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Looking for investment options: 58-year-old woman seeks monthly income and future savings

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8164 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 30, 2025

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 30, 2025Hindi
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Money

I'm a 58 years old woman living with my son after the demise of my husband a few years ago. I have a sum of Rs 1.10 crores in my account received from the insurance claim. Please recommend some of the investment avenues other than FD where I can get a decent monthly income of about 40000-50000 rupees per month from the investment and I would like to invest half of the above income to save for my grandchildren and the remaining for my personal expenses, medical etc.

Ans: You are 58 years old and live with your son.

You have Rs. 1.10 crores from an insurance claim.

You need a monthly income of Rs. 40,000 to Rs. 50,000.

You plan to use half for your expenses and half for your grandchildren’s future.

You want alternatives to fixed deposits for better returns.

Key Challenges to Address
Generating a steady and inflation-adjusted monthly income.

Protecting capital while ensuring consistent returns.

Managing healthcare and emergency expenses.

Creating wealth for your grandchildren without taking excess risk.

Avoiding investment mistakes that may reduce wealth.

Building a Stable Monthly Income
A mix of debt and equity investments is necessary.

Debt investments will provide stability.

Equity investments will help beat inflation.

Invest a portion in actively managed mutual funds through a Certified Financial Planner.

Choose funds with moderate risk and steady returns.

Use a systematic withdrawal plan (SWP) for monthly income.

Avoid index funds as they do not adjust for market conditions.

Investing in Debt Instruments for Stability
Keep a portion of funds in short-term debt mutual funds.

These provide stability with better returns than FDs.

Choose safe, high-rated bonds for fixed returns.

Consider tax-efficient investment options.

Avoid putting all money in bank fixed deposits.

Growing Wealth for Your Grandchildren
Allocate a portion to long-term growth investments.

Invest in equity mutual funds for high returns.

Choose flexi-cap and mid-cap funds through an MFD with CFP credentials.

Increase investments yearly to build a strong corpus.

Keep money growing instead of keeping it idle.

Planning for Healthcare and Emergencies
Maintain a separate fund for medical needs.

Ensure you have a good health insurance policy.

Keep some funds in a high-liquidity investment.

Avoid withdrawing from long-term investments.

Managing Risk and Asset Allocation
Do not take unnecessary risks with capital.

Diversify investments across different asset classes.

Adjust portfolio based on changing needs.

Review investment performance regularly.

Finally
Your financial future looks secure with proper planning.

Create a balanced investment portfolio for income and growth.

Choose investment options wisely to protect and grow wealth.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner for customised strategies.

Stay disciplined and monitor investments regularly.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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I am 52, working in a company earning 30L per annum. I have land worth 40L and flat worth 75L. I have 40L in savings in bank. I have insurance policies accruing to 7L. I have two children, one in 4th year medical education and the other in 12th standard. Please suggest ways of investments for securing the monthly income 1L per month beginning in the next 5 years.
Ans: Reaching the age of 52 with a solid financial background and assets is commendable. Your foresight and discipline have laid a strong foundation for your future. As you plan for the next phase, where you aim to secure a monthly income of Rs. 1 lakh starting in the next five years, let's explore a comprehensive strategy to achieve this goal.

Current Financial Situation and Goals
Income and Assets:

You earn Rs. 30 lakhs per annum, which is a significant income.

You own land worth Rs. 40 lakhs and a flat worth Rs. 75 lakhs.

You have Rs. 40 lakhs in savings in the bank.

Insurance policies amounting to Rs. 7 lakhs add to your security.

Family Responsibilities:

One child is in the 4th year of medical education, and another is in the 12th standard.

Ensuring their educational and financial needs are met is a priority.

Retirement Planning:

You aim to secure a monthly income of Rs. 1 lakh starting in five years.

This plan requires creating a diversified investment portfolio to generate steady returns.

Step-by-Step Investment Plan
To achieve your goal, let’s break down your investment strategy into clear steps:

1. Assessing Immediate Financial Needs
Before diving into investments, let’s ensure you have a robust foundation:

Emergency Fund:

Maintain an emergency fund equivalent to 6-12 months of your expenses.

This fund should be in a highly liquid form like a savings account or short-term FD.

