Home > Money > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Ulhas

Ulhas Joshi  | Answer  |Ask -

Mutual Fund Expert - Answered on Jan 17, 2024

With over 16 years of experience in the mutual fund industry, Ulhas Joshi has helped numerous clients choose the right funds and create wealth.
Prior to joining RankMF as CEO, he was vice president (sales) at IDBI Asset Management Ltd.
Joshi holds an MBA in marketing from Barkatullah University, Bhopal.... more
Sumit Question by Sumit on Jan 17, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money

At present which mutual fund is best for Lumpsum for next 10 yrs? Also suggest for best ELSS fund for next 5-10 yrs?

Ans: Hello Sumit & thanks for writing to me. It is difficult to predict the best mutual fund but as your horizon is long, I would recommend you look at pure equity funds.

Similarly, it is difficult to predict the best ELSS fund. As you wish to invest in ELSS funds, you can consider investing equally in a basket of ELSS funds like the Parag Parikh ELSS Tax Saver Fund, Franklin India ELSS Tax Saver Fund & ICICI Prudential Tax Saver Fund.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
Money

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8164 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 08, 2024

Listen
Money
What are the long term Mutual funds for 10 -12 years plan,where i have to invest 6Lack lumpsum ,please advise.
Ans: When considering long-term investments like a 10-12 year plan with a lump sum of 6 lakhs, it's essential to focus on mutual funds that have a track record of consistent performance and align with your risk tolerance and financial goals. Here are some key points to consider:

Equity Mutual Funds:

For a long-term investment horizon of 10-12 years, equity mutual funds can be an excellent option as they have the potential to deliver higher returns compared to other asset classes. Consider diversified equity funds that invest across large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap stocks to spread risk effectively.

Balanced Funds:

Balanced funds, also known as hybrid funds, invest in a mix of equity and debt instruments. They offer a balance between growth potential and capital preservation, making them suitable for investors with moderate risk tolerance. Look for funds with a proven track record of delivering steady returns over the long term.

Large Cap Funds:

Large-cap funds invest in well-established companies with a track record of stable performance. They tend to be less volatile compared to mid-cap and small-cap funds, making them suitable for conservative investors or those looking for stability in their portfolio. Choose funds with a focus on quality stocks and consistent long-term returns.

Mid and Small Cap Funds:

Mid-cap and small-cap funds invest in companies with smaller market capitalizations, offering the potential for higher growth but also higher volatility. These funds are suitable for investors with a higher risk tolerance and a long-term investment horizon. Look for funds managed by experienced fund managers with a proven track record of navigating market cycles.

Sectoral Funds:

Sectoral funds invest in specific sectors or industries such as banking, IT, healthcare, etc. While they offer the potential for higher returns during sectoral bull runs, they also carry higher risk due to their concentrated exposure. Consider allocating a small portion of your portfolio to sectoral funds for diversification, but avoid overexposure to any single sector.

Consult with a Certified Financial Planner:

As a Certified Financial Planner, I highly recommend consulting with a professional to assess your individual financial situation and investment objectives. They can provide personalized advice and help you select mutual funds that align with your goals, risk tolerance, and investment horizon.

By carefully selecting mutual funds that suit your investment objectives and staying disciplined with your investment strategy, you can work towards achieving your long-term financial goals. Remember to review your portfolio periodically and make adjustments as needed to ensure it remains aligned with your objectives.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8164 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 31, 2024Hindi
Money
I have 2 lakh and wanted to invest in lumpsum mutual fund for 10+ years. I am ready to take 100% risk. Please suggest me some funds
Ans: Long-Term Investment Strategies for High-Risk Appetite
Congratulations on your decision to invest Rs 2 lakh in mutual funds for the long term! Your readiness to take 100% risk suggests you are looking for high-growth opportunities. Let's explore various mutual fund options that align with your risk appetite and investment horizon.

