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32-Year-Old With 3.5 Lakhs Seeks Investment Advice for Retirement

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7014 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 04, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Santosujit Question by Santosujit on Aug 17, 2024Hindi
Money

Hi I have 3.5 lakhs to invest for retirement. I am 41. Could you pls suggest some fund

Ans: Retirement planning is crucial. It provides financial security in your non-working years. At 41, you still have a significant time horizon to grow your wealth. It's an opportune time to make wise investment decisions to ensure a comfortable retirement. Your investment strategy should focus on building a strong portfolio that balances growth and stability.

Importance of Actively Managed Funds
Given your time horizon, investing in actively managed funds can be beneficial. These funds are handled by professional fund managers who aim to outperform the market. While index funds are often highlighted for their low costs, they merely mimic the market's performance. They do not offer the potential for higher returns that actively managed funds can provide. This difference can be crucial in the long run.

Actively managed funds also allow flexibility in changing market conditions. The fund manager can make decisions based on market trends, economic outlook, and company-specific developments. This active approach can help in mitigating risks and enhancing returns over time.

Why Avoid Direct Funds
While direct mutual funds have lower expense ratios compared to regular funds, they may not always be the best choice for everyone. Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) offers several advantages.

Expert Guidance: A CFP with a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) credential can provide personalized advice. They can help tailor your portfolio to match your risk appetite, financial goals, and investment horizon.

Monitoring and Rebalancing: Regular investments through an MFD ensure that your portfolio is monitored and rebalanced periodically. This service is crucial for maintaining the right asset allocation over time.

Emotional Support: In volatile markets, a CFP can provide the necessary emotional support and prevent you from making impulsive decisions that could hurt your long-term goals.

Holistic Financial Planning: Investing through a CFP ensures that your investment strategy is aligned with your overall financial plan, considering aspects like tax planning, insurance, and retirement needs.

Asset Allocation Strategy
An effective asset allocation strategy is essential for retirement planning. With Rs 3.5 lakhs at your disposal, here’s a suggested approach:

Equity Funds (60%-70%): A significant portion of your investment should go into equity funds. They offer higher growth potential, especially over the long term. Opt for a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds to diversify your risk across different market segments.

Debt Funds (20%-30%): Debt funds provide stability to your portfolio. They are less volatile compared to equities and offer steady returns. Investing in debt funds can protect your capital during market downturns.

Hybrid Funds (10%-20%): Hybrid funds combine the benefits of both equity and debt. They can be a good option if you prefer a balanced approach. These funds dynamically allocate assets based on market conditions, offering growth with reduced volatility.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) Option
Although you have a lump sum of Rs 3.5 lakhs to invest, it may be wise to consider the SIP route. SIPs allow you to invest a fixed amount regularly, taking advantage of rupee cost averaging. This strategy can be particularly effective in volatile markets, as it averages out the purchase price of your investments.

Starting a SIP with a portion of your Rs 3.5 lakhs can ensure disciplined investing. You can allocate the rest to an emergency fund or short-term debt instruments to maintain liquidity.

Portfolio Diversification
Diversification is a key element in reducing risk. Spreading your investments across different asset classes, sectors, and geographies can minimize the impact of any one underperforming asset. Here’s how you can diversify your portfolio:

Equity Diversification: Invest in different sectors such as technology, healthcare, and finance. This spreads risk across industries, which can react differently to economic changes.

Debt Diversification: Choose a mix of short-term, medium-term, and long-term debt funds. This approach ensures that you benefit from different interest rate cycles.

Geographical Diversification: Consider investing in funds that have exposure to international markets. This provides a hedge against domestic market volatility.

Risk Assessment and Management
Understanding your risk tolerance is vital. At 41, you might be inclined towards moderate to aggressive growth, but it’s important to assess your comfort with market fluctuations.

Equity Risk: Equity funds come with higher risk but also offer higher returns. Ensure you’re comfortable with potential short-term losses for long-term gains.

