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Veeraraagavan
Veeraraagavan
Archana

Archana Deshpande31 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Mar 21, 2024

Asked on - Mar 02, 2024Hindi

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Career
I am a B.Com with 42 years of accounts experience. I am 71 years of age and working as a part time accountant . My wife wants me to anyway do something and get a job with higher salary as I am presnetly paid Rs.11000/- per month for working between 9.30AM and 1.30 PM. I am being pestered and forced. But not able to get an alternative job because of my age. Please advice
Ans: Veeraraagavanji, at the age of 71 yrs, you are doing a great job. You have job, you are working 9:30 AM to 1:30 AM and earning 11k, which is fantastic. At your age most ppl live a retired life. You have worked all your life, it's time for you to take it easy and enjoy doing things you like after your working hours, no one should pester you. Pls sit down with your wife and talk it out, communication is the key. How old is your wife? Does she work too?? Are there any money concerns? If there are money concerns then try taking classes at home on subjects that you like, accounts maybe for commerce graduates or Maths for young children. You can conduct classes online too.
It's time for you and your wife to live a happy life together and enjoy each other's company, you are lucky to have each other, my father in law is 82 and without a partner for the last 12 yrs. Cherish each other ...
Asked on - Mar 22, 2024 | Answered on Mar 26, 2024
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My wife is 64 years old and housewife but she has a small building gifted to her by her brother and two engineering units work there on rental basis of Rs.20000 totally per month. Though I have 42 years experience in accounts earlier to this company i worked on VAT. On joining this present company now it is GST and our company auditor handles it. Now my wife blames me why I am not conversant with GST. I am not able to get alternative job because of my age. Placement services dont entertain candidates above 45 to 50 years of age. Only alternative is to keep my ears closed and do my present job till I my company allows me to work. I am a father of two daughters, both of them have completed their college education got married and settled down. Now Only my wife and myself life in a rented house and my second daughter lives next to our house.
Ans: Whatever you have written here, can you pls sit down with your wife and explain it to her! You are already working and earning money. You and your wife at this stage in life deserve to be living a life of mutual love and respect! Talk to her and tell her so.. after raising two beautiful girls and having settled them well, you both deserve to live a life in peace!
If you still can learn about GST, no harm in it , right? Any learning will never go waste, moreover in today’s time you can learn anything from the internet!
Look at the reasons why your wife is nagging you, she must be unhappy somewhere, take care of her emotional needs and well being, praise her for the things she does for you or has done in the past! Communication is the key here, both of you deserve to live a happy life! Make her financially literate, both of you sit down and list out your needs and desires! Chalk out a plan to achieve them together, you both are a team, it’s time you work as a team against any problem that comes your way!!Remember, love, respect and communication is the key for a harmonious life ahead! All the best…
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Anu

Anu Krishna839 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 12, 2023

Asked on - Jun 07, 2023Hindi

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Relationship
I am 70 years old and even now working in a private company,and my wife is 64. We have 2 daughters who are educated married and settled down. On Sunday I was just casually talking to my wife about remembering my late parents and my late in laws. To that my wife suddenly commented that I had a few hot discussions with her long back and even my parents troubled her long long back. She says that because of all these I may not be born as a human being in my next birth. This makes me feel very sad because of this insulting comments of my wife. I do not know how to forget such hurting and stinging comments. Please also note that even today she does not maintain relationship with any of her relatives or even her own brothers.
Ans: Dear Veeraraagavan,
It is unfortunate that people bring up things from the past into the present moment and ruin what can be created NOW.
But it's possible that your wife wants to bring out the hurt caused to her in the past, now. What can anyone do? But if she isn't willing to set it aside, there is little that you can do to appeal to her. I am not qualified to say who will be born as what in the next life or whenever.
Maybe you can have one of those candid chats with her simply hearing her but you can keep aside her taunts of next lifetime etc as it does not hold any merit.
Her life's journey and evolution is perhaps what it is for her and just be supportive of that even if you don't agree with the choices that she has made including not being able to maintain relationships with her close family. It is what it is...
So, choose rebuilding your mind to align with hers and vice-versa and even if something that she says is hurtful, brush it away as she is hurting from the past. Smile and who knows she may someday let go of all that hurt with your silent, smiling care and support.

All the best!
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