Understanding High-Risk Investments
High-risk investments are typically equity-based. They offer the potential for high returns but come with significant volatility. For a 10+ year horizon, equity mutual funds are ideal. Let's dive into different types of equity funds that can suit your profile.

Equity Mutual Funds
Equity mutual funds invest primarily in stocks. They are categorized based on the market capitalization of the companies they invest in, the sectors they focus on, and their investment strategies.

Large-Cap Funds
Large-cap funds invest in well-established companies with large market capitalizations. These companies have a track record of stability and consistent growth.

Benefits:

Stability: Less volatile compared to mid-cap and small-cap funds.

Reliable Growth: Offer steady returns over the long term.

Assessment:

Large-cap funds are suitable for investors seeking moderate risk with reliable growth. They are less risky than mid-cap and small-cap funds but offer lower potential returns.

Mid-Cap Funds
Mid-cap funds invest in medium-sized companies. These companies have the potential for higher growth compared to large-cap companies but are also more volatile.

Benefits:

Growth Potential: Higher potential for capital appreciation than large-cap funds.

Balanced Risk: Moderate risk, balancing stability and growth.

Assessment:

Mid-cap funds are ideal for investors willing to take on moderate risk for higher returns. They offer a good balance between stability and growth potential.

Small-Cap Funds
Small-cap funds invest in smaller companies with high growth potential. These funds are the most volatile but can offer the highest returns over the long term.

Benefits:

High Returns: Potential for significant capital appreciation.

Growth Opportunities: Invest in emerging companies with high growth prospects.

Assessment:

Small-cap funds are best suited for aggressive investors ready to embrace high volatility for substantial returns. They require patience and a long-term outlook.

Multi-Cap Funds
Multi-cap funds invest in companies across various market capitalizations. They provide diversification by investing in large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap companies.

Benefits:

Diversification: Spread risk across different market capitalizations.

Flexibility: Fund managers can shift investments based on market conditions.

Assessment:

Multi-cap funds are ideal for investors seeking diversification and flexibility. They balance risk and reward by investing across the market spectrum.

Sectoral/Thematic Funds
Sectoral and thematic funds focus on specific sectors or investment themes. These funds can offer high returns if the chosen sector or theme performs well.

Benefits:

Focused Investment: Target high-growth sectors or themes.

High Returns: Potential for significant returns if the sector/theme performs well.

Assessment:

Sectoral/thematic funds are suitable for investors with strong convictions about specific sectors or themes. They carry higher risk due to concentrated exposure.

Active vs. Passive Funds
Active Funds:

Managed by Experts: Fund managers actively select stocks to outperform the market.

Higher Fees: Management fees are higher due to active management.

Passive Funds:

Track Index: Mimic the performance of a market index.

Lower Fees: Management fees are lower due to passive management.

Disadvantages of Index Funds:

Limited Growth: Passive funds can’t outperform the market.

Missed Opportunities: May miss out on high-growth stocks not in the index.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Higher Effort Required:

Self-Management: Investors need to manage and monitor investments themselves.
Less Guidance:

No Professional Advice: Lack of professional advice can lead to poor investment choices.
Benefits of Regular Funds:

Expert Management: Professional fund managers make informed decisions.

Convenience: Easier to manage with guidance from a certified financial planner (CFP).

Recommended Investment Approach
Given your high-risk appetite and long-term horizon, an aggressive investment approach is suitable. Here's a detailed plan:

Step 1: Allocate Funds Across Different Categories
Diversification: Spread your investment across different types of equity funds to balance risk and return.

Example Allocation:

Large-Cap Funds: 30% for stability and reliable growth.

Mid-Cap Funds: 30% for balanced risk and higher returns.

Small-Cap Funds: 20% for high growth potential.

Multi-Cap Funds: 20% for diversification and flexibility.

Step 2: Research and Select Funds
Performance Analysis: Choose funds with a strong track record of performance over at least five years.

