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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 17, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 17, 2024Hindi
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Hello sir. I want to build emergency fund. I can save 5,000 ? for month.I wish to build upto 3,00,0000 ? for my emergency needs. Kindly suggest better options for Emergency Fund.

Ans: Building an emergency fund is a crucial step towards financial security. Given your ability to save 5,000 rupees per month, let's explore the best options to build your emergency fund efficiently.

Setting Your Goal
You aim to build an emergency fund of 3,00,000 rupees. This will take some time and discipline, but it is achievable. Here are some strategies and options to help you build your emergency fund.

Savings Accounts
A traditional savings account is a safe and easily accessible option. While the interest rates are relatively low, the security and liquidity make it an excellent choice for emergency funds.

Benefits:
Liquidity: Easy access to funds when needed.
Safety: Minimal risk as it is insured by banks.
Drawbacks:
Low Interest Rates: Usually between 3-4% per annum.
Fixed Deposits (FDs)
Fixed Deposits provide higher interest rates compared to savings accounts. However, they may have penalties for early withdrawals, so choose an FD with a flexible tenure or partial withdrawal options.

Benefits:
Higher Interest Rates: Typically 5-7% per annum.
Low Risk: Safe investment with guaranteed returns.
Drawbacks:
Lock-in Period: May incur penalties for early withdrawal.
Recurring Deposits (RDs)
Recurring Deposits allow you to save a fixed amount every month, similar to your savings plan. They offer better interest rates than savings accounts and can be a good option for building an emergency fund.

Benefits:
Disciplined Savings: Regular monthly savings with interest.
Moderate Interest Rates: Around 5-6% per annum.
Drawbacks:
Fixed Tenure: Less flexibility in withdrawing funds early.
Liquid Mutual Funds
Liquid Mutual Funds invest in short-term debt securities and offer better returns than savings accounts with high liquidity. They are a good option for an emergency fund due to their ease of access and moderate returns.

Benefits:
Higher Returns: Typically 4-6% per annum.
High Liquidity: Can be withdrawn within 24-48 hours without significant penalties.
Drawbacks:
Market Risk: Although low, they are not completely risk-free.
Suggested Strategy
Combining different options can provide a balanced approach to building your emergency fund. Here’s a suggested allocation to diversify your savings and maximize returns:

Savings Account: Allocate 2,000 rupees per month.

Reason: Immediate liquidity and safety.
Recurring Deposit (RD): Allocate 2,000 rupees per month.

Reason: Encourages disciplined savings with moderate returns.
Liquid Mutual Funds: Allocate 1,000 rupees per month.

Reason: Higher returns with good liquidity.
Steps to Implement
Open Accounts:

Choose a savings account with good interest rates and easy access.
Open a recurring deposit with a reputable bank.
Invest in a liquid mutual fund through a trusted mutual fund provider.
Set Up Automated Transfers:

Automate monthly transfers to your savings account, RD, and liquid mutual funds to ensure consistent savings.
Monitor and Adjust:

Regularly check the progress of your emergency fund.
Adjust the allocation if needed based on your savings growth and financial situation.
Conclusion
By combining a savings account, recurring deposit, and liquid mutual funds, you can efficiently build your emergency fund of 3,00,000 rupees. This diversified approach balances liquidity, safety, and returns, ensuring you are well-prepared for any emergency.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
Asked on - May 17, 2024 | Answered on May 17, 2024
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Thank you so much for valuable advice Sir.
Ans: Welcome :)
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 04, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hi Nikunj, I have 10 lakhs in cash and I can invest 25000 per month, I want to invest 5 lakh as an emergency fund and 5 lakh for long term 10 year, please suggest few funds where I can diversify and good for long term growth I am willing to take high to very high risk for lumpsump and sip for 3 yrs I can take high risk. Suggest some place where I can park my emergency fund
Ans: Smart Saving: Emergency Fund & Long-Term Growth
That's a fantastic approach! Having Rs. 5 lakh as an emergency fund shows you're prepared for the unexpected. And investing Rs. 5 lakh for long-term growth is a smart way to build wealth. Let's explore some options:

Emergency Fund - Park Your Safety Net

Your emergency fund needs to be easily accessible and low-risk. Here are some good options:

High-Yield Savings Account: Look for an account with a competitive interest rate to make your money grow a little.

