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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7228 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 11, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 11, 2024Hindi
Money

I am 36 years old, 18 Lacs in the share market. 15 lacs in the Mutual funds and 27 Lac of home loan for 10 years at my home town and leaving in the metro city with 28k rent. In terms of dependent I have with my wife and 3 year old daughter. How can I plan my retirement?I do have saving scheme like Ssy and PPF in these invest is not appropriate or planned

Ans: Planning for retirement is a crucial step towards ensuring financial stability in your later years. You have a good foundation with investments in the share market and mutual funds, but a comprehensive plan will help you achieve your goals effectively. Let's dive into a detailed analysis of your current situation and develop a strategic retirement plan.

Understanding Your Current Financial Position
You are 36 years old, living in a metro city with your wife and a 3-year-old daughter. You have a home loan, pay rent, and have investments in shares and mutual funds.

Assets and Liabilities
Share Market Investments: Rs 18 lakhs
Mutual Funds: Rs 15 lakhs
Home Loan: Rs 27 lakhs (10-year tenure)
Monthly Rent: Rs 28,000
Monthly Expenses and Income
Considering your rent and other household expenses, it's essential to plan your cash flow efficiently. Let's assume your monthly household expenses, excluding rent, are Rs 40,000.

Dependents
You have your wife and daughter as dependents. Planning for their future needs, including your daughter's education and marriage, is vital.

Strategic Planning for Retirement
Setting Retirement Goals
Desired Retirement Age: Let’s assume you aim to retire at 60.
Post-Retirement Monthly Expenses: Considering inflation, your current Rs 40,000 expenses will increase. Planning for Rs 1 lakh monthly post-retirement is prudent.
Retirement Corpus: To sustain Rs 1 lakh monthly for 20-30 years, a significant corpus is needed. Let's aim for Rs 5-6 crores.
Evaluating Current Investments
Share Market Investments
Your Rs 18 lakhs in shares is a good start. However, stock investments are volatile. Diversifying into stable instruments will reduce risk.

Mutual Funds
Your Rs 15 lakhs in mutual funds should be reviewed for performance and diversification. Actively managed funds can potentially offer higher returns than passive index funds.

Home Loan
A Rs 27 lakh home loan is a significant liability. Paying it off early can save interest costs and reduce financial stress.

Developing a Detailed Plan
Emergency Fund
Establish an emergency fund covering 6-12 months of expenses. This fund should be in a liquid or savings account.

Emergency Fund Amount: Rs 5-6 lakhs
Location: Savings account or liquid mutual fund
Home Loan Repayment
Prioritize paying off the home loan. Reducing this debt will free up resources for other investments.

Extra EMI Payments: Consider making extra EMI payments to reduce the tenure and interest burden.
Refinance Options: Explore refinancing the loan at a lower interest rate.
Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
Continue or start SIPs in mutual funds. SIPs help in disciplined investing and rupee cost averaging.

Monthly SIP Amount: Allocate a portion of your income towards SIPs in equity and debt mutual funds.
Diversification: Ensure a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and debt funds.
Child's Education and Marriage Planning
Start a dedicated investment plan for your daughter's education and marriage.

Education Corpus: Estimate future education costs and start investing in child-specific plans or equity funds.
Marriage Corpus: Begin a parallel investment for marriage expenses.
Retirement Corpus Building
Aggressively build your retirement corpus through a combination of equity, mutual funds, and PPF.

Equity Investments: Continue investing in shares but diversify to reduce risk.
Mutual Funds: Increase SIP contributions and opt for a balanced mix of equity and debt funds.
PPF and Other Schemes: Continue investing in PPF for stable returns and tax benefits.
Review and Rebalance Portfolio
Regularly review your portfolio to ensure it aligns with your goals. Rebalance to maintain the desired asset allocation.

Calculations and Projections
Home Loan Repayment
Assuming an interest rate of 8% on your Rs 27 lakh home loan with a 10-year tenure:

Current EMI: Approx. Rs 32,830
Interest Outflow: Reducing the tenure through extra payments can significantly lower interest costs.
SIP and Mutual Funds
Assuming an average return of 10% from equity mutual funds:

Current Mutual Fund Value: Rs 15 lakhs
Monthly SIP: Rs 20,000
Future Value (24 years): Using compound interest formula, your SIPs can grow substantially.
Retirement Corpus Projection
To achieve a Rs 5-6 crore corpus in 24 years, you need a strategic investment plan. Assuming a mixed portfolio return of 10-12%:

Current Investments: Rs 33 lakhs (shares + mutual funds)
Annual Addition: Rs 2.4 lakhs (Rs 20,000 SIP)
Future Value: Your investments can potentially grow to meet your retirement goals.
Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds offer potential advantages over index funds:

Professional Management: Fund managers actively select stocks to outperform benchmarks.
Flexibility: They can adapt to market conditions, potentially reducing losses in downturns.
Higher Returns: With the right strategy, they can offer higher returns than passive funds.
Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct mutual funds have lower expense ratios but require more involvement:

Complexity: Investors must choose and manage funds themselves.
Time-Consuming: Keeping up with market trends and fund performance needs time.
Risk of Poor Choices: Without professional guidance, there’s a risk of poor investment decisions.
Importance of Professional Guidance
Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can provide:

Tailored Advice: CFPs offer personalized plans based on your goals and risk tolerance.
Regular Monitoring: They track your investments and suggest timely adjustments.
Comprehensive Planning: CFPs help with tax, retirement, and estate planning.
Additional Financial Considerations
Insurance
Ensure adequate life and health insurance coverage. This protects your family in case of unforeseen events.