Debt Risk: Debt funds are generally safer but can be affected by interest rate changes and credit risks. Opt for funds with high credit quality to reduce this risk.

Market Volatility: Diversification and a long-term investment horizon can help mitigate market volatility. Avoid frequent portfolio changes based on short-term market movements.

Regular Portfolio Review
Retirement planning is not a one-time task. It requires regular monitoring and review. Over time, your risk tolerance, financial goals, and market conditions may change. Regular reviews ensure your portfolio remains aligned with your retirement objectives.

Annual Review: Conduct a detailed review of your portfolio annually. Assess the performance of each fund, and make necessary adjustments based on your current financial situation and market outlook.

Rebalancing: Rebalancing involves adjusting your portfolio to maintain your desired asset allocation. This is particularly important after significant market movements, where equities might outperform or underperform other assets.

Life Events: Major life events, such as a job change, marriage, or a new child, may require adjustments to your investment strategy. Ensure your portfolio reflects these changes.

Emergency Fund Consideration
Before locking away your Rs 3.5 lakhs entirely into long-term investments, consider your emergency fund. An emergency fund is a financial safety net that should cover at least 6-12 months of living expenses.

Liquidity: Keep a portion of your investment in liquid funds or short-term debt funds. These instruments provide easy access to cash in case of emergencies without significantly affecting your returns.

Avoid Premature Withdrawals: Having an emergency fund ensures that you don’t have to dip into your retirement savings for unforeseen expenses. This protects your long-term financial goals.

Retirement Corpus Estimation
It’s essential to have a clear estimate of the retirement corpus you need. Factors like inflation, lifestyle changes, and life expectancy should be considered while estimating your corpus.

Inflation Impact: Inflation reduces the purchasing power of your money over time. Your retirement corpus should account for inflation to maintain your lifestyle in your golden years.

Life Expectancy: With increasing life expectancy, you might need to plan for a retirement period of 20-30 years. Ensure your corpus can sustain your expenses throughout this period.

Lifestyle Considerations: Consider the lifestyle you wish to maintain post-retirement. Factor in any planned expenditures like travel, hobbies, or healthcare costs. This will help you arrive at a more accurate corpus requirement.

Aligning Retirement Goals with Family Needs
Your retirement planning should align with your family’s needs. Whether it’s funding your children’s education or supporting your spouse, ensure these aspects are integrated into your financial plan.

Education Funding: If you have children, their education costs could be significant. Ensure that your retirement plan accounts for these expenses, either through separate investments or within your retirement corpus.

Spousal Security: If your spouse is not working, consider allocating part of your retirement savings towards their future security. Joint investments and insurance can help ensure that their needs are met even in your absence.

Role of Insurance in Retirement Planning
Insurance is a crucial component of retirement planning. It provides financial protection for your family and safeguards your retirement corpus.

Life Insurance: Ensure you have adequate life insurance coverage to protect your family. If you hold any investment-cum-insurance policies, assess their performance. Surrender underperforming policies and reinvest the proceeds in mutual funds for better growth.

Health Insurance: Healthcare costs can be significant in retirement. Ensure you have comprehensive health insurance coverage to protect your savings from unforeseen medical expenses. Consider policies with adequate sum insured and critical illness cover.

Critical Illness and Disability Cover: These covers are essential, especially as you age. They provide a lump sum payout in case of a critical illness or disability, ensuring that your retirement corpus is not depleted.

Final Insights
Investing Rs 3.5 lakhs at the age of 41 is a smart move. You have enough time to grow this investment into a substantial retirement corpus. Focus on a diversified portfolio with a mix of equity, debt, and hybrid funds. Actively managed funds can provide better growth potential than passive index funds, especially when managed by a Certified Financial Planner.

