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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7014 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 23, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 18, 2024Hindi
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I am 43 years old working in IT company.i have 3 years daughter.currenyI earn 1.2 lakhs per year.Currently i have total invest in mf and stocks approx 70 lakhs.I have 2 lakhs in NPS and 3 lakhs in liquid fund for emergency purpose.i am investing monthly 50 lakha in mf and 20 lakha in stocks.My goal is accumulate 7 cr at the age of 60 years.i am planning to retire at the age of 52 and so something else till 60.can you help where i am in right direction in in my investment or not

Ans: Your commitment to securing your financial future is commendable, especially considering your responsibilities as a parent and your aspirations for early retirement. Let's assess your current investment approach and whether it aligns with your retirement goals.

I admire your dedication to financial planning, balancing your career, family, and long-term aspirations. It's essential to review your investment strategy periodically to ensure it remains aligned with your goals.

Assessing Current Investments
Analyzing Portfolio Composition
Your investment portfolio, comprising mutual funds, stocks, NPS, and liquid funds, reflects a diversified approach. This diversification helps manage risk and maximize returns over the long term.

Evaluating Investment Amounts
Investing 50 lakhs monthly in mutual funds and 20 lakhs in stocks demonstrates a significant commitment to wealth accumulation. However, it's crucial to ensure that these investments are in line with your risk tolerance and retirement objectives.

Aligning Investments with Retirement Goals
Retirement Age and Corpus Target
Planning to retire at 52 and accumulate 7 crores by age 60 is an ambitious yet achievable goal. To reach this target, it's essential to assess the adequacy of your current investment strategy and make any necessary adjustments.

Reviewing Asset Allocation
Considering your age and retirement horizon, reassessing your asset allocation is vital. Gradually shifting towards a more conservative allocation as you approach retirement can help safeguard your wealth against market volatility.

Evaluating Retirement Income Sources
NPS Contribution
With 2 lakhs invested in NPS, you're availing of a tax-efficient retirement savings avenue. Ensure you review your NPS investment periodically to optimize returns and monitor its alignment with your overall retirement strategy.

Liquid Fund for Emergency Fund
Maintaining 3 lakhs in a liquid fund for emergencies is prudent financial planning. This ensures you have readily accessible funds to address unexpected expenses without compromising your long-term investments.

Seeking Professional Guidance
Importance of Financial Planning
As a Certified Financial Planner, I emphasize the significance of regular financial reviews and adjustments. Consulting with a financial advisor can provide valuable insights into optimizing your investment strategy and achieving your retirement goals.

Addressing Risk Factors
Consideration should be given to risk factors such as market volatility, inflation, and longevity risk. A holistic financial plan addresses these risks through appropriate asset allocation, diversification, and contingency planning.

Conclusion
While your current investment strategy demonstrates diligence and foresight, periodic reviews and adjustments are essential to ensure it remains aligned with your retirement objectives. By seeking professional guidance and staying proactive, you're on the right path to achieving financial security and retirement freedom.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7014 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 31, 2024Hindi
Money
Dear sir, I am running 43. My current investment portfolio is 27 Lakh in PPF, 3 Lakh in Mutual Funds with investment in 8 mutual fund with 1000 sip every month for each funds. Approx 10 lakh of gold, 5 lakhs in savings and 8 lakhs in stocks. I am yet to start a family and intend to have 2 kids if not atleast 1 as of now. My current salary is approx 80,000 a month. Kindly help me in guidance if my investment portfolio is right and what are other options where I can invest now on. I have my own house and EMI is 8000 every month. I also intend to buy new home worth 1 Cr approx. I have no fix plans to retire at 60 but would like to have monthly interest income of 1 lakh per month in next 18 years. So kindly guide me. Thank you,
Ans: Congratulations on maintaining a well-rounded investment portfolio at 43. Your diverse investments in PPF, mutual funds, gold, savings, and stocks are commendable. Your steady salary, owning a home, and planning for the future show a solid foundation for financial stability. Let’s analyze your current portfolio, identify potential improvements, and suggest strategies to achieve your financial goals.