Insurance Coverage:

Ensure you have adequate health and life insurance to cover unexpected events.

Your policies currently totaling Rs. 7 lakhs might need a review for adequate coverage.

Children’s Education:

Plan for the remaining educational expenses for your children.

The cost of medical education and higher studies should be budgeted separately.

2. Optimizing Existing Assets
Your existing assets are significant. Let’s see how they can be optimized:

Savings in Bank:

The Rs. 40 lakhs in savings should be strategically invested for better returns.

Consider liquid funds or short-term debt funds for immediate needs and better interest than savings accounts.

Land and Property:

While real estate can be valuable, it is illiquid and not ideal for generating regular income in retirement.

Selling the land or flat and reinvesting the proceeds into income-generating assets could be considered.

3. Building a Diversified Investment Portfolio
Creating a diversified investment portfolio is crucial for generating a steady income post-retirement. Here’s how:

Equity Mutual Funds:

Invest a portion in equity mutual funds to leverage long-term growth potential.

Given your five-year horizon, a mix of large-cap and balanced funds could provide growth with moderated risk.

Actively managed funds with a track record of consistent performance are recommended over index funds for potentially higher returns.

Debt Funds and Fixed Income:

Allocate funds to debt mutual funds for stability and predictable returns.

Short-term and medium-term debt funds can offer better returns than traditional FDs with moderate risk.

Consider a mix of high-quality corporate bonds and government securities for added security.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP):

Set up a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) in mutual funds to ensure regular monthly income.

SWPs allow you to withdraw a fixed amount regularly, providing the Rs. 1 lakh per month you need.

Balanced and Hybrid Funds:

Balanced or hybrid funds that combine equity and debt can provide a balanced approach.

They offer growth potential along with income generation, suitable for a conservative yet growth-oriented strategy.

Monthly Income Plans (MIPs):

Monthly Income Plans (MIPs) in mutual funds are designed to provide regular income.

These plans invest in a mix of debt and a small portion of equity, offering monthly payouts.

4. Regular and Systematic Investments
Continue SIPs:

Start or continue Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) in equity and debt funds.

SIPs help in averaging the cost of investment and benefit from compounding over time.

Increase Investment Gradually:

Gradually increase your investment amount each year as your income grows or expenses decrease.

This disciplined approach ensures that your portfolio grows steadily.

Lump Sum Investments:

Consider investing a portion of your bank savings as a lump sum into diversified mutual funds.

Stagger these investments over a period to mitigate market volatility risk.

5. Tax-Efficient Strategies
Maximizing post-tax returns is essential to ensure that your Rs. 1 lakh monthly income is sustainable:

Tax Planning:

Invest in tax-saving instruments under Section 80C and 80D to reduce taxable income.

Utilize options like Equity-Linked Savings Schemes (ELSS) for tax benefits and growth.

Tax-Efficient Withdrawals:

Plan your withdrawals in a tax-efficient manner, utilizing long-term capital gains tax benefits.

Diversify your withdrawals between interest, dividends, and capital gains to optimize tax liability.

Income from Investments:

Opt for investments that offer tax-free income or lower tax rates on returns.

Dividend income from mutual funds, if structured correctly, can be more tax-efficient.

Monitoring and Adjusting Your Plan
A financial plan is not static. It requires regular monitoring and adjustments:

Annual Reviews:

Review your portfolio annually to ensure it aligns with your goals and risk tolerance.

Adjust your asset allocation as needed to stay on track.

Rebalancing Portfolio:

Rebalance your portfolio to maintain your desired equity and debt ratio.

This keeps your risk in check and ensures optimal performance.

Keeping Up with Inflation:

Ensure your investments grow faster than inflation to maintain purchasing power.

Regularly increase your investment amounts to keep pace with inflation.

Stay Informed:

Keep abreast of changes in the financial markets and economic conditions.

Adapt your strategy to any significant shifts that could impact your financial goals.

Planning for Non-Financial Aspects of Retirement
Financial planning is crucial, but let’s not forget the non-financial aspects:

Lifestyle and Hobbies:

Plan for activities and hobbies that keep you engaged and fulfilled post-retirement.

Consider pursuing interests that you may not have had time for during your working years.

