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Nayagam P P  |3856 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 07, 2024

Nayagam is a certified career counsellor and the founder of EduJob360.
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Rajendra Question by Rajendra on Jun 01, 2024Hindi
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My doughter get 96 percentile and 61k rank in JEE main. Which would be better NIT, IIIT, or any other engineering college for her. She ie interested in CSE or IT or ECE. We are from general category

Ans: Sir, Getting admission into any one of the IIITs or NITs for your daughter will be very difficult, irrespective of any Branch for your daughter's Rank in JEE (Main).

Try to get admission through JAC for any one of the 5-Participating Institutes i.e. DTU, NSUT, IGDIW, IIITD & DSEU. Apply for this & try.

As far as IPU is concerned, there are MORE chances that she will get admission into the Branch you wish. Please apply for this also.

All The BEST for your daughter's Bright Future.

To know more on ‘ Careers | Education | Jobs | Resume Writing | Salary Negotiation Skills | Building Professional LinkedIn Profile | Exam Preparation Techniques | Job Interview Skills | Skill Upgrading | Parenting & Child Upbringing Skills | Career Transition | Abroad Education ’, please FOLLOW me here in RediffGURU.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6810 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 26, 2024

Money
Hi I have sell my house at 48 lakh. I have purched it 18 lakh. where shuld i have to invest these money for another 5-6 yers. I am 52 yers old.
Ans: 1. Evaluating Capital Gains Tax on the Property Sale
Capital Gains Details: You sold your property for Rs 48 lakh, having initially purchased it for Rs 18 lakh. Since you held the property for more than two years, the profit qualifies as a long-term capital gain (LTCG).

Taxation on LTCG: The LTCG on property sales is taxed at 20% with indexation benefits. Another option is to pay 12.5% tax straight away without indexation. This tax may reduce if you opt for reinvestment options under Section 54 or Section 54EC of the Income Tax Act.

Section 54: If you reinvest in a new residential property within two years or construct one within three years, you could claim a tax exemption on the gains.

Section 54EC: If you don’t wish to reinvest in property, you can invest up to Rs 50 lakh in bonds issued by NHAI or REC, specifically designed for capital gains tax exemption. These bonds have a 5-year lock-in, and the interest is taxable.

2. Balanced Portfolio for Growth and Stability
Since you have a 5-6 year investment horizon, a balanced portfolio would be ideal to both grow and safeguard your funds. Consider a mix of the following investment categories:

Debt Mutual Funds for Stability and Safety
Stable Returns: Debt funds are less volatile than equity and offer relatively stable returns. They are suitable if you seek low-risk returns over a medium horizon.

Tax Efficiency: If held for more than three years, debt funds offer indexation benefits on LTCG, making them tax-efficient for medium-term goals.

Recommended Funds: Invest in short-to-medium duration debt funds to match your 5-6 year timeframe. Actively managed debt funds offer regular guidance from financial professionals, making them a better choice than direct investments.

Hybrid Funds for Balanced Growth
Hybrid Allocation: Hybrid funds blend equity and debt to provide moderate growth with stability, perfect for investors looking for balanced returns.

Risk Cushion: These funds protect you from market volatility with a mix of assets, ideal for 5-6 years of steady growth.

Tax Consideration: If held for over one year, equity-oriented hybrid funds benefit from LTCG tax treatment, which can be tax-efficient for your capital growth.

Actively Managed Equity Mutual Funds
Growth Potential: Even with a shorter timeframe, a limited allocation in equity mutual funds can provide enhanced returns. Actively managed funds, handled by expert fund managers, often outperform index funds, especially during market fluctuations.

Avoiding Direct Funds: Direct funds lack the insights a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) or Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) offers. Regular plans offer guidance that can better align with your financial goals, helping you navigate market changes effectively.

Tax Structure: For equity funds, LTCG over Rs 1.25 lakh annually is taxed at 12.5%, which is lower than other asset classes, making it beneficial for growth.

3. Enhancing Liquidity with Debt Instruments
Having a portion of funds in fixed-return debt instruments ensures liquidity and regular income if needed. Here are a few options:

Fixed Deposits with Laddering: Spread deposits over multiple tenures, ensuring liquidity and minimising reinvestment risk due to fluctuating interest rates.

Corporate Bonds or NCDs: Consider bonds from reputed companies for fixed income, but focus on high-rated bonds for security. Although taxable, bonds provide consistent returns and can be an option for funds needed in a shorter span.

4. Emergency Fund Allocation
An emergency fund is vital at every age and is even more essential as retirement approaches. Secure at least 6-12 months of expenses in a liquid or ultra-short-term fund.

Liquid Funds: These provide quick access to cash if needed, with relatively lower risk and tax efficiency.

Bank Savings or Short FDs: For part of your emergency fund, keep funds in a high-yielding savings account or short-term fixed deposits.

5. Health and Retirement Provisions
As you are approaching retirement, securing adequate health and retirement funds is essential for a stable future.

Health Insurance: Ensure you have sufficient health insurance coverage, keeping in mind the rising medical expenses. You may also consider critical illness coverage to avoid out-of-pocket expenses.

Retirement Planning: Allocate a portion of your corpus in conservative, low-risk investments to provide consistent income post-retirement. Monthly Income Plans (MIPs) in mutual funds can supplement regular income if required, providing a balanced approach.

6. Potential Tax Liabilities and Strategic Planning
Here’s how to structure your investments while optimising tax efficiency:

Section 54 and 54EC: If you decide to reinvest under these sections, it can lower your capital gains tax liability. These are specific exemptions aimed at property sellers to reinvest gains in bonds or another house.

