Home > Money > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 27, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Sharat Question by Sharat on May 27, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money

Hi, My age is 40, I want to retire by 50 with Rs. 2 Crore of Corplus, Right Now i have Rs. 17 lac in PF, Rs. 5 Lacs in NPS, Rs.1 Lacs in PPF and Home loan Completed this year. I have one LIC policy of Premium of Rs. 24000 Yearly. Now I dont have single saving in my saving account. my monthly expense is 35k. I want to start from Zero. My monthly on hand salary is Rs. 1.5 Lacs and i am ready to take risk for Higher return. please advice in 10 years how i reach to 2 to 3 crore.

Ans: You are 40 years old and aim to retire at 50 with a corpus of Rs. 2 crore. Currently, you have Rs. 17 lakh in PF, Rs. 5 lakh in NPS, Rs. 1 lakh in PPF, and no home loan. Your monthly expenses are Rs. 35,000, and you earn Rs. 1.5 lakh monthly.

Analyzing Your Financial Goals
To achieve a corpus of Rs. 2 crore in 10 years, you need to focus on disciplined savings and investments. Your willingness to take risks for higher returns can be beneficial. Let's break down the steps needed to reach your goal.

Current Investments and Adjustments
Provident Fund (PF):

Your PF will continue to grow. Maintain this investment as it provides a stable and secure return.

National Pension System (NPS):

Your NPS investment is beneficial for retirement. Continue contributing to it for long-term benefits.

Public Provident Fund (PPF):

Your PPF investment is small. Consider increasing contributions if possible, as it provides tax benefits and secure returns.

Life Insurance Corporation (LIC) Policy:

Evaluate the returns on your LIC policy. If the returns are lower than mutual funds, consider surrendering it and reinvesting the amount.

Creating a Comprehensive Investment Plan
Monthly Savings Allocation:

You need to save aggressively. Considering your income and expenses, let's allocate Rs. 70,000 per month to various investment options.

Mutual Funds:

Invest in a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap mutual funds. This diversification can help balance risk and return.

Large-Cap Funds: Rs. 25,000 per month
Mid-Cap Funds: Rs. 20,000 per month
Small-Cap Funds: Rs. 15,000 per month
Equity-Linked Savings Scheme (ELSS):

Invest Rs. 10,000 per month in ELSS for tax benefits under Section 80C.

Utilizing Your Existing Investments
Provident Fund:

Continue your PF contributions. The compounded growth over the next 10 years will significantly add to your corpus.

National Pension System:

Increase your contributions to NPS. This will provide an additional source of retirement income.

Public Provident Fund:

Increase your PPF contributions if possible. The tax-free returns can significantly add to your corpus.

Lump Sum Investment
LIC Policy Surrender:

If you decide to surrender your LIC policy, reinvest the lump sum into mutual funds or a combination of debt and equity funds based on your risk tolerance.

Existing Savings:

Any additional savings or bonuses should be invested in mutual funds or other high-return instruments.

Monitoring and Adjusting the Plan
Regularly review your investment portfolio. Adjust your investments based on market conditions and your financial goals. Rebalancing your portfolio annually can help maintain the desired asset allocation.

Contingency Fund
Maintain a contingency fund equivalent to 6 months of your expenses. This ensures financial stability during emergencies.

Conclusion
Achieving a corpus of Rs. 2 crore in 10 years is feasible with disciplined savings and strategic investments.

Action Plan:

Increase mutual fund investments.
Continue PF and NPS contributions.
Reassess LIC policy and reinvest if necessary.
Regularly review and adjust your portfolio.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
Asked on - May 27, 2024 | Answered on May 27, 2024
Listen
Thank you, Very Much Sir, I have Jeevan Saral Policy starting from 2010 to still now and its mature on September-2023, I have checked and surrender the value comes to Rs. 6 Lacs, overall, i check and confirm only 5 to 6% comes in LIC Policy. Please advise only 5 years remaining for maturity. Also, in My monthly income i can easily save Rs. 1.05 Lacs if consider Rs. 45k Monthly expense. Issue is I am from Market since long 15 years and Right Now Market is very high so its advisable to start a SIP. or invest on safe place like FD & RD. Can I increase NPS contribution Rs. 50 k to Rs. 1.50 LACS or invest in PPF account of Rs. 1.5 Lacs annually and also open a PPF account for daughter. Regards
Ans: Assessing Your Jeevan Saral Policy
It's commendable that you’re evaluating your investments. With only 5 years left on your Jeevan Saral policy, you should consider your options carefully.

