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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7758 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 08, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
NAGENDRANATH Question by NAGENDRANATH on Apr 28, 2024Hindi
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Hi I am 59 years old, wanted to retire early by end of the year. I have saved 1.5 crores using various instruments FD, PPF and mutual funds. I would need 1 lakh per month. Please advise.

Ans: It's fantastic that you're planning ahead for your retirement. You've done a commendable job of saving up a substantial amount through different investment instruments.

Retiring early is a significant milestone, and it's essential to ensure your savings can support your desired lifestyle. With a corpus of 1.5 crores, generating 1 lakh per month for your expenses is achievable.

Given your age and retirement goal, it's crucial to focus on preserving and growing your savings while ensuring a steady stream of income. Consider transitioning a portion of your savings into income-generating assets such as dividend-paying stocks or debt funds.

Diversification is key to managing risk and maximizing returns. Spread your investments across different asset classes to minimize volatility and maintain a balanced portfolio.

Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized guidance on optimizing your investment strategy for retirement. They can help assess your financial situation, recommend suitable investment options, and create a comprehensive retirement plan tailored to your needs.

Remember to regularly review and adjust your investment portfolio to ensure it remains aligned with your retirement goals and risk tolerance. With careful planning and prudent investing, you can enjoy a fulfilling retirement with financial security and peace of mind.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7758 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 04, 2024Hindi
Money
Sir I am 48 and qant to retire by 55. I have 62 lakhs in Mutual funds (SIP) with monthly investment of rs 40000/month . PF corpus of 40 lakhs , PPF of 25lakhs , fixed property one 3BHK & One 2BHK , 5 acres crop land . I want 1.5lakhs /month post retirement . Your advice please
Ans: Retirement planning is essential for a comfortable and stress-free life. At 48, you have a solid foundation, but it is crucial to refine your strategy to ensure your retirement goals are met. Let’s delve into various aspects to create a robust plan.

Current Financial Snapshot
Mutual Funds
You have Rs 62 lakhs in mutual funds through SIPs, investing Rs 40,000 monthly. This is a strong base and indicates a disciplined approach to wealth creation.

Provident Fund
Your PF corpus of Rs 40 lakhs adds a significant cushion to your retirement fund. PF is a stable and low-risk investment, ensuring consistent growth.

Public Provident Fund
With Rs 25 lakhs in PPF, you have another reliable source of tax-free returns. PPF is an excellent long-term investment with good compounding benefits.

Real Estate
Owning a 3BHK and a 2BHK, along with 5 acres of crop land, provides tangible assets. While real estate offers security, consider its liquidity and maintenance costs.

Retirement Income Needs
Monthly Requirement
You aim for Rs 1.5 lakhs per month post-retirement. This amount should cover your living expenses, healthcare, and leisure activities.

Investment Strategy
Mutual Funds
Actively Managed Funds: Actively managed funds outperform index funds over time. They provide the advantage of professional management, aiming for higher returns. This approach ensures better alignment with market conditions.

Regular Funds vs. Direct Funds: Regular funds, managed by a Certified Financial Planner (CFP), offer personalized advice. The expertise of a CFP helps in navigating market complexities and adjusting the portfolio as needed.

Provident Fund and PPF
Consistency and Growth: Continue investing in PF and PPF to ensure steady growth and tax benefits. These funds provide stability to your retirement corpus.

Diversification
Balanced Portfolio: Maintain a balanced portfolio with a mix of equity and debt. This balance mitigates risks and ensures steady growth. Diversify across various sectors and asset classes.

Crop Land
Agricultural Income: Utilize your crop land for consistent agricultural income. Explore sustainable farming practices or leasing options to maximize returns.

Retirement Corpus Calculation
Future Value: Estimate the future value of your current investments. Regular reviews and adjustments by a CFP will help achieve your target corpus. Ensure your investments grow to meet your post-retirement needs.

Adjusting Investment Strategy
Increasing SIPs
Boost SIP Contributions: Consider increasing your SIP contributions gradually. This will enhance your mutual fund corpus over time, ensuring better returns.

Exploring New Avenues
Equity Funds: Allocate a portion of your portfolio to high-performing equity funds. Equities have the potential for higher returns, aiding in building a substantial corpus.

