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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7758 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 28, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Saikrishna Question by Saikrishna on Oct 25, 2024Hindi
Money

Dear Sir, I am 35 years old and starting a SIP in mutual funds from next month with a monthly investment of 50,000. I have selected the following funds and allocated the amount accordingly: Tata Small Cap Fund Direct Growth – 5,000/month Quant Mid Cap Fund Direct Growth – 15,000/month Motilal Oswal Large and Midcap Fund Direct Growth – 20,000/month DSP ELSS Tax Saver Direct Plan Growth – 10,000/month My primary goal is to accumulate corpus 1.5 crore by the 7th year to build a villa. Could you please review my selection and allocation? I would appreciate your suggestions on any modifications or alternative funds to help achieve my target. Looking forward to your valuable advice. Thank you.

Ans: Starting a SIP of Rs. 50,000 per month is a great step towards achieving your financial goal. You’ve chosen a good mix of small-cap, mid-cap, large & mid-cap, and ELSS funds. However, meeting the Rs. 1.5 crore target in 7 years will need careful planning and monitoring. Let’s assess your portfolio and suggest any improvements for better alignment with your goal.

Fund Selection: A Balanced Approach with Gaps
Small-Cap Allocation (Rs. 5,000/month): Small-cap funds carry higher risks but have the potential for high growth over the long term. However, their performance can be volatile, especially during market corrections. A moderate allocation is appropriate, but ensure it aligns with your risk appetite.

Mid-Cap Allocation (Rs. 15,000/month): Mid-cap funds offer a mix of growth and stability. They tend to outperform large-cap funds in favorable markets but can also be more volatile. Your current allocation to mid-caps is a bit aggressive but can accelerate wealth creation if managed well.

Large & Mid-Cap Allocation (Rs. 20,000/month): These funds provide exposure to both stability and growth, making them a good choice. This allocation will balance the risks of your small-cap and mid-cap investments while ensuring some stability.

ELSS Allocation (Rs. 10,000/month): ELSS funds offer the dual benefit of tax-saving and potential wealth creation. However, these funds come with a 3-year lock-in period, which limits liquidity. Ensure that the amount invested here aligns with your tax-saving requirements.

Are Your Current Allocations Sufficient?
Aggressive Allocation: Around 40% of your SIP is focused on mid-cap and small-cap categories. While this can deliver higher returns, it increases risk. If the market underperforms, it could delay your corpus-building goal.

ELSS Overweight?: If your primary goal is wealth creation, a Rs. 10,000 monthly SIP in ELSS may be excessive, especially since the funds are locked for three years. You could consider reducing this allocation if your tax-saving needs are already met.

Recommendations for Portfolio Improvement
Add Large-Cap Funds for Stability:
Consider adding a large-cap fund to provide stability. Large-cap funds perform better during market volatility, reducing the impact of downturns. This will also smoothen your returns over the 7-year period.

Balance Between Mid-Cap and Large & Mid-Cap:
The Rs. 15,000 allocation to mid-caps may be reduced slightly. Redirect a portion of this amount towards large-cap funds to create a more stable portfolio. This adjustment will maintain growth while lowering risk.

Review the ELSS Investment:
If Rs. 10,000 in ELSS exceeds your tax-planning requirements, you can consider diverting some of this amount to other categories. However, if you need the tax benefits, the allocation is reasonable.

Active vs. Direct Fund Investment: A Key Insight
You’ve chosen direct plans for your SIP investments. While direct plans have lower expense ratios, they may not suit all investors.

Regular Plans with CFP Assistance: Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) via regular plans offers personalized advice. This guidance can help with fund rebalancing and tax planning, crucial for meeting your villa goal.

Direct Plans: Hidden Limitations: Direct investors often miss out on timely advice and active monitoring. Without professional oversight, investors may struggle to react to market changes effectively. This could affect your ability to stay on track with your financial goal.

Monitoring and Rebalancing Your Investments
Annual Reviews Are Critical: The market will go through different cycles during the 7-year period. Reviewing your portfolio annually will help you make necessary adjustments. This is where a CFP can guide you by rebalancing your portfolio.

Align with Your Goal Timeline: As you approach the 7th year, gradually shift a portion of your funds to safer instruments. This will help protect your corpus from market volatility.

Tax Implications to Watch Out For
Equity Mutual Fund Taxation: Keep an eye on the capital gains tax rules. Long-term capital gains (LTCG) beyond Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%. Short-term gains are taxed at 20%. Since you are targeting a 7-year goal, most of your gains will likely fall under LTCG taxation.

Plan for Tax-Efficient Withdrawals: As you approach your goal, plan your withdrawals to minimize tax liability. This will help you preserve more of your hard-earned corpus.

Building a Contingency Plan
Emergency Fund: Ensure you have an emergency fund covering at least 6 months of expenses. This will prevent the need to withdraw from your SIP investments if unexpected expenses arise.

Insurance Coverage: Evaluate your life and health insurance coverage. Having adequate insurance ensures that your financial goals remain on track, even in the face of unforeseen events.

Alternative Strategies to Boost Wealth Creation
Increase SIP Contributions Gradually: If possible, increase your SIP amount every year in line with your income growth. Even a 10-15% increase can significantly boost your corpus by the end of 7 years.

