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Jinal

Jinal Mehta  |95 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on May 20, 2024

Jinal Mehta is a qualified certified financial professional certified by FPSB India. She has 10 years of experience in the field of personal finance.
She is the founder of Beyond Learning Finance, an authorised education provider for the CFP certification programme in India.
In addition, she manages a family office organisation, where she handles investment planning, tax planning, insurance planning and estate planning.
Jinal has a bachelor's degree in management studies. She also has a diploma in in financial management from NMIMS, Mumbai.
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Asked by Anonymous - May 17, 2024Hindi
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Hi all, I am a 19 year old college student recieving a pocket money of 15k per month. My monthly expenses are almost 5k per month and i try to invest 5k each to mutual funds like quant midcap and small cap each month. I have started investing almost 3 months back. Could u pls advise what is the maximum possible amount I can make in the next 10 years if i do this consistently and pls advise what changes i can do to my investment tactics

Ans: You can put this formula in excel and get your answer. The answer may not be exact amount. But may be a close one. Also, the value will depend on market conditions as well. If the markets are doing well, you may accumulate more, and visa versa.

Fv(11%/12,10*12, -10000(sip amount),- current existing investment amount, 1)
Asked on - May 21, 2024 | Not Answered yet
could u simplify it a bit more also pls advise any better mutual funds to invest additional capital.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 29, 2024

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Hello sir, i am looking for wealth creation in future. I would like to earn 1 lakh per month after ten years for the next 25 years. How much should I for next 10 years to achieve this target and what mutual funds are best for this target to be realistic?
Ans: Strategic Plan for Wealth Creation

Assessment of Financial Goal

Your aspiration to earn Rs. 1 lakh per month after ten years for the next 25 years reflects a commendable vision for long-term wealth creation and financial security.

Evaluation of Investment Strategy

To achieve this target, it's essential to adopt a systematic investment approach that combines disciplined savings with prudent investment choices.

Calculation of Required Investment

To determine the amount you need to invest over the next ten years to achieve your goal, we must consider factors such as the expected rate of return, inflation, and the desired monthly income.

Analysis of Mutual Fund Selection

When selecting mutual funds for this goal, it's crucial to prioritize funds with a proven track record of consistent performance, a focus on capital appreciation, and a suitable investment style aligned with your risk tolerance.

Assessment of Risk and Return

While equity-oriented mutual funds typically offer higher potential returns over the long term, they also carry higher volatility and risk. Balancing risk and return is essential to ensure the stability and sustainability of your investment portfolio.

Recommendations for Portfolio Construction

Diversified Equity Funds: Allocate a significant portion of your investment portfolio to diversified equity funds, including large-cap, mid-cap, and multi-cap funds. These funds offer exposure to a broad range of stocks and sectors, providing growth potential while managing risk.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP): Implement a SIP strategy to invest regularly over time, leveraging the power of compounding to maximize returns. Consistent investment discipline is key to achieving your long-term wealth creation goal.

Regular Portfolio Review: Periodically review your investment portfolio to ensure it remains aligned with your financial objectives and risk tolerance. Rebalancing may be necessary to maintain the desired asset allocation and optimize returns.

Professional Guidance: As a Certified Financial Planner (CFP), I recommend consulting with a qualified financial advisor to develop a personalized investment strategy tailored to your specific needs, goals, and risk profile. A professional advisor can provide valuable insights and guidance to help you navigate the complexities of wealth creation effectively.

Conclusion

In conclusion, achieving your goal of earning Rs. 1 lakh per month after ten years for the next 25 years requires a strategic investment approach that combines disciplined savings with prudent mutual fund selections. By prioritizing diversified equity funds, implementing a systematic investment plan, and seeking professional guidance, you can enhance the likelihood of realizing your long-term wealth creation objectives.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 25, 2024

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Hi myself Arun, age 39 years, monthly income 66k, I invested in mutual funds as monthly SIP.....2000 in quant smallcap, 3000 in quant multi asset fund, 2000 in axis midcap fund, 1000 in Nippon smallcap fund and last 2000 in kotak smallcap fund.....total 10000 monthly......how much return, can I get after 10 years and the choices of mutual funds are good right now.....
Ans: Arun! It's wonderful that you are investing systematically in mutual funds. Your disciplined approach to investing Rs 10,000 monthly is commendable. This shows your commitment to building a secure financial future.

