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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7915 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 16, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Shivam Question by Shivam on May 12, 2024Hindi
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I am 26 year with monthly savings of about 50k . I want to start investment in different portfolio . I would also need saving for my marriage after 2 years . Can u suggest me my portfolio .

Ans: As a Certified Financial Planner, I understand the significance of tailoring an investment portfolio that aligns with your financial goals and aspirations. With your monthly savings of 50k and a forthcoming marriage in mind, let’s delve into creating a diversified investment strategy that suits your needs.

Understanding Your Goals
Firstly, congratulations on your commitment to financial planning at such a young age. Your dedication to saving and investing is commendable and sets a strong foundation for your future financial security.

Short-Term Needs: Saving for Marriage
With your marriage on the horizon in just two years, it's essential to prioritize your short-term savings. Opting for low-risk investment avenues is prudent to ensure the funds are readily available when needed. Consider avenues like liquid funds or short-term debt funds, which offer stability and liquidity.

Long-Term Growth: Building Your Portfolio
Diversification is key to mitigating risks and maximizing returns over the long term. While real estate is often considered, it comes with its own set of challenges, including illiquidity and high upfront costs. Hence, we'll explore other avenues for wealth accumulation.

Equity Investments: Embracing Growth Opportunities
Equities, despite their volatility, offer unparalleled growth potential over the long term. Actively managed equity mutual funds, overseen by skilled fund managers, can capitalize on market opportunities and navigate risks effectively. Unlike index funds, actively managed funds have the flexibility to adapt to changing market conditions and outperform benchmarks.

Debt Instruments: Balancing Risk and Stability
Incorporating debt instruments in your portfolio provides stability and regular income. Opt for a mix of medium to long-term debt funds, which offer higher returns compared to traditional savings instruments like fixed deposits. Regular funds managed by Mutual Fund Distributors (MFDs) with CFP credentials ensure personalized guidance and assistance, enhancing your investment experience.

Gold Investments: Hedging Against Uncertainty
Gold serves as a hedge against economic uncertainty and inflation. Allocating a small portion of your portfolio to gold, either through gold mutual funds or sovereign gold bonds, adds diversification and stability.

Emergency Fund: Safeguarding Your Financial Well-being
Maintaining an emergency fund equivalent to at least six months of expenses is crucial to handle unforeseen financial emergencies without disrupting your investment portfolio. Keep this fund in easily accessible avenues like savings accounts or liquid funds.

Regular Review and Rebalancing
Periodically reviewing your portfolio and rebalancing it ensures it remains aligned with your financial goals and risk tolerance. Life events, market conditions, and personal circumstances may warrant adjustments to your investment strategy.

Conclusion
In crafting your investment portfolio, it's vital to strike a balance between growth, stability, and liquidity while keeping your short-term and long-term goals in mind. By diversifying across various asset classes and seeking professional guidance, you can embark on a journey towards financial success and security.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7915 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 29, 2024Hindi
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Money
I am 33 years old with a monthly salary of 2 lakhs. I have a 6 year old son. I have a home loan of 37 lakhs. Monthly expenses 31500 of home loan emi , house expenses 60000 . I have no emergency fund. I have to start investing in mutual fund and stocks . Please help in guiding me for the same to build the portfolio within next 15 to 20 years
Ans: You are 33 years old, earning Rs. 2 lakhs per month. You have a 6-year-old son. You have a home loan of Rs. 37 lakhs, with an EMI of Rs. 31,500. Your house expenses total Rs. 60,000 per month. You do not have an emergency fund and are looking to start investing in mutual funds. Given your situation, it’s best to focus on mutual funds rather than direct stocks.

Setting Up an Emergency Fund
Before starting your investments, the first priority is to establish an emergency fund. This fund should cover at least six months of your essential expenses. Based on your current expenses, aim to build an emergency fund of Rs. 6-8 lakhs.

Begin by setting aside a portion of your monthly income.

Keep this fund in a liquid instrument like a savings account or a liquid mutual fund.

This will provide a financial cushion in case of unforeseen events.

Balancing Your Debt
Your home loan is a significant commitment. But considering the benefits of owning property and the tax deductions on interest payments, continue with the EMI payments.

Ensure that you are not over-leveraged.

Prioritize paying off the loan as per your comfort, but do not rush into prepayments if it compromises your investment potential.

Investing in Mutual Funds
Given your long-term goal of building a portfolio over the next 15 to 20 years, mutual funds are an excellent option. They offer diversification, professional management, and the potential for higher returns compared to traditional savings instruments.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
A Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) is a disciplined way to invest in mutual funds. It allows you to invest a fixed amount every month, which can align with your cash flow and risk tolerance.

