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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7014 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 18, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Vinayak Question by Vinayak on Jun 08, 2024Hindi
Money

I am 31 yrs old male. Current portfolio. 6.5 L in stocks. 15 k per month in MF from last 3 years. 4.8 L PF 20 L Current account balance. 50 L lic policy due on 2032. 3 houses ( 1 home loan is Currently running ) 1 small shop. 6 acres of land at native place. I want to get retired at the age of 45 with 3 crores cash in hand. How can i achieve this pls guide ? Where should i invest more.

Ans: Achieving Financial Independence: A Comprehensive Plan

Current Financial Position
You have a diverse portfolio, which is commendable. Here is a summary:

Rs 6.5 lakh in stocks.
Rs 15,000 per month in mutual funds for the last 3 years.
Rs 4.8 lakh in Provident Fund (PF).
Rs 20 lakh in your current account.
Rs 50 lakh LIC policy maturing in 2032.
Three houses, with one home loan ongoing.
One small shop.
Six acres of land at your native place.
Your goal is to retire at 45 with Rs 3 crore in cash. Let’s break down how you can achieve this.

Analyzing Your Current Investments
Stock Investments
Your Rs 6.5 lakh in stocks indicates a risk appetite, which is positive for growth. However, ensure your portfolio is well-diversified across sectors to mitigate risks. Regularly review your stock investments to stay aligned with market trends and performance.

Mutual Funds
Investing Rs 15,000 monthly in mutual funds for the last three years is a good strategy. Diversification here is key too. Actively managed funds often outperform index funds due to professional management. Ensure your mutual funds are actively managed by seasoned professionals who can make strategic decisions based on market conditions.

Provident Fund (PF)
Your Rs 4.8 lakh in PF is a stable, long-term investment. Continue contributing to this as it provides a safe and secure return. It also benefits from tax advantages, enhancing your overall returns.

Current Account Balance
Your Rs 20 lakh in a current account is too large an amount to sit idle. Consider deploying this into higher-yield investments. A portion can go into mutual funds or a fixed deposit for better returns.

LIC Policy
Your Rs 50 lakh LIC policy maturing in 2032 provides a safety net. However, consider the returns this policy will generate. Traditional LIC policies often offer lower returns compared to market-linked instruments. Evaluate if this policy aligns with your financial goals.

Real Estate Holdings
Owning three houses, a shop, and six acres of land indicates significant real estate investment. Real estate can be illiquid and may not provide the immediate liquidity needed upon retirement. Assess the rental income potential and the appreciation prospects of these properties.

Strategic Recommendations
Rebalance Your Portfolio
To achieve your goal of Rs 3 crore by 45, rebalancing your portfolio is crucial. Diversify across different asset classes, focusing on growth and liquidity.

Increase Mutual Fund Investments
Increase your monthly mutual fund investments. Actively managed funds provide better returns due to professional expertise. By increasing your SIP amount, you leverage the power of compounding over the remaining years till retirement.

Utilize Idle Funds
Deploy your current account balance into higher-yield investments. A combination of mutual funds, fixed deposits, and other market-linked instruments can provide better returns than letting the money sit idle.

Review and Possibly Surrender LIC Policy
Review the performance and returns of your LIC policy. If it’s underperforming, consider surrendering and reinvesting the proceeds into higher-yield mutual funds. This can significantly enhance your corpus by the time you retire.

Optimize Real Estate Investments
Evaluate the rental income from your properties. If the returns are low, consider selling one or more properties to reinvest in more liquid and higher-yield investments. Focus on investments that align with your goal of achieving Rs 3 crore.

Focus on Asset Allocation
Maintain a balanced asset allocation strategy. A mix of equities, debt, and other financial instruments will provide stability and growth. Regularly review and adjust your asset allocation based on market conditions and your financial goals.

