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55-Year-Old with 5 Years to Retirement: Should I Buy a House or Continue Renting?

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7271 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 16, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Surander Question by Surander on Dec 16, 2024Hindi
Money

Hi Sir, I need your prompt advice as i need to take decision on the same. I am 55 years and have 5-6 Years in retirement. Post retirement have planning and secure. Now coming to the point that i am staying a capital of state where i pay house rent Rs.40000/- PM. My take homme monthly salary is approx 6 Lacs. My organization have policy to pay 50% interest subsidy on interest of Housing loan. I am planning to purchase a flat value 1.25 Cr in which 80 Lacs Banks are ready to give for next 12 Years . monthly EMI will be 85-90 K and out of which approx 28K will be subsidy and 40K my rent and 5K saving of IT in Housing loan interest . Ideally it will cost to me approx. 15-20 K Per month additionally . After retirement i will sell the flat and square off my balance home loan. Please suggest is it worth of taking ....or i should continue to pay House rent and add 20 K liability in Mutual Fund contribution & avoid Interst subsidy !! Urgent reply please

Ans: Key Financial Factors to Consider
Option 1: Buying the Flat
EMI Costs

EMI: Rs. 85,000-90,000 monthly for 12 years.
Net EMI Cost (Post subsidy and tax saving): Rs. 15,000-20,000 per month.
Rental Saving

Buying eliminates rent, saving Rs. 40,000 monthly.
Subsidy Benefit

50% interest subsidy reduces your EMI burden by Rs. 28,000 per month.
Tax Benefits on Home Loan

You save approximately Rs. 5,000 monthly in taxes on interest payments.
Plan to Sell Post-Retirement

Selling the flat in 5-6 years may or may not yield significant appreciation.
Real estate liquidity can be unpredictable.
Option 2: Continuing to Rent
Current Costs

Rent: Rs. 40,000 per month.
No additional EMI burden.
Investment Opportunity

Allocate Rs. 20,000 monthly (saved from net EMI cost) to mutual funds.
This investment grows significantly in 5-6 years.
Flexibility

Renting offers flexibility in case of post-retirement relocation.
Detailed Analysis
Buying the Flat: Pros and Cons
Pros:

Owning a home offers emotional satisfaction.
Subsidy and tax savings reduce EMI burden.
Rent savings (Rs. 40,000) offsets the EMI.
Cons:

Requires additional Rs. 15,000-20,000 monthly for EMIs.
Real estate appreciation is uncertain over 5-6 years.
Selling post-retirement involves transaction costs and market risks.
Renting and Investing: Pros and Cons
Pros:

Avoids the hassle of a large loan and associated liabilities.
Rs. 20,000 invested in equity mutual funds can grow significantly.
More flexibility to relocate post-retirement.
Cons:

Rent payments continue with no ownership asset.
Miss out on interest subsidy and home loan tax benefits.
Scenario Comparison
Option 1: Buying the Flat
Total Outflow: Rs. 15,000-20,000 monthly (EMI after adjustments).
Asset Created: A flat worth Rs. 1.25 crore, potentially appreciating in value.
Risk: Real estate value may stagnate or decline in the short term.
Option 2: Renting and Investing
Total Outflow: Rs. 40,000 monthly in rent, plus Rs. 20,000 invested in mutual funds.
Investment Growth: Assuming 10% CAGR, Rs. 20,000 per month grows to Rs. 16 lakh in 5 years.
Risk: Market volatility may impact mutual fund returns.
Certified Financial Planner’s Suggestion
Based on your financial profile and goals, here is a balanced recommendation:

Leaning Towards Renting and Investing

Renting gives flexibility and avoids real estate risks.
Invest the additional Rs. 20,000 in equity mutual funds for better returns.
A diversified portfolio may provide more liquidity and growth by retirement.
If Emotional Value of Ownership Matters

Buy the flat only if you are confident about the real estate market in your city.
Ensure the flat is easily sellable in 5-6 years.
Carefully assess the costs and expected returns before committing.
Final Insights
Buying a flat works best if real estate appreciation outpaces mutual fund growth. However, this is uncertain in a short horizon. Renting and investing in mutual funds is a more flexible and potentially rewarding option for retirement planning.