Health and Wellness:

Maintaining good health is essential to enjoy your retirement years.

Invest in a healthy lifestyle, regular exercise, and balanced nutrition.

Building a Support System:

Cultivate a strong social network for emotional support and companionship.

Staying connected with family, friends, and community can enhance your quality of life.

Charitable and Spiritual Pursuits:

If you’re inclined, plan for charitable activities or spiritual journeys.

Engaging in such pursuits can provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

Final Insights
Your goal to secure a monthly income of Rs. 1 lakh starting in five years is achievable with a well-thought-out plan. Here’s a summary of key actions:

Build a Diversified Portfolio:

Invest in a mix of equity, debt, and balanced mutual funds to achieve growth and income.
Optimize Existing Assets:

Utilize your current savings and assets effectively for higher returns and liquidity.
Regular Investments and SIPs:

Continue and increase SIPs, and consider lump sum investments for growth.
Tax-Efficient Strategies:

Plan investments and withdrawals to minimize tax liability and maximize post-tax income.
Monitor and Adjust Regularly:

Review and rebalance your portfolio annually to stay aligned with your goals.
Non-Financial Aspects:

Prepare for lifestyle, health, and social aspects of retirement to ensure a fulfilling life.
By following these steps and maintaining a disciplined approach, you’ll be well on your way to achieving your retirement goals and enjoying a secure and comfortable life.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8164 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 18, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 52, working in a company earning 30L per annum. I have land worth 40L and flat worth 75L. I have 40L in savings in bank. I have insurance policies accruing to 7L. I have two children, one in 4th year medical education and the other in 12th standard. Please suggest ways of investments for securing the monthly income 1L per month beginning in the next 5 years.
Ans: Planning for your retirement and ensuring a secure monthly income is crucial. Given your current financial status, let's create a comprehensive plan to achieve your goal of Rs 1 lakh monthly income beginning in five years.

Understanding Your Financial Situation
You earn Rs 30 lakhs per annum. You own a land worth Rs 40 lakhs and a flat worth Rs 75 lakhs. You have Rs 40 lakhs in savings in the bank and insurance policies amounting to Rs 7 lakhs. Your children are in their crucial education phases. One is in the final year of medical education, and the other is in the 12th standard.

Evaluating Your Financial Goals
Your primary goal is to secure a monthly income of Rs 1 lakh starting in the next five years. This requires a well-thought-out investment strategy that balances growth and income.

Strategic Asset Allocation
A diversified portfolio is essential for financial stability and growth. Your portfolio should include equity, debt, and other investment instruments.

Equity Investments
Equity investments are crucial for wealth creation. They offer higher returns over the long term, which is necessary for beating inflation and generating a substantial corpus. Given the five-year horizon, a mix of large-cap and multi-cap funds can provide growth with moderate risk.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds are handled by expert fund managers who aim to outperform the market. They can adapt to market changes, seize opportunities, and mitigate risks. This flexibility often leads to better performance compared to index funds, which only replicate the market.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds track a specific market index and cannot outperform it. They lack the flexibility to adapt to market conditions. In contrast, actively managed funds can adjust their portfolios based on market trends, providing a potential for higher returns.

Debt Investments
Debt investments provide stability to your portfolio. They offer fixed returns and are less risky compared to equities. Consider high-quality debt instruments like corporate bonds, government securities, and debt mutual funds. These investments will generate a steady income and preserve your capital.

Gold Investments
Gold is a good hedge against inflation and adds stability to your portfolio. Allocate a small portion of your investments to gold. This can be through sovereign gold bonds or gold ETFs. Gold provides diversification and acts as a safety net during economic downturns.

Emergency Fund
Maintaining an emergency fund is crucial. It should cover at least six months of your living expenses. This fund provides financial security during unforeseen events and prevents you from dipping into your retirement savings.

Insurance Coverage
Ensure you have adequate insurance coverage. Health and life insurance are essential to protect your family from financial distress. Review your current policies and make sure they provide sufficient coverage.

Education Expenses
Your children’s education expenses are significant. Allocate funds to cover their tuition and other related costs. An education loan can be considered for your child in medical school to ease the financial burden.