Explore Hybrid Funds: Adding a hybrid fund can provide exposure to both equity and debt. This reduces volatility while still offering growth potential. Hybrid funds are especially useful as you near your goal.

Track Fund Performance Regularly: Keep a close eye on the performance of your selected funds. If a fund underperforms consistently, switch to a better-performing fund.

Final Insights
Your Rs. 50,000 SIP plan is a solid start towards building a villa in 7 years. However, slight adjustments can improve your portfolio’s stability and performance. Consider diversifying with large-cap funds and review your ELSS allocation.

Working with a CFP through regular funds can also offer professional guidance, ensuring your portfolio stays on track. Regular reviews, tax-efficient planning, and contingency measures will further strengthen your investment strategy.

With disciplined investing and timely monitoring, you can achieve your dream of building a villa while minimizing risks.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7758 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 27, 2024

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Puneet Asked on - Jun 16, 2024 Hello, I'm 35 years old. I'm planning to start a new cycle of SIPs and aspiration is to create a corpus of 1.5 crores in next 10 years. Monthly SIP is 50,000. Below are my mutual funds chosen: Quant midcap fund: 10,000, ICICI Prudential Bluechip Fund: 10,000, Quant Flexi Cap Fund: 10,000, SBI Small Cap Fund: 2,000, SBI PSU Fund: 8,000. Please suggest: - if the above chosen mutual funds are appropriate for this wealth generation, however, if no, please suggest alternatives and also advise if the amount chosen is apportioned is realistic. - if this SIP amount is adequate enough to generate the desired corpus? All are direct growth plans. Should I include Parag Parekh Flexi Cap Fund as well? Regards, Puneet
Ans: Puneet,

Your aspiration to create a corpus of Rs 1.5 crores in 10 years is commendable. Let's evaluate your current mutual fund choices and the allocation.

Current Allocation

Quant Midcap Fund: Rs 10,000

ICICI Prudential Bluechip Fund: Rs 10,000

Quant Flexi Cap Fund: Rs 10,000

SBI Small Cap Fund: Rs 2,000

SBI PSU Fund: Rs 8,000

Evaluation of Funds

Diversification: You have chosen a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, flexi-cap, small-cap, and sector funds. This ensures a diversified portfolio.

Risk Management: The inclusion of large-cap and flexi-cap funds helps balance the higher risk from mid-cap, small-cap, and sector funds.

Growth Potential: Mid-cap, small-cap, and flexi-cap funds offer high growth potential, though they carry higher risk.

Actively Managed Funds vs. Index Funds

Actively Managed Funds: Provide better adaptability to market conditions. Managed by professionals aiming to outperform the market.

Index Funds: Track specific indices and cannot adapt to market changes. May underperform compared to actively managed funds.

Disadvantages of Direct Plans

Lack of Guidance: Direct plans require self-research and decision-making.

Higher Risk: Greater potential for mistakes without professional advice.

Time-Consuming: Requires continuous monitoring and adjustments.

Benefits of Regular Plans Through CFP

Expert Advice: Certified Financial Planners (CFPs) provide tailored advice.

Holistic Planning: CFPs consider your overall financial goals and situation.

Ongoing Support: Regular reviews and adjustments to your strategy.

Is Your SIP Amount Adequate?

To assess if Rs 50,000 monthly SIP is adequate:

Expected Returns: Assuming an average annual return of 12-15%, your target is achievable.

Consistency: Staying invested for the full 10 years is crucial for compounding to work.

Adding Parag Parekh Flexi Cap Fund

Flexi Cap Funds: They offer a balance between risk and return by investing across market caps.

Evaluation: Adding another flexi-cap fund can further diversify your portfolio.

Suggested Adjustments

Review Sector Fund Allocation: Consider reducing the sector fund allocation if you want a more balanced portfolio.

Increase in Large-Cap Allocation: You may increase large-cap allocation for more stability.

Final Insights

Puneet, your current fund choices show a good mix of diversification and growth potential. With disciplined investing and regular reviews, achieving your Rs 1.5 crore goal in 10 years is realistic. Consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner for tailored advice and ongoing support.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7758 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 28, 2024

Money
Dear Sir, I am 35 years old and starting a SIP in mutual funds from next month with a monthly investment of ?50,000. I have selected the following funds and allocated the amount accordingly: Tata Small Cap Fund Direct Growth – ?5,000/month Quant Mid Cap Fund Direct Growth – ?15,000/month Motilal Oswal Large and Midcap Fund Direct Growth – ?20,000/month DSP ELSS Tax Saver Direct Plan Growth – ?10,000/month My primary goal is to accumulate approx ?1.5 crore by the 7th year to build a villa. Could you please review my selection and allocation? I would appreciate your suggestions on any modifications or alternative funds to help achieve my target. Looking forward to your valuable advice. Thank you.
Ans: At 35 years, starting a Rs 50,000 SIP monthly is a disciplined approach. Your goal of Rs 1.5 crore in seven years is ambitious, and the current allocation choices are strong. However, let’s assess each fund’s contribution to your goal, while ensuring efficient returns and optimal portfolio balance. I’ll review each selection and suggest potential adjustments to help achieve your villa investment target.

