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Pooja

Pooja Sathe  | Answer  |Ask -

Answered on Sep 01, 2021

Neetu Question by Neetu on Sep 01, 2021Hindi
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Dear Pooja,
We adopted a 2.5 year old Maltese terrier last year.
He was quite aggressive when we took him in, to the extent my kids had to take tetanus injections due to his bites.
We realised this was because he had separation anxiety as he was in and out of five houses before us.
He has cooled down a lot with time but occasionally he gets aggressive when he approaches people at the door.
He tends to growl and bite and it is when we least expect it as these people are known to him.
Please advise how to train him.
Regards,
Neetu Nelson

Ans:

Hi Neetu.

Thanks for writing to us.

Your pet's issues are serious.

You will need a detailed consultation with a trainer so that you can understand his routine and bite history behaviour.

Advice regarding aggressive behaviour can’t be given online.

DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1497 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 12, 2023

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Hello Anu - we have a 5 year old son and he's getting out of our control these days and we don't know how to handle him. His actions and tantrums are mischievous and hurtful at the same time. Earlier he used to get scared from his mother but she's also losing control over him these days. If we scream or shout, he repeats the same things that kind of irritates us more. If we try to be reasonable with him, it's of no use - he takes us for granted. If we tell him about repercussions on his actions like a timeout or no tv time or no play time, he does not listen and at the end we give him to his crying. He also becomes uncontrollably violent at times - though he thinks it's a game, but in reality his actions literally hurt us. I know partially I am to blame as when he was younger, these violent games looked fun but now that he's older and stronger, they are not fun anymore to me or anyone in our house. I've tried to explain him, but at the end he is just 5 years old! Every morning to night it's a mountaineous challenge for us. My wife and I talk after he sleeps, decide what to do or not do from the next dat but bam! it's just the same routine every single day. Moreover my wife is pregnant with our second child so I fear this might have a bad effect on our 2nd baby as my wife remains stressed out. I know this could be every parent - but then if it happens that often, is there a solution? Can you help us?
Ans: Dear Shubham,
How is it possible for a 5-year old to understand logic when he is throwing an emotional fit (tantrum)?
Like you said it yourself; when it could have been stopped and changed, it wasn't done. He probably felt that it was fine to behave 'violently' (though I don't understand the context in which you use this word).
Now. all of a sudden when you and your wife are trying to stop him, he is pulling away as this behaviour was rewarded earlier. he has your earlier silence as your love and affection for which which he fears will be withdrawn now if he stops his behaviour.
So, logic isn't going to work; it doesn't work with adults, and here the child is merely 5 years.
So undoing what was done is going to take a lot of effort and patience (beyond all the talk that you and yoir wife are doing).
Start by:
- ignoring his tantrums; he will time-out himself in exhaustion
- talking to him at his eye level; get down on your knees, so he doesn't feel intimidated by your height
- hugging him a lot; a caring touch is worth a thousand words
- telling him how excited you both were when he was born; this can ensure that he will be special even after the arrival of the new baby
- distracting him with creative things; story telling and fine motor skill games improve focus and concentration
- cutting down on foods filled with sugar; sugar boost is artificial and can make a child or anyone go a little anxious
- ensuring him that he is loved a lot; saying it aloud while hugging him will soften his behaviour over time

Try these and I hope they work. If not, kindly without delay seek an appointment with a professional who can deal with children at your son's age.

All the best!

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7928 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 11, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 10, 2025Hindi
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Hi, i am 32 year old, Male. I have personal loan of upto 7 lakhs, (2.25L and 4.75L). The 2.25L i have been paying EMI regularly and no issues. The other one of 4.75L the EMI amount is quite big and since I lost my job in September 2024 i am finding it very difficult to pay the EMI for 4.75L loan. I had requested the lender to restructure the loan by reducing the EMI by 50% and extend the tenure or suspend the EMI for 3-6 months till I get a job and after the suspension period take the regular EMI. But both my request was rejected. I also sent a letter through lawyer mentioning the above request but even then that was rejected. I am delaying their EMI payments from last 2-3 months by 5-6 days and they start calling and disturbing the very next day. Please help me with other options that I have to reduce the EMI. Since I had health issues I lost my job in September 2024 and for health reasons i had to borrow money from friends and family. Right now I am doing odd jobs that help me pay the EMI for 2.25L loan and some part of EMI for other loan of 4.75L. please help me the options that I have.
Ans: Your financial situation is challenging but manageable with the right strategy. You need a structured approach to reduce your loan burden while ensuring financial stability. Below is a step-by-step plan to help you manage your EMI payments effectively.

Assess Your Current Financial Situation
You have two personal loans totaling Rs. 7 lakhs.
The Rs. 2.25 lakh loan EMI is being paid on time.
The Rs. 4.75 lakh loan EMI is difficult to pay due to job loss.
Your lender has rejected the restructuring request.
You are doing odd jobs to cover partial EMIs.
You have borrowed money from family and friends for health-related expenses.
Immediate Steps to Reduce EMI Pressure
Prioritise Essential Expenses

Focus on necessities like rent, food, and medical expenses.
Cut down on discretionary spending.
Avoid new loans or credit card debt.
Try Negotiating Again with the Lender

Approach the lender with a new repayment proposal.
Request a lower EMI based on your current earnings.
Highlight job loss and health issues in your request.
If needed, offer partial payments to show commitment.
Seek Financial Assistance from Family or Friends

Consider borrowing a small amount to clear missed EMIs.
Ensure you repay them once you secure a stable job.
Use Savings or Liquid Assets

If you have emergency savings, use them for EMI payments.
Consider selling small assets or non-essential valuables.
Medium-Term Solutions for Loan Management
Debt Consolidation Loan

Apply for a new loan with a lower interest rate.
Use it to pay off the Rs. 4.75 lakh loan.
This can reduce your EMI and extend the tenure.
Compare interest rates before applying.
Balance Transfer to Another Bank

Some banks offer lower interest rates for balance transfers.
Shifting your loan to another bank can reduce EMI pressure.
Check the processing fee before proceeding.
Freelance or Part-Time Work

Explore temporary jobs or online gigs.
Any additional income can help cover EMIs.
Consider skills-based freelancing for better income.
Emergency Loan from Employer or Community Groups

Some organisations offer interest-free loans to employees.
Community groups may provide financial assistance.
Check for government schemes supporting job seekers.
Long-Term Strategies for Financial Stability
Build an Emergency Fund

Once you secure a job, start saving for emergencies.
Keep at least six months' expenses as an emergency fund.
This will prevent future financial stress.
Improve Credit Score

Pay EMIs on time to avoid credit score damage.
Avoid multiple loan applications in a short period.
Good credit history will help in future financial needs.
Plan for Future Expenses

Set financial goals for savings and investments.
Avoid unnecessary borrowing in the future.
Invest in health insurance to cover medical emergencies.
Final Insights
Focus on paying the overdue EMI as soon as possible.
Explore options like debt consolidation or loan balance transfer.
Look for additional income sources to ease financial pressure.
Once stable, build an emergency fund to avoid similar issues.
Stay disciplined with spending and financial planning.
If you need more personalised guidance, feel free to reach out.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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