Life Insurance: Opt for term insurance covering at least 10-15 times your annual income.
Health Insurance: A comprehensive health plan covers medical expenses and safeguards savings.
Tax Planning
Efficient tax planning can save money and enhance your investment corpus.

Tax-Saving Investments: Utilize Section 80C for investments in PPF, ELSS, and other schemes.
Deductions: Avail deductions for home loan interest under Section 24(b).
Final Insights
Your financial journey towards retirement requires careful planning and disciplined investing. By focusing on paying off your home loan, building an emergency fund, and investing in a diversified portfolio, you can achieve your retirement goals. Regular reviews and adjustments, along with professional guidance, will ensure you stay on track.

By following this comprehensive strategy, you can secure a comfortable retirement and provide for your family's future needs.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7228 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 03, 2024Hindi
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Hi i am 39 year old my in hand salary after tax is 51 lpm I have fixed deposit worth 80 lac ppf of 34 lac, I have own flat fully paid, mutual fund around 13 lac,10 lac emergency fund, my wife housewife and son is 3 year old, what can I do to plan my retirement my current yearly expense is around 9 lacs and I don't have any loan
Ans: Planning for retirement is crucial, and it's wonderful that you're thinking ahead. Let's create a comprehensive plan to ensure a comfortable and secure retirement for you and your family. I'll guide you through the steps and strategies needed, addressing various aspects of your financial situation.

Understanding Your Current Financial Situation
You have a strong financial foundation, which is great. Your current financial assets include:

Fixed Deposit: Rs. 80 lakh
PPF: Rs. 34 lakh
Mutual Funds: Rs. 13 lakh
Emergency Fund: Rs. 10 lakh
Fully Paid Flat
Your annual expenses are Rs. 9 lakh, and you have no loans. With these details in mind, we can create a solid retirement plan.

Setting Retirement Goals
First, let's set clear retirement goals. This includes determining the age you wish to retire, estimating your post-retirement expenses, and accounting for inflation.

Retirement Age: Let's assume you plan to retire at 60.
Post-Retirement Expenses: Estimating your expenses to increase with inflation, let's assume Rs. 12 lakh annually.
Your current expenses of Rs. 9 lakh will likely increase over time due to inflation. Planning for increased expenses ensures you won't fall short of funds during retirement.

Building a Retirement Corpus
To ensure a comfortable retirement, you need to build a substantial retirement corpus. Given your current financial assets and future goals, let's discuss how to achieve this.

Mutual Funds: A Key Investment
Mutual funds are a crucial part of your investment strategy. They offer diversification, professional management, and the potential for higher returns. Let's explore the categories of mutual funds and their benefits:

1. Equity Mutual Funds
Equity mutual funds invest in stocks. They have the potential for high returns but come with higher risk.

2. Debt Mutual Funds
Debt mutual funds invest in bonds and fixed income securities. They are safer but offer lower returns compared to equity funds.

3. Balanced or Hybrid Funds
These funds invest in both equity and debt, providing a balance of risk and return.

Advantages of Mutual Funds
Diversification: Mutual funds spread investments across various assets, reducing risk.
Professional Management: Experts manage your investments, aiming for the best returns.
Liquidity: You can easily buy or sell mutual fund units.
Compounding: Reinvesting returns can lead to significant growth over time.
Risk and Power of Compounding
Mutual funds come with market risks. However, long-term investments usually balance out short-term market fluctuations. The power of compounding significantly boosts your corpus over time. By reinvesting your returns, your money grows faster.

Disadvantages of Index Funds and Direct Funds
While index funds track market indices and come with lower fees, they lack the active management that can potentially outperform the market. Direct funds may save on commissions, but investing through a certified financial planner (CFP) provides valuable guidance and better fund selection.

Investing in Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds, chosen by an experienced CFP, often outperform index funds. A CFP’s expertise helps in selecting funds tailored to your financial goals and risk tolerance.

Structuring Your Investments
Now, let's structure your investments to build a robust retirement corpus.

Emergency Fund
You already have a Rs. 10 lakh emergency fund. Keep this in a liquid or ultra-short-term debt fund to ensure quick access.

Fixed Deposits and PPF
Your fixed deposit and PPF are safe investments. However, their returns may not outpace inflation in the long term. Consider moving a portion into higher-yielding investments like mutual funds.

Diversifying Your Mutual Fund Portfolio
Diversification is key. Spread your investments across various mutual funds:

Equity Funds: Allocate a significant portion to equity funds for higher returns.
Debt Funds: Invest in debt funds for stability and income.
Balanced Funds: Include balanced funds to mitigate risk while aiming for growth.
Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
Investing through SIPs ensures disciplined investing and rupee cost averaging. This strategy reduces the impact of market volatility.

Reviewing and Rebalancing Your Portfolio
Regularly review and rebalance your portfolio. This ensures your investments stay aligned with your goals and risk tolerance. A CFP can provide ongoing guidance and adjustments.