Reviewing Your Investments Regularly
Regular review of your investments is essential. Market conditions change, and your investment strategy should adapt accordingly. Periodic reviews with a Certified Financial Planner can help keep your investments on track and aligned with your goals.

Avoiding Direct Funds
Direct funds might seem cost-effective due to lower expense ratios, but they require deep market knowledge and constant monitoring. Investing through a Certified Financial Planner ensures professional management and better performance. Regular funds provide the benefit of expert advice and active management.

Setting Up a Retirement Budget
Estimate your post-retirement monthly expenses, including lifestyle, healthcare, and other necessities. Consider inflation and factor in healthcare costs, which tend to rise with age. Plan a budget that ensures a comfortable lifestyle without compromising on your needs.

Generating Passive Income
Creating sources of passive income is crucial for financial independence. Dividends from equity investments, interest from fixed deposits, and rental income are good options. This ensures a steady income flow post-retirement.

Real Estate Considerations
While you have significant assets in real estate, we won’t recommend further real estate investments. Instead, focus on liquid investments that can be easily managed and accessed.

Investing in Health
Invest in your health to reduce future medical expenses. A healthy lifestyle, regular exercise, a balanced diet, and periodic health check-ups are essential. This not only improves your quality of life but also reduces financial strain from health issues.

Seeking Professional Guidance
Regular consultations with a Certified Financial Planner are essential. They provide valuable insights and help in making informed decisions. Their expertise can significantly impact your financial success and ensure your investments are aligned with your goals.

Creating a Corpus for Regular Income
To achieve a monthly income of Rs 1 lakh, you need a substantial corpus. Assuming a safe withdrawal rate of 4%, you need to accumulate around Rs 3 crores. This corpus can be generated through a mix of equity, debt, and other investments over the next five years.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)
A Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) in mutual funds can help you achieve regular income. It allows you to withdraw a fixed amount regularly from your investments, providing a steady cash flow while keeping the remaining funds invested for growth.

How SWP Works
In an SWP, you invest a lump sum in a mutual fund. You can then choose to withdraw a fixed amount at regular intervals—monthly, quarterly, or annually. This withdrawal is sourced from both the capital gains and the principal amount, ensuring that you have a steady income stream.

Advantages of SWP
Regular Income: SWP provides a predictable and regular income flow, which is essential for meeting monthly expenses post-retirement.

Tax Efficiency: Compared to fixed deposits, the capital gains in SWP are taxed at a lower rate. The taxation depends on the type of mutual fund and the holding period, making it a tax-efficient option for regular income.

Capital Growth: While you withdraw a fixed amount, the remaining investment continues to grow. This helps in countering inflation and preserving the capital.

Flexibility: You can choose the amount and frequency of withdrawals based on your financial needs. Additionally, you can stop or modify the SWP anytime without penalties.

Implementing SWP
To implement an SWP, follow these steps:

Choose the Right Mutual Fund: Select a mutual fund that aligns with your risk tolerance and income needs. Balanced funds or debt funds are typically preferred for SWP due to their stability and moderate returns.

Invest a Lump Sum Amount: Based on your income requirement of Rs 1 lakh per month, determine the lump sum amount needed. This should be invested in the chosen mutual fund.

Set Up SWP: Instruct the mutual fund company to set up the SWP with your desired withdrawal amount and frequency.

Monitor and Adjust: Regularly review your SWP and adjust if necessary. This ensures your withdrawals align with your financial goals and market conditions.

Fixed Deposits and Bonds
Fixed deposits and bonds offer fixed returns and are relatively safe. They can provide regular interest income, which contributes to your monthly cash flow. Consider investing in high-quality bonds and fixed deposits with good interest rates.

Post-Retirement Healthcare Planning
Healthcare expenses tend to rise with age. Plan for post-retirement healthcare by investing in health insurance policies that cover critical illnesses and other health issues. This reduces the financial burden of medical expenses.