Take a prudent decision considering your priorities and risk tolerance.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 18, 2024Hindi
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Hi , I am 44 yrs old and having working wife and two son of 17 yrs & 5 yrs... elder son is down syndrom.. joint monthly take home is 2 lacs.. having 85 lacs of mutual fund.. 18 lacs in PPF, 32 lacs in EPF, & around 25 lacs in others like FD, saving, shares etc.. monthly saving around 1.2 lacs including 75K SIP, 18K PPF, 25K EPF etc... Having Own home at my native place.... Want to know that should I go for new Flat purchase at location where I am residing in rented house of monthly 14K excluding electricity or continue my investment in place of Home loan... I hv opted new tax slab and my wife is in old tax... my target to have 15 CR at the age of 60
Ans: Assessing Your Current Financial Situation
Income and Savings
Your combined monthly take-home income is Rs. 2 lakhs. Your current savings include:

Mutual Funds: Rs. 85 lakhs
Public Provident Fund (PPF): Rs. 18 lakhs
Employees’ Provident Fund (EPF): Rs. 32 lakhs
Other Investments (FD, Savings, Shares): Rs. 25 lakhs
Your monthly savings distribution is as follows:

SIP in Mutual Funds: Rs. 75,000
PPF: Rs. 18,000
EPF: Rs. 25,000
You live in a rented house with a rent of Rs. 14,000 per month.

Evaluating the Decision to Buy a New Flat
Current Housing Situation
Living in a rented house at Rs. 14,000 per month is relatively affordable, especially given your high monthly income. Renting provides flexibility and lower maintenance costs compared to owning.

Financial Impact of Buying a New Flat
Purchasing a new flat would involve a significant financial commitment, including a home loan, maintenance costs, property taxes, and other associated expenses. This would reduce your investable surplus and potentially impact your ability to meet your financial goals.

Comparative Analysis: Rent vs. Buy
Renting: Offers flexibility, lower upfront costs, and avoids long-term debt.
Buying: Provides stability and potential appreciation in property value but requires a large financial commitment and ongoing expenses.
Long-term Financial Goals
Target: Rs. 15 Crores by Age 60
To achieve your target of Rs. 15 crores by age 60, you need to focus on maximizing your investments' growth while maintaining a balanced risk profile.

Current Investments and Growth Potential
Mutual Funds: Your Rs. 85 lakhs in mutual funds can grow substantially with continued SIPs and market performance.
PPF and EPF: These provide stable, long-term growth with tax benefits, contributing to your retirement corpus.
Other Investments: FDs, savings, and shares add diversification but should be reviewed for optimal growth potential.
Investment Strategy
Enhancing SIP Contributions
Continuing and potentially increasing your SIP contributions will leverage the power of compounding. Focus on a mix of equity and debt funds to balance growth and risk.

Recommendation: Consider increasing your SIP by a percentage each year to keep pace with inflation and maximize returns.
Diversification and Rebalancing
Ensure your portfolio is diversified across various asset classes to minimize risk and optimize returns. Periodically review and rebalance your portfolio to stay aligned with your financial goals.

Recommendation: Include large-cap, mid-cap, and multi-cap funds for equity exposure. Balance with debt funds for stability.
Utilising Tax-efficient Investments
Maximize your contributions to tax-efficient instruments like PPF and EPF. These not only provide stable returns but also offer significant tax benefits.

Recommendation: Continue maximizing your PPF contributions and ensure your EPF contributions are optimized.
Emergency Fund Management
Maintaining a robust emergency fund is crucial. Your current Rs. 25 lakhs in FD and savings can be used to cover unexpected expenses.

Recommendation: Keep at least 6-12 months of living expenses in easily accessible liquid assets.
Estate Planning and Insurance
Life and Health Insurance
Ensure adequate life and health insurance coverage for your family, especially considering your elder son's needs. This will protect your family's financial stability in case of unforeseen events.

Recommendation: Opt for a comprehensive health insurance plan and term insurance for sufficient coverage.
Estate Planning
Create a comprehensive estate plan, including a will, to ensure your assets are distributed according to your wishes and your family is taken care of.

Recommendation: Consult a legal expert to draft a will and set up any necessary trusts.
Education and Future Planning for Children
Special Needs Planning
Given your elder son's Down syndrome, consider creating a financial plan that ensures his long-term care and support.

Recommendation: Look into setting up a special needs trust and explore government schemes and benefits available for children with disabilities.
Education Fund for Younger Son
Start a dedicated investment plan for your younger son's education. This can include child-specific mutual funds or education-focused investment plans.

