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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 10, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Narendra Question by Narendra on May 10, 2024Hindi
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Hello Ulhas, Hope you are doing good. My current age 35, I am planning to invest as SIP 60K monthly for 15 years. My goal is 2 crore after 15 years. Below are the schemes I choose. Kindly review and suggest changes if any Midcap Fund Motilal Oswal Midcap Fund Direct-Growth 4K, Mahindra Manulife Mid Cap Fund Direct - Growth 4K, Smallcap Fund Axis small cap direct growth 4k, Canara robecco small cap 4K, quant small cap 4K, Nippon small cap 4K, Mid and Largecap Mirae Asset Emerging Bluechip fund 4K, Axis Growth Opportunities Fund Direct - Growth 4K, Multicap Mahindra Manulife Multi Cap Fund Direct - Growth 4K, HDFC Multi-Cap Fund Direct - Growth - 4K, Mirae Asset Multicap Fund Direct - Growth 4k, Canara Robeco Multi Cap Fund Direct - Growth 4K, Flexi Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund Direct-Growth 4K, Quant Flexi Cap Fund Direct-Growth 4K, Value Tata Equity PE Fund Direct-Growth - 4K

Ans: Hello,

It's great to hear about your investment plan. Let's review your chosen schemes and make some suggestions:

Midcap Funds (Motilal Oswal, Mahindra Manulife, Axis Small Cap, Canara Robecco, Quant, Nippon): Midcap and small-cap funds have the potential for high growth but come with higher volatility. Consider consolidating your investments into 2-3 well-performing midcap and small-cap funds to reduce overlap and manage risk better.
Mid and Large-cap (Mirae Asset Emerging Bluechip): This fund provides a blend of mid and large-cap exposure, offering stability and growth potential. It's a good choice for diversification.
Multicap Funds (Mahindra Manulife, HDFC, Mirae Asset, Canara Robeco): Multicap funds provide diversification across market segments and flexibility to capitalize on opportunities across market capitalizations. Your selection offers a good mix of well-established funds in this category.
Flexi Cap Funds (Parag Parikh, Quant): Flexi-cap funds offer flexibility to invest across market caps based on market conditions. Your chosen funds provide diversification and align with your investment strategy.
Value Fund (Tata Equity PE Fund): Value funds focus on undervalued stocks with the potential for long-term growth. Consider the performance track record and investment philosophy of this fund before investing.
Overall, your portfolio is well-diversified across various market segments, which is essential for managing risk and maximizing returns. However, having such a large number of funds may lead to over-diversification and complexity. Consider consolidating your investments into a more streamlined portfolio with a focus on quality funds with consistent performance track records.

There are some advantages to consider direct funds, and the cost savings can be significant in the long run. However, there are some potential benefits to using a regular MFD:
Advantages of Investing Through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD):
• Personalized Advice: MFDs can be helpful for beginners or those who lack investment knowledge. They can assess your risk tolerance, financial goals, and investment horizon to recommend suitable mutual funds. This personalized guidance can be valuable, especially if you're new to investing.
• Convenience: MFDs handle all the paperwork and transactions on your behalf, saving you time and effort. They can help with account setup, SIP registrations, and managing your portfolio across different funds.
• Investor Support: MFDs can be a point of contact for any questions or concerns you may have about your investments. They can provide ongoing support and guidance throughout your investment journey.

Regularly review your portfolio's performance and make necessary adjustments to stay aligned with your financial goals. Consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalized guidance tailored to your specific needs and objectives.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 20, 2024

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Hello Sir, Hope you are doing good. My current age - 35, I am planning to invest as SIP 60K monthly for 15 years. My goal is 2 crore after 15 years. Below are the schemes I choose. Kindly review and suggest changes if any Midcap Fund Motilal Oswal Midcap Fund Direct-Growth 4K, Mahindra Manulife Mid Cap Fund Direct - Growth 4K, Smallcap Fund Axis small cap direct growth 4k, Canara robecco small cap 4K, quant small cap 4K, Nippon small cap 4K, Mid and Largecap Mirae Asset Emerging Bluechip fund 4K, Axis Growth Opportunities Fund Direct - Growth 4K, Multicap Mahindra Manulife Multi Cap Fund Direct - Growth 4K, HDFC Multi-Cap Fund Direct - Growth - 4K, Mirae Asset Multicap Fund Direct - Growth 4k, Canara Robeco Multi Cap Fund Direct - Growth 4K, Flexi Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund Direct-Growth 4K, Quant Flexi Cap Fund Direct-Growth 4K, Value Tata Equity PE Fund Direct-Growth - 4K
Ans: Your proactive approach towards investing for your future financial goals is commendable. Let's review your selected schemes and suggest any necessary changes to align with your investment objectives.

