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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7072 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 26, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Abhi Question by Abhi on Feb 22, 2024Hindi
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Hello Guruji, Query regarding pension amount I joined a MNC private company in 1993 and resigned in2015 , I got a pension certificate which says I will get a pension of ?6500 pm. Post that I went abroad for 4 years and returned in 2019. I joined an Indian company for 1 year till 2020 with a salary of ?4L pm basic salary + other allowances. Post that I joined an MNC for 3.5 years , which ended last month at a basic salary of ?4.5 L pm. How much pension amount can I expect and from when ? I am 53+ years of age. Will it be both combined or how ? Please help regards Abhi

Ans: Maximizing Pension Benefits: A Comprehensive Guide
Navigating pension benefits can be complex, but with strategic planning, you can optimize your retirement income. Let's delve into your situation and explore the potential pension amount you can expect.

Evaluating Pension Eligibility
Assessing Service Duration

Determine your total service duration with your previous employer from 1993 to 2015, spanning over 22 years.
Confirm the pension eligibility criteria based on your service duration with the company.
Understanding Pension Certificate

Review the pension certificate indicating a monthly pension of Rs. 6,500, provided upon your resignation in 2015.
Understand the terms and conditions outlined in the certificate regarding eligibility and payment structure.
Considering Post-Retirement Employment
International Employment

Take into account your employment abroad for four years, from 2015 to 2019, which may impact your pension entitlements.
Assess whether your international employment affects your eligibility or pension calculation.
Subsequent Indian Employment

Factor in your employment with an Indian company from 2019 to 2020, followed by a tenure with an MNC until last month.
Consider how your post-retirement employment affects your pension entitlements and calculations.
Determining Pension Amount
Combining Pension Entitlements

Combine the pension entitlement from your previous employment with the pension from your subsequent Indian employment.
Evaluate if the combined pension amount aligns with the terms specified in your pension certificate.
Calculating Pension

Calculate the total pension amount considering both periods of employment and their respective pension entitlements.
Verify if the calculated pension aligns with the pension certificate's stipulations and your service duration.
Seeking Clarifications and Guidance
Seeking Clarifications

Reach out to the pension authorities or your previous employer to clarify any doubts regarding your pension entitlements.
Request detailed explanations regarding the calculation methodology and factors influencing your pension amount.
Consulting a Certified Financial Planner (CFP)

Seek guidance from a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) specializing in retirement planning and pension benefits.
Receive expert advice on maximizing your pension entitlements and optimizing your retirement income.
Planning Ahead
Retirement Income Strategy

Develop a comprehensive retirement income strategy considering your pension entitlements, savings, and potential sources of income.
Ensure your retirement plan aligns with your financial goals, lifestyle preferences, and long-term objectives.
Regular Monitoring

Regularly monitor your pension account statements and retirement income sources to track your financial progress.
Stay informed about any updates or changes in pension regulations that may affect your retirement benefits.
Conclusion
By assessing your service duration, understanding your pension entitlements, and considering your post-retirement employment, you can determine the pension amount you can expect. Seeking clarifications, consulting with a CFP, and planning your retirement income strategy will empower you to make informed decisions and secure your financial future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7072 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 23, 2024Hindi
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Money
I worked in Private company 1991 till 2007 after I stop working in india, since 2007 after me working in Abroad how much should I expect my pension amount after my age 55 as my Basic salary and D.A.that last period is as Basic 8510 and D.A 6051 .Pls can I know how much could I receive pension. At present date my age 53 now. Thanks
Ans: First, let me commend you for planning ahead for your retirement. Given your work history in India and abroad, understanding your pension can be complex. Let's break it down to make it simple and clear.

Eligibility for Pension
You mentioned working in a private company in India from 1991 to 2007. The Employees' Pension Scheme (EPS) of 1995, managed by the Employees' Provident Fund Organisation (EPFO), would cover this period. To be eligible for a pension under EPS, an employee must complete at least 10 years of service and attain the age of 50 for early pension or 58 for regular pension.

