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46 Year Old with 1.37 Cr Investments: Can I Retire at 52?

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7931 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 11, 2025

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 11, 2025Hindi
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Hi I am 46 year old and have one child I have 27 lac in PPF and 1.10Cr in mutual funds 10 Lac in ULIP Plan. and 5 lac in NPS and 3 lac in EPF. 1.5 Cr term insurance Currently investing in 1.01 lac in SIP per month, 1 per year in ULIP, 50000 per year in NPS and 1.5 lac per year in PPF also EPF contribution. Salary income is 1.5 lac per month and rent income is 24000 and I am spending 15000 on rent. current loans 21 lac outstanding of home loan till 2032 and car loan 3 lac till Nov 2026 How should I plan retirement early at age of 52?

Ans: By the time you retire at 52, your investments are expected to grow as follows:

Mutual Funds (SIP Growth): ~?99.9L (?1.01L SIP for 6 years @10%)
ULIP Growth: ~?7.2L (?1L/year for 6 years @6%)
NPS Growth: ~?3.7L (?50K/year for 6 years @7%)
PPF Growth: ~?11.2L (?1.5L/year for 6 years @7%)
Existing Corpus Growth: ~?2.33 Cr (Current ?1.55 Cr growing @7%)
Total Expected Corpus at 52: ?3.55 Cr

Retirement Corpus Requirement
Assuming ?80K/month expenses (?9.6L/year) and a 4% safe withdrawal rate, you need:

?2.4 Cr corpus for a 40-year retirement
Conclusion & Plan
? You are well on track for early retirement at 52!
? Your projected corpus of ?3.55 Cr is sufficient to sustain ?80K/month expenses comfortably.
? Continue investing ?1.01L SIP till 52 and gradually shift some corpus to safer debt instruments closer to retirement.



Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP
Chief Financial Planner
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7931 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 21, 2024

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Good morning sir I am 40 year old .How to plan for early retirement.My investment details are as under PPF : 33 L NPS: 25 L PLI : 20L SIP. : 10 L ( 15 K / per month in SBI BLUECHIP, MIRAE BLUECHIP EQUITY FUND from 2015
Ans: Evaluating Your Current Financial Position
It's great that you are planning for early retirement at 40. Your current investments reflect disciplined savings and a good start towards your goal.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)
Your PPF investment of ?33 lakhs is a significant amount. PPF offers tax benefits and a steady, risk-free return. Continue investing the maximum annual limit to benefit from compounding.

National Pension System (NPS)
Your NPS corpus of ?25 lakhs is commendable. NPS provides tax benefits and a diversified investment approach. Continue making regular contributions to maximize your retirement corpus.

Postal Life Insurance (PLI)
Your PLI investment of ?20 lakhs is part of your insurance-cum-investment portfolio. PLI offers a secure investment with life coverage. However, insurance-cum-investment policies often yield lower returns compared to pure investment options.

Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs)
You have been investing ?15,000 per month in SIPs in two bluechip funds since 2015, accumulating ?10 lakhs. Bluechip funds, being large-cap equity funds, offer stable returns and growth potential.

Maximizing Mutual Fund Investments
To enhance your returns, consider increasing your SIP amounts gradually. Actively managed funds can adapt to market changes and aim for higher returns. They provide professional management, which is beneficial for long-term growth.

Regular Portfolio Review
Reviewing your portfolio regularly is essential. Market conditions and personal goals change over time. A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can help you rebalance your portfolio and ensure it aligns with your retirement goals.

Diversifying Your Portfolio
Diversification reduces risk and enhances returns. Consider adding mid-cap and small-cap funds to your portfolio. These funds offer higher growth potential, though with higher risk. A balanced mix can optimize your portfolio's performance.

Surrendering Low-Yield Policies
Consider surrendering or reducing your investment in low-yield insurance-cum-investment policies like PLI. Redirecting these funds into higher-yield mutual funds can enhance your overall returns.

Increasing Contributions to NPS
Maximizing your contributions to NPS can significantly boost your retirement corpus. NPS offers a mix of equity and debt investments, providing balanced growth and stability.

