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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 07, 2024Hindi
Money

Abhishek Asked on - Jun 26, 2024 Hi I am 43 Year old Software engineer having 1.6 Cr in Mutual Funds, 30L in FD and 13 L in NPS , 30 L in EPF and also have my own house with ground floor on rent, , currently earning Rs 1L a month. I have a 13 year old son, I am planning to retire by 45 , will it be possible or do I need to actively work for at least 7 more years, I have Term life insurance of 75L and health insurance as well. My needs are mostly modest with 50K - 60K needed for monthly expenditure in a tier 3 city (Indore)

Ans: I appreciate your thoughtful approach to your retirement planning. It’s clear you’ve made some solid financial decisions. Let’s delve into your current financial standing and evaluate whether you can achieve your retirement goal by age 45 or if you need to work longer.

You have Rs 1.6 crore in mutual funds, Rs 30 lakh in fixed deposits (FDs), Rs 13 lakh in the National Pension System (NPS), and Rs 30 lakh in the Employees’ Provident Fund (EPF). Additionally, you own a house with rental income from the ground floor. You’re earning Rs 1 lakh per month and have a term life insurance of Rs 75 lakh and health insurance in place. Your monthly expenses are modest, at Rs 50,000 to Rs 60,000, given you live in a tier 3 city.

Retirement Corpus Estimation
To determine whether you can retire at 45, we need to estimate the corpus required to sustain your post-retirement lifestyle. Your estimated monthly expenses are Rs 50,000 to Rs 60,000. Let’s take the higher end, Rs 60,000, for a more conservative estimate. Annually, this amounts to Rs 7.2 lakh.

Considering inflation, which typically ranges between 6-7% in India, your expenses will increase over time. Assuming you plan to retire in two years at 45 and live for another 35 years, you need to ensure your corpus can sustain this duration.

Existing Investments and Returns
Let’s analyze the potential growth of your current investments:

Mutual Funds: With Rs 1.6 crore in mutual funds, if we assume an average annual return of 12%, your corpus will continue to grow substantially.

Fixed Deposits: Your Rs 30 lakh in FDs, assuming an average return of 6-7%, will provide moderate growth.

NPS: With Rs 13 lakh in NPS, assuming an average return of 8-10%, this will also grow, though it’s more beneficial post-retirement due to tax benefits.

EPF: Your Rs 30 lakh in EPF, assuming an average return of 8%, will grow steadily.

Rental Income and Other Sources
The rental income from your ground floor adds a stable income stream, reducing the reliance on your investment corpus. This is a valuable asset as it offers a regular income, helping cover part of your monthly expenses.

Assessing Your Insurance Coverage
Your term life insurance of Rs 75 lakh is a good safety net for your family. Health insurance is crucial, especially post-retirement, to manage medical emergencies without dipping into your savings. Ensure your health coverage is adequate and review it periodically.

Evaluating the Need for Active Work Beyond 45
Given your current financial standing and the growth potential of your investments, let’s assess whether you need to work beyond 45.

Investment Growth: If your investments grow as estimated, they should provide a significant corpus. However, early retirement means relying on your investments for a longer period, increasing the impact of market volatility and inflation.

Expense Management: Your modest expenses are an advantage. However, consider potential increases due to health-related costs or lifestyle changes. Ensuring you have a buffer in your corpus for unexpected expenses is prudent.

Income Streams: The rental income adds a layer of financial security. If this income is reliable, it will significantly reduce the burden on your investment corpus.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Since you already have a substantial investment in mutual funds, let’s discuss why actively managed funds might be more suitable than index funds. Actively managed funds have the potential to outperform the market, especially in volatile conditions. Skilled fund managers can make strategic decisions to maximize returns, which is crucial for early retirees relying on investment growth.

Regular vs. Direct Mutual Funds
Investing through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) credential can provide several advantages. Regular funds, although they come with a slightly higher expense ratio, offer valuable advisory services. A CFP can help you navigate market fluctuations, rebalance your portfolio, and ensure your investments align with your retirement goals.