Service Period Calculation
You have worked in India for 16 years (1991 to 2007). This makes you eligible for the EPS pension since you meet the minimum requirement of 10 years.

Pension Calculation Method
The EPS pension is calculated based on the pensionable salary and the number of years of service. The pensionable salary is the average of the last 60 months of basic salary and dearness allowance (DA).

Understanding Pensionable Salary
From your information:

Basic Salary: Rs. 8,510
Dearness Allowance (DA): Rs. 6,051
So, your pensionable salary would be the sum of your basic salary and DA.

Early Pension at Age 55
Since you are currently 53 and considering early pension at 55, there is a reduction factor applied. The pension amount is reduced by a percentage for each year before 58.

Additional Considerations
Inflation and Future Value
It is important to consider the impact of inflation on your pension amount. While the pension might seem sufficient now, its value will decrease over time due to inflation. You might want to explore other investment options to supplement your pension income.

Savings and Investments
Since you have worked abroad, you might have accumulated savings and investments there. It's essential to factor in these amounts when planning your retirement. Diversifying your investments can help ensure a stable and sufficient income during retirement.

Health Insurance
Make sure you have adequate health insurance coverage. Healthcare costs can be significant in retirement, and having insurance can protect you from unexpected medical expenses.

Planning for Retirement
Given your current age of 53, you have a few more years to plan and save for your retirement. Here are some steps you can take:

Assess Your Financial Situation
Evaluate your current savings and investments.
Calculate your future income needs, considering inflation.
Diversify Your Investments
Invest in a mix of low-risk and high-risk options.
Consider mutual funds for long-term growth.
Review Your Insurance
Ensure you have adequate health insurance.
Consider a term life insurance policy if you don't have one.
Create a Retirement Budget
Estimate your monthly expenses in retirement.
Include costs for healthcare, travel, and leisure activities.
Final Insights
Your pension from EPS will provide a basic level of income. However, considering inflation and future financial needs, it's crucial to have a diversified investment portfolio. Planning now will help ensure a comfortable and secure retirement.

Thank you for your detailed query. Your foresight in planning for retirement is admirable. By following these steps and regularly reviewing your financial plan, you can achieve a financially secure retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7072 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 23, 2024Hindi
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Money
I worked in Private company 1991 till 2007 after I stop working in india, since 2007 after me working in Abroad how much should I expect my pension amount after my age 55 as my Basic salary and D.A.that last period is as Basic 8510 and D.A 6051 .Pls can I know how much could I receive pension. At present date my age 53 now. Thanks
Ans: Estimating Your Pension Amount from EPS
Understanding Your Financial Journey
First, it's commendable that you are planning for your retirement. Knowing the specifics of your employment history helps in estimating your pension accurately. You worked in a private company in India from 1991 to 2007 and have been working abroad since then. Your last drawn basic salary was Rs. 8,510 and Dearness Allowance (D.A.) was Rs. 6,051.

Basics of Employee Pension Scheme (EPS)
Eligibility:

Service Period: Minimum of 10 years of service is required to be eligible for the pension.
Age: Pension starts at the age of 58, but you can opt for early pension at 55 with a reduced amount.

Pensionable Salary:

It is the average salary of the last 60 months before exiting the EPS scheme.
For simplicity, let’s assume your last drawn basic + D.A. as the pensionable salary, which is Rs. 14,561 (8510 + 6051).
Pensionable Service:

Your service period is from 1991 to 2007, which is 16 years.
Early Pension Reduction
If you opt for early pension at 55, there is a reduction of 4% per year before 58. So, if you start at 55, it’s a reduction of 12% in total.

Calculating Your Pension
Without Reduction (at age 58):
Monthly Pension =(14561×16 / 70)=Rs. 3,327

With Early Pension Reduction (at age 55):
12% reduction for starting 3 years early:

Reduced Pension=3327×0.88=Rs. 2,928

Factors to Consider
Inflation: The calculated amount may seem small due to inflation over the years.

Additional Savings: Consider building a supplementary retirement corpus through other investment avenues.

