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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7758 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 12, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 02, 2024Hindi
Money

Hi..I am 27 years old having salary of approx 1 lakh per month. I want to make a corpus of around 10 cr till my retirement. As of now I am having Fd of 2.5 lakh, sip started 2 yrs back for 7.5k with step up of 1.5k invested in index and small cap fund which is 2 lakh. Also started investing in etf for 15k per month as sip. I have also invested in LIC which is around 1.8lakhs per year started 2 years back. As I am in PSB so in NPS around 20k per month gets deposited whose current value is 3.2 lakhs. Kindly guide.

Ans: At 27 years old and with a monthly salary of Rs. 1 lakh, you're on a great path. Let’s explore how you can reach a corpus of Rs. 10 crores by retirement.

Current Financial Overview
Fixed Deposits: You have Rs. 2.5 lakhs in FD. This is good for safety, but the returns are low.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP): You’ve started a SIP two years back with Rs. 7,500, stepped up by Rs. 1,500. This is invested in index and small cap funds. The current value is Rs. 2 lakhs.

Exchange Traded Funds (ETFs): You invest Rs. 15,000 per month in ETFs.

LIC: You invest Rs. 1.8 lakhs annually in LIC. This started two years ago.

National Pension System (NPS): Rs. 20,000 per month is deposited in NPS. Its current value is Rs. 3.2 lakhs.

SIPs: A Good Start
Your SIP investment shows foresight. However, let’s examine the types of funds:

Disadvantages of Index Funds:
Index funds track market indices. While they offer diversification, they lack flexibility. In volatile markets, actively managed funds can adapt better.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds:
Actively managed funds have professional fund managers. They aim to outperform the market. These funds can offer better returns with careful management.

Direct Funds vs. Regular Funds
You might be investing directly in mutual funds. Here’s why regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can be better:

Disadvantages of Direct Funds:
Direct funds have lower costs but no guidance. You may miss out on professional advice. This can lead to suboptimal investment choices.

Benefits of Regular Funds:
Regular funds involve a fee but come with professional advice. A CFP can help you choose the right funds, monitor performance, and adjust strategies.

LIC Policies: Reconsideration Needed
Your LIC policy requires Rs. 1.8 lakhs annually. These policies often mix insurance with investment, offering lower returns. Consider surrendering this policy and reinvesting in mutual funds. This can enhance your investment growth.

Maximizing NPS Benefits
Your NPS investment is strong. NPS offers tax benefits and long-term growth. Ensure you choose an aggressive asset allocation to maximize returns. As retirement nears, gradually shift to safer investments.

ETF Investments: Strategic Adjustments
Investing Rs. 15,000 per month in ETFs shows diligence. However, ETFs, like index funds, follow the market. Consider reducing ETF investments and reallocating to actively managed mutual funds for potentially higher returns.

Creating a Robust Investment Strategy
Diversifying Your Portfolio
Equity Funds:
Increase your SIP in equity mutual funds. Focus on a mix of large, mid, and small-cap funds. Actively managed funds can help balance risk and return.

Debt Funds:
Allocate a portion to debt mutual funds. These provide stability and reduce overall portfolio risk.

Gold Funds:
Consider a small allocation to gold funds. They hedge against inflation and market volatility.

Systematic Transfer Plans (STP)
Utilize STPs to transfer funds from debt to equity. This strategy reduces risk and ensures disciplined investing.

Stepping Up SIPs
Continue stepping up your SIPs annually. This ensures your investment grows with your income. Aim to increase your SIP contributions by at least 10-15% every year.

Importance of Financial Planning
Setting Clear Goals
Define your financial goals. Besides the Rs. 10 crore retirement corpus, set short and medium-term goals. This could include buying a house, child’s education, or travel plans.

Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund. This should cover 6-12 months of expenses. It ensures financial stability during unforeseen circumstances.

Insurance: Adequate Coverage
Ensure you have adequate life and health insurance. A term plan is a cost-effective option for life insurance. Review your health insurance to cover all medical needs.

Monitoring and Review
Regular Portfolio Review
Review your portfolio every 6 months. Assess performance and make necessary adjustments. A CFP can help with these reviews.

Tax Planning
Utilize tax-saving instruments wisely. Besides NPS, consider ELSS (Equity Linked Savings Scheme) for tax benefits under Section 80C.

Final Insights
You’re on the right path with your current investments. However, a few strategic adjustments can significantly improve your chances of reaching a Rs. 10 crore corpus.