Assessing Your Current Investment Portfolio
Public Provident Fund (PPF)
Your PPF investment of Rs 27 lakhs is a strong, secure component of your portfolio. PPF offers tax-free returns and safety, making it a reliable long-term investment. Continue contributing to maximize the benefits of compound interest and tax advantages.

Mutual Funds
You have Rs 3 lakhs in mutual funds, investing Rs 1,000 per month in each of 8 different funds. Diversification is good, but having too many funds with small SIP amounts may dilute returns. Consider consolidating into fewer, well-performing funds to optimize growth. Actively managed funds can provide better returns compared to index funds.

Actively Managed Funds vs. Index Funds

Actively managed funds are overseen by professional managers aiming to outperform the market. Despite higher fees, they often yield better long-term returns. Index funds, on the other hand, replicate market indices and offer average returns. For your goals, actively managed funds are more suitable.

Regular Funds vs. Direct Funds

Investing through regular funds involves a commission for mutual fund distributors (MFDs). The expertise of a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) ensures better fund selection and management. Direct funds save on commission but lack professional oversight. Regular funds offer better-managed investments, making them a wise choice.

Gold
Your gold investment of Rs 10 lakhs is a good hedge against inflation and economic uncertainty. Gold provides stability and can be a safe store of value. Consider allocating a portion of your investment to sovereign gold bonds or gold ETFs for better returns and safety.

Savings
Having Rs 5 lakhs in savings provides liquidity and security. Ensure this fund is easily accessible for emergencies. Consider moving a portion to a high-interest savings account or liquid mutual funds for better returns while maintaining liquidity.

Stocks
An Rs 8 lakh investment in stocks indicates a willingness to take higher risks for higher returns. Continue monitoring your stock portfolio and consider diversifying across sectors to manage risk better. Avoid excessive concentration in a single stock or sector.

Financial Goals and Future Planning
Monthly Interest Income Goal
You aim to have a monthly interest income of Rs 1 lakh in 18 years. This translates to Rs 12 lakhs annually. To achieve this, you need a well-diversified portfolio generating sufficient returns while preserving capital.

Strategies for Achieving Financial Goals
Increase Mutual Fund SIPs
Increase your SIP contributions in mutual funds. Focus on a mix of equity and debt funds to balance risk and return. Equity funds provide growth potential, while debt funds offer stability.

Review and Consolidate Mutual Funds

Review your current mutual funds and consolidate them into fewer, high-performing funds. This ensures better management and potential for higher returns. Actively managed funds can be a good choice for achieving higher growth.

National Pension System (NPS)
Consider investing in the National Pension System (NPS). It offers tax benefits and a mix of equity, debt, and government securities. NPS can provide a steady income post-retirement, complementing your other investments.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)
Set up a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) from mutual funds to generate regular income. SWPs provide flexibility and potential for capital appreciation. This can be an effective way to achieve your monthly income goal in retirement.

Diversification for Stability and Growth
Debt Mutual Funds

Include debt mutual funds in your portfolio. They provide stability and regular income with lower risk compared to equity funds. Debt funds suit medium-term goals and act as a buffer against market volatility.

Equity Mutual Funds

Allocate a significant portion of your portfolio to equity mutual funds. They offer high growth potential, crucial for building a retirement corpus. Focus on funds with a good track record and consistent performance.

Insurance: Protection First
Life Insurance
Ensure you have adequate life insurance coverage to protect your family's financial future. Avoid investment-cum-insurance policies like ULIPs, LIC endowment plans, as they offer lower returns and inadequate insurance cover. Consider surrendering such policies and reinvesting the proceeds in mutual funds.

Health Insurance
Adequate health insurance is crucial. Review your existing health coverage and consider increasing it if necessary. Medical expenses can be substantial, and comprehensive health insurance will protect your savings.

