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Anil

Anil Rego  |377 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Aug 29, 2023

Anil Rego is the founder of Right Horizons, a financial and wealth management firm. He has 20 years of experience in the field of personal finance.
He’s an expert in income tax and wealth management.
He has completed his CFA/MBA from the ICFAI Business School.... more
Alpesh Question by Alpesh on Aug 22, 2023Hindi
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I am 40 Years old my annual income is 11-12 lakhs , SIP HDFC 4000, Kotak 4000, ICICI 4000, Parag Parikh 3000, Mahindra Manulife 3000, want to corpus of Rs.1 Cr in 10 yrs, pls suggest

Ans: It’s a great that you’re planning for your financial future by investing SIPs and aiming for a sustainable corpus. To reach your goal of Rs. 1 crore you might need to consider increasing monthly SIP contributions. You would need to move your contributions to about 30K per month to start with and make an annual increase of about 10%. You can recaliberate the amounts based on your comfort.
You have mentioned only the fund house name and not the scheme name and hence I cannot comment on the same.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 11, 2024

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I need to create corpus of 5 crores in 10 years. im currently investigating of 46500 past one year. i have following mutual fund in my portfolio Hdfc sensex index 20k pgim midcap 3k motilal midcap index 3k sbi next 50 index 1k motilal micro index 46 icici prudential technology 1k quant small cap 7k parakpari flexi cap 5k axis small 2k. im private employee and earning of 140000 per month. so please provide suitable answer which created 5cr in 10 years also i have lic of 50k per year,ppf of 50k per year and nps 5k every month. my current age is 34
Ans: Creating a corpus of 5 crores in 10 years is an ambitious goal, but with careful planning and strategic investments, it's achievable. Your current investment portfolio and savings habits provide a solid foundation for reaching this milestone.

Given your age of 34 and the 10-year time horizon, we'll need to focus on a growth-oriented investment strategy while ensuring diversification and risk management.

Let's start by optimizing your mutual fund portfolio. While you have a diversified mix of funds, we may need to make some adjustments to align with your goal. Consider increasing allocations to high-growth potential funds like mid-cap and small-cap funds, which historically have outperformed broader market indices.

Regularly review your portfolio to monitor performance and make necessary adjustments based on market conditions and your evolving financial goals.

Additionally, continue your disciplined approach towards savings. Your LIC, PPF, and NPS contributions provide stability and long-term growth opportunities. Ensure you maximize contributions to these instruments within permissible limits to harness their full potential for wealth accumulation.

Remember to stay patient and committed to your financial plan. Building a significant corpus requires time and consistency. As a Certified Financial Planner, I'm here to guide you every step of the way and help you navigate through market fluctuations and uncertainties.

With determination and strategic financial planning, you can achieve your goal of creating a 5 crore corpus in 10 years.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 20, 2024Hindi
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Hi am 35 years ,with income of 1.5lak per month..I have 15lak in shares , 7 lak in mutual fund as sip invested 3 to 4 thousand in each fund ( regular and index funds) ,7lak in gold bond , 16lak in gold, LIFE INSURANCE -pli of 20lak ( 6.7k /month) , ICICI PRUDENTIAL (1LAK/ YEAR), TATA AIA (4k/month), NPS 2lak( monthly 18k ),9lak in monthly income scheme which gets 5550 investing that into my daughter sukanya samruddhi yogana,FD of 5lak .....I need a corpus of 4 to 5 crore in next 10year ...I have monthly expenses of 20 to 30k please guide me
Ans: Assessing Your Financial Goals
Introduction
You have a strong income and diversified investments. Achieving a corpus of ?4-5 crore in 10 years is ambitious but feasible with strategic adjustments.