Consistency: Look for consistency in returns and management expertise.

Fund Manager: Evaluate the experience and strategy of the fund manager.

Step 3: Monitor and Review Regularly
Regular Monitoring: Track the performance of your investments periodically.

Rebalance Portfolio: Adjust your portfolio based on performance and changing market conditions.

Stay Informed: Keep abreast of market trends and economic changes.

The Importance of Long-Term Investment
Compounding Returns: Long-term investments benefit from compounding, leading to significant growth.

Market Cycles: Staying invested through market cycles helps in averaging returns.

Patience Pays: Long-term investments mitigate short-term volatility and provide higher returns.

Tax Implications
Equity Funds: Long-term capital gains (LTCG) on equity funds are taxed at 10% if gains exceed Rs 1 lakh in a financial year.

Tax Planning: Consider tax-saving mutual funds (ELSS) for additional benefits.

Conclusion
Investing Rs 2 lakh in lumpsum mutual funds for a 10+ year horizon with a high-risk appetite is a prudent decision. Diversify across large-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, and multi-cap funds to balance risk and maximize returns. Regularly monitor your portfolio and stay informed about market trends.

Consulting a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can provide personalized guidance and ensure your investments align with your financial goals. With patience and disciplined investing, you can achieve significant growth over the long term.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8164 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 15, 2024

Money
Sir, which are the best mutual fund to invest now in lumpsum for 2 years?
Ans: Investing in mutual funds for a short-term period of 2 years requires a careful approach. While mutual funds can offer good returns, the short-term horizon calls for a more conservative strategy. Here’s a breakdown of the best types of funds to consider for a 2-year lumpsum investment:

Consider Low-Risk Options
For a 2-year period, capital preservation is key. Opt for debt-oriented funds or hybrid funds. Equity exposure is risky due to potential market volatility.

Debt funds are relatively safer for such a short horizon. These include ultra-short duration funds, short-term debt funds, or banking and PSU funds. These funds invest in government securities, corporate bonds, and other fixed-income instruments that have low credit risk and provide stable returns.

Hybrid funds are another good option if you’re willing to take a little more risk. These funds invest in a mix of equity and debt, providing some equity exposure for higher returns while keeping risk in check with debt instruments.

Keep in mind that equity-based funds should be avoided for such short-term goals as they tend to have higher volatility. The risk of losing capital in a two-year period is significant, and market corrections can adversely affect your investment.

Be Mindful of Liquidity
Liquidity is important in short-term investments. Choose funds that offer quick redemption without high exit loads. Debt funds generally have better liquidity than long-term equity funds.

If you’re sure that you won’t need the funds for two years, consider ultra-short duration funds or short-term bond funds with high liquidity and minimal lock-in periods.

Analyse Tax Efficiency
Mutual fund investments are taxed based on the type of fund and the holding period. For a two-year investment horizon, taxation can have a considerable impact on your overall returns.

Equity mutual funds: For a holding period of less than one year, short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%. If held for over one year but under two years, long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.

Debt mutual funds: For holding periods less than three years, short-term capital gains are taxed as per your income tax slab. Therefore, for debt funds, your gains will be added to your taxable income and taxed accordingly.

Invest in tax-efficient instruments like debt funds for lower tax impact over this period.

Regular Funds vs. Direct Funds
When investing through a mutual fund distributor (MFD) with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) credential, you get professional advice that helps you choose the right funds. This guidance can ensure better fund selection, suited to your goals.

Direct funds may have lower expense ratios but require a deep understanding of market dynamics and fund performance. Without proper guidance, the risks associated with direct fund investments could outweigh the potential cost savings.

For long-term success, it’s better to invest in regular funds through a trusted MFD.

Market Conditions and Flexibility
The current market conditions should also guide your decision. Since the market can fluctuate, opting for conservative funds helps shield your capital from sudden downturns. However, if you’re willing to take on slightly more risk, hybrid funds could offer better returns without overexposing your investment to the market's volatility.