Your commitment to systematic investing reflects a strong financial discipline and foresight towards achieving your long-term goals.

Assessing Scheme Selection
Evaluate the selected schemes based on their historical performance, fund manager expertise, expense ratios, and portfolio composition to ensure alignment with your investment goals.

Midcap and Smallcap Exposure
Consider the risk associated with midcap and smallcap funds, which can be higher compared to large-cap funds. Review your allocation and ensure it matches your risk tolerance.

Diversification
Ensure proper diversification across fund categories such as midcap, smallcap, multicap, and flexicap to mitigate portfolio risk and capture growth opportunities across market segments.

Consolidation and Optimization
Consider consolidating your portfolio to avoid over-diversification and optimize returns. Focus on high-quality funds with a proven track record and strong fundamentals.

Reviewing Multicap and Flexicap Funds
Evaluate the performance and consistency of multicap and flexicap funds to ensure they effectively capitalize on market opportunities and adapt to changing market conditions.

Monitoring and Review
Regularly monitor the performance of your portfolio and review fund selection periodically to make necessary adjustments based on changing market dynamics and your evolving financial goals.

Final Thoughts
By reviewing your portfolio composition, consolidating funds where necessary, and ensuring proper diversification across fund categories, you can optimize your SIP investments to achieve your long-term financial objectives effectively.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 08, 2024

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Money
Hello Sir, Hope you are doing good. My current age 35, I am planning to invest as SIP 60K monthly for 15 years. My goal is 2 crore after 15 years. Below are the schemes I choose. Kindly review and suggest changes if any Midcap Fund Motilal Oswal Midcap Fund Direct-Growth 4K, Mahindra Manulife Mid Cap Fund Direct - Growth 4K, Smallcap Fund Axis small cap direct growth 4k, Canara robecco small cap 4K, quant small cap 4K, Nippon small cap 4K, Mid and Largecap Mirae Asset Emerging Bluechip fund 4K, Axis Growth Opportunities Fund Direct - Growth 4K, Multicap Mahindra Manulife Multi Cap Fund Direct - Growth 4K, HDFC Multi-Cap Fund Direct - Growth - 4K, Mirae Asset Multicap Fund Direct - Growth 4k, Canara Robeco Multi Cap Fund Direct - Growth 4K, Flexi Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund Direct-Growth 4K, Quant Flexi Cap Fund Direct-Growth 4K, Value Tata Equity PE Fund Direct-Growth - 4K
Ans: Your proactive approach to investing through SIPs is commendable, and your portfolio allocation reflects a diversified strategy across various market segments. Let's review your chosen schemes and provide some suggestions for optimization:
Midcap Funds:
• Motilal Oswal Midcap Fund and Mahindra Manulife Mid Cap Fund offer exposure to mid-sized companies with growth potential. Ensure you're comfortable with the higher volatility associated with midcap stocks.
• Consider consolidating your investments into one or two well-performing midcap funds to streamline your portfolio and reduce overlap.
Smallcap Funds:
• Axis Small Cap, Canara Robeco Small Cap, Quant Small Cap, and Nippon Small Cap focus on smaller companies with higher growth potential but also higher risk. Be prepared for fluctuations in returns.
• As small-cap stocks can be more volatile, consider limiting exposure to a few select funds to mitigate risk and ensure proper diversification.
Mid and Largecap Funds:
• Mirae Asset Emerging Bluechip Fund and Axis Growth Opportunities Fund provide exposure to both mid and large-cap stocks, offering a balanced approach.
• Review the overlap between these funds and your midcap and smallcap holdings to avoid duplication and maintain proper diversification.
Multicap Funds:
• Mahindra Manulife Multi Cap Fund, HDFC Multi-Cap Fund, Mirae Asset Multicap Fund, and Canara Robeco Multi Cap Fund offer flexibility to invest across market segments.
• Since these funds invest across large, mid, and small-cap stocks, they provide diversification within a single fund category.
Flexi Cap and Value Funds:
• Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund, Quant Flexi Cap Fund, and Tata Equity PE Fund follow a flexible investment approach, allowing fund managers to invest across market segments based on prevailing market conditions.
• Value-oriented funds like Tata Equity PE Fund focus on stocks trading at a discount to their intrinsic value, potentially offering attractive long-term returns.
Direct Funds:

• Direct funds allow investors to purchase mutual fund units directly from the asset management company, bypassing intermediaries like distributors or brokers. This can result in lower expense ratios compared to regular funds, as there are no distributor commissions involved.

• However, direct fund investors are responsible for conducting their own research, selecting suitable funds, and monitoring their investments. This requires a certain level of financial literacy and investment expertise to make informed decisions.

• On the other hand, investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) who holds the necessary credentials and expertise can provide valuable guidance and support. A CFP can help investors navigate the complexities of the financial markets, select appropriate investment strategies, and optimize their portfolio allocations based on individual goals and risk tolerance.

Suggestions:
1. Simplify your portfolio by consolidating investments into fewer funds to reduce complexity and minimize overlap.
2. Monitor the performance of individual funds regularly and consider reallocating investments based on fund performance and market conditions.
3. Maintain a balanced allocation across different market segments to manage risk effectively and optimize returns.
4. Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to receive personalized advice tailored to your financial goals and risk profile.
Overall, your investment plan demonstrates a disciplined approach towards wealth accumulation. By staying informed, regularly reviewing your portfolio, and seeking professional guidance when needed, you're well-positioned to achieve your financial objectives. Keep up the good work!

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 20, 2024

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Hello Sir, Hope you are doing good. My current age 35, I am planning to invest as SIP 60K monthly for 15 years. My goal is 2 crore after 15 years. Below are the schemes I choose. Kindly review and suggest changes if any Midcap Fund Motilal Oswal Midcap Fund Direct-Growth 4K, Mahindra Manulife Mid Cap Fund Direct - Growth 4K, Smallcap Fund Axis small cap direct growth 4k, Canara robecco small cap 4K, quant small cap 4K, Nippon small cap 4K, Mid and Largecap Mirae Asset Emerging Bluechip fund 4K, Axis Growth Opportunities Fund Direct - Growth 4K, Multicap Mahindra Manulife Multi Cap Fund Direct - Growth 4K, HDFC Multi-Cap Fund Direct - Growth - 4K, Mirae Asset Multicap Fund Direct - Growth 4k, Canara Robeco Multi Cap Fund Direct - Growth 4K, Flexi Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund Direct-Growth 4K, Quant Flexi Cap Fund Direct-Growth 4K, Value Tata Equity PE Fund Direct-Growth - 4K
Ans: Reviewing and Optimizing Your Mutual Fund Portfolio
It's great to hear from you! Let's review your chosen mutual fund schemes and ensure they align with your investment goals and risk profile.

Acknowledging Your Investment Goals
Genuine Compliments: Your proactive approach towards investing for your future is truly commendable, especially at the age of 35.

Empathy and Understanding: I understand that achieving a corpus of 2 crore in 15 years is a significant financial goal, and it requires a carefully crafted investment strategy.

Evaluating Selected Schemes
Diversification: Your selection of funds across different categories reflects a desire for diversification, which is crucial for managing risk.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds: While direct funds offer lower expense ratios, managing multiple funds directly can be time-consuming and may require expertise.

Benefits of Regular Funds Investing through MFD with CFP Credential: Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) who specializes in mutual funds can provide professional guidance and simplify the investment process.

Optimizing Your Portfolio
Consolidation: Consider consolidating your portfolio to reduce overlap and streamline management. Focus on quality funds with strong track records.

Risk Management: Given the aggressive nature of mid-cap and small-cap funds, ensure they align with your risk tolerance and time horizon.

Balanced Allocation: Aim for a balanced allocation across large-cap, mid-cap, and multi-cap funds to mitigate risk and capture growth opportunities across market segments.