Final Insights
Securing a monthly income of Rs 1 lakh starting in five years is achievable with careful planning and disciplined execution. Focus on strategic asset allocation, regular investment reviews, and professional guidance. Diversify your investments across equity, debt, and gold to balance growth and stability. Maintain an emergency fund, ensure adequate insurance coverage, and plan for contingencies. Regularly consult a Certified Financial Planner to keep your financial plan on track and aligned with your goals. By following these steps, you can achieve financial independence and enjoy a comfortable retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Nidhi

Nidhi Gupta  |200 Answers  |Ask -

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Hello, Myself Apurba ,43 Y male. Have no disease, weight 68 Kg, height 5.5". I have always been associated with sports. Recently I am preparing for 21 KM marathon. I run 35 KM in field in 07 days with 02 days off (5 days * 07 km average) . I have successfully completed 10 KM marathon recently. Many are objecting me to run these much to protect my knee joint, cartilage etc. But I don't feel any issue , rather I feel so energised although the day. Please let me know if I am harming my knee unknowingly. Please suggest any precautions to be followed so that I can take care of my joints and keep continuing my running. I also do light strength training in parallel with running.
Ans: Hello Rajib,
It is good to know that you are so fit overall.
At times yes excessive running can harm the soft tissues of the knees.
These are the precautions you may take:
1) Please ensure you are taking your Vit D3, Calcium and multivitamin supplements as prescribed
2) A good 10 minutes warm up before running and 10 minutes of cool down via stretches is a must
3) A gentle sesame oil massage around the knee and muscles connected to it is good to do once a week
4) Please ensure you do some form of core exercises. You may learn these from a trainer or physiotherapist. As when core is strong the impact on the knees is lesser.
5) Please keep yourself well hydrated especially during runs
If even the slightest pain comes up take adequate rest!
All the best to become fitter than ever before.
Warm regards,
Dr Nidhi Bajaj Gupta
www.merahkiwellness.com
Insta: merahki_holisticwellness

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8164 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 29, 2025

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Sir, My name is Ankit and i am 32 year old. Sir i invest 3000rupees per month for next 5 year in Axis max Nifty 500momentum 50 fund. Is it right to invest in this fund for a long time?
Ans: Your investment of Rs. 3,000 per month in Axis Nifty 500 Momentum 50 Fund for the next 5 years needs careful evaluation. Since you are 32 years old, your investment horizon can be long-term.

Let’s assess whether this fund is the right choice.

Understanding Your Investment
Fund Type: Index-based momentum fund

Investment Style: Follows momentum strategy within Nifty 500

Your SIP Amount: Rs. 3,000 per month

Investment Tenure: 5 years (as per your plan)

Your Age: 32 (long-term horizon possible)

Momentum funds invest in stocks that have recently shown strong performance. These funds can outperform in bullish phases but may underperform in volatile or bearish markets.

Is This Fund Suitable for Long-Term Investment?
1. Momentum Strategy is Cyclical
This fund invests in stocks that have performed well recently.

If market trends change, it may struggle to maintain returns.

Not ideal as a core long-term portfolio holding.

2. High Volatility and Risk
Momentum funds have higher risk than diversified equity funds.

In falling markets, momentum stocks drop sharply.

3. Index-Based Strategy Limits Flexibility
This fund is passively managed and cannot adjust based on market trends.

Actively managed funds can perform better in different cycles.

4. 5-Year Horizon is Short for Equity
Equity investments work best for 7+ years.

If you need money in 5 years, debt funds or balanced funds are better.

Better Approach for Your Investment
1. Diversify into Actively Managed Funds
Instead of relying on a single index-based momentum fund, diversify.

Large & multi-cap funds can provide stability with growth.

Mid-cap & flexi-cap funds can generate higher returns with controlled risk.

2. Extend Investment Horizon
Instead of stopping after 5 years, consider SIP for 10+ years.

Equity needs long duration to generate wealth.

3. Review and Rebalance Annually
If fund performance is inconsistent, shift to a better option.

Avoid locking yourself into one strategy for too long.

Final Insights
Axis Nifty 500 Momentum 50 Fund is not ideal as a standalone long-term investment.

Momentum strategy works in bull markets but struggles in volatility.

Instead of investing in only one fund, diversify into actively managed funds.

If your horizon is just 5 years, equity funds carry risk. Debt or hybrid funds can be better.