Keep Your Financial Goals in Mind
It’s important to assess your financial goals before making any lumpsum investment. Since your investment horizon is only 2 years, the primary focus should be on protecting your capital and earning modest returns.

Avoid Index Funds
Index funds track a specific index and do not actively manage the investment to mitigate risks or adjust to market conditions. This means that they may not be the best choice for a short-term investment of 2 years. Actively managed funds, such as debt and hybrid funds, offer better control over risks and can provide more stable returns within this time frame.

Risk Assessment
Debt funds and hybrid funds come with relatively low risks compared to equity funds. However, it’s important to note that even these carry some level of interest rate risk and credit risk. Choosing funds with high-quality bonds and low credit risk is crucial for safeguarding your investment over two years.

If you have a low-risk appetite, sticking to ultra-short duration or short-term debt funds is advisable. These funds typically invest in securities with shorter maturity periods, making them less sensitive to interest rate fluctuations and providing better capital protection.

For those with moderate risk tolerance, hybrid funds can provide slightly higher returns while still keeping your capital relatively safe. These funds balance equity and debt exposure, allowing for some capital appreciation while limiting volatility.

Final Insights
For your 2-year investment horizon, opt for debt or hybrid funds. These funds focus on capital preservation and provide reasonable returns with lower risk compared to equity-focused funds.

Short-term investments require a cautious approach, and selecting funds with high liquidity and low risk will help you achieve your financial goals within this timeframe. Be mindful of taxation on mutual fund gains and always seek guidance from a Certified Financial Planner to make informed decisions.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Nidhi

Nidhi Gupta  |200 Answers  |Ask -

Physiotherapist - Answered on Mar 29, 2025

Listen
Health
Hello, Myself Apurba ,43 Y male. Have no disease, weight 68 Kg, height 5.5". I have always been associated with sports. Recently I am preparing for 21 KM marathon. I run 35 KM in field in 07 days with 02 days off (5 days * 07 km average) . I have successfully completed 10 KM marathon recently. Many are objecting me to run these much to protect my knee joint, cartilage etc. But I don't feel any issue , rather I feel so energised although the day. Please let me know if I am harming my knee unknowingly. Please suggest any precautions to be followed so that I can take care of my joints and keep continuing my running. I also do light strength training in parallel with running.
Ans: Hello Rajib,
It is good to know that you are so fit overall.
At times yes excessive running can harm the soft tissues of the knees.
These are the precautions you may take:
1) Please ensure you are taking your Vit D3, Calcium and multivitamin supplements as prescribed
2) A good 10 minutes warm up before running and 10 minutes of cool down via stretches is a must
3) A gentle sesame oil massage around the knee and muscles connected to it is good to do once a week
4) Please ensure you do some form of core exercises. You may learn these from a trainer or physiotherapist. As when core is strong the impact on the knees is lesser.
5) Please keep yourself well hydrated especially during runs
If even the slightest pain comes up take adequate rest!
All the best to become fitter than ever before.
Warm regards,
Dr Nidhi Bajaj Gupta
www.merahkiwellness.com
Insta: merahki_holisticwellness

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8164 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 29, 2025

Listen
Money
Sir, My name is Ankit and i am 32 year old. Sir i invest 3000rupees per month for next 5 year in Axis max Nifty 500momentum 50 fund. Is it right to invest in this fund for a long time?
Ans: Your investment of Rs. 3,000 per month in Axis Nifty 500 Momentum 50 Fund for the next 5 years needs careful evaluation. Since you are 32 years old, your investment horizon can be long-term.

Let’s assess whether this fund is the right choice.

Understanding Your Investment
Fund Type: Index-based momentum fund

Investment Style: Follows momentum strategy within Nifty 500

Your SIP Amount: Rs. 3,000 per month

Investment Tenure: 5 years (as per your plan)

Your Age: 32 (long-term horizon possible)

Momentum funds invest in stocks that have recently shown strong performance. These funds can outperform in bullish phases but may underperform in volatile or bearish markets.

