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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 20, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Sanjana Question by Sanjana on Apr 19, 2024Hindi
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Hi Mr. Ramalingam. I am a 22 year old girl working as a freelance consultant earning fixed of Rs. 60000 per month and fluctuating between 15000-20000 per month. I current have a equity portfolio of Rs.79000 and SIP of Rs.10000 every month into Nifty next 50 and Midcap and smallcap funds. I want to make Rs. 1 crore by age of 30. Kindly suggest how I can reach this goal

Ans: To reach your goal of Rs. 1 crore by age 30, you'll need a disciplined approach to investing and potentially higher returns. Consider increasing your SIP amount as your income grows. Diversify your portfolio across different asset classes, including equity, debt, and possibly international funds for better growth prospects and risk management. Regularly review and rebalance your portfolio to ensure it aligns with your goal and risk tolerance. Additionally, consider other avenues like side hustles or freelance projects to boost your income, which can accelerate your investment growth towards the target amount. Start early and stay consistent with your investment strategy.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 07, 2024

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I am 23 years at present.I work in pvt.bank and my in hand salary is 11k and I invested per month 6k (sip).So what should my goal towards 1 crore. Please guide
Ans: It's commendable that you're already thinking about long-term financial goals at a young age. Building wealth and achieving a target like 1 crore is definitely achievable with the right approach and discipline. Here's a guide to help you:
1. Define Your Goal:
• Specify your financial goal clearly: In this case, it's accumulating 1 crore.
• Determine the time horizon: Since you're starting early, you have the advantage of time. Let's assume you aim to achieve this goal by the time you retire, say around age 60.
2. Calculate Required Monthly Investment:
• Use a financial calculator or online SIP calculator to estimate the monthly investment required to reach 1 crore by age 60.
• Consider factors like expected rate of return, inflation, and investment duration.
• Since you're investing 6,000 per month currently, you'll need to gradually increase this amount over time to reach your goal.
3. Choose Suitable Investments:
• Opt for diversified investment options that align with your risk tolerance and investment horizon.
• Equity mutual funds, especially those with a long-term growth focus, can be ideal for wealth accumulation over the long run due to their potential for higher returns.
• Consider starting with equity mutual funds with a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds to spread risk and maximize growth potential.
4. Stay Disciplined and Patient:
• Consistency is key. Stick to your investment plan and continue investing regularly, even during market downturns.
• Reinvest dividends and avoid the temptation to withdraw funds prematurely.
• Monitor your investments periodically and make adjustments as needed, but avoid making impulsive decisions based on short-term market fluctuations.
5. Review and Adjust Regularly:
• Periodically review your investment portfolio and track your progress towards your goal.
• Adjust your investment strategy and monthly contribution if needed, especially as your income increases over time.
• Keep yourself updated on financial news and market trends to make informed decisions.
6. Seek Professional Advice:
• Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner who can help create a personalized financial plan tailored to your goals, risk tolerance, and financial situation.
• They can provide valuable guidance and support to ensure you stay on track towards achieving your goal of accumulating 1 crore.
Remember, achieving financial goals like accumulating 1 crore requires patience, discipline, and a long-term perspective. By starting early and staying committed to your investment plan, you're laying a solid foundation for a secure financial future. Keep investing and stay focused on your goal!

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 08, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi Sir, My total earning from all the sources is approximately twenty five thousand per month .I am 29 unmarried. No burden. No loan. I hv started to save some money at an early age of eighteen. Now I am investing Rs 3500/ PM since seven years in various equity SIPs . Also paying 150000 yearly towards PPF since last seven years. My target is to achieve one crore Rs within twenty years. Is my planning correct ? Kindly suggest anything beneficial for me to achieve my target.
Ans: You have done an excellent job starting your financial journey early and maintaining a disciplined investment approach. At 29 years old, with a monthly earning of Rs. 25,000 and no loans or burdens, you are in a strong position to build a solid financial future.