Liquid Funds: These are mutual funds that invest in very short-term debt instruments, offering easy access to your money and some potential for returns.

Important: Emergency funds are not about high returns, they're about security.

Long-Term Growth - High Risk, High Reward (Potentially!)

Since you have a high-risk tolerance for long-term growth, actively managed mutual funds can be a good fit. Here's why:

Actively Managed vs. Index Funds: Unlike index funds that simply mirror the market, actively managed funds have fund managers who try to outperform the market by picking promising stocks. This approach has the potential for higher returns, but also carries more risk.
Diversification is Key!

To spread your risk and maximize your growth potential, consider investing in different asset classes through actively managed funds:

Multi-Cap Funds: Invest across large, mid, and small-cap companies, offering diversification and growth potential.

Sectoral Funds: Focus on specific sectors like technology or healthcare, which can offer high growth but also come with higher risk due to concentration in one area.

Flexi-Cap Funds: These funds offer the flexibility to invest across market capitalizations based on market conditions.

Investing Rs. 25,000 per Month (SIP) - Patience is Power

Regular investments (SIPs) in actively managed funds can average out the cost of your investment over time. This is a great way to benefit from rupee-cost averaging and ride out market fluctuations.

Remember, this is just a general guideline. It's important to consult with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) for personalized advice. They can consider your specific financial situation, risk tolerance, and investment goals to create a tailored plan.

A CFP can also help you with:

Choosing the Right Funds: They can recommend actively managed funds with a good track record and experienced fund managers.

Asset Allocation: They can advise on the right mix of asset classes (multi-cap, sectoral, etc.) to achieve your goals.

Regular Reviews: A CFP will monitor your progress and adjust your plan as needed.

Taking Charge of Your Future

By setting up an emergency fund and investing for long-term growth, you're taking control of your financial future. Remember, high-risk investments can potentially lead to higher returns, but also come with greater risk of loss. A CFP can help you navigate these waters and make informed investment decisions.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 10, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 18, 2024Hindi
Money
How to build emergency fund and where to park that fund. I mean in savings account or any liquid funds. Pls guide
Ans: building an emergency fund is an essential part of financial planning. It’s great that you’re taking this step to secure your financial future. Let’s go through the process in detail and understand where to park this fund.

Understanding the Need for an Emergency Fund
Having an emergency fund is like having a financial safety net. It helps you cover unexpected expenses without disrupting your long-term investments or taking on debt. This fund provides peace of mind and financial stability during tough times.

How Much Should You Save?
The amount you need depends on your monthly expenses. A common rule is to save 6 to 12 months of living expenses. This covers rent, utilities, groceries, and other essentials.

Assessing Your Monthly Expenses
Start by calculating your monthly expenses. Include rent, utilities, groceries, transportation, and any other recurring costs. Multiply this by the number of months you want to cover.

Setting a Savings Goal
Once you have your monthly expenses figured out, set a savings goal. For example, if your monthly expenses are Rs 50,000, aim to save between Rs 3 lakhs and Rs 6 lakhs.

Building Your Emergency Fund
Building an emergency fund takes time and discipline. Here’s how you can do it systematically.

Start Small and Build Gradually
Begin by saving a small amount each month. Even Rs 5,000 or Rs 10,000 a month can add up over time. Increase the amount as your income grows.

Automate Your Savings
Set up an automatic transfer from your salary account to your emergency fund. This ensures consistent savings without relying on willpower.

Cut Unnecessary Expenses
Identify areas where you can cut back. Redirect those savings to your emergency fund. Small sacrifices now can lead to big benefits later.

Where to Park Your Emergency Fund?
Choosing the right place to park your emergency fund is crucial. It should be easily accessible, safe, and provide some returns.

Savings Account
A savings account is the simplest and safest option. Your money is easily accessible, and you earn a modest interest. However, the returns are lower compared to other options.

Liquid Funds
Liquid funds are a type of mutual fund that invests in short-term instruments. They offer better returns than savings accounts and are relatively safe. You can access your money quickly, usually within 24 hours.

Advantages of Liquid Funds
Liquid funds provide higher returns than savings accounts. They are a good option for parking your emergency fund. Let’s explore their advantages.