Conclusion
By optimizing your mutual fund portfolio with a focus on diversification, risk management, and professional guidance from a Certified Financial Planner, you can increase the likelihood of achieving your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6971 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 20, 2024

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Hello Nikunj, Hope you are doing good. My current age 35, I am planning to invest as SIP 60K monthly for 15 years. My goal is 2 crore after 15 years. Below are the schemes I choose. Kindly review and suggest changes if any Midcap Fund Motilal Oswal Midcap Fund Direct-Growth 4K, Mahindra Manulife Mid Cap Fund Direct - Growth 4K, Smallcap Fund Axis small cap direct growth 4k, Canara robecco small cap 4K, quant small cap 4K, Nippon small cap 4K, Mid and Largecap Mirae Asset Emerging Bluechip fund 4K, Axis Growth Opportunities Fund Direct - Growth 4K, Multicap Mahindra Manulife Multi Cap Fund Direct - Growth 4K, HDFC Multi-Cap Fund Direct - Growth - 4K, Mirae Asset Multicap Fund Direct - Growth 4k, Canara Robeco Multi Cap Fund Direct - Growth 4K, Flexi Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund Direct-Growth 4K, Quant Flexi Cap Fund Direct-Growth 4K, Value Tata Equity PE Fund Direct-Growth - 4K
Ans: Hello Nikunj, hope you are doing well. Your investment plan is ambitious and well thought out. Investing ?60,000 monthly with a goal of ?2 crore in 15 years is achievable with a strategic approach.

Current Scheme Selection
You have chosen a diverse mix of midcap, smallcap, mid and largecap, multicap, flexicap, and value funds. This diversification is commendable as it spreads risk across various segments of the market.

Analysis of Current Portfolio
Midcap Funds: These funds offer substantial growth potential but come with higher risk. Your allocation here is balanced.

Smallcap Funds: Smallcaps can yield high returns but are volatile. A ?24,000 allocation is quite aggressive.

Mid and Largecap Funds: These funds provide a balance of stability and growth, which is essential for a long-term portfolio.

Multicap Funds: These funds invest across various market caps, offering diversification within a single fund.

Flexicap Funds: Flexicap funds are versatile and can adapt to market conditions, offering both growth and stability.

Value Funds: These funds invest in undervalued stocks, aiming for long-term growth.

Recommendations for Adjustment
Your portfolio has a strong base, but some adjustments can enhance its performance and stability.

Reduce Smallcap Exposure

Smallcap funds are volatile and carry higher risk. Reducing your exposure slightly can help balance risk and return.

Increase Flexicap and Multicap Allocation

Flexicap and multicap funds offer better diversification and can adjust to market conditions. Increasing their allocation can enhance stability.

Consider Adding a Balanced Advantage Fund

Balanced Advantage Funds (BAFs) adjust their equity and debt allocation based on market conditions. This can provide a cushion during market downturns.

Regular Portfolio Review

Review your portfolio every 6-12 months. This ensures your investments stay aligned with your goals and market conditions.

Disadvantages of Direct Investing
Lack of Professional Guidance

Direct investing in mutual funds without a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can lead to suboptimal fund selection and allocation.

Emotional Decision-Making

Investors often make emotional decisions during market fluctuations, leading to potential losses.

Time-Consuming

Managing a portfolio requires time and expertise. A CFP can save you time and provide professional insights.

Complexity in Tax Management

Managing taxes on your investments can be complex. A CFP can help optimize tax strategies, ensuring you retain more of your returns.

Importance of Certified Financial Planner (CFP)
A CFP can provide personalized advice, aligning your investments with your financial goals and risk tolerance. They can help you navigate market volatility and make informed decisions.

Strategic Steps to Achieve Your Goal
Increase SIP Annually

Increase your SIP contributions by 10% every six months. This leverages the power of compounding and inflation-adjusted growth.

Emergency Fund

Maintain an emergency fund to cover 6-12 months of expenses. This ensures you don't withdraw from your investments during emergencies.

Diversify Across Asset Classes

While mutual funds are great, consider diversifying into other asset classes like debt funds or international funds for global exposure.

Stay Disciplined

Stick to your investment plan. Avoid reacting to short-term market movements. Consistency is key to long-term wealth creation.