Is This Fund Suitable for Long-Term Investment?
1. Momentum Strategy is Cyclical
This fund invests in stocks that have performed well recently.

If market trends change, it may struggle to maintain returns.

Not ideal as a core long-term portfolio holding.

2. High Volatility and Risk
Momentum funds have higher risk than diversified equity funds.

In falling markets, momentum stocks drop sharply.

3. Index-Based Strategy Limits Flexibility
This fund is passively managed and cannot adjust based on market trends.

Actively managed funds can perform better in different cycles.

4. 5-Year Horizon is Short for Equity
Equity investments work best for 7+ years.

If you need money in 5 years, debt funds or balanced funds are better.

Better Approach for Your Investment
1. Diversify into Actively Managed Funds
Instead of relying on a single index-based momentum fund, diversify.

Large & multi-cap funds can provide stability with growth.

Mid-cap & flexi-cap funds can generate higher returns with controlled risk.

2. Extend Investment Horizon
Instead of stopping after 5 years, consider SIP for 10+ years.

Equity needs long duration to generate wealth.

3. Review and Rebalance Annually
If fund performance is inconsistent, shift to a better option.

Avoid locking yourself into one strategy for too long.

Final Insights
Axis Nifty 500 Momentum 50 Fund is not ideal as a standalone long-term investment.

Momentum strategy works in bull markets but struggles in volatility.

Instead of investing in only one fund, diversify into actively managed funds.

If your horizon is just 5 years, equity funds carry risk. Debt or hybrid funds can be better.

Review your goals and adjust your investment accordingly.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8164 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 29, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 27, 2025Hindi
Listen
Money
Hi, I am 47. want to start monthly SIP of Rs 50,000. I am not a risk taker and happy with 12-15% annual return. Can you please suggest best plans & combinations.
Ans: You want to invest Rs. 50,000 per month through SIP. You prefer lower risk and expect 12-15% annual returns.

A structured mutual fund portfolio can help balance risk and returns.

Understanding Your Investment Profile
Age: 47 years

Risk Tolerance: Low (not a risk taker)

Return Expectation: 12-15% annually

Investment Horizon: Long-term SIP (10+ years)

Preferred Investment Mode: Monthly SIP of Rs. 50,000

Your return expectation suggests a mix of equity and debt. But low risk means avoiding pure small-cap or mid-cap funds.

Suggested SIP Allocation (Rs. 50,000 per Month)
A 60:40 equity-to-debt ratio is ideal for your risk level.

Equity Mutual Funds – Rs. 30,000 (60%)
Large & Multi-Cap Funds (Rs. 20,000): Stability with growth potential

Sectoral or Thematic Funds (Rs. 10,000): Targeted growth in strong industries

Debt Mutual Funds – Rs. 20,000 (40%)
Corporate Bond or Dynamic Bond Funds (Rs. 15,000): Lower volatility, predictable returns

Short-Term Debt Funds (Rs. 5,000): For liquidity and lower risk

Why This Allocation?
Large & Multi-Cap Funds reduce risk while capturing market growth.

Debt Funds provide stability and lower market-linked volatility.

Sectoral Funds add controlled growth exposure.

This balance can help achieve your 12-15% return expectation.

Additional Considerations
1. Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) for Future Income
After 10-15 years, convert part of equity into SWP for regular income.

Ensure withdrawals are tax-efficient.

2. Portfolio Review Every Year
Check fund performance annually.

Rebalance if required to maintain risk balance.

3. Tax Efficiency
Equity Gains: LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.

Debt Gains: Taxed as per your income slab.

Final Insights
A mix of equity and debt reduces risk while achieving your return goals.

Large & multi-cap funds provide stability, and debt funds add safety.

