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Sushil Sukhwani  |438 Answers  |Ask -

Study Abroad Expert - Answered on Aug 16, 2023

Sushil Sukhwani is the founding director of the overseas education consultant firm, Edwise International. He has 31 years of experience in counselling students who have opted to study abroad in various countries, including the UK, USA, Canada and Australia. He is part of the board of directors at the American International Recruitment Council and an honorary committee member of the Australian Alumni Association. Sukhwani is an MBA graduate from Bond University, Australia. ... more
vineet Question by vineet on Aug 09, 2023Hindi
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Career

my faughter wants MS or M.Tech in mechateonics in India or abroad so what is good and where shall be apply

Ans: Dear Vineet,

First and foremost, thank you for contacting us. However, we only deal with overseas education. It is critical to select the correct university and location for obtaining a Master's degree in Mechatronics. Mentioned below are some stages and considerations to assist you and your daughter in making an educated decision:

1. Research Initiatives: Begin by investigating the universities and programs that provide a Master's degree in Mechatronics. Search for colleges with reputable engineering and technology departments, especially those with a strong mechatronics or related field emphasis.

2. University Standing and Reputation: Examine the rankings and reputation of universities, particularly those in engineering and technology. Higher ranked institutions frequently have superior faculty, resources, and connections to business.

3. Research and Academia: Research the professors who have expertise in mechatronics and related subjects. The learning experience can be substantially improved by excellent faculty. Additionally, mechatronics research initiatives and projects might be a huge benefit.

4. Location: Take the university's location into consideration. Seek out areas with a strong industrial foundation and cutting-edge technology. This might open up chances for internships, team projects, and prospective employment following graduation.

5. Cost and Financial Aid: Analyze the cost of living and tuition in the nations and colleges that interest you. Additionally, look into any possible scholarships for international students.

6. Language: Examine the language of education. Many institutions in English-speaking nations offer English-language programs, although some may demand knowledge in the native language.

7. Links to Industry: Universities with strong connections to regional businesses might present networking possibilities, internships, and possible job prospects after graduation.

8. Curriculum & Areas of Concentration: Review the course descriptions and curriculum. Your daughter's interests in mechatronics may be matched by specialized courses or concentrations offered by several universities.

9. Infrastructure and Labs: Investigate the workspaces, laboratories, and tools offered for mechatronics projects and research. For this field, practical experience is essential.

10. Alumni Success: Find out where prior program alumni are working currently. This might help you gauge how well the curriculum prepares pupils for the workforce.

Here are several nations noted for their formidable colleges and strong engineering programmes in light of these factors:

• United States: Engineering programs at universities viz., Stanford University, the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), the University of California--Berkeley, and the Georgia Institute of Technology are renowned.

• Germany: Universities like Technische Universität München (TUM), Rheinisch-Westfälische Technische Hochschule Aachen (RWTH Aachen), and Technische Universität Berlin, which are known for their strong engineering history, provide top-notch engineering programs.

• Canada: Engineering departments at universities like McGill University, University of Toronto, and University of British Columbia are well-known.

• Switzerland: The engineering and technology programs at ETH Zurich and École Polytechnique Fédérale de Lausanne (EPFL) are well-known.

Consider your daughter's academic and career ambitions as well as the family's financial needs when thoroughly researching each university and program. To acquire first-hand knowledge of the programs, it’s also a smart move to get in touch with current students or alumni.

For more information, you can visit our website.
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Anu Krishna  |1033 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

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i am in love with my cousin bhabhi since last 10 years , we both have same age 40 years old. and had many time sexual relationship with each other, before 2-3 years back she want to stop this relationship due to her kids growing up, and we not spend time at her house due to her adult child now. but after my force we started this again and whenever we have chance we has sexual activity, but now since last 3-4 months she again ignoring me and want to stop our relationship again, as per my knowledge she ignoring me becz i dont spend much money on her rather them my wire, i also want to stop and thinking many time, but again we start this, plz help wht to do now for better, becz still i am searching time at her home to meet her alone.
Ans: Dear Suresh,
Find a house faraway from hers and let her carry on with her life and you carry on with yours...
Your relationship seems to have no future; it was just the lust that kept it on. Now that she has clearly stated that she wants to stop as the children are growing up, why are you insisting on carrying it on? It will damage all your other close relationships as well!
Move on please...