Remember to periodically review and adjust your portfolio as needed. Stay disciplined, and avoid premature withdrawals to maximize your retirement savings. Align your retirement plan with your family’s needs, and ensure you have adequate insurance coverage to protect your assets. This comprehensive approach will help you achieve a comfortable and financially secure retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7014 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 25, 2024

Money
I am 50 years old i have no savings Now i will be able to save 1 lakhs every month. But i am afraid to committed sip But i can. I want 3 crore in five years. I want investment in mutual fund. What kind of fund you suggested Thanks
Ans: At 50, starting with no savings can be daunting. But saving Rs 1 lakh every month is commendable. Achieving Rs 3 crore in 5 years is ambitious. It requires careful planning and the right investment strategy. Let’s explore how mutual funds can help you reach this goal, and address your concerns about SIPs.

Your Financial Goal: Understanding the Challenge
Rs 3 crore in 5 years is a significant target. It’s essential to understand what this goal entails.

High Returns Needed: You need high returns to reach Rs 3 crore in 5 years.
Investment Discipline: Consistent saving and investing are crucial to success.
Why This is Important: Achieving this goal requires understanding the required returns and commitment to regular investing.

Evaluating Your Risk Appetite
At 50, your risk tolerance might be lower than someone younger. But, aiming for Rs 3 crore in 5 years requires exposure to higher returns and, consequently, higher risks.

Assess Your Comfort: How comfortable are you with market ups and downs?
Balancing Act: Finding the right balance between high returns and risk is key.
Why This Matters: Your risk appetite will guide your choice of mutual funds and investment strategies.

Why Mutual Funds?
Mutual funds offer a diverse range of investment options, catering to different risk appetites and financial goals.

Diverse Choices: Equity funds, debt funds, and balanced funds are available.
Professional Management: Managed by experienced fund managers who aim to maximize returns.
Why Mutual Funds Work: They provide access to a broad range of assets and professional management, which is crucial for achieving high returns.

Types of Mutual Funds to Consider
Given your goal and the need for significant growth, here’s a look at different types of mutual funds and their suitability.

1. Equity Mutual Funds
Equity funds invest in stocks and aim for high growth. They are suitable for long-term goals but come with higher volatility.

Growth Potential: Can offer high returns if the market performs well.
Market Risk: More volatile and can fluctuate significantly in the short term.
Why Consider This? They have the potential to deliver the high returns needed for your goal but are riskier.

2. Balanced or Hybrid Funds
Balanced funds invest in both equities and debt. They aim to provide growth with moderate risk.

Balanced Growth: Offers exposure to equities for growth and debt for stability.
Lower Volatility: Less volatile than pure equity funds.
Why Consider This? They offer a balance between risk and return, which might suit your risk tolerance better.

3. Aggressive Hybrid Funds
Aggressive hybrid funds allocate a higher portion to equities but include some debt for cushioning.

Growth with Cushion: Provides higher growth potential with some stability.
Moderate Risk: Balances between aggressive growth and safety.
Why Consider This? They offer a good mix of growth potential and risk management.

Understanding SIPs: Systematic Investment Plans
You mentioned being hesitant about committing to SIPs. Let’s explore why SIPs could be beneficial and address your concerns.

Benefits of SIPs
SIPs allow you to invest a fixed amount in mutual funds regularly, usually monthly. They offer several advantages:

Disciplined Investing: Helps inculcate a habit of regular saving and investing.
Rupee Cost Averaging: Buys more units when prices are low and fewer when high, averaging out the cost.
Compounding Benefits: Regular investments grow significantly over time due to compounding.
Why SIPs are Great: They automate investing, reduce the impact of market volatility, and leverage the power of compounding.

Addressing SIP Concerns
Your hesitation about SIPs is understandable. Here’s why SIPs might still be worth considering:

Flexibility: You can start, stop, or modify SIPs at any time without penalties.
No Lump Sum Commitment: SIPs avoid the risk of investing a large amount at the wrong time.
Market Volatility Management: SIPs smooth out the impact of market volatility over time.
Why You Should Reconsider SIPs: They offer flexibility, lower risk of timing the market, and provide a disciplined approach to investing.

Crafting Your Investment Plan
Given your goal and considerations, let’s craft a plan to help you achieve Rs 3 crore in 5 years. This plan will focus on a mix of mutual funds to balance growth potential and risk.