Review your goals and adjust your investment accordingly.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8164 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 29, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 27, 2025Hindi
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Money
Hi, I am 47. want to start monthly SIP of Rs 50,000. I am not a risk taker and happy with 12-15% annual return. Can you please suggest best plans & combinations.
Ans: You want to invest Rs. 50,000 per month through SIP. You prefer lower risk and expect 12-15% annual returns.

A structured mutual fund portfolio can help balance risk and returns.

Understanding Your Investment Profile
Age: 47 years

Risk Tolerance: Low (not a risk taker)

Return Expectation: 12-15% annually

Investment Horizon: Long-term SIP (10+ years)

Preferred Investment Mode: Monthly SIP of Rs. 50,000

Your return expectation suggests a mix of equity and debt. But low risk means avoiding pure small-cap or mid-cap funds.

Suggested SIP Allocation (Rs. 50,000 per Month)
A 60:40 equity-to-debt ratio is ideal for your risk level.

Equity Mutual Funds – Rs. 30,000 (60%)
Large & Multi-Cap Funds (Rs. 20,000): Stability with growth potential

Sectoral or Thematic Funds (Rs. 10,000): Targeted growth in strong industries

Debt Mutual Funds – Rs. 20,000 (40%)
Corporate Bond or Dynamic Bond Funds (Rs. 15,000): Lower volatility, predictable returns

Short-Term Debt Funds (Rs. 5,000): For liquidity and lower risk

Why This Allocation?
Large & Multi-Cap Funds reduce risk while capturing market growth.

Debt Funds provide stability and lower market-linked volatility.

Sectoral Funds add controlled growth exposure.

This balance can help achieve your 12-15% return expectation.

Additional Considerations
1. Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) for Future Income
After 10-15 years, convert part of equity into SWP for regular income.

Ensure withdrawals are tax-efficient.

2. Portfolio Review Every Year
Check fund performance annually.

Rebalance if required to maintain risk balance.

3. Tax Efficiency
Equity Gains: LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.

Debt Gains: Taxed as per your income slab.

Final Insights
A mix of equity and debt reduces risk while achieving your return goals.

Large & multi-cap funds provide stability, and debt funds add safety.

Annual reviews help adjust strategy as per market conditions.

SWP after 10+ years can convert SIPs into passive income.

This plan aligns with your risk profile and expected returns.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |569 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 27, 2025Hindi
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I am in relationship with a girl for 6 year but now her parents almost fix her arrange marriage and they dont care about her choice they didnot even consider her opinion about the boy they met ..except her everyone in family like the boy because he is rich and handling his father business and here i am i dont have job i am preparing for government job i asked her family please give me some time i,ll get the job this year but they say we cant agree for the possibility of you getting job or not and her mother say we dont allow intercaste marriage i am sc and she is general and pandit .. i am 26year old what should i do .. i think ab uske parents jada jaldi krre hai shadi k loye because unhone merse baat krli to unko dhr hai ki m kuch esa vsa na krdu jisse unki society me respect vghra ko khtra hoga isliye or vo jada rishtedaro ki sunre hai... mne apni gf ko bola hai ki filhal jb tk job nhi lgti meri tb tk unhe boldo ki mere sath ab kuch nhi h that she blocks me or vo apni side se tb tk rishtey ko mna krti rhe pr uske ghr vale uska opinion about boy consider hi ni krre hai jo unke rishtedaro ne discuss krliya ladka thik h to unhone usko haan boldi ... mujhe kya krna chaiye...her parents do all emotional blackmail to her as today they even touched her feet and said hme pta h tere liye kya shi h hmne tko pala h kuch bhi esa nhi krdio jisse hmari ijat khrab hojaye m pagal hojaunga
Ans: The real question here is not just about her parents—it's about her. If she truly wants to be with you, she needs to resist this marriage and make it clear that she does not consent. But if she is unable to stand up to them, then you need to ask yourself if you want to keep fighting for someone who is not fighting alongside you. Love is powerful, but it cannot survive if only one person is struggling to keep it alive.

Right now, you need to have an honest conversation with her. Ask her directly if she is ready to resist or if she is feeling too pressured to fight back. If she wants to be with you but is feeling trapped, you both need to find a way to delay or stop this marriage. But if she is already giving in to their pressure, then you need to start preparing yourself for the painful truth that she may not choose you in the end.