Preparing for Medical and Other Emergencies
Post-retirement, having a robust health insurance plan is vital. Ensure your health insurance covers a wide range of medical conditions and includes a high sum insured. Consider a family floater policy if it’s cost-effective. Review your policy annually and increase coverage if necessary.

Final Insights
Retiring at 45 is an ambitious goal, but with careful planning, it’s within reach. Here’s a summary of the steps to take:

Estimate Corpus: Ensure your retirement corpus can sustain your estimated expenses, factoring in inflation and longevity.

Investment Growth: Regularly review and rebalance your investment portfolio to optimize returns and manage risks.

Insurance Coverage: Maintain adequate health and life insurance to protect against unforeseen events.

Diversify Income: Ensure multiple income streams post-retirement, including rental income and investment returns.

Professional Advice: Consider engaging a Certified Financial Planner to guide you through complex financial decisions and optimize your investment strategy.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
Money

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 11, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 26, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi I am 43 Year old Software engineer having 1.6 Cr in Mutual Funds, 30L in FD and 13 L in NPS , 30 L in EPF and also have my own house with ground floor on rent, , currently earning Rs 1L a month. I have a 13 year old son, I am planning to retire by 45 , will it be possible or do I need to actively work for at least 7 more years, I have Term life insurance of 75L and health insurance as well. My needs are mostly modest with 50K - 60K needed for monthly expenditure in a tier 3 city (Indore)
Ans: Great to hear about your impressive financial progress. Let’s dive deep into your situation and analyze your retirement feasibility by age 45.

Current Financial Landscape
You have Rs 1.6 crore in mutual funds, Rs 30 lakh in FDs, Rs 13 lakh in NPS, and Rs 30 lakh in EPF. Your house also provides rental income. This solid base is commendable!

Your monthly salary is Rs 1 lakh, with Rs 50,000-60,000 needed for monthly expenses in Indore. Your term life insurance of Rs 75 lakh and health insurance provide necessary coverage.

Evaluating Your Retirement Plan
Retiring at 45 is ambitious, but not impossible. Let’s assess it.

Mutual Funds

Your Rs 1.6 crore in mutual funds is a great start. Mutual funds provide diversification and potential for good returns. However, ensure you have a mix of equity and debt funds. Equity funds can grow your wealth, but carry higher risk. Debt funds are more stable but offer lower returns. This mix will balance growth and safety.

Fixed Deposits (FDs)

Rs 30 lakh in FDs is safe but offers low returns. Consider reducing your FD amount and shifting some funds to mutual funds or other higher-yield options. This could enhance your growth potential without significantly increasing risk.

National Pension System (NPS)

Rs 13 lakh in NPS is good. NPS is beneficial due to tax benefits and long-term growth potential. Continue contributing to NPS, as it will be a key source of post-retirement income.

Employees’ Provident Fund (EPF)

Rs 30 lakh in EPF is another strong point. EPF provides a decent return and is a reliable retirement corpus. Ensure you continue contributing to this fund until retirement.

Real Estate

Your house with rental income adds to your financial stability. Rental income can supplement your expenses post-retirement. However, property management can be a hassle, so factor that into your plans.

Monthly Expenditure Analysis
You need Rs 50,000-60,000 monthly for expenses. This translates to Rs 6-7.2 lakh annually. Post-retirement, your income must cover this without depleting your savings.

Assessing Your Financial Goals
Retirement Corpus

To sustain Rs 6-7.2 lakh annual expenses, you need a substantial retirement corpus. Typically, financial planners suggest a corpus of 20-25 times your annual expenses. This means you need around Rs 1.2 crore to Rs 1.8 crore.

Your current savings and investments total Rs 2.33 crore (excluding rental income and insurance). This is close to your target, but let’s consider inflation and unforeseen expenses.

Analyzing the Feasibility of Retiring at 45
Inflation Impact

Inflation erodes purchasing power. Assuming an average inflation rate of 6%, your Rs 50,000-60,000 monthly need will grow. You must account for this when planning your retirement corpus.

Healthcare Costs

Health expenses tend to rise with age. Ensure your health insurance covers significant medical costs. Consider increasing your health insurance coverage if necessary.

Education Expenses

Your son is 13. Education expenses, especially higher education, can be substantial. Ensure you have allocated enough funds for this.