Current Investments
Shares: ?15 lakh
Mutual Funds (SIP): ?7 lakh
Gold Bonds: ?7 lakh
Physical Gold: ?16 lakh
Life Insurance (PLI): ?20 lakh (?6.7k/month)
ICICI Prudential: ?1 lakh/year
Tata AIA: ?4k/month
NPS: ?2 lakh (?18k/month)
Monthly Income Scheme: ?9 lakh (?5550/month reinvested in Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana)
Fixed Deposit: ?5 lakh
Monthly Expenses and Income
Monthly Income: ?1.5 lakh
Monthly Expenses: ?20-30k
Investment Strategy
Surrender Unnecessary Insurance Policies

Insurance policies like PLI, ICICI Prudential, and Tata AIA may not yield high returns. Consider surrendering these and redirecting the funds to higher-yield investments.

Enhance Mutual Fund Investments

Regular and index funds are a good start. Actively managed mutual funds can offer higher returns than index funds. Focus on diversifying across equity and debt funds.

Increase SIP Contributions

Increase your SIP investments gradually. Start with an additional 10-15% increase and review every 6 months.

Maximise NPS Contributions

NPS offers good returns and tax benefits. Continue the ?18k/month contribution and increase if possible.

Reinvesting Surrendered Insurance Funds
Mutual Funds

Redirect funds from surrendered insurance policies to mutual funds. Choose a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds.

Equity Investments

With ?15 lakh already in shares, consider blue-chip stocks for stability and growth. Diversify across different sectors.

Debt Investments

Maintain a portion of your portfolio in debt instruments for stability. Consider debt mutual funds or fixed deposits.

Monitoring and Rebalancing Portfolio
Regular Reviews

Review your portfolio quarterly. Ensure your investments align with your risk tolerance and goals.

Adjust Allocations

Adjust your allocations based on market conditions. Increase exposure to equities in a growing market and shift to debt in volatile times.

Planning for Corpus Growth
Targeted Growth Rate

Aim for a balanced portfolio with an average return of 10-12% annually. Equity investments should drive growth, while debt instruments provide stability.

Reinvestment of Returns

Reinvest all returns and dividends. Compounding will significantly boost your corpus over time.

Achieving Your Goal
Projected Corpus

With disciplined investing and strategic adjustments, reaching ?4-5 crore is achievable. Utilize the power of compounding and regular contributions.

Avoid Real Estate

Real estate may not provide liquidity and returns comparable to equities and mutual funds. Focus on market-linked instruments.

Final Recommendations
Consult a CFP

Regular consultations with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) will help fine-tune your strategy and keep you on track.

Stay Disciplined

Maintain your investment discipline. Avoid impulsive decisions based on market fluctuations.

Conclusion
Your financial foundation is strong, and with strategic adjustments, your goal of ?4-5 crore in 10 years is achievable. Focus on high-yield investments, regular reviews, and disciplined investing.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 04, 2024

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Hello sir, I m 38 year old.. I have a 9 year old daughter.. right now my net earning is rs. 1.25 lacs after paying my home loan EMI of rs. 25000. I have a home loan of rs 26 lacs .. I have rs. 45 lacs in MF, 15 lacs in bank FD, 28 lacs in life insurance policies and almost 16 lacs in daughter's sukanya samriddhi account and a property of rs. 50 lacs.. I want a corpus of rs. 5 cr in next 10 years.. kindly guide
Ans: It's great to see your structured savings and investments. Let's work together to achieve your goal of Rs. 5 crores in the next 10 years.

Current Financial Snapshot
Age: 38 years old
Daughter's Age: 9 years old
Net Earnings: Rs. 1.25 lakhs per month after EMI
Home Loan: Rs. 26 lakhs
Mutual Funds: Rs. 45 lakhs
Fixed Deposits (FDs): Rs. 15 lakhs
Life Insurance Policies: Rs. 28 lakhs
Sukanya Samriddhi Account: Rs. 16 lakhs
Property: Rs. 50 lakhs
Goals and Timeline
Your primary goal is to build a corpus of Rs. 5 crores in the next 10 years. We'll create a detailed plan to help you achieve this.