Emergency Fund: The Safety Net
Maintain an emergency fund equivalent to 6-12 months of expenses. This fund should be easily accessible and kept in a high-interest savings account or liquid mutual fund. An emergency fund provides financial security against unforeseen expenses.

Saving for a New Home
You plan to buy a new home worth Rs 1 crore. Estimate the down payment and loan amount. Save for the down payment through a mix of fixed deposits, debt funds, and balanced funds. Ensure your EMI is manageable within your monthly budget.

Tax Planning
Efficient tax planning maximizes your disposable income. Utilize available deductions under Section 80C, 80D, and others. Your contributions to PPF, NPS, and mutual funds (ELSS) help in tax savings while building your corpus.

Reviewing and Rebalancing Your Portfolio
Regularly review your portfolio’s performance. Market conditions and personal goals change over time. Rebalance your investments to maintain the desired asset allocation. A CFP can provide valuable insights and adjustments.

Financial Discipline and Continuous Learning
Maintaining financial discipline is key to achieving your goals. Automate your investments to ensure consistency. Stay informed about financial markets and new investment opportunities. Financial literacy empowers better decision-making.

Seeking Professional Guidance
A CFP provides personalized advice aligned with your goals. Their expertise in financial planning ensures optimal investment strategies, tax efficiency, and risk management. Regular consultations help in adapting to changing circumstances and market conditions.

Conclusion
Your current investment portfolio is strong, but there are areas for improvement. Diversify your investments, increase SIP contributions, and focus on achieving your long-term goals. With careful planning and disciplined investing, you can achieve a secure financial future.

Invest wisely, stay disciplined, and enjoy a secure financial future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7014 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 03, 2024Hindi
Money
Hello, I am 38 years old and a sole earning member of 5 people family. I am earning around 2 lakhs per month from my business, currently i have 20 lakhs in mutual fund, 80 lakhs in fd and 10 lakhs in stocks, my monthly expense is 1.8 lacs which includes 42000 in mutual funds every month. I wish to retire at age of 45 and wants to have atleast 2 lacs every month towardsy expense, however i have a daughter of 9 years and her education and marriage also needs to he taken care off. Please suggest how should i invest further since the remaining 6 lacs are invested in fd's only.
Ans: I understand your situation and goals. You're in a commendable position with your current savings and investments. Let's create a strategic plan to help you achieve your retirement goals and secure your daughter's future.

Evaluating Your Current Financial Position
Income and Expenses
Monthly Income: Rs. 2 lakhs
Monthly Expenses: Rs. 1.8 lakhs (includes Rs. 42,000 in mutual funds)
Investments
Mutual Funds: Rs. 20 lakhs
Fixed Deposits (FD): Rs. 80 lakhs
Stocks: Rs. 10 lakhs
Monthly Savings: Rs. 42,000 (invested in mutual funds)
You are currently saving Rs. 20,000 per month after accounting for your mutual fund investment. This saving rate is crucial for your future financial planning.

Retirement Planning
Retirement Goal
Retirement Age: 45 years
Monthly Retirement Income Needed: Rs. 2 lakhs
You have 7 years until your retirement. Your goal is to generate Rs. 2 lakhs per month to cover your expenses during retirement.

Education and Marriage Planning
Your daughter is 9 years old. Her education and marriage will require significant funds. Let's estimate the costs and plan accordingly.

Education Costs
Assuming she will start college at age 18, you have 9 years to save for her higher education.

Estimated Education Cost: Rs. 25 lakhs (today's value)
Marriage Costs
Assuming marriage at age 25, you have 16 years to save for her marriage.

Estimated Marriage Cost: Rs. 20 lakhs (today's value)
Investment Strategy
Current Investments Analysis
Your current portfolio is well diversified but needs optimization for your retirement and your daughter’s future.

Mutual Funds (Rs. 20 lakhs): Provides growth through equity exposure.
Fixed Deposits (Rs. 80 lakhs): Safe but low returns.
Stocks (Rs. 10 lakhs): High risk but potentially high returns.
Optimizing Fixed Deposits
Fixed deposits provide safety but yield lower returns. Diversifying into higher-yielding investments can help achieve your goals faster.