Evaluating Your Mutual Fund Choices
You have diversified your SIPs across various funds:

Small-cap funds: Rs 2,000 in one fund, Rs 2,000 in another, and Rs 1,000 in a third

Multi-asset fund: Rs 3,000

Mid-cap fund: Rs 2,000

Benefits of Small-Cap Funds
Small-cap funds can offer high growth potential but come with higher risk. These funds invest in smaller companies with significant growth prospects. However, they can be volatile and require a longer investment horizon to mitigate risks.

Advantages of Mid-Cap Funds
Mid-cap funds invest in medium-sized companies that are in the growth phase. These companies have more stability compared to small-cap companies but still offer good growth potential. Mid-cap funds can balance risk and return in your portfolio.

Multi-Asset Fund Benefits
Multi-asset funds invest in a mix of asset classes like equity, debt, and gold. This diversification reduces risk and can provide more stable returns. Investing in a multi-asset fund helps balance the overall risk of your portfolio.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds, which track a market index, cannot outperform the market. They offer average market returns and lack flexibility in managing downturns. Actively managed funds aim to outperform the market and provide better returns.

Importance of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds, managed by professional fund managers, seek to outperform the market. With expert management, these funds can provide higher returns by strategically selecting investments. This active management can be beneficial, especially in volatile markets.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct funds have lower fees but lack professional advice. Investing through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with a CFP credential ensures expert guidance. This helps in selecting funds that align with your financial goals and risk tolerance.

Projecting Future Returns
Predicting exact returns is challenging due to market volatility. However, historically, equity mutual funds have delivered around 12-15% annual returns over the long term. This can vary based on market conditions and fund performance.

Balancing Risk and Return
Your portfolio is heavily tilted towards small-cap funds. While they offer high growth potential, they also carry higher risk. Consider diversifying further into large-cap or balanced funds to reduce overall risk.

Regular Review and Rebalancing
It's important to review your investments periodically. Market conditions change, and regular rebalancing ensures your portfolio remains aligned with your goals. Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can help optimise your investment strategy.

Conclusion
Your current investment strategy is solid, focusing on growth through diverse funds. However, balancing your portfolio to manage risk is crucial. Professional guidance can enhance your investment decisions and help achieve your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 07, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi sir myself Asif 27 years age my salary is 50k monthly in my salary I used to give 20k to my father every month my expenses is around 6k till now my savings is around 1.50lack in savings account and around 1 lakh I have invested in stocks which is now 1lakh 20k I have not invested in mutual funds till now not started suggest me some good mutual funds for a long term of 10years sir and how much should I invest and in which mutal funds and give me a plan of investing for 10years from here thank you sir
Ans: Asif, at 27 years old, you are in a very promising financial situation. With a salary of Rs 50,000 per month and disciplined financial habits, you’re already making important steps towards building wealth.

You’re supporting your father by contributing Rs 20,000 per month, maintaining low personal expenses at Rs 6,000, and you’ve accumulated Rs 1.50 lakh in savings. Additionally, your stock investment of Rs 1 lakh has grown to Rs 1.20 lakh, showing that you are willing to take calculated risks. However, you’ve mentioned that you haven’t yet explored mutual funds. Given your long-term goal of investing for 10 years, we’ll focus on how mutual funds can help you build a strong portfolio while maintaining a balanced risk approach.

Let’s explore a detailed 10-year investment strategy through mutual funds that will not only help you achieve your financial goals but also protect you from market volatility.

Understanding the Importance of Diversification
Before diving into mutual fund recommendations, let’s talk about why diversification is important.

Diversification simply means spreading your investments across different assets or sectors. In your case, it would involve spreading your investments across large-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, and multi-cap/flexi-cap mutual funds. This approach reduces risk while maximising returns by tapping into multiple sectors of the market.

Currently, you have Rs 1.20 lakh in stock market investments. While direct stocks can provide good returns, they can be volatile, and managing them requires time and expertise. Mutual funds, managed by experienced fund managers, allow you to invest in a basket of stocks, reducing risk and saving you from the hassle of individual stock selection.