Tax Planning
Effective tax planning maximizes your returns. Utilize tax-saving instruments and plan withdrawals to minimize tax liabilities.

Insurance Coverage
Ensure you have adequate insurance coverage:

Life Insurance: Protect your family’s future with sufficient life insurance.
Health Insurance: Adequate health insurance covers medical emergencies without draining your savings.
Retirement Income Streams
Plan for multiple income streams during retirement:

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP): Use SWPs from mutual funds for regular income.
Dividends: Invest in dividend-paying funds or stocks.
Part-Time Work: Consider part-time work or consultancy for additional income.
Estate Planning
Estate planning ensures your assets are distributed as per your wishes. Prepare a will and consider trusts for efficient transfer of wealth.

Final Insights
Planning for retirement involves a multi-faceted approach. By diversifying your investments, utilizing mutual funds, and planning for tax efficiency, you can build a substantial retirement corpus. Regular reviews and adjustments with a CFP ensure you stay on track to achieve your retirement goals.

Conclusion
Planning your retirement requires careful consideration of various factors. By following the outlined strategies, you can ensure a comfortable and secure retirement for you and your family. Regularly consulting with a CFP will help you stay on track and make informed decisions.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7228 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 03, 2024Hindi
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Hi, I have 35 years old, my in salary is 19LPA in hand. I have a fixed deposit of 2 lakh, 15k sip, 2L invested in stock, 2lakh and 4 lakh emergency fund I have a 2 years old daughter, I don't have any loan. how to plan my retirement
Ans: You are 35 years old with a monthly salary of Rs 19 lakhs per annum in hand. You have a fixed deposit of Rs 2 lakh, a SIP of Rs 15,000, Rs 2 lakh invested in stocks, and a Rs 4 lakh emergency fund. You also have a 2-year-old daughter and no loans.

Evaluating Your Financial Goals
Your primary goal is to plan for retirement. This involves determining how much you need to retire comfortably and creating a plan to achieve that goal.

Setting Retirement Goals
Retirement Age: Decide when you want to retire. Let's assume at age 60.
Post-Retirement Expenses: Estimate your monthly expenses during retirement. Factor in inflation.
Emergency Fund
You already have an emergency fund of Rs 4 lakh. This is a good start. Ensure it covers at least 6-12 months of expenses.

Maintain Adequate Coverage: Regularly update your emergency fund as your expenses grow.
Fixed Deposit
Your Rs 2 lakh fixed deposit provides a safety net but offers low returns.

Consider Alternatives: Higher returns options like debt mutual funds for better growth.
SIP (Systematic Investment Plan)
Your Rs 15,000 SIP is a disciplined approach to investing.

Increase SIP: As your income grows, increase your SIP amount. Aim for at least 20-30% of your salary in investments.
Stock Investments
You have Rs 2 lakh invested in stocks.

Diversify Portfolio: Ensure your stock investments are diversified to reduce risk.
Regular Review: Monitor and review your portfolio regularly.
Retirement Corpus Calculation
Estimate the corpus needed for retirement based on your current lifestyle and inflation.

Online Calculators: Use retirement calculators for precise estimates.
Investment Options
Mutual Funds
Mutual funds can provide good returns over the long term. Consider a mix of equity and debt funds.

Equity Funds: For long-term growth.
Debt Funds: For stability and income.
Public Provident Fund (PPF)
PPF is a safe investment with tax benefits. It offers good returns over the long term.

Invest Regularly: Maximize your PPF contributions annually.
National Pension System (NPS)
NPS is a retirement-focused investment option with tax benefits.

Regular Contributions: Invest regularly for long-term growth and retirement corpus.
Child's Education Fund
Start planning for your daughter's education early.

Education SIP: Set up a separate SIP for your daughter's education fund.
Child Plans: Consider child education plans for specific goals.
Insurance
Ensure you have adequate life and health insurance coverage.

Life Insurance: Term insurance to cover financial liabilities.
Health Insurance: Adequate health coverage for the family.
Tax Planning
Optimize your tax savings through various investment options.

Tax-saving Instruments: Utilize PPF, ELSS, and NPS for tax benefits.
Creating a Diversified Portfolio
A well-diversified portfolio reduces risk and enhances returns.

Asset Allocation: Allocate assets across equity, debt, and alternative investments based on risk tolerance.
Suggested Allocation
Equity Funds: 60% for long-term growth.
Debt Funds: 20% for stability.
PPF/NPS: 20% for retirement and tax benefits.
Regular Monitoring and Review
Regularly review and adjust your investment portfolio to ensure it aligns with your goals.