All the best!
Dear Anonymous,
No, Age is not so important in a marriage; but if it isn't, then why did you hide the fact of your real age? You have givem it that importance enough to hide it, yeah?
And any relationship based on lies or a hidden fact can cause damages...
The only way that I can see is work with the Counselor and appeal to your husband as well. Tell him that your child needs the love of both parents. Hear what he has to say...and yes, he is bound to bring up the age factor over and over again...it is something that he feels cheated with...so, respect it...Like I said, Apologize like you really mean it...

And oh, why are you so bothered about how he will treat other women in his life? Just focus on your life and your marriage...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1033 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 10, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi mam, I was in a relationship with a guy for 3 months he was uneducated but I’m a S.E. Initially everything was fine but later he started like u should not talk with other boys you should not go there you should not wear this kind of dress, I’m your husband so you should listen to me whatever I say u should do that like he started. Then he started mentally abused with so many bad words nd he slapped me twice. So I decided I don’t want to be in this relationship so I said him. Then he kept some fellows to follow me to check wat I’m doing where I’m going to get all these details. And then he said I will show both of our to your family, I will kill you like this he started. Now it is almost 2 year I’m leading my life but sometimes he will call me he will threaten me I don’t know what to do how to overcome this I can’t tell to my family I’m depressed can u please tell me what I have to do
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Are you married? Because he said that he is your husband...I am confused...

Anyway, NO, he has no business controlling you this way...Emotional and Physical Abuse is a strict NO NO...
Tell your family and do that NOW!!!!!!!
This man seems to be acting in a violent manner and your safety should be more of a concern...it was 2 slaps, then after that? When you did not protest for that, he simply has got the message that violence is okay with you...
No, it's not okay, right? And that's why you wrote on this platform...

Do the right thing for yourself...Protect yourself from this person first! Threats of killing you did not set off alarm bells? Why are you still letting him off so easy? This is NOT love...he is just a familiar person to you.
Familiarity does not mean Safety!!!!!! (Read this again)...

Involve your family and let him know that you are not alone; he will stop his threats knowing that you will respond to the rubbish he is subjecting you to! Speak with your family...

All the best!
Dear Anonymous,
No, Age is not so important in a marriage; but if it isn't, then why did you hide the fact of your real age? You have givem it that importance enough to hide it, yeah?
And any relationship based on lies or a hidden fact can cause damages...
The only way that I can see is work with the Counselor and appeal to your husband as well. Tell him that your child needs the love of both parents. Hear what he has to say...and yes, he is bound to bring up the age factor over and over again...it is something that he feels cheated with...so, respect it...Like I said, Apologize like you really mean it...

And oh, why are you so bothered about how he will treat other women in his life? Just focus on your life and your marriage...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1033 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 12, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am a 32M year old married man, working in a MNC with no to very low growth in my professional career.On the other hand my wife 28F is career oriented lady, great academician, working as an assistant professor in a good university. I feel very happy for her and on the other hand I feel I am not correct for her, as I am very average, stuck in my job, with a doubtful career growth. Please help. Should I let her know to move onn with someone better than me. She does love me and raises no concerns at all, but the feeling of dismay is from my end.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Why` exactly are you assuming things for her?
If she seems to be unbothered by who is earning how much, they why are you putting so much effort into it and creating a problem?
She loves you, supports you...what you can do is also the same...Love her and support her without focusing much on who is earning how much etc. If you had earned more and she had earned less, that would have been okay? You are just giving into the patriarchal system, aren't you?
Instead rejoice in the fact, that all is well and your marriage is wonderful...So, time to remove the old cobwebs of male dominated thinking and make it a case of co-existence with your wife. She simply would want only that from you now...