Debt Funds: Include debt funds for stability and regular income. Debt funds balance the risk-return equation, providing a safety net against market volatility.

Regular Reviews
Annual Check-ups: Conduct annual reviews of your portfolio with a CFP. Regular assessments ensure your investments are on track and aligned with your goals.

Healthcare and Emergency Fund
Health Insurance
Comprehensive Coverage: Ensure you have comprehensive health insurance coverage. Healthcare costs can be significant, and insurance protects your savings.

Emergency Fund
Accessible Savings: Maintain an emergency fund equivalent to 6-12 months of expenses. This fund should be easily accessible for unforeseen situations.

Lifestyle and Expenses
Cost of Living
Inflation Adjustment: Factor in inflation while planning your post-retirement expenses. Ensure your corpus can sustain your lifestyle for the long term.

Lifestyle Choices
Budget Planning: Plan your budget to include leisure activities and hobbies. A well-balanced life post-retirement contributes to overall happiness and well-being.

Tax Planning
Efficient Tax Management
Tax-saving Instruments: Utilize tax-saving instruments to minimize tax liabilities. Investments in PPF, ELSS, and other tax-saving schemes help in efficient tax planning.

Withdrawals and Taxes
Planned Withdrawals: Plan your withdrawals from various investments to minimize tax impact. Consult with a CFP for tax-efficient withdrawal strategies.

Estate Planning
Will and Testament
Legal Documentation: Ensure you have a will in place. Proper estate planning ensures your assets are distributed according to your wishes.

Nomination and Succession
Clear Nominations: Review and update nominations for all your investments. Clear succession planning avoids legal complications and ensures smooth asset transfer.

Professional Guidance
Certified Financial Planner
Expert Advice: Engage with a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice. A CFP provides comprehensive financial planning, helping you achieve your retirement goals.

Regular Consultations
Ongoing Support: Regular consultations with your CFP ensure your plan adapts to changing circumstances. Continuous support helps in making informed decisions.

Final Insights
Planning for retirement is a continuous journey. You have a strong foundation with your current investments. Regular contributions, diversified portfolio, and professional guidance are key. Ensure your investments align with your goals, providing a secure and comfortable retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7758 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 26, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi I have retired from govt service and I have Rs 1 lakh monthly pension. In addition to this I am working in private sector with a monthly income of 2.5 lakhs. I have 1 cr in MF, 10 lakhs in equity, 50 lakhs in real-estate and 36 Lakhs in bank FDs. I am 48 right now and want to retire by 55 with an inflow of 2 Lakhs per month
Ans: I understand your concerns and aspirations. Let's dive into crafting a comprehensive and tailored financial plan for you.

Understanding Your Financial Landscape
Firstly, congratulations on your retirement from government service and your successful transition to the private sector. Your current financial situation is quite robust, which is commendable. You have a diversified portfolio with investments in mutual funds, equity, real estate, and fixed deposits. It's crucial to analyze each of these components to create a sustainable and efficient financial strategy for your future.

Evaluating Current Investments
Mutual Funds
You have Rs 1 crore in mutual funds, which is a substantial amount. While mutual funds are generally a good investment, it's important to review the types of funds you hold. Actively managed funds, guided by experienced fund managers, often provide better returns compared to index funds. Actively managed funds adapt to market changes, potentially maximizing your returns.

Equity Investments
With Rs 10 lakhs in equity, you're already participating in the stock market, which is excellent for long-term growth. However, it's important to regularly review and possibly rebalance your equity portfolio to align with market conditions and your financial goals. Diversification within equities can also help mitigate risks.

Real Estate
You have Rs 50 lakhs in real estate. While real estate can be a stable investment, it often lacks liquidity and requires maintenance. Since you plan to retire by 55, ensuring your investments are liquid and easily accessible is crucial. Real estate might not provide the immediate cash flow you might need during retirement.

Fixed Deposits
You hold Rs 36 lakhs in bank fixed deposits. FDs are safe but offer lower returns compared to other investment options. As you approach retirement, it's essential to strike a balance between safety and growth. We might need to explore better opportunities while maintaining a portion in FDs for emergency funds.