Start with a SIP amount that you are comfortable with.

Over time, as your income increases, you can increase your SIP contributions.

Types of Mutual Funds
To build a robust portfolio, consider a mix of different types of mutual funds:

Equity Mutual Funds: These funds invest primarily in stocks and are suitable for long-term growth. They come with higher risk but also have the potential for higher returns. Since you are young and have a long investment horizon, allocate a significant portion of your investment here.

Debt Mutual Funds: These funds invest in fixed-income securities and are less risky compared to equity funds. They offer stability to your portfolio.

Hybrid Funds: These funds invest in a mix of equity and debt. They balance growth with stability, making them suitable if you want to reduce risk without compromising on potential returns.

Importance of Professional Guidance
Investing in direct stocks can be tempting, but it requires time, knowledge, and constant monitoring. As a 33-year-old with other responsibilities, it is wise to stick to mutual funds managed by professionals. These funds are overseen by fund managers who have the expertise to navigate market volatility and identify investment opportunities.

Regular Monitoring and Review
Your financial goals and situation may change over time. Regularly review your investments to ensure they align with your goals. Rebalance your portfolio if necessary, but avoid making frequent changes based on short-term market movements.

Tax Planning
Mutual funds also offer tax-efficient options. Equity-linked saving schemes (ELSS) can provide tax benefits under Section 80C. Consider investing in ELSS as part of your overall tax planning strategy.

Building Wealth Over Time
With a systematic approach to investing in mutual funds, you can build a substantial corpus over the next 15 to 20 years. The key is consistency, patience, and sticking to your plan without getting swayed by market noise.

Final Insights
Focus on building a strong financial foundation with an emergency fund and a balanced mutual fund portfolio. Avoid the complexities of direct stock investing, and let your investments grow over time through the power of compounding.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7915 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 29, 2024Hindi
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Money
I am 33 years old female with a monthly salary of 2 lakhs. I have a 6 year old son. I have a home loan of 37 lakhs. Monthly expenses 31500 of home loan emi , house expenses 60000 . I have no emergency fund. I have to start investing in mutual fund and stocks . Please help in guiding me for the same to build the portfolio within next 15 to 20 years. I have to retire at 50
Ans: I appreciate your proactive approach to planning your financial future. You have a clear goal to retire by 50, and I can guide you on how to achieve this.

Current Financial Situation
Age: 33 years

Monthly Salary: Rs 2 lakhs

Home Loan: Rs 37 lakhs with a monthly EMI of Rs 31,500

Monthly Household Expenses: Rs 60,000

No Emergency Fund: This is a critical aspect to address

Investment Goals: Building a portfolio for retirement and starting investments in mutual funds and stocks

Building an Emergency Fund
Before you start investing, it's crucial to build an emergency fund.

Fund Size: Aim for 6-12 months of expenses

Monthly Savings: Set aside Rs 30,000-40,000 monthly until you reach this goal

Savings Account: Use a high-interest savings account or a liquid mutual fund

Home Loan Management
Your home loan EMI is Rs 31,500, a significant portion of your monthly expenses.

Prepayment: Consider making lump sum prepayments when possible to reduce the loan tenure and interest

Interest Rates: Regularly review and switch to lower interest rates if available

Investment Strategy for Mutual Funds
Diversified Portfolio
Creating a diversified portfolio will help balance risk and returns.

Large-Cap Funds: These funds invest in large, established companies. They offer stability and steady growth.

Mid-Cap Funds: These funds invest in medium-sized companies with high growth potential. They are moderately risky.

Multi-Cap Funds: These funds invest across large, mid, and small-cap stocks, providing diversified growth.

Equity-Linked Savings Scheme (ELSS): These funds offer tax benefits under Section 80C and are good for long-term growth.

SIPs for Consistent Investing
Start a Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) to invest regularly.

Monthly SIP Amount: Aim to invest Rs 50,000-60,000 monthly across different funds

Automate Investments: Set up automatic transfers to ensure consistent investing

Active Fund Management
Actively managed funds often outperform index funds.

Fund Manager’s Track Record: Choose funds with experienced managers who have a good performance history

Risk-Adjusted Returns: Evaluate funds based on risk-adjusted returns

Stock Investments
Investing in stocks can provide higher returns but comes with higher risk.