Switch to Actively Managed Funds: Move from index and ETFs to actively managed mutual funds. This can provide higher returns over time.

Reevaluate LIC Policies: Consider surrendering LIC policies and reinvesting in mutual funds.

Step Up SIPs: Regularly increase your SIP contributions. This leverages your growing income for better future returns.

Seek Professional Advice: Regularly consult a Certified Financial Planner. Their expertise can help you navigate market changes and optimize your investments.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7758 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 30, 2024

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Dear Sir , I'm now at 53 years ; self employed person . So far managed to make a corpus of 50 L via MF ( 95% equity , 5% debt ) , holding a property of worth 40 L after repaying the loan at Kolkata . I do require a corpus of 2.5 cr after 8 years to maintain my retire life . Presently , I am able to invest much because of my income gone down and dont have spare fund to invest . Only , I am carrying 5000/- pm SIP in Mirae asset Large & mid cap & Axis small cap . I want to understand , how can reach the goal ? Please advice .
Ans: It's admirable how you've diligently built your financial foundation despite the challenges. Your proactive approach to planning is commendable. Considering your current situation, it's essential to reassess your strategy. Have you explored options to optimize your expenses and potentially increase your savings? Additionally, have you considered the impact of inflation on your target corpus?

A Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized guidance tailored to your aspirations and limitations. They can help you recalibrate your investment portfolio, ensuring a balanced approach that aligns with your risk tolerance and long-term goals. While your current SIPs are a step in the right direction, diversifying your investments further could enhance your potential returns.

Remember, financial planning is a journey, not a destination. Stay focused on your objectives, and with careful planning and guidance, you'll navigate through any challenges towards a secure and fulfilling retirement.

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7758 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 14, 2024Hindi
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Hi, I am 37 yrs old, single and earning 1lac per month. I invest 21K in 4 types of MF - Flexi cap, multicap, small cap, large cap equally distributed, 5,000 in NPS tier 1 & 2,500 in NPS tier 2, 5,000 in PPF, 6,500 SIP in smallcase stocks, I'm also trying to manage trading and having housing Loan EMI of 37,500 every month. How can I generate substantial corpus for my retirement. I'm planning to have around 10Cr. Please guide
Ans: I appreciate your dedication to securing your financial future. You're already making commendable strides towards building a substantial corpus for your retirement. Let's explore how to optimize your current investments and plan strategically to achieve your retirement goal of Rs. 10 crore.

Understanding Your Current Financial Situation
Monthly Income and Investment Allocation
You have a monthly income of Rs. 1 lakh. Your current investments are:

Rs. 21,000 in various mutual funds (Flexi cap, multicap, small cap, large cap).
Rs. 5,000 in NPS Tier 1.
Rs. 2,500 in NPS Tier 2.
Rs. 5,000 in PPF.
Rs. 6,500 SIP in smallcase stocks.
Rs. 37,500 in housing loan EMI.
This is a well-diversified portfolio, but let's delve deeper into each component to see if there are opportunities for optimization.

Evaluating Your Mutual Fund Portfolio
Distribution Across Funds
Investing Rs. 21,000 equally in four types of mutual funds is a good start. Here’s an analysis of each category:

Flexi Cap Funds
Flexi cap funds provide flexibility by investing in companies across market capitalizations. This can offer a balanced risk-return profile.

Multicap Funds
Multicap funds invest in large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap companies. This diversification can help mitigate risks associated with a particular segment.

Small Cap Funds
Small cap funds can provide high growth potential but come with higher risk. Ensure these investments align with your risk tolerance.

Large Cap Funds
Large cap funds are generally more stable and less volatile. They can provide steady returns with lower risk compared to small cap funds.

Recommendations for Mutual Funds
Consider reviewing the performance of each fund. Actively managed funds often outperform index funds, offering better returns. Working with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can help you select the best-performing funds in each category.

National Pension System (NPS) Investment
Tier 1 and Tier 2 Accounts
NPS Tier 1 is a retirement account with tax benefits. Tier 2 is a voluntary account with more flexibility.

NPS Tier 1
Your Rs. 5,000 monthly contribution in NPS Tier 1 is good for long-term retirement savings. The tax benefits under Section 80CCD(1B) are an added advantage.

NPS Tier 2
NPS Tier 2 doesn't offer tax benefits but provides liquidity. If you're not using this fund frequently, consider whether the returns meet your expectations.