Current Employment: Check if your current employment abroad provides any pension benefits or savings plans.

Recommendations for Financial Security
Mutual Funds:

Equity Mutual Funds: Invest in equity mutual funds for long-term growth to supplement your pension.
Debt Funds: These provide stability and reduce overall portfolio risk.
Systematic Investment Plan (SIP):

Discipline: Start a SIP to ensure disciplined investing.
Diversification: Allocate investments across different mutual fund categories for risk mitigation.
Reassess LIC Policy:

Surrender: Consider surrendering any traditional LIC policies and reinvesting in higher-return mutual funds.
Term Insurance: Opt for term insurance for adequate life cover at a lower premium.
Emergency Fund:

Essential: Set aside 6-12 months’ worth of expenses in a liquid fund for emergencies.
Regular Review:

Monitor Investments: Periodically review and adjust your portfolio based on market conditions and personal circumstances.
Seek Professional Advice: Consult a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to optimise your investment strategy.
Conclusion
With your pensionable service and the pension formula, your estimated pension amount at age 55 is approximately Rs. 2,928 per month. This amount is relatively modest, so it’s crucial to supplement it with additional savings and investments. By investing in mutual funds through SIPs, maintaining an emergency fund, and considering term insurance, you can build a secure financial future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7072 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 16, 2024

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Good day Sir, I am working in a MNC company for last 17 years. I am going to retire 30 th January 2025. My Basis salary is Rs 28089/- & my contribution to PF is Rs 3371/- per month & as per procedure same amount also contribute from my employer towards my PF account. I have joined this organisation on 10 th Dec 2010. & expect a contribution nearly Rs 190000 in my Employees Pensoins Scheme. Request what will be my my monthly pension after retirement.
Ans: Since you've been working in the organization since 2010, you'll be eligible for a monthly pension from this scheme.

The pension amount is calculated based on your service years and average salary during the last five years of employment. The maximum salary considered for this calculation is Rs 15,000, irrespective of your actual salary.

Pension Calculation
For your case, the pension amount under EPS can be estimated using the following factors:

Service Years: 14 years (from December 2010 to January 2025)
Average Salary: Rs 15,000 (since it is capped under EPS)
The formula used by EPS for calculation is:

Pension Amount = (Service Years) * (Average Salary) / 70

So, based on this formula, your pension is calculated as:

Monthly Pension = 14 * Rs 15,000 / 70 = Rs 3,000 per month (approximately)

This amount is an estimation and may vary slightly depending on other factors considered by the EPS at the time of your retirement.

Provident Fund Contribution
Your contribution and your employer’s contribution towards the PF will also create a significant corpus. With 17 years of service, the accumulated amount in your PF account should be substantial. Once you retire, you can either withdraw this amount or opt for periodic payouts to supplement your pension.

Recommendations for Post-Retirement Financial Planning
Maximize PF Benefits: Ensure you withdraw your PF in a manner that maximizes your benefits. If you don't need a lump sum, consider periodic withdrawals.

Invest Wisely: Invest your PF withdrawal in diversified mutual funds to generate a stable post-retirement income. A Certified Financial Planner can guide you in selecting the right funds based on your risk tolerance and financial goals.

Health Coverage: Ensure you have adequate health insurance to cover medical expenses post-retirement. Relying solely on pension and savings might not be enough for unforeseen medical costs.

Budget Planning: Create a detailed budget for your post-retirement life. Factor in regular expenses, medical costs, and leisure activities. This will help you manage your finances efficiently.

Consider Professional Guidance: As you approach retirement, professional financial advice becomes more crucial. Consulting a Certified Financial Planner will ensure that your retirement funds are managed optimally.