All the best!
Dear Anonymous,
No, Age is not so important in a marriage; but if it isn't, then why did you hide the fact of your real age? You have givem it that importance enough to hide it, yeah?
And any relationship based on lies or a hidden fact can cause damages...
The only way that I can see is work with the Counselor and appeal to your husband as well. Tell him that your child needs the love of both parents. Hear what he has to say...and yes, he is bound to bring up the age factor over and over again...it is something that he feels cheated with...so, respect it...Like I said, Apologize like you really mean it...

And oh, why are you so bothered about how he will treat other women in his life? Just focus on your life and your marriage...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |106 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello Dr Ashish - It has come to light recently that my own family members are working tirelessly to strain the relationship between my wife and myself. I came to know about it after almost 2 decades of my marriage. I am shocked to know that my character assassination has been happening since day 1. As I was very busy with my work and other commitments, I was completely not aware of these developments behind my back. Infact my wife also never revealed it to me. She is an independent woman working in a corporate. These differences have caused so much strain in our relationships. The mutual trust had taken a severe beating. At times I have seen her taken over by a feeling of helplessness. As things are clearer now, I am trying to alienate circumstances that might lead to any kind of differences. However, my wife does not think it is a good idea to stay away from our own people. The result is whenever these people come into our otherwise peaceful and a very comfortable life, we tend to fight over the differences created by them. Please advise what can be done here.
Ans: Navigating family dynamics, especially when it involves deep-rooted misunderstandings and long-standing tensions, can be exceptionally challenging. Here are some strategies to consider:

1. Open and Honest Communication
Begin by having a candid conversation with your wife. Acknowledge the feelings and experiences she has gone through. It's important to create a safe space where both of you can express your thoughts and emotions without judgment.

2. Set Boundaries
Discuss and establish boundaries regarding interactions with family members. These boundaries are not about cutting ties but about protecting your relationship from negative influences. Agree on what is acceptable and what isn't when it comes to family involvement.

3. Seek Professional Help
Consider seeking the assistance of a relationship counselor or a therapist. A neutral third party can facilitate conversations, helping both of you understand each other's perspectives better and find common ground.

4. Focus on Your Relationship
Spend quality time together, reconnecting and rebuilding trust. Engage in activities that you both enjoy and that strengthen your bond. This will help remind both of you why you chose each other in the first place.

5. Educate and Inform
Gently inform your family about the impact their actions have had on your relationship. This doesn’t have to be confrontational. Use “I” statements to express how their behavior has affected you and your marriage.

6. Mutual Support
Reinforce mutual support and understanding. Recognize that both of you are on the same team and that the goal is to protect and nurture your relationship. Express appreciation for each other’s efforts in navigating these challenges.

7. Long-term Perspective
Understand that change will not happen overnight. Be patient and persistent in your efforts to create a more harmonious environment. Celebrate small victories and progress in your relationship.

8. Mindfulness and Emotional Intelligence
Practice mindfulness and enhance your emotional intelligence. Being aware of your own emotions and managing them effectively can help in responding rather than reacting to stressful situations. This can also aid in understanding your wife’s emotional responses better.

Final Thoughts
Building a fortress around your relationship doesn’t mean isolating yourselves from family but rather strengthening your bond to withstand external pressures. Your wife’s perspective on staying connected with family is valid, and finding a balance that respects both of your views is crucial. It’s about creating a unified front and handling external influences together.

This journey requires patience, understanding, and a commitment to each other. By taking these steps, you can work towards rebuilding trust and harmony in your marriage.

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |106 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

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Relationship
Hello sir, thanks for your previous response. I am a bit curious about how relationships fall into routine and predictability. We all know that every relationship has a phase where passion wanes and people settle in routine and predictable life. But only some of them get attracted towards potential partners outside while some don't. Why this happens and is it different for men and women?
Ans: Relationships, like any dynamic process, evolve over time. Initially, there's a phase filled with excitement and discovery, often driven by passion and novelty. As time progresses, this high-energy state transitions into a more stable and predictable pattern, which can sometimes be perceived as mundane. The predictability in relationships is not inherently negative; it provides a sense of security and trust. However, the challenge lies in maintaining the balance between comfort and excitement.