1. Diversify Your Portfolio
Investing in a mix of funds can help balance risk and returns. Here’s how you can diversify:

Equity Funds: Allocate a significant portion to equity funds for high growth potential.
Balanced Funds: Include balanced funds to moderate risk and provide stability.
Aggressive Hybrid Funds: These can be a good middle ground, offering higher returns with some risk management.
Why Diversification is Key: It reduces risk by spreading your investments across different types of assets.

2. Start with SIPs and Consider Lump Sum Investments
Given the large monthly savings, combining SIPs with occasional lump sum investments could be effective.

SIP Strategy: Start SIPs in equity and balanced funds to build wealth steadily.
Lump Sum Strategy: Invest lump sums when markets dip to take advantage of lower prices.
Why This Combination Works: SIPs provide regular investment discipline, while lump sums can capitalize on market opportunities.

3. Monitor and Adjust Your Portfolio
Regular monitoring and adjusting your portfolio are essential to stay on track.

Review Performance: Check fund performance and rebalance if needed.
Adjust Allocation: Shift more into balanced or debt funds as you approach your goal to reduce risk.
Why This is Important: Markets and fund performances change, so regular review helps keep your investments aligned with your goals.

Managing Risks and Expectations
Investing for high returns comes with risks. Here’s how to manage them and set realistic expectations.

1. Understand Market Volatility
High returns come with higher volatility. Be prepared for market ups and downs.

Stay Invested: Don’t panic and withdraw during market drops.
Long-Term Perspective: Focus on your 5-year goal rather than short-term fluctuations.
Why This Matters: Staying invested through market cycles is crucial to achieving long-term growth.

2. Be Realistic About Returns
While aiming for high returns, it’s essential to set realistic expectations.

Market Performance: Understand that markets can underperform, and returns are not guaranteed.
Diversification Benefits: Diversifying can reduce the impact of poor performance in one area.
Why This is Important: Being realistic helps manage expectations and reduces the stress of investing.

Final Insights
Reaching Rs 3 crore in 5 years is ambitious but achievable with a disciplined approach. Here’s a quick recap of your plan:

Understand Your Goal and Risk: Know that high returns come with high risks. Diversification and disciplined investing are key.

Consider SIPs and Lump Sums: SIPs provide regular investment discipline, while lump sums can capitalize on market opportunities.

Choose the Right Funds: Mix equity, balanced, and aggressive hybrid funds to balance growth and risk.

Monitor and Adjust: Regularly review and adjust your portfolio to stay aligned with your goals.

Stay Invested and Realistic: Understand market volatility and have realistic expectations about returns.

Investing requires patience, discipline, and a well-thought-out strategy. Following this plan will put you on a path to achieving your goal of Rs 3 crore in 5 years.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7014 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 10, 2024

