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How Can a 36-Year-Old With High Income & Investments Be Financially Independent in 10 Years?

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8077 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 31, 2025

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 31, 2025Hindi
Money

Hello Sir, I am a 36 years old man, father of 2 (5y & 2y), Our income is 40Lacs pa post tax addition to that we have a rental income of 50K pm, our monthly expense is around 40K which is taken care by rents. Doing a SIP of 2.5 lac with total investment of 28L , have a RD of 25 L, ULIP -10L, Gold- 50L, I want to be financially independent in next 10 years. No loan , no credit cards., Has a medical policy of 25L. Emergency fund of 10L. Please advice how i can achieve financial independence in next 10 years.

Ans: 1. Understanding Your Financial Position
You are 36 years old with a goal of financial independence in 10 years.

Your annual post-tax income is Rs 40 lakh, with an additional rental income of Rs 50,000 per month.

Your monthly expenses are Rs 40,000, which are fully covered by rental income.

Your current investments include:

Rs 2.5 lakh SIP per month
Rs 28 lakh in mutual funds
Rs 25 lakh in RD
Rs 10 lakh in ULIP
Rs 50 lakh in gold
Rs 10 lakh emergency fund
You have no loans or credit cards, which is a strong financial position.

Your health insurance is Rs 25 lakh, which is good but may need a review later.

2. Defining Financial Independence
Financial independence means having passive income that covers all expenses.

You need enough wealth to generate returns that sustain your lifestyle.

Your target should be to build a portfolio that provides stable income after 10 years.

3. Optimising Your Current Investments
Mutual Funds – Increase Allocation
Your Rs 2.5 lakh SIP is excellent, but it needs active management.

Actively managed funds provide better returns than index funds.

Direct mutual funds lack professional management. Investing through an MFD with CFP credential helps maximise returns.

Maintain a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and hybrid funds for stability and growth.

Recurring Deposit (RD) – Shift to Growth Assets
Rs 25 lakh in RD earns lower returns compared to equity.

Consider shifting RD funds gradually into mutual funds for better compounding.

Keep only a portion in fixed-income instruments for stability.

ULIP – Consider Surrendering
ULIPs mix insurance with investment, which reduces returns.

Surrendering and reinvesting in mutual funds can improve returns significantly.

Keep insurance separate from investments for better wealth creation.

Gold – Maintain a Balanced Allocation
Rs 50 lakh in gold is a significant portion of your portfolio.

Gold is good for diversification but does not generate passive income.

Consider reducing gold exposure and reallocating to growth-oriented assets.

4. Asset Allocation for Financial Independence
A well-diversified portfolio ensures long-term stability and wealth growth.

Your asset allocation can be:

60% in equity mutual funds
20% in debt funds and bonds
10% in gold and other assets
10% in liquid funds for short-term needs
Adjust allocation every year based on market performance.

5. Passive Income Strategy
Your goal is to generate passive income through investments.

SIPs will build a strong equity base over the next 10 years.

A mix of mutual funds and debt instruments will provide steady cash flow.

Rental income already covers monthly expenses, which is an advantage.

After 10 years, your investments should generate returns covering all financial needs.

6. Emergency Fund and Insurance Review
Emergency Fund
Your Rs 10 lakh emergency fund is good.

Keep this amount in liquid funds or fixed deposits for easy access.

Maintain at least six months of expenses as a backup.

Health Insurance
Your Rs 25 lakh health cover is decent, but medical costs rise over time.

Consider increasing coverage to Rs 50 lakh if affordable.

Ensure it covers critical illness and long-term care needs.

7. Retirement and Children’s Education Planning
Retirement Planning
Financial independence should include a secure retirement plan.

Your investments will continue growing even after achieving independence.

Keep investing to ensure financial security beyond the next 10 years.

Children’s Education
Education costs will rise significantly over time.

Start a dedicated investment plan for your children’s higher education.

Equity mutual funds with a long-term horizon will help meet this goal.

8. Tax Efficiency and Wealth Preservation
Efficient tax planning ensures you maximise post-tax returns.

Long-term capital gains tax is lower on equity investments.


Regularly review your tax liability to optimise investment returns.

9. Monitoring and Adjusting the Plan
Review your portfolio every six months.

Rebalance investments if market conditions change.

Keep track of financial independence progress based on wealth accumulation.