Annual reviews help adjust strategy as per market conditions.

SWP after 10+ years can convert SIPs into passive income.

This plan aligns with your risk profile and expected returns.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |569 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 27, 2025Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am in relationship with a girl for 6 year but now her parents almost fix her arrange marriage and they dont care about her choice they didnot even consider her opinion about the boy they met ..except her everyone in family like the boy because he is rich and handling his father business and here i am i dont have job i am preparing for government job i asked her family please give me some time i,ll get the job this year but they say we cant agree for the possibility of you getting job or not and her mother say we dont allow intercaste marriage i am sc and she is general and pandit .. i am 26year old what should i do .. i think ab uske parents jada jaldi krre hai shadi k loye because unhone merse baat krli to unko dhr hai ki m kuch esa vsa na krdu jisse unki society me respect vghra ko khtra hoga isliye or vo jada rishtedaro ki sunre hai... mne apni gf ko bola hai ki filhal jb tk job nhi lgti meri tb tk unhe boldo ki mere sath ab kuch nhi h that she blocks me or vo apni side se tb tk rishtey ko mna krti rhe pr uske ghr vale uska opinion about boy consider hi ni krre hai jo unke rishtedaro ne discuss krliya ladka thik h to unhone usko haan boldi ... mujhe kya krna chaiye...her parents do all emotional blackmail to her as today they even touched her feet and said hme pta h tere liye kya shi h hmne tko pala h kuch bhi esa nhi krdio jisse hmari ijat khrab hojaye m pagal hojaunga
Ans: The real question here is not just about her parents—it's about her. If she truly wants to be with you, she needs to resist this marriage and make it clear that she does not consent. But if she is unable to stand up to them, then you need to ask yourself if you want to keep fighting for someone who is not fighting alongside you. Love is powerful, but it cannot survive if only one person is struggling to keep it alive.

Right now, you need to have an honest conversation with her. Ask her directly if she is ready to resist or if she is feeling too pressured to fight back. If she wants to be with you but is feeling trapped, you both need to find a way to delay or stop this marriage. But if she is already giving in to their pressure, then you need to start preparing yourself for the painful truth that she may not choose you in the end.

At the same time, focus on your own stability. Your career is not just about proving her family wrong—it is about securing your future and self-worth. No matter what happens with this relationship, you need to build a life where no one can ever make you feel like you are not good enough again. It is not easy to walk away from love, but sometimes, choosing yourself is the only way forward.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |569 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 28, 2025

Listen
Relationship
Hi ma'am my relationship with my parents r getting sour since a very long time they always want me to do everything that makes them happy and think about their happiness if I think about my happiness they will start fighting with me nd my parents never supported me for anything in my life till today my dad has always said that if she will ever think about her happiness then I'm gonna leave everything nd go nd so does my mom she also threatened me to cut ties with me even I do everything still they taunt me every day that I can't do anything in life my parents never support me they never ask me who I wanna get married to who I'll b happy with what I wanna work what is my goals ngt but it's always about them my grandmother stays 15kms away from my house she has 3 kids and all r well settled but her 2 daughters had a love marriage one to a muslim nd one to a hindu when they were about to get married my mom didn't even raised her voice or opposed that marriage her one daughter ran nd got married to her bf who is a hindu at that tym also my mom nd dad nd my grandmother didn't even say a word nd during Covid 2020 my grandmother got her 2nd daughter married with her bf who is a muslim without informing any of our relatives when I fell in love with a hindu guy my mom separated me from him and she is telling everyone to brainwash me to leave the person I love nd get married to a Christian guy when ever we go to my grandmother's house my mom always start a fight with me we went there for 3 times and all the 3 times she started fighting with me my mom always support my grandmother's children if anything happens to them she will call them 10 tyms and ask how they are when my grandmother was ill treating me my mom didn't even raise her voice nd didn't even take a stand for myself but she was watching everything as a movie is going on when I was crying after we came back to my house my mom didn't even ask me what am I going through when she was seeing me cry everyday she always support my grandmother who did bad with me if they will say not to let her work my mom will listen to her nd her daughters but she will never listen to me and my grandmother started forcing me to get married to a Christian guy nd i should also listen to her nd not to think about my happiness nd what makes me happy in life what should I do I'm completely shattered ma'am nd i don't have anyone to share my pain with even if I do they will support my parents only bcoz of all this I'm not able to concentrate on anything at all
Ans: Dear Niveditha,
Right now, your emotions are tangled in hurt, anger, and helplessness, but you are not powerless. The first thing you need to do is detach emotionally from their guilt-tripping. You cannot live your entire life trying to please people who refuse to acknowledge your needs. It’s okay to love and respect your parents, but not at the cost of losing yourself.