Reallocate Rs. 40 lakhs from FDs to Mutual Funds: Invest in a mix of equity and debt funds for balanced growth.
Keep Rs. 40 lakhs in FDs for Safety: These can serve as an emergency fund and provide stability.
Mutual Funds
Continue your Rs. 42,000 monthly SIP in mutual funds. Consider increasing this amount gradually.

Target Annual Growth: Aim for 10-12% annual returns from mutual funds.
Stocks
Maintain your Rs. 10 lakhs in stocks but consider adding more blue-chip and dividend-paying stocks for stability and income.

Diversify Stock Portfolio: Focus on blue-chip stocks with good growth potential and dividends.
Additional Investments
You have Rs. 6 lakhs in remaining FD investments. Reallocate these funds to achieve better returns.

Invest in Balanced Funds: These funds provide a mix of equity and debt, offering moderate risk and returns.
Calculating Future Value of Investments
Retirement Corpus
Assuming a balanced portfolio growth rate of 10%, let's estimate the future value of your investments.

Current Mutual Funds (Rs. 20 lakhs):

Future Value in 7 years: Rs. 20 lakhs * (1 + 0.10)^7 ≈ Rs. 38.58 lakhs
Monthly SIP (Rs. 42,000):

Future Value in 7 years: Rs. 42,000 * [(1 + 0.10/12)^(12*7) - 1] / (0.10/12) ≈ Rs. 59.35 lakhs
Reallocated FDs to Mutual Funds (Rs. 40 lakhs):

Future Value in 7 years: Rs. 40 lakhs * (1 + 0.10)^7 ≈ Rs. 77.16 lakhs
Total Future Value of Mutual Funds: Rs. 38.58 lakhs + Rs. 59.35 lakhs + Rs. 77.16 lakhs ≈ Rs. 175.09 lakhs

Stock Portfolio
Assuming a growth rate of 12%:

Future Value of Stocks (Rs. 10 lakhs):
Future Value in 7 years: Rs. 10 lakhs * (1 + 0.12)^7 ≈ Rs. 22.1 lakhs
Fixed Deposits
Assuming a growth rate of 6% for the remaining Rs. 40 lakhs in FDs:

Future Value in 7 years: Rs. 40 lakhs * (1 + 0.06)^7 ≈ Rs. 60.5 lakhs
Total Retirement Corpus
Mutual Funds: Rs. 175.09 lakhs
Stocks: Rs. 22.1 lakhs
Fixed Deposits: Rs. 60.5 lakhs
Total Corpus: Rs. 257.69 lakhs
Monthly Withdrawal Strategy
To ensure a sustainable withdrawal rate, follow the 4% rule, which states you can withdraw 4% of your retirement corpus annually.

Annual Withdrawal: 4% of Rs. 257.69 lakhs ≈ Rs. 10.3 lakhs
Monthly Withdrawal: Rs. 10.3 lakhs / 12 ≈ Rs. 85,833
This amount falls short of your Rs. 2 lakhs monthly requirement. You need to generate additional income or adjust your lifestyle expectations.

Generating Additional Income
Consider part-time work, consulting, or passive income sources post-retirement.

Consulting: Use your business expertise to consult part-time.
Passive Income: Invest in dividend-paying stocks or rental properties for additional income.
Education and Marriage Planning for Daughter
Education Fund
Invest Rs. 25 lakhs in a mix of equity and debt funds with a 9-year horizon.

Future Value of Rs. 25 lakhs at 10% for 9 years: Rs. 25 lakhs * (1 + 0.10)^9 ≈ Rs. 59.1 lakhs
This amount should cover higher education costs.

Marriage Fund
Invest Rs. 20 lakhs with a 16-year horizon.

Future Value of Rs. 20 lakhs at 10% for 16 years: Rs. 20 lakhs * (1 + 0.10)^16 ≈ Rs. 89.85 lakhs
This amount should cover marriage expenses.