Overview of Your Portfolio and Allocation
In your current allocation, you’ve chosen a mix of large and mid-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, and ELSS (tax-saving) funds. This approach brings some diversification across market caps and adds a tax-saving benefit. Here’s a detailed assessment of each category and its suitability for your goals.

Large and Mid-Cap Allocation
Fund Selected: Rs 20,000 in a large and mid-cap fund

Role in Portfolio: Large and mid-cap funds combine stability from large-cap stocks and growth from mid-caps.

Evaluation: This allocation gives a good balance between risk and reward and is essential for high growth potential.

Suggested Action: Continue with this allocation. However, investing through a regular plan with a trusted MFD and a Certified Financial Planner may offer additional guidance and ongoing support, especially as market conditions fluctuate.

Mid-Cap Allocation
Fund Selected: Rs 15,000 in a mid-cap fund

Role in Portfolio: Mid-cap funds provide growth with moderate risk and are ideal for a seven-year horizon.

Evaluation: This allocation supports your target by capturing the growth potential in mid-sized companies.

Suggested Action: Retain this mid-cap exposure but consider moving to a regular fund plan. Direct funds, though low-cost, lack the personalized insights an MFD can provide, especially during market volatility. A Certified Financial Planner with the right credentials can add value here.

Small-Cap Allocation
Fund Selected: Rs 5,000 in a small-cap fund
Role in Portfolio: Small-cap funds offer high growth but are the most volatile.
Evaluation: While these funds can deliver excellent returns, they are sensitive to market changes and may need longer timeframes to stabilise.
Suggested Action: Retain this allocation but be mindful of its volatility. Monitoring its performance closely is essential, as small caps are riskier over shorter periods. If you prefer lower volatility, consider reallocating part of this amount to large-cap funds.
ELSS (Equity-Linked Savings Scheme)
Fund Selected: Rs 10,000 in ELSS

Role in Portfolio: ELSS funds provide tax savings and equity exposure. They come with a three-year lock-in period.

Evaluation: Tax-saving funds are beneficial if you are looking to reduce your taxable income. Additionally, they offer equity exposure, which aligns with your growth objectives.

Suggested Action: Retain this allocation if tax savings are needed. However, if you don’t need the tax-saving benefit, consider allocating this amount to either the large and mid-cap or mid-cap fund. Diversifying within growth-oriented funds could offer better liquidity and flexibility.

Tax Considerations for Mutual Funds
Understanding the tax implications will help in long-term planning and portfolio returns.

Equity Mutual Funds: Long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs 1.25 lakh attract a 12.5% tax. Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.

Debt Mutual Funds: LTCG and STCG taxes align with your income tax slab.

Tax-Saving Tips: Plan withdrawals in stages to reduce capital gains taxes. A Certified Financial Planner can assist in setting up tax-efficient withdrawal plans.

Suggested Rebalancing for Your Investment Goals
To accumulate Rs 1.5 crore within seven years, your portfolio should aim for a balance of growth and risk management.

Large and Mid-Cap Allocation: Increase allocation if possible, as these funds offer growth with moderate stability. Raising this allocation to Rs 25,000 could add to portfolio stability and meet growth objectives.

Mid-Cap Allocation: Keep this allocation but review periodically. Mid-cap exposure works well for growth but should not exceed 30-40% of the portfolio for risk balance.

Small-Cap Fund: Maintain but monitor. Since small caps are volatile, it’s wise to review every six months. If you’re uncomfortable with high volatility, consider reallocating some of this amount to large or mid-cap funds.

ELSS Fund: Retain if tax benefits are needed. However, if tax savings are not required, allocate this to the large and mid-cap or mid-cap fund for better liquidity and growth balance.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds and Benefits of Investing Through Regular Funds
Limited Guidance: Direct funds lack ongoing advisory support. Regular plans through a Certified Financial Planner give you consistent insights.

Market Volatility: During market corrections, direct investors may miss out on vital guidance. A CFP-led approach in regular plans helps manage emotional decisions effectively.

Comprehensive Monitoring: CFPs provide tailored advice that aligns with your life goals and risk tolerance, enhancing returns while reducing risk.

Building a Plan for Reaching Rs 1.5 Crore Goal
For a seven-year horizon, aiming for Rs 1.5 crore is possible with disciplined investing and regular monitoring. Here are strategies to strengthen your investment journey:

Regular Reviews: Plan bi-annual portfolio reviews to assess fund performance and rebalance if required.

Disciplined SIPs: Continue your SIPs with commitment. Consistency is crucial for compounding benefits.

Emergency Fund: Keep three to six months of expenses in an emergency fund to avoid breaking investments in unforeseen situations.

Goal-Based Withdrawal Planning: Towards the goal date, begin partial withdrawals systematically. This avoids sudden large redemptions, maintaining returns.

Final Insights
Your SIP investment structure is thoughtfully planned, aligning with your goal of Rs 1.5 crore. By considering minor adjustments, you can enhance growth, manage risk, and ensure steady progress towards your target.