Consider Surrendering Your Policy
Surrendering your Jeevan Saral policy now might be beneficial. You mentioned a surrender value of Rs. 6 lakhs, which could be reinvested for potentially higher returns.

Investing in Mutual Funds
Starting a SIP in mutual funds can be a wise choice, even if the market is high. Over the long term, mutual funds generally provide better returns than traditional savings options like FDs and RDs.

Increasing NPS Contribution
Increasing your NPS contribution from Rs. 50,000 to Rs. 1.5 lakhs annually is a good move. It provides tax benefits and helps in building a substantial retirement corpus.

Investing in PPF
Investing Rs. 1.5 lakhs annually in a PPF account is a safe and tax-efficient option. Opening a PPF account for your daughter will also help in securing her future.

Balancing Your Portfolio
Diversify your investments between mutual funds, NPS, and PPF. This balance offers growth potential with safety, meeting both short-term and long-term financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
Money

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 10, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 23, 2024Hindi
Money
Hello sir I'm 37 year old and my monthly salary in hand is 1,000,000. I invested in MF 10000, PF 12500 per month and a lic of 40000 per year... I want to retire in next 10 years with corpus of 5 CR... Could you please suggest some advice... Thank You
Ans: Firstly, kudos on your proactive approach to financial planning. Your goal of retiring with Rs 5 crore in the next 10 years is ambitious, but achievable with a well-structured plan. Given your current investments and high monthly salary, you have a strong foundation to build upon. Let’s dive into how you can optimize your financial strategy to reach your goal.

Current Financial Snapshot
At 37, you have a monthly salary of Rs 1,000,000. Here's a breakdown of your current investments:

Mutual Funds: Rs 10,000 per month
Provident Fund (PF): Rs 12,500 per month
LIC: Rs 40,000 per year
These investments are a good start, but you’ll need to significantly ramp up your savings and investments to meet your Rs 5 crore target in 10 years.

Assessing Your Retirement Goal
Retiring in 10 years with Rs 5 crore requires a strategic and disciplined approach. Let’s analyze your current investment strategy and explore ways to enhance it.

Increasing Mutual Fund Investments
Mutual funds are an excellent vehicle for wealth creation due to their diversification and professional management. Here’s how you can leverage mutual funds more effectively:

Increase SIP Amount: Consider increasing your monthly SIP amount. Investing Rs 10,000 is a good start, but you might want to aim higher.

Diversify Across Categories: Invest in a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds. This helps balance risk and return.

Regular Monitoring: Keep track of your mutual fund performance and make adjustments as needed.

Actively Managed Funds: Opt for actively managed funds. These funds, guided by expert fund managers, often outperform the market.

Maximizing PF Contributions
The Provident Fund is a secure investment with tax benefits. However, its returns might not be sufficient to meet your aggressive target. Here’s what you can do:

Continue Contributions: Keep contributing Rs 12,500 monthly to your PF. This ensures a stable, risk-free component in your portfolio.

Supplement with Other Investments: Given your high salary, consider supplementing your PF with other high-yield investments.

Reassessing LIC Policies
Life insurance is crucial, but traditional LIC policies might not offer the best returns. Consider the following:

Evaluate Performance: Review the returns on your LIC policy. If they are not satisfactory, consider surrendering the policy.

Term Insurance: Ensure you have adequate term insurance for financial security. Term plans offer high coverage at lower premiums.

Reinvest Savings: Reinvest the savings from surrendering LIC in higher-yielding options like mutual funds.