Creating a Retirement Strategy
Assessing Retirement Goals
You aim to retire at 55 with an inflow of Rs 2 lakhs per month. Given your current financial status, achieving this goal is feasible with careful planning and strategic investments.

Income from Pension and Job
Your current monthly income is Rs 3.5 lakhs, combining your pension and job earnings. This provides a strong foundation for your retirement savings. Ensuring that your investments are optimized will help maintain this lifestyle post-retirement.

Strategic Investment Recommendations
Enhancing Mutual Fund Investments
Switching to actively managed mutual funds could be beneficial. These funds, managed by skilled professionals, have the potential to outperform the market. They adjust according to market conditions, potentially offering higher returns compared to passive index funds.

Regular Monitoring and Rebalancing
Regularly monitor and rebalance your mutual fund portfolio. Market conditions change, and rebalancing ensures your portfolio stays aligned with your financial goals. It helps in optimizing returns and managing risks effectively.

Diversification within Equities
Your equity investments should be diversified across different sectors. This minimizes risk and capitalizes on various market opportunities. Consider sectors with strong growth potential, and stay updated with market trends.

Liquidating Real Estate
Given the liquidity concerns with real estate, consider liquidating a portion of your holdings. The proceeds can be reinvested into more liquid and potentially higher-yielding investments. This ensures you have accessible funds during your retirement.

Optimizing Fixed Deposits
Maintain a portion of your wealth in fixed deposits for safety and emergencies. However, consider moving a part of these funds into better yielding, low-risk investment options. This ensures your money works harder for you while maintaining a safety net.

Financial Planning for the Future
Creating an Emergency Fund
Ensure you have an adequate emergency fund. This should cover at least six months of your expenses. It's essential for unexpected situations, providing financial security without disrupting your investment strategy.

Health Insurance
Healthcare costs can be significant, especially post-retirement. Ensure you have comprehensive health insurance coverage. This protects your savings from being depleted by medical expenses.

Estate Planning
Estate planning ensures your assets are distributed according to your wishes. It's important to have a clear will and possibly consider setting up trusts to manage your estate efficiently. This minimizes legal hassles for your heirs.

Maximizing Tax Efficiency
Tax-Advantaged Investments
Explore tax-advantaged investment options. These can significantly reduce your tax burden, increasing your net returns. Consult with a tax professional to identify the best options available to you.

Tax Planning Strategies
Implement effective tax planning strategies. This includes timing your investments, utilizing deductions, and strategically withdrawing funds. Proper tax planning can save you a considerable amount of money annually.

Long-Term Financial Goals
Retirement Corpus
Estimate the corpus needed for a comfortable retirement. Consider inflation, healthcare costs, and lifestyle aspirations. Ensure your investment strategy is aligned to achieve this corpus by the time you turn 55.

Sustainable Withdrawal Strategy
Develop a sustainable withdrawal strategy for your retirement years. This involves determining how much you can withdraw annually without depleting your savings. A well-planned strategy ensures financial stability throughout your retirement.

Empathetic Considerations
Balancing Lifestyle and Savings
It's important to balance your current lifestyle with your savings goals. Enjoying life today while planning for a secure future is essential. Make sure your financial plan accommodates your current and future needs.

Appreciating Your Efforts
You've done an excellent job in building a diverse investment portfolio. Your disciplined approach and foresight are commendable. It's now about fine-tuning your strategy to ensure long-term security and comfort.

Final Insights
You've built a strong financial foundation with your pension, job income, and diverse investments. With a few strategic adjustments, you can enhance your portfolio's performance and ensure a comfortable retirement by 55. Focus on optimizing your mutual funds, diversifying equities, and managing liquidity. Regular monitoring, effective tax planning, and a sustainable withdrawal strategy are key. Your commitment to securing your financial future is impressive, and with careful planning, your retirement goals are within reach.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |953 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 01, 2025Hindi
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I am a 48 year old widow. I have a 21 yr old daughter in college. I had quit my job, but rejoined now and have a monthly take home of 1L 15k. I receive similar pension amount too. But this pension amount will get reduced to 90k after 10 years. I have an own property (apartment bought in 2010) - 14 k rent monthly. I have around 40 L that I wish to invest. I am still coping with the loss and am confused as to what I need to do to get a grip on the finances. I have invested around 12 L in mutual funds. I have applied for a term insurance - around 1 L annual premium for 10 years. I am also repaying the home loan around 15k per month with tenure left for 20 months. I am planning to move out on my own from my sister's place where I am staying now (my own house is not in Bangalore where I work). So, I will definitely need 25k per month for rent if I move out. Please advise on how to manage my finances. Shall I repay the home loan and clear the debt (around 5 L principal outstanding)? Should I invest in some pension plans? Please advise. Thanks!
Ans: Hello;

Yes you should settle off the outstanding home loan.