Building an Emergency Fund
Maintaining an emergency fund covering 6-12 months of expenses is crucial. This fund provides financial security and prevents the need to withdraw investments during emergencies.

Avoiding Common Investment Pitfalls
Avoid making emotional investment decisions. Stick to your long-term plan and avoid reacting to short-term market fluctuations. Regular consultation with a CFP ensures you stay on track towards your financial goals.

Estimating Retirement Corpus
To estimate the required corpus for early retirement, consider factors like inflation, life expectancy, and desired lifestyle. A general rule is to have at least 25 times your annual expenses saved. Consulting with a CFP can provide a more accurate and personalized estimate.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds, guided by professional managers, can adapt to market conditions and aim for higher returns. They offer flexibility and professional expertise, making them a better choice over index funds.

Conclusion: A Balanced Approach
Your current investment strategy is strong, but optimizing it can help achieve early retirement. Increasing SIP contributions, maximizing NPS, and diversifying your portfolio are crucial steps. Surrender low-yield policies and invest in higher-yield mutual funds. Regularly review your portfolio with a CFP to ensure alignment with your goals. This balanced approach will help you achieve financial independence and retire early.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7931 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 28, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 50, my investments are around 1 cr across MF, stocks, bonds, market linked policies. I have one house as invesrment evaluated at 1 cr and giving me rent of 35k per month. In addition I have 100k USD retirement fund and around 10K USD in company stocks. Liabilities are house loan, 70k per month till year 2028. Two kids, one getting into college next year and other in another 8 years. My monthly expenses are around 2 lakhs apart from house loan. I have term insurance of 2 cr, medical insurance of 1 cr yearly. What should be plan to retire early, say around 55 years
Ans: Retiring Early: A Roadmap for Financial Independence at 55

Congratulations on your substantial progress towards financial security. At 50, you have a robust investment portfolio, a rental property, and a solid retirement fund. Planning to retire at 55 requires a strategic approach to ensure financial independence and stability. Let's explore the key aspects of your financial plan.

1. Evaluating Your Current Financial Position
You have investments worth Rs 1 crore across various financial instruments. Additionally, your house, valued at Rs 1 crore, generates Rs 35,000 in monthly rental income.

Your retirement fund stands at $100,000, and you have $10,000 in company stocks. These assets provide a strong foundation for your retirement planning.

Your liabilities include a house loan with a monthly payment of Rs 70,000 until 2028. Managing this debt is crucial to your early retirement plan.

2. Assessing Monthly Expenses and Liabilities
Your monthly expenses are around Rs 2 lakhs, excluding the house loan. This includes living expenses, children's education, and other necessities. Understanding and managing these expenses is vital for your retirement strategy.

The house loan, with Rs 70,000 monthly payments, will continue until 2028. This is a significant financial commitment that needs careful handling.

3. Education Funding for Children
One child will enter college next year, and the other in eight years. Education costs will impact your financial planning. Ensuring adequate funds for their education without compromising your retirement goals is essential.

4. Insurance Coverage
You have a term insurance policy worth Rs 2 crores and medical insurance of Rs 1 crore annually. These provide financial protection for your family in case of unforeseen events.

5. Investment Strategy for Growth and Stability
To retire at 55, you need a well-balanced investment strategy that ensures growth and stability. Here are key considerations:

a. Diversification and Risk Management
Diversifying your portfolio across different asset classes is essential. This reduces risk and enhances returns. Ensure your investments in mutual funds, stocks, and bonds are well-balanced.

b. Active Management vs. Index Funds
Active management involves professional oversight, aiming to outperform the market. This can be beneficial compared to index funds, which simply track market indices. Actively managed funds may provide better returns, especially in volatile markets.

c. Regular Funds vs. Direct Funds
Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can offer several advantages. CFPs provide personalized advice, helping you choose the best funds for your goals. Regular funds, managed by professionals, can be more beneficial than direct funds due to expert guidance.

6. Rental Income and Real Estate
Your rental property provides a steady income of Rs 35,000 per month. This can supplement your retirement income. However, real estate can be illiquid, so relying solely on it is not advisable.