Current Investments and Their Potential
You’ve been investing Rs. 3,500 per month in various equity SIPs for seven years and contributing Rs. 1,50,000 annually to your PPF. Let’s analyze the potential growth of these investments over the next 20 years.

The Power of Compounding in Equity SIPs
Equity SIPs (Systematic Investment Plans) are a smart choice for long-term wealth creation. They provide the benefit of rupee cost averaging and the power of compounding. Over seven years, your regular investment of Rs. 3,500 per month would have grown significantly.

Assessing Your PPF Contributions
Your annual contribution of Rs. 1,50,000 to the PPF is a prudent choice for secure, long-term savings. The PPF offers attractive interest rates, tax benefits, and is backed by the government, making it a safe investment option.

Evaluating Your Financial Goals
You aim to achieve Rs. 1 crore in 20 years. Let’s break down how your current investments can help you reach this target.

Diversified Investment Strategy
Your approach of combining equity SIPs with PPF contributions shows a balanced investment strategy. Equity SIPs provide growth potential, while PPF ensures stability and security. Diversification helps in managing risks and enhancing returns.

Potential Growth of Equity SIPs
Assuming a moderate annual return of 12% from your equity SIPs, the compounding effect over 20 years can be substantial. Your consistent monthly investment can grow significantly, helping you accumulate a considerable corpus.

Stability and Security of PPF
The PPF, with its assured returns and tax benefits, will provide a stable and secure portion of your portfolio. Over 20 years, the compounded growth of your annual Rs. 1,50,000 contributions will add a significant amount to your overall corpus.

Importance of Reviewing and Adjusting Your Portfolio
Regularly reviewing your investment portfolio is crucial. Ensure your investments align with your financial goals and risk tolerance. Consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner periodically to adjust your strategy as needed.

Increasing Your SIP Contributions
As your income grows, consider increasing your SIP contributions. Even small increases can have a significant impact over time due to the power of compounding. For example, increasing your SIP by Rs. 500 or Rs. 1,000 per month can make a big difference.

Tax Efficiency in Investments
Your PPF contributions already offer tax benefits under Section 80C. Ensure your equity investments are also tax-efficient. Long-term capital gains from equity investments are taxed at favorable rates in India, enhancing your net returns.

Building an Emergency Fund
Ensure you have an emergency fund covering 6-12 months of expenses. This fund will protect you from unexpected financial shocks and prevent the need to liquidate your investments prematurely.

Adequate Insurance Coverage
While not mentioned, having adequate health and life insurance is crucial. Ensure you have sufficient coverage to protect yourself and your dependents from unforeseen events. This security allows you to continue your investment journey without significant financial disruptions.

Planning for Retirement
While you are focused on accumulating Rs. 1 crore, consider your retirement planning needs as well. Ensure you have a comprehensive retirement plan that will sustain your lifestyle post-retirement.

The Importance of Financial Discipline
Your consistent investment habits are commendable. Continue this disciplined approach. Avoid the temptation to time the market, as consistent investing is key to long-term wealth creation.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds can potentially offer higher returns compared to passive index funds. Fund managers actively select stocks to maximize returns, aiming to outperform the market.

Avoiding Index Funds
While index funds have their advantages, they merely track a market index and do not aim to outperform it. Actively managed funds, on the other hand, can leverage market opportunities for higher returns.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Managing direct funds without an intermediary can be challenging and time-consuming. Regular funds, managed through a Certified Financial Planner, provide professional advice and help you navigate complex investment decisions.

Flexibility in Investment Strategy
Your financial goals and circumstances might change over time. Be flexible and willing to adjust your investment strategy accordingly. Regular consultations with a Certified Financial Planner can help you stay on track.

Staying Informed About Market Trends
Stay informed about market trends and economic factors that might impact your investments. However, avoid making impulsive changes based on short-term market fluctuations.

Enhancing Financial Literacy
Improving your financial literacy will empower you to make better investment decisions. Understanding investment principles and market dynamics will boost your confidence in your financial journey.