Also you may open an NPS account for retirement planning. Do contribute to it on a regular basis and also do onetime lumpsum investment.

Also open an PPF account with investment of 12.5 K per month.

Get sufficient term plan coverage for atleast 20 years and not less.

No need to invest in pension plan if you are investing in NPS. It is far superior in terms of tax liability, flexibility, returns and costs.

Prefer hybrid mutual funds(dynamic asset allocation or multi asset allocation fund)for your investments.

Buy a good health insurance cover for yourself and your daughter irrespective of group policy, if any, available from employer.

Do nomination in all your financial investments and also make a legally valid will.

In a nutshell, you will have 3 investments PPF, NPS and mutual funds (hybrid) and insurance premiums for term cover and healthcare policy.

Loss of partner is very difficult to deal with but you also need to focus on the education of your daughter and guide her for better prospects.

Best wishes;
X: @mars_invest

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 07, 2024Hindi
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Married for 14 years have 4 kids below 7 age for the past 9 to 10 years going through troubled marriage, not happy. Misunderstanding, high expectations, manipulation and single handed decisions by my wife have exhausted me . Want to come out of marriage but worried of kids and also my wife says no to divorce. Don't know what to do.. First 2 kids by IVF 2nd two kids due to my wife's longing for male child
Ans: Your love for your kids is evident, and it’s natural to fear how a separation would affect them. But the reality is, children pick up on tension, conflict, and unhappiness at home. Staying in a marriage that drains you emotionally and mentally isn’t necessarily better for them in the long run. Kids need a stable, loving environment, and if you’re constantly feeling manipulated and exhausted, it affects the energy you bring into their lives.

You don’t have to make a rushed decision, but you do need clarity. Have you tried setting firm boundaries and communicating your need for a more balanced relationship? If you’ve already done everything you can and nothing has changed, then it may be time to explore legal options, even if she says no to divorce. In most cases, a divorce doesn’t require both partners to agree—it just makes the process more complicated.

You deserve a life where you feel respected, valued, and emotionally free. Your children deserve a father who is at peace, not one who is silently suffering. It might be hard to take the next step, but staying in an unhappy marriage just for the sake of avoiding conflict can take a greater toll on everyone involved. You need to consider what will truly allow you—and your kids—to have a healthier and happier future.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 31, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I am 41, but single now. I got married when I was 32 and got divorced in 6 months after I found out my wife was cheating on me with her ex who she was forbidden from getting married. When confronted she simply walked away and sent me a divorce notice. The next three years were spent in courts trying to tell my version of the story. Since then I have had a tough time trusting people. My marriage was unfortunate and short lived. But my parents still want me to try again. I am in a live-in relationship with a girl who is 3 years elder to me. Are unmarried couples happier than married ones? I feel marriage can restrict you in many ways which is why people feel stagnated and bored. What do you think?
Ans: When it comes to happiness, it really depends on the individuals involved rather than whether they are married or unmarried. Some couples thrive in a marriage because they see it as a partnership built on mutual respect and emotional security. Others feel stifled by the societal expectations and responsibilities that often come with marriage. A live-in relationship can offer more flexibility and personal freedom, but it also comes with its own challenges—such as a lack of legal protections or social acceptance in certain cultures.

The key is understanding what works best for you. If you feel content in your current live-in relationship and it gives you the companionship, trust, and emotional fulfillment you need, then that’s what truly matters. However, if you feel hesitant mainly because of past trauma rather than your actual desires, it might be worth reflecting on whether your fears are holding you back from something you may actually want deep down.