Steps to Enhance Returns
Regular Portfolio Review
Conduct regular reviews of your portfolio. Assess the performance of each investment and make necessary adjustments. Staying updated with market trends and performance is crucial for optimizing returns.

Professional Guidance
Consult a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to get tailored advice. A CFP can provide insights into market conditions and suggest strategies aligned with your financial goals. Professional guidance ensures that your investments are well-managed and optimized for growth.

Risk Management
Ensure that your portfolio is well-diversified to manage risks. Avoid over-concentration in any single asset class. Diversification across equities, debt, and other instruments will provide a balanced approach to risk and return.

Tax Efficiency
Consider the tax implications of your investments. Utilize tax-advantaged instruments to enhance your post-tax returns. Tax-efficient investing will ensure that more of your returns stay with you, contributing to your overall financial goal.

Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund to cover unforeseen expenses. This fund should be liquid and easily accessible. An emergency fund provides financial security without having to liquidate your long-term investments prematurely.

Achieving Rs 3 Crore Goal
Calculate Required Savings
To achieve Rs 3 crore in the next 14 years, calculate the required monthly savings. Utilize the power of compounding by increasing your monthly SIPs and other investments. The earlier you start, the better the compounding effect on your investments.

Optimize Returns
Focus on investments that offer higher returns over the long term. Equity mutual funds, especially actively managed ones, can provide significant growth. Avoid low-yield instruments and focus on those that align with your risk profile and financial goals.

Strategic Withdrawals
Plan for strategic withdrawals from your investments as you approach retirement. This ensures liquidity and availability of funds when needed. Structured withdrawals will help manage your finances smoothly post-retirement.

Financial Discipline
Maintain financial discipline by sticking to your investment plan. Avoid unnecessary withdrawals and ensure regular contributions to your investments. Consistent investing and financial discipline are key to achieving your retirement goal.

Regular Updates
Stay updated with financial news and market trends. This knowledge will help you make informed decisions about your investments. Regular updates ensure that your investment strategy remains relevant and effective.

Monitoring Progress
Track Investment Performance
Regularly track the performance of your investments. Use financial tools and apps to monitor and evaluate the growth of your portfolio. Tracking helps in identifying underperforming assets and making timely adjustments.

Adjust Strategy as Needed
Be flexible with your investment strategy. If market conditions change, be prepared to adjust your strategy. Flexibility ensures that your investments remain aligned with your financial goals.

Seek Expert Advice
Don’t hesitate to seek advice from a CFP for any significant financial decisions. Expert advice can provide clarity and direction, ensuring your financial plan stays on track. Professional guidance is invaluable in achieving your financial goals.

Final Insights
Reaching your goal of Rs 3 crore by the age of 45 is achievable with a strategic and disciplined approach. Focus on optimizing your current investments, increasing contributions to high-growth instruments, and maintaining a balanced portfolio. Regular reviews and professional guidance will keep you on track. Remember, consistency and informed decision-making are key to financial success.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7014 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 20, 2024

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Sir i am 27 yrs old unmarried .i have 35L in FD 10L in ppf 15L in mutual fund 20L in stocks 5L in SGB . I have an annually income of 30L i want to retire by 40 i have brought a term insurance and health insurer. Can help me plan how to invest further and achieve my goal .Karthik banglore
Ans: Hello Karthik,

Firstly, congratulations on being proactive about planning for your retirement at such a young age. Let's delve into crafting a strategic financial plan to help you achieve your goal of retiring by the age of 40, with a focus on mutual funds (MFs) as a key component of your investment strategy.

Current Financial Position
Your current financial standing reflects a commendable level of savings and investments, providing a solid foundation for your retirement aspirations. Let's review your existing assets:

FDs, PPF, and SGB: These traditional investment avenues offer stability and security, but they might not maximize long-term growth potential.

Mutual Funds and Stocks: Investing in equities and mutual funds demonstrates your willingness to explore avenues with higher growth potential, albeit with associated market risks.