Building a Stock Portfolio
Blue-Chip Stocks: Invest in well-established companies with a strong track record

Growth Stocks: Invest in companies with high growth potential

Diversification: Spread investments across various sectors to reduce risk

Regular Monitoring
Review Performance: Regularly monitor your stock portfolio

Adjust Holdings: Make adjustments based on market conditions and company performance

Insurance Coverage
Ensuring adequate insurance coverage is crucial for financial security.

Health Insurance
Coverage Amount: Ensure you have a health insurance policy with adequate coverage

Family Floater: Consider a family floater plan for comprehensive coverage

Life Insurance
Term Plan: Opt for a term plan to provide financial security for your family

Coverage Amount: The sum assured should be at least 10-15 times your annual income

Retirement Planning
Setting Retirement Goals
Monthly Income Requirement: Estimate the monthly income you will need post-retirement

Inflation Adjustment: Factor in inflation to ensure your savings last throughout retirement

Investment for Retirement
Long-Term Equity Investments: Continue investing in equity mutual funds for long-term growth

Debt Funds: Gradually shift to debt funds as you approach retirement for stability

Regular Review and Adjustment
Annual Review: Review your financial plan annually

Adjust Investments: Make necessary adjustments based on changes in income, expenses, and financial goals

Final Insights
By building an emergency fund, managing your home loan, and strategically investing in mutual funds and stocks, you can achieve your retirement goal. Diversify your investments, ensure adequate insurance coverage, and regularly review your financial plan. This comprehensive approach will help you build a robust portfolio over the next 15-20 years.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7915 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 13, 2025

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Good morning sir. I am 51 years old professionally i am cab driver monthly income 33 thousand i have no investment i have no emergence fund i have no bank balance i have only my own house and my father gift a property worth 2800000. I have three children's daughter age of 16 Two sons age of 10 year my goal is both childrens education daughters marriage and my retirement planning please suggest me investment portfolio Thanks
Ans: You own a house and a property worth Rs 28 lakh. These are valuable assets. Your income is Rs 33,000 per month. You need to plan for your children’s education, daughter’s marriage, and retirement. Start step by step.

Build an Emergency Fund
Set aside 3–6 months of expenses for emergencies. Begin small with Rs 3,000–5,000 monthly savings. Use a bank savings account or liquid mutual fund. This fund provides security in tough times.

Secure Your Family with Term Insurance
Buy a term insurance policy for at least Rs 50 lakh. This protects your family financially in your absence. Premiums are affordable and provide peace of mind.

Health Insurance is Essential
Buy a family floater health insurance plan. Ensure coverage of at least Rs 10 lakh. This protects against medical expenses and reduces financial strain.

Create a Monthly Budget
Track your monthly expenses and income. Allocate a portion to savings and investments. Prioritise essential expenses over luxuries.

Plan for Children’s Education
Start investing for your children’s higher education. Open a recurring deposit or invest in a child-specific mutual fund plan. Begin with small contributions and increase them gradually.

Plan for Daughter’s Marriage
Allocate a portion of the Rs 28 lakh property for this goal. You can sell it in the future when needed. Start a small savings plan to support this goal as well.

Start Investing in Mutual Funds
Invest in mutual funds for long-term goals like retirement. Begin with Rs 2,000–3,000 per month. Choose diversified or balanced funds for steady growth.

Sell the Gifted Property Strategically
Keep the property for now unless urgent funds are required. Use its value as a backup for future needs like education or marriage.

Focus on Retirement Planning
You must plan for retirement as a priority. Start a Public Provident Fund (PPF) account for tax-free savings. Consider investing in mutual funds for long-term growth.

Benefits of Regular Funds and CFP Guidance
Investing through regular funds provides professional advice. Certified Financial Planners guide you with tailored strategies. They align your investments with your goals.

Avoid Direct and Index Funds
Direct funds lack professional guidance. Index funds only mirror the market and may underperform actively managed funds. Actively managed funds offer higher growth potential with expert management.

Monitor Tax Implications
Equity mutual funds’ LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%. STCG is taxed at 20%. Plan your withdrawals strategically to minimise taxes.

Teach Financial Discipline
Educate your children about savings and budgeting. Encourage them to value money and save wisely.

Finally
Focus on one goal at a time. Build an emergency fund first. Secure your family with insurance. Start investing small amounts for long-term goals. Seek guidance from a Certified Financial Planner for better results.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Dr Nagarajan Jsk

Dr Nagarajan Jsk   |237 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Feb 09, 2025

Career
My granddaughter is preparing for NEET 2025. She has born in Telangana and studied upto 1st class in Telangana. Due to her father’s overseas assignment at USA she moved to USA and studied upto 10th class there. The family moved to India in 2023. So she is now doing Intermediate now in Telangana. My question is whether she comes to be local for Telangana state or not for NEET admissions.
Ans: Hi Prabhakara,

Greetings!