At the end of the day, happiness isn’t about being married or unmarried—it’s about being in a relationship (or choosing to be single) that makes you feel emotionally secure, valued, and free to be yourself. If marriage feels like a cage to you, then it may not be the right path. But if you ever find a connection that makes commitment feel like a choice rather than an obligation, your perspective might shift. The most important thing is that whatever path you choose, it aligns with your true needs and not just the expectations of others.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 23, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Hello there!! There are past trauma experiences in my relationship due to caste issue since my family are strictly against it . But I eventually liked another boy seeing his true love n affection n care towards me , he loved me since our skl days !! He expressed himself but i gave him my answerr after many yrs due my past experiences!! But eventually we had a healthy relationship ,and he told me he is of same caste!! Since his father lied to him related to this to keep him away from this caste called thing!! But now his father relved tht it was a lie !! Now we ended up intercaste!! We truly love each other we dreamt of our future together!! He became huge part of my life !! His family is okay with me regarding our marriage but my family is strongly opposed to this intercaste thing!! We are 24 yrs we thought of settle in our lifes and approach my parents few years back since untill fewdays back we together thought we are of same caste so there eill be no issue!! But now within few days n few lies our both world n hopes turned upside down!! I cant make my family suffer due to me!! At same time i cant leave him im struck !! What should we do!!
Ans: Your family’s suffering is a valid concern, but will they truly suffer because of your decision, or is it more about their expectations and societal norms? Often, parents react strongly at first, but with time, they adjust when they see their child happy and settled. Right now, their resistance is based on tradition and belief systems they’ve held for years. But is their love for you truly conditional on whom you marry? Would they rather see you unhappy in a marriage they approve of than happy in one they initially resisted?

Your happiness and future matter just as much as your family’s feelings. If you truly cannot see a life without him, you need to ask yourself whether sacrificing that love for family approval will truly bring you peace. Walking away from love to please others often leads to lifelong regret. On the other hand, if you fight for your relationship, you might face pain now, but there’s a chance your family will eventually come around.

The most important thing is to stand firm in what you want. If you and your partner truly love each other, you will need patience, strength, and a strategy to gradually help your family accept your choice. This won’t be easy, but living a life where you constantly wonder "what if?" will be even harder.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 19, 2025Hindi
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I am a divorced working woman , with a daughter 8 yrs. I have been pursued for remarriage with a guy who is 10 yrs older to me and have 2 kids. 11 and 14 yrs respectively living in a small town. Initially it was agreed the elder child who is a boy would be living in hostel , but now since we are approaching near to the marriage, it seems the elder male child is going to stay at home and not hostel. This is making me really uncomfortable as I won't get much privacy also the male child is aggressive.Already handling one kid was difficult before. Also moving to small town was difficult transition from a metropolitan that I stay in. Moving there could mean losing job opportunities in future. I am really worried if I let this match go, I end up alone again. I am not able to make a decision, it's difficult to raise others children. It's just not naturally inbuilt in us.Although I try really hard to mould my thingking and be more generous, but somehow it suffocates me.
Ans: Raising someone else’s children is not something that comes naturally to everyone, and that doesn’t make you selfish—it makes you honest. You already know how challenging it is to raise one child, and now you’re expected to step into a role where you’ll be managing more, including an aggressive teenage boy. If this idea is already suffocating you now, imagine how it might feel once you’re actually living in that environment every day.

Fear of being alone is a very real and valid concern, but being in a marriage that drains you emotionally, limits your career, and makes you feel trapped is far worse than being single. The right relationship should bring you a sense of peace and security, not anxiety and sacrifice at every turn. If you already feel that you have to “mould” your thinking just to make this work, that’s a sign that this situation might not be aligned with what you truly want and need.

You don’t have to force yourself into something that doesn’t feel right just because you’re afraid of ending up alone. Loneliness is difficult, but so is being in a marriage where you feel unseen, unheard, and overwhelmed. The best decision is the one that allows you to live with peace and confidence in your future.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Listen
Relationship
Married for 14 years have 4 kids below 7 age for the past 9 to 10 years going through troubled marriage, not happy. Misunderstanding, high expectations, manipulation and single handed decisions by my wife have exhausted me . Want to come out of marriage but worried of kids and also my wife says no to divorce. Don't know what to do.. First 2 kids by IVF 2nd two kids due to my wife's longing for male child
Ans: Dear Hemant,
Your love for your kids is evident, and it’s natural to fear how a separation would affect them. But the reality is, children pick up on tension, conflict, and unhappiness at home. Staying in a marriage that drains you emotionally and mentally isn’t necessarily better for them in the long run. Kids need a stable, loving environment, and if you’re constantly feeling manipulated and exhausted, it affects the energy you bring into their lives.