Recommendation: Allocate a portion of your monthly savings towards an education fund.
Final Insights
Given your strong financial position and disciplined saving habits, you are well on your way to achieving your long-term goals. However, buying a new flat at this stage might not be the best financial decision if it significantly impacts your investment capacity.

Focusing on growing your investment portfolio and maintaining a balanced, diversified approach will help you accumulate the desired Rs. 15 crores by age 60. Ensuring adequate insurance coverage and planning for your elder son's special needs will further secure your family's future.

Stay disciplined with your investments, periodically review your portfolio, and make adjustments as needed to stay on track. Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized advice and help optimize your financial strategy.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7271 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 07, 2024Hindi
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Money
I am living on rent, and now I have searched and seen a residential property that is flat(constructed in 2007) at ground floor in a society, which is for sale and may be cost up from 18 L to 22 L final talk not done, within two months my matured savings would be 11 lakh also having a pf balance of 1.5 to 2 lakh and ornaments of about 10 Lakh I have two daughters age19 years and 14 years If I do not disturb the gold and pf balance I would be in need of home loan of about 10-12 lakh So, is it wise to take home loan Alongwith SIP of amounting 10 percent of emi only Or if I finish all the savings and asset I would required no loan and will opt to purchase a gold of 15000 every month My take home salary is 39500 Please suggest which one of both is better Or if you have any other suggestion please guide
Ans: Buying the Property: Assessing Your Options
You are considering purchasing a flat priced between Rs 18-22 lakh. You have Rs 11 lakh maturing soon and Rs 1.5-2 lakh in PF balance. You also have gold worth Rs 10 lakh. You are contemplating whether to take a home loan of Rs 10-12 lakh or use your savings and assets.

Evaluating the Home Loan Option
Pros of Taking a Home Loan:

Liquidity: You maintain liquidity by not using all your savings.
Tax Benefits: Home loans offer tax benefits under Sections 80C and 24(b).
SIP Continuation: You can continue your SIPs, growing your investments over time.
Cons of Taking a Home Loan:

EMI Burden: Monthly EMIs can strain your take-home salary of Rs 39,500.
Interest Cost: You pay interest on the loan, increasing the total cost of the property.
Financial Stress: Managing EMIs and other expenses might be challenging.
Evaluating Using Savings and Assets
Pros of Using Savings and Assets:

Debt-Free: No loan means no EMI burden.
Interest Savings: You save on interest costs.
Financial Freedom: No monthly EMI, allowing better cash flow management.
Cons of Using Savings and Assets:

Reduced Liquidity: Using all savings and assets reduces your emergency fund.
No SIPs: Stopping SIPs might impact long-term wealth creation.
No Tax Benefits: You miss out on home loan tax benefits.
Analyzing Monthly Cash Flow
Your take-home salary is Rs 39,500. Let's analyze the cash flow for both options:

With Home Loan:

EMI (Assumed): Rs 10,000 (approx)
SIP (10% of EMI): Rs 1,000
Total Outflow: Rs 11,000
Remaining cash for expenses and savings: Rs 28,500

Without Home Loan:

Gold Purchase: Rs 15,000 per month
No EMI: Rs 0
SIP Continuation: Assuming Rs 1,000 (for continuity)
Remaining cash for expenses and savings: Rs 23,500

Considering the Future
Children's Education: Your daughters are 19 and 14. Higher education costs might rise soon. Ensure you have funds for their education.
Emergency Fund: Maintain an emergency fund for unforeseen expenses.
Retirement Planning: Continue to invest for your retirement.
Professional Insights and Recommendations
Balanced Approach: Consider a mix of both options. Use part of your savings and take a smaller home loan. This keeps some liquidity while reducing loan burden.
Prioritize SIPs: Ensure you continue your SIPs. SIPs are crucial for long-term wealth creation.
Gold Investment: Buying gold every month can diversify your portfolio. However, consider market fluctuations.
Emergency Fund: Always maintain an emergency fund. Avoid exhausting all savings on the property.
Tax Benefits: Utilize home loan tax benefits if you opt for a loan. It can reduce your taxable income.
Final Insights
Buying a property is a significant decision. Evaluate all aspects before proceeding. Consider both immediate and future financial needs. Balancing liquidity, tax benefits, and long-term investments is key. Make a decision that aligns with your financial goals and stability.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7271 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 30, 2024