7. Debt Management
Paying off your house loan before retirement is crucial. This will reduce your financial burden and free up cash flow for other needs. Consider allocating a portion of your investments to accelerate loan repayment.

8. Emergency Fund
Maintaining an emergency fund is essential. This should cover at least six months of your expenses. It provides a safety net for unforeseen expenses without dipping into your retirement corpus.

9. Retirement Corpus Calculation
Estimate the corpus needed to sustain your lifestyle post-retirement. Consider factors like inflation, healthcare costs, and life expectancy. A Certified Financial Planner can help you calculate this accurately.

10. Withdrawal Strategy
Develop a withdrawal strategy for your retirement funds. This ensures you have a steady income stream throughout retirement. Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWPs) in mutual funds can be a good option.

11. Estate Planning
Plan for the distribution of your assets. This ensures your family is financially secure after your demise. A well-structured will and estate plan is necessary.

12. Monitoring and Reviewing
Regularly review your financial plan. Adjust your strategy based on changes in your financial situation and market conditions. A Certified Financial Planner can provide ongoing advice and adjustments.

Conclusion
Retiring at 55 is achievable with careful planning and disciplined execution. Your substantial assets, combined with a strategic approach, can ensure a comfortable and secure retirement. Keep diversifying your investments, manage your debts wisely, and seek professional advice to navigate your financial journey.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7931 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Money
Hi i am 42 years, and having an income of 80000/- per month and i have 60 lacs in Mutual funds , 10 lakhs in shares, and 20 lakhs in NPS by employer and i have loans of 32 lakhs home loan, 11 lakhs OD, and 3 lakhs car loan. I want to reture at the age of 50. How to plan retirement at 59. I have two kids one is in plus1 and another us in 8th standard.
Ans: First, let's assess your financial situation. You have a monthly income of Rs. 80,000. Your investments are as follows:

Rs. 60 lakhs in mutual funds
Rs. 10 lakhs in shares
Rs. 20 lakhs in NPS by employer
You also have loans:

Rs. 32 lakhs home loan
Rs. 11 lakhs overdraft (OD)
Rs. 3 lakhs car loan
Your children are in Plus 1 and 8th standard. You wish to retire at 50. This is a tight timeline, but with careful planning, it can be achievable.

Evaluating Your Debt
Debt management is crucial for your retirement plan. Your loans total Rs. 46 lakhs. This is significant, given your income. Let's look at strategies to manage and reduce this debt.

Home Loan
Your home loan is the largest debt. Consider refinancing for better interest rates. Paying extra towards the principal can also reduce the loan term and interest.

Overdraft (OD) and Car Loan
These loans should be prioritized for repayment. OD usually has high interest rates. Focus on clearing this debt quickly. The car loan, though smaller, should also be cleared to reduce monthly outflows.

Building Your Retirement Corpus
You aim to retire at 50. This requires a substantial retirement corpus. Let's break down the steps to achieve this.

Mutual Funds
Your Rs. 60 lakhs in mutual funds is a good start. Continue investing and ensure your portfolio is diversified. Actively managed funds can offer better returns compared to index funds. These funds have professional managers who make informed decisions to maximize returns.

Direct Shares
You have Rs. 10 lakhs in shares. Diversify your stock investments to mitigate risks. Regularly review your portfolio and stay updated with market trends. This proactive approach can enhance your returns.

NPS (National Pension System)
Your Rs. 20 lakhs in NPS by your employer is a stable investment. NPS offers tax benefits and a mix of equity and debt, balancing risk and return. Continue contributing to NPS to build a robust retirement corpus.

Setting Financial Goals
It's essential to set clear financial goals for retirement and children's education. Let's outline these goals and how to achieve them.

Children's Education
Your children are in Plus 1 and 8th standard. Higher education costs can be significant. Start by estimating these costs and creating a dedicated investment plan. Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) in mutual funds can be a good option. They offer flexibility and potential for high returns over time.

Retirement Planning
You wish to retire at 50, which means you have 8 years to build your corpus. Considering inflation and post-retirement expenses, aim for a substantial corpus. Regularly increase your SIP amounts in mutual funds. This disciplined approach will help you accumulate wealth.