You don’t have to make a rushed decision, but you do need clarity. Have you tried setting firm boundaries and communicating your need for a more balanced relationship? If you’ve already done everything you can and nothing has changed, then it may be time to explore legal options, even if she says no to divorce. In most cases, a divorce doesn’t require both partners to agree—it just makes the process more complicated.

You deserve a life where you feel respected, valued, and emotionally free. Your children deserve a father who is at peace, not one who is silently suffering. It might be hard to take the next step, but staying in an unhappy marriage just for the sake of avoiding conflict can take a greater toll on everyone involved. You need to consider what will truly allow you—and your kids—to have a healthier and happier future.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 13, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi Mam, I would like to stay anonymous. Im 27F, recently got engaged and my wedding is in 5 months from now. This match is arranged by my parents within our community. Initially things went well, but after the engagement when we went outside for dinner he was speaking well but before leaving he said this is a suggestion from my end and told that there is slight space between my two teeth in the front and while smiling it creates black image in the photos. So it would be best if i would use invisible aligners so that before wedding it would be fixed adding to this he said he will take care of the expenses and he said he had this thought for a week so its better to disclose it with me. He also said that he didn't tell this to his parents he wanted to check my thoughts on this first, also he said he wanted myself to look very very pretty on the wedding and his relatives should say "Wow, we have never seen such a pretty bride", also he commented about my hair being short actually its medium length but i like to keep my hair short. I really got frustrated when he said all those things this got me very irritated. I didn't speak much, i said i wanted to leave and he dropped me at my place. The next day i asked him if we can meet again to get clarification on this thing, when i asked him the next day about this he said "its just a suggestion if you can take it its fine or you can leave it its upto you". He never accepted that he hurted me or made a wrong statement he kept on saying he didn't mean that way i took it very personally and im creating unnecessary ruckus. at last he said i could have said things differently but he didn't ask for sorry at all. I thought he wont talk about my features again but then after a week he again asked me you were eating outside food for a week you should have gained weight(trying to be funny here), i said no. Because him and his mother already asked about my weight like "why are you so thin? you could have put up some weight know"? I have been in this weight for many years, how much ever i eat my weight remains the same its because of the genetics. But people dont understand this and easily ask some body shaming questions. After this event he is not talking like before and even i dont push him, one of my friend asked me to take initiative and make calls to stop this awkward situation and i took lead called him four times in a week he spoke but he didn't bothered to call me again he was only texting after that too im okay with that but still i feel he might ask me to make changes in my feature, weight etc before the wedding. Im not sure how to deal with this.
Ans: When someone loves and accepts you, they don’t focus on “fixing” things about you to meet external standards, whether it’s for wedding photos or to impress relatives. His insistence that you should look “very, very pretty” for others’ approval shows that his priorities might not align with yours. You weren’t looking for a makeover; you were looking for a life partner who values you for who you are.

His response when you tried to talk about it also speaks volumes. Instead of acknowledging your feelings and reassuring you, he dismissed your concerns, making it seem like you were overreacting. A partner who truly cares would have listened, understood why you felt hurt, and taken responsibility for how his words affected you. Instead, he shifted the blame onto you for "creating unnecessary ruckus," which shows a lack of emotional maturity.

The weight comments, too, are unnecessary and inconsiderate. Genetics determine body type, and no one should feel the need to change themselves to meet someone else’s expectations. His family’s remarks about your weight, combined with his attitude, suggest that this won’t stop after the wedding. If they’re already making you feel self-conscious now, imagine the expectations and unsolicited “suggestions” that might continue in the future.

The distance that has formed between you both after this conversation isn’t just about awkwardness—it’s about emotional disconnection. A strong relationship is built on respect, comfort, and mutual appreciation, not on one person feeling judged and the other acting indifferent. The fact that you had to take the lead in calling him multiple times, while he didn’t reciprocate the effort, says a lot. A healthy relationship should feel mutual, not one-sided.