Indexation for Debt Funds: Holding debt funds for over three years qualifies for indexation, reducing your tax burden on long-term gains.

Regular Monitoring: A Certified Financial Planner can review your portfolio to adjust for tax efficiency, especially as new tax laws or changes affect mutual fund gains.

Final Insights
This is a solid time to capitalise on your property gains. With a mix of debt, equity, and hybrid mutual funds, you can achieve both stability and growth over the next 5-6 years.

Balanced Investment Strategy: A well-structured portfolio combining debt, hybrid, and limited equity mutual funds gives a balanced approach to growth and safety.

Tax Management: Maximising capital gains exemptions and using indexation benefits can help in optimising taxes on your gains.

Emergency and Health Planning: Set aside funds for medical and emergency needs, which is essential for financial peace.

By diversifying into the right instruments and with regular guidance, your Rs 48 lakh corpus can grow, while preserving your financial security over time.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6810 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 25, 2024Hindi
Money
my age is 68 years i have purchased a house jointly with family (4) members in june-2023 under construction which will be completed in dec-2026 for amounting to Rs.2.20 crore , Registration(Aggrement) is already made in August-23 against that 1.10 crore is already paid till september-24 by the way of loan. my old house is suppose to be sold in june/july-24 but somehow it is not sold. if it is sold by December-2024 or January 2025 should i have to pay tax further 2 to 3 installment are still to pay till possession please let me know
Ans: Current Situation and Potential Tax Implications
Joint House Purchase: You purchased a new property in June 2023 jointly with four family members. It will be completed by December 2026, with a total cost of Rs 2.2 crore.

Loan and Payments: A home loan has funded Rs 1.1 crore, and payments continue towards the installments.

Old House Sale Delayed: Your plan to sell an old house by June/July 2024 has been delayed, but you expect it could be sold by December 2024 or January 2025.

The sale timing is critical, as it affects tax calculations and investment strategy.

Understanding Capital Gains Tax on the Old Property Sale
If you sell the old house in the next few months, consider these points:

Long-Term Capital Gains (LTCG): If you held the old property for more than two years, the gain qualifies for long-term capital gains tax. The LTCG rate is 20% with indexation benefits, helping reduce the taxable amount.

Section 54 Exemption: If you invest the capital gains from selling the old house into a new property (your under-construction home), you may be eligible for a Section 54 exemption. This reduces or eliminates the tax burden.

Time Limits for Exemption: Under Section 54, the new property must be purchased one year before or two years after the old property’s sale date. For under-construction properties, the new home must be completed within three years of the sale. Since your home is scheduled for completion by December 2026, it may fall within this time frame for exemption.

Steps for Managing Installment Payments and Tax Considerations
To efficiently manage your installment payments and minimise tax liabilities, here are some key strategies:

Use Sale Proceeds for Installments: Once you sell the old house, allocate the proceeds to pay off the remaining installments of your new home. This method supports your Section 54 exemption, as the capital gains directly fund the new property.

Utilise Capital Gains Account Scheme: If the old house sale happens before the new home’s completion in December 2026, consider a Capital Gains Account Scheme. This scheme holds your gains until you’re ready to pay the final installments, allowing you to maintain the tax exemption.

Avoid Tax Penalties: By reinvesting the capital gains directly or through a Capital Gains Account, you stay aligned with the tax-exempt limits. This approach prevents tax penalties on unutilised gains.

Loan Repayment Strategies and Their Benefits
With an existing home loan, you have options for managing debt effectively:

Partial Loan Prepayment: If selling the old house frees up significant funds, consider partially repaying the home loan. Reducing the loan principal lowers interest obligations and eases financial pressure.

Maintain Liquidity: If your income sources post-retirement are limited, focus on balancing loan repayment with cash reserves. Avoid exhausting all funds on prepayments, as liquidity will support unforeseen expenses.

Interest Deduction Benefits: Home loan interest qualifies for tax deductions up to Rs 2 lakh per annum. So, if tax-saving on other income is beneficial, maintaining the loan could serve dual purposes.

Planning for Additional Financial Needs
You may have specific financial goals or family obligations. These plans ensure financial security alongside the property investment.

Consider Your Age and Income Needs: At 68, it’s essential to preserve funds for retirement. Make sure your reserves meet monthly expenses comfortably.

Health and Emergency Reserves: Reserve a portion of the proceeds or capital for health and emergency funds. These ensure stability, especially if unforeseen expenses arise.

Future Property Maintenance: Anticipate expenses related to the new property after completion, including maintenance and repairs.

Investment Strategy Post-Sale
If the old property sale yields surplus funds beyond the installment payments, strategically investing this surplus can optimise your finances:

Allocate to Mutual Funds for Growth: Investing some amount in mutual funds, with guidance from a Certified Financial Planner, can grow your wealth with tax-efficient returns. Actively managed funds offer the potential for better gains than traditional deposits.

Explore Debt Funds for Stability: Debt funds provide relatively stable returns, which are also tax-efficient. These funds suit conservative investors who prefer less market volatility.

Avoid High-Risk Products: Given your age, high-risk investments (like equities) may not align with your risk tolerance. Focusing on balanced or debt-oriented funds can offer stability with some growth potential.

Ensuring Compliance with Taxation Rules
To maximise tax savings while remaining compliant, consider these best practices:

Work with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP): A CFP can help navigate the specific tax exemptions, handle instalment planning, and advise on re-investing sale proceeds effectively.

Documentation and Filing: Maintain detailed records of the new property payments, loan interest, and any transactions related to the sale proceeds. Accurate records support tax filing and Section 54 claims.

Plan Ahead for Final Payments: Since you still have 2-3 instalments due, ensure funds from the old property sale remain accessible. This keeps the