Annual Reviews: Review your portfolio and make adjustments annually.
Consult CFP: Work with a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice.
Final Insights
Planning for retirement requires a disciplined and diversified approach. Increase your SIP, diversify investments, and utilize tax-saving instruments. Regularly review and adjust your portfolio to stay on track. Leverage the expertise of a Certified Financial Planner for optimal results.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Latest Questions
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 05, 2024Hindi
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I am 39 and married for 11 years now, my husband doesn't support me financially at all. My salary is more than him but I bought house my own and paying all EMIS, looking for all household expenses and also paying school fees and other expenses for my son. My husband looks after only his parents, spend all money on them. Earlier we used to live together in inlaws house but they have spending habits for luxury, cloths, food etc even though my husband earns very less and my father in law retired with no income they were not ready to compromise on their spending habits. Whatever they had received after their retirement they entirety spent on their daughters marriages with no money left. When I got married they asked for my salary and used to give them. Mine and my husband salary was not enough for them so they sold house without informing me, I insisted them to buy at least small house but did not agree and kept on spending money on their lavish life, foreign trips, food, cloths etc. also helped daughters to buy house, maintenance and their childrens study. But did not let their son live life as ask him to pay rent for their house, household and maintenance expenses and they spend their money on their own luxury. They asked for my salary even though they have money and just spending for luxury and not even thinking for our future. When I denied to give salary, they asked me leave their house and made me difficult to live with them doing harrasment and taunts so I decided to leave and buy new house.Now I am living with my son separately, when my husband came to know about my new house he came to stay with us by not even paying single rupee to me. I asked him several time for money he only pays one or two thousand saying I don't have money at all to give you. Not taking care of son, his studies, school fees, do not help me in anything. My in laws keep doing his brain wash against me so that he will not support me financially or anyway. He always listens to his parents and sisters. There is no husband wife relationship at all between us. Not sure how to deal with it.
Ans: First, recognize and honor the strength it has taken to come this far. Buying a home, raising your son, and managing the weight of these challenges on your own are significant accomplishments that reflect your resilience and determination. That said, a marriage is meant to be a partnership, and it’s clear that your husband’s lack of financial contribution and emotional support has created an imbalance that’s unsustainable.

It’s important to look at the patterns in your relationship with clarity. Your husband’s decisions seem to be heavily influenced by his family, and this loyalty, while not inherently wrong, appears to come at the expense of his commitment to you and your shared responsibilities. The fact that he contributes so little financially and emotionally while benefiting from your efforts shows a lack of fairness and respect in the relationship. His parents’ behavior and expectations have added further strain, undermining your marriage and creating an environment of resentment.

You may want to consider having a clear and honest conversation with your husband. Express how his actions—or lack thereof—are impacting you and your son. Frame the conversation not as a confrontation but as a plea for understanding and change. However, if he remains unwilling to acknowledge or address these issues, it’s worth reflecting on what staying in this relationship means for your emotional well-being and future.

Seeking professional support, such as individual counseling, can provide you with a safe space to explore your feelings, gain clarity, and develop strategies for managing this situation. A legal consultation might also be helpful to understand your rights and options, especially if you’re considering separation or seeking financial accountability from your husband for your son’s needs.

Above all, focus on what you need to feel secure, respected, and fulfilled—not just as a wife, but as a person. Your son is observing how you handle these challenges, and by prioritizing your well-being and standing up for fairness, you’re also modeling strength and self-respect for him. Whatever steps you decide to take, trust in your ability to make decisions that align with your dignity and values. You deserve a life where your efforts are met with partnership and mutual care.

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Kanchan Rai  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

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Hi i am 43 yrs old, working in a multination firm. Married with a kid who is 7. My relationship with my wife is not going good for some time now, the communication is only transactional. I dont know if she is seeing someone or not, but we feel detached from each other. Now i have developed some feelings at my work with a 24 yr old women, also she seems to be interested in me. But she is also trying to get back to her BF who is studying overseas. I am a bit lost here cause i am toyaly confused on wat to do?
Ans: Open communication with your wife can be incredibly valuable, even if it feels awkward or difficult. Sharing your feelings of detachment and asking her how she feels might provide clarity about where you both stand and whether there’s a willingness to work on rebuilding the connection. Counseling or therapy, either individually or as a couple, can also be a safe space to explore these issues further.

Regarding your feelings for the woman at work, it’s essential to approach this with caution. While the connection might feel exciting and fulfilling, it’s important to ask yourself whether pursuing it is truly in alignment with your values and long-term goals. She also appears to have unresolved feelings toward her boyfriend, which adds another layer of complexity. Relationships born from a place of emotional vulnerability often carry risks, and it’s worth reflecting on whether this is about genuine compatibility or an escape from current challenges.

Your child is also a significant factor to consider. Decisions about your personal relationships inevitably affect your family dynamics, and it’s worth reflecting on what stability and clarity mean for them at this stage in their life.

Take some time to focus on self-reflection. What do you truly want for yourself, your marriage, and your future? What steps can you take to address the current disconnection, whether through repair or a mutual decision to move forward separately? Acting from a place of clarity and integrity will help you feel more grounded and less conflicted about your path forward. You deserve fulfillment, but ensuring that it’s built on a foundation of honesty and thoughtfulness will bring lasting peace, not just temporary relief.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 04, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I’ve been holding onto a grudge against a friend who hurt me years ago. While I’ve tried to move on, the memories keep coming back, and I feel like it’s stopping me from fully trusting others. How can I let go of this resentment and stop it from affecting my present relationships?
Ans: Letting go of resentment begins with understanding that it’s not about forgetting what happened or excusing the other person’s actions. It’s about freeing yourself from the grip that pain has on your emotions and your ability to trust. Start by creating space to process the hurt. Reflect on what exactly about the situation caused the deepest wound—was it a betrayal, unmet expectations, or feeling disregarded? Sometimes clarity about the source of the pain makes it easier to start releasing it.