Emergency Fund

Maintain an emergency fund for unforeseen expenses. This fund should cover at least 6-12 months of expenses.

Power of Compounding
Mutual Funds Growth

Mutual funds benefit from the power of compounding. Over time, reinvested returns generate additional income, significantly growing your wealth. This is crucial for building a robust retirement corpus.

Evaluating Risks
Market Risk

Equity mutual funds are subject to market risk. Diversify your portfolio to mitigate this risk. Don’t put all your money in one type of investment.

Interest Rate Risk

FDs and debt funds are affected by interest rate changes. Balance these with equity investments for optimal returns.

Longevity Risk

You might live longer than expected. Ensure your corpus is adequate to support a longer retirement period.

Strategy for Early Retirement
Step 1: Diversify Investments

Ensure a balanced mix of equity, debt, and other assets. This reduces risk and optimizes returns.

Step 2: Increase Contributions

Increase contributions to your NPS and EPF. This enhances your retirement corpus.

Step 3: Continue Working

Consider working a few more years if possible. This boosts your savings and delays corpus withdrawal.

Step 4: Reevaluate Insurance

Ensure your term life insurance and health insurance are adequate. Adjust coverage as needed.

Step 5: Monitor and Adjust Portfolio

Regularly review and adjust your investment portfolio. This ensures alignment with your goals and market conditions.

Understanding Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds have professional managers making investment decisions. These managers aim to outperform the market, potentially providing better returns than index funds.

Advantages of Actively Managed Funds

Professional Management: Experts manage your investments.
Potential for Higher Returns: Aim to outperform the market.
Flexibility: Managers can adjust portfolios based on market conditions.
Disadvantages of Index Funds

Passive Management: No active decision-making.
Market-Linked Returns: Returns mirror the market, no chance of outperformance.
Lack of Flexibility: Fixed portfolio structure, no adjustments.
Benefits of Regular Funds
Expert Guidance

Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) provides professional advice and personalized strategies. CFPs guide you based on your financial goals and risk appetite.

Monitoring and Adjustments

Regular funds offer continuous monitoring and adjustments. This ensures your investments stay aligned with your financial goals.

Risk Management

CFPs help in managing risks through diversification and strategic asset allocation.

Final Insights
Retiring at 45 is ambitious, but with careful planning, it's possible. Your current financial status is strong, but consider the following steps:

Diversify Investments: Balance between equity, debt, and other assets.
Increase Contributions: Boost your NPS and EPF contributions.
Review Insurance: Ensure adequate life and health insurance coverage.
Consider Working Longer: A few more years of work can significantly strengthen your financial position.
Monitor and Adjust: Regularly review and adjust your investment portfolio.
Your current assets and income are commendable, and with strategic planning, you can achieve a comfortable retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 05, 2024
Money
Sir I am 47 years old and want to retire in next 2-3 years. My portfolio is as under FD-22 L MF-22 L. ( SIP of 33000 running) Gold--10 L EPF--24 L and App Gratuity -10 L Equity--10 L Rental Income -25000 per month from 80 Lacs flat. ( No loan pending now) 1 cr term plan and 10 l mediclaim running Parental House -2.5 cr and Land -2.5 cr. My son is studying in second year of engineering. And my monthly hone expense is not more than 30000-35000 per month. Can I afford to retire ?
Ans: It’s commendable that you've accumulated a diverse portfolio with a clear retirement goal. Let's evaluate if your current portfolio aligns with a secure retirement.

Portfolio Review and Income Assessment
Based on your retirement aspirations, let’s consider each component of your portfolio and its potential to generate sustainable income:

Fixed Deposits (FD): Rs 22 lakh
FD interest can serve as a steady income source, though it typically yields lower returns, which may not keep up with inflation over the long term.

Mutual Funds (MF): Rs 22 lakh, with a SIP of Rs 33,000
MFs offer potential growth and help combat inflation. Continuing your SIPs could grow this corpus further, providing higher returns than fixed-income sources.

Gold: Rs 10 lakh
Gold adds stability and can be liquidated if needed. However, it might not be the best primary income source.