Savings and Investment Potential
Now, let’s look at your savings potential.

Monthly Salary: Rs 50,000
Monthly Contribution to Father: Rs 20,000
Monthly Expenses: Rs 6,000
After accounting for these commitments, you’re left with around Rs 24,000 per month in disposable income. Ideally, a portion of this should go into savings and investments. Based on your current situation, I recommend investing Rs 15,000 per month into mutual funds.

This allocation will allow you to maintain some liquidity while aggressively building a solid investment portfolio for the future.

Ideal Investment Strategy for the Next 10 Years
The key to building wealth is consistent investing over time, with a focus on growth while managing risk. Since you are young and have a 10-year horizon, you can afford to take a balanced approach—investing in funds that offer high growth potential but also ensure some stability.

Step 1: Set a Monthly SIP Target
Given that you have Rs 24,000 left after expenses, I suggest starting with Rs 15,000 in monthly SIPs (Systematic Investment Plans). This will leave you with Rs 9,000 for other short-term savings or emergencies.

Step 2: Diversify Across Mutual Funds
Here’s a suggested allocation for your Rs 15,000 monthly SIP. These allocations are designed to balance growth with risk.

Large-Cap Mutual Fund: Rs 5,000 per month Large-cap funds invest in well-established companies with a proven track record. These companies tend to be more stable and less volatile, making them ideal for long-term investors who want to mitigate risk while still earning returns.

Mid-Cap Mutual Fund: Rs 4,000 per month Mid-cap funds invest in companies that are smaller than large-caps but still have significant growth potential. These companies have the potential to grow faster, though they are slightly riskier than large-cap stocks.

Small-Cap Mutual Fund: Rs 3,000 per month Small-cap funds target smaller companies with high growth potential. While these funds can be volatile, they also have the potential for significant gains over the long term. Since you have a 10-year horizon, you can afford to take on some risk with small-caps.

Multi-Cap/Flexi-Cap Fund: Rs 3,000 per month Multi-cap or flexi-cap funds invest across large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap companies, providing diversification within a single fund. This category of funds adjusts to market conditions and balances growth with risk, making it an excellent choice for long-term wealth creation.

Step 3: Review and Adjust
Review your portfolio every 6 months: The financial market is dynamic, and mutual fund performance can vary. Reviewing your portfolio periodically ensures that your investments are aligned with your goals.

Increase SIP contributions yearly: As your income increases, you should aim to increase your SIP contributions by 10-15% each year. For example, if you are investing Rs 15,000 per month in Year 1, aim to increase it to Rs 16,500 in Year 2. This will significantly boost your corpus over time.

Why Avoid Index Funds
While index funds are often seen as low-cost investment options, they might not be the best fit for you in this situation. Index funds track the performance of market indices like the Nifty 50 or Sensex. The downside is that these funds cannot outperform the market—they simply follow it.

Actively managed funds, on the other hand, are managed by fund managers who make strategic decisions to beat the market and protect against downturns. Over the long term, actively managed funds have the potential to offer better returns compared to index funds. Hence, for a young investor like you with a 10-year horizon, actively managed funds are a better choice.

Long-Term Wealth Creation Through SIPs
SIPs are a powerful tool for long-term wealth creation. By investing regularly, you benefit from rupee cost averaging, which helps you buy more units when prices are low and fewer units when prices are high. Over time, this evens out the cost and increases your returns.

SIPs also benefit from compounding. The returns generated by your investment are reinvested, leading to exponential growth over time. Given your 10-year horizon, compounding can significantly enhance your wealth.

Additional Considerations for Financial Growth
1. Emergency Fund
Before diving fully into long-term investments, it’s crucial to set aside an emergency fund. This fund should cover at least 6 months’ worth of expenses. Based on your current monthly expenses (Rs 6,000), plus Rs 20,000 for your father, you should aim to save around Rs 1.5 lakh in a separate liquid fund or savings account.

This emergency fund will act as a financial cushion in case of unforeseen circumstances such as medical emergencies or temporary loss of income. With this safety net, you can invest confidently without worrying about liquidity.