Higher Returns
Liquid funds generally offer higher returns compared to savings accounts. This helps your money grow while still being accessible.

Liquidity
You can withdraw from liquid funds quickly. Most funds process withdrawals within a day, making them almost as accessible as a savings account.

Low Risk
Liquid funds invest in short-term, high-quality instruments. This makes them less risky compared to other mutual funds.

Risks and Considerations
While liquid funds are safe, they are not entirely risk-free. It’s important to understand these risks before investing.

Market Risk
Although minimal, there is some market risk. The value of the fund can fluctuate slightly based on market conditions.

Credit Risk
Liquid funds invest in debt instruments. There’s a small risk that the issuers might default. However, this risk is very low with high-quality instruments.

Combining Savings Account and Liquid Funds
You can use a combination of a savings account and liquid funds. This balances safety, accessibility, and returns.

Immediate Needs in Savings Account
Keep a portion of your emergency fund in a savings account. This covers immediate needs and unexpected expenses.

Remainder in Liquid Funds
Park the rest in liquid funds. This ensures higher returns while still being accessible within a short period.

Regular Review and Adjustments
Regularly review your emergency fund to ensure it meets your needs. Adjust the amount as your expenses change.

Annual Review
Review your emergency fund annually. Adjust for any changes in your monthly expenses or financial situation.

Rebalancing
If your emergency fund grows significantly, rebalance it. Move excess funds to long-term investments for better growth.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
While liquid funds are good for emergency savings, actively managed funds are better for long-term investments.

Professional Management
Actively managed funds have professional managers. They make investment decisions based on market conditions, aiming for higher returns.

Flexibility
Actively managed funds can adapt to market changes quickly. This flexibility helps in capturing growth opportunities and managing risks.

Avoiding Index Funds
Index funds track a market index and are passively managed. They have lower fees but may not provide the best returns.

Limited Growth
Index funds aim to match the market, not beat it. This limits their growth potential compared to actively managed funds.

Lack of Adaptability
Index funds cannot adapt to market changes quickly. They are less flexible compared to actively managed funds.

Role of a Certified Financial Planner
A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can help you manage your emergency fund and overall financial plan.

Personalized Advice
CFPs provide tailored advice based on your specific needs and goals. They help you make informed decisions.

Long-Term Planning
A CFP helps you create a long-term financial plan. This ensures you have sufficient funds for emergencies and other financial goals.

Evaluating LIC and ULIP Policies
If you hold LIC or ULIP policies, assess their returns. These policies often provide lower returns compared to mutual funds.

Surrender and Reinvest
Consider surrendering low-yield LIC or ULIP policies and reinvesting the proceeds in mutual funds. This can enhance your overall returns.

Tax Efficiency
Investing in tax-efficient instruments can maximize your returns. Liquid funds are more tax-efficient compared to savings accounts.

Tax Benefits
Liquid funds may offer tax benefits, especially if held for more than three years. Consult with a CFP for personalized tax advice.

Emergency Fund Strategies for Different Life Stages
Your emergency fund needs may vary at different life stages. Let’s explore how to manage it effectively.

Young Professionals
Start small and build gradually. Automate your savings and cut unnecessary expenses. Use a combination of savings account and liquid funds.

Mid-Career
Increase your emergency fund as your expenses grow. Consider keeping a larger portion in liquid funds for better returns.

Nearing Retirement
Focus on safety and accessibility. Keep most of your emergency fund in a savings account. Maintain some in liquid funds for better returns.

Final Insights
Building an emergency fund is crucial for financial stability. Start by assessing your expenses and setting a savings goal. Use a combination of a savings account and liquid funds to balance safety and returns.

Regularly review and adjust your fund to ensure it meets your needs. Consult with a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice and long-term planning.

Remember, the key is to stay disciplined and consistent in your savings efforts. This will ensure you have a robust financial safety net for any unexpected expenses.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
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This is my second attempt at SSC CGL, and I’ve improved since last year. But I’m still anxious about the descriptive paper. Can you suggest ways to stand out in this section and make my essay and letter writing more impactful?
Ans: The SSC CGL descriptive paper requires a clear, structured, and effective presentation. To improve your essay writing skills, review the subject matter thoroughly and avoid deviations from the central theme. Sketch an initial outline and adhere to a straightforward framework, including an Introduction, Body, and Conclusion. Start with a hook and express your thesis or stance in a concise manner. Arrange arguments in a logical order, using data, examples, and facts to establish credibility. Avoid repetition and maintain brevity.