Employee Provident Fund (EPF): Rs 24 lakh and Gratuity Approx Rs 10 lakh
EPF and gratuity offer safe post-retirement funds. When you withdraw, they can be used as a source of regular income or reinvested for returns.

Equity Investments: Rs 10 lakh
Your equity investments add growth potential. Over time, this can be a crucial source to combat inflation.

Rental Income: Rs 25,000 per month
Rental income provides a consistent cash flow, covering a large portion of your monthly expenses. This income will be valuable post-retirement to meet regular needs.

Expense and Income Projection
With monthly expenses at Rs 30,000–35,000, and rental income already covering most of these costs, your current lifestyle is well supported. However, to retire comfortably, a buffer for healthcare, travel, and inflation is necessary.

Strategy for Retirement Readiness
Based on your assets and expected needs, here’s a recommended approach to secure a steady retirement income:

Mutual Fund Strategy
Continuing your SIPs for the next 2-3 years will help grow your corpus further. Consider moving part of the equity-based mutual funds into debt funds close to retirement to reduce risk while generating returns.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)
At retirement, you can initiate an SWP from your mutual fund corpus, providing a steady income. This strategy allows capital appreciation with controlled withdrawals, reducing the risk of prematurely depleting your funds.

Fixed Deposit Laddering
To maximise interest rates and ensure liquidity, consider a laddering strategy with your FDs. This will help meet emergency needs and take advantage of better rates.

Rental Income
Your rental income of Rs 25,000 is a reliable source. To protect it, ensure the property remains well-maintained and consider lease renewals with trusted tenants to maintain stability.

Contingency for Healthcare and Son’s Education
Health Insurance: Rs 10 lakh
Assess your current health cover, especially considering rising medical costs. A top-up or super top-up plan could add an extra layer of protection.

Son’s Education
Your son’s education may require additional funding. Any shortfall could be met by partial liquidation of non-core assets, like gold or FDs, if needed.

Estate and Legacy Planning
Your parental house and land provide substantial long-term security. Though not income-generating immediately, they offer future flexibility if liquidated or rented.

Final Insights
Your assets, income sources, and low monthly expenses indicate a strong readiness for retirement. With minor adjustments for healthcare and education, you can comfortably meet your goals. Continuing your current SIPs for the next few years and optimising your FD and MF corpus will help sustain your income post-retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  | Answer  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Jan 26, 2025

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10870 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 30, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2025Hindi
Money
Hello sir, I am 46 year old IT employee, having two kids (14 yrs old girl and 5 yrs old boy), earning 2.5 lakh take home salary per month. Currently I have around 29 lakh in stocks, 19 lakh in MF, 50 lakh in FD, 5 lakh in NPS, around 40 lakh in PF and will get 30 lakh from LIC on maturity in 2035. I live in my own apartment and have my own car (both are fully paid and loan free). I have around 7 lakh in SSY account of my daughter. My current expenses is around 1 lakh per month for daily routine, 30k per month in MF SIP, 30k per month in PF, 1.5 lakh per year in NPS, 40k per year in LIC, around 50K per month in education OD my kids. I have 50 lakh group term insurance and 8 lakh group health insurance cover from my employer. I am planning to increase 10% topup in SIP every year till I retire. Please suggest if I can retire at 55 yrs of age with some decent corpus assuming life expectancy of 80 yrs. regards
Ans: You have built a solid base over the years.
Your financial discipline truly stands out.
It reflects clarity and thoughtful planning.

At 46, with 9 years to retirement, your goal is realistic.
But early retirement at 55 needs careful and balanced execution.
Let us review your current position and give a complete 360° strategy.

? Understand Your Retirement Goal Clearly

– You plan to retire at 55.
– That gives 9 more earning years.
– You need to live from 55 till 80.
– That’s 25 retirement years without salary.

– So your investments must create enough income.
– It should handle inflation and emergencies too.
– You need to cover regular lifestyle and healthcare also.

– A structured retirement corpus is required.
– Current planning looks promising.
– But some parts need refinement and tightening.

? Evaluate Your Current Investment Position

– Rs.29 lakh is in stocks.
– Rs.19 lakh is in mutual funds.
– Rs.50 lakh is in FDs.
– Rs.5 lakh is in NPS.
– Rs.40 lakh in PF.
– Rs.30 lakh expected from LIC in 2035.