Insurance and Emergency Fund
Ensure you have adequate life and health insurance coverage.

Life Insurance: Secure a term insurance policy covering at least 10 times your annual income.
Health Insurance: Comprehensive health insurance for your family.
Emergency Fund: Maintain an emergency fund covering 6-12 months of expenses in a liquid form.
Review and Adjust Regularly
Regularly review your financial plan to ensure it stays on track.

Annual Review: Assess your portfolio's performance and make necessary adjustments.
Rebalance Portfolio: Rebalance your investments to maintain your desired asset allocation.
Genuine Compliments and Encouragement
Your current financial discipline and foresight are commendable. You are taking significant steps to secure your family's future. Stay focused and committed to your goals.

Conclusion
Retiring at 45 and securing your family's future requires strategic planning. Optimize your current investments, maintain disciplined savings, and ensure adequate insurance coverage. Regular reviews and adjustments will keep your plan on track. Consider additional income sources post-retirement for a comfortable lifestyle.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7014 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 07, 2024

Money
My investment as of now 2 Girls SSY with 16 lakh and 9 lakh depositing very year 3 lakh combined for both daughters. NPS 1.5 lakh with 50 K per year . PF 44Lakh with 10 K additional deduction per month. Mutual fund 40 Lakh with 80 K per month. Shars 11.5 Lakh . NSC of 12 Lakh re investing every 5 years. want to retire at 46 right now age 40 per month salary in hand 1.65 lakh is 8 CR enough as I own my house. what should i do more to have 8 CR at the age of 46 means in another 6 to 7 years. daughters age 8 years and 4 years . Family of 4
Ans: You have diligently built a robust portfolio and taken critical steps to secure your family’s future. Your investments across the Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY), NPS, Provident Fund, mutual funds, and stocks showcase a well-rounded approach to growth and stability.

Your goal is to accumulate Rs. 8 crore by age 46, which is 6-7 years away. Let’s examine your current allocations and recommend strategies to help you achieve your target with minimum risk while ensuring long-term growth for your family.

1. Review of Current Investments

Your investments reflect a thoughtful approach across different instruments. Here’s an overview of their potential impact:

Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY): With Rs. 16 lakh and Rs. 9 lakh invested for your daughters, contributing Rs. 3 lakh annually is ideal for long-term growth. The SSY interest rate is attractive, offering good returns that can cover educational expenses.

National Pension System (NPS): A yearly investment of Rs. 50,000 in NPS provides moderate growth. However, note that NPS is primarily for retirement benefits, with partial liquidity before 60.

Provident Fund (PF): Your PF of Rs. 44 lakh and Rs. 10,000 monthly addition offers stability. PF rates are generally higher than most fixed-income products, making it a great retirement vehicle.

Mutual Funds: Investing Rs. 40 lakh in mutual funds with an Rs. 80,000 monthly SIP indicates a strong equity focus. This will support higher returns in the long term, aiding in reaching your corpus goal.

Stocks: A portfolio of Rs. 11.5 lakh in direct stocks adds diversification. Continue monitoring these holdings for optimal growth.

National Savings Certificate (NSC): Your Rs. 12 lakh in NSC, reinvested every five years, offers secure returns, though generally lower than equity. NSC is a good component for capital preservation.

2. Retirement Corpus Analysis

To achieve Rs. 8 crore in 6-7 years, let’s consider a balanced growth-focused approach. Your current portfolio value and ongoing contributions provide a solid base. Given a mix of equity, fixed income, and SSY, your potential to reach Rs. 8 crore looks realistic, provided market returns align favorably over time.

Suggested Strategy Adjustments:

Increase SIPs marginally for mutual funds over the next few years. A 10-15% SIP increment can significantly compound your wealth by your target age.

Evaluate your stock portfolio periodically. Aim for quality growth-oriented stocks and avoid high-risk or speculative investments to preserve capital.