You might also want to examine the story you’ve been telling yourself about this hurt. Often, we replay painful memories as if to protect ourselves from being hurt again, but in doing so, we allow the past to shape how we approach the present. Try reframing the narrative, focusing not on what you lost but on how you’ve grown. You’ve survived this hurt, and it’s a testament to your resilience.

Forgiveness can also play a key role, not necessarily as an act for the other person, but as a gift to yourself. Forgiveness doesn’t mean rekindling the friendship or even directly addressing the person—it’s a way of releasing the hold they have on your emotions. You can write a letter to your friend expressing all your feelings and then decide whether to send it or simply let it be a personal act of closure.

When it comes to trusting others, remind yourself that the actions of one person don’t define everyone. Trust grows in small, consistent steps. Start by recognizing the people in your life now who have shown care and consistency, and allow yourself to open up gradually.

Healing isn’t a straight path, and memories might still surface from time to time. When they do, instead of resisting them, acknowledge them and remind yourself that they no longer have power over you. With patience and self-compassion, you can move forward, lighter and more open to the connections that await you. You deserve the freedom to trust and to live fully in the present.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Relationship
I am in my late 60s but still very fit and healthy whereas my wife has lost all the interest in physical intimacy. This has resulted me finding outlet outside my marriage in women half of my age. My girlfriend is a dentist and I am an epidemiologist. She insists that I leave my wife and move with her and eventually we would marry then. She thinks that there is no point in living in a relationship where we have lost interest in each other and are hardly getting physically intimate. Would appreciate your expert advice on this and whether I should continue this way or leave my wife for over 45 years and move with my girlfriend who is 25 years younger than me. We both love each other physically, mentally and intellectually. Thank you.
Ans: After 45 years of marriage, your relationship with your wife is likely built on more than just physical intimacy. A bond of that length often includes shared history, companionship, and mutual support. It’s understandable that the absence of physical intimacy can leave you feeling unfulfilled, but it’s also important to recognize that intimacy in a long-term marriage often evolves beyond physicality into emotional connection and companionship. Ask yourself what your marriage still brings to your life beyond the physical. Are there aspects of your relationship with your wife that you still value and cherish?

Your relationship with your girlfriend seems to fulfill needs that are unmet in your marriage—passion, intellectual connection, and emotional closeness. It’s natural to feel drawn to that, especially when you both feel aligned in multiple dimensions. However, leaving a marriage of such longevity and depth is a monumental decision, not just for you but also for your wife, family, and even your girlfriend. It's important to reflect on the potential consequences of this choice—not just how it could impact your own life, but the ripple effects it may have on others involved.

Before making a decision, consider engaging in open, honest communication with your wife. Share your feelings—not as blame but as a vulnerable expression of what you’re experiencing. Sometimes, long-standing relationships fall into patterns of distance because both partners have stopped discussing their needs openly. If she is willing, exploring counseling together could help both of you understand where you stand and whether there’s a path to rekindling connection, even if it’s not physical intimacy.

With your girlfriend, reflect on what she means to you and what you envision for a shared future. Love and compatibility are powerful forces, but they must be weighed against the potential impact of disrupting your current life. Ensure that this relationship is based on mutual respect and shared values beyond just passion, as relationships outside of marriage can sometimes magnify only the fulfilling aspects while masking potential challenges.

Ultimately, this is about what aligns with your deeper sense of self and integrity. Consider what will allow you to look back on this chapter of your life with peace and not regret. Balancing personal happiness with respect for the commitments you’ve made over the years is not easy, but taking the time to reflect deeply will help you arrive at a decision you can stand by. Whatever choice you make, do so with honesty, compassion, and a clear understanding of its implications.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 06, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Whenever I face rejection or criticism, I take it very personally and find it hard to bounce back. It affects not just my relationships but also my career. How can I fix this? And trust people who really mean well?
Ans: When we take rejection or criticism personally, it’s often because we tie our self-worth to external validation. Someone’s approval or opinion can start to feel like a measure of who we are, but it’s not. No one moment, person, or comment defines you. Start by reminding yourself that rejection or criticism, as painful as it may be, is not a reflection of your entire being—it’s just one perspective or one moment in time.

Learning to trust people who mean well begins with trusting yourself. When you believe in your own worth, you’ll find it easier to separate genuine feedback from unkind criticism. Practice asking yourself, “Is this coming from someone who truly cares about me, or is this more about their perspective or mood?” When feedback feels harsh, take a step back and evaluate its intent and validity. Not all criticism is meant to hurt; some can help you grow, but you don’t have to accept every opinion as truth.

Building resilience starts with how you treat yourself in those low moments. Instead of replaying the rejection or criticism in your mind, focus on self-compassion. Speak to yourself as you would to a close friend—gently, with kindness and encouragement. Remind yourself of your strengths and accomplishments, no matter how small they might feel in that moment.

It’s also helpful to put things into perspective. Rejection or criticism often feels larger than it is because we let it define us in that instant. Ask yourself, “Will this matter a year from now?” or “What can I learn from this?” Shifting from a place of hurt to a place of curiosity can ease the sting and help you move forward.

Finally, trust isn’t built overnight, either with yourself or others. Start by observing the patterns of those who support you consistently. Over time, you’ll learn who truly has your back, and you’ll feel more confident in letting their words and actions hold weight in your life.