Tax Planning
Efficient tax planning can save you money, boosting your investments. Utilize all available tax benefits under sections 80C, 80D, and 80CCD. Investing in tax-saving instruments like ELSS (Equity Linked Savings Scheme) can provide dual benefits of tax saving and wealth creation.

Insurance
Insurance is vital for financial security. Ensure you have adequate life and health insurance.

Life Insurance
Consider term insurance for adequate coverage. It offers high coverage at low premiums. Avoid investment-cum-insurance policies as they often provide lower returns compared to mutual funds.

Health Insurance
Ensure you have a comprehensive health insurance policy. Medical expenses can be high, and a good policy can protect your savings.

Reviewing and Adjusting Your Plan
Financial planning is not a one-time activity. Regularly review and adjust your plan based on changing circumstances.

Annual Review
Conduct an annual review of your investments and financial plan. Assess your progress towards goals and make necessary adjustments.

Market Conditions
Stay informed about market conditions. Adjust your investments based on market trends to optimize returns.

Benefits of Working with a Certified Financial Planner
A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can provide expert guidance tailored to your needs. They can help you create a comprehensive plan, manage investments, and navigate tax laws. Consider consulting a CFP to enhance your financial strategy.

Final Insights
Your goal to retire at 50 is ambitious but achievable with careful planning. Prioritize debt repayment, continue investing in mutual funds and shares, and ensure adequate insurance coverage. Regularly review and adjust your plan to stay on track. With discipline and expert guidance, you can achieve financial independence and enjoy a comfortable retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7931 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 22, 2025

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I AM 46 YR OLD , I M PLANNING FOR EARLY RETIRMENT, I HAVE 62 LAC IN EQUITY, 27 LAC FD, 3 LAC TOTAL IN MONTHLY POST OFFICE , CASH IN HAND 2 LAC, 1 SHOP , 1 LAND 25 LAC, HOUSE SELF OWNED ,NO LOAN , HOW TO PLAN EARLY RETIREMENT, PLS ADVICE
Ans: Planning early retirement requires careful assessment and structured allocation. Your current assets form a strong foundation. Let us assess your portfolio and refine your strategy.

1. Evaluate Existing Assets

Equity Investments: Rs 62 lakh in equity is a positive start. Equity is ideal for growth over the long term.

Fixed Deposits: Rs 27 lakh in FDs ensures stability but offers low returns.

Post Office Schemes: Monthly income from post office schemes is a stable source of passive income.

Real Estate: Owning a shop and land worth Rs 25 lakh adds diversification to your portfolio.

Cash in Hand: Rs 2 lakh provides liquidity for immediate needs.

Self-Owned House: Owning a house reduces living expenses post-retirement.

2. Establish Financial Goals

Early Retirement Corpus: Estimate annual post-retirement expenses and multiply by expected retirement years.

Emergency Fund: Maintain 12-18 months of expenses in liquid assets.

Inflation Protection: Plan to cover rising costs over the years.

3. Optimise Equity Portfolio

Diversification: Spread investments across large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds.

Active Management: Focus on regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner. Active funds outperform during market volatility.

Tax Efficiency: Plan withdrawals to optimise tax on long-term capital gains. LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

4. Fixed Deposits: Reassess Returns

Reallocate Part of FD: Move a portion into debt mutual funds. They offer better tax efficiency and higher returns.

Keep Liquidity: Retain funds for emergency and short-term needs.

5. Maximise Post Office Schemes

Continue Income Schemes: They provide assured monthly returns. This reduces dependency on other sources.

Reinvest Excess: Surplus post-office income can be allocated to equity or hybrid funds for growth.

6. Real Estate Management

Shop Rental Income: If not already rented, consider leasing the shop. This generates steady cash flow.

Land Utilisation: Evaluate selling or developing the land. Reinvest proceeds into growth-oriented investments.

7. Comprehensive Insurance

Health Insurance: Ensure coverage of Rs 25-50 lakh for you and your family. Upgrade if necessary.

Term Insurance: If dependents rely on you, maintain a term insurance policy.

8. Expense Management

Track Current Expenses: This helps estimate post-retirement needs accurately.