Finally
Your pension from the EPS will provide a steady income, but it may not be enough to cover all your expenses. Therefore, it’s crucial to plan ahead, invest wisely, and ensure that your financial future is secure.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

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Ravi Mittal  |428 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 15, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am a 25 year old girl. I have good job and happy career wise. I am in a relationship with a boy who is very career oriented, and runs from the marriage topic also. My parents are now behind to me to get married. I am also interested in getting married and settle in my. When I told my boyfriend about this. He gets furious. He don’t want to communicate with me on this. He don’t give any attention to my problem. He says if you really love me then you will love and you will do whatever needed to be done. Now everything is on me.I am very confused what to do. I can’t tell my parents about him, as he is not ready. I also have a fear, that this boy is not going to marry me, so am I leaving good boys which my parents are showing me. Am I already late...what if I don’t get anyone, will I have to compromise in my life If I will delay. Please help!!
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let me start with the most important thing- you are far from late. You are only 25; I would say this is your time to focus on your career and live a little. But if you are ready for marriage, then that is great too. But do not ever think that it's too late. It isn't even a little late. If anything, in today's day and age, it's early.

Now coming to your boyfriend- have you ever asked him if he has any plans to get married or if he intends to continue this relationship without ever committing to marriage? It's important that you discuss this. And his dialogue, "if you really love me then you will love and you will do whatever needed to be done" doesn't make any sense because you can tell him the same. I suggest you speak to him openly and let him know that you want to get married- if not right now, but somewhere down the line you want marriage. If his intentions are not the same, he should let you know so that you can move on and find someone who shares the same outlook as you. And, to be honest, not paying attention to your problems is concerning. In a relationship, two people should help each other out in times of trouble.

Please have the talk and reconsider the relationship according to how it goes.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

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Ravi Mittal  |428 Answers  |Ask -

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Ravi Mittal  |428 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 21, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I (27M) have recently started searching for prospects through Arranged Marriage Platforms. I got connected with a Lady (25F) & we seemed to be getting along quite well, through chatting & phone calls. When we were planning to meet in person, for our first Date, she picked a place which is one of the most expensive ones in our City & just a single Date over there may cost us around ?10 Thousand. Though, I am earning pretty well (?30Lakh/Annum), I am reluctant to spend so much amount on our First Date, whilst we are still in the process of getting to know each other. If I'd been Married to her, I'd be willing to spend that much for celebrating our Wedding Anniversary. But this is just our First Date & I am not even sure whether we'd be getting Married or not. The Date is scheduled for next Month & I'm still in Dilemma, whether I should request her to meet up at a more affordable venue or ask her to split the expenses, equally or proportionate to our Earning (She earns just around ?6 Lakh/Annum). I'm afraid that being so Straight-forward & upfront about Money Matters, at this stage, might give her a negative impression about me. She seems to be having a lot of Materialistic Expectations from me, as I earn much more than her & she has been hinting me about her expectations such as Expensive Gifts & Vacations abroad. Even though I am a person who's very cautious & disciplined with Money, I'd be glad to spend generously, for the happiness of my Life Partner, but not at this stage, when we haven't even committed to each other. Please suggest me, how can I handle this situation without coming off as too miserly? Moreover, I'm also planning to discuss some important matters, such as how we'd be handling our Finances in the Future. But I am worried, whether it would be appropriate to bring up this matter, in our very first personal meet-up? I'm afraid that she might Judge me as too Money-minded & I might lose out on a suitable match. Please Help me.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your concerns are completely valid. Splurging, especially at this stage, is unnecessary. Good connections can be built anywhere; expensive places play no part in it. Also, being disciplined about money is the right approach.

I understand that you are worried about coming off miserly, but you are not. You are merely being responsible. You can suggest another more affordable place and see how she reacts. If she is okay with it, then great. If not, then you should rethink this match. You don't want to marry someone who is in it for the money. Now, coming to discussing how to split the finances, I would suggest you wait a bit. A first date might not be the right place for it. If all goes well, and you think this woman can be a suitable match, bring it up politely on the second or third date, to have clarity on it early on. For instance, you can casually start by giving an example of a friend who recently got married- something like, "Rohan's wife takes care of the groceries and stuff, while he pays off the bill." And then mention that you were wondering how you two should split it if you happen to get married. It is a reasonable question and should not show you off as money-minded. It's always best to discuss these important matters in the initial stages to avoid any conflict in the future.