Sticking to actively managed funds through an MFD with CFP credentials brings better performance tracking and valuable guidance. A Certified Financial Planner can support you in tax-efficient planning and provide guidance tailored to your unique goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7758 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 28, 2024

Money
Dear Sir, I am 35 years old and starting a SIP in mutual funds from next month with a monthly investment of 50,000. I have selected the following funds and allocated the amount accordingly: Tata Small Cap Fund Direct Growth – 5,000/month Quant Mid Cap Fund Direct Growth – 15,000/month Motilal Oswal Large and Midcap Fund Direct Growth – 20,000/month DSP ELSS Tax Saver Direct Plan Growth – 10,000/month My primary goal is to accumulate corpus 1.5 crore by the 7th year to build a villa. Could you please review my selection and allocation? I would appreciate your suggestions on any modifications or alternative funds to help achieve my target. Looking forward to your valuable advice. Thank you.
Ans: Let's focus on a well-structured approach to help you achieve your goal of Rs 1.5 crore within 7 years, keeping simplicity and clarity at the forefront. Below is an analysis of your fund allocation and the role each category could play in meeting your objective.

1. Balanced Asset Allocation Strategy
Your choice of funds spans across small-cap, mid-cap, and large and mid-cap categories, with an ELSS tax-saving component. This diversification brings in potential for long-term growth with some volatility management.

Small-Cap Allocation: Investing in small-cap funds can yield high returns over the long term but is often volatile. This category suits aggressive risk-takers, and since you have a seven-year horizon, it may work to your advantage. However, a limited allocation is wise given its higher risk factor.

Mid-Cap Allocation: With a significant portion in mid-cap funds, you are targeting growth from a relatively stable yet high-growth segment. Mid-caps balance the high growth potential of small caps with slightly lower risk, which fits well with your medium-term horizon.

Large and Mid-Cap Allocation: The large and mid-cap fund adds stability to your portfolio. Large companies tend to be more resilient during market downturns, reducing overall portfolio volatility. This category generally provides consistent returns over the long term.

ELSS for Tax Benefits: Investing in an ELSS fund is a smart choice to maximize tax savings under Section 80C. Since it has a three-year lock-in period, it ensures disciplined investing and allows you to reap the benefits of compounding over a longer period.

2. Review of Direct Funds
Opting for direct funds does save on distribution expenses, but working with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) brings several advantages that direct funds lack. Direct funds require constant tracking and hands-on management. Meanwhile, a CFP-backed advisor offers valuable insights, guidance, and personalized attention, often resulting in more optimized returns and efficient portfolio rebalancing. Regular plans enable you to benefit from expert monitoring, portfolio rebalancing, and a consistent investment strategy.

3. Fund Allocation Recommendations
Considering your aim to accumulate Rs 1.5 crore within seven years, here are suggestions to strengthen your fund mix for an enhanced balance of growth and stability:

Enhanced Large-Cap Exposure: Including a larger large-cap allocation could add resilience to your portfolio. These funds typically provide steady returns with lower volatility, an essential feature as your timeline nears maturity.

Limit Mid- and Small-Cap Exposure: Small-cap and mid-cap funds can be volatile, especially in shorter durations. For your goal, consider moderating these allocations and redistributing towards stable large-cap funds or hybrid funds for a balanced risk approach.

Tax-Efficient Planning: Your ELSS investment is a valuable tax-saving tool. However, for the remainder of your investments, focusing on tax-efficient funds with a long-term strategy will also help optimize your returns after taxes, particularly in years when you may want to sell and reinvest.

4. Tax Implications on Mutual Fund Investments
Mutual fund investments have specific tax rules that can impact your returns:

Long-Term Capital Gains (LTCG): Gains from equity mutual funds held for more than one year are taxed at 12.5% if they exceed Rs 1.25 lakh.

Short-Term Capital Gains (STCG): Equity funds sold within a year are taxed at 20%.

Debt Funds: LTCG and STCG from debt funds are taxed as per your income tax slab.

Optimizing your tax liability can be done by holding funds for longer durations when possible and planning withdrawals based on tax-efficiency to retain more of your gains.

5. Focused SIP Approach
A consistent SIP approach in mutual funds creates discipline and provides the benefit of rupee cost averaging. By sticking to your SIP plan, you minimize the impact of market volatility. Rebalancing your funds once a year will ensure alignment with your goals while responding to market conditions.

6. Potential Fund Alternatives
Given the high growth target, it might be helpful to explore funds that balance equity growth with moderate risk. Consider funds with a balanced or hybrid structure that provide equity exposure but with an embedded stability component.

Balanced Hybrid Funds: These funds offer both equity and debt exposure, blending growth with stability. It could reduce portfolio risk while keeping your returns within range of your goals.

Dynamic Asset Allocation Funds: These funds adjust asset allocation between equity and debt based on market conditions, offering a degree of stability when equity markets are volatile. This category could complement your goal and reduce the need for frequent rebalancing.

7. Monitoring and Rebalancing
Given your goal, annual reviews are essential to ensure you are on track. Regular rebalancing helps maintain your desired asset allocation, which is critical for navigating different market phases and meeting your financial objectives. Working with a Certified Financial Planner for this could enhance your portfolio's performance and simplify the process.