Start setting boundaries, even if it feels impossible at first. If they constantly taunt you, limit conversations with them. If they threaten to cut ties, remind yourself that love should not be conditional. If they refuse to support you, find strength within yourself. You are already surviving without their emotional backing, which means you are stronger than you think.

As for your relationship, you need to ask yourself—are you willing to sacrifice your happiness just to avoid family drama? If you truly love this person and see a future together, you will need to stand firm in your decision. Love requires courage, and choosing your happiness is not selfish—it’s necessary.

You are not alone in this. Many people fight similar battles with families who refuse to understand. But at the end of the day, this is your life. You deserve love, respect, and the right to make your own choices. No matter what happens, never let their words make you believe you are unworthy of happiness. Keep fighting for yourself, because you deserve it.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |569 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 25, 2025Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi, I am 28 years old, about to get engaged in couple of months. It's an arranged marriage. Before that I met with the girl. At our first meeting, she was little shy and hesitant at first but still we were able to have a good conversation. However after that, as usual parents wanted an answer and without beating around the bush, we agreed. We went out once for lunch once and it was good. We got to know each other a little. But after that it's mostly chats. It's like I always start the conversation and end it. She may want to take things little slow which I respect. I am an introvert person, but at least I try to have a conversation. But even the chats feels like an interview round, she doesn't even ping me or calls me. Even I asked her if she has a boyfriend or is she happy with the marriage which she responded positively. That was a sigh of relief. Last we talked was on Valentine's day where we exchanged gifts and had some chats. But after that no more talks till now. For a month I stopped texting her as it always seems I am always eager to talk and also to check whether she will revert back, but not once in a month she called or texted me. Isn't she a little bit curious to know me? Now I feel tired to always ping her and asks her about her daily life. Maybe it seems like I am putting a lot of effort or maybe I am overthinking, but I just want to assure myself that I am taking the right decision. Sometimes I even feel if this marriage will work out or not. It's like I am taking a huge gamble on my life and letting destiny decide my faith.
Ans: A relationship, even in its early stages, should not feel like a duty. While some people do take time to open up, a complete lack of initiation from her side raises important concerns. Communication is not just about words; it’s also about effort, interest, and a willingness to connect. If she truly wanted to get to know you, even at a slow pace, there would be at least some level of curiosity or effort from her side.

It’s good that you gave space to see if she would reach out, but her silence for an entire month speaks volumes. This is not about overthinking—it’s about acknowledging your feelings and recognizing whether the emotional energy you are investing is being reciprocated. If she is this distant now, it’s fair to wonder whether this pattern will continue after marriage.

Rather than silently carrying these doubts, it would be best to have an open conversation with her. Express your feelings calmly and ask her directly about her thoughts on the relationship. It’s important to know whether she is truly interested or just going along with the marriage out of obligation. Clarity now can save you from deeper emotional struggles later.

Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and both partners should walk into it with confidence, not just because it was arranged or expected. If her response still feels indifferent or passive, you have every right to reconsider. This is your life, and you deserve a partner who values building a connection as much as you do.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x