3. Enhancing Your Portfolio Strategy

A clear roadmap to enhance growth while managing risk is essential. Here’s a refined strategy for your goal of Rs. 8 crore:

Mutual Funds: Continue prioritizing actively managed funds over index funds. Actively managed funds allow better control over market volatility and have the potential to outperform. Consider increasing your SIP in diversified funds and explore funds that focus on mid- and large-cap equities for stable returns. Avoid direct funds; regular funds through an MFD with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) provide valuable guidance, optimizing returns with tailored investment insights.

National Savings Certificate (NSC): Consider NSC as a fixed-income backup. Given its low return rate, prioritize reinvestment only if its returns remain competitive against alternative fixed-income options.

National Pension System (NPS): NPS will add value post-retirement, but it lacks liquidity before retirement age. While your annual Rs. 50,000 investment benefits from tax deductions, avoid further increasing it as it will not contribute to your 6-7 year goal.

4. Tax Efficiency and Portfolio Rebalancing

With long-term capital gains (LTCG) on equity mutual funds and short-term gains taxed at 20%, consider:

Setting a long-term strategy to avoid frequent transactions. This will minimize LTCG tax, enhancing net returns. Only redeem equities if essential.

For debt funds, consider short-term fixed-income instruments as they align better with your income tax bracket.

5. Education and Marriage Fund for Your Daughters

Planning for your daughters' future is crucial. SSY is a good foundation, but enhancing it with additional investments will strengthen this corpus:

Balanced Funds: Consider adding balanced mutual funds for your daughters’ future needs. They offer moderate growth with lower risk, making them ideal for long-term goals.

SIPs with Step-Ups: A 10% yearly step-up in your SIPs allocated for their education and marriage could accumulate a strong corpus by the time they reach college-going age.

6. Emergency Fund and Insurance Coverage

Your focus on wealth accumulation should not overlook risk management. Here are essential adjustments:

Increase Emergency Fund: Ensure that your emergency fund covers at least 12 months of expenses. Allocate Rs. 8-10 lakh across liquid instruments like short-term debt funds for instant access during unforeseen events.

Insurance Adequacy: Ensure you have sufficient term insurance to cover your family’s financial security. Verify that your life insurance covers liabilities and future education and lifestyle expenses for your children.

7. Structured Approach Towards Asset Allocation

Balancing your portfolio to align with a moderate risk tolerance for the next 6-7 years will reduce potential losses while achieving growth.

Fixed Income: Gradually increase your PF and other debt allocations, as these provide stability and guaranteed returns. This ensures a steady income during volatile market phases.

Equity Allocation: Keep equities dominant in your allocation, as they are the main growth driver. Equity mutual funds, specifically, will play a significant role in achieving your Rs. 8 crore target.

Regular Portfolio Review: Annually review and adjust your portfolio. A CFP can guide you on specific fund performances and market conditions, ensuring your portfolio stays on track.

8. Aligning Goals with Family Security

Since you aim to retire early, ensuring the financial security of your family is essential. Here’s how to safeguard your family’s future:

Establish a Family Trust: Consider setting up a family trust if you aim to secure and pass on assets seamlessly. It can reduce inheritance issues and provide tax-efficient transfers for your children’s benefit.

Child-Specific Funds: Allocate a separate, conservative fund for each child’s major expenses (e.g., marriage or higher education). Consider child plans with a mix of equity and debt, specifically designed to build wealth for such milestones.

9. Final Insights

Your financial journey so far has been effective and well-structured. Minor adjustments, increased SIPs, and a focus on asset allocation will strengthen your goal of achieving Rs. 8 crore by age 46. Regularly consult a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to stay on track with evolving market trends and optimize your wealth.