Analyzing Your Current Investments
Mutual Funds
Mutual funds are a great way to grow wealth over time. Let's optimize your portfolio:

Diversification: Ensure your mutual funds are diversified across equity, debt, and hybrid funds.
Performance Review: Regularly review the performance of your mutual funds and make necessary adjustments.
Fixed Deposits
FDs provide safety but offer lower returns. Consider this:

Reallocation: Gradually shift a portion of your FDs to higher-yielding investments like mutual funds.
Life Insurance Policies
Evaluate the purpose and performance of your insurance policies:

Term Insurance: Ensure you have adequate term insurance for life coverage.
ULIPs and Endowment Policies: Consider surrendering non-performing ULIPs or endowment policies and reinvesting in mutual funds.
Sukanya Samriddhi Account
This is a good investment for your daughter's future, offering tax benefits and decent returns.

Continue Investing: Keep contributing to this account for your daughter's education and marriage.
Strategies to Achieve Rs. 5 Crores
Increasing SIPs in Mutual Funds
Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) in mutual funds are powerful due to the compounding effect.

Monthly SIPs: Increase your monthly SIPs to take advantage of rupee cost averaging.
Equity Funds: Allocate a higher percentage to equity mutual funds for higher returns.
Diversified Funds: Invest in a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds.
Lump Sum Investments
Utilize your existing funds for lump sum investments:

Reinvest FD Amounts: As FDs mature, reinvest the amounts into mutual funds.
Optimize Insurance Policies: Surrender underperforming insurance policies and invest the proceeds.
Portfolio Diversification
A diversified portfolio reduces risk and enhances returns.

Debt Funds: Allocate a portion to debt mutual funds for stability.
Gold: Consider a small allocation to gold for diversification and inflation hedge.
International Funds: Explore international mutual funds for global exposure.
Risk Management
Health Insurance
Ensure you have adequate health insurance coverage:

Family Coverage: A comprehensive health insurance plan for your family is essential.
Critical Illness Cover: Add critical illness cover to protect against major health risks.
Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund for unforeseen expenses:

Liquidity: Keep 6-12 months of expenses in a liquid fund or savings account.
Child's Future Education and Marriage
Plan for your daughter's future needs:

Education Fund: Continue investing in the Sukanya Samriddhi Account and consider a dedicated mutual fund for her education.
Marriage Fund: Start a separate investment for her marriage expenses.
Power of Compounding
Compounding is your best friend when it comes to long-term investments.

Consistent Investing: Regularly invest and stay invested for the long term.
Reinvest Returns: Reinvest dividends and capital gains to maximize growth.
Importance of Regular Review
Regularly review your financial plan to stay on track:

Annual Review: Review your portfolio at least once a year and rebalance if necessary.
Adjust Goals: Adjust your goals and investments based on changing circumstances.
Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds can potentially offer higher returns compared to passive index funds.

Professional Management: Fund managers actively select stocks and bonds to outperform benchmarks.
Flexibility: Actively managed funds can adapt to market changes and economic conditions.
Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct funds may have lower expense ratios but come with certain drawbacks:

Research Required: Direct funds require you to research and select funds without professional guidance.
Time-Consuming: Managing direct investments can be time-consuming and complex.
Advantages of Investing through MFDs with CFP Credential
Investing through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with Certified Financial Planner (CFP) credentials offers several benefits:

Expert Guidance: Get professional advice tailored to your financial goals and risk tolerance.
Comprehensive Planning: CFPs provide holistic financial planning, considering all aspects of your financial life.
Convenience: The MFD handles paperwork and administrative tasks, making the investment process smooth.
Final Insights
Achieving a corpus of Rs. 5 crores in 10 years requires disciplined investing and strategic planning.

Increase SIPs: Enhance your SIPs in equity mutual funds for growth.

Reallocate Funds: Gradually shift from FDs to higher-yielding mutual funds.

Diversify Portfolio: Maintain a diversified portfolio to manage risk.