Retirement Planning Strategy
Given your ambitious retirement goal, here's a tailored approach to further optimize your investments, focusing more on mutual funds:

Asset Allocation Review:

Evaluate your current asset allocation to ensure alignment with your retirement timeline and risk tolerance. Consider reallocating a portion of your conservative investments (FDs, PPF) towards equity mutual funds for higher growth potential over the long term.
Diversification with Mutual Funds:

Explore a diversified portfolio of mutual funds across different categories:
Large-Cap Funds: These funds invest in large, well-established companies with stable performance. They offer relatively lower risk compared to mid-cap and small-cap funds.
Mid-Cap and Small-Cap Funds: These funds focus on mid-sized and small-sized companies with higher growth potential but also higher volatility. Allocate a portion of your portfolio to these funds for capital appreciation.
Flexi Cap Funds: These funds provide flexibility to invest across market capitalizations based on prevailing market conditions. They offer a balanced approach between growth and stability.
ELSS Funds: Consider investing in Equity Linked Savings Schemes (ELSS) to avail tax benefits under Section 80C of the Income Tax Act, while also benefiting from potential capital appreciation.
Regular Portfolio Monitoring:

Implement a disciplined approach to monitor and rebalance your MF portfolio periodically. Review fund performance, expense ratios, and fund manager track records to ensure they align with your investment objectives.
Systematic Investment Plan (SIP):

Utilize SIPs to invest systematically in mutual funds, enabling rupee-cost averaging and mitigating the impact of market volatility over time. Allocate your monthly investment amount across various MF categories based on your risk profile and investment horizon.
Tax Planning:

Optimize your tax efficiency by leveraging tax-saving mutual fund options such as ELSS funds. Maximize contributions to tax-deferred accounts like ELSS to reduce your taxable income and enhance overall savings.
Conclusion
In conclusion, by adopting a proactive and strategic approach to your financial planning, with a focus on mutual funds, you're well-positioned to achieve your goal of retiring by the age of 40. Continuously assess and adjust your MF portfolio to align with evolving market conditions and personal financial objectives. Remember, early retirement requires diligent planning and disciplined execution, but with careful guidance and prudent decision-making, you're on the right track to realizing your retirement dreams.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7014 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 03, 2024Hindi
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Money
Sir. I am 45 currently with gross income of Rs 2.5 lakhs and take home.salary of rs 1.70 lakhs. I want to retire at 60 with monthly income of rs 2.5 lakhs. Kindly advice how much and where to invest to achieve my goals
Ans: Evaluating Your Retirement Goal
Your goal to retire at 60 with a monthly income of Rs 2.5 lakhs is ambitious and achievable with proper planning. Let's break down the steps to achieve this goal.

Current Financial Position
Gross Income: Rs 2.5 lakhs per month.

Take Home Salary: Rs 1.70 lakhs per month.

You have 15 years until retirement. Time is your biggest asset in building a substantial retirement corpus.

Estimating Retirement Corpus
Desired Monthly Income Post-Retirement: Rs 2.5 lakhs.

Annual Requirement: Rs 2.5 lakhs * 12 = Rs 30 lakhs.

Inflation Adjustment: Assuming an average inflation rate of 6%, the future value of Rs 30 lakhs in 15 years would be approximately Rs 72 lakhs annually.

Retirement Corpus Calculation: To generate Rs 72 lakhs annually, assuming a safe withdrawal rate of 4%, you will need a corpus of approximately Rs 18 crores.

Investment Strategy
1. Determine Monthly Savings:

Based on your current income and expenses, determine how much you can save and invest each month. Ideally, aim to save and invest at least 30-40% of your take-home salary.

2. Diversified Portfolio:

Invest in a diversified portfolio of mutual funds, stocks, and fixed income instruments. This balances risk and growth.