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Hello Sir,I am 38 yrs now & wife 34. We are having a 9 years old daughter. My salary is 80K & wife's salary is 85K.My SIP is 19,000 (10 years) per month & wife 35,000 for (20 years) .NPS-50K PA. LIC-1.5L PA,Shares 6L,Gold-7L We are having a home loan of 55L for 15 years where our target is to close it by 2033.(EMI-55K). This flat we have given it on rent (16,000) rent. My target is to get retire by 50 with a corpus of 3Cr.
Ans: Current Financial Situation
Monthly Income and Expenses
Your salary: Rs. 80,000 per month.
Wife's salary: Rs. 85,000 per month.
Total monthly income: Rs. 1,65,000.
EMI on home loan: Rs. 55,000.
Rent received from flat: Rs. 16,000.
Investments
SIPs: Rs. 19,000 per month (10 years) and Rs. 35,000 per month (20 years).
NPS: Rs. 50,000 per annum.
LIC: Rs. 1.5 lakhs per annum.
Shares: Rs. 6 lakhs.
Gold: Rs. 7 lakhs.
Goals
Retire at age 50 with a corpus of Rs. 3 crores.
Close home loan by 2033.
Retirement Planning
SIP Contributions
Continue your SIPs diligently.
Your 10-year SIP and wife's 20-year SIP are crucial.
Consider increasing SIP amount with salary hikes.
National Pension System (NPS)
NPS is a good retirement tool.
Rs. 50,000 per annum contribution helps with tax savings and retirement corpus.
Consider increasing NPS contributions over time.
Life Insurance
LIC premiums of Rs. 1.5 lakhs per annum.
Ensure that you have adequate term insurance coverage.
If LIC policies are not term plans, evaluate their returns and consider switching to mutual funds.
Direct Equity Investments
Current investment in shares: Rs. 6 lakhs.
Review the performance of your stock portfolio.
Diversify to reduce risk.
Gold Investments
Current gold investments: Rs. 7 lakhs.
Gold is a good hedge against inflation.
Do not allocate more than 10% of your portfolio to gold.
Home Loan Strategy
Early Loan Repayment
Aim to close the loan by 2033 as planned.
Use rental income and any surplus funds to prepay the loan.
Prepayment reduces interest burden and loan tenure.
Rental Income Utilization
Use Rs. 16,000 rent received to support EMI payments.
This helps in managing cash flow.
Education Planning for Your Daughter
Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
Start a dedicated SIP for your daughter's higher education.
Estimate future education costs and invest accordingly.
Equity mutual funds are suitable for long-term education goals.
Review and Adjust
Review your investment strategy annually.
Adjust SIP amounts based on market performance and financial goals.
Building Retirement Corpus
Diversified Mutual Funds
Focus on diversified mutual funds for better risk management.
Actively managed funds can offer better returns than index funds.
Avoid index funds due to their passive nature and lack of active management.
Regular Review
Regularly review your mutual fund portfolio.
Consult with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) for adjustments.
Alternative Investments
Consider debt mutual funds for stability.
These funds offer safer returns and help balance your portfolio.
Tax Planning
Utilise Tax Benefits
Maximise Section 80C deductions with investments in ELSS funds.
Continue NPS contributions for additional tax benefits under Section 80CCD(1B).
Final Insights
SIPs: Continue and increase SIP contributions over time.

NPS: Maintain and enhance contributions for retirement savings.

Insurance: Ensure adequate term insurance; review LIC policies.

Equity and Gold: Maintain diversified investments; review regularly.

Home Loan: Aim for early repayment using surplus funds and rental income.

Education Planning: Start SIPs for your daughter's education.

Tax Planning: Maximize tax-saving investments.

Regular Review: Consult with a CFP for portfolio adjustments and goal tracking.