– Total corpus today is strong.
– Around Rs.1.73 crore is already parked.
– Plus, SIPs and PF contributions are ongoing.
– SSY and LIC maturity are future inflows.

– Still, active cash flow planning is needed.
– Growth and liquidity must be balanced well.

? Asset Allocation Requires Rebalancing

– Rs.50 lakh in FD is too much.
– FD returns are low and taxable.
– It won’t beat inflation in long run.

– You are still 9 years from retirement.
– Equity exposure should be higher.

– Your equity+mutual fund holding is around Rs.48 lakh.
– That is less than 50% of your net assets.

– Increase allocation to mutual funds slowly.
– Shift from FDs to equity hybrid or large-cap mutual funds.
– Do it in a phased way, not all at once.

– FDs can be kept for short-term needs only.
– Don’t make it main retirement tool.

? SIPs Are On Right Track – Add More Growth

– Rs.30k SIP per month is a good start.
– You plan to increase it by 10% yearly.
– That is very healthy and effective.

– Ensure you invest in actively managed mutual funds.
– Avoid index funds and ETFs.
– Index funds just follow market.
– They do not protect in downturns.

– Actively managed funds try to beat the index.
– Good fund managers make tactical shifts.
– This boosts long-term returns.

– Don’t choose direct plans.
– Direct plans lack guidance and rebalancing support.

– Regular plans via MFD with CFP give better monitoring.
– They offer behavioural coaching and re-alignment.

? LIC Policy Should Be Reassessed

– You will receive Rs.30 lakh in 2035.
– Check if this is a traditional endowment plan.
– If yes, then return is usually very low.

– These plans offer poor wealth creation.
– They are better replaced by mutual funds.

– Since maturity is near and payout is confirmed,
you may hold it till maturity.
– But don’t buy new LIC or ULIP plans.
– Keep investment and insurance separate.

? Children’s Education Needs Separate Planning

– Rs.50k monthly in kids' education loan is a key expense.
– This must be closed before retirement.

– You have SSY for your daughter.
– That is a good move for secured growth.

– However, plan higher education for both kids separately.
– Don’t mix this with retirement funds.

– Start parallel SIPs for children’s education.
– Use balanced and hybrid equity mutual funds.

– Track each child’s goal separately.
– You should not withdraw from retirement corpus for education.

? NPS Allocation Can Be Reviewed

– You invest Rs.1.5 lakh yearly in NPS.
– This gives tax benefit under Section 80CCD.
– However, NPS has restrictions at withdrawal.

– Partial amount is taxable on maturity.
– It also forces partial annuity purchase.

– You can continue investing for tax benefit.
– But don’t rely fully on NPS for retirement needs.
– Keep main focus on mutual funds and PF.

? Term and Medical Insurance Need Strengthening

– You have Rs.50 lakh group term cover.
– Also Rs.8 lakh group health insurance.
– These are offered by employer.

– But both are linked to your job.
– They stop once you retire or change jobs.

– You need independent term insurance till age 65–70.
– Consider Rs.1 crore term plan for your family’s safety.

– Also take separate family health insurance.
– Choose Rs.10–15 lakh base plan.
– Add top-up if needed.

– Health costs rise rapidly after 50.
– Don’t depend on group cover only.

? Emergency Fund Must Be Isolated

– Your expenses are Rs.1 lakh monthly.
– Build emergency fund of Rs.6–12 lakh.

– Use liquid or ultra-short debt mutual funds.
– Don’t park in savings account or FD.

– This gives better post-tax returns.
– Also gives liquidity when needed.

– Emergency fund is safety cushion.
– It should be kept separate from investments.

? PF Corpus Needs Goal Mapping

– Rs.40 lakh in PF is a strong base.
– You are also adding Rs.30k monthly.

– PF is a good tool for retirement.
– Safe and tax-free growth.

– Keep this corpus for post-retirement fixed income.
– Don’t use for short-term needs or loans.

– PF returns may drop in future.
– So, don’t depend only on PF.
– Supplement with equity mutual funds.