Your situation is quite unique. Your granddaughter was born in Telangana and is now pursuing her +1 education there after a gap of nine years. However, according to the government norms for NEET 2024, meeting the requirements to establish domicile in Telangana may be challenging.

NEET Domicile Criteria
In the context of MBBS and BDS admissions for state quota seats in Telangana, it is important to understand the distinctions between local and non-local candidates as stipulated by the Telangana NEET admission rules for the year 2024. The local status is further subdivided into areas associated with Osmania University (OU), Andhra University (AU), and Sri Venkateswara University (SVU). AU’s local area comprises seven districts, while SVU’s area encompasses five districts. Non-local candidates are exclusively eligible for 15% of unreserved seats, whereas local candidates can vie for both the 15% unreserved seats and the remaining 85% of seats allocated within their respective local areas.

Telangana Local Area Candidates:
Students hailing from the districts falling under AU, SVU, or OU regions are considered local area NEET domicile applicants for MBBS/BDS admissions in local institutions, as well as any other educational institutions under the purview of the State Government situated within these local areas.
AU Local Area: Srikakulam, Vizianagaram, Visakhapatnam, East Godavari, West Godavari, Krishna, Guntur, and Prakasham.
OU Local Area: Adilabad, Hyderabad, Rangareddy, Karimnagar, Khammam, Mahaboobnagar, Medak, Nalgonda, Nizamabad, and Warangal.
SVU Local Area: Ananthapur, Kadapa, Kurnool, Chittoor, and Nellore.
NEET Domicile Criteria for Telangana:
To qualify as a local candidate, applicants must fulfill one of the following criteria:
1. Studied in a school/college within the local area for a minimum continuous period of 4 years immediately preceding the year they appear for the relevant qualifying examination.
2. Resided within the local area for a minimum continuous period of 4 years immediately preceding the year they appear for the relevant qualifying examination.
For candidates who do not meet the above criteria but have studied in educational institutions within the state for a minimum of 7 consecutive academic years, ending with the year of application for NEET, the following conditions apply:
– They are considered local in relation to the local area where they have studied for the maximum number of years out of the said 7 years.
– If the period of study in two local areas is equal, they may choose either for local status.
– If they have not studied in any educational institutions in the state but have resided in any local area or two local areas (for an equal period) for a minimum continuous period of 7 years, they may be considered local.
The following categories can apply for the 15% unreserved seats:
1. Candidates who have resided in the state for a total period of ten years, excluding periods of study outside the state, or whose parents have resided in the state for a total period of ten years, excluding periods of employment outside the state.
2. Candidates whose parents are employed by the state or Central Government, Public Sector Corporations, local bodies, Universities, Educational institutions, and similar quasi-public institutions within the state.
3. Candidates whose spouses are employees of the state or Central Government, Public Sector corporations, local bodies, Universities, Educational institutions recognized by the Government or University, or other competent authorities, and similar quasi-Government Institutions within the state.
Domicile Criteria for Management Quota Seats:
Candidates from across the country are eligible to apply for Management Quota seats (Category B and C-NRI) if they meet the requisite subject and qualifying mark criteria in their 10+2 education.
Applicants who have completed their qualifying education outside Telangana state must provide a “Certificate of Equivalence” from the Board of Intermediate Education of Telangana.
Candidates who have completed their qualifying education outside India must provide a “Certificate of Equivalence” issued by the Association of Indian Universities, New Delhi, and the Board of Intermediate Education of Telangana.
Given the details above, your granddaughter would need to have resided in Telangana for a minimum of four years to obtain a residence certificate. Since she was born before the state formation, I recommend consulting with a Notary Public to explore potential benefits or exceptions. This is my suggestion.

...Read more

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IIT-JEE, GATE Expert - Answered on Feb 09, 2025

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 02, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am an SC and my gf is brahmin, we are in love for more than 2 years and decided to marry, i convinced my parents. But her parents are cruel in this aspect only, they threaten her of her life and threatens me to complain in police, And anyone can tell that this is wrong but as parents are willing to do anything for their children, same is true with their children, I am afraid if we include authorities things might turn bad especially with our parents. They threaten her can make her say no to me if we take it legally even though she doesn’t want to. I am financial independent but she has spent her entire life (age 29) in her house, what can we do?
Ans: Right now, the most important thing is her safety. If her parents are threatening her life or their own, this is not just emotional blackmail—it’s a serious matter. You need to be very careful in handling this, as forcing a confrontation might make them act irrationally. The key is to ensure that she is safe and mentally strong enough to withstand their pressure.