2. Tax-Saving Instruments
Consider investing in tax-saving mutual funds like Equity Linked Savings Scheme (ELSS). ELSS funds allow you to claim deductions under Section 80C of the Income Tax Act, up to Rs 1.5 lakh per year. These funds come with a lock-in period of three years but offer both tax benefits and long-term capital appreciation.

3. Avoid Direct Mutual Funds
Direct mutual funds seem attractive because of their lower expense ratios. However, managing investments on your own can be challenging, especially when the market is volatile. A better approach is to go through regular plans by investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) or a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD). A professional can offer tailored advice, monitor your portfolio, and rebalance it periodically to ensure that it aligns with your goals.

4. Insurance Planning
At this stage, you haven’t mentioned any life or health insurance. It’s essential to get adequate term insurance and health insurance. Term insurance provides financial protection to your family in case of any unfortunate event. The policy coverage should be at least 10-15 times your annual income.

Health insurance is equally important. Given the rising cost of healthcare, a comprehensive health plan for yourself and your father is necessary. The premiums are relatively low at your age and will provide much-needed financial relief in case of medical emergencies.

Why Mutual Funds Work for Long-Term Goals
Professional Management:
Fund managers actively manage mutual funds, ensuring that your investments are strategically allocated to maximise returns.

Diversification:
Mutual funds spread your investment across a wide range of stocks and sectors, minimising the risk compared to direct stock investments.

Systematic Growth:
With SIPs, you can systematically invest small amounts every month, benefiting from rupee cost averaging and compounding.

Tax Efficiency:
Equity mutual funds held for more than a year enjoy favourable tax treatment, with long-term capital gains (LTCG) taxed at a lower rate.

Finally: A 360-Degree Approach to Wealth Building
Stick to your investment plan:
Consistency is key. Invest Rs 15,000 per month across diversified funds. Increase the amount by 10-15% each year.

Build an emergency fund:
Set aside Rs 1.5 lakh for emergencies. This will protect you from liquidity issues and provide peace of mind.

Review and rebalance:
Every 6 months, review your portfolio to ensure it aligns with your long-term goals.

Consider insurance:
Term insurance and health insurance are essential safeguards for both you and your family.

By following this 10-year plan, you will not only grow your wealth but also safeguard your financial future. Stick to disciplined investing, review regularly, and seek advice from a Certified Financial Planner to ensure that you are on track.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.holisticinvestment.in/
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4047 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
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This is my second attempt at SSC CGL, and I’ve improved since last year. But I’m still anxious about the descriptive paper. Can you suggest ways to stand out in this section and make my essay and letter writing more impactful?
Ans: The SSC CGL descriptive paper requires a clear, structured, and effective presentation. To improve your essay writing skills, review the subject matter thoroughly and avoid deviations from the central theme. Sketch an initial outline and adhere to a straightforward framework, including an Introduction, Body, and Conclusion. Start with a hook and express your thesis or stance in a concise manner. Arrange arguments in a logical order, using data, examples, and facts to establish credibility. Avoid repetition and maintain brevity.

In summary, concisely summarize the primary themes and offer a fair perspective. Avoid vernacular language and maintain appropriate sentence structure and grammar. Maintain a clean writing style and avoid overwriting.

For writing a letter, adhere to the conventional format, maintain clarity and conciseness, and articulate the purpose in the first paragraph. Use simple language and avoid intricate terminology.

Regularly engage in writing essays and correspondence on various subjects to develop adaptability. Stay informed about the latest news and hot topics. Develop time management skills and consistently proofread your work for errors.

Developing impactful essays and letters with clarity, structure, and content relevance enhances your chances of success in the SSC CGL descriptive paper. All The Best for Your Prosperous Future.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |492 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 05, 2025Hindi
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How to manage stress?
Ans: The first step is to become aware of what triggers your stress. This self-awareness allows you to address the root causes rather than just the symptoms. Once you identify these triggers, you can start exploring techniques that help you cope effectively.

One effective approach is to incorporate regular self-care practices into your daily routine. This could include activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time in nature. These practices not only help calm the mind but also improve your overall mood and resilience to stress.