Right now, you need to ask yourself: Can you truly be yourself in this relationship, or will you constantly feel pressured to meet his and his family’s expectations? Do you feel emotionally safe with him, or do you feel like you have to defend your choices, your body, and your appearance?

Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and your peace of mind matters. If his attitude is already making you question yourself and feel frustrated, you have every right to reconsider. You don’t need to “deal” with this by adjusting to his expectations—you need to decide if this is the kind of relationship you want to spend your life in.

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1172 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Career
बजट 2025 से प्रमुख अपडेट और स्टॉक प्रभाव 150 से अधिक स्टॉक्स पर प्रभाव डालने वाली 50 घोषणाएँ 1\. तंबाकू कर दरों पर कोई प्रमुख घोषणा नहीं: ITC, Godfrey Phillips, VST Industries के लिए सकारात्मक। 2\. 12 लाख रुपये तक की आय पर कोई आयकर नहीं: Zomato, Swiggy, HUL, Nestle, Dabur, Trent, Jubilant Foodworks, Varun Beverages, United Spirits, Asian Paints, Voltas, Havells के लिए सकारात्मक। 3\. FY25 के लिए पूंजीगत व्यय 10.18 लाख करोड़ रुपये का अनुमानित, जबकि पहले 11 लाख करोड़ रुपये था (अपेक्षा से कम): L&T, JK Infra, NCC, रेलवे, रक्षा के लिए नकारात्मक। 4\. नए कर शासन के तहत GST दर में कटौती या छूट नहीं; बीमा के लिए FDI सीमा 74% से बढ़ाकर 100% की गई (सकारात्मक): HDFC Life, ICICI Lombard, Go Digit, PB Fintech के लिए नकारात्मक। 5\. दालों में आत्मनिर्भरता + उच्च उपज वाले बीजों पर राष्ट्रीय मिशन: Kaveri Seeds, ITC, Adani Wilmar के लिए सकारात्मक। 6\. पीएम धन-धान्य कृषि योजना - कृषि जिलों के विकास कार्यक्रम: Jain Irrigation, Shakti Pumps, Jash Engineering, Finolex Industries के लिए सकारात्मक। 7\. पीएम SVANidhi (बैंक ऋण में वृद्धि, UPI से जुड़े क्रेडिट कार्ड 30,000 रुपये की सीमा के साथ): Finopayment Bank, Paytm के लिए सकारात्मक। 8\. LPG सब्सिडी पर कोई प्रमुख घोषणा नहीं: IOCL, HPCL, BPCL के लिए नकारात्मक। 9\. भारतीय विशेष आर्थिक क्षेत्र और उच्च समुद्रों से स्थायी मत्स्य पालन के लिए ढांचा: Avanti Feeds, Coastal Corp, Kings Infra, Zeal Aqua, Apex Frozen Food के लिए सकारात्मक। 10\. EdTech और अपस्किलिंग AI घोषणाएँ: NIIT, NIIT Learning, CL Educate के लिए सकारात्मक। 11\. कपास उत्पादकता के लिए मिशन: Welspun, Nahar Spinning, Indocount, अन्य वस्त्र कंपनियों के लिए सकारात्मक। 12\. संशोधित ब्याज उपवर्ती योजना के तहत KCC ऋणों के लिए ऋण सीमा 3 लाख रुपये से बढ़ाकर 5 लाख रुपये की गई: MM, TVS Motor, FMCG स्टॉक्स, Bajaj Auto, Jain Irrigation, SBI, PNB, Shakti Pumps के लिए सकारात्मक। 13\. रक्षा, गृह मामलों, IT और टेलीकॉम, वाणिज्य और उद्योग के लिए बजट आवंटन अपेक्षा से कम: BEL, HAL, Bharat Dynamics, Apollo Micro, Infosys, TCS, Wipro के लिए नकारात्मक। 