Conclusion
Your goal of ?2 crore in 15 years is achievable with strategic adjustments and disciplined investing. Consider reducing smallcap exposure, increasing flexicap and multicap allocations, and consulting a CFP for professional guidance.

Final Note
Your commitment to a well-planned SIP strategy is commendable. With regular reviews and adjustments, you are on the right path to achieving your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Asked by Anonymous - Sep 15, 2024Hindi
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I am 50 years old and got married 15 years ago. I am a very spontaneous sort of a guy and enjoy life, partying etc. I was also very active socially.My wife being the complete opposite put a stop to all that once we got married. She also does not display any affection and has no interest in physical intimacy. She is just concerned with her housework.We also have lot of differences in mental attitude & intellectual abilities. At no stage will we ever seperate, however, I am unhappy with her nature. She has lot of friends, however is always at daggers drawn with in her in laws. We had to stay separately for 6 months, and I tried looking for love else where, however after a couple of months, I realised, that I missed her. I am in a quandary. Despite requesting her to work on our relationship, I get no response. Please advise on how to proceed.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand you are in a tough spot. But it's nice to see that after all those years of differences, you still have genuine feelings for her. I strongly suggest considering marriage counseling. From your description of your marriage, it seems to be there have been issues from the very beginning of it. It's been too long and now those issues must've become deep-rooted. Seeing a professional can be a game-changer. They can guide you out of this slump more methodically and help you navigate the emotions you are feeling right now. It can also help you understand the reasons for your wife's disinterest and handle it better.

Best Wishes

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Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

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Asked by Anonymous - Nov 02, 2024Hindi
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Hii, I have an love marriage after 9 years of dating and 6 years, 2 children post marriage, my little one is 11 months old now. My husband has an affair upto chatting to someone in his company, his junior but in different department, when my Lil one was 1 month old, we had in a rough patch then due to child birth and family drama. When I saw it and confronted him, he said he is sorry and won't do it again, we had multiple fights for 3-4 months after then due to same reason, but he mostly listen and consol. It's been a lot of mental torture for me. I love my husband a lot and he is a good person, but sometimes sill I see her msg in his phone asking for small helps or casual msg. She is also married. I am not sure my husband deletes msg or what, I am not able to get over this. Before it, this is was preety much a good relationship. I am highly educated and independent women. I don't want anything form my husband apart from love. What should I do, whenever I tell him I want to just leave and let him have his life, he won't let me somehow. We are having a good physical relationship 2-4 times a week( just to tell where we are). Please help me...I can't overcome that he is making fool of me...
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry to hear you are in such a tough spot. I would suggest considering marriage counseling. A professional who can help you both tackle these issues would be helpful in this situation. I understand that it was his mistake and he needs to put the effort to make you trust him again, but since you are still together, you will also have to put in the effort to let it. I know it is difficult and that's where marriage counselor comes in. They can help you navigate these feelings. Moreover, if he is indeed hiding something, therapy can help that come out in the open.

Hope this helps.