Why Some People Seek Excitement Outside the Relationship:
Unmet Needs:

When certain emotional, psychological, or physical needs aren't met within the relationship, individuals might seek fulfillment elsewhere. This isn't necessarily about dissatisfaction but about finding what they feel is missing.
Desire for Novelty:

Humans are naturally inclined towards novelty and excitement. Some individuals have a higher need for variety and may seek new experiences or connections outside their relationship to satisfy this craving.
Emotional Distance:

Over time, couples can drift apart emotionally. If there's a lack of emotional intimacy or unresolved conflicts, one might look for connection outside the relationship.
Validation and Self-Esteem:

Some people seek validation and a boost in self-esteem from new admirers. This external validation can be intoxicating, especially if they feel underappreciated within their current relationship.
Differences Between Men and Women:
While individual differences often overshadow gender differences, certain trends have been observed:

Social Conditioning:

Men and women are often socialized differently, affecting their approach to relationships and infidelity. Men might be conditioned to seek multiple partners to prove their virility, while women might seek emotional connections.
Emotional vs. Physical Needs:

Generally, women may seek emotional fulfillment, while men might be more inclined towards physical satisfaction. However, this is not a rule and varies greatly among individuals.
Communication Styles:

Women often emphasize emotional sharing and communication, which can prevent emotional drift. Men might struggle with this, leading to unmet emotional needs.
Risk vs. Reward:

Men might be more willing to take risks for immediate rewards, while women might consider the broader implications and long-term effects on the family and relationship.
Maintaining Balance and Preventing Predictability:
Open Communication:

Regularly discussing desires, needs, and concerns can prevent emotional drift and unmet needs.
Shared Activities:

Engaging in new activities together can reignite the spark and bring novelty into the relationship.
Emotional Intimacy:

Building and maintaining emotional intimacy through shared experiences, empathy, and understanding can strengthen the bond.
Self-Reflection:

Individuals should reflect on their own needs and communicate them effectively. Understanding oneself is key to understanding the relationship dynamics.
Appreciation and Gratitude:

Regularly expressing appreciation and gratitude can boost self-esteem and reinforce the positive aspects of the relationship.
In the end, each relationship is unique, and understanding the individual needs and dynamics at play is essential. By fostering open communication, emotional intimacy, and mutual respect, couples can navigate the phases of their relationship with greater ease and fulfillment.

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |106 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 31, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Sir, I am 42 years old man. I have one 7 years old daughter. Myself working in Private company as a Manager electronics and my wife Central Govt. Employee. We all three was together from last 7 years but recently my wife transferred to other city with daughter. Job related to my field not available in that city so I was not able to shift with them. My daughter and myself not able to stay away from each other but parallelly I am not able to leave job due to financial condition. Please guide me what to do ?
Ans: It sounds like you're facing a challenging situation, balancing the emotional needs of your family with the financial necessities of your job. Here's a structured approach to help you navigate this:

1. Evaluate Options for Proximity
Remote Work Opportunities: Explore if your current company or similar companies offer remote work options. Given the rise of remote work, there may be opportunities that align with your expertise.
Transfer Within Company: Inquire if your company has a branch or affiliated office in the city where your wife and daughter are now located.
2. Maximize Quality Time
Regular Visits: Schedule regular visits to see your wife and daughter. This could be every weekend or every other weekend, depending on distance and costs.
Virtual Interaction: Utilize video calls to maintain daily interaction. This can help maintain the emotional bond with your daughter.
3. Financial Planning
Budget Review: Reassess your financial situation to identify any adjustments or savings that can be made. This might help in managing travel expenses or saving towards potential relocation in the future.
Consult a Financial Advisor: If possible, seek professional advice to better manage your finances and explore options for creating a more flexible budget.
4. Support Network
Family and Friends: Lean on family and friends for emotional support. They can also help with practical matters, such as babysitting or providing company.
Professional Support: Consider speaking to a counselor or coach to navigate the emotional stress. This can provide strategies for coping and maintaining mental well-being.
5. Long-Term Planning
Career Development: Look into furthering your skills and qualifications. This can open up more opportunities, potentially even in the city your family is now in.
Explore Local Opportunities: Stay updated on the job market in both your current city and the new city. Networking can sometimes uncover opportunities that aren't immediately apparent.