10. Final Insights
Your financial position is strong, and your goal is achievable.

Shifting from low-return assets to equity will help in long-term wealth creation.

Active management of investments will ensure better returns and financial security.

Keep insurance separate from investments to avoid lower returns.

A disciplined approach to investing and spending will lead to financial independence.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8077 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 24, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 47 years old. Monthly salary at 2 lakhs. Daughter of 12year old and son of 14 year old Monthly SIP of 30k. PF of 3 lakhs. 5 lakhs in debt/liquid funds/bank. Retirement at the age of 55 is possible with monthly expenses of 1.5lakhs?I also have home loan with 135 EMIs pending of 60000 per month.Suggest how to become economically independent.
Ans: You are 47 years old with a monthly salary of Rs. 2 lakhs. Your daughter is 12 years old and your son is 14 years old. You have a home loan with 135 EMIs of Rs. 60,000 each pending. Your current financial assets include:

Monthly SIP: Rs. 30,000.
Provident Fund (PF): Rs. 3 lakhs.
Debt/Liquid Funds and Bank Savings: Rs. 5 lakhs.
You plan to retire at 55 and wish to maintain monthly expenses of Rs. 1.5 lakhs post-retirement. Let’s analyze and plan your finances to help you achieve economic independence by retirement.

Current Financial Goals
Retire at 55: You have 8 years left until retirement.
Monthly Expenses Post-Retirement: Rs. 1.5 lakhs.
Home Loan: 135 EMIs of Rs. 60,000.
Children’s Education and Future: Planning for their higher education and possibly marriages.
Detailed Financial Assessment
Income and Expenses
Your monthly salary is Rs. 2 lakhs. Let’s break down your expenses:

Home Loan EMI: Rs. 60,000.
Monthly SIP: Rs. 30,000.
Other Monthly Expenses: Approximately Rs. 1.1 lakhs.
This means your total monthly outflow is around Rs. 1.9 lakhs. You have Rs. 10,000 surplus monthly, which can be utilized for savings or investments.

Provident Fund and Debt Investments
Your PF amount is Rs. 3 lakhs, and you have Rs. 5 lakhs in debt/liquid funds and bank savings. These are stable but low-yielding investments. Diversifying your portfolio is essential for growth.

Creating a Robust Retirement Plan
Goal 1: Clearing the Home Loan
Clearing your home loan should be a priority. With 135 EMIs of Rs. 60,000 each, you have approximately Rs. 81 lakhs outstanding. Try to make additional payments towards your loan whenever possible to reduce interest burden and loan tenure.

Goal 2: Building a Retirement Corpus
To maintain Rs. 1.5 lakhs monthly expenses post-retirement, you need a substantial corpus. Let’s look at how to build this corpus over the next 8 years.

1. Maximize SIP Investments
Your current SIP of Rs. 30,000 is a good start. Equity mutual funds, especially diversified ones, offer potential for high returns. As you get closer to retirement, gradually shift some investments to debt funds to reduce risk.

2. Increase Monthly SIPs
If possible, increase your SIP contributions. Every increase will significantly boost your corpus due to the power of compounding. Aim to incrementally increase SIPs as your salary grows or expenses reduce.

3. Invest in a Mix of Funds
A balanced portfolio should include:

Equity Mutual Funds: For growth.
Debt Mutual Funds: For stability.
Hybrid Funds: For a balanced approach.
4. Consider Retirement Funds
Retirement-specific mutual funds are designed to provide regular income post-retirement. They can be a good addition to your portfolio.

Goal 3: Planning for Children’s Education
1. Education Funds
Start dedicated funds for your children’s higher education. Equity funds can be ideal given the 5-10 year horizon. Regularly review and top-up these investments.

2. Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs)
Continue SIPs for children’s education. These regular investments will accumulate a significant corpus over time.

Investment Strategy and Allocation
Diversifying Portfolio
Diversification is crucial to manage risk and ensure steady growth. Your portfolio should include:

Equity Mutual Funds: For high growth potential.
Debt Mutual Funds: For stability and regular income.
Gold: As a hedge against inflation.
PPF/EPF: For tax-free returns and safety.
Avoiding Index Funds
While index funds track the market, actively managed funds can outperform by adjusting the portfolio based on market conditions. Actively managed funds have the potential for higher returns due to professional management.

Benefits of Regular Funds
Regular funds provide the advantage of professional advice. A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can guide you to choose the best funds, helping you navigate market complexities.