This is a process, and it’s okay if it takes time. You’re not alone in feeling this way, and by practicing self-compassion, setting boundaries, and leaning on those who show genuine care, you’ll gradually strengthen your resilience and ability to trust. You’re already taking the first step, and that’s worth celebrating.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 06, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I'm caught up in a very difficult situation. I had met a Woman through Arranged Marriage Platform, while we both were getting along quite well with each other, I told her that I'm Virgin & asked her about her Past Relationship(s) if any, she denied categorically. We got Engaged, last month (in November) & our Wedding is scheduled next Month (January). Preparations are going on, including Distribution of Invitation cards. A few days ago, a Guy contacted me, claiming to be my Fiancee's Ex Boyfriend. Initially, I didn't take him seriously as I trusted my Fiancee. But then he showed me some Photos & Videos of their Intimate Moments (as it was apparent from the Videos, she seemed to be conscious & fully aware that their intimate moments are being recorded & some of the Photos were Nude/Semi-Nude Selfies, which she'd taken & shared with her ex Boyfriend, by herself... but she had not consented to share them with anyone else). I was Shocked. The Ex Boyfriend Reassured me that he'd also moved on from her & wouldn't bother her after her Marriage, but he was feeling bitter that she'd Dumped him to Marry me & just wanted to make me aware of what kind of Woman I'd be Marrying. I confronted my Fiancee over a Phone Call & asked her to meet me personally, as there were many Questions disturbing my Heart & Mind and I wanted to demand an Explanation from her. But she refused to meet up with me & wouldn't even discuss anything related her Relationship History on Phone Call/Video Call or WhatsApp Chat. She just kept telling me that it was all in her 'Past' & Promised me that after we both get Married, she'd be a Faithful Wife, Loyal to me. I want to have an Open-Heart conversation with her to Re-evaluate our Relationship before taking any big decision further. But, since she's bluntly Refusing to open up & discuss anything about her Past with me, I am losing Trust in her. Now I am in Dilemma, whether I should blindly Trust her & go ahead with the Marriage as Planned or shall discuss the matter with our Parents & get the Marriage Cancelled, to avoid taking such a Big Risk?
Ans: At this moment, it is essential to consider what you need for your own peace of mind. If you cannot trust her fully or feel uneasy without clarity, it is important to address those feelings before committing to marriage. It is not selfish to seek answers or reassurances when your heart and mind are in turmoil. At the same time, be mindful of your approach, as accusations or blame can shut down any chance of constructive communication.

If she continues to avoid the conversation, involving both families might be a reasonable step. This is not about blaming or shaming anyone but about ensuring that both of you enter into marriage with mutual trust and respect. Marriage is a union of not just two individuals but also their values, emotions, and expectations. Without addressing these concerns now, the unresolved doubts could seep into your relationship later and cause greater harm.

It’s also worth reflecting on what you need from your partner to move forward. If her commitment to being loyal and faithful now feels insufficient because of her refusal to engage in an open dialogue, that’s valid. Trust cannot thrive where communication falters. If she can assure you of her devotion and you feel you can let go of her past, there’s a path forward. But if doubts linger and trust remains elusive, stepping back to reassess might be the wiser decision, even if it’s painful in the short term.

Whatever choice you make, be gentle with yourself. This is an emotionally taxing situation, and it’s okay to take time to process everything. Listen to your heart, but also give weight to your instincts—they’re often our clearest guides in moments of uncertainty.

With understanding and strength,

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Relationship
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Relationship
Hello Ma'am. I am unwilling to disclose my name. I come from a nuclear family based in Kolkata. I am in a very painful situation and I need your suggestion earnestly. The problem arises with my father. He is 66 , retired and a stay at home dad. He has severe anger issues, is demanding and controlling and often tells certain things verbally that are very traumatic for me. My hands and legs tremble and my heart beats rapidly when ever we have an argument as I am a peace loving person. Of late I have realised that I prefer to maintain distance from him . In all honesty I respect him but my love for him has long gone. My mother is a very demure person and is a stay at home mom. In order to not make my father angry or agitated by any means and to maintain peace in the house, she prefers to do what he prefers. I love my mother dearly but my father calls us a bunch of liars and is agitated that I support my mother. Even though I earn, I am in no position to leave my family/ house and shift elsewhere because I respect my mother's will. But I am traumatized and severely in mental agony. I can neither show my anguish nor express my situation to anyone for fear of being misunderstood. I am often asked to remain silent and not talk back to my father but sometimes the words are unbearable. He financially supports our family and you wouldn't believe if I told you that he has a completely different side when he is not in one of his' moods '. But Ma'am, does being the head of the family means to step over others and do what you feel like, irrespective of what the other members in your family feel? Additionally talking or communication with him also fails because he threatens to leave the house or just pushes us away. Even when I am writing this tears are streaming down my face. I am slowly becoming a shell of myself and am scared. Am I being selfish? Am I missing out something? I am so so tired of adjusting and compromising. I believe I have never ever written such a heart felt message. Can you help me out? Can you tell me how things can be resolved? Regards MR
Ans: From what you’ve shared, your father seems to be wrestling with his own frustrations, using control and anger as tools to manage his environment. This does not make it right, nor does it excuse the pain he causes. But understanding that his behavior may stem from internal struggles might help you view the situation with some compassion, even if from a distance.