Maximizing NPS Benefits
Ensure your NPS portfolio is appropriately allocated between equity, corporate bonds, and government securities to balance risk and returns. Discuss with a CFP to optimize your asset allocation within NPS.

Public Provident Fund (PPF)
Long-Term Security
PPF is a safe investment with tax-free returns, ideal for long-term goals. Your Rs. 5,000 monthly contribution will grow steadily over time.

Recommendations
Continue contributing to PPF for its tax-free returns and stability. It provides a solid foundation for your retirement corpus.

Smallcase Stocks and Trading
SIP in Smallcase Stocks
Investing Rs. 6,500 monthly in smallcase stocks is a strategic move. Smallcases offer a curated basket of stocks, making stock investing simpler.

Trading Activities
Active trading can be risky and may lead to losses if not managed carefully. Given your past experience, consider limiting trading activities.

Recommendations
Focus on long-term investments over active trading. Use smallcases for diversified exposure to stocks, and avoid speculative trading.

Housing Loan EMI
Managing Debt
Your housing loan EMI of Rs. 37,500 is a significant monthly expense. Ensure that this loan doesn't hinder your investment capabilities.

Recommendations
Consider prepaying the housing loan if you have surplus funds. This can reduce interest outgo and free up cash flow for investments.

Strategies to Reach Rs. 10 Crore Retirement Corpus
Goal Setting and Time Horizon
You have around 23 years until a typical retirement age of 60. Here’s a strategic plan to achieve your goal:

Increase SIP Amount Gradually
As your income grows, increase your SIP amounts. Aim to invest at least 30-40% of your monthly income.

Diversify Across Asset Classes
Ensure a good mix of equity, debt, and alternative investments. This can help balance risk and returns.

Regular Review and Rebalancing
Monitor Portfolio Performance
Regularly review your portfolio’s performance. Rebalance your investments to maintain the desired asset allocation.

Seek Professional Advice
A CFP can help you navigate complex financial decisions and optimize your investment strategy.

Tax Efficiency
Utilize Tax Benefits
Maximize contributions to tax-saving instruments like PPF, NPS, and ELSS funds. This can reduce your taxable income and increase investable surplus.

Long-Term Capital Gains
Invest in equity instruments with a long-term perspective to benefit from lower capital gains tax.

Detailed Investment Plan
Equity Investments
Equities offer high growth potential. Allocate a significant portion of your portfolio to equity mutual funds and smallcases.

High Growth Funds
Focus on funds with a track record of high returns. Avoid index funds, as actively managed funds tend to perform better in the Indian market.

Regular Monitoring
Monitor the performance of equity funds regularly. Switch to better-performing funds if necessary.

Debt Investments
Debt instruments provide stability and regular income.

Balanced Portfolio
Include debt mutual funds, PPF, and NPS in your portfolio. This provides a safety net during market volatility.

Alternative Investments
Gold and Commodities
Consider investing in gold ETFs or commodities for diversification. Gold can act as a hedge against inflation.

International Funds
Invest in international funds for global exposure. This can diversify risk and provide opportunities in different markets.

Financial Discipline and Planning
Regular Savings and Investments
Consistently save and invest a portion of your income. Automate your investments to ensure regular contributions.

Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund equivalent to 6-12 months of expenses. This can provide financial security during unforeseen events.

Insurance Coverage
Ensure adequate life and health insurance coverage. This protects your family and preserves your investments in case of emergencies.

Final Insights
Achieving a Rs. 10 crore retirement corpus is a commendable goal. Your current investment strategy is on the right track. However, optimizing your portfolio and increasing investments can accelerate your progress.

Work with a Certified Financial Planner to refine your investment strategy and ensure you are on the path to financial success. Regularly review your portfolio, stay disciplined with your investments, and make informed decisions to achieve your retirement goals.

Best regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7758 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 02, 2024

Money
I am 31, salary is 40k, having debt 2.1 lacs, Mutual fund portfolio value is 6.7 lacs with sip of 11000 monthly, epf 3.8 lacs, gold-6 lacs, Emergency fund 2.7 lacs in savings. What is the right way for me to create corpus of 1 cr by age 40yrs?
Ans: It's great that you are taking a proactive approach to secure your financial future. Let's break down the steps and strategies you need to follow to create a corpus of Rs 1 crore by the time you are 40 years old. Given your current financial status and goals, we'll look at a comprehensive plan to help you achieve this target.