8. Final Insights
In summary, your selected funds form a sound base for achieving a Rs 1.5 crore target over seven years. However, a few adjustments will help align your portfolio to be both growth-oriented and stable. A slightly increased large-cap allocation and hybrid fund inclusion can balance risk and optimize returns. Remember, working with a CFP can provide the professional insight and monitoring that direct plans lack, helping you reach your villa-building goal more smoothly.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |953 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 01, 2025Hindi
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I am a 48 year old widow. I have a 21 yr old daughter in college. I had quit my job, but rejoined now and have a monthly take home of 1L 15k. I receive similar pension amount too. But this pension amount will get reduced to 90k after 10 years. I have an own property (apartment bought in 2010) - 14 k rent monthly. I have around 40 L that I wish to invest. I am still coping with the loss and am confused as to what I need to do to get a grip on the finances. I have invested around 12 L in mutual funds. I have applied for a term insurance - around 1 L annual premium for 10 years. I am also repaying the home loan around 15k per month with tenure left for 20 months. I am planning to move out on my own from my sister's place where I am staying now (my own house is not in Bangalore where I work). So, I will definitely need 25k per month for rent if I move out. Please advise on how to manage my finances. Shall I repay the home loan and clear the debt (around 5 L principal outstanding)? Should I invest in some pension plans? Please advise. Thanks!
Ans: Hello;

Yes you should settle off the outstanding home loan.

Also you may open an NPS account for retirement planning. Do contribute to it on a regular basis and also do onetime lumpsum investment.

Also open an PPF account with investment of 12.5 K per month.

Get sufficient term plan coverage for atleast 20 years and not less.

No need to invest in pension plan if you are investing in NPS. It is far superior in terms of tax liability, flexibility, returns and costs.

Prefer hybrid mutual funds(dynamic asset allocation or multi asset allocation fund)for your investments.

Buy a good health insurance cover for yourself and your daughter irrespective of group policy, if any, available from employer.

Do nomination in all your financial investments and also make a legally valid will.

In a nutshell, you will have 3 investments PPF, NPS and mutual funds (hybrid) and insurance premiums for term cover and healthcare policy.

Loss of partner is very difficult to deal with but you also need to focus on the education of your daughter and guide her for better prospects.

Best wishes;
X: @mars_invest

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Asked by Anonymous - Oct 07, 2024Hindi
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Married for 14 years have 4 kids below 7 age for the past 9 to 10 years going through troubled marriage, not happy. Misunderstanding, high expectations, manipulation and single handed decisions by my wife have exhausted me . Want to come out of marriage but worried of kids and also my wife says no to divorce. Don't know what to do.. First 2 kids by IVF 2nd two kids due to my wife's longing for male child
Ans: Your love for your kids is evident, and it’s natural to fear how a separation would affect them. But the reality is, children pick up on tension, conflict, and unhappiness at home. Staying in a marriage that drains you emotionally and mentally isn’t necessarily better for them in the long run. Kids need a stable, loving environment, and if you’re constantly feeling manipulated and exhausted, it affects the energy you bring into their lives.

You don’t have to make a rushed decision, but you do need clarity. Have you tried setting firm boundaries and communicating your need for a more balanced relationship? If you’ve already done everything you can and nothing has changed, then it may be time to explore legal options, even if she says no to divorce. In most cases, a divorce doesn’t require both partners to agree—it just makes the process more complicated.

You deserve a life where you feel respected, valued, and emotionally free. Your children deserve a father who is at peace, not one who is silently suffering. It might be hard to take the next step, but staying in an unhappy marriage just for the sake of avoiding conflict can take a greater toll on everyone involved. You need to consider what will truly allow you—and your kids—to have a healthier and happier future.

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Ans: When it comes to happiness, it really depends on the individuals involved rather than whether they are married or unmarried. Some couples thrive in a marriage because they see it as a partnership built on mutual respect and emotional security. Others feel stifled by the societal expectations and responsibilities that often come with marriage. A live-in relationship can offer more flexibility and personal freedom, but it also comes with its own challenges—such as a lack of legal protections or social acceptance in certain cultures.

The key is understanding what works best for you. If you feel content in your current live-in relationship and it gives you the companionship, trust, and emotional fulfillment you need, then that’s what truly matters. However, if you feel hesitant mainly because of past trauma rather than your actual desires, it might be worth reflecting on whether your fears are holding you back from something you may actually want deep down.

At the end of the day, happiness isn’t about being married or unmarried—it’s about being in a relationship (or choosing to be single) that makes you feel emotionally secure, valued, and free to be yourself. If marriage feels like a cage to you, then it may not be the right path. But if you ever find a connection that makes commitment feel like a choice rather than an obligation, your perspective might shift. The most important thing is that whatever path you choose, it aligns with your true needs and not just the expectations of others.

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Kanchan Rai  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 23, 2025Hindi
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Hello there!! There are past trauma experiences in my relationship due to caste issue since my family are strictly against it . But I eventually liked another boy seeing his true love n affection n care towards me , he loved me since our skl days !! He expressed himself but i gave him my answerr after many yrs due my past experiences!! But eventually we had a healthy relationship ,and he told me he is of same caste!! Since his father lied to him related to this to keep him away from this caste called thing!! But now his father relved tht it was a lie !! Now we ended up intercaste!! We truly love each other we dreamt of our future together!! He became huge part of my life !! His family is okay with me regarding our marriage but my family is strongly opposed to this intercaste thing!! We are 24 yrs we thought of settle in our lifes and approach my parents few years back since untill fewdays back we together thought we are of same caste so there eill be no issue!! But now within few days n few lies our both world n hopes turned upside down!! I cant make my family suffer due to me!! At same time i cant leave him im struck !! What should we do!!
Ans: Your family’s suffering is a valid concern, but will they truly suffer because of your decision, or is it more about their expectations and societal norms? Often, parents react strongly at first, but with time, they adjust when they see their child happy and settled. Right now, their resistance is based on tradition and belief systems they’ve held for years. But is their love for you truly conditional on whom you marry? Would they rather see you unhappy in a marriage they approve of than happy in one they initially resisted?