Balancing these aspects will require flexibility, communication, and a bit of creativity. It's important to maintain open communication with your wife and daughter, ensuring that each step you take is aligned with their needs and yours. Remember, the goal is to find a sustainable way to support your family emotionally and financially. This might involve a series of small adjustments rather than one big change. Take it step by step, and be kind to yourself during this transition.

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |106 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2024Hindi
Relationship
Hi sir, I am 34 year women with 2 girl kids. I m working in IT and I earn good amount of livelihood. Sir I hv been married for 6 years and after 1 year of marriage me and my husband understanding issue started where he wants to dominate on me in all senses including financial stuff. But I was okay n in 1 year my 1st daughter born then serious issue started I had rejoined job n discontinued giving all my salary to him. I started savings for my kid where he was nt happy he indirectly demanded my complete salary to be given to him as I did before issue start. Bt in 2020 as lockdown happened he moved to his village where It was very difficult for me to work bt demanded to come to his place. I denied and concentrate my career. So he left us 2 years he did call n check how is kid. Then again he came back 2022 with elders we moved to together to city and again asked money as my sal was increased if nt asked me to barrow 50-60lac as loan n give to him for property which he agreed to make it my name in his place. Bt I denied bc I couldn't trust him meanwhile 2nd daughter born. I came for mother place n he started doing backstabbing abt me n my family within relatives. When I asked he stopped coming visiting me n my daughter and he turn up for 2 baby also it's been year now. Sir my question is ..I m fed up of his behaviour n I dont trust him. As I hv two kids is it really difficult to live without him in this society. As many of my relatives are suggesting go and call ur him how can you live alone with 2 daughter. Sir pls guide me what should I do now ..I tolerate him all these years for kids and society. Now I m done n scared as will I be able to handle all alone. My parents are big support and now I m nt in condition where I go legally against him. Is my decision of living by myself with my daughters and parents is correct or wrong decision or I should go with him.
Ans: Your situation is indeed complex and emotionally taxing. It's important to approach this with both clarity and compassion for yourself and your daughters. Here are some steps and considerations to help you navigate this:

Self-Reflection and Clarity
Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s essential to recognize your feelings of frustration, fear, and exhaustion. These emotions are valid and need to be addressed.
Define Your Priorities: What are your primary concerns? Your children’s well-being, your financial independence, your personal peace, and safety are likely at the top of this list.
Evaluating Your Relationship
Assess Trust and Respect: Trust and mutual respect are fundamental to any relationship. If these are missing, it is challenging to maintain a healthy partnership.
Past Behaviors as Indicators: Look at the past behavior of your husband. Consistent demands for money, lack of support, and absence during critical times can be telling signs of his priorities and commitment.
Support System
Lean on Your Parents: Having your parents’ support is a significant advantage. They can provide emotional, physical, and perhaps even financial support as you navigate this period.
Professional Help: Consider seeking counseling or support groups for single mothers. These resources can provide guidance, emotional support, and practical advice.
Societal Pressure
Redefine Norms: Society often has rigid expectations, but your well-being and that of your children come first. Living according to societal norms at the cost of your mental peace and safety is not sustainable.
Role Models: Look for examples of other women who have successfully managed similar situations. Their stories can offer inspiration and practical advice.
Legal and Financial Considerations
Know Your Rights: Even if you’re not in a position to take legal action now, it’s essential to be informed about your rights regarding child support and alimony.
Financial Independence: Continue to safeguard your financial independence. This will provide security and stability for you and your daughters.
Decision Making
Short-Term vs. Long-Term: Think about both immediate needs and long-term goals. What decision will bring peace and stability now, and what will be beneficial in the future?
Children’s Well-Being: Consider the environment your children will grow up in. A peaceful, loving environment, even if it’s without their father, might be more beneficial than a toxic, conflict-ridden one.
Practical Steps
Document Everything: Keep records of communications and financial transactions. This documentation can be crucial if you decide to pursue legal action in the future.
Plan for Independence: Create a plan for your independent living situation, including budgeting, childcare, and career progression.
Final Thoughts
Choosing to live independently with your daughters is a courageous and often necessary step for many women in similar situations. Trust in your strength and the support of your parents. It’s important to remember that living a life of peace and dignity, even if it means being a single parent, is a powerful and positive example for your children.