Enhancing Overall Investment Strategy
To reach Rs 5 crore in 10 years, you need a comprehensive investment strategy. Here’s how to optimize your approach:

Goal-Based Planning: Align your investments with your retirement goal. This provides a clear direction for your portfolio.

Increase Savings Rate: Given your high salary, aim to save and invest a significant portion of your income. Increasing your monthly investments will accelerate your wealth accumulation.

Diversification: Spread your investments across different asset classes to balance risk and return.

Power of Compounding: Stay invested for the long term to benefit from compounding. Reinvest returns to maximize growth.

Exploring Additional Investment Avenues
Apart from mutual funds and PF, consider the following investment options to boost your portfolio:

Equity Investments: Directly investing in stocks can offer high returns. However, it comes with higher risks. Consider this if you have a good understanding of the stock market.

Debt Funds: These funds provide stable returns and lower risk compared to equities. They can be a good addition for balancing your portfolio.

Balanced Funds: These funds invest in a mix of equity and debt, offering a balanced risk-return profile.

Regular Reviews and Adjustments
Financial planning is an ongoing process. Here’s how to stay on track:

Annual Reviews: Conduct annual reviews of your portfolio to ensure it aligns with your goals.

Adjust as Needed: Be prepared to make adjustments based on market conditions and your financial situation.

Consult a CFP: Work with a Certified Financial Planner to get professional advice tailored to your needs.

Managing Risk
Understanding and managing risk is crucial for your investment strategy. Here’s how to balance risk and return:

Risk Appetite: Assess your risk appetite. Given your goal and time horizon, a moderate to aggressive approach might be suitable.

Asset Allocation: Maintain a diversified asset allocation. Increase equity exposure for higher returns, and balance it with debt and other safer investments.

Market Trends: Stay informed about market trends and economic indicators to make informed decisions.

Power of Compounding
Compounding is a powerful tool for wealth creation. Here’s how to harness it effectively:

Consistent Investing: Regular investments, such as SIPs, harness the power of compounding.

Reinvestment: Reinvest dividends and interest to maximize growth.

Long-Term Perspective: Stay invested for the long term to benefit from the compounding effect.

Leveraging Tax Benefits
Tax-efficient investing can enhance your returns. Here’s how to optimize tax benefits:

Section 80C: Maximize your investments under Section 80C, including PF, PPF, and ELSS mutual funds.

NPS Tax Benefits: NPS offers additional tax benefits under Section 80CCD(1B). Consider this for further tax savings.

Tax-Efficient Funds: Invest in tax-efficient mutual funds to optimize your returns.

Final Insights
Your goal of accumulating Rs 5 crore in 10 years is ambitious but achievable with a disciplined and strategic approach. Increase your investments, diversify across asset classes, and leverage the power of compounding. Regular reviews and professional guidance will keep you on track. Stay focused and proactive in managing your investments to reach your retirement goal.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 10, 2024

Money
Hi Sir I am 43 years old. I am having mthly 1 lac Salary. Currently I invest 20k in MF every mth, 50K in NPS, 1 Lac in PPF, 50K in LIC. Having FD of 20 lac and 10 lac each in ICICI Pru and Max insurance. On retirement i should have 10 crore. Let me know what extra need to be done to achieve the goal
Ans: It's great to see you actively investing and planning for your future. Your current investments in mutual funds, NPS, PPF, LIC, and FDs are commendable. With a monthly salary of Rs 1 lakh, your goal of achieving Rs 10 crore by retirement is ambitious but achievable with a strategic approach. Let's dive into a detailed plan to help you reach your target.

Current Financial Overview
At 43, you have a solid foundation with various investments. Here’s a breakdown of your current investments:

Mutual Funds: Rs 20,000 per month
NPS: Rs 50,000 per month
PPF: Rs 1 lakh annually
LIC: Rs 50,000 annually
Fixed Deposits: Rs 20 lakhs
ICICI Pru and Max Insurance: Rs 10 lakhs each
These investments are diversified across different asset classes, which is a good strategy for risk management and growth. Now, let’s explore how to optimize and enhance your portfolio.