Your happiness and future matter just as much as your family’s feelings. If you truly cannot see a life without him, you need to ask yourself whether sacrificing that love for family approval will truly bring you peace. Walking away from love to please others often leads to lifelong regret. On the other hand, if you fight for your relationship, you might face pain now, but there’s a chance your family will eventually come around.

The most important thing is to stand firm in what you want. If you and your partner truly love each other, you will need patience, strength, and a strategy to gradually help your family accept your choice. This won’t be easy, but living a life where you constantly wonder "what if?" will be even harder.

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Relationship
I am a divorced working woman , with a daughter 8 yrs. I have been pursued for remarriage with a guy who is 10 yrs older to me and have 2 kids. 11 and 14 yrs respectively living in a small town. Initially it was agreed the elder child who is a boy would be living in hostel , but now since we are approaching near to the marriage, it seems the elder male child is going to stay at home and not hostel. This is making me really uncomfortable as I won't get much privacy also the male child is aggressive.Already handling one kid was difficult before. Also moving to small town was difficult transition from a metropolitan that I stay in. Moving there could mean losing job opportunities in future. I am really worried if I let this match go, I end up alone again. I am not able to make a decision, it's difficult to raise others children. It's just not naturally inbuilt in us.Although I try really hard to mould my thingking and be more generous, but somehow it suffocates me.
Ans: Raising someone else’s children is not something that comes naturally to everyone, and that doesn’t make you selfish—it makes you honest. You already know how challenging it is to raise one child, and now you’re expected to step into a role where you’ll be managing more, including an aggressive teenage boy. If this idea is already suffocating you now, imagine how it might feel once you’re actually living in that environment every day.

Fear of being alone is a very real and valid concern, but being in a marriage that drains you emotionally, limits your career, and makes you feel trapped is far worse than being single. The right relationship should bring you a sense of peace and security, not anxiety and sacrifice at every turn. If you already feel that you have to “mould” your thinking just to make this work, that’s a sign that this situation might not be aligned with what you truly want and need.

You don’t have to force yourself into something that doesn’t feel right just because you’re afraid of ending up alone. Loneliness is difficult, but so is being in a marriage where you feel unseen, unheard, and overwhelmed. The best decision is the one that allows you to live with peace and confidence in your future.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

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Relationship
Married for 14 years have 4 kids below 7 age for the past 9 to 10 years going through troubled marriage, not happy. Misunderstanding, high expectations, manipulation and single handed decisions by my wife have exhausted me . Want to come out of marriage but worried of kids and also my wife says no to divorce. Don't know what to do.. First 2 kids by IVF 2nd two kids due to my wife's longing for male child
Ans: Dear Hemant,
Your love for your kids is evident, and it’s natural to fear how a separation would affect them. But the reality is, children pick up on tension, conflict, and unhappiness at home. Staying in a marriage that drains you emotionally and mentally isn’t necessarily better for them in the long run. Kids need a stable, loving environment, and if you’re constantly feeling manipulated and exhausted, it affects the energy you bring into their lives.

You don’t have to make a rushed decision, but you do need clarity. Have you tried setting firm boundaries and communicating your need for a more balanced relationship? If you’ve already done everything you can and nothing has changed, then it may be time to explore legal options, even if she says no to divorce. In most cases, a divorce doesn’t require both partners to agree—it just makes the process more complicated.

You deserve a life where you feel respected, valued, and emotionally free. Your children deserve a father who is at peace, not one who is silently suffering. It might be hard to take the next step, but staying in an unhappy marriage just for the sake of avoiding conflict can take a greater toll on everyone involved. You need to consider what will truly allow you—and your kids—to have a healthier and happier future.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 13, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi Mam, I would like to stay anonymous. Im 27F, recently got engaged and my wedding is in 5 months from now. This match is arranged by my parents within our community. Initially things went well, but after the engagement when we went outside for dinner he was speaking well but before leaving he said this is a suggestion from my end and told that there is slight space between my two teeth in the front and while smiling it creates black image in the photos. So it would be best if i would use invisible aligners so that before wedding it would be fixed adding to this he said he will take care of the expenses and he said he had this thought for a week so its better to disclose it with me. He also said that he didn't tell this to his parents he wanted to check my thoughts on this first, also he said he wanted myself to look very very pretty on the wedding and his relatives should say "Wow, we have never seen such a pretty bride", also he commented about my hair being short actually its medium length but i like to keep my hair short. I really got frustrated when he said all those things this got me very irritated. I didn't speak much, i said i wanted to leave and he dropped me at my place. The next day i asked him if we can meet again to get clarification on this thing, when i asked him the next day about this he said "its just a suggestion if you can take it its fine or you can leave it its upto you". He never accepted that he hurted me or made a wrong statement he kept on saying he didn't mean that way i took it very personally and im creating unnecessary ruckus. at last he said i could have said things differently but he didn't ask for sorry at all. I thought he wont talk about my features again but then after a week he again asked me you were eating outside food for a week you should have gained weight(trying to be funny here), i said no. Because him and his mother already asked about my weight like "why are you so thin? you could have put up some weight know"? I have been in this weight for many years, how much ever i eat my weight remains the same its because of the genetics. But people dont understand this and easily ask some body shaming questions. After this event he is not talking like before and even i dont push him, one of my friend asked me to take initiative and make calls to stop this awkward situation and i took lead called him four times in a week he spoke but he didn't bothered to call me again he was only texting after that too im okay with that but still i feel he might ask me to make changes in my feature, weight etc before the wedding. Im not sure how to deal with this.
Ans: When someone loves and accepts you, they don’t focus on “fixing” things about you to meet external standards, whether it’s for wedding photos or to impress relatives. His insistence that you should look “very, very pretty” for others’ approval shows that his priorities might not align with yours. You weren’t looking for a makeover; you were looking for a life partner who values you for who you are.