Your love and respect for your mother shine through your words, and it’s clear that her well-being is a priority for you. The way you support her is a testament to your strength and kindness. But I also sense that her coping mechanism—complying with your father to maintain peace—might unintentionally place an additional burden on you. It’s as though you’re not only protecting yourself but also shielding her, which is an immense responsibility.

You are not alone in feeling conflicted about standing up to your father. It’s not just about his words; it’s about the power dynamics and the emotional weight he holds in the family. His “other side”—the moments when he is kind or approachable—makes it even harder to reconcile the anger and trauma he causes. This duality often creates confusion and guilt, leaving you wondering if you’re overreacting or misjudging him.

What’s most important right now is preserving your emotional well-being. It’s okay to create boundaries, even if they are small and subtle. For instance, when you sense an argument brewing, stepping away or finding a reason to leave the room can help you avoid escalating the situation. If direct communication with him fails, sometimes maintaining emotional distance is the only way to protect yourself.

I also encourage you to find someone you trust to talk to—a counselor, a friend, or even a support group. Sharing your pain with someone who can listen without judgment can lighten your load and help you feel less alone. Writing, as you’ve done here, is also a powerful outlet. Keep journaling—it can provide clarity and a sense of release.

You’ve asked if being the head of the family means stepping over others. The simple answer is no. True leadership in a family should come from love, mutual respect, and understanding. When it turns into control or fear, it becomes harmful. Your father’s actions do not reflect a failure on your part or your family’s; they reflect his own struggles with how to express himself and manage his emotions.

Finally, give yourself permission to feel tired. You are human, and this constant state of tension would drain anyone. But even in your exhaustion, remember this: you are brave, resilient, and full of love for your family. There is no shame in wanting peace, and there is no shame in seeking help to find it.

With heartfelt wishes for your healing and happiness,

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Relationship
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7228 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Money
My age is 48 and iam earning 2 lacs per month and rental income is 25k My emi home.loa. is.41000 loan for next 20 years Car loan emi is 16000 for average 7 years Fd i have around 30 lacs Ppf 5 lacs I have sip in equity for 15000.per.month mf is 3.90.lacs today. Ppf i have 3 lacs I have 2 kids daughter is 18 and son is 10 yrs. I have health insurance 15 lacs Term.insurance 30 lacs I have private job. Planning to work til 58. Pleaee advice on investments, debts etc..
Ans: You have a stable income, disciplined savings, and manageable loans. Planning for the next 10 years with a focus on debt reduction, investments, and child education is critical.

Current Income and Expenses
1. Monthly Income and Commitments

Salary: Rs. 2,00,000
Rental Income: Rs. 25,000
Home Loan EMI: Rs. 41,000
Car Loan EMI: Rs. 16,000
2. Savings Overview

FD: Rs. 30 Lakhs
PPF: Rs. 5 Lakhs (including Rs. 3 Lakhs new)
SIP in Mutual Funds: Rs. 15,000 monthly, current corpus Rs. 3.9 Lakhs
Goals Assessment
1. Child Education

Your daughter (18 years) will need higher education support soon.

Start estimating costs and align investments accordingly.

Your son (10 years) has 7-8 years for higher education planning.

2. Retirement Planning

You plan to retire at 58 years.
Your income will stop, but expenses and goals like child marriage will remain.
3. Debt Management

Home Loan EMI is Rs. 41,000 for 20 years, requiring long-term commitment.
Car Loan EMI is Rs. 16,000 for the next 7 years, increasing short-term outflow.
Recommendations for Investment
1. Mutual Funds for Long-Term Growth

Increase SIPs to Rs. 25,000 monthly for a diversified equity mutual fund portfolio.
Include large-cap, flexi-cap, and mid-cap funds for balanced growth.
Ensure you invest through a Certified Financial Planner for professional advice.
2. Debt Mutual Funds for Stability

Shift a portion of FD to debt mutual funds for better post-tax returns.
Ensure at least 20% of your portfolio is in stable debt funds.
3. PPF Contributions

Continue PPF contributions for tax-saving benefits and risk-free returns.
Invest up to Rs. 1.5 Lakhs annually to utilise the full tax exemption.
Debt Management Strategies
1. Accelerate Home Loan Repayment

Use surplus income or maturing FDs to prepay the home loan.
Reducing tenure lowers overall interest outgo significantly.
2. Reassess Car Loan

Evaluate if car loan can be repaid earlier using your FDs.
This will free Rs. 16,000 monthly for investment or other priorities.
Child Education Planning
1. Create a Separate Education Fund

Start SIPs in hybrid or balanced advantage mutual funds for your daughter’s education.
For your son, invest in mid-cap and flexi-cap mutual funds for long-term growth.
2. Use Debt Funds for Near-Term Needs

For education expenses in the next 2-3 years, use debt mutual funds or FDs.
Avoid equity funds for short-term needs due to market volatility.
Insurance Review
1. Health Insurance

Your health cover of Rs. 15 Lakhs is good.
Add a super top-up policy to increase coverage to Rs. 25-30 Lakhs.
2. Term Insurance

Current term cover of Rs. 30 Lakhs may be insufficient.
Increase it to Rs. 1 Crore to protect your family’s financial future.
Tax Efficiency Planning
1. Optimise Deductions