You are not alone in this journey. Seek the support you need, trust your instincts, and prioritize your and your children’s well-being above all.

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |106 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

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Hello Dr. Ashish, my daughter who is 23 years old, is sufferings from anxiety and sleep disorder from past 4 years. For that she takes medicines from a MD Psychiatrist regularly. But due this medicine side effect (I think so) she sleeps excessively. Instead of morning she wakes up anytime between 11 to 2 in the noon. Even if we force her to get up early (say at 9 O'clock), she sleeps again after 3-4 hours till late evening. She does not have any desire to do any household work and even she does not feel hunger in day time. Mostly she skips her lunch and eats dinner directly. Kindly help me in getting her out of this trauma.
Ans: I'm truly sorry to hear about your daughter's struggles. It's challenging to witness a loved one facing such difficulties. Let's approach this situation with empathy and practical steps to create a supportive environment for her.

First, it's crucial to communicate with her psychiatrist about the side effects of the medication. Sometimes, adjustments in dosage or a change in medication can help alleviate excessive drowsiness and other side effects. Encourage her to have an open dialogue with her psychiatrist about how she's feeling and any concerns she has regarding her treatment.

In addition to medical support, there are several strategies you can implement to help her regain a sense of routine and well-being:

Create a Gentle Routine: Establishing a consistent daily routine can help regulate her sleep patterns and reduce anxiety. Start with small, manageable changes. For instance, try waking her up at the same time every day, even on weekends, and encourage her to engage in light activities during the day.

Promote Physical Activity: Gentle exercise, such as walking, yoga, or stretching, can improve her mood and energy levels. Encourage her to engage in activities she enjoys, even if they are low-intensity.

Balanced Diet: Proper nutrition is essential for mental and physical health. Encourage her to have regular meals, even if they are small. Consider consulting a nutritionist to create a meal plan that caters to her needs and preferences.

Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, and progressive muscle relaxation can help reduce anxiety and improve sleep quality. Introducing her to these practices gradually can be beneficial.

Engage in Meaningful Activities: Encourage her to explore hobbies or activities that bring her joy and a sense of accomplishment. This could be anything from art and music to reading or spending time with pets.

Create a Supportive Environment: Ensure that she feels supported and understood. Open, non-judgmental communication can help her feel safe in expressing her feelings and concerns.

Gradual Changes: Remember that recovery is a gradual process. Celebrate small victories and be patient with setbacks. Each step forward, no matter how small, is progress.

Lastly, consider seeking the guidance of a therapist or counselor who specializes in anxiety and sleep disorders. They can provide tailored strategies and support to help your daughter navigate her challenges.

Your daughter's well-being is a priority, and with a compassionate, multi-faceted approach, she can begin to find relief and regain a sense of balance in her life.

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |106 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

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Relationship
Sir I have completed my 15 years marriage period. I loves my wife so well. Due to over love and affection i have doubted her that is costing our relationship and she asked me for mutual divorce suddenly in November 2023 She want to be a good friend of me only . We have a 14yrs daughter. At present she is with me as good friend only even i said sorry for hurting her. Please suggest how can i avoid divorce. Thank you sir
Ans: It's clear that your love and affection for your wife have always been genuine. However, doubts and insecurities can sometimes cast shadows even in the strongest relationships. Here are some steps to help you navigate this challenging situation and possibly mend the relationship:

1. Understanding the Root Cause
Reflect on what led to your doubts. Was it a specific incident, a pattern of behavior, or perhaps a deeper insecurity within yourself? Understanding the root cause can help in addressing the issue more effectively.