Investment Options and Allocation
Equity Mutual Funds:

Growth Potential: High returns over the long term.
Risk: High volatility, but suitable for a 15-year horizon.
Allocation: Allocate around 60-70% of your savings here.
Debt Mutual Funds:

Stability: Lower risk and stable returns.
Purpose: Balances the portfolio and provides safety.
Allocation: Allocate around 20-30% here.
Public Provident Fund (PPF):

Safety: Government-backed and risk-free.
Tax Benefits: Offers tax-free returns.
Allocation: Consider contributing up to the maximum limit.
Systematic Investment Plan (SIP):

Regular Investment: Invest a fixed amount monthly in mutual funds.
Rupee Cost Averaging: Reduces the impact of market volatility.
Calculating Monthly Investment
Future Value Calculation:

To reach Rs 18 crores in 15 years, calculate the monthly investment required. Assuming an average annual return of 12% from your investments:
FV = Future Value (Rs 18 crores)
PV = Present Value (monthly investment)
r = monthly return (1% for 12% annual)
n = number of months (180 months for 15 years)
Using financial formulas or a retirement calculator can provide precise figures. However, a rough estimate suggests investing approximately Rs 1 lakh per month.

Steps to Implement the Plan
1. Automate Savings:

Set up automatic transfers to your investment accounts. This ensures disciplined saving and investing.

2. Regular Review:

Review and adjust your investment portfolio annually. Ensure it aligns with your goals and risk tolerance.

3. Emergency Fund:

Maintain an emergency fund covering at least 6-12 months of expenses. This ensures you don't dip into your retirement savings for emergencies.

4. Health Insurance:

Ensure adequate health insurance coverage. Medical expenses can be a significant burden in retirement.

Benefits of Investing through MFD
Professional Guidance:

Certified financial planners and MFDs provide expert advice on fund selection and investment strategies.

Regular Monitoring:

MFDs regularly monitor and review your portfolio, ensuring it remains aligned with your goals.

Tax Efficiency:

Professionals help in structuring your investments to maximize tax benefits.

Conclusion
With a disciplined investment strategy and regular review, achieving your retirement goal is feasible.

Invest in a diversified portfolio, automate savings, and consult with a certified financial planner for personalized advice.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7014 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 24, 2024Hindi
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I am 26 years old and i work in an IT company . My monthly salary is 1 lakh as of now .I have 4.4 lakh in mutual fund , 2.4 lakh in PF , 1.67 lakh in PPF and 2.5 lakh of shares . I need to retire around the age of 40 which is 14 years from now with a corpus of 3-4 cr . Please advice me how should i invest so i reach that amount.
Ans: You are 26 years old and work in an IT company.

Your monthly salary is Rs. 1 lakh.

You want to retire at 40, 14 years from now, with a corpus of Rs. 3-4 crores.

Current Financial Situation

You have Rs. 4.4 lakhs in mutual funds.

You have Rs. 2.4 lakhs in PF.

You have Rs. 1.67 lakhs in PPF.

You have Rs. 2.5 lakhs in shares.

Setting a Realistic Plan

To reach Rs. 3-4 crores in 14 years, disciplined investing is key.

Assuming a mix of equity and debt investments.

Monthly Savings and Investments

Save and invest a significant portion of your salary.

Aim to invest 30-40% of your salary monthly.

This means investing Rs. 30,000 to Rs. 40,000 each month.

Choosing the Right Investments

Equity Mutual Funds

Equity funds offer high growth potential.

Consider large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds.

Allocate around 60-70% of your investments here.

Hybrid Mutual Funds

Hybrid funds balance risk and reward.

They invest in both equity and debt.

Allocate around 20-30% of your investments here.

Debt Mutual Funds

Debt funds provide stability and regular income.

Allocate around 10-20% of your investments here.

Avoiding Index Funds

Index funds track the market passively.

They lack active management and can limit returns.

Actively managed funds can outperform index funds.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds

Direct funds may seem cheaper but need expertise.

Regular funds, through a Certified Financial Planner, offer professional management.