Talking to someone you trust, whether a friend, family member, or professional, can also be a powerful way to manage stress. Sharing your feelings and experiences helps lighten the emotional load and provides different perspectives that might help you navigate your challenges more effectively.

It's also important to focus on what you can control and let go of things that are beyond your influence. This shift in mindset can reduce feelings of helplessness and frustration. Setting realistic expectations for yourself and others can also alleviate unnecessary pressure.

Remember to give yourself permission to rest and recharge. Adequate sleep, a balanced diet, and time for relaxation are essential for managing stress. When you take care of your body and mind, you're better equipped to handle life's demands.

Lastly, cultivating a mindset of gratitude and mindfulness can help you stay present and appreciate the positive aspects of your life, even during stressful times. These practices can create a sense of balance and help you respond to stress in healthier, more constructive ways. By integrating these approaches into your life, you can build resilience and find a sense of peace amidst the chaos.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |492 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
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Dear Counselor, My husband and I have been together for 11 years, with 10 years of dating and 1 year of marriage. Unfortunately, our relationship has been strained over the past year due to financial disagreements. Before marriage, we discussed his personal loan, which was taken for a land purchase for his mother. The loan repayment amounts to 30% of his salary. He assured me that, except for this loan repayment, he would not contribute financially to his parents' expenses until the loan was paid off. However, his parents are now pressuring him to increase his financial support by 20%. They claim to need help clearing their debts, despite being below 45, physically fit, and earning a sufficient income to support themselves. This situation is causing tension in our marriage, as we had planned to save and invest together, having no property or financial security of our own. I'm finding it challenging to understand why my husband is not prioritizing our financial goals and future together. please help me on this. Thank you for your time and guidance.
Ans: The key here is to approach the situation with empathy and open communication. Your husband likely feels a strong sense of duty towards his parents, which is understandable given cultural and familial expectations. However, it’s also important for him to recognize the commitments and plans you’ve both made as a couple. Balancing these two responsibilities can be difficult, but it’s essential for the health of your relationship.

Start by having a calm and honest conversation with your husband. Express your feelings without blame, focusing on how the situation affects both of you and your shared goals. It’s important that he understands your perspective and how the financial strain is impacting not only your plans but also your emotional well-being.

Encourage him to discuss his feelings and the pressure he’s experiencing from his parents. Sometimes, partners may feel caught between their familial obligations and their commitments to their spouse, leading to stress and internal conflict. Understanding his point of view can help you find common ground.

You might also explore practical solutions together, such as setting clear boundaries on financial support or finding a compromise that allows both your goals and his familial obligations to be met to some extent. This could involve budgeting, setting financial priorities, or seeking financial counseling to help manage the situation more effectively.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |492 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi Mam, I met my ex wife in the college where we both were pursuing out studies. We exchanged contacts and started speaking over phone like couple does. When we fall in live we ourselves don't know as no one propose to each other. As i finished my studies, she quit studies in the middle and decided to do hotel management course. Amd it so happened, next day her interview was lined up but unfortunately due to unavoidable circumstances she has to go to her native place. As Covid struck she git stuck in her native place and couldn't come back. And when everything became normal i insisted her to come but her mom was not allowing. After a lot of struggle her mom allowed her and she came back. In this course of time both families was aware about our relationship. My mom was against her because of 2 reasons, 1) Intercaste 2) She was from very poor and low caste background. Them too i continued the relationship and i convinced to my sister and she convinced to mom. And when she was in native place, she said once that her voice has gone has gone she need 50k for operation. I trying madly to arrange funds and one of my friend told me that she is playing with you be careful but as i was blind in love i necer listened him. When she came to Mumbai i arranged a pg accommodation for her for some time and i use to take her out for dinner as there use to be regular fights with owner. Somehow i convinced my mom and shifted her to my place. There use to be fights but we use to care for each other also at the same time. She started to do events and slowly and steadily started to work in media. She was well aware that i dont like girls working media then too i have her permission to work in media temporary. I went against everyone, my family and friend and after 7yrs of relationship we decided to get marry and it was working fine. After marriage fight increased and she used to taunt though i did so much for her. Once she was not well and as she used to taunt me i never took care of her. One day my dear friend told me to check her phone, she might be seeing someone. And when i checked she was having an affair with Assistant director, i saw msgs photos. And when i confronted she said "He is just a friend and we talk normally" I saw they both on one bed and when i forward their pics to her mom she said "There might be some problem in you only." And when i asked to my ex wife about all this she said "A person goes where he or she gets love and care" All this happened within 6-8 months of our marriage. When i came to know about all this i tod her to leave my house and she was asking for divorce because of my mon's behavior also. I think i should have not tell her to leave as when she left i don't know but i love her very much. I even told her to give me one chance as i gave her but she didn't stopped talking with her bf. And she didn't gave me a chance and went away. We have been legally divorced but still i love her and ready to accept her. But she doesn't want to come back. I am trying to forget her but couldn't. Luckily we don't have kids. Sometimes my heart says let her go she cheated you. Sometimes it says i love now also. I am struggling to forgot her as i am in contact now also. Please suggest. Thank you
Ans: it's important to acknowledge and honor the love you felt and still feel. Love doesn’t simply disappear overnight, and it’s natural to have lingering emotions, especially when you’ve shared so much history and effort to keep the relationship going. However, it’s also crucial to recognize the harm and hurt caused by her actions and the unresolved issues that led to the breakdown of your marriage.