In summary, concisely summarize the primary themes and offer a fair perspective. Avoid vernacular language and maintain appropriate sentence structure and grammar. Maintain a clean writing style and avoid overwriting.

For writing a letter, adhere to the conventional format, maintain clarity and conciseness, and articulate the purpose in the first paragraph. Use simple language and avoid intricate terminology.

Regularly engage in writing essays and correspondence on various subjects to develop adaptability. Stay informed about the latest news and hot topics. Develop time management skills and consistently proofread your work for errors.

Developing impactful essays and letters with clarity, structure, and content relevance enhances your chances of success in the SSC CGL descriptive paper. All The Best for Your Prosperous Future.

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Asked by Anonymous - Jan 05, 2025Hindi
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How to manage stress?
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One effective approach is to incorporate regular self-care practices into your daily routine. This could include activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time in nature. These practices not only help calm the mind but also improve your overall mood and resilience to stress.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
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Dear Counselor, My husband and I have been together for 11 years, with 10 years of dating and 1 year of marriage. Unfortunately, our relationship has been strained over the past year due to financial disagreements. Before marriage, we discussed his personal loan, which was taken for a land purchase for his mother. The loan repayment amounts to 30% of his salary. He assured me that, except for this loan repayment, he would not contribute financially to his parents' expenses until the loan was paid off. However, his parents are now pressuring him to increase his financial support by 20%. They claim to need help clearing their debts, despite being below 45, physically fit, and earning a sufficient income to support themselves. This situation is causing tension in our marriage, as we had planned to save and invest together, having no property or financial security of our own. I'm finding it challenging to understand why my husband is not prioritizing our financial goals and future together. please help me on this. Thank you for your time and guidance.
Ans: The key here is to approach the situation with empathy and open communication. Your husband likely feels a strong sense of duty towards his parents, which is understandable given cultural and familial expectations. However, it’s also important for him to recognize the commitments and plans you’ve both made as a couple. Balancing these two responsibilities can be difficult, but it’s essential for the health of your relationship.

Start by having a calm and honest conversation with your husband. Express your feelings without blame, focusing on how the situation affects both of you and your shared goals. It’s important that he understands your perspective and how the financial strain is impacting not only your plans but also your emotional well-being.

Encourage him to discuss his feelings and the pressure he’s experiencing from his parents. Sometimes, partners may feel caught between their familial obligations and their commitments to their spouse, leading to stress and internal conflict. Understanding his point of view can help you find common ground.

You might also explore practical solutions together, such as setting clear boundaries on financial support or finding a compromise that allows both your goals and his familial obligations to be met to some extent. This could involve budgeting, setting financial priorities, or seeking financial counseling to help manage the situation more effectively.