At the same time, focus on your own stability. Your career is not just about proving her family wrong—it is about securing your future and self-worth. No matter what happens with this relationship, you need to build a life where no one can ever make you feel like you are not good enough again. It is not easy to walk away from love, but sometimes, choosing yourself is the only way forward.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |569 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 28, 2025

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Relationship
Hi ma'am my relationship with my parents r getting sour since a very long time they always want me to do everything that makes them happy and think about their happiness if I think about my happiness they will start fighting with me nd my parents never supported me for anything in my life till today my dad has always said that if she will ever think about her happiness then I'm gonna leave everything nd go nd so does my mom she also threatened me to cut ties with me even I do everything still they taunt me every day that I can't do anything in life my parents never support me they never ask me who I wanna get married to who I'll b happy with what I wanna work what is my goals ngt but it's always about them my grandmother stays 15kms away from my house she has 3 kids and all r well settled but her 2 daughters had a love marriage one to a muslim nd one to a hindu when they were about to get married my mom didn't even raised her voice or opposed that marriage her one daughter ran nd got married to her bf who is a hindu at that tym also my mom nd dad nd my grandmother didn't even say a word nd during Covid 2020 my grandmother got her 2nd daughter married with her bf who is a muslim without informing any of our relatives when I fell in love with a hindu guy my mom separated me from him and she is telling everyone to brainwash me to leave the person I love nd get married to a Christian guy when ever we go to my grandmother's house my mom always start a fight with me we went there for 3 times and all the 3 times she started fighting with me my mom always support my grandmother's children if anything happens to them she will call them 10 tyms and ask how they are when my grandmother was ill treating me my mom didn't even raise her voice nd didn't even take a stand for myself but she was watching everything as a movie is going on when I was crying after we came back to my house my mom didn't even ask me what am I going through when she was seeing me cry everyday she always support my grandmother who did bad with me if they will say not to let her work my mom will listen to her nd her daughters but she will never listen to me and my grandmother started forcing me to get married to a Christian guy nd i should also listen to her nd not to think about my happiness nd what makes me happy in life what should I do I'm completely shattered ma'am nd i don't have anyone to share my pain with even if I do they will support my parents only bcoz of all this I'm not able to concentrate on anything at all
Ans: Dear Niveditha,
Right now, your emotions are tangled in hurt, anger, and helplessness, but you are not powerless. The first thing you need to do is detach emotionally from their guilt-tripping. You cannot live your entire life trying to please people who refuse to acknowledge your needs. It’s okay to love and respect your parents, but not at the cost of losing yourself.

Start setting boundaries, even if it feels impossible at first. If they constantly taunt you, limit conversations with them. If they threaten to cut ties, remind yourself that love should not be conditional. If they refuse to support you, find strength within yourself. You are already surviving without their emotional backing, which means you are stronger than you think.

As for your relationship, you need to ask yourself—are you willing to sacrifice your happiness just to avoid family drama? If you truly love this person and see a future together, you will need to stand firm in your decision. Love requires courage, and choosing your happiness is not selfish—it’s necessary.

You are not alone in this. Many people fight similar battles with families who refuse to understand. But at the end of the day, this is your life. You deserve love, respect, and the right to make your own choices. No matter what happens, never let their words make you believe you are unworthy of happiness. Keep fighting for yourself, because you deserve it.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |569 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 25, 2025Hindi
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Hi, I am 28 years old, about to get engaged in couple of months. It's an arranged marriage. Before that I met with the girl. At our first meeting, she was little shy and hesitant at first but still we were able to have a good conversation. However after that, as usual parents wanted an answer and without beating around the bush, we agreed. We went out once for lunch once and it was good. We got to know each other a little. But after that it's mostly chats. It's like I always start the conversation and end it. She may want to take things little slow which I respect. I am an introvert person, but at least I try to have a conversation. But even the chats feels like an interview round, she doesn't even ping me or calls me. Even I asked her if she has a boyfriend or is she happy with the marriage which she responded positively. That was a sigh of relief. Last we talked was on Valentine's day where we exchanged gifts and had some chats. But after that no more talks till now. For a month I stopped texting her as it always seems I am always eager to talk and also to check whether she will revert back, but not once in a month she called or texted me. Isn't she a little bit curious to know me? Now I feel tired to always ping her and asks her about her daily life. Maybe it seems like I am putting a lot of effort or maybe I am overthinking, but I just want to assure myself that I am taking the right decision. Sometimes I even feel if this marriage will work out or not. It's like I am taking a huge gamble on my life and letting destiny decide my faith.
Ans: A relationship, even in its early stages, should not feel like a duty. While some people do take time to open up, a complete lack of initiation from her side raises important concerns. Communication is not just about words; it’s also about effort, interest, and a willingness to connect. If she truly wanted to get to know you, even at a slow pace, there would be at least some level of curiosity or effort from her side.