The fact that she chose not to return and continues to maintain contact with the person she was involved with suggests that she has moved on emotionally, even if you haven’t. Holding onto hope for reconciliation can keep you trapped in a cycle of pain and longing, which makes it harder to heal and move forward.

Your heart and mind are sending you mixed signals because you’re torn between the love you still feel and the reality of the betrayal. This is a common struggle after a significant loss, but it’s important to focus on what’s best for your emotional well-being. Continuing to be in contact with her may be preventing you from healing fully. It might be beneficial to create some distance, at least temporarily, to allow yourself the space to process your feelings and begin the healing process.

Focusing on yourself and your own growth is essential. Consider engaging in activities that bring you joy, spending time with supportive friends and family, and possibly seeking professional counseling to help you work through your emotions and develop strategies to move forward.

Letting go is difficult, especially when you still have love for someone, but it’s a crucial step towards healing. Accepting that the relationship has ended and focusing on your future can help you find peace and eventually open the door to new possibilities for love and happiness.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |492 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 13, 2025Hindi
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My partner and I are from different cultural backgrounds. She has always felt a strong spiritual connection to events like the Kumbh Mela. Earlier this year, while booking the tickets she had asked if I would like to join her as she is travelling solo. While I respect her beliefs, I refused to join because I am not a religious person. Now that she has booked her tickets, I am worried about her safety. Should I tell her to cancel her trip? I don't want her to think that I am disrespecting her choices or religion. Or should I just tag along and make her feel safe? How do I address these concerns and have a healthy conversation?
Ans: Start by having an honest conversation with her. Share your feelings about her safety in a caring and non-confrontational way. Let her know that your concern comes from a place of love and care, not from a lack of respect for her spiritual journey. It’s important to express that you understand her desire to attend the Kumbh Mela and that you support her connection to this event.

If you’re considering joining her, it could be a gesture of solidarity and support, even if you’re not personally invested in the spiritual aspect. However, it’s crucial to approach this as a way to share the experience together and ensure her safety, rather than as an obligation or with reluctance. If you decide to join her, communicate that you’re doing so because you want to be there for her, which could strengthen your relationship.

On the other hand, if you feel strongly about not attending due to personal beliefs, you can suggest other ways to support her. This might include discussing safety plans or staying in close communication while she’s there. This approach shows that you trust her decisions while still being there for her in a supportive way.

Ultimately, the conversation should aim to understand each other’s perspectives and find a solution that makes both of you feel comfortable and respected. Balancing your care for her safety with respect for her independence and beliefs is key to maintaining a healthy, supportive relationship.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |492 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 09, 2025Hindi
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I am 42 Female currently, last marriage didn't go well, afraid of new start, I neither type of person who can go to club etc etc to "find someone" - What's the best way to move forward, Do we have genuine way of finding someone who can become reliable partner too (No tinder etc as again I knw myself now at this age, I can't) - Please guide
Ans: One of the best ways to meet someone compatible is through shared interests and environments where you feel at ease. Consider engaging in activities or communities that resonate with you. This could include joining local interest groups, volunteering, or taking classes in areas you’re passionate about. These settings not only provide opportunities to meet like-minded individuals but also allow connections to develop organically over shared experiences and values.