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Kanchan Rai  |492 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi Mam, I met my ex wife in the college where we both were pursuing out studies. We exchanged contacts and started speaking over phone like couple does. When we fall in live we ourselves don't know as no one propose to each other. As i finished my studies, she quit studies in the middle and decided to do hotel management course. Amd it so happened, next day her interview was lined up but unfortunately due to unavoidable circumstances she has to go to her native place. As Covid struck she git stuck in her native place and couldn't come back. And when everything became normal i insisted her to come but her mom was not allowing. After a lot of struggle her mom allowed her and she came back. In this course of time both families was aware about our relationship. My mom was against her because of 2 reasons, 1) Intercaste 2) She was from very poor and low caste background. Them too i continued the relationship and i convinced to my sister and she convinced to mom. And when she was in native place, she said once that her voice has gone has gone she need 50k for operation. I trying madly to arrange funds and one of my friend told me that she is playing with you be careful but as i was blind in love i necer listened him. When she came to Mumbai i arranged a pg accommodation for her for some time and i use to take her out for dinner as there use to be regular fights with owner. Somehow i convinced my mom and shifted her to my place. There use to be fights but we use to care for each other also at the same time. She started to do events and slowly and steadily started to work in media. She was well aware that i dont like girls working media then too i have her permission to work in media temporary. I went against everyone, my family and friend and after 7yrs of relationship we decided to get marry and it was working fine. After marriage fight increased and she used to taunt though i did so much for her. Once she was not well and as she used to taunt me i never took care of her. One day my dear friend told me to check her phone, she might be seeing someone. And when i checked she was having an affair with Assistant director, i saw msgs photos. And when i confronted she said "He is just a friend and we talk normally" I saw they both on one bed and when i forward their pics to her mom she said "There might be some problem in you only." And when i asked to my ex wife about all this she said "A person goes where he or she gets love and care" All this happened within 6-8 months of our marriage. When i came to know about all this i tod her to leave my house and she was asking for divorce because of my mon's behavior also. I think i should have not tell her to leave as when she left i don't know but i love her very much. I even told her to give me one chance as i gave her but she didn't stopped talking with her bf. And she didn't gave me a chance and went away. We have been legally divorced but still i love her and ready to accept her. But she doesn't want to come back. I am trying to forget her but couldn't. Luckily we don't have kids. Sometimes my heart says let her go she cheated you. Sometimes it says i love now also. I am struggling to forgot her as i am in contact now also. Please suggest. Thank you
Ans: it's important to acknowledge and honor the love you felt and still feel. Love doesn’t simply disappear overnight, and it’s natural to have lingering emotions, especially when you’ve shared so much history and effort to keep the relationship going. However, it’s also crucial to recognize the harm and hurt caused by her actions and the unresolved issues that led to the breakdown of your marriage.

The fact that she chose not to return and continues to maintain contact with the person she was involved with suggests that she has moved on emotionally, even if you haven’t. Holding onto hope for reconciliation can keep you trapped in a cycle of pain and longing, which makes it harder to heal and move forward.

Your heart and mind are sending you mixed signals because you’re torn between the love you still feel and the reality of the betrayal. This is a common struggle after a significant loss, but it’s important to focus on what’s best for your emotional well-being. Continuing to be in contact with her may be preventing you from healing fully. It might be beneficial to create some distance, at least temporarily, to allow yourself the space to process your feelings and begin the healing process.

Focusing on yourself and your own growth is essential. Consider engaging in activities that bring you joy, spending time with supportive friends and family, and possibly seeking professional counseling to help you work through your emotions and develop strategies to move forward.

Letting go is difficult, especially when you still have love for someone, but it’s a crucial step towards healing. Accepting that the relationship has ended and focusing on your future can help you find peace and eventually open the door to new possibilities for love and happiness.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 13, 2025Hindi
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My partner and I are from different cultural backgrounds. She has always felt a strong spiritual connection to events like the Kumbh Mela. Earlier this year, while booking the tickets she had asked if I would like to join her as she is travelling solo. While I respect her beliefs, I refused to join because I am not a religious person. Now that she has booked her tickets, I am worried about her safety. Should I tell her to cancel her trip? I don't want her to think that I am disrespecting her choices or religion. Or should I just tag along and make her feel safe? How do I address these concerns and have a healthy conversation?
Ans: Start by having an honest conversation with her. Share your feelings about her safety in a caring and non-confrontational way. Let her know that your concern comes from a place of love and care, not from a lack of respect for her spiritual journey. It’s important to express that you understand her desire to attend the Kumbh Mela and that you support her connection to this event.

If you’re considering joining her, it could be a gesture of solidarity and support, even if you’re not personally invested in the spiritual aspect. However, it’s crucial to approach this as a way to share the experience together and ensure her safety, rather than as an obligation or with reluctance. If you decide to join her, communicate that you’re doing so because you want to be there for her, which could strengthen your relationship.

On the other hand, if you feel strongly about not attending due to personal beliefs, you can suggest other ways to support her. This might include discussing safety plans or staying in close communication while she’s there. This approach shows that you trust her decisions while still being there for her in a supportive way.

Ultimately, the conversation should aim to understand each other’s perspectives and find a solution that makes both of you feel comfortable and respected. Balancing your care for her safety with respect for her independence and beliefs is key to maintaining a healthy, supportive relationship.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |492 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 09, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I am 42 Female currently, last marriage didn't go well, afraid of new start, I neither type of person who can go to club etc etc to "find someone" - What's the best way to move forward, Do we have genuine way of finding someone who can become reliable partner too (No tinder etc as again I knw myself now at this age, I can't) - Please guide
Ans: One of the best ways to meet someone compatible is through shared interests and environments where you feel at ease. Consider engaging in activities or communities that resonate with you. This could include joining local interest groups, volunteering, or taking classes in areas you’re passionate about. These settings not only provide opportunities to meet like-minded individuals but also allow connections to develop organically over shared experiences and values.