His response when you tried to talk about it also speaks volumes. Instead of acknowledging your feelings and reassuring you, he dismissed your concerns, making it seem like you were overreacting. A partner who truly cares would have listened, understood why you felt hurt, and taken responsibility for how his words affected you. Instead, he shifted the blame onto you for "creating unnecessary ruckus," which shows a lack of emotional maturity.

The weight comments, too, are unnecessary and inconsiderate. Genetics determine body type, and no one should feel the need to change themselves to meet someone else’s expectations. His family’s remarks about your weight, combined with his attitude, suggest that this won’t stop after the wedding. If they’re already making you feel self-conscious now, imagine the expectations and unsolicited “suggestions” that might continue in the future.

The distance that has formed between you both after this conversation isn’t just about awkwardness—it’s about emotional disconnection. A strong relationship is built on respect, comfort, and mutual appreciation, not on one person feeling judged and the other acting indifferent. The fact that you had to take the lead in calling him multiple times, while he didn’t reciprocate the effort, says a lot. A healthy relationship should feel mutual, not one-sided.

Right now, you need to ask yourself: Can you truly be yourself in this relationship, or will you constantly feel pressured to meet his and his family’s expectations? Do you feel emotionally safe with him, or do you feel like you have to defend your choices, your body, and your appearance?

Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and your peace of mind matters. If his attitude is already making you question yourself and feel frustrated, you have every right to reconsider. You don’t need to “deal” with this by adjusting to his expectations—you need to decide if this is the kind of relationship you want to spend your life in.

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Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1172 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