They provide personalized advice and ongoing support.

Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs)

Use SIPs for disciplined investing.

Invest a fixed amount regularly to average out market volatility.

Diversify Investments

Diversify your portfolio to reduce risk.

Include a mix of equity, hybrid, and debt funds.

Tax Efficiency

Equity mutual funds are tax-efficient for long-term gains.

Consider tax-saving funds under Section 80C for additional benefits.

Regular Review and Adjustment

Review your portfolio regularly.

Adjust allocations based on performance and goals.

Seek advice from a Certified Financial Planner for tailored strategies.

Final Insights

To achieve your goal of Rs. 3-4 crores, disciplined saving and investing are crucial.

A mix of equity, hybrid, and debt funds can balance growth and stability.

Regular reviews and professional advice will help you stay on track.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7014 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 07, 2024

Money
My investment as of now 2 Girls SSY with 16 lakh and 9 lakh depositing very year 3 lakh combined for both daughters. NPS 1.5 lakh with 50 K per year . PF 44Lakh with 10 K additional deduction per month. Mutual fund 40 Lakh with 80 K per month. Shars 11.5 Lakh . NSC of 12 Lakh re investing every 5 years. want to retire at 46 right now age 40 per month salary in hand 1.65 lakh is 8 CR enough as I own my house. what should i do more to have 8 CR at the age of 46 means in another 6 to 7 years. daughters age 8 years and 4 years . Family of 4
Ans: You have diligently built a robust portfolio and taken critical steps to secure your family’s future. Your investments across the Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY), NPS, Provident Fund, mutual funds, and stocks showcase a well-rounded approach to growth and stability.

Your goal is to accumulate Rs. 8 crore by age 46, which is 6-7 years away. Let’s examine your current allocations and recommend strategies to help you achieve your target with minimum risk while ensuring long-term growth for your family.

1. Review of Current Investments

Your investments reflect a thoughtful approach across different instruments. Here’s an overview of their potential impact:

Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY): With Rs. 16 lakh and Rs. 9 lakh invested for your daughters, contributing Rs. 3 lakh annually is ideal for long-term growth. The SSY interest rate is attractive, offering good returns that can cover educational expenses.

National Pension System (NPS): A yearly investment of Rs. 50,000 in NPS provides moderate growth. However, note that NPS is primarily for retirement benefits, with partial liquidity before 60.

Provident Fund (PF): Your PF of Rs. 44 lakh and Rs. 10,000 monthly addition offers stability. PF rates are generally higher than most fixed-income products, making it a great retirement vehicle.

Mutual Funds: Investing Rs. 40 lakh in mutual funds with an Rs. 80,000 monthly SIP indicates a strong equity focus. This will support higher returns in the long term, aiding in reaching your corpus goal.

Stocks: A portfolio of Rs. 11.5 lakh in direct stocks adds diversification. Continue monitoring these holdings for optimal growth.

National Savings Certificate (NSC): Your Rs. 12 lakh in NSC, reinvested every five years, offers secure returns, though generally lower than equity. NSC is a good component for capital preservation.

2. Retirement Corpus Analysis

To achieve Rs. 8 crore in 6-7 years, let’s consider a balanced growth-focused approach. Your current portfolio value and ongoing contributions provide a solid base. Given a mix of equity, fixed income, and SSY, your potential to reach Rs. 8 crore looks realistic, provided market returns align favorably over time.

Suggested Strategy Adjustments:

Increase SIPs marginally for mutual funds over the next few years. A 10-15% SIP increment can significantly compound your wealth by your target age.

Evaluate your stock portfolio periodically. Aim for quality growth-oriented stocks and avoid high-risk or speculative investments to preserve capital.