By following this comprehensive strategy, you can achieve your retirement and financial goals, ensuring a secure future for your family.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Asked by Anonymous - Dec 08, 2024Hindi
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I have a friend for over 9 years. She is 38, married with a 13 yr old boy and I am single and 32. Ever since we have known each other we have been friends. I never had romantic feelings or intimate thoughts about her(I guess I am not that much into married women). Over the course of years since 2015, we have had a very close friendship and at a professional capacity I am tutor to her child.(The child has been hanging out with me since he was 4). Me and the lady went for vacations and have spent countless nights on the balcony with a drink and lots to talk about our lives. I am thoroughly aware of her troubled marriage including instances of DV and her complicated upper middle class family dynamics. She knows my childhood, how I lost my parents and has been close watcher of how I have transformed over the years. In 2020 in a moment of my weakness, loneliness, desperation I spoke to her extensively even breaking down and she somehow made the call the treatment me like a son and I have ever since addressed her as 'Maate'. (My mother passed away in childbirth so my knowledge of a mother's presence is next to 0) During the pandemic where we could barely meet during to distance and lockdown. Her husband also moved to UK for work. A new "friend" comes to the picture. I did not meet him at the beginning but after a few months, I notice my friend taking care of the finances, lifestyle choices of the"friend". He enjoys the involvement citing how difficult his life was where his parents could not provide such interactions when he was a kid. (The "friend" is 28 years old). The "friend" also a leukaemia survivor indulges in alcohol with us, tries other substances in her company and one night confesses his feelings to Maate. Maate tells him that she has a kid, a husband and a boyfriend so those spectrums there is no space for the "friend". So the "friend" officially friendzones himself but over the times has arranged him to stay in her place, sleep in her bed, cuddle with her everynight(can't sleep otherwise) has access to her emails, photos, phone password, and subtly starts taking control over her house to get things done his way. He even does not allow the 13 yr old child sleep with his mom because the child gets a pole in his sleep(like of teens and men) it creeps the "friend" out. Finally after a night of drinking I suddenly woke up to sounds of moaning early in the morning from her bathroom. So the "friend" finally had his long overdue sex at 6 am in the morning in her bathroom. I wake to listen to Maate moaning buty paranoia kicks in when I see her kid waking up and standing behind me and asking 'where is Mamma'. I have no words, I have no idea what to do. I take him away on the pretext of making some yummy breakfast. Now the problem for me is: 1. I have lived by a few codes and one of them is not to cross boundaries with female friends. I have stayed friends with them for over 2 decades. So someone doing it infront of me and calling it friendship and apologizing with the words 'heat of the moment','honest mistake', 'drunken daze', etc just makes me call it bullshit. The "friend" wanted it and took the first shot he got. 2. My Maate asking me to let it go, forgive and treat the "friend" like a younger brother. I have tried it a lot over the last year and I sincerely can't(because of reasons mentioned in Point 1) 3. Saying it to openly to Maate has starined my equation with her. I just want to stay away from such a "friend" but evidently voicing it out (albeit in a very loud manner) pushed away my closest confidant. The only thing I know is if things get better I can't pull of this pretentious stuff and it will make me burst again. I don't know what to do here.
Ans: You’ve built your life around certain principles—one being the importance of boundaries and respect in friendships. Seeing those boundaries crossed in a way that you perceive as disrespectful to the sanctity of your connection with Maate, as well as her responsibilities as a mother, strikes at the heart of your values. It’s no wonder that you feel uneasy and unable to simply accept her request to forgive and treat the “friend” as a younger brother.

What’s critical here is that your feelings of discomfort are not about being judgmental but about being protective—of your bond with Maate, her child’s well-being, and your own emotional integrity. This situation has left you in a moral and emotional bind. You value the relationship with Maate, but the dynamic involving the “friend” is deeply troubling for you.

To move forward, you need to find a way to honor your values while also preserving your emotional well-being. Open communication is key, but it’s also clear that the way this has been discussed so far has caused strain. You might need to reframe your approach. Instead of focusing on the specifics of what happened or pointing out the flaws in the “friend’s” behavior, you could focus on how the situation has affected you. Express your feelings honestly but gently—share how it has created a sense of distance and how much you miss the closeness and trust you once shared.

At the same time, it’s important to set boundaries for yourself. You don’t have to accept the “friend” into your life if it feels wrong to you. However, you can make it clear to Maate that this boundary is about your own peace of mind and not a judgment of her choices. Acknowledge her autonomy while asserting your need for space from situations that make you uncomfortable.

Ultimately, this might mean accepting that the relationship with Maate will change. Relationships evolve, and sometimes people we care about make choices that we can’t fully align with. It doesn’t mean you have to sever ties, but it does mean redefining the terms of your connection in a way that allows you to stay true to yourself.