It’s good that you gave space to see if she would reach out, but her silence for an entire month speaks volumes. This is not about overthinking—it’s about acknowledging your feelings and recognizing whether the emotional energy you are investing is being reciprocated. If she is this distant now, it’s fair to wonder whether this pattern will continue after marriage.

Rather than silently carrying these doubts, it would be best to have an open conversation with her. Express your feelings calmly and ask her directly about her thoughts on the relationship. It’s important to know whether she is truly interested or just going along with the marriage out of obligation. Clarity now can save you from deeper emotional struggles later.

Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and both partners should walk into it with confidence, not just because it was arranged or expected. If her response still feels indifferent or passive, you have every right to reconsider. This is your life, and you deserve a partner who values building a connection as much as you do.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4398 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Mar 28, 2025

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I have passed my Class 10th in the year 2022 and Class 12th in the year 2025. There is a one year gap between 10th and 12th because I have to repeat class 11th bcoz of my certain health issue. Now, I am planning to take drop and attempt jee 2026 . So plz tell am I eligible for jee advanced 2026 or not?? Accord to your video I am not eligible but I have talked so many expert and counseller but they said that I am eligible for adv 2026 ...So plz reply me sir..I have passed my Class 10th in the year 2022 and Class 12th in the year 2025. There is a one year gap between 10th and 12th because I have to repeat class 11th bcoz of my certain health issue. Now, I am planning to take drop and attempt jee 2026 . So plz tell am I eligible for jee advanced 2026 or not?? As it is not mention anywhere nor on the organizing committee website nor on the josaa website that the number of attempt is calculated based on the gap year btw 10th and 12th...It is based on the year of passing class 12th...Plz reply sir.. It is the question of my career...
Ans: Ansh, you haven’t mentioned whether you have joined any coaching (offline or online). If not, it’s highly recommended to enroll in a reputed coaching center near your residence. Smart preparation is key, and I have shared several JEE preparation strategies here on the RediffGURU platform—please go through them and follow the ones that suit you best.

Additionally, always have a Plan B & Plan C by appearing for 5-6 other engineering entrance exams as backup options. This will give you more choices and flexibility in selecting the best institute for your future.

Regarding your eligibility, based on the information provided, you are eligible for JEE Advanced 2026. The criteria allow candidates to attempt JEE Advanced twice in two consecutive years. Since you are completing Class 12 in 2025, you can attempt JEE Advanced in both 2025 and 2026. Your gap year due to health reasons does not impact eligibility.

However, stay updated with the official JEE Advanced website for any changes in eligibility criteria.

Wishing you all the best for your JEE and other engineering entrance exams!

Ansh, you haven’t mentioned whether you have joined any coaching (offline or online). If not, it’s highly recommended to enroll in a reputed coaching center near your residence. Smart preparation is key, and I have shared several JEE preparation strategies here on the RediffGURU platform—please go through them and follow the ones that suit you best.

Additionally, always have a Plan B & Plan C by appearing for 5-6 other engineering entrance exams as backup options. This will give you more choices and flexibility in selecting the best institute for your future.

Regarding your eligibility, based on the information provided, you are eligible for JEE Advanced 2026. The criteria allow candidates to attempt JEE Advanced twice in two consecutive years. Since you are completing Class 12 in 2025, you can attempt JEE Advanced in both 2025 and 2026. Your gap year due to health reasons does not impact eligibility.

However, stay updated with the official JEE Advanced website for any changes in eligibility criteria. Wishing you all the best for your JEE and other engineering entrance exams!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know more on 'Careers | Health | Money | Relationships'.

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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