Risk Management
Building an Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund covering 6-12 months of expenses. This provides financial security during unexpected events.

Insurance Coverage
Ensure adequate health and life insurance. This protects your family’s financial future in case of unforeseen events.

Tax Planning
Utilizing Tax Benefits
Maximize tax-saving investments like PPF, EPF, and tax-saving mutual funds. This not only reduces your tax liability but also boosts your savings.

Final Insights
Regular Reviews and Adjustments
Periodically review your financial plan. Adjust investments based on market conditions and changes in your financial goals.

Incremental Increases in Investments
As your salary increases, incrementally raise your investment amounts. This enhances your corpus significantly over time.

Financial Discipline
Maintain financial discipline by sticking to your investment plan. Avoid unnecessary expenditures and focus on your long-term goals.

Retirement Corpus Calculation
Your retirement corpus should be a mix of growth and stable investments. Regularly rebalance your portfolio to ensure it aligns with your risk tolerance and financial goals.

By following this comprehensive plan, you can achieve economic independence and ensure a comfortable retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8077 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 22, 2024

Money
Hello, i am 37 and my wife 36. We earn monthly 3lacs. We dont have any liabilities. Home loan is cleared couple of years back. Have 3bhk where we reside, 2bhk rented out with 17k per month rental income and we have houses from both of our parents. We have 10lacs in FDs for emergency, 15 lacs in mutual funds (with monthly SIP of 1.5lacs), PPF 16lacs (monthly 25k), NPS started few years back with around 5lacs (10%of basic monthly 17-18k), PF Accumulation around 30lacs, lic premiums of around 56k annually, my term insurance of around 1.3cr, my wife's term insurance of 60lacs, enough health insurance covers from both of our companies, 7-8lacs in gold. Could you pls guide us if we want to be financially independent in next 15 years?
Ans: Your current financial standing is quite strong. At 37 and 36 years old, both you and your wife have done well in managing your finances.

You have no liabilities, with your home loan cleared and multiple properties providing you with rental income. You also have a substantial emergency fund in fixed deposits, significant investments in mutual funds, provident funds, and gold. Your insurance coverage is comprehensive, with term insurance for both of you, and health insurance provided by your employers. These factors set a solid foundation for your future financial independence.

Evaluating Your Financial Goals
Your goal is to achieve financial independence in the next 15 years. This goal is ambitious but attainable, given your current financial situation and disciplined approach to saving and investing.

To evaluate your progress toward financial independence, we will assess your current investments, savings rate, and expected future returns. We will also consider your expenses and lifestyle expectations post-retirement.

Assessing Your Current Investments
Emergency Fund: You have Rs 10 lakhs in fixed deposits, which is a prudent move. This amount is sufficient to cover around 4-6 months of expenses, ensuring financial stability during unexpected situations.

Mutual Funds: With Rs 15 lakhs already invested and a monthly SIP of Rs 1.5 lakhs, your mutual fund investments are on track. This approach is excellent for long-term wealth creation.

PPF and NPS: Your PPF balance of Rs 16 lakhs and a monthly contribution of Rs 25,000 add up to a substantial corpus over time. The NPS balance of Rs 5 lakhs will also grow significantly with regular contributions.

Provident Fund: Your PF accumulation of Rs 30 lakhs is a strong foundation for your retirement corpus.

Gold: With 7-8 lakhs invested in gold, you have diversified your portfolio well, although gold should be viewed as a hedge rather than a primary investment.

Insurance: Your term insurance coverage is adequate, with Rs 1.3 crores for you and Rs 60 lakhs for your wife. LIC premiums of Rs 56,000 annually indicate that you have some traditional insurance policies, which may not be the best for wealth creation but provide a safety net.

Identifying Gaps and Opportunities
Although you are in a strong position, there are areas where you can optimize your investments to reach your goal of financial independence in 15 years.

Optimizing Your Mutual Fund Investments
Your current SIP of Rs 1.5 lakhs per month is commendable. However, it’s crucial to ensure that your mutual fund portfolio is well-diversified across various asset classes such as equity, debt, and hybrid funds.

Given your long-term goal, focusing more on equity mutual funds could provide the growth needed to achieve substantial wealth. It is also wise to periodically review and rebalance your portfolio to ensure it aligns with your risk tolerance and financial goals.