Hope this helps!

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Ravi Mittal  |428 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 20, 2024
Relationship
Hello, I am married for 4 years. And someone from my office loves me. He wants me to love him also even if I am married. That office colleague take too much efforts for me, he listens everything about me, he cares about me. But my husband only focused on his work. So I want love, that boy is the best for the love. But loving another man even if you have husband is cheating. I don't know but I feel that I want both of them and I am confused about it. I also love that man from my office. I am so much confused.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you are feeling undervalued by your husband but the "I want both of them" approach has never worked out well for anyone, especially in an exclusive relationship. You have a few options here-
You speak to your husband about how the lack of attention from him is affecting you and work on it with him.
Tell him openly about this man and let him know that there's a slight chance that you might develop feelings for him if your husband continues to pay all his focus on work and none on you. This could shake him up from his slumber and help him realize that he has not been fair to you.
Opt for separation- if you do not have an open marriage, you cannot have both of the men. It isn't moral to do this behind your partner's back.

I strongly suggest you consider doing the first option. Communicate your feelings of loneliness to your husband and seek help from a marriage counselor. It can do wonders for your relationship.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed Khan  |127 Answers  |Ask -

Physiotherapist - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 19, 2024Hindi
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Hello Dr.Shakeeb, I’m a 55 yrs male, had stents implanted in 2020 because of bad food habits and lack of regular movement, things have improved since then with better control on food habits. My problem is belly fat which is embarrassing and my weight is 77kgs, I was on knee braces for last 30 days bcoz of a slight ligament strain, so not able to do strenuous exercises. Pls suggest a workable regime for belly fat elimination considering my case history.
Ans: Hello Sir. Thank you for your query. Reducing belly fat requires a combination of calorie control, low-impact exercises, and lifestyle changes, tailored to your health history. Start by maintaining a slight calorie deficit of 200-300 kcal/day, focusing on a balanced diet rich in lean proteins, complex carbs, and healthy fats while avoiding sugary and processed foods. Drink 2-3 liters of water daily to stay hydrated. Engage in low-impact activities like brisk walking for 30-40 minutes daily, which is gentle on the knees and heart-friendly. Incorporate simple core-strengthening exercises such as pelvic tilts, seated knee lifts, and standing side bends to activate abdominal muscles without straining your knees. As your ligament strain heals, consult Physiotherapist about gradually increasing exercise intensity, including light resistance training. Prioritize 7-8 hours of quality sleep and manage stress through mindfulness to lower cortisol levels, which can contribute to belly fat. Small, frequent meals can keep your metabolism active, and tracking progress through waist measurements rather than just weight will help you stay motivated. These adjustments will promote gradual, sustainable fat loss while ensuring safety and heart health. I wish you healthy and active lifestyle.

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1318 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Relationship
Dear Anu Krishna, I'm 48 married with 2 kids daughter in 10th and son in 5th. Wife works as a VP in a large firm. Since post COVID there has been almost no intimacy. I tried to talk to her and she says that I'm a sex maniac. I said once in six months at least she says not interested. She s fit in good health exercises and all tests are ok. Last year my friend's wife informed me about their private WhatsApp messages and I was shocked. We go on tours and trips and functions and everything externally is normal. I buy her gifts and we go out to restaurants etc. Everything except intimacy. I've tried to talk about 50 times but she doesn't want to talk not seek any help. Infact the signs of this started from 2016. She's 43 now. I m thinking of now seperating from her. Im really fed up. Nothing is working, and she's adamant. I've pulled on for kids but maybe I can be together for a few more years. I can't live with her forever. You generally ask people to get help and talk etc which is done and tried and yet no solution. Can you agree for once that there is a genuine case to not continue It's my life I know but I think I'm 100% right and that i have hit the end of the road. Inhold you in high regard hence writing to you Sameer
Ans: Dear Sachin,
Thank you for your kind and respectful acknowledgement of me.
Now,
You wrote:
Last year my friend's wife informed me about their private WhatsApp messages and I was shocked. - What was shocking? You have not shared this!