Review Regularly: Regularly review and adjust your investments to stay on track.

With these strategies, you can achieve your financial goals and secure a comfortable future for your family.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4047 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
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Career
This is my second attempt at SSC CGL, and I’ve improved since last year. But I’m still anxious about the descriptive paper. Can you suggest ways to stand out in this section and make my essay and letter writing more impactful?
Ans: The SSC CGL descriptive paper requires a clear, structured, and effective presentation. To improve your essay writing skills, review the subject matter thoroughly and avoid deviations from the central theme. Sketch an initial outline and adhere to a straightforward framework, including an Introduction, Body, and Conclusion. Start with a hook and express your thesis or stance in a concise manner. Arrange arguments in a logical order, using data, examples, and facts to establish credibility. Avoid repetition and maintain brevity.

In summary, concisely summarize the primary themes and offer a fair perspective. Avoid vernacular language and maintain appropriate sentence structure and grammar. Maintain a clean writing style and avoid overwriting.

For writing a letter, adhere to the conventional format, maintain clarity and conciseness, and articulate the purpose in the first paragraph. Use simple language and avoid intricate terminology.

Regularly engage in writing essays and correspondence on various subjects to develop adaptability. Stay informed about the latest news and hot topics. Develop time management skills and consistently proofread your work for errors.

Developing impactful essays and letters with clarity, structure, and content relevance enhances your chances of success in the SSC CGL descriptive paper. All The Best for Your Prosperous Future.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 05, 2025Hindi
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How to manage stress?
Ans: The first step is to become aware of what triggers your stress. This self-awareness allows you to address the root causes rather than just the symptoms. Once you identify these triggers, you can start exploring techniques that help you cope effectively.

One effective approach is to incorporate regular self-care practices into your daily routine. This could include activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time in nature. These practices not only help calm the mind but also improve your overall mood and resilience to stress.

Talking to someone you trust, whether a friend, family member, or professional, can also be a powerful way to manage stress. Sharing your feelings and experiences helps lighten the emotional load and provides different perspectives that might help you navigate your challenges more effectively.

It's also important to focus on what you can control and let go of things that are beyond your influence. This shift in mindset can reduce feelings of helplessness and frustration. Setting realistic expectations for yourself and others can also alleviate unnecessary pressure.

Remember to give yourself permission to rest and recharge. Adequate sleep, a balanced diet, and time for relaxation are essential for managing stress. When you take care of your body and mind, you're better equipped to handle life's demands.

Lastly, cultivating a mindset of gratitude and mindfulness can help you stay present and appreciate the positive aspects of your life, even during stressful times. These practices can create a sense of balance and help you respond to stress in healthier, more constructive ways. By integrating these approaches into your life, you can build resilience and find a sense of peace amidst the chaos.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Dear Counselor, My husband and I have been together for 11 years, with 10 years of dating and 1 year of marriage. Unfortunately, our relationship has been strained over the past year due to financial disagreements. Before marriage, we discussed his personal loan, which was taken for a land purchase for his mother. The loan repayment amounts to 30% of his salary. He assured me that, except for this loan repayment, he would not contribute financially to his parents' expenses until the loan was paid off. However, his parents are now pressuring him to increase his financial support by 20%. They claim to need help clearing their debts, despite being below 45, physically fit, and earning a sufficient income to support themselves. This situation is causing tension in our marriage, as we had planned to save and invest together, having no property or financial security of our own. I'm finding it challenging to understand why my husband is not prioritizing our financial goals and future together. please help me on this. Thank you for your time and guidance.
Ans: The key here is to approach the situation with empathy and open communication. Your husband likely feels a strong sense of duty towards his parents, which is understandable given cultural and familial expectations. However, it’s also important for him to recognize the commitments and plans you’ve both made as a couple. Balancing these two responsibilities can be difficult, but it’s essential for the health of your relationship.