3. Enhancing Your Portfolio Strategy

A clear roadmap to enhance growth while managing risk is essential. Here’s a refined strategy for your goal of Rs. 8 crore:

Mutual Funds: Continue prioritizing actively managed funds over index funds. Actively managed funds allow better control over market volatility and have the potential to outperform. Consider increasing your SIP in diversified funds and explore funds that focus on mid- and large-cap equities for stable returns. Avoid direct funds; regular funds through an MFD with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) provide valuable guidance, optimizing returns with tailored investment insights.

National Savings Certificate (NSC): Consider NSC as a fixed-income backup. Given its low return rate, prioritize reinvestment only if its returns remain competitive against alternative fixed-income options.

National Pension System (NPS): NPS will add value post-retirement, but it lacks liquidity before retirement age. While your annual Rs. 50,000 investment benefits from tax deductions, avoid further increasing it as it will not contribute to your 6-7 year goal.

4. Tax Efficiency and Portfolio Rebalancing

With long-term capital gains (LTCG) on equity mutual funds and short-term gains taxed at 20%, consider:

Setting a long-term strategy to avoid frequent transactions. This will minimize LTCG tax, enhancing net returns. Only redeem equities if essential.

For debt funds, consider short-term fixed-income instruments as they align better with your income tax bracket.

5. Education and Marriage Fund for Your Daughters

Planning for your daughters' future is crucial. SSY is a good foundation, but enhancing it with additional investments will strengthen this corpus:

Balanced Funds: Consider adding balanced mutual funds for your daughters’ future needs. They offer moderate growth with lower risk, making them ideal for long-term goals.

SIPs with Step-Ups: A 10% yearly step-up in your SIPs allocated for their education and marriage could accumulate a strong corpus by the time they reach college-going age.

6. Emergency Fund and Insurance Coverage

Your focus on wealth accumulation should not overlook risk management. Here are essential adjustments:

Increase Emergency Fund: Ensure that your emergency fund covers at least 12 months of expenses. Allocate Rs. 8-10 lakh across liquid instruments like short-term debt funds for instant access during unforeseen events.

Insurance Adequacy: Ensure you have sufficient term insurance to cover your family’s financial security. Verify that your life insurance covers liabilities and future education and lifestyle expenses for your children.

7. Structured Approach Towards Asset Allocation

Balancing your portfolio to align with a moderate risk tolerance for the next 6-7 years will reduce potential losses while achieving growth.

Fixed Income: Gradually increase your PF and other debt allocations, as these provide stability and guaranteed returns. This ensures a steady income during volatile market phases.

Equity Allocation: Keep equities dominant in your allocation, as they are the main growth driver. Equity mutual funds, specifically, will play a significant role in achieving your Rs. 8 crore target.

Regular Portfolio Review: Annually review and adjust your portfolio. A CFP can guide you on specific fund performances and market conditions, ensuring your portfolio stays on track.

8. Aligning Goals with Family Security

Since you aim to retire early, ensuring the financial security of your family is essential. Here’s how to safeguard your family’s future:

Establish a Family Trust: Consider setting up a family trust if you aim to secure and pass on assets seamlessly. It can reduce inheritance issues and provide tax-efficient transfers for your children’s benefit.

Child-Specific Funds: Allocate a separate, conservative fund for each child’s major expenses (e.g., marriage or higher education). Consider child plans with a mix of equity and debt, specifically designed to build wealth for such milestones.

9. Final Insights

Your financial journey so far has been effective and well-structured. Minor adjustments, increased SIPs, and a focus on asset allocation will strengthen your goal of achieving Rs. 8 crore by age 46. Regularly consult a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to stay on track with evolving market trends and optimize your wealth.