Lack of interest in sex can be due to:
- change in hormones
- boredom in the bedroom routine
- lack of intimacy outside the bedroom

Now, what I must agree on is something that we can keep aside, yeah? My job is to try and guide people to put things together of course, if that's what they want. You seem to have already believed that nothing can work; how can anyone guide you? When you claim that you nothing is working, I will still ask you, "How do you know that you have tried everything to know that nothing is working?"

Also, if you have decided to separate, what more can I suggest? You feel that you are 100% right, BUT you know what: If you actually were 100% right, you would not be here checking in with me...Just playing the mirror here for you.
I still would suggest that you work on your marriage; communicate and rebuild...it's a long path BUT the fruits of it can be amazing!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1318 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 18, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi , I am married 2.5 years ago to a man , who is very less in education compared to me , this marriage was done as a compromise or in worries about my future as my parents are no more .. He and his family is average in all case ..cleanliness, hygeiene , social relations, religious practices , education , self respect , financial well being ... all these things are either meaningless for them or they vary poor in those . Nor even they have moral values , as they have cheated me by hiding my husband's age to me . I told them that we strongly believe in astrology and will not go without it . Still they gave me wrong information about his age and he is very elder to me .As I am well educated , employed and self dependant. So they somehow trapped me for marriage. After 3-4 months of marriage my husband was diagnosed (a type of oral cancer) caused due to consuming gutkha and ciggarettes. He lied and denied to have any disease still i started his medication . In some time I lost my job also still continued his treatment , tried to help him in his business , it made a big impact on my sqving too :( But because of his careless business practice , it didnt work for him. Also I paid many times his car's EMI . And supported in all types of expenses be it house hold , his medication or business . He has parental properties in village but they are hardly using it for their own use and wanted to use my money till now . As I now denied to give more money , now they have started looking to sell or rent / lease their property for their use . I have spent lot of money on them , I hardly believe they will try to pay it out fully to me or give some part of property for my safe future now :( I am now 43 and have no children . At other hand my brother is also alone( even being his wife and 2 sons) Wife is quarrelsome and has a history of false case of dowry on my brother and due to this my brother and my family sufferered a lot , its been 20 years now . But this has tortured my brother me and my mother a lot in past .Sis-in-law never let my nephews to stay or sit for some time with us (me or my mother ). And now as my both nephews have grown up my sis-in-law told them lie as if she was victim and , we were the culprit . Children were innocent , they didnt knew the fact , hence taking mother's side now. I thought that as my sis-in-law doesn't like us so unwillingly I decided to marry with a compromise , thinking that after my marriage all will be fine in brother's home , But nothing improved. And now my brother , after my marriage is emotionally alone at home , I feel very sorry about this . I want to go back and take care of my brother , as now he is 53 and emotionally very weak , diabetic and suffering other disease too . Sis-in-law is least interested in his health , care .. so as her children. Going back to parental (it is my father's home, so i also have legal right on that property )home and leaving husband is not so easy, .. Elder Nephew and sis-in-law can become very violent as they are always . I dont want to endanger my brother's health and if I dont go then also .. brother is taking care of him alone ..that too very casually ..how can i make all things correct . Please suggest .
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Hello! Excuse me...
Take care of yourself first before trying to save someone else.
Your brother is a grown man and knows what is to be done. Allow him to process his life's situations. By stepping into it especially in your state of mind will make things worse. Also, if you want guidance on this, kindly post another question else it will get confusing for all of us here.

First think of what you must do to make things better for yourself. Ask yourself whether you are interested in continuing the marriage. A lot of your time, money and energy has been invested in it and based on a lie. You have no clue what else they have lied about...do you want a marriage that is standing on a bed of lies? is it possible for you to trust your husband and his family all over again? What can they do so that you place trust in them again?

If this is not possible, the you are in a place where you need to make decisions about your marriage and your life in general.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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