Assessing Your Goals
Your target is to accumulate Rs 10 crore by retirement. Given your age, you have approximately 17 years until the typical retirement age of 60. To achieve this goal, you need to focus on maximizing returns while managing risks effectively.

Enhancing Mutual Fund Investments
Mutual funds are a powerful tool for wealth creation due to their diversification and professional management. Here’s how you can optimize your mutual fund investments:

Increase SIP Amount: Consider increasing your SIP amount gradually. Investing more in mutual funds can significantly enhance your corpus over time.

Diversify Across Categories: Invest in a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds. This diversification helps balance risk and return.

Regular Monitoring: Keep track of the performance of your mutual funds. Regular reviews ensure your portfolio aligns with your goals.

Actively Managed Funds: Focus on actively managed funds rather than index funds. Actively managed funds, guided by expert fund managers, often outperform in various market conditions.

Avoid Direct Funds: Investing through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) ensures professional guidance and better fund selection.

Maximizing NPS Contributions
The National Pension System (NPS) is a great retirement planning tool due to its tax benefits and market-linked returns. Here’s how to make the most of your NPS contributions:

Review Asset Allocation: NPS allows you to choose your asset allocation between equity, corporate bonds, and government securities. Opt for a higher equity exposure to maximize returns.

Regular Rebalancing: Periodically rebalance your NPS portfolio to maintain your desired asset allocation.

Tier II Account: Consider opening an NPS Tier II account for additional flexibility and liquidity.

Optimizing PPF Investments
The Public Provident Fund (PPF) is a safe, long-term investment with tax benefits. Here’s how to optimize your PPF contributions:

Maximize Contributions: Continue contributing the maximum limit of Rs 1.5 lakh annually to take full advantage of the tax benefits and compound interest.

Timing Contributions: Invest in PPF at the beginning of the financial year to maximize interest accrual.

Evaluating LIC and Insurance Policies
Life insurance is essential for financial security. However, investment-cum-insurance policies like LIC, ICICI Pru, and Max Insurance may not offer optimal returns. Consider the following:

Surrender Non-Performing Policies: If the returns from these policies are not satisfactory, consider surrendering them and reinvesting in higher-yielding options like mutual funds.

Term Insurance: Ensure you have adequate term insurance coverage. Term plans offer high coverage at lower premiums compared to investment-linked insurance.

Leveraging Fixed Deposits
Fixed deposits offer safety and guaranteed returns. However, they may not keep pace with inflation over the long term. Here’s how to use FDs effectively:

Emergency Fund: Maintain a portion of your FDs as an emergency fund. This ensures liquidity for unexpected expenses.

Reallocate Funds: Consider reallocating some FDs to equity and debt mutual funds for better long-term growth.

Creating a Comprehensive Investment Strategy
To achieve your Rs 10 crore goal, you need a well-rounded investment strategy. Here are key steps:

Goal-Based Planning: Align your investments with specific goals, including retirement. This provides a clear direction for your portfolio.

Diversification: Diversify across asset classes and within each class to balance risk and return.

Regular Reviews: Conduct periodic reviews with your CFP to ensure your investments remain on track.

Risk Management: Adjust your asset allocation as you near retirement to reduce exposure to high-risk assets.

Power of Compounding: Stay invested for the long term to benefit from compounding. Reinvest returns to accelerate growth.

The Power of Compounding
Compounding is a powerful wealth-building tool. By reinvesting your returns, you earn returns on your initial investment and the accumulated returns. This snowball effect can significantly enhance your wealth over time. Here’s how to harness the power of compounding:

Start Early: The earlier you start investing, the more time your money has to grow.

Consistent Investing: Regular investments, such as SIPs, harness compounding effectively.

Reinvestment: Reinvest dividends and interest to maximize growth.

Assessing Your Risk Appetite
Understanding your risk appetite is crucial for investment planning. Given your goal and time horizon, a moderate to aggressive approach may be suitable. Here’s how to balance risk and return:

Equity Exposure: Increase equity exposure for higher returns. As you near retirement, gradually shift to safer assets.