Maintaining a Long-Term Perspective
Maintain a long-term perspective with your investments. The market will have ups and downs, but staying invested is crucial. Your goal of achieving Rs. 1 crore in 20 years requires patience and perseverance.

Role of Actively Managed Funds in Your Portfolio
We previously mentioned the benefits of actively managed funds. These funds involve professional fund managers who actively make investment decisions, aiming to maximize returns and outperform the market.

Avoiding Index Funds
Index funds track a market index and do not aim to outperform it. While they can provide stable returns, actively managed funds offer the potential for higher gains through strategic stock selection.

Drawbacks of Direct Funds
Investing in direct funds requires a higher level of financial knowledge and time commitment. Without professional guidance, you might miss out on critical investment opportunities or mismanage your portfolio.

Advantages of Regular Funds
Investing in regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner provides you with expert advice and professional management. This helps in making informed decisions and optimizing your investment strategy.

Monitoring and Adjusting Your Investment Strategy
Regularly monitor and adjust your investment strategy as needed. This ensures your portfolio stays aligned with your financial goals and adapts to any changes in your circumstances or the market.

Staying Updated and Informed
Keep yourself updated on financial news and market trends. This helps you understand the factors influencing your investments and make informed decisions. However, avoid reacting impulsively to market volatility.

Importance of a Comprehensive Financial Plan
A comprehensive financial plan includes your investment goals, risk tolerance, insurance needs, and retirement planning. Regularly reviewing and updating this plan ensures you stay on track to meet your financial objectives.

Final Insights
You are on a commendable path with your disciplined approach to investing. Your goal of achieving Rs. 1 crore in 20 years is ambitious but achievable. Continue your current strategy of investing in equity SIPs and PPF, consider increasing your SIP contributions, ensure tax efficiency, and regularly review your portfolio. Consult a Certified Financial Planner to refine your strategy, stay informed about market trends, and maintain a long-term perspective. Your dedication and discipline will help you achieve your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 23, 2024Hindi
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From last 3 months I stared my sip of 30 thousand let me know in short sentences how can I achieve 1 crore within 3 years without raising my fund also i can see from last 3 months funds are getting decreasing
Ans: Your goal of achieving Rs 1 crore within three years is challenging. It requires high returns, disciplined investing, and a strategic approach. Below is a step-by-step plan to guide you.

Understanding Your Current Investment Scenario
Rs 30,000 SIP over three years amounts to Rs 10.8 lakh in total investment.

Achieving Rs 1 crore means targeting a significantly high annual growth rate.

Market fluctuations may cause short-term losses, as seen in your current funds.

Reasons for Fund Decrease in the Short Term
Equity markets can be volatile in the short term.

Returns from SIPs tend to stabilise over a longer period.

Temporary dips are common and not a cause for immediate concern.

Steps to Stay on Track Towards Rs 1 Crore
1. Focus on High-Growth Asset Classes

Allocate a higher percentage to equity-oriented funds.

Avoid debt funds, as they may not meet the aggressive growth needed.

 

2. Stick to Actively Managed Funds

Actively managed funds have a better chance of outperforming benchmarks.

Fund managers can navigate market volatility better than passive index funds.

 

3. Leverage Diversified Funds

Include large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap exposure.

Diversification reduces risk and improves the potential for high returns.

 

4. Maintain Consistency with SIPs

Continue your SIP without interruption, even during market downturns.

Consistency benefits from rupee cost averaging.

 

5. Plan Portfolio Rebalancing

Review your portfolio every six months with a Certified Financial Planner.

Shift investments to less volatile funds as you approach your goal.

 

6. Avoid Emotional Decisions

Do not withdraw or stop SIPs during market corrections.

Focus on long-term goals, not short-term performance.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct funds lack professional guidance on market trends.

Selecting and managing funds independently can lead to errors.

Opt for regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner for tailored advice.