2. Open and Honest Communication
Sit down with your wife and have a candid conversation. Share your feelings and insecurities without placing blame. Listen to her perspective as well. Communication is key to rebuilding trust.

3. Seek Professional Help
Consider seeing a marriage counselor or therapist. They can provide a neutral space for both of you to express your feelings and work on the underlying issues. A professional can offer strategies and exercises to improve your relationship dynamics.

4. Rebuild Trust
Trust is the foundation of any relationship. Show her through your actions that you are committed to change. Be consistent, transparent, and reliable. Trust takes time to rebuild, so be patient.

5. Focus on Yourself
Work on your own emotional health and self-esteem. Engaging in activities that make you feel confident and fulfilled can help reduce insecurities and make you a better partner.

6. Respect Her Wishes
If she wants to be friends at this point, respect her wishes. Show her that you value her as a person and not just as your spouse. Sometimes, relationships can be mended when there is less pressure and more mutual respect.

7. Create Positive Experiences Together
Spend quality time together as friends. Engage in activities that you both enjoy and that can bring you closer. Positive shared experiences can rekindle feelings of love and affection.

8. Focus on Your Daughter
Your daughter needs both of you, regardless of the nature of your relationship. Co-parenting amicably and showing a united front can have a positive impact on her well-being. This, in turn, can bring you and your wife closer as you work together for your daughter's best interests.

9. Give It Time
Healing and rebuilding a relationship take time. Be patient and give each other the space needed to process emotions and experiences. Don't rush the process.

10. Accept the Possibility of Change
While it's important to work towards saving your marriage, also accept that the outcome may not be what you hope for. Sometimes, relationships change form, and it's essential to be prepared for all possibilities.

Remember, the journey of mending a relationship requires effort from both sides. By demonstrating genuine change and understanding, you may create an environment where love and trust can flourish once again.

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |106 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 13, 2024Hindi
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Vikrant Asked on - Jul 03, 2024 Hi Dear Sir /Mam one of my close friend he is 32 years old now married 6 years ago in 2018. he is in govt job and wife is MA, they have a son 5 years old. After around six months of marriage ,the problems started in relation in family, my friend tells her to respect and she listens to her parents only and her parents tell her to come to parental house at every time when a bit of misunderstanding happens in his family,& she leaves this continues and she lived there for six months then my friends father went to her parents house and advise her that's it's not good way your house is in low's house now daughter. And then she understands and came back with his father then after sometime, she again started querreling and threatened his mom that she will sucide and closed the doors ,later nothing happens and next night while chatting with my friends she threatens him while he was on his duty , that she will eat all pills together and will sucide..my friends got feared , then nothing happens later his father took her to his hoke next day . Them again she lived ther for 6 months around then his father again went and have a talk in between some elders and made her understand..then she again said sorry and came back to in law's house... Then after some days my friend take her with him to his duty place to keep her with himself , so that things can better but after few weeks there also she started doing same things and not caring the child and not making food , and telling husband that ,now I willl tell take revenge how u left me for six months at my home like that she fights with him there. He make her understand that's nobody is here let's live peacefully but said I know your parents are daily filling your ears, why do u talk to them ? talk to me only and give me your ATM I will go for shopping.. now I will do what I want ,I can't make food ,take me to restaurant etc ..she speaks loudly in colony ,my friend request her to not do this she then do more and abuse him and his family.. like wise things gone worse she threatens that 8 can make your family ruin ,I will confiscate your brother in rape case , nothing u can't do my friend gets very scared .. one day my friend went for duty then she calls him and tell him that I am throwing this child (Son) from roof now and cut the call ,my friend started crying there ,after all of that my friend shown some courage and file police complaint Then any how she went to parental home from around 2 years back she is there and living there ,now my friend says he doesn't want to live with her because he suffers the bad time with her & suffered from Disrespectful behaviour etc but he wants his son from her but now she says she will live with him but make a seperate house and leave your parents .. Now what can be done in this situation now how my friend can get seperate from her and get his son back ?
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