? Goal-Based Planning is Essential

– Retirement, children’s education, travel – all need planning.
– Create separate goals with timelines.

– Map every SIP to one goal.
– This keeps purpose and tracking clear.

– Don’t dip into long-term funds for short goals.
– That breaks compounding and weakens growth.

– Keep retirement fund untouched till 55.
– Rebalance it closer to retirement.

? Tax Efficiency in Future Withdrawals

– New mutual fund tax rules are important.
– Equity LTCG above Rs.1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.
– STCG is taxed at 20%.

– For debt funds, gains taxed as per income slab.

– Plan redemptions smartly after retirement.
– Spread them over years to lower tax impact.

– Take help from Certified Financial Planner for withdrawal strategy.
– Tax efficiency improves retirement sustainability.

? Real Estate and Gold Are Not Required

– You already have your house.
– There is no need for more real estate.

– Property gives low rental yield.
– It has poor liquidity and high tax on sale.

– Real estate is not ideal for early retirement.

– Gold is emotional and non-productive asset.
– It doesn’t create real long-term wealth.

– Limit gold to jewellery or small festive saving.
– Don’t count it in retirement planning.

? Finally

– You are in a strong financial position.
– Your income and savings discipline is inspiring.
– Rs.1.73 crore current investment gives a good start.
– But shift more from FD to mutual funds.
– Keep equity allocation higher till age 55.

– Increase SIP yearly and don’t skip any month.
– Don’t invest in index or direct plans.
– Use actively managed funds via CFP-MFD.
– Build separate SIPs for kids' education.
– Strengthen term and health insurance soon.
– Don’t rely only on employer cover.

– Keep emergency fund ready.
– Track progress every year.
– Rebalance funds at least once a year.
– You can retire at 55 with good preparation.
– Stay consistent, review, and adjust with time.
– Your goal is achievable with current momentum.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Dear Sir, I did my BTech from a normal engineering college not very famous. The teaching was not great and hence i did not study well. I tried my best to learn coding including all the technologies like html,css,javascript,react js,dba,php because i wanted to be a web developer But nothing seem to enter my head except html and css. I don't understand a language which has more complexities. Is it because of my lack of experience or not devoting enough time. I am not sure. I did many courses online and tried to do diplomas also abroad which i passed somehow. I recently joined android development course because i like apps but the teaching was so fast that i could not memorize anything. There was no time to even take notes down. During the course i did assignments and understood the code because i have to pass but after the course is over i tend to forget everything. I attempted a lot of interviews. Some of them i even got but could not perform well so they let me go. Now due to the AI booming and job markets in a bad shape i am re-thinking whether to keep studying or whether its just time waste. Since 3 years i am doing labour type of jobs which does not yield anything to me for survival and to pay my expenses. I have the quest to learn everything but as soon as i sit in front of the computer i listen to music or read something else. What should i do to stay more focused? What should i do to make myself believe confident. Is there still scope of IT in todays world? Kindly advise.
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Most people give up.
You didn’t.
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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2025Hindi
Relationship
My married ex still texts me for comfort. Because of him, I am unable to move on. He makes me feel guilty by saying he got married out of family pressure. His dad is a cardiac patient and mom is being treated for cancer. He comforts me by saying he will get separated soon and we will get married because he only loves me. We have been in a relationship for 14 years and despite everything we tried, his parents refused to accept me, so he chose to get married to someone who understands our situation. I don't know when he will separate from his wife. She knows about us too but she comes from a traditional family. She also confirmed there is no physical intimacy between them. I trust him, but is it worth losing my youth for him? Honestly, I am worried and very confused.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how difficult it is to let go of a relationship you have built from scratch, but is it really how you want to continue? It really seems to be going nowhere. His parents are already in bad health and he married someone else for their happiness. Does it seem like he will be able to leave her? So many people’s happiness and lives depend on this one decision. I think it’s about time you and your BF have a clear conversation about the same. If he can’t give a proper timeline, please try to understand his situation. But also make sure he understands yours and maybe rethink this equation. It really isn’t healthy. You deserve a love you can have wholly, and not just in pieces, and in the shadows.

Hope this helps

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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