Cut Unnecessary Costs: Redirect savings into investments.

9. Passive Income Strategies

Hybrid Funds: Allocate part of your corpus to balanced advantage funds. These provide regular payouts and growth.

SWP in Mutual Funds: Systematic withdrawal plans ensure consistent income without depleting capital.

Dividend Income: Consider dividend-yielding equity funds. This offers periodic cash flow.

10. Tax Planning

Tax Efficiency: Utilise exemptions and deductions to minimise tax liabilities.

Reinvest LTCG: Gains reinvested in specified instruments avoid tax.

11. Retirement Corpus Assessment

Assess if the current portfolio aligns with your early retirement goals. Adjust investments for longevity and growth.

12. Long-Term Wealth Protection

Estate Planning: Prepare a will for seamless asset transfer.

Trusts: Consider creating a trust for dependents, if applicable.

13. Regular Reviews

Monitor Portfolio: Revisit allocations annually.

Adjust Investments: Rebalance to maintain desired asset allocation.

Final Insights

Your current assets provide a solid base for early retirement. Strategic allocation will ensure sustainability. Diversify, optimise returns, and secure passive income. Regular reviews are crucial for aligning investments with goals. With discipline, early retirement is achievable.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.inhttps://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
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Anu Krishna  |1503 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2025

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I've married a divorcee few years back who has two teenage kids, a boy and a girl studying final year chemical engineering. While I'm in ok terms with the boy, the girl who is supposed to be taken care of by her father according to court order but stays with us due to harrassment started showing her true colours by creating unnecessary problems, goaded by my wife's relatives who dont like her remarriage to me. I try very much to stay cool whenever she fights but sometimes lose my patience and shout at her. She is a very vengeful girl and I recently came to know that she is planning to file sexual harrassment charges against me. I am scared of the insults if she files such a case merely to hurt me and her mother. She openly mocks that the law and authorities will be always on her side. Kindly advise me on what precautions I can take to avoid getting framed and lose my dignity.
Ans: Dear manikantaprabhu,
Legal advice is a lawyer's domain and you can seek the guidance of one.
What does your wife have to say about her daughter's actions? Is she also unable to control what is happening? Why is the girl's father not in the picture?
Obviously the divorce of her parents hasn't been easy on the girl and at an impressionable age, they can easily be swayed by relatives at a vulnerable time like this. I would ask your wife to step in and take care of this as she is the only person who the girl can trust now. You have not shared what your wife is doing to manage the situation. She has a huge role to play right now in terms of providing emotional support to her daughter through a loving and caring environment. Things may change...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7931 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 11, 2025

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Dear Sir / Madam , i worked for 9 years with company name Atl , My LIC superannuation amount is total around 8 Lac . I am ok with not withdrawing 1/3rd amount Which Option should i choose to get maximum Pension/month and for maximum period , all clauses are mention below for your reference : 7. Option to choose pension i) Life pension ceasing at death, No purchase price shall be paid on death of beneficiary, No guaranteed payments. ii) Life pension with guaranteed payments for 5/10/15/20 years. No purchase price shall be paid on death or at end of 5/10/15/20 years guarantee. On survival to guaranteed payment pension shall be continued to be payable till life survives. (Please specify period) . iii) Life pension ceasing at death of member with return of capital (purchase price) to beneficiary alongwith group pension terminal bonus declared by LIC. iv) Joint life and Last survivor pension to member and his/her spouse (without any gauranteed payments as in case of 1) v) Joint life and last survivor pension to the member and his/her spouse with return of purchase price on death of last survivor alongwith group pension terminal bonus declared by LIC. 8. Mode of payment of pension (specify specifically) (MLY / QLY / HLY / YLY) 9. State whether member wants commutation of pension (Yes / No) as per prevalent Income Tax Rules. (Please note that at present member can commute maximum to 1/3 (33.33%). This proportion may range maximum upto 1/2 (50%) if member is not eligible to get group gratuity. rgds Bharat
Ans: Dear Bharat,

To maximize your monthly pension and ensure the longest duration, the best option depends on your needs:

Maximum Pension:

Option (i) – Life pension ceasing at death offers the highest monthly pension but stops at your death.
Option (ii) – Life pension with a guarantee period (10/15/20 years) ensures pension continues even if you pass away early, making it a safer choice.
Maximum Benefit for Family:

Option (v) – Joint life & last survivor pension with return of purchase price ensures your spouse continues receiving pension and the purchase price is refunded to heirs.
Best Choice for You
If you need maximum pension for life, go for Option (i) or Option (ii) with a 15/20-year guarantee.
If your spouse also needs financial security, choose Option (v).
For pension frequency, monthly (MLY) is best for regular income.