Implementing these strategies will not only help you achieve your retirement corpus but also ensure a secure and comfortable future for your family.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |414 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 04, 2024
Relationship
my gf was physical(intercourse) just for once with her ex and her ex cheated on her she just had a 2 month relationship with her ex. and after that around just after a month we came in relationship and its been 2 months we are in a relationship we both go to same college but due to house problem she doesn't attend classes basically we are in a long distance relationship and she still remember him and when she goes to places where she meet her ex she still have flashback She is not fully with me even when i just ask her for a normal kiss she refuses and tells me what so hurry but when i asked her does she want to stay with me she told me yes i want to stay with you and she is ready to marry me as well when time comes she even told me that timely she will have feelings for me And for me all this is new this is my first relationship what should i do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Refusing for a kiss isn't as concerning as her saying she will have feelings for you. Not everyone is ready for intimacy at the same time in all their relationships. As I mentioned earlier, there can be several reasons for this behavior. Please have an open conversation with her. Let her know that her behavior is bothering you and you want some clarity. If she still continues to say the same thing, you have the option to rethink the relationship.

I understand that you are feeling disturbed; it's not easy being on the receiving end. Please feel free to pick yourself first. You deserve someone who loves you completely.

Best Wishes.

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Ravi Mittal  |414 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am 28, will be engaged in 3-4 months. It's an arranged marriage. I have met the girl one time, that too she was accompanied with her parents as her family is very conservative. We spoke privately for about half an hour. I know it's still not enough but I was able to have a good conversation. She was nervous at first but I made her feel comfortable and it was then time well spent. She is a sweet girl, even my maa papa like this girl but on the other hand, I am also getting worried as the days are coming near. Sometimes I feel like postponing the event. Is this normal? I also fear of things that happens in nowadays like getting divorce, extra marital affairs, alimony etc. What if she finds a better partner after marriage? Will she leave me? Due to this I cannot have proper sleep recently. Any suggestions to calm my nerves?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Many people get cold feet before getting married. It is very normal. All your questions are valid but you need to understand that in every relationship, it all comes down to trust. Whether you marry this woman or someone else, you have to trust her. And no one can really tell what the future holds. So we focus on the present and hope for the best.

I suggest speaking to your would-be partner a little more in the meantime. Getting to know her will put these doubts to rest. I'm sure she is equally concerned about what kind of person you are. Moreover, it is always a good idea to get to know each other better before committing for a lifetime. And, in case, you still think you need to postpone the event, do not shy away from doing so. It is better to take some time and make the right decision than to make a wrong decision in a hurry.

Hope this helps.
Best Wishes.

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Dr Shakeeb Ahmed

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed Khan  |123 Answers  |Ask -

Physiotherapist - Answered on Nov 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 15, 2024Hindi
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Health
Hi sir , Iam male 27 years planning to reduce my current weight of 86KG hence planning to hit the gym. Iam concerned of abdominal fat. I left gym 3 yrs back when my weight was average 69kgs. However due to no physical activity weight increased. Now iam planning for reducing weight and also improve my strength with good muscular lean body not bulk. Please guide me sir thanks
Ans: It’s wonderful that you’re enthusiastic about getting back into the gym to work towards weight loss and a lean, toned physique! As a physiotherapist, I suggest scheduling regular check-ins with a physiotherapist to monitor your progress and make any necessary adjustments to your exercise routine. To effectively lose fat, particularly around the abdomen, while building muscle, try a balanced approach that incorporates both cardio and strength training. Start with 20-30 minutes of moderate-intensity cardio—like brisk walking, cycling, or jogging—three to five times per week to increase calorie burn. For strength training, focus on compound exercises such as squats, lunges, push-ups, and rows, with three sessions per week. Begin with lighter weights, increasing gradually as your strength builds, and focus on good form to develop lean muscle without bulk.

Including core exercises, like planks, Russian twists, and leg raises, will help to strengthen and tone your abdominal muscles; however, remember that fat loss from specific areas requires overall body fat reduction. A high-protein, balanced diet will be crucial for supporting muscle growth and managing hunger, so aim to reduce processed foods and sugars. Consistency is essential—maintain a regular exercise schedule, and ensure you have rest days for recovery. With dedication, you’ll see steady improvements over time. Best of luck, and don’t hesitate to reach out if you need further guidance!

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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