Debt Allocation: Maintain a portion in debt funds for stability and regular income.

Regular Monitoring: Stay informed about market trends and adjust your portfolio as needed.

Staying Informed and Engaged
Financial markets are dynamic, and staying informed is key to successful investing. Here are some tips:

Education: Continuously educate yourself about financial markets and investment strategies.

Professional Guidance: Work with a CFP for expert advice and personalized planning.

Market Trends: Keep an eye on market trends and economic indicators to make informed decisions.

Final Insights
Your current investment strategy is a strong foundation. To achieve your Rs 10 crore goal, focus on optimizing your investments, increasing contributions, and leveraging the power of compounding. Regular reviews and adjustments with your CFP will ensure you stay on track. Remember, the journey to financial independence is ongoing. Stay proactive, informed, and disciplined to achieve your retirement goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6991 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 31, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 30, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
I'm 45, earning 2.5L per month, debt free,married 2 kids, son studying 11standard and daughter 7th standard. My monthly expenses comes to 65000 per month currently, rest all saved and invested. I own 2C worth villa in city, a sedan, no credit card debt. I have 60L savings in account, 2.6L in LIC annuity life long giving Rs.1400 interest/month, 12L in PPF, 6L in Postoffice Savings SST, 1L in NPS, 11L ICICI signature plan need to pay 5L every year for next 5 years(18% returns), 1L PRAN, 5L worth gold-silver coins, 45L in fixed deposits in mom and wife names in many different small finance banks earning monthly interest(8.5-9%), 46L in my EPF. I want to plan to retire by 50 with life span of 75 with with 80L for 2 kids higher studies with atleast 5CR+ total corpus as goal. Kindly advice and guide me how to achieve it with moderate risk apetite..
Ans: Current Financial Situation
Age: 45 years
Monthly Income: Rs. 2.5 lakhs
Monthly Expenses: Rs. 65,000
Family: Married with 2 kids (son in 11th standard, daughter in 7th standard)
Assets: 2 crore worth villa, a sedan, no credit card debt
Savings and Investments:
Rs. 60 lakhs in savings account
Rs. 2.6 lakhs in LIC annuity giving Rs. 1400 interest/month
Rs. 12 lakhs in PPF
Rs. 6 lakhs in Post Office Savings SST
Rs. 1 lakh in NPS
Rs. 11 lakhs in ICICI Signature Plan (need to pay Rs. 5 lakhs every year for next 5 years)
Rs. 1 lakh in PRAN
Rs. 5 lakhs worth of gold-silver coins
Rs. 45 lakhs in fixed deposits in mom and wife’s names
Rs. 46 lakhs in EPF
Retirement Goals
Retirement Age: 50 years
Life Expectancy: 75 years
Kids' Higher Education: Rs. 80 lakhs
Total Corpus Goal: Rs. 5+ crores
Investment Strategy
Evaluate Current Investments
1. Savings Account and Fixed Deposits

Observation: Low returns (3-4% in savings, 8.5-9% in FDs).
Action: Consider shifting some funds to higher-yield investments.
2. LIC Annuity and ICICI Signature Plan

Observation: LIC annuity provides minimal returns. ICICI Signature Plan promises 18% but verify actual returns.
Action: Assess ICICI plan's performance. Shift LIC annuity to higher-yield funds if possible.
3. PPF, NPS, and Post Office Savings

Observation: Safe investments but with moderate returns.
Action: Continue PPF and NPS contributions for tax benefits and retirement corpus.
Optimize Investments
1. Increase SIP in Mutual Funds

Strategy: Diversify across large, mid, and small-cap funds. Aim for balanced risk and growth.
Monthly SIP: Consider increasing to Rs. 1 lakh or more for the next 5 years.
2. Diversify Portfolio

Strategy: Include equity mutual funds, balanced funds, and debt funds.
Moderate Risk: Balance between growth and safety.
3. Invest in Children's Education Funds