Since you are okay with not withdrawing 1/3rd, you can choose NO for commutation to get a higher pension amount.


Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP
Chief Financial Planner
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1503 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 05, 2025Hindi
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Hello, I'm a female (30). I got married in dec 2023. My husband was very particular with sharing all the bills equally and I agreed with it but after 2months of marriage he started asking me pay his EMI's which is more than 65k/m or take his home loan entirely on my name. This loan was taken before marriage. I refused to pay his loans, then he started emotionally abusing me. He calls me names, body shames me and compares me with other girls and says he deserves better. He says every other wife out there is better than me and me and my family doesn't give enough gifts to him like other families.He never helped me with any household chores despite both being employed and sharing equal bills. He asks to give him my entire salary but I can't do it because I took out a personal loan for my parents before marriage which I have to pay 75k/m . My husband was not aware of this. I want to file for a divorce but my parents are adamantly refusing to agree even though he know what kind of person he is and is even blaming me saying I do not know how to adjust and maintain a marriage. What should I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Any reason or anything that triggered him to demand that you pay up? Is this his way of testing if you also have commitment towards him and not just your parents (since you are paying their EMIs)?
Instead of being a life partner who shares their partner's choices from before the marriage, he has become someone who thrives on emotionally hassling you. What I see as red flag in his behavior is the fact that after agreeing to one thing before, changing stance later...WHY?
Then crying foul by abusing etc...WHY?
Honestly, check with yourself if he is indeed going to be a life partner who can share burdens, support and care for his spouse! If there's a doubt there, consider your options wisely as this person can hold onto money very tightly.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1503 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 06, 2025Hindi
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Hello mam , my bf is great he is nice and always supports me in my choices but sometimes he is overly jealous yesterday I told him that his friend talks very nicely because his friend and I had previous 1-2 conversation but at that time I didn't like the way he used to talks to me i also told this to my bf which he reply he is always like this but yesterday he talked to me in very nicely because now he knows that I am a important person in his friend life and I also this thing to my bf that I was too quick to judge he is not even that bad but just after my bf got upset and started to tell me if you like him that much then go and date him why are you dating him I was like no i am just telling he is not that bad as I have thought about him in the starting and he didn't listen to me and he is not even talking and it makes me feel like I did something wrong by talking to his friend which was also related to my bf
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You got yourself a boyfriend who can get jealous and act pretty immature; but in his defense he possibly didn't even know that he could act up like this, yeah?
Let his settle with these jealousies and insecurities and maybe a bit of reassurance from your side can ease him a bit BUT do let him know that this kind of reactions are not very welcome. Your relationship must be built on trust and understanding and NOT insecurities and doubts.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |534 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 10, 2025Hindi
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I have just turned 33. Have a handful friends and that is my social circle. I go on motorcycle rides and that group of people is limited to motorcycling. I have quit my regular job and started pursuing self employment opportunities. I was not in mindset for relationship but off late there is a girl who seems to be extremely interested in me. Funnily she says I am the most ideal guy she met but I have no idea what gives her that vibe. She told she loves me and I said I don't have such feelings for her. Yet we hang out frequently. Throughout these moments I get a feeling that I am becoming less emotional towards my surroundings. I used to love dogs, feed them, pet the ones near my house. Now I see them on the street, I don't care. I used to care about the kids on street begging, give them food whenever I could, now I don't care. Someone shares any kind of bad news, I sympathise as if I am delivering a template, I don't care. The girls says she loves me and I know deep down I have no emotional feelings for her. In retrospect I was not such a person as a child or teen. But between my childhood to now some of the things were a turning point. 1. At 4 yrs I was told my mother was dead and my father was someone I barely met a few hours on the weekend. 2. By 16 yrs I buried 3 out of my 5 dogs and realised that alcohol was killing my dad everyday 3. At 20 yrs death of my father 4. Between 20 to 25 I realised relatives and so called friends will gladly stab you when they have a chance 5. At 25 yrs sold my dad's property, lost my roots had to come back to Bangalore 6. Watched most of my friends sideline me considering I was an orphan with no future. 7. Getting rejected by girls as lack of parents meant I was a lose cannon and cannot be trusted. I never believed in hiding stuff particularly in emotionally involving relationships. I might be wrong about this girls and maybe she really likes me but I feel I have lost interest in such things or maybe I don't have the strength left to go through such emotionally draining stuff again just for nothing. I don't know what I want.
Ans: This girl might genuinely like you, but your hesitance isn’t about her—it’s about whether you can or even want to open yourself up to something that might eventually hurt again. When you’ve seen so much loss, the idea of forming attachments can feel more like a risk than a reward.