Start by having a calm and honest conversation with your husband. Express your feelings without blame, focusing on how the situation affects both of you and your shared goals. It’s important that he understands your perspective and how the financial strain is impacting not only your plans but also your emotional well-being.

Encourage him to discuss his feelings and the pressure he’s experiencing from his parents. Sometimes, partners may feel caught between their familial obligations and their commitments to their spouse, leading to stress and internal conflict. Understanding his point of view can help you find common ground.

You might also explore practical solutions together, such as setting clear boundaries on financial support or finding a compromise that allows both your goals and his familial obligations to be met to some extent. This could involve budgeting, setting financial priorities, or seeking financial counseling to help manage the situation more effectively.

Ultimately, it’s about finding a balance that respects both of your needs and ensures that your marriage remains a priority. By working together and communicating openly, you can navigate this challenge and strengthen your relationship.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi Mam, I met my ex wife in the college where we both were pursuing out studies. We exchanged contacts and started speaking over phone like couple does. When we fall in live we ourselves don't know as no one propose to each other. As i finished my studies, she quit studies in the middle and decided to do hotel management course. Amd it so happened, next day her interview was lined up but unfortunately due to unavoidable circumstances she has to go to her native place. As Covid struck she git stuck in her native place and couldn't come back. And when everything became normal i insisted her to come but her mom was not allowing. After a lot of struggle her mom allowed her and she came back. In this course of time both families was aware about our relationship. My mom was against her because of 2 reasons, 1) Intercaste 2) She was from very poor and low caste background. Them too i continued the relationship and i convinced to my sister and she convinced to mom. And when she was in native place, she said once that her voice has gone has gone she need 50k for operation. I trying madly to arrange funds and one of my friend told me that she is playing with you be careful but as i was blind in love i necer listened him. When she came to Mumbai i arranged a pg accommodation for her for some time and i use to take her out for dinner as there use to be regular fights with owner. Somehow i convinced my mom and shifted her to my place. There use to be fights but we use to care for each other also at the same time. She started to do events and slowly and steadily started to work in media. She was well aware that i dont like girls working media then too i have her permission to work in media temporary. I went against everyone, my family and friend and after 7yrs of relationship we decided to get marry and it was working fine. After marriage fight increased and she used to taunt though i did so much for her. Once she was not well and as she used to taunt me i never took care of her. One day my dear friend told me to check her phone, she might be seeing someone. And when i checked she was having an affair with Assistant director, i saw msgs photos. And when i confronted she said "He is just a friend and we talk normally" I saw they both on one bed and when i forward their pics to her mom she said "There might be some problem in you only." And when i asked to my ex wife about all this she said "A person goes where he or she gets love and care" All this happened within 6-8 months of our marriage. When i came to know about all this i tod her to leave my house and she was asking for divorce because of my mon's behavior also. I think i should have not tell her to leave as when she left i don't know but i love her very much. I even told her to give me one chance as i gave her but she didn't stopped talking with her bf. And she didn't gave me a chance and went away. We have been legally divorced but still i love her and ready to accept her. But she doesn't want to come back. I am trying to forget her but couldn't. Luckily we don't have kids. Sometimes my heart says let her go she cheated you. Sometimes it says i love now also. I am struggling to forgot her as i am in contact now also. Please suggest. Thank you
Ans: it's important to acknowledge and honor the love you felt and still feel. Love doesn’t simply disappear overnight, and it’s natural to have lingering emotions, especially when you’ve shared so much history and effort to keep the relationship going. However, it’s also crucial to recognize the harm and hurt caused by her actions and the unresolved issues that led to the breakdown of your marriage.

The fact that she chose not to return and continues to maintain contact with the person she was involved with suggests that she has moved on emotionally, even if you haven’t. Holding onto hope for reconciliation can keep you trapped in a cycle of pain and longing, which makes it harder to heal and move forward.