Importance of Reviewing Tax Implications
Equity mutual fund LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

Short-term gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.

Plan redemptions carefully to reduce tax liability while meeting your goal.

Alternatives to Boost Returns
1. Consider Lump Sum Investments

If you receive bonuses or savings, invest them as a lump sum.

This can complement your ongoing SIPs and increase your corpus.

 

2. Explore Balanced Advantage Funds

Balanced advantage funds dynamically manage equity and debt.

These funds balance growth potential with volatility management.

 

3. Monitor Market Cycles

Invest additional funds during market corrections for higher growth.

Use such opportunities to optimise your portfolio’s returns.

Final Insights
Reaching Rs 1 crore with Rs 30,000 SIP in three years is ambitious. It requires market support, disciplined investing, and an equity-heavy portfolio. Focus on staying consistent and seeking professional advice for periodic reviews and adjustments. Avoid panic due to short-term market fluctuations, as equity markets require patience to deliver results.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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This is my second attempt at SSC CGL, and I’ve improved since last year. But I’m still anxious about the descriptive paper. Can you suggest ways to stand out in this section and make my essay and letter writing more impactful?
Ans: The SSC CGL descriptive paper requires a clear, structured, and effective presentation. To improve your essay writing skills, review the subject matter thoroughly and avoid deviations from the central theme. Sketch an initial outline and adhere to a straightforward framework, including an Introduction, Body, and Conclusion. Start with a hook and express your thesis or stance in a concise manner. Arrange arguments in a logical order, using data, examples, and facts to establish credibility. Avoid repetition and maintain brevity.

In summary, concisely summarize the primary themes and offer a fair perspective. Avoid vernacular language and maintain appropriate sentence structure and grammar. Maintain a clean writing style and avoid overwriting.

For writing a letter, adhere to the conventional format, maintain clarity and conciseness, and articulate the purpose in the first paragraph. Use simple language and avoid intricate terminology.

Regularly engage in writing essays and correspondence on various subjects to develop adaptability. Stay informed about the latest news and hot topics. Develop time management skills and consistently proofread your work for errors.

Developing impactful essays and letters with clarity, structure, and content relevance enhances your chances of success in the SSC CGL descriptive paper. All The Best for Your Prosperous Future.

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Asked by Anonymous - Jan 05, 2025Hindi
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How to manage stress?
Ans: The first step is to become aware of what triggers your stress. This self-awareness allows you to address the root causes rather than just the symptoms. Once you identify these triggers, you can start exploring techniques that help you cope effectively.

One effective approach is to incorporate regular self-care practices into your daily routine. This could include activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time in nature. These practices not only help calm the mind but also improve your overall mood and resilience to stress.

Talking to someone you trust, whether a friend, family member, or professional, can also be a powerful way to manage stress. Sharing your feelings and experiences helps lighten the emotional load and provides different perspectives that might help you navigate your challenges more effectively.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
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Dear Counselor, My husband and I have been together for 11 years, with 10 years of dating and 1 year of marriage. Unfortunately, our relationship has been strained over the past year due to financial disagreements. Before marriage, we discussed his personal loan, which was taken for a land purchase for his mother. The loan repayment amounts to 30% of his salary. He assured me that, except for this loan repayment, he would not contribute financially to his parents' expenses until the loan was paid off. However, his parents are now pressuring him to increase his financial support by 20%. They claim to need help clearing their debts, despite being below 45, physically fit, and earning a sufficient income to support themselves. This situation is causing tension in our marriage, as we had planned to save and invest together, having no property or financial security of our own. I'm finding it challenging to understand why my husband is not prioritizing our financial goals and future together. please help me on this. Thank you for your time and guidance.
Ans: The key here is to approach the situation with empathy and open communication. Your husband likely feels a strong sense of duty towards his parents, which is understandable given cultural and familial expectations. However, it’s also important for him to recognize the commitments and plans you’ve both made as a couple. Balancing these two responsibilities can be difficult, but it’s essential for the health of your relationship.