Current Financial Situation
Income and Savings:

Salary: Rs 40,000/month
Monthly SIP: Rs 11,000
Assets:

Mutual Fund Portfolio: Rs 6.7 lakhs
EPF: Rs 3.8 lakhs
Gold: Rs 6 lakhs
Emergency Fund: Rs 2.7 lakhs in savings
Liabilities:

Debt: Rs 2.1 lakhs
Steps to Achieve Rs 1 Crore by Age 40
To achieve your goal, you need a structured plan that involves reducing debt, optimizing savings, and investing wisely.

Debt Reduction
Prioritize Debt Repayment:

Focus on paying off your Rs 2.1 lakhs debt first.
Allocate any additional savings towards debt repayment.
Reducing debt will free up more funds for investments.
Avoid High-Interest Loans:

Refrain from taking high-interest loans like credit cards or personal loans.
This will prevent you from accumulating more debt.
Maintain Good Credit:

Paying off your debt promptly improves your credit score.
A good credit score helps in getting loans at lower interest rates if needed.
Emergency Fund Management
Maintain Adequate Emergency Fund:

Ensure you have 6-12 months of expenses in your emergency fund.
This will cover unexpected expenses without affecting your investments.
Savings Account:

Keep your emergency fund in a high-interest savings account or a liquid mutual fund.
This ensures liquidity and some growth on your emergency fund.
Optimizing Investments
Mutual Funds
Increase SIP Contributions:

Gradually increase your SIP contributions as your income grows.
Aim to allocate at least 20-30% of your salary towards investments.
Diversify Portfolio:

Invest in a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds.
Diversification reduces risk and improves returns.
Actively Managed Funds:

Choose actively managed funds over index funds.
Actively managed funds have the potential to outperform the market.
Regular Reviews:

Review your mutual fund portfolio every 6 months.
Make adjustments based on fund performance and market conditions.
Gold Investments
Limit Gold Investments:

Gold is a good hedge but should not be a primary investment.
Limit gold to 10-15% of your total investment portfolio.
Consider Gold ETFs:

Invest in gold ETFs for better liquidity and market-linked returns.
This avoids the risks and costs associated with physical gold.
Additional Investment Strategies
Public Provident Fund (PPF)
Maximize PPF Contributions:

PPF offers tax benefits and attractive interest rates.
Contribute up to the maximum limit (Rs 1.5 lakhs/year).
Long-Term Growth:

PPF is a long-term investment with a lock-in period of 15 years.
It's a safe investment with guaranteed returns.
Employee Provident Fund (EPF)
Continue EPF Contributions:

EPF is a low-risk investment with employer contributions.
It's a good long-term investment with tax benefits.
Monitor EPF Balance:

Keep track of your EPF balance and ensure contributions are being made regularly.
Importance of Compounding
Start Early:

The earlier you start investing, the more you benefit from compounding.
Your existing investments will grow significantly over time.
Stay Invested:

Avoid withdrawing from your investments prematurely.
Staying invested allows your money to grow through compounding.
Reinvest Returns:

Reinvest dividends and interest earned from your investments.
This enhances the compounding effect.
Tax Planning
Utilize Tax-Saving Instruments:

Invest in tax-saving instruments like ELSS, PPF, and EPF.
This reduces your taxable income and saves money.
Section 80C Deductions:

Make full use of Section 80C deductions (up to Rs 1.5 lakhs/year).
This includes investments in PPF, ELSS, and EPF.
Health Insurance:

Get health insurance to cover medical expenses.
Premiums paid are eligible for tax deductions under Section 80D.
Regular Monitoring and Adjustments
Periodic Reviews:

Review your financial plan every 6 months.
Adjust your investments based on performance and changing goals.
Stay Informed:

Keep abreast of market trends and new investment opportunities.
Staying informed helps in making better investment decisions.
Consult a Certified Financial Planner:

Consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice.
A professional can help you fine-tune your financial strategy.
Final Insights
Your financial journey requires careful planning and disciplined execution. Here are some final insights to help you achieve your goal of Rs 1 crore by age 40:

Focus on Debt Reduction: Pay off your existing debt to free up more funds for investments.
Increase Investment Contributions: Gradually increase your SIP contributions as your income grows.
Diversify Investments: Maintain a diversified portfolio to reduce risk and maximize returns.
Leverage Compounding: Start early and stay invested to benefit from the power of compounding.
Regular Reviews: Regularly review and adjust your financial plan to stay on track.
By following these steps and maintaining discipline, you can achieve your financial goals and secure a comfortable future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7758 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 18, 2024