Your heart and mind are sending you mixed signals because you’re torn between the love you still feel and the reality of the betrayal. This is a common struggle after a significant loss, but it’s important to focus on what’s best for your emotional well-being. Continuing to be in contact with her may be preventing you from healing fully. It might be beneficial to create some distance, at least temporarily, to allow yourself the space to process your feelings and begin the healing process.

Focusing on yourself and your own growth is essential. Consider engaging in activities that bring you joy, spending time with supportive friends and family, and possibly seeking professional counseling to help you work through your emotions and develop strategies to move forward.

Letting go is difficult, especially when you still have love for someone, but it’s a crucial step towards healing. Accepting that the relationship has ended and focusing on your future can help you find peace and eventually open the door to new possibilities for love and happiness.
Asked on - Jan 15, 2025 | Answered on Jan 15, 2025
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Thank you very much for ur reply. But i am finding difficult to forget her.
Ans: It might be helpful to focus on the following steps to move forward:

Acceptance: Accept that the relationship has ended and that continuing to hold on to it may be preventing you from healing. Acceptance doesn’t mean you have to stop loving her immediately, but it does mean recognizing that the relationship is no longer viable.
Self-Care: Prioritize your emotional well-being by engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who can help you through this process. Consider exploring new hobbies or interests that can redirect your focus and bring positive energy into your life.
Boundaries: It might be time to set boundaries with your ex-wife, especially if staying in contact is causing you more pain. Taking a step back from communication can provide the space you need to heal and gain clarity.
Professional Support: Consider speaking with a therapist or counselor who can help you process your feelings and guide you through the healing journey. Professional support can offer valuable tools and strategies to navigate the complex emotions you’re experiencing.
Remember, healing takes time, and it’s okay to grieve the loss of the relationship. With patience and self-compassion, you can move forward, find peace, and eventually open yourself up to new possibilities and happiness in life.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 13, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
My partner and I are from different cultural backgrounds. She has always felt a strong spiritual connection to events like the Kumbh Mela. Earlier this year, while booking the tickets she had asked if I would like to join her as she is travelling solo. While I respect her beliefs, I refused to join because I am not a religious person. Now that she has booked her tickets, I am worried about her safety. Should I tell her to cancel her trip? I don't want her to think that I am disrespecting her choices or religion. Or should I just tag along and make her feel safe? How do I address these concerns and have a healthy conversation?
Ans: Start by having an honest conversation with her. Share your feelings about her safety in a caring and non-confrontational way. Let her know that your concern comes from a place of love and care, not from a lack of respect for her spiritual journey. It’s important to express that you understand her desire to attend the Kumbh Mela and that you support her connection to this event.

If you’re considering joining her, it could be a gesture of solidarity and support, even if you’re not personally invested in the spiritual aspect. However, it’s crucial to approach this as a way to share the experience together and ensure her safety, rather than as an obligation or with reluctance. If you decide to join her, communicate that you’re doing so because you want to be there for her, which could strengthen your relationship.

On the other hand, if you feel strongly about not attending due to personal beliefs, you can suggest other ways to support her. This might include discussing safety plans or staying in close communication while she’s there. This approach shows that you trust her decisions while still being there for her in a supportive way.

Ultimately, the conversation should aim to understand each other’s perspectives and find a solution that makes both of you feel comfortable and respected. Balancing your care for her safety with respect for her independence and beliefs is key to maintaining a healthy, supportive relationship.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 09, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I am 42 Female currently, last marriage didn't go well, afraid of new start, I neither type of person who can go to club etc etc to "find someone" - What's the best way to move forward, Do we have genuine way of finding someone who can become reliable partner too (No tinder etc as again I knw myself now at this age, I can't) - Please guide
Ans: One of the best ways to meet someone compatible is through shared interests and environments where you feel at ease. Consider engaging in activities or communities that resonate with you. This could include joining local interest groups, volunteering, or taking classes in areas you’re passionate about. These settings not only provide opportunities to meet like-minded individuals but also allow connections to develop organically over shared experiences and values.