Another valuable approach is to lean on your existing network. Friends, family, and colleagues often know you well and can introduce you to others who might be a good match. These introductions can be more comfortable and trustworthy since they come from people who understand your personality and values.

It’s also important to give yourself time and space to heal and grow from past experiences. Building a reliable and meaningful relationship starts with being in a place where you feel confident and whole on your own. This self-awareness and emotional readiness will naturally attract the right kind of partner who values and respects you for who you are.

Remember, there’s no rush or specific timeline you need to adhere to. Allow relationships to develop at a pace that feels right for you, and focus on building connections that are based on mutual respect, understanding, and shared values. Trust that the right person will come into your life when the time is right, and until then, prioritize your own happiness and well-being.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |492 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

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My age is 48 years and i have one son aged 17 years and i am single son of my parents ,one and half year back my wife expired and upon insisted by my parents and close relatives i got remarried and she has one girl aged 8 years, after passing of six months she has started showing her true colors and it has become very difficult for me to continue and i want to get rid of this . Please guide me what should i do now.
Ans: Dear Dinesh,
it’s important to reflect on what is making the relationship difficult. Understanding the specific issues—whether they stem from differences in values, communication problems, or other conflicts—can provide clarity on how to move forward.

If you haven't already, consider having an open and honest conversation with your wife about your concerns. Sometimes, addressing issues directly can lead to resolutions or at least a better understanding of each other's perspectives. Counseling, either individually or as a couple, can also be a valuable tool in navigating these challenges and deciding the best course of action.

However, if you’ve already tried addressing these issues and find that the relationship is still untenable, it may be time to consider ending the marriage. It’s important to prioritize your emotional and mental well-being, as well as that of your son and stepdaughter. Divorce is never an easy decision, especially when children are involved, but staying in an unhappy and unhealthy relationship can have long-term negative impacts on everyone.

As you contemplate your next steps, it’s also important to lean on your support system. Friends, family, or a counselor can provide guidance and help you navigate this difficult period. Remember, prioritizing your well-being is not only crucial for you but also for your children, as they look to you for stability and emotional guidance. Making decisions that lead to a healthier and happier environment for everyone involved is ultimately the most important goal.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |492 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 08, 2024
Relationship
Hello mam.I know a girl since college days.She is married to a guy since last 15 years.Since last 3 years we had an affair.I did take her for granted after our 2 nd half 3 years of relationship.Since a year now she has been giving me some or the other reason such as she is not getting feeling for me,husband is taking much care now so cant handle our relationship,then she told she has some health issue and now recently she tells me she has been telling me indirectly since a year to move on as she was in a relationship with some guy whom she got attracted in a mutual connection.But now she has discontinued with him as well. We do chat on message and call sometime but now since a year she herself has stopped calling or messaging.She replies only when i message or call. I want her back in my life and improve my relationship with her.Please guide me to get her back and have a relationship with her as we had till last year.What steps should I take to win her heart back and make her mine?
Ans: The first step is to acknowledge and respect her current feelings and boundaries. It’s clear she’s navigating her own emotional journey and trying to find clarity in her life. Pressuring her or trying to win her back without considering her current stance may push her further away.

Instead, focus on open and honest communication. If you genuinely care for her, it’s important to express your feelings without being demanding. Share how you feel, but also be willing to listen to her perspective fully. Understand that love and relationships are mutual, and both parties need to feel connected and invested.

During this time, it’s also essential to reflect on your own needs and emotional well-being. Ask yourself if this relationship, as it currently stands, is fulfilling and healthy for you. Relationships can be complicated, and sometimes stepping back to allow both people space to understand their feelings can lead to a clearer path forward, whether that’s together or apart.

Ultimately, your focus should be on building healthy, honest connections and prioritizing emotional well-being for both yourself and the people involved. If there’s a possibility of rekindling the relationship, it will come from mutual understanding, respect, and willingness from both sides.

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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