Since she has never lived outside her home, she may feel emotionally trapped, making it easier for her parents to manipulate her. She needs support—emotionally and, if needed, physically—to make a decision based on what she truly wants, not out of fear. Talk to her about the worst-case scenarios and how she would handle them. Would she be able to leave if things got too dangerous? Does she have someone in her family or social circle who might support her?

If her safety is at risk, you may need to consider helping her get a temporary safe space where she can think clearly. It could be a trusted friend’s house, a working women’s hostel, or even reaching out to women’s rights organizations that help in cases like this.

Taking legal action is tricky in such cases, as coercion can make her parents force her into saying things she doesn’t mean. Instead of rushing into legal intervention, consider gathering evidence—texts, recordings (if legal in your region), or anything that proves coercion or threats. This will help if things escalate.

If you both are truly committed, then marriage under the Special Marriage Act can be an option, but only if she is mentally and emotionally prepared for the backlash. She will need to stand strong, and you both need to have a plan for what comes next. How will she deal with the emotional toll? Where will she stay after marriage? What if her parents try to contact her after marriage? These are tough questions, but answering them now will help you prepare.

You are not alone in this. Many couples have faced similar situations, and while it is heartbreaking, some have succeeded in making it through. The key is patience, emotional strength, and ensuring that no one is in immediate danger. Encourage her to speak to a counselor or someone she trusts who is neutral but supportive. If she is feeling overwhelmed, it’s important that she knows she has choices beyond what her parents are forcing upon her.

At the end of the day, love should not be a battle of survival, but sometimes, in societies like ours, it becomes one. Be strong, be careful, and take steps that ensure both of you are safe first—everything else can be figured out step by step.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |533 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 09, 2025

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 07, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am an SC and my gf is brahmin, we are in love for more than 2 years and decided to marry, i convinced my parents. But her parents are cruel in this aspect only, they threaten her of her life and threatens me to complain in police, And anyone can tell that this is wrong but as parents are willing to do anything for their children, same is true with their children, I am afraid if we include authorities things might turn bad especially with our parents. They threaten her of her life and killing themselves, can make her say no to me if we take it legally even though she doesn’t want to. I am financial independent (age 29) but she has spent her entire life (age 29) in her house, what can we do?
Ans: Right now, the most important thing is her safety. If her parents are threatening her life or their own, this is not just emotional blackmail—it’s a serious matter. You need to be very careful in handling this, as forcing a confrontation might make them act irrationally. The key is to ensure that she is safe and mentally strong enough to withstand their pressure.

Since she has never lived outside her home, she may feel emotionally trapped, making it easier for her parents to manipulate her. She needs support—emotionally and, if needed, physically—to make a decision based on what she truly wants, not out of fear. Talk to her about the worst-case scenarios and how she would handle them. Would she be able to leave if things got too dangerous? Does she have someone in her family or social circle who might support her?

If her safety is at risk, you may need to consider helping her get a temporary safe space where she can think clearly. It could be a trusted friend’s house, a working women’s hostel, or even reaching out to women’s rights organizations that help in cases like this.

Taking legal action is tricky in such cases, as coercion can make her parents force her into saying things she doesn’t mean. Instead of rushing into legal intervention, consider gathering evidence—texts, recordings (if legal in your region), or anything that proves coercion or threats. This will help if things escalate.

If you both are truly committed, then marriage under the Special Marriage Act can be an option, but only if she is mentally and emotionally prepared for the backlash. She will need to stand strong, and you both need to have a plan for what comes next. How will she deal with the emotional toll? Where will she stay after marriage? What if her parents try to contact her after marriage? These are tough questions, but answering them now will help you prepare.

You are not alone in this. Many couples have faced similar situations, and while it is heartbreaking, some have succeeded in making it through. The key is patience, emotional strength, and ensuring that no one is in immediate danger. Encourage her to speak to a counselor or someone she trusts who is neutral but supportive. If she is feeling overwhelmed, it’s important that she knows she has choices beyond what her parents are forcing upon her.