Start by having a calm and honest conversation with your husband. Express your feelings without blame, focusing on how the situation affects both of you and your shared goals. It’s important that he understands your perspective and how the financial strain is impacting not only your plans but also your emotional well-being.

Encourage him to discuss his feelings and the pressure he’s experiencing from his parents. Sometimes, partners may feel caught between their familial obligations and their commitments to their spouse, leading to stress and internal conflict. Understanding his point of view can help you find common ground.

You might also explore practical solutions together, such as setting clear boundaries on financial support or finding a compromise that allows both your goals and his familial obligations to be met to some extent. This could involve budgeting, setting financial priorities, or seeking financial counseling to help manage the situation more effectively.

Ultimately, it’s about finding a balance that respects both of your needs and ensures that your marriage remains a priority. By working together and communicating openly, you can navigate this challenge and strengthen your relationship.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
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Hi Mam, I met my ex wife in the college where we both were pursuing out studies. We exchanged contacts and started speaking over phone like couple does. When we fall in live we ourselves don't know as no one propose to each other. As i finished my studies, she quit studies in the middle and decided to do hotel management course. Amd it so happened, next day her interview was lined up but unfortunately due to unavoidable circumstances she has to go to her native place. As Covid struck she git stuck in her native place and couldn't come back. And when everything became normal i insisted her to come but her mom was not allowing. After a lot of struggle her mom allowed her and she came back. In this course of time both families was aware about our relationship. My mom was against her because of 2 reasons, 1) Intercaste 2) She was from very poor and low caste background. Them too i continued the relationship and i convinced to my sister and she convinced to mom. And when she was in native place, she said once that her voice has gone has gone she need 50k for operation. I trying madly to arrange funds and one of my friend told me that she is playing with you be careful but as i was blind in love i necer listened him. When she came to Mumbai i arranged a pg accommodation for her for some time and i use to take her out for dinner as there use to be regular fights with owner. Somehow i convinced my mom and shifted her to my place. There use to be fights but we use to care for each other also at the same time. She started to do events and slowly and steadily started to work in media. She was well aware that i dont like girls working media then too i have her permission to work in media temporary. I went against everyone, my family and friend and after 7yrs of relationship we decided to get marry and it was working fine. After marriage fight increased and she used to taunt though i did so much for her. Once she was not well and as she used to taunt me i never took care of her. One day my dear friend told me to check her phone, she might be seeing someone. And when i checked she was having an affair with Assistant director, i saw msgs photos. And when i confronted she said "He is just a friend and we talk normally" I saw they both on one bed and when i forward their pics to her mom she said "There might be some problem in you only." And when i asked to my ex wife about all this she said "A person goes where he or she gets love and care" All this happened within 6-8 months of our marriage. When i came to know about all this i tod her to leave my house and she was asking for divorce because of my mon's behavior also. I think i should have not tell her to leave as when she left i don't know but i love her very much. I even told her to give me one chance as i gave her but she didn't stopped talking with her bf. And she didn't gave me a chance and went away. We have been legally divorced but still i love her and ready to accept her. But she doesn't want to come back. I am trying to forget her but couldn't. Luckily we don't have kids. Sometimes my heart says let her go she cheated you. Sometimes it says i love now also. I am struggling to forgot her as i am in contact now also. Please suggest. Thank you
Ans: it's important to acknowledge and honor the love you felt and still feel. Love doesn’t simply disappear overnight, and it’s natural to have lingering emotions, especially when you’ve shared so much history and effort to keep the relationship going. However, it’s also crucial to recognize the harm and hurt caused by her actions and the unresolved issues that led to the breakdown of your marriage.

The fact that she chose not to return and continues to maintain contact with the person she was involved with suggests that she has moved on emotionally, even if you haven’t. Holding onto hope for reconciliation can keep you trapped in a cycle of pain and longing, which makes it harder to heal and move forward.