Another valuable approach is to lean on your existing network. Friends, family, and colleagues often know you well and can introduce you to others who might be a good match. These introductions can be more comfortable and trustworthy since they come from people who understand your personality and values.

It’s also important to give yourself time and space to heal and grow from past experiences. Building a reliable and meaningful relationship starts with being in a place where you feel confident and whole on your own. This self-awareness and emotional readiness will naturally attract the right kind of partner who values and respects you for who you are.

Remember, there’s no rush or specific timeline you need to adhere to. Allow relationships to develop at a pace that feels right for you, and focus on building connections that are based on mutual respect, understanding, and shared values. Trust that the right person will come into your life when the time is right, and until then, prioritize your own happiness and well-being.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

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Relationship
My age is 48 years and i have one son aged 17 years and i am single son of my parents ,one and half year back my wife expired and upon insisted by my parents and close relatives i got remarried and she has one girl aged 8 years, after passing of six months she has started showing her true colors and it has become very difficult for me to continue and i want to get rid of this . Please guide me what should i do now.
Ans: Dear Dinesh,
it’s important to reflect on what is making the relationship difficult. Understanding the specific issues—whether they stem from differences in values, communication problems, or other conflicts—can provide clarity on how to move forward.

If you haven't already, consider having an open and honest conversation with your wife about your concerns. Sometimes, addressing issues directly can lead to resolutions or at least a better understanding of each other's perspectives. Counseling, either individually or as a couple, can also be a valuable tool in navigating these challenges and deciding the best course of action.

However, if you’ve already tried addressing these issues and find that the relationship is still untenable, it may be time to consider ending the marriage. It’s important to prioritize your emotional and mental well-being, as well as that of your son and stepdaughter. Divorce is never an easy decision, especially when children are involved, but staying in an unhappy and unhealthy relationship can have long-term negative impacts on everyone.

As you contemplate your next steps, it’s also important to lean on your support system. Friends, family, or a counselor can provide guidance and help you navigate this difficult period. Remember, prioritizing your well-being is not only crucial for you but also for your children, as they look to you for stability and emotional guidance. Making decisions that lead to a healthier and happier environment for everyone involved is ultimately the most important goal.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 08, 2024
Relationship
Hello mam.I know a girl since college days.She is married to a guy since last 15 years.Since last 3 years we had an affair.I did take her for granted after our 2 nd half 3 years of relationship.Since a year now she has been giving me some or the other reason such as she is not getting feeling for me,husband is taking much care now so cant handle our relationship,then she told she has some health issue and now recently she tells me she has been telling me indirectly since a year to move on as she was in a relationship with some guy whom she got attracted in a mutual connection.But now she has discontinued with him as well. We do chat on message and call sometime but now since a year she herself has stopped calling or messaging.She replies only when i message or call. I want her back in my life and improve my relationship with her.Please guide me to get her back and have a relationship with her as we had till last year.What steps should I take to win her heart back and make her mine?
Ans: The first step is to acknowledge and respect her current feelings and boundaries. It’s clear she’s navigating her own emotional journey and trying to find clarity in her life. Pressuring her or trying to win her back without considering her current stance may push her further away.

Instead, focus on open and honest communication. If you genuinely care for her, it’s important to express your feelings without being demanding. Share how you feel, but also be willing to listen to her perspective fully. Understand that love and relationships are mutual, and both parties need to feel connected and invested.

During this time, it’s also essential to reflect on your own needs and emotional well-being. Ask yourself if this relationship, as it currently stands, is fulfilling and healthy for you. Relationships can be complicated, and sometimes stepping back to allow both people space to understand their feelings can lead to a clearer path forward, whether that’s together or apart.

Ultimately, your focus should be on building healthy, honest connections and prioritizing emotional well-being for both yourself and the people involved. If there’s a possibility of rekindling the relationship, it will come from mutual understanding, respect, and willingness from both sides.

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