Another valuable approach is to lean on your existing network. Friends, family, and colleagues often know you well and can introduce you to others who might be a good match. These introductions can be more comfortable and trustworthy since they come from people who understand your personality and values.

It’s also important to give yourself time and space to heal and grow from past experiences. Building a reliable and meaningful relationship starts with being in a place where you feel confident and whole on your own. This self-awareness and emotional readiness will naturally attract the right kind of partner who values and respects you for who you are.

Remember, there’s no rush or specific timeline you need to adhere to. Allow relationships to develop at a pace that feels right for you, and focus on building connections that are based on mutual respect, understanding, and shared values. Trust that the right person will come into your life when the time is right, and until then, prioritize your own happiness and well-being.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |492 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

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My age is 48 years and i have one son aged 17 years and i am single son of my parents ,one and half year back my wife expired and upon insisted by my parents and close relatives i got remarried and she has one girl aged 8 years, after passing of six months she has started showing her true colors and it has become very difficult for me to continue and i want to get rid of this . Please guide me what should i do now.
Ans: Dear Dinesh,
it’s important to reflect on what is making the relationship difficult. Understanding the specific issues—whether they stem from differences in values, communication problems, or other conflicts—can provide clarity on how to move forward.

If you haven't already, consider having an open and honest conversation with your wife about your concerns. Sometimes, addressing issues directly can lead to resolutions or at least a better understanding of each other's perspectives. Counseling, either individually or as a couple, can also be a valuable tool in navigating these challenges and deciding the best course of action.

However, if you’ve already tried addressing these issues and find that the relationship is still untenable, it may be time to consider ending the marriage. It’s important to prioritize your emotional and mental well-being, as well as that of your son and stepdaughter. Divorce is never an easy decision, especially when children are involved, but staying in an unhappy and unhealthy relationship can have long-term negative impacts on everyone.

As you contemplate your next steps, it’s also important to lean on your support system. Friends, family, or a counselor can provide guidance and help you navigate this difficult period. Remember, prioritizing your well-being is not only crucial for you but also for your children, as they look to you for stability and emotional guidance. Making decisions that lead to a healthier and happier environment for everyone involved is ultimately the most important goal.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |492 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 08, 2024
Relationship
Hello mam.I know a girl since college days.She is married to a guy since last 15 years.Since last 3 years we had an affair.I did take her for granted after our 2 nd half 3 years of relationship.Since a year now she has been giving me some or the other reason such as she is not getting feeling for me,husband is taking much care now so cant handle our relationship,then she told she has some health issue and now recently she tells me she has been telling me indirectly since a year to move on as she was in a relationship with some guy whom she got attracted in a mutual connection.But now she has discontinued with him as well. We do chat on message and call sometime but now since a year she herself has stopped calling or messaging.She replies only when i message or call. I want her back in my life and improve my relationship with her.Please guide me to get her back and have a relationship with her as we had till last year.What steps should I take to win her heart back and make her mine?
Ans: The first step is to acknowledge and respect her current feelings and boundaries. It’s clear she’s navigating her own emotional journey and trying to find clarity in her life. Pressuring her or trying to win her back without considering her current stance may push her further away.

Instead, focus on open and honest communication. If you genuinely care for her, it’s important to express your feelings without being demanding. Share how you feel, but also be willing to listen to her perspective fully. Understand that love and relationships are mutual, and both parties need to feel connected and invested.

During this time, it’s also essential to reflect on your own needs and emotional well-being. Ask yourself if this relationship, as it currently stands, is fulfilling and healthy for you. Relationships can be complicated, and sometimes stepping back to allow both people space to understand their feelings can lead to a clearer path forward, whether that’s together or apart.

Ultimately, your focus should be on building healthy, honest connections and prioritizing emotional well-being for both yourself and the people involved. If there’s a possibility of rekindling the relationship, it will come from mutual understanding, respect, and willingness from both sides.

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