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Hi I am 36 years old. My monthly income is 80K. I am investing 10000 in PPFCF, 3000 in ICICI psu fund, 2000 in Mirae asset flexi fund & 9000 in RD monthly. My monthly expenses are 50K. I want to build a corpus of 3 Cr by the age of 45 yrs. can you pls review my investments & suggest a plan to reach my goal
Ans: Current Financial Overview
Age: 36 years
Monthly Income: Rs 80,000
Monthly Expenses: Rs 50,000
Current Investments:
Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund (PPFCF): Rs 10,000 per month
ICICI PSU Fund: Rs 3,000 per month
Mirae Asset Flexi Cap Fund: Rs 2,000 per month
Recurring Deposit (RD): Rs 9,000 per month
Financial Goal
Goal: Build a corpus of Rs 3 Crores by the age of 45 (9 years from now)
Investment Review
Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund (PPFCF)

This fund is known for its good performance and diversification. Continue investing here.
ICICI PSU Fund

PSU funds are sector-specific and can be volatile. Consider reducing exposure to sector-specific funds.
Mirae Asset Flexi Cap Fund

This is another good diversified equity fund. Continue investing here.
Recurring Deposit (RD)

RDs are safe but offer lower returns. Consider redirecting this amount to higher return investments.
Suggested Investment Plan
To achieve your goal of Rs 3 Crores in 9 years, you need a focused and aggressive investment strategy. Here's a revised plan:

Increase Equity Exposure
Equity mutual funds offer higher returns over the long term. Allocate more towards diversified equity funds:

Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund: Increase to Rs 15,000 per month.
Mirae Asset Flexi Cap Fund: Increase to Rs 5,000 per month.
Multi Cap Fund: Start with Rs 5,000 per month.
Mid Cap Fund: Start with Rs 5,000 per month for higher growth potential.
Balanced Funds
Balanced funds or hybrid funds provide a mix of equity and debt, offering moderate returns with lower risk:

Balanced Advantage Fund: Start with Rs 5,000 per month.
Reduce Sector-Specific Exposure
ICICI PSU Fund: Reduce or stop investment in this fund. Redirect this amount to diversified or balanced funds.
Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
SIP in Mutual Funds: Set up SIPs in the suggested funds to ensure disciplined investing.
Debt and Liquid Investments
Recurring Deposit (RD): Consider reducing RD contributions. Redirect Rs 4,000 from RD to equity funds. Keep Rs 5,000 in RD for safety and liquidity.
Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund equivalent to 6 months of expenses (Rs 3 Lakhs) in a high-interest savings account or liquid fund.
Additional Investments
If possible, increase your total monthly investment to Rs 35,000. This will help you reach your goal faster.
Monitoring and Adjusting
Regular Review: Review your portfolio every 6 months. Make adjustments based on market conditions and fund performance.
Rebalancing: Rebalance your portfolio annually to maintain the desired asset allocation.
Tax Efficiency
Tax Planning: Use tax-efficient investment options to minimize tax liability. Consider ELSS funds for tax-saving under Section 80C.
Final Insights
Consistency is Key: Stay consistent with your investments. Avoid making changes based on short-term market movements.
Professional Guidance: Consult a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice and to ensure your investment strategy aligns with your goals.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Archana

Archana Deshpande  |99 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Feb 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 07, 2025Hindi
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I have been jobless since 2 years. During COVID, I was undergoing tremendous amount of stress due to the lockdowns & WFH. It had telling effect on me & I realized am going through depression when I joined a job which required me to work from office. I quit job a month after I joined the company where the toxic work culture had a big toll on me to the extent of instilling a fear of formal office environs in me, which continues to this day. I have become a recluse. Now I feel I should have sought professional intervention much earlier, rather than just 6 months back. I lost all confidence of turning up for interviews, leave alone joining some job. I fear & hate admitting that infront of my wife who is very temperamental & nags me consistently about job search, as much as she tries to figure out things in my life. Every day I apply to jobs but every time I fail an interview I console myself thinking that I am saved of botheration of the rigors of a job which I can't face. I don't admit to my wife so as not to infuriate her & don't trust her that she will empathise with my situation in life. Hence try to keep up with good facade. But the results never improve- I failed every interview (calls though are hard to come by) which I fully know that its because I could not give my 100 % energy. Now the reluctance is due to many factors- IT is very fast changing field; I have reached a senior level where there are many expectations on that role which I never got to nurture/grow on myself. So every interview gives me shivers: 1) About my performance 2) (provided am selected somehow) About whether I would be able to fulfill my role to my satisfaction (previous professional experience haunts me to this date). As a result of all this I very often mentally exhaust myself (worrying/ wishful)thinking of things rather than bringing myself to earn money for the family. I feel I am just doing things to fill up my day, languishing by doing things that do not bring any value- rather than positively, pro-actively doing something of my career. Due to the gap of 2 years I do not get favorable response from companies I apply to. That is a very big gap to fill & I can't talk my way into saying things like I was in depression or that I did nothing for those 2 years. That further increases my anxiety, I have grown aversion to this entire goings on. I feel direction-less & drained out all the time. Please help.
Ans: Hello!!