Action: Allocate Rs. 80 lakhs in equity mutual funds or balanced funds.
Goal: Ensure sufficient funds for kids' higher education.
Retirement Corpus Planning
1. Projected Returns

Strategy: Aim for a mix of equity and debt for optimal returns.
Projection: Assume 10-12% average returns over 5 years.
2. Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)

Action: Post-retirement, use SWP for monthly expenses.
Goal: Ensure regular income without depleting corpus rapidly.
Tax Planning
1. Maximize Deductions

Section 80C: Utilize Rs. 1.5 lakhs limit through PPF, ELSS, and other investments.
Section 80CCD(1B): Additional Rs. 50,000 through NPS.
2. Optimize Tax-Efficient Investments

Tax-Free Returns: Focus on PPF, NPS, and long-term capital gains on equity funds.
Tax-Efficient Withdrawals: Plan withdrawals to minimize tax impact.
Insurance Coverage
1. Adequate Life Insurance

Action: Ensure adequate life cover for family’s security.
Consider: Term insurance for high coverage at low cost.
2. Health Insurance

Action: Comprehensive health coverage for family.
Goal: Avoid financial strain due to medical emergencies.
Regular Monitoring and Review
1. Annual Review

Action: Review investments annually.
Goal: Adjust based on performance and goals.
2. Financial Advisor Consultation

Certified Financial Planner: Seek periodic advice for professional guidance.
Final Insights
With careful planning, achieving a corpus of Rs. 5 crores by 50 is feasible. Prioritize investments in equity mutual funds for growth, while balancing with safe instruments like PPF and NPS. Regularly review and adjust your portfolio. Ensure adequate insurance coverage for risk management.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1287 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi Anu Mam Im 27 yrs old ( married) and 10 yrs old daughter. Im seperated from my husband since 2 yrs due to several reasons like he is drinking and Totally addicted to it. And he is totally dependent and now today also roaming on the roads of some streets of hyd. I belongs to an orthdox family. Now the question is one backward caste man who is married age : 33 he is interested in me and proposed me to a marriage after knowing all my past and saying that he accepts my child too. And the thing is he said a lie to me at first that he is unmarried and even though i had a good impression on him about the way he behaves with me he even treat me in a very polite manner. He says he loves me even though i too had a good impression but the things are the castes and can we both settle down with a marriage can we be happy or he is only trying to convince me to get him a wife to care care of him or only for his parents, he always talks about his own sister and also the office colleagues calls them sister and get emotional about them those who left the office. And he cries a lot which i dont trust on him and the face i see him that was not an real cry that looks like an act which i dont like in him. May he is acting ? Or really loving me, ge cares alot i feel like he is over reacting
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you are in doubt, then it's highly likely that he is putting on an act. Go with your intuition and hey hey, you said that he is married and so are you...You do realize that you just can't go ahead and marry while you are already to other people, right?
Focus on what's happening in your life; you obviously have to do something about it...Other relationships can wait!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1287 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 06, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello Ms Anu, I am a 42yr female..married since 14 yrs and have 10yr old son . I am highly qualified and financially independent. My marriage was a arranged one.. but in these 14 yrs.. I never experienced love or and attachment from my husband's side. He is a family man.. there is no other woman involved..He loves his parents and his two sisters immensely... but always treats me as a option. I feel humiliated and lonely and he has short temper when i talk about this issue... so basically I don't discuss... but that is no solution... I am suffering and unhappy. What should I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
A few married men can be more focused on the women on their side of the family; it becomes easy to express love, care and attention to them as he has grown with them.
A wife happens to be someone that he is yet to understand. It requires effort to make a marriage work; your husband finds it convenient to take the easy way out and 'hang out' with his family.
So, here you take the lead and start. Start not by bringing forth your complaints as this is going to push him further to them which is going to annoy you BUT by inviting him to be with you. A lot of work, I get it...but the bottom line: that's what you want, right?
Plan dates evenings, take short vacations together, work-out together...the key is to establish a connection which never had its chance in the first place...So, give your best shot! Most times actions speak louder than words ever can...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x