Reviewing Your PPF and NPS Contributions
Your PPF contributions are disciplined, and this is a safe, tax-efficient investment. However, given the long lock-in period, ensure that you have enough liquidity outside of PPF for other investment opportunities.

Your NPS contributions, while beneficial for retirement, should be balanced with the need for flexibility. NPS offers a good mix of equity and debt, but it comes with restrictions on withdrawal before retirement. Ensure that your overall investment portfolio is not overly restricted by such instruments.

Reassessing Gold Investments
While gold serves as a good hedge against inflation, it is not a high-growth asset. Ensure that your gold investments do not constitute too large a portion of your portfolio. Ideally, it should be around 5-10% of your total assets. This allows you to benefit from the safety of gold without sacrificing potential returns from other investments.

Evaluating Your Insurance Policies
Your term insurance coverage is robust, which is essential. However, if the LIC policies you hold are traditional endowment or money-back plans, you may want to reconsider them. These policies often have low returns compared to mutual funds. If feasible, you could consider surrendering them and redirecting the premiums into higher-yielding investments like mutual funds. However, this should be done only after evaluating any surrender charges and the impact on your overall financial plan.

Planning for Financial Independence
Achieving financial independence in the next 15 years requires careful planning and disciplined execution. Here’s a step-by-step approach:

1. Determine Your Retirement Corpus
To achieve financial independence, you need to estimate the corpus required to sustain your lifestyle post-retirement. Consider your current expenses, inflation, and life expectancy. A rough estimate would be to accumulate at least 25-30 times your annual expenses as your retirement corpus. This amount should be sufficient to generate a sustainable income through systematic withdrawal plans (SWPs) or other income-generating assets.

2. Enhance Your Savings and Investments
Given your current income of Rs 3 lakhs per month, you can consider increasing your savings rate. You are already saving and investing a substantial amount, but if you can allocate more towards investments, it will significantly accelerate your path to financial independence.

Increase SIP Contributions: Gradually increase your SIP contributions as your income grows. This will ensure that your investments keep pace with inflation and provide the necessary growth to achieve your financial goals.

Diversify Across Asset Classes: While equity mutual funds are essential for growth, consider adding some debt funds to your portfolio to balance risk. Hybrid funds can also offer a mix of stability and growth.

3. Monitor and Rebalance Your Portfolio
Regularly monitor your investment portfolio to ensure it aligns with your financial goals. Rebalancing is crucial to maintain the desired asset allocation and to take advantage of market opportunities. It also helps in managing risks and ensuring that your portfolio is not overly concentrated in one asset class.

4. Plan for Post-Retirement Income
Once you achieve financial independence, generating a regular income to sustain your lifestyle becomes the priority. Consider creating a portfolio that can generate a steady income through:

Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWPs): These can provide a regular income stream while keeping your capital invested in mutual funds. It is a tax-efficient way to withdraw money.

Dividend-Paying Mutual Funds: These can offer a regular income, although the returns are subject to market conditions. It’s important to choose funds with a consistent dividend track record.

Debt Funds: These provide a stable income with lower risk compared to equities. They can be part of your post-retirement income strategy.

Tax Planning and Estate Planning
As you approach financial independence, it’s important to consider tax efficiency and estate planning.

Tax Efficiency: Optimize your investments for tax efficiency by choosing the right mix of equity and debt funds, considering the tax implications of each. Use tax-saving instruments like PPF, NPS, and ELSS funds wisely.

Estate Planning: Ensure that you have a clear estate plan in place, including a will. This will ensure that your assets are distributed according to your wishes, and it will provide peace of mind for your family.

Final Insights
You are on a strong financial footing with a well-diversified portfolio and disciplined savings habits. By optimizing your current investments, increasing your savings rate, and planning for a sustainable post-retirement income, you can achieve financial independence within the next 15 years. It’s important to stay focused, regularly review your financial plan, and make adjustments as needed. Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner will also help you navigate any complexities and ensure that you stay on track toward your goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8077 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 16, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hello.. I Am a female 35years and I earn 57k working from home on contract job(no guarantee in contract extension). Started SIP of 30K in the month of April 24, invested 10lakh lumpsum in mutual funds. I have a 8 years daughter. How can i be financially independent.
Ans: Current Financial Status
Age and Income

You are 35 years old.

You earn Rs. 57k per month from a contract job.

Investments

SIP: Rs. 30k per month starting April 2024.