Take time to reflect on what you need to feel whole and grounded. This situation has understandably shaken you, but it’s also an opportunity to reaffirm your values and protect your well-being. Seek support from others you trust, and remember that it’s okay to take a step back to process your feelings and recalibrate the relationship on your terms.

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
We met through Arranged Marriage Platform & after a few Months of Courtship, we got Engaged & some Gifts were Exchanged between both Families. His Family never asked for any Dowry at all & my Fiance vehemently refused to accept any Dowry. I liked their Progressive Values. Our Wedding is Scheduled for February 2025. But, since the Tragic Case of Atul Subhash committing Suicide due to False Harassment Case by his Wife, has become a Sensation, my Fiance has been feeling quite Disturbed & Apprehensive. He has proposed that both of us Sign a Pre-Nuptial Agreement, wherein I & my Family Members would give a Written Declaration that there was absolutely No Dowry, Demanded by them or Given by us. And he also wants me to give it in Writing, that, in case, we have to get Divorced, I wouldn't be Demanding any Alimony from him (unless it's for the Maintenance of Children, if any). He has also proposed many other Clauses in the Agreement that describe in detail, how we would be Sharing our Finances, Assets & Liabilities and what would be done about our Joint Assets & Liabilities, in case of Divorce. He wants me to Refuse any Share of his Parental or Ancestral Property as he too wouldn't want any of my Familial Property. I feel that signing an Agreement of Divorce, before getting Married, is Inauspicious for our Marriage & I want our Marriage to begin with the Belief that it would last for a Lifetime, not like this. I have Discussed this with my Family Members & they are strongly advising me against Signing any such Agreement. But he insists that Signing this Pre-Nuptial Agreement is a Must, before we go ahead with the Wedding. He's not Pressurizing me & has allowed me ample Time to Think through it, Discuss & Debate over it with him & Family and also include any more Suggestions from my side, based on the Recommendations of my Family. He has been indirectly hinting that he may not want to go ahead with the Marriage, if I don't Sign the Agreement. Now I am in Dilemma. I Love my Fiance & his Family & I have the Faith that our Married Life would be Fairly Good, if not Wonderful. But I am skeptical about Signing the Agreement, please advise me.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I cannot make the decision for you, but I can tell you that his points are not invalid. They have been decent and what they are asking for is very basic. Please remember that this is just my opinion; you do not have to feel the same way. And there is nothing inauspicious about signing a prenup. Think of it like health insurance- when you get that, do you indirectly wish for health issues? No. It's just a precaution.

While the choice of signing any agreement is yours, he has every right to rethink the relationship in case you refuse to do so. It does not make him a bad person. He is merely looking out for himself and his family. Please take ample time to make a decision; if you are not comfortable with it, or you think signing the contract and going ahead with the wedding might cause friction between you two, please reconsider the relationship. But I want to remind you again, he is not in the wrong for taking precautions. It does not mean he thinks you are in it for the money; it just keeps the money away from the equation.

Hope this helps.

...Read more

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 30, 2024Hindi
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Myself and a guy came to know each other through an online friendly chat app.It's been 7 months we are talking on calls and video calls.From the beginning he was interested to marry me n i saw him as a good friend.Later my feelings turned into love towards him.But,he has a past which he told me in the beginning and said that his ex girlfriend of 1 year whom he know through online has married another guy n left him.I thought he has no feelings towards his ex gf.But,after i developed feelings for him n having clearly told that i love him..he gets his ex gf topic saying they used to talk hours n hours n now he is not able to be with me the same way.He even says she loved him a lot n is unable to forget her love.He says she used to call him always n talk and i am talking only when he calls..he is comparing my love with her.I feeling bad..When i asked before he told he has no feelings on his ex gf but now seems different.He even told me that she is trying to get divorced from her husband n has called him once too.I told about my love to my parents too n they agreed for our marriage.Now i am feeling bad..what should i do?..cut off all ties with him or go a head.Please suggest.I am 24 and he is 25 yrs old
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First of all, have you met this person in real life? A lot of true love stories start online, but it is very important to meet face-to-face before making any commitments. Secondly, not being able to forget his ex can either be the truth or a ploy to end this relationship with you. Either way, it seems like a zone of conflict and I would like to remind you that you deserve better. I know you love him but don't you think you deserve someone who loves you and only you? Would you really like to be with someone who treats you like an option and draws comparisons with the ex? I suggest you rethink the relationship.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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