Use the full Rs. 1.5 Lakhs limit under Section 80C through PPF and ELSS.
Claim home loan interest deductions under Section 24(b).
2. Plan Mutual Fund Redemptions

Be mindful of the new mutual fund capital gains tax rules.
Plan redemptions strategically to minimise tax liability.
Final Insights
Your financial foundation is strong, but you must focus on efficient planning. Prioritise debt reduction, increase SIP contributions, and optimise your portfolio. Separate education funds and ensure adequate insurance coverage. With these steps, you can achieve financial freedom by 58 years.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1372 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 06, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7228 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

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Money
Hello sir. Currently I am 35 years old. I have just started investing in mutual funds. (a) parag parekh flexi cap - 7500/- per month (B) tata small cap fund -2500/- per month (C) mirae asset ELLS tax saver -5000/- (D) pGIM india mid cap opp. Fund -5000/- (E) quant infrastructure fund-3500/- (F) quant small cap fund -4000/- (G) qyant active fund -3500/- (H) quant absolute fund-5000/- Total i am investing 36000/- per month. I want to get 2 crore till 2035. Additionally i want to invest 1 lakh per annum So my questions is AREA THESE MUTUAL FUNDS ARE OK or I should change any fund. And where should I invest this additional 1 lkh rupee per annum...
Ans: Your commitment to investing Rs. 36,000 monthly at age 35 is admirable. The addition of Rs. 1 lakh annually indicates a strong focus on wealth creation. Let us analyse your portfolio and suggest improvements.

Portfolio Review
Flexi-Cap Fund (Rs. 7,500)
Flexi-cap funds provide the flexibility to invest across market capitalisations.
This flexibility ensures adaptability to changing market trends.
Retaining this allocation adds balance to your portfolio.
Small-Cap Funds (Rs. 2,500 and Rs. 4,000)
Small-cap funds are high-risk, high-reward investments.
Over a long horizon, they can deliver superior growth but may experience volatility.
Retain small-cap allocation but avoid excessive exposure to manage risks.
ELSS Tax Saver Fund (Rs. 5,000)
ELSS funds provide tax benefits under Section 80C with a 3-year lock-in.
They are a great tool for long-term wealth creation and tax planning.
Continue this SIP, as it aligns with your goals and tax-saving needs.
Mid-Cap Fund (Rs. 5,000)
Mid-cap funds strike a balance between growth and stability.
They are ideal for long-term investors with moderate risk tolerance.
Retain this allocation, as it complements your portfolio.
Infrastructure Fund (Rs. 3,500)
Infrastructure funds focus on the infrastructure sector.
These funds are concentrated and depend heavily on sectoral performance.
Consider reducing or reallocating this amount to more diversified funds.
Quant Small Cap and Active Funds (Rs. 3,500 each)
Having multiple funds in the same category can lead to overlap.
Consolidating funds can simplify management and improve portfolio efficiency.
Quant Absolute Fund (Rs. 5,000)
This fund's balanced approach offers exposure to equity and debt.
Retain this allocation, as it can provide stability during market corrections.
Suggestions for Portfolio Improvement
Simplify Your Portfolio
Holding too many funds increases overlap and complexity.
Retain one well-performing small-cap and multi-cap fund each.
Avoid over-diversification, which can dilute returns.
Focus on Core Categories
Stick to diversified categories like flexi-cap, mid-cap, and multi-cap funds.
These funds balance risk and reward effectively over the long term.
Reduce Sector-Specific Allocation
Infrastructure funds are risky due to their dependency on economic cycles.
Consider reallocating this amount to diversified equity funds.
Monitor Performance Annually
Review each fund’s performance over a 3-5 year period.
Replace consistently underperforming funds with better options.
Additional Rs. 1 Lakh Investment
Consider Balanced Approach
Divide Rs. 1 lakh between equity and debt for diversification.
Equity funds for growth and debt instruments for stability.
Allocate to Equity Funds
Invest in existing funds with proven long-term performance.
This will enhance the power of compounding in your portfolio.
Explore Debt Mutual Funds
Debt funds reduce portfolio volatility and offer predictable returns.
They are ideal for managing short-term goals or risk diversification.
Emergency Fund Allocation
Use part of this amount to build or enhance your emergency fund.
An emergency fund should cover 6–12 months of expenses.
Achieving Rs. 2 Crore Goal
SIP Continuation
Your Rs. 36,000 monthly SIP is aligned with your Rs. 2 crore target.
Consistency is key to achieving long-term goals.
Incremental Investments
Increase SIP amounts periodically with income growth.
This will help bridge any shortfall and accelerate corpus growth.
Avoid Frequent Changes
Stick to your strategy and avoid impulsive changes during market volatility.
A disciplined approach ensures better results over time.
Taxation Awareness
Gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.
Plan withdrawals accordingly to minimise tax impact.
Final Insights
Your portfolio is well-structured but needs simplification to improve efficiency. Retain core funds, reduce sectoral exposure, and reallocate overlapping categories. Use the additional Rs. 1 lakh for equity and debt allocation to enhance diversification. Stay disciplined, monitor performance, and increase SIPs periodically to achieve your Rs. 2 crore goal by 2035.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

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