Listen
Money
Hello My name is Anuj I am 33 year old married One boy child-4yrs old Monthly income 90K Having 50 lkh in equity 5 lakh mutual fund Saving account-3 Lakh Want to retire at 45 yrs with 90k Please suggest
Ans: Understanding Your Financial Goals
Current Financial Status
Age: 33 years
Monthly income: Rs 90,000
Equity: Rs 50 lakhs
Mutual funds: Rs 5 lakhs
Savings account: Rs 3 lakhs
One boy child, 4 years old
Retirement goal: Retire at 45 with a monthly income of Rs 90,000
Financial Goals
Retire at 45 with a monthly income of Rs 90,000.
Secure child’s education and future.
Analyzing Your Investments
Equity Investments
Equity of Rs 50 lakhs shows good growth potential.
Diversify equity portfolio to mitigate risks and enhance returns.
Mutual Funds
Rs 5 lakhs in mutual funds is a solid start.
Increase SIPs to build a substantial corpus over time.
Consider adding large-cap, mid-cap, and multi-cap funds for diversification.
Savings Account
Rs 3 lakhs in a savings account is good for liquidity but offers low returns.
Maintain a portion for emergencies and move the rest to higher-yield investments.
Planning for Early Retirement
Retirement Corpus Calculation
To retire at 45 with Rs 90,000 monthly income, a substantial corpus is required.
Factor in inflation, expected rate of return, and life expectancy.
Power of Compounding
Start investing early to leverage the power of compounding.
Regular SIPs in mutual funds will grow your investments significantly over time.
Diversification
Diversify across different asset classes to balance risk and return.
Include equity, debt, and hybrid funds in your portfolio.
Investment Strategy
Increasing SIPs
Increase SIPs in mutual funds to achieve your retirement goal.
Allocate more towards equity funds for higher returns.
Equity and Mutual Funds
Maintain a diversified equity portfolio to minimize risks.
Include large-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, and sector-specific funds.
Regularly review and rebalance your portfolio to stay aligned with your goals.
Insurance and ULIPs
Review existing insurance policies.
Consider term insurance for adequate life cover.
Evaluate ULIP performance and consider switching to mutual funds if returns are unsatisfactory.
Child’s Education and Future
Education Planning
Start an education fund for your child.
Invest in child-specific mutual funds or equity funds with a long-term horizon.
Regularly increase contributions to ensure adequate funds for higher education.
Balancing Goals
Balance retirement planning with child’s education.
Prioritize long-term growth investments to achieve both goals simultaneously.
Managing Risks
Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund to cover at least 6 months of expenses.
Ensure liquidity for unforeseen circumstances without disrupting investments.
Health and Life Insurance
Adequate health insurance to cover medical emergencies.
Sufficient life insurance to secure your family’s future.
Regular Review
Regularly review and adjust your investment strategy.
Monitor market trends and economic changes to stay on track.
Final Insights
Stay Disciplined
Consistent investments and discipline are key to achieving financial goals.
Avoid withdrawing prematurely to let your investments grow.
Professional Guidance
Consult a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) for personalized advice.
A CFP can help optimize your investment strategy and ensure you stay on track.
Long-Term Perspective
Keep a long-term perspective and avoid making decisions based on short-term market fluctuations.
The power of compounding works best with patience and regular investing.
Financial Security
By managing liabilities and investing wisely, you can achieve financial security.
Your disciplined approach will help you reach your financial goals.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7014 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 25, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 65+ and want to invest Rs.2.00 Lakh each in 4 different funds. Please suggest the name of some good fund.
Ans: At the age of 65 and above, your financial goals typically focus on preserving capital, generating steady income, and maintaining financial stability for the years ahead. Investing Rs. 2 lakh each in four different funds is a good approach to diversify your portfolio, reduce risk, and enhance your financial security.

Understanding Your Financial Needs
Capital Preservation:

At this stage in life, preserving your capital is crucial. You want to ensure that the money you have saved is not eroded by inflation or market downturns.
Steady Income:

Generating a regular income from your investments can help cover daily expenses and healthcare costs. Ensuring a steady cash flow is key to maintaining your standard of living.
Risk Management:

Balancing risk is essential. While some exposure to equities can help grow your wealth, a conservative approach that focuses on debt and balanced funds can reduce the risk of significant losses.
Asset Allocation Strategy
Balanced Approach:

Given your age, a balanced approach that combines equity and debt is advisable. This approach allows for moderate growth while ensuring stability.
Diversification:

By spreading your Rs. 8 lakh across four funds, you are diversifying your portfolio, which reduces the impact of any single fund’s performance on your overall investments.
Equity Exposure:

A small portion of your investment can be in equity-oriented funds for potential growth. However, the majority should focus on more stable options.
Selecting the Right Funds
When choosing funds, it’s essential to consider your risk tolerance, investment horizon, and the need for income. Here’s how you can approach the selection of funds:

1. Debt Funds
Purpose:

Debt funds are suitable for generating regular income with lower risk compared to equity funds. They invest in fixed-income securities like government bonds, corporate bonds, and other debt instruments.
Benefits:

They offer stability and regular income, making them ideal for retirees looking to preserve capital while earning some interest.
Fund Selection:

Choose a debt fund with a good track record, low expense ratio, and a history of consistent returns. Look for funds that invest in high-quality debt securities to reduce credit risk.
Allocation:

You could allocate around Rs. 2 lakh to a debt fund. This allocation would ensure that a portion of your portfolio is secure and provides regular income.
2. Balanced or Hybrid Funds
Purpose:

Balanced or hybrid funds invest in a mix of equities and debt. They provide a balance between growth and income, offering moderate risk and return.
Benefits:

These funds are less volatile than pure equity funds and can provide a steady income with some potential for capital appreciation.
Fund Selection:

Choose a balanced fund with a proven track record of managing risk and delivering consistent returns. Ensure that the equity component is not too aggressive, given your risk profile.
Allocation:

Another Rs. 2 lakh can be allocated to a balanced or hybrid fund. This allocation can provide both growth and income, with a moderate risk level.
3. Equity-Oriented Conservative Funds
Purpose:

While equity funds are generally riskier, a conservative equity fund focuses on blue-chip companies and large-cap stocks, which tend to be more stable.
Benefits:

These funds offer potential capital growth with a lower risk profile compared to mid-cap or small-cap funds.
Fund Selection:

Choose an equity fund that invests in well-established companies with a history of providing stable returns. Look for funds managed by experienced fund managers with a conservative investment approach.
Allocation:

You might consider allocating Rs. 2 lakh to an equity-oriented conservative fund. This allocation allows you to benefit from market growth while minimizing risk.
4. Monthly Income Plans (MIPs)
Purpose:

MIPs are mutual funds that primarily invest in debt instruments but also have a small equity exposure. They aim to provide regular monthly income.
Benefits:

MIPs are suitable for retirees who need a regular income. The equity exposure adds a growth element, while the debt component provides stability.
Fund Selection:

Look for an MIP with a history of consistent monthly payouts. Ensure the fund’s equity exposure is minimal to reduce risk.
Allocation:

The final Rs. 2 lakh can be allocated to an MIP. This allocation ensures a steady income stream, complementing the income from other investments.
Monitoring Your Investments
Regular Review:

It’s important to review your investments regularly, especially in the first few years. Ensure that the funds are performing as expected and meeting your income needs.
Rebalancing:

As you age, your risk tolerance may decrease further. Rebalancing your portfolio to increase debt exposure or reduce equity risk can help align your investments with your changing needs.
Income Withdrawal Strategy:

If you need regular income from these investments, consider setting up a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP). This allows you to withdraw a fixed amount regularly without selling all your units at once.
Risk Considerations
Market Risk:

Even conservative funds can be subject to market fluctuations. Ensure you’re comfortable with the level of risk in your portfolio.
Interest Rate Risk:

Debt funds can be affected by changes in interest rates. Rising interest rates may lead to a decline in the value of existing bonds, impacting the fund’s performance.
Longevity Risk:

With increased life expectancy, it’s crucial to ensure that your investments last as long as you need them. Diversifying across different types of funds can help mitigate this risk.

Tax on SWP:

Withdrawals through SWP are considered as part capital and part income. This can be more tax-efficient compared to regular income options like fixed deposits.
Final Insights
Investing Rs. 2 lakh each in four different funds at the age of 65+ requires careful consideration of your financial goals, risk tolerance, and need for income. A balanced approach with a mix of debt funds, balanced funds, equity-oriented conservative funds, and monthly income plans can provide the right blend of growth and income. Regularly reviewing and rebalancing your portfolio ensures it remains aligned with your financial objectives. By choosing the right funds and adopting a systematic withdrawal plan, you can enjoy financial security and peace of mind in your retirement years.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |414 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 04, 2024
Relationship
my gf was physical(intercourse) just for once with her ex and her ex cheated on her she just had a 2 month relationship with her ex. and after that around just after a month we came in relationship and its been 2 months we are in a relationship we both go to same college but due to house problem she doesn't attend classes basically we are in a long distance relationship and she still remember him and when she goes to places where she meet her ex she still have flashback She is not fully with me even when i just ask her for a normal kiss she refuses and tells me what so hurry but when i asked her does she want to stay with me she told me yes i want to stay with you and she is ready to marry me as well when time comes she even told me that timely she will have feelings for me And for me all this is new this is my first relationship what should i do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Refusing for a kiss isn't as concerning as her saying she will have feelings for you. Not everyone is ready for intimacy at the same time in all their relationships. As I mentioned earlier, there can be several reasons for this behavior. Please have an open conversation with her. Let her know that her behavior is bothering you and you want some clarity. If she still continues to say the same thing, you have the option to rethink the relationship.