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बजट 2025 से प्रमुख अपडेट और स्टॉक प्रभाव 150 से अधिक स्टॉक्स पर प्रभाव डालने वाली 50 घोषणाएँ 1\. तंबाकू कर दरों पर कोई प्रमुख घोषणा नहीं: ITC, Godfrey Phillips, VST Industries के लिए सकारात्मक। 2\. 12 लाख रुपये तक की आय पर कोई आयकर नहीं: Zomato, Swiggy, HUL, Nestle, Dabur, Trent, Jubilant Foodworks, Varun Beverages, United Spirits, Asian Paints, Voltas, Havells के लिए सकारात्मक। 3\. FY25 के लिए पूंजीगत व्यय 10.18 लाख करोड़ रुपये का अनुमानित, जबकि पहले 11 लाख करोड़ रुपये था (अपेक्षा से कम): L&T, JK Infra, NCC, रेलवे, रक्षा के लिए नकारात्मक। 4\. नए कर शासन के तहत GST दर में कटौती या छूट नहीं; बीमा के लिए FDI सीमा 74% से बढ़ाकर 100% की गई (सकारात्मक): HDFC Life, ICICI Lombard, Go Digit, PB Fintech के लिए नकारात्मक। 5\. दालों में आत्मनिर्भरता + उच्च उपज वाले बीजों पर राष्ट्रीय मिशन: Kaveri Seeds, ITC, Adani Wilmar के लिए सकारात्मक। 6\. पीएम धन-धान्य कृषि योजना - कृषि जिलों के विकास कार्यक्रम: Jain Irrigation, Shakti Pumps, Jash Engineering, Finolex Industries के लिए सकारात्मक। 7\. पीएम SVANidhi (बैंक ऋण में वृद्धि, UPI से जुड़े क्रेडिट कार्ड 30,000 रुपये की सीमा के साथ): Finopayment Bank, Paytm के लिए सकारात्मक। 8\. LPG सब्सिडी पर कोई प्रमुख घोषणा नहीं: IOCL, HPCL, BPCL के लिए नकारात्मक। 9\. भारतीय विशेष आर्थिक क्षेत्र और उच्च समुद्रों से स्थायी मत्स्य पालन के लिए ढांचा: Avanti Feeds, Coastal Corp, Kings Infra, Zeal Aqua, Apex Frozen Food के लिए सकारात्मक। 10\. EdTech और अपस्किलिंग AI घोषणाएँ: NIIT, NIIT Learning, CL Educate के लिए सकारात्मक। 11\. कपास उत्पादकता के लिए मिशन: Welspun, Nahar Spinning, Indocount, अन्य वस्त्र कंपनियों के लिए सकारात्मक। 12\. संशोधित ब्याज उपवर्ती योजना के तहत KCC ऋणों के लिए ऋण सीमा 3 लाख रुपये से बढ़ाकर 5 लाख रुपये की गई: MM, TVS Motor, FMCG स्टॉक्स, Bajaj Auto, Jain Irrigation, SBI, PNB, Shakti Pumps के लिए सकारात्मक। 13\. रक्षा, गृह मामलों, IT और टेलीकॉम, वाणिज्य और उद्योग के लिए बजट आवंटन अपेक्षा से कम: BEL, HAL, Bharat Dynamics, Apollo Micro, Infosys, TCS, Wipro के लिए नकारात्मक। 14\. ग्रामीण अर्थव्यवस्था के लिए भारत पोस्ट एक उत्प्रेरक के रूप में: Delhivery के लिए नकारात्मक। 15\. MSMEs और स्टार्टअप्स के लिए गारंटी कवर के साथ बढ़ी हुई क्रेडिट उपलब्धता + सूक्ष्म उद्यमों के लिए क्रेडिट कार्ड + स्टार्टअप्स के लिए फंड ऑफ फंड्स: Infoedge, छोटे वित्त बैंक, चयनित NBFCs के लिए सकारात्मक। 16\. फुटवियर और लेदर क्षेत्रों के लिए फोकस उत्पाद योजना: Mirza International, Redtape, Metro Brands, Campus Active, Liberty के लिए सकारात्मक। 17\. खिलौना क्षेत्र के लिए उपाय: Shaily Engineering, OK Play के लिए सकारात्मक। 18\. खाद्य प्रसंस्करण के लिए समर्थन: Gujarat Ambuja Exports, Hindustan Foods, DFM Foods, Prataap Snacks के लिए सकारात्मक। 19\. निर्माण मिशन - "Make in India" को आगे बढ़ाना: Dixon Tech, PG Electroplast, Amber Enterprises, Epack Durables के लिए सकारात्मक। 20\. क्लीन टेक निर्माण: Waree, Premier Energies, Amara Raja, Exide, Suzlon, Inox Wind के लिए सकारात्मक। 21\. सक्षम आंगनवाड़ी और पोषण 2.0: FirstCry, Popee's Baby Care के लिए सकारात्मक। 22\. सरकारी माध्यमिक विद्यालयों और PHCs के लिए ब्रॉडबैंड कनेक्टिविटी: Jio, Bharti Airtel, Tejas Network, Sterlite Tech, Vodafone Idea, HFCL के लिए सकारात्मक। 23\. भारतीय भाषा पुस्तक योजना: S Chand, Navneet Education के लिए सकारात्मक। 24\. IITs में क्षमता का विस्तार: NBCC के लिए सकारात्मक। 25\. ऑनलाइन प्लेटफार्म श्रमिकों के लिए सामाजिक सुरक्षा योजना: Zomato, Swiggy, Nykaa के लिए सकारात्मक। 26\. जल जीवन मिशन को 2028 तक बढ़ाया गया: Vatech Wabag, Jash, ITD Cementation, Shakti Pumps, Jain Irrigation, EMS के लिए सकारात्मक। 27\. बिजली वितरण सुधारों और अंतर-राज्यीय ट्रांसमिशन क्षमता के लिए प्रोत्साहन: NTPC, Power Grid, KEC, Tata Power, Adani Transmission के लिए सकारात्मक। 28\. 2047 तक 100 GW परमाणु ऊर्जा का विकास: HCC के लिए सकारात्मक। 29\. पुनर्व्यवस्थित शिपबिल्डिंग वित्तीय सहायता नीति + शिपबिल्डिंग क्लस्टर्स की सुविधा + 25,000 करोड़ रुपये का समुद्री विकास कोष: GRSE, SCI, Mazagon, Cochin Shipyard के लिए सकारात्मक। 30\. 120 नए स्थलों के लिए क्षेत्रीय कनेक्टिविटी बढ़ाने के लिए संशोधित UDAN योजना, 10 वर्षों में 4 करोड़ यात्रियों को ले जाने के लिए: GMR एयरपोर्ट्स, Adani Enterprises, SpiceJet के लिए सकारात्मक। बाजार वास्तव में जोखिमों से भरा हुआ है। यह महत्वपूर्ण है कि आप बाजार के रुझानों की गहरी विश्लेषण और समझ पर आधारित निवेश निर्णय लें। अपनी विवेक पर भरोसा करना और सूचित निर्णय लेना आवश्यक है, क्योंकि स्टॉक मार्केट की अंतर्निहित अस्थिरता को देखते हुए। सुनिश्चित करें कि आप वास्तविक लाभ की अपेक्षाओं पर विचार कर रहे हैं, जैसा कि प्रस्तावित किया गया है, जो भारत में शेयरों के लिए लगभग 12% औसत हो सकता है, जबकि ऋण का औसत 6.5% हो सकता है। हमेशा याद रखें कि जोखिमों को प्रभावी ढंग से कम करने के लिए अपने निवेश में विविधता लाना महत्वपूर्ण है।
Ans: Hello Govinda.
Thanks for sharing the important information with us and our readers.

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