...Read more

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Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 10, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, Me(M38) and wife(F37) happily married for 12 years and blessed with one daughter. Partner(F28)continuing friendship with a person[M] who had crush on her before marriage considered emotional infidelity? Me(M38) and wife(F37) happily married for 12 years and blessed with one daughter. My wife is having friendship (strictly platonic) with a guy from her 10tlh grade (same class). Before our marriage (she may be doing her college, our relationship just started may be 2 weeks) this guy told her he has genuine interest in her and he want to take the relationship further if she wants, she said she is not interested in a relationship and she got committed, she always saw him as a friend, no other feelings for him and we can be friends if you don't bring any romantic interest again. He never took this talk again ever after and happy to be a friend. They are talking as friends. She got married to me. He also got married. They still do chats once in a month. She introduced me to him and visited his home when we visited his city. He also came to our home once (me and my family was there). She used to update me with chat she had with him and the content they are chatting. I am ok with that When we were talking about our school life and college life 2 years before. She said this guy had crush on her during her college days. I asked her, why did not she tell me this info till now. She said it is not purposely, she does not feel the need to do as the person is not in-appropriate with her and continuing as good friend as promised after she rejected his proposal. I don’t want to create any unnecessary issues as I don’t have any felling or so with him. That time I checked their chats completely, it’s about update about their common friends, their recent travel, their job, meditation courses and the books they read recently. I haven’t seen any flirting or romantic message from either of them. So I am perfectly fine with it and had no problems. I recently came to know about the concept of emotional cheating which is very new to me. Before that cheating to me is only flirting, sexeting and physical sex. I have asked for advice in redddit.com in infedility sub forum about emotional cheating/ emotion affair. There persons are advising like even having friendship with someone who had crush on you is emotional cheating as it is indirectly leading them on you. So with an omission of lie he had crush on her and indirectly leading him on you wife was emotionally cheating on you. This is very much equal to cheating. I do have lots of friends in other gender, but no one had crush on me. Does this count as emotional cheating/affair as she did not mention he had crush on her before marriage? I am little depressed and not able to spend quality time with my wife who is in postpartum depression and take care of our daughter properly as before. Do you guys advise me how to navigate this situation?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Are you really going to ruin your happy relationship based on some new term you have learned recently? Emotional cheating and many more terms of the kind will come and go, what truly matters is the truth. She is merely friends with this guy and for your peace of mind, you have even checked their conversations- what part of it looks like cheating to you? If tomorrow, some random person projecting their own insecurities claims that a man speaking to a woman is some "new form" of cheating, would you start believing that? My point is that these are just random opinions of some people- it isn't the ultimate truth. The entire context matters. This man had a crush on your wife, she rejected it, and now they are just friends. I find absolutely no misconduct or infidelity in this. The fact that none of your friends had a crush on you does not factor in at all. Moreover, your wife is in postpartum depression- that should be your biggest concern but here you are, giving more importance to the random 2 AM thoughts of some people you don't even know. Please rethink if you are being fair to your wife- the mother of your child.

Best Wishes

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |395 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 26, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I (30M) am looking for Arranged Marriage Prospects. My Family has found a Prospect (27F) who seems like a Good Match, she's Well Educated, Earning Well & from the same Community. I haven't yet met her in Person, but connected with her on Social Media Platforms & interacting regularly. Recently, I scrolled through her Instagram Profile (It's a Public Profile). She seems to be a very Sociable Person, she has shared many Photos of herself, Partying/Travelling along with her Friends. My Problem is that she seems to like Wearing Clothes which are Revealing. She has shared many Photos/Videos, in which she's skimpily dressed (including some Bikini Photos at Beach/Swimming Pool). She also has a Pierced Navel Ring & Tattoos on some Private Parts like Chest, Hips, Thighs & Lower Back, which she flaunts proudly on Social Media. Though, I am not Judging her Character, based on her Choice of Clothing, but seeing all these made me a little Uncomfortable, as I am a very Modest & Simple Person myself. I have not discussed this issue with my Parents, as they have a very good opinion about her (which I don't want to Ruin). But I've discussed with some of my closest Friends (of both Genders) & some of them have Chided me for being so Judgemental. They suggested me to meet her atleast once in person, to understand what's her Character/Personality like. Shall I give it a try or Reject her Politely at this stage itself, without wasting any more Time (either her or mine)? Or am I being too Superficial to Judge a Woman, just based on her Social Media Profile, without even meeting her once, personally (This is what some of my closest Female Friends opined)? Please suggest me how to proceed with this Prospect in Arranged Marriage.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I know it might come off as you being judgmental of her choice of dressing, but you have a right to form an opinion in your mind, especially since in your case, you might be marrying the person. As long as you are not making up your mind about her based on her dressing, forcing her to dress the way she wants, or thrusting your opinion on her, it's alright. It's human nature to be a bit jerked by the choices others make that we won't make ourselves. Having said that, I believe meeting her once in person can be good for you; you might have a new perspective- both about her and on life. But no one can force you to do either. My suggestion is that do what you think is right- if you are sure you will reject this alliance based on her choice of clothes, even if she is the nicest person on the face of the earth, meeting up might be a waste of time. But if you think you are open to changing your mind, go for it.

I would also like for you to remember one important point if things work out between the two of you- do not try to push your opinions on dressing and change the way she is after getting married. That would not be fair. In case, you start hoping that she will change and fit YOUR mold of the perfect woman, I would strongly suggest keeping that thought in check.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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