Implementing these strategies will not only help you achieve your retirement corpus but also ensure a secure and comfortable future for your family.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |414 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 04, 2024
Relationship
my gf was physical(intercourse) just for once with her ex and her ex cheated on her she just had a 2 month relationship with her ex. and after that around just after a month we came in relationship and its been 2 months we are in a relationship we both go to same college but due to house problem she doesn't attend classes basically we are in a long distance relationship and she still remember him and when she goes to places where she meet her ex she still have flashback She is not fully with me even when i just ask her for a normal kiss she refuses and tells me what so hurry but when i asked her does she want to stay with me she told me yes i want to stay with you and she is ready to marry me as well when time comes she even told me that timely she will have feelings for me And for me all this is new this is my first relationship what should i do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Refusing for a kiss isn't as concerning as her saying she will have feelings for you. Not everyone is ready for intimacy at the same time in all their relationships. As I mentioned earlier, there can be several reasons for this behavior. Please have an open conversation with her. Let her know that her behavior is bothering you and you want some clarity. If she still continues to say the same thing, you have the option to rethink the relationship.

I understand that you are feeling disturbed; it's not easy being on the receiving end. Please feel free to pick yourself first. You deserve someone who loves you completely.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |414 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am 28, will be engaged in 3-4 months. It's an arranged marriage. I have met the girl one time, that too she was accompanied with her parents as her family is very conservative. We spoke privately for about half an hour. I know it's still not enough but I was able to have a good conversation. She was nervous at first but I made her feel comfortable and it was then time well spent. She is a sweet girl, even my maa papa like this girl but on the other hand, I am also getting worried as the days are coming near. Sometimes I feel like postponing the event. Is this normal? I also fear of things that happens in nowadays like getting divorce, extra marital affairs, alimony etc. What if she finds a better partner after marriage? Will she leave me? Due to this I cannot have proper sleep recently. Any suggestions to calm my nerves?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Many people get cold feet before getting married. It is very normal. All your questions are valid but you need to understand that in every relationship, it all comes down to trust. Whether you marry this woman or someone else, you have to trust her. And no one can really tell what the future holds. So we focus on the present and hope for the best.

I suggest speaking to your would-be partner a little more in the meantime. Getting to know her will put these doubts to rest. I'm sure she is equally concerned about what kind of person you are. Moreover, it is always a good idea to get to know each other better before committing for a lifetime. And, in case, you still think you need to postpone the event, do not shy away from doing so. It is better to take some time and make the right decision than to make a wrong decision in a hurry.

Hope this helps.
Best Wishes.

...Read more

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed Khan  |123 Answers  |Ask -

Physiotherapist - Answered on Nov 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 15, 2024Hindi
Listen
Health
Hi sir , Iam male 27 years planning to reduce my current weight of 86KG hence planning to hit the gym. Iam concerned of abdominal fat. I left gym 3 yrs back when my weight was average 69kgs. However due to no physical activity weight increased. Now iam planning for reducing weight and also improve my strength with good muscular lean body not bulk. Please guide me sir thanks
Ans: It’s wonderful that you’re enthusiastic about getting back into the gym to work towards weight loss and a lean, toned physique! As a physiotherapist, I suggest scheduling regular check-ins with a physiotherapist to monitor your progress and make any necessary adjustments to your exercise routine. To effectively lose fat, particularly around the abdomen, while building muscle, try a balanced approach that incorporates both cardio and strength training. Start with 20-30 minutes of moderate-intensity cardio—like brisk walking, cycling, or jogging—three to five times per week to increase calorie burn. For strength training, focus on compound exercises such as squats, lunges, push-ups, and rows, with three sessions per week. Begin with lighter weights, increasing gradually as your strength builds, and focus on good form to develop lean muscle without bulk.

Including core exercises, like planks, Russian twists, and leg raises, will help to strengthen and tone your abdominal muscles; however, remember that fat loss from specific areas requires overall body fat reduction. A high-protein, balanced diet will be crucial for supporting muscle growth and managing hunger, so aim to reduce processed foods and sugars. Consistency is essential—maintain a regular exercise schedule, and ensure you have rest days for recovery. With dedication, you’ll see steady improvements over time. Best of luck, and don’t hesitate to reach out if you need further guidance!

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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