Your heart and mind are sending you mixed signals because you’re torn between the love you still feel and the reality of the betrayal. This is a common struggle after a significant loss, but it’s important to focus on what’s best for your emotional well-being. Continuing to be in contact with her may be preventing you from healing fully. It might be beneficial to create some distance, at least temporarily, to allow yourself the space to process your feelings and begin the healing process.

Focusing on yourself and your own growth is essential. Consider engaging in activities that bring you joy, spending time with supportive friends and family, and possibly seeking professional counseling to help you work through your emotions and develop strategies to move forward.

Letting go is difficult, especially when you still have love for someone, but it’s a crucial step towards healing. Accepting that the relationship has ended and focusing on your future can help you find peace and eventually open the door to new possibilities for love and happiness.
Asked on - Jan 15, 2025 | Answered on Jan 15, 2025
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Thank you very much for ur reply. But i am finding difficult to forget her.
Ans: It might be helpful to focus on the following steps to move forward:

Acceptance: Accept that the relationship has ended and that continuing to hold on to it may be preventing you from healing. Acceptance doesn’t mean you have to stop loving her immediately, but it does mean recognizing that the relationship is no longer viable.
Self-Care: Prioritize your emotional well-being by engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who can help you through this process. Consider exploring new hobbies or interests that can redirect your focus and bring positive energy into your life.
Boundaries: It might be time to set boundaries with your ex-wife, especially if staying in contact is causing you more pain. Taking a step back from communication can provide the space you need to heal and gain clarity.
Professional Support: Consider speaking with a therapist or counselor who can help you process your feelings and guide you through the healing journey. Professional support can offer valuable tools and strategies to navigate the complex emotions you’re experiencing.
Remember, healing takes time, and it’s okay to grieve the loss of the relationship. With patience and self-compassion, you can move forward, find peace, and eventually open yourself up to new possibilities and happiness in life.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 13, 2025Hindi
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My partner and I are from different cultural backgrounds. She has always felt a strong spiritual connection to events like the Kumbh Mela. Earlier this year, while booking the tickets she had asked if I would like to join her as she is travelling solo. While I respect her beliefs, I refused to join because I am not a religious person. Now that she has booked her tickets, I am worried about her safety. Should I tell her to cancel her trip? I don't want her to think that I am disrespecting her choices or religion. Or should I just tag along and make her feel safe? How do I address these concerns and have a healthy conversation?
Ans: Start by having an honest conversation with her. Share your feelings about her safety in a caring and non-confrontational way. Let her know that your concern comes from a place of love and care, not from a lack of respect for her spiritual journey. It’s important to express that you understand her desire to attend the Kumbh Mela and that you support her connection to this event.

If you’re considering joining her, it could be a gesture of solidarity and support, even if you’re not personally invested in the spiritual aspect. However, it’s crucial to approach this as a way to share the experience together and ensure her safety, rather than as an obligation or with reluctance. If you decide to join her, communicate that you’re doing so because you want to be there for her, which could strengthen your relationship.

On the other hand, if you feel strongly about not attending due to personal beliefs, you can suggest other ways to support her. This might include discussing safety plans or staying in close communication while she’s there. This approach shows that you trust her decisions while still being there for her in a supportive way.

Ultimately, the conversation should aim to understand each other’s perspectives and find a solution that makes both of you feel comfortable and respected. Balancing your care for her safety with respect for her independence and beliefs is key to maintaining a healthy, supportive relationship.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 09, 2025Hindi
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I am 42 Female currently, last marriage didn't go well, afraid of new start, I neither type of person who can go to club etc etc to "find someone" - What's the best way to move forward, Do we have genuine way of finding someone who can become reliable partner too (No tinder etc as again I knw myself now at this age, I can't) - Please guide
Ans: One of the best ways to meet someone compatible is through shared interests and environments where you feel at ease. Consider engaging in activities or communities that resonate with you. This could include joining local interest groups, volunteering, or taking classes in areas you’re passionate about. These settings not only provide opportunities to meet like-minded individuals but also allow connections to develop organically over shared experiences and values.