Let's only look at the forward path here pls.

Forget about all the failings so far... Be kind to yourself, whatever happened to you, whatever is happening now, the period of COVID did it to many.

The only way to get out of this is -
1. your willingness to see a beautiful future ahead of you
2. you have already taken the first step by seeking counselling
3. leave the habit of revisiting the past again, like you just said that I should have gone to the counselor earlier, don't do this, be happy you are seeing him/her now
4. you have come so far in life, give yourself some credit, you have not reached the senior position just like that, right? You have reached here with your efforts, you have done it before, you'll do it again, have faith in yourself
5. your wife is your life partner, sit across and talk to her, take her to the counselor make her understand that this a phase where you need her on your side. A facade with your wife is a NO NO, it will come out some day, it is extra strain on you and your relationship, come clean , be truthful and honest with her.
6. make self care a priority ..get your routine in order, it's your life, just don't fill your day with mindless activities, like I said one step in the future, start taking actions now.....get up early, expose yourself to the sun and nature( they are great healers), exercise, have good meals throughout the day, learn something new , join a course which will be job oriented, how about adding an MBA or any other course which will help you in your career or job search?
7. make being joyful a habit... spend time volunteering, go teach underprivileged children or where ever you feel like lending a helping hand
8. value yourself....you were not put here to suffer, take action now.

Forget the past, jo beet gayi so baat gayi( meaningless to talk about the past)... stop blaming, complaining....look into the future with energy and enthusiasm, it's your life man , take one step towards it every day.

Bless you to life your life well..

...Read more

Archana

Archana Deshpande  |99 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

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Dear MAM , I am writing to express some concerns and seek your advice regarding my son who is currently working in the USA after completing his Master's degree. While I am proud of his achievements, I find myself feeling a bit confused about my role as a father during this phase of his life. As he focuses on his career and plans for the future, I wonder if I should expect some support from him for our family's needs, especially considering the financial burden I have undertaken for his education, which amounts to about 1 crore. Additionally, I have responsibilities towards my 90+ year-old mother and my other son, who is also in need of educational support. My son seems to be making all his life decisions independently, including matters relating to his future marriage, without seeking our input. This leaves me feeling sidelined in his life choices. Can you please share your thoughts on how I should navigate this situation? Your guidance would be invaluable as I try to understand my place and expectations in this new dynamic. Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to your response.
Ans: Dear Sir,

He is your son and your blood. You have brought him up ....your values and culture is in him. You have supported him wholeheartedly and you have always been there for him, I am sure he will be there for you too. Just sit down with your son and have a heart to heart talk with him, have the faith that you have brought up your son well, he will listen to your genuine concerns and help you out.

It is just that he is too eager to fly high, the education, the US culture, the freedom is a heady combination right now. Participate in his plans wholeheartedly and with full josh when he shares his plans with you. Don't come in his way, don't demand but ask him to help you out. Please remember that when your child stays away from you, the bonds require efforts to rebuild and make them strong again. Since he is no longer staying with you, he may not have the clear picture of what is happening in your lives here. So please " TALK " to him face to face.

You must be happy that your son has grown up enough to make his life decisions on his own, this is a good sign, he is no longer dependent on you, like you said just be proud of him and be supportive. Love him unconditionally. I know as a parent you feel left out..... what can you do, but to see your little one soar high, trust me I totally understand how you feel. You have given him the wings by funding his education, you can't demand he return the money or pay you back. What you can do is this... give him a proper picture of your financial condition, your younger son's aspirations, he is your eldest, elder children are always responsible, he will come to your rescue and help you out I am very sure of that. Let the language of love and togetherness between the son and father create the magic. Communicate with your child dear father, that's the key, that's the solution.

All the very best!!

...Read more

Mayank

Mayank Chandel  |1984 Answers  |Ask -

IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on Feb 02, 2025

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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