At the end of the day, love should not be a battle of survival, but sometimes, in societies like ours, it becomes one. Be strong, be careful, and take steps that ensure both of you are safe first—everything else can be figured out step by step.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |533 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 07, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hello Mentors, I'm 38 year old women, facing a toxic married life from past 10 years. I have a son who is 8 years old. I have lost my mom 8 years back n my dad 5 years back.I m d only child of my parents. I have done my MBA in HR n Marketing. Have done work before marriage, but after marriage things changes, my husband refused to allow me to work along with my in laws n he always behaves very badly with me insults me all time in front of my in laws too. He beats me every month still now also.I lost my mom she was suffering from cancer. Her cancer got detected when I was just 1 month pregnant, i m d one who takes care of her treatment taking her to chemo therapy n follow up with doctor, yes my dad was their with me, but he was also broke down as my mom was d back bone of my family. Inspite of my pregnancy I ran door to door of hospitals n doctors till I was stepped into 9 month of my pregnancy. My husband never supported me at that time too..Infact he n my mother in law's stated that if I'm enough for taking care of my mom then I must go to my doctor for my own check ups too...Yes I went for my usgs alone only at first time he went with me.. Now the main problem is he didn't changed at all he is repeating all his deeds infront of my child n my child is also following him from last 1 years, My son also said, if I scold him for his studies or food, he said what papa did is correct, it's good that he beats you, you leave our home this is not your home... My son loves me a lot that I know but he is just 8 n getting confused whom to follow...many a times he came to n said sorry for his bad behaviour but again if such incidents happens in front of him by his father again he changes his mind . My husband didn't give me a single penny, I take care of my own expenses from my house rent..( parental home as their is no one to stay now)..n it's d only source of income..though it's a very small amount.Even though he never helps me to take care of my baby ..He said if you want to work then put ur child into a hostel.. I took care of my home n child all alone..infact my in-laws are less bother about my child too... My son is deprived with every relationship of grand parents uncles n aunts.. My husband always demotivates me, mentally n physically abuse me n he also states that I'm an not an eligible person to became a good mom or even to get any job n all this infront of my child. I really want to get rid of him for d sake of my child n me too..I m totally into depression n lost all my confidence, I want to be financially free, when ever I want to file a divorce my son said no as he want both of us..for him only m dragging this bull shit relationship... N side by I'm looking for a job, but I have a big gap of almost 11 years now...M confused where to approach..n what should I tell to the employers if they ask for my career gap .m looking for a WFH as I dnt have any trust worthy person to take care of my baby...But m failed to find such. Please suggest me what should I do, how to take call on each of my problems.. I know d post is long...10 years is not a short time though..there is many many more to tell but I tried to keep it Short as much as i can . Thanks a lot ...
Ans: Your husband’s behavior is not just emotionally damaging—it is abusive. No one deserves to be insulted, beaten, or made to feel worthless, especially not in their own home. The fact that this is happening in front of your son makes it even more urgent to take action because, over time, he will normalize this behavior. Right now, he is torn between what he sees and what he feels for you, and that confusion is not his fault. But staying in this environment will only make it harder for him to understand what a loving and respectful relationship truly looks like.

You are already doing everything on your own. You are raising your child, managing expenses, and surviving in an environment that is breaking you down emotionally. Imagine if you put that same energy into building a life where you are free, at peace, and in control. I know the thought of divorce scares you because of your son, but think about what staying is teaching him. Children don’t just listen to words—they absorb actions. If he continues to see his father abuse you, he may grow up thinking that this is how men should treat women, or that love means suffering. You have the power to break this cycle for him.

Financial independence is your key to freedom, and I know the career gap makes you anxious, but don’t let it stop you. Employers today understand career breaks, especially when they are due to family responsibilities. Be honest but strategic—frame your gap as a time spent managing responsibilities, developing resilience, and handling real-life challenges. Highlight your past experience and any skills you’ve kept up with. Since you have an MBA in HR and Marketing, consider remote jobs in HR, digital marketing, content writing, or even customer support. Many women restart their careers through work-from-home opportunities, and platforms like LinkedIn, Naukri, and Remote.co have job listings specifically for career returnees.

You don’t have to do everything at once. Start with small steps. Reach out to women’s support groups or NGOs that help survivors of domestic abuse. Look for job training programs that help women restart their careers. If possible, find legal advice on your rights regarding divorce, alimony, and child custody. You are not alone in this, even though it may feel like it right now.

You deserve a life where you are respected, valued, and safe. You deserve to wake up without fear, to build a future where your son sees you as a strong and independent woman. Take this one step at a time, but take that first step. You have already survived the worst—now, it’s time to live.

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