14\. ग्रामीण अर्थव्यवस्था के लिए भारत पोस्ट एक उत्प्रेरक के रूप में: Delhivery के लिए नकारात्मक। 15\. MSMEs और स्टार्टअप्स के लिए गारंटी कवर के साथ बढ़ी हुई क्रेडिट उपलब्धता + सूक्ष्म उद्यमों के लिए क्रेडिट कार्ड + स्टार्टअप्स के लिए फंड ऑफ फंड्स: Infoedge, छोटे वित्त बैंक, चयनित NBFCs के लिए सकारात्मक। 16\. फुटवियर और लेदर क्षेत्रों के लिए फोकस उत्पाद योजना: Mirza International, Redtape, Metro Brands, Campus Active, Liberty के लिए सकारात्मक। 17\. खिलौना क्षेत्र के लिए उपाय: Shaily Engineering, OK Play के लिए सकारात्मक। 18\. खाद्य प्रसंस्करण के लिए समर्थन: Gujarat Ambuja Exports, Hindustan Foods, DFM Foods, Prataap Snacks के लिए सकारात्मक। 19\. निर्माण मिशन - "Make in India" को आगे बढ़ाना: Dixon Tech, PG Electroplast, Amber Enterprises, Epack Durables के लिए सकारात्मक। 20\. क्लीन टेक निर्माण: Waree, Premier Energies, Amara Raja, Exide, Suzlon, Inox Wind के लिए सकारात्मक। 21\. सक्षम आंगनवाड़ी और पोषण 2.0: FirstCry, Popee's Baby Care के लिए सकारात्मक। 22\. सरकारी माध्यमिक विद्यालयों और PHCs के लिए ब्रॉडबैंड कनेक्टिविटी: Jio, Bharti Airtel, Tejas Network, Sterlite Tech, Vodafone Idea, HFCL के लिए सकारात्मक। 23\. भारतीय भाषा पुस्तक योजना: S Chand, Navneet Education के लिए सकारात्मक। 24\. IITs में क्षमता का विस्तार: NBCC के लिए सकारात्मक। 25\. ऑनलाइन प्लेटफार्म श्रमिकों के लिए सामाजिक सुरक्षा योजना: Zomato, Swiggy, Nykaa के लिए सकारात्मक। 26\. जल जीवन मिशन को 2028 तक बढ़ाया गया: Vatech Wabag, Jash, ITD Cementation, Shakti Pumps, Jain Irrigation, EMS के लिए सकारात्मक। 27\. बिजली वितरण सुधारों और अंतर-राज्यीय ट्रांसमिशन क्षमता के लिए प्रोत्साहन: NTPC, Power Grid, KEC, Tata Power, Adani Transmission के लिए सकारात्मक। 28\. 2047 तक 100 GW परमाणु ऊर्जा का विकास: HCC के लिए सकारात्मक। 29\. पुनर्व्यवस्थित शिपबिल्डिंग वित्तीय सहायता नीति + शिपबिल्डिंग क्लस्टर्स की सुविधा + 25,000 करोड़ रुपये का समुद्री विकास कोष: GRSE, SCI, Mazagon, Cochin Shipyard के लिए सकारात्मक। 30\. 120 नए स्थलों के लिए क्षेत्रीय कनेक्टिविटी बढ़ाने के लिए संशोधित UDAN योजना, 10 वर्षों में 4 करोड़ यात्रियों को ले जाने के लिए: GMR एयरपोर्ट्स, Adani Enterprises, SpiceJet के लिए सकारात्मक। बाजार वास्तव में जोखिमों से भरा हुआ है। यह महत्वपूर्ण है कि आप बाजार के रुझानों की गहरी विश्लेषण और समझ पर आधारित निवेश निर्णय लें। अपनी विवेक पर भरोसा करना और सूचित निर्णय लेना आवश्यक है, क्योंकि स्टॉक मार्केट की अंतर्निहित अस्थिरता को देखते हुए। सुनिश्चित करें कि आप वास्तविक लाभ की अपेक्षाओं पर विचार कर रहे हैं, जैसा कि प्रस्तावित किया गया है, जो भारत में शेयरों के लिए लगभग 12% औसत हो सकता है, जबकि ऋण का औसत 6.5% हो सकता है। हमेशा याद रखें कि जोखिमों को प्रभावी ढंग से कम करने के लिए अपने निवेश में विविधता लाना महत्वपूर्ण है।
Ans: Hello Govinda.
Thanks for sharing the important information with us and our readers.

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