I understand that you are feeling disturbed; it's not easy being on the receiving end. Please feel free to pick yourself first. You deserve someone who loves you completely.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |414 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am 28, will be engaged in 3-4 months. It's an arranged marriage. I have met the girl one time, that too she was accompanied with her parents as her family is very conservative. We spoke privately for about half an hour. I know it's still not enough but I was able to have a good conversation. She was nervous at first but I made her feel comfortable and it was then time well spent. She is a sweet girl, even my maa papa like this girl but on the other hand, I am also getting worried as the days are coming near. Sometimes I feel like postponing the event. Is this normal? I also fear of things that happens in nowadays like getting divorce, extra marital affairs, alimony etc. What if she finds a better partner after marriage? Will she leave me? Due to this I cannot have proper sleep recently. Any suggestions to calm my nerves?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Many people get cold feet before getting married. It is very normal. All your questions are valid but you need to understand that in every relationship, it all comes down to trust. Whether you marry this woman or someone else, you have to trust her. And no one can really tell what the future holds. So we focus on the present and hope for the best.

I suggest speaking to your would-be partner a little more in the meantime. Getting to know her will put these doubts to rest. I'm sure she is equally concerned about what kind of person you are. Moreover, it is always a good idea to get to know each other better before committing for a lifetime. And, in case, you still think you need to postpone the event, do not shy away from doing so. It is better to take some time and make the right decision than to make a wrong decision in a hurry.

Hope this helps.
Best Wishes.

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Dr Shakeeb Ahmed

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed Khan  |123 Answers  |Ask -

Physiotherapist - Answered on Nov 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 15, 2024Hindi
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Health
Hi sir , Iam male 27 years planning to reduce my current weight of 86KG hence planning to hit the gym. Iam concerned of abdominal fat. I left gym 3 yrs back when my weight was average 69kgs. However due to no physical activity weight increased. Now iam planning for reducing weight and also improve my strength with good muscular lean body not bulk. Please guide me sir thanks
Ans: It’s wonderful that you’re enthusiastic about getting back into the gym to work towards weight loss and a lean, toned physique! As a physiotherapist, I suggest scheduling regular check-ins with a physiotherapist to monitor your progress and make any necessary adjustments to your exercise routine. To effectively lose fat, particularly around the abdomen, while building muscle, try a balanced approach that incorporates both cardio and strength training. Start with 20-30 minutes of moderate-intensity cardio—like brisk walking, cycling, or jogging—three to five times per week to increase calorie burn. For strength training, focus on compound exercises such as squats, lunges, push-ups, and rows, with three sessions per week. Begin with lighter weights, increasing gradually as your strength builds, and focus on good form to develop lean muscle without bulk.

Including core exercises, like planks, Russian twists, and leg raises, will help to strengthen and tone your abdominal muscles; however, remember that fat loss from specific areas requires overall body fat reduction. A high-protein, balanced diet will be crucial for supporting muscle growth and managing hunger, so aim to reduce processed foods and sugars. Consistency is essential—maintain a regular exercise schedule, and ensure you have rest days for recovery. With dedication, you’ll see steady improvements over time. Best of luck, and don’t hesitate to reach out if you need further guidance!

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

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