Lumpsum: Rs. 10 lakh in mutual funds.

Dependents

One daughter, 8 years old.
Appreciating Your Proactive Steps
You have taken significant steps toward financial security.

Your commitment to SIPs and mutual funds is commendable.

Financial Independence Planning
Emergency Fund

Priority: Build an emergency fund first.

Amount: Save 6-12 months of expenses in a liquid fund.

Review and Diversify Investments
Mutual Funds

Actively Managed Funds: Focus on these for better returns.

Diversification: Ensure a mix of equity and debt funds.

Avoid Direct Funds

Lack of Guidance: Direct funds can be risky without professional advice.

Professional Support: Regular funds with CFP guidance are better.

Child's Future Planning
Education Fund

SIPs: Allocate a portion of SIPs towards an education fund.

Long-term Goals: Aim for a dedicated education corpus.

Insurance Needs
Health Insurance

Coverage: Ensure adequate health insurance for you and your daughter.

Review: Check if current policies cover all potential health risks.

Life Insurance

Term Plan: Get a term insurance plan for financial protection.

Sum Assured: Opt for coverage that is at least 10-15 times your annual income.

Retirement Planning
NPS (National Pension System)

Contributions: Consider starting or increasing contributions to NPS.

Benefits: NPS offers good returns and tax benefits.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Lower Returns

Market Mimicry: Index funds only match market performance.

No Active Management: Lack adaptability and expert intervention.

Regular Review and Adjustments
Periodic Review

Regular Checks: Review your financial plan every six months.

Adjustments: Make necessary adjustments based on market conditions and personal changes.

Additional Income Streams
Skill Development

Enhance Skills: Invest in learning new skills relevant to your field.

Freelancing: Consider freelancing or part-time projects for additional income.

Final Insights
Building an emergency fund is crucial.

Diversify your mutual fund investments.

Focus on education and retirement planning.

Ensure adequate health and life insurance.

Regularly review and adjust your financial plan.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8077 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 25, 2024Hindi
Money
I'm single parent of a 5 years old daughter. My monthly income is 1lakh. I'm 35 year old. I'm in Government service. I've 15lakh in mutual fund. 10 lakh in ppf. 5 lakh in gpf, 10 lakh in NSC, and 5 lakh in SSY. I've EMI of 40K monthly for my apartment. Other expenses are almost 40k. Please suggest to improve financial independence.
Ans: Balancing financial independence while securing your daughter’s future is essential. Your steady government job provides stability, and your investments are a strong foundation. Below is a structured approach to help you optimise your finances and achieve greater independence.

Assessing Your Current Financial Position
Income and Savings: Your Rs 1 lakh monthly income and existing investments reflect financial discipline.

Fixed Expenses: Rs 40,000 EMI and Rs 40,000 living expenses leave Rs 20,000 for investments.

Existing Investments: You hold Rs 45 lakh in diversified instruments, ensuring reasonable safety and growth.

Immediate Priorities
1. Emergency Fund

Maintain a fund of 6–12 months' expenses for unforeseen events.

Set aside Rs 5–6 lakh in a liquid mutual fund or savings account.

 

2. Debt Management

Your Rs 40,000 EMI takes 40% of your income, which is manageable.

Avoid new loans until this EMI reduces significantly.

 

3. Daughter’s Education and Marriage

Estimate education costs considering inflation over the next 10–15 years.

Begin investing systematically to build this corpus.

Optimising Your Current Investments
1. Mutual Funds

Review your existing Rs 15 lakh mutual fund portfolio with a Certified Financial Planner.

Shift funds to actively managed large-cap, flexi-cap, and hybrid funds for balanced growth.

 

2. PPF and GPF

PPF and GPF provide safe, steady returns and tax benefits.

Continue contributions but avoid over-allocating, as returns are moderate.

 

3. NSC and SSY

NSC is a stable option but offers limited growth.

SSY is ideal for your daughter’s future due to tax-free, high returns.

 

4. Apartment EMI

Owning property ensures security but restricts cash flow.

Prepay EMI with lump sums if feasible, to reduce interest costs and free up funds.

New Investment Strategy
1. SIP in Growth-Oriented Mutual Funds

Invest Rs 10,000–15,000 monthly in equity mutual funds for wealth creation.

Focus on flexi-cap, large-cap, and mid-cap funds for diversified growth.