Another valuable approach is to lean on your existing network. Friends, family, and colleagues often know you well and can introduce you to others who might be a good match. These introductions can be more comfortable and trustworthy since they come from people who understand your personality and values.

It’s also important to give yourself time and space to heal and grow from past experiences. Building a reliable and meaningful relationship starts with being in a place where you feel confident and whole on your own. This self-awareness and emotional readiness will naturally attract the right kind of partner who values and respects you for who you are.

Remember, there’s no rush or specific timeline you need to adhere to. Allow relationships to develop at a pace that feels right for you, and focus on building connections that are based on mutual respect, understanding, and shared values. Trust that the right person will come into your life when the time is right, and until then, prioritize your own happiness and well-being.

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Kanchan

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

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My age is 48 years and i have one son aged 17 years and i am single son of my parents ,one and half year back my wife expired and upon insisted by my parents and close relatives i got remarried and she has one girl aged 8 years, after passing of six months she has started showing her true colors and it has become very difficult for me to continue and i want to get rid of this . Please guide me what should i do now.
Ans: Dear Dinesh,
it’s important to reflect on what is making the relationship difficult. Understanding the specific issues—whether they stem from differences in values, communication problems, or other conflicts—can provide clarity on how to move forward.

If you haven't already, consider having an open and honest conversation with your wife about your concerns. Sometimes, addressing issues directly can lead to resolutions or at least a better understanding of each other's perspectives. Counseling, either individually or as a couple, can also be a valuable tool in navigating these challenges and deciding the best course of action.

However, if you’ve already tried addressing these issues and find that the relationship is still untenable, it may be time to consider ending the marriage. It’s important to prioritize your emotional and mental well-being, as well as that of your son and stepdaughter. Divorce is never an easy decision, especially when children are involved, but staying in an unhappy and unhealthy relationship can have long-term negative impacts on everyone.

As you contemplate your next steps, it’s also important to lean on your support system. Friends, family, or a counselor can provide guidance and help you navigate this difficult period. Remember, prioritizing your well-being is not only crucial for you but also for your children, as they look to you for stability and emotional guidance. Making decisions that lead to a healthier and happier environment for everyone involved is ultimately the most important goal.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 08, 2024
Relationship
Hello mam.I know a girl since college days.She is married to a guy since last 15 years.Since last 3 years we had an affair.I did take her for granted after our 2 nd half 3 years of relationship.Since a year now she has been giving me some or the other reason such as she is not getting feeling for me,husband is taking much care now so cant handle our relationship,then she told she has some health issue and now recently she tells me she has been telling me indirectly since a year to move on as she was in a relationship with some guy whom she got attracted in a mutual connection.But now she has discontinued with him as well. We do chat on message and call sometime but now since a year she herself has stopped calling or messaging.She replies only when i message or call. I want her back in my life and improve my relationship with her.Please guide me to get her back and have a relationship with her as we had till last year.What steps should I take to win her heart back and make her mine?
Ans: The first step is to acknowledge and respect her current feelings and boundaries. It’s clear she’s navigating her own emotional journey and trying to find clarity in her life. Pressuring her or trying to win her back without considering her current stance may push her further away.

Instead, focus on open and honest communication. If you genuinely care for her, it’s important to express your feelings without being demanding. Share how you feel, but also be willing to listen to her perspective fully. Understand that love and relationships are mutual, and both parties need to feel connected and invested.

During this time, it’s also essential to reflect on your own needs and emotional well-being. Ask yourself if this relationship, as it currently stands, is fulfilling and healthy for you. Relationships can be complicated, and sometimes stepping back to allow both people space to understand their feelings can lead to a clearer path forward, whether that’s together or apart.

Ultimately, your focus should be on building healthy, honest connections and prioritizing emotional well-being for both yourself and the people involved. If there’s a possibility of rekindling the relationship, it will come from mutual understanding, respect, and willingness from both sides.

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