The emotional numbness you’re experiencing isn’t unusual for someone who’s been through repeated trauma. It’s a coping mechanism. But the fact that you’re aware of it means there’s still a part of you that wants to feel something again—you just don’t know how or if it’s worth it.

Maybe instead of forcing yourself to figure everything out right now, just sit with it. Spend time with this girl without the pressure of defining anything. See if, over time, you actually enjoy her presence or if it feels like an obligation. If you don’t feel anything, that’s okay too—at least you’ll have clarity.

And if you ever want to reconnect with the part of you that once cared deeply, start small. Maybe one day, feed a dog again. Maybe one day, give food to a street kid—not because you should, but just to see if it stirs anything. No pressure, no expectations.

You’ve survived things that would break most people. It’s okay to take your time figuring out what you want next.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1503 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 06, 2025Hindi
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Two years ago, I got married to my boss after dating for three years. He was previously married and had wanted me to quit my job and take care of my family. The first year went well but his behaviour changed after our first wedding anniversary. He has been staying late at work, avoiding my calls and often goes on outstation meetings while I take care of his ageing parents and 5 year old son from his first wife. My mother suspects he may be having an affair. I am 32. Since our communication has reduced, I feel stuck and helpless at home. My friends tell me that after marriage, most men behave the same way. Is it true? Am I overthinking too much? How do I find out?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
No, you are not overthinking this. One way to find out is to actually 'Call Out' his behavior without actually complaining to him. He needs to understand that you did not marry to look after his family.
Also, what made you leave your work life? Kindly get back to working and as you engage with people at work and outside, he will realize that you are not just someone who is a going to take on his responsibilities at home. It's time you balanced home and work now. Now, whether he has an affair or not is something that is left to evidence of the matter. Till then, it will only be guess work. But, you do need to re-establish your identity as a working woman who also cares for her home. Possibly, this change in you, will bring him back on track as he will no longer have the comfort of 'dumping' the house work onto you AND going about hsi own business. Try this and see what happens.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1503 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2025

I am 48 years old man, have always been in love with my younger brother(44 years) (cousin). He and I were best friends since childhood and I am too much in love with him. For last 23 years, we have parted (fought) and I have avoided him like anything. He knew all about my love (letters/stalking/begging/crying) and thats why he distanced himself from me. He came back after 23 years (only on whatsapp chat), and again i started crying and what not and emotionally totally unstable. My wife, kids and even i am surprised how bad it is within me. He wants me as a friend (not overly emotionally invested). How can I be a normal human being with him? Is it even possible? I hate being like this, how can i let go.... It's for so long what help do i need if any.
Ans: Dear test,
When you allow your emotions to self-destruct, that is exactly what will happen. You have been unable to accept that your path and your cousin's paths are different...you have gone on to build a family and then you have decided to break down all over again. How do you expect your family to understand all this?
What you call as LOVE; is it possibly an attachment for him? Dependence on him for attention, love, validation? You need to introspect and grow out of this OR settle this in a way that you can get back your peace of mind. At this moment with the information that you have shared, I can guide you only as much!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

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