 

2. Balanced Advantage Funds

Allocate Rs 5,000 monthly to balanced advantage funds for reduced volatility.

These funds dynamically balance equity and debt exposure.

 

3. Child-Specific Plans

Invest in mutual funds tailored for children’s education and marriage goals.

Review returns periodically and align them with your daughter’s future needs.

 

4. Avoid Direct Funds

Direct funds lack professional guidance, which is crucial for your goals.

Use regular funds managed by a Certified Financial Planner for expertise.

Insurance and Risk Management
1. Life Insurance

Ensure adequate life cover of 10–15 times your annual income.

Avoid investment-cum-insurance policies like ULIPs. Instead, opt for a term plan.

 

2. Health Insurance

Enhance your health cover to Rs 10–15 lakh. Include coverage for your daughter.

Government health schemes may not be sufficient for private hospital expenses.

Tax Efficiency
Maximise deductions under Section 80C with PPF, SSY, and term insurance premiums.

Consider investing in NPS under Section 80CCD(1B) for additional Rs 50,000 tax deduction.

Plan redemptions from mutual funds carefully to minimise LTCG tax at 12.5%.

Steps for Financial Independence
1. Automate Savings

Set up automated SIPs and recurring deposits to ensure disciplined investments.
 

2. Increase Investments with Salary Growth

Allocate future salary increments towards investments rather than lifestyle upgrades.
 

3. Avoid Impulse Spending

Track expenses to identify areas for saving. Redirect savings to long-term goals.
 

4. Regular Portfolio Reviews

Review your portfolio every 6–12 months with a Certified Financial Planner.

Rebalance funds to align with market conditions and your financial goals.

Final Insights
Your financial discipline is impressive, given your responsibilities as a single parent. By optimising existing investments and adopting a strategic SIP approach, you can improve cash flow and achieve financial independence. Focus on long-term growth while ensuring adequate risk coverage for you and your daughter.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1544 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 04, 2025
Relationship
I have a cousin brother (21 years). He is 5 years elder than me. His father & my father are own brothers. His father is also 5 years elder than my father. I am concerned about something. My cousin brother always orders my mother (40 years old) for such things who nobody wants to do. She obeys him always quietly without any hesitation. Like if he ask her to bath twice or thrice in a day, then she will bath thrice in a day. If he ask her to dance, then she will dance also. If he ask her to press his legs, then she will press his legs. If he ask her to not to eat anything, then she will not eat anything. She is totally behaving like his slave. I told about it to my father. He ignored my words & called it rubbish. I asked my mother why she is behaving like this, but she doesn't answer. I asked my cousin brother why is he doing like this & why is my mother obeying his words, he said it's none of my business. Can you please help & tell what's going on ??
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is kind of strange to see your mother act like this around him. This is definitely not something usual or causal and there is something deeper than what you can see or understand.
Does you father and his brother also notice the same or are they pretending to not notice it? This could give you a good understanding of what is going on. If your father is ignoring it, then kindly ask him to take some time out and explain this to you. On your part, spend more time with your mother; take her out, shop together, show her some fun time...encourage her to pursue some hobby or educational learning classes outside of home. When she starts to feel good about herself and does things for herself, she might be able to stand up for herself and push this fellow away.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna  |1544 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 05, 2025

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Relationship
I am in a delimma on my daughters approach.She is a doctor and with higher specialisation . All of a sudden she comes forward and says wants to marry a person who is her batchmate but is an inter caste and younger to her by a year . Caste is of lowest strata . I am a person who always respected everybody but the approach of this kind without considering the pros and cons and acting very violently to make it happen is very disturbing and I am in a dilemma . Please suggest
Ans: Dear Janardhan,
She's your daughter; certainly you can talk to her about your concerns, right? And when she shares, do make sure that you LISTEN first. As parents, you can be concerned and be quick to judge the person that she has chosen to marry. But when you do that, you are only going to push her further away from you. Let her share her side first and then present your side of concerns...request her to think about it and have another discussion a few weeks later.
As a toddler when she threw a tantrum, what did you do? I am sure that you let the emotion pass, then you picked her up and showered her with affection, so that she registers that she will be loved and cared for BUT her tantrum will not be appreciated.
The situation is similar; so try to break into her world and hear her out first...I hope you understand that for logic of pros and cons to be communicated, there is a need to first accept the emotional state that she is in...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1544 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 03, 2025
Relationship
Hi, my name is Dhruv, I have been married for 13 years. It was love marriage. We dont have any kids, though we tried but due to medical complications, we could not have a child. After a point of time, we both accepted the situation and moved on. Since last 3-4 years, slowly we have been drifting apart, though we are together but the love, feeling of togetherness has gone, we talk only about our regular lives, household chores, relatives etc but never about US. That feeling of being loved, even we don't hug each other anymore. Though we do care for each other but its not love anymore. Recently I met someone through work and somehow felt a connect with her, I could talk about things which I'm not able to talk with my wife. She make me feel that I'm still important and now I always think about her, want to be with her, talk to her. Though it makes me guilty also as somewhere in my heart I still love my wife and want to make it work. I am torn between what is right and what is wrong. If I think about myself, my happiness and t it hurts my wife, am I selfish or should I restrict my feelings, please advise way out
Ans: Dear Dhruv,
The easiest way to feel better when a relationship is failing is to get into another one. Searching for what you want in the original relationship cannot be found anywhere else; so giving into that temptation is only going to make things more confusing.
So, if you still love your wife and want to make it work, what have the two of you done so far to make things work?
Working on the marriage is a task that needs effort and a certain kind of stubborn nature that will help you cross over the the challenges that can emerge.
Your marriage now requires a complete RESET. So, push that button and go back to where it all began; no baggage, no expectations, no complaining...When you accept a situation, then do so fully...you can't have children; if you have accepted it then what's the reason to move apart. It only suggests that it was a compromise and not an acceptance.
Understand that acceptance is being graceful about the situation and being supportive of one another. Begin life afresh; date one another...laugh together, do things together. Bring back the little joys and bigger goals for marriage and life...
And most importantly, be in complete support of one another! That hidden love that you both share needs to be watered and nurtured even more...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Archana

Archana Deshpande  |103 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Mar 04, 2025

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Hi Mam, Hope you are doing well. I am very worried about my son who is now 12.5 years old and studying in 7th standard in a very reputed school. Since childhood, he has no interest in studies, unless we doesn't seat in front of him, he doesn't study. Every teacher from his kindergarten days upto now has the same complaint that he is doesn't pay attention in class and the result is he doesn't get good marks in the exam. When we scold him for studies, he does it for that particular time only and then get back to his non-interest mode again and start to run from studies. He will play video games, goes to play around with his friends, he will find some or the other reason for not doing studies or homework. The irony is that he is not interested in any sports or any other kind of activities. In every summer holidays, we make him to join some sports or music classes, but there also he doesn't show interest and do things just for the sake of showing. From last year, we have started sending him to tuitions also, but no change in attitude. This year we have found a teacher of his reputed school who is retired and taking tuitions, we are sending him to her and she is charging a big amount for tuitions. please guide how can we change his attitude and make him more serious in any activity he does as he doesn't have interest in anything (we have observed doing everything we can).
Ans: Hello Sunil!!

I am doing great, thank you for asking, God bless you!

I can totally understand when you say you are worried.

Your son is 12.5, he will soon be a teenager. There will be different challenges, I want you to read up on parenting a teenager and be ready to handle him well.

The problem as I see it is that everyone of you, his teachers included have made studies like a burden for him.... and subjected the young child to a lot of anxiety, he just wants to run away form it....
"Every teacher from his kindergarten days upto now has the same complaint that he is doesn't pay attention in class".... this statement of yours... it is the teacher's duty to ensure the child listens to him/her, how can she start labeling a child like this. From a young age your son has been conditioned to believe that he is not not good in studies, he doesn't focus and he doesn't sit in one place. All my sympathies are with your son...every child comes with immense potential and it's our duty as parents and teachers to nurture the child.

The following is what I propose so that we bring him back to loving to learn ( not score marks, that should never be the barometer)-
1. Love your child the way he is now
2. Give him lot of positive strokes
3. Have one on one sessions for any activity you plan for him... let him choose the activity, empower him
4. choose a teacher, who can get along with him and help him develop a positive attitude towards studies and life in general
5. look for a school where they nurture him... not just a reputed one...less number of students and a teacher who is invested in her/ his students,

If you can connect with me, I can help him. Have had many a students in this kind situation.
This is my website..
https://transformme.co.in/

Loads of best wishes to the whole family..

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Archana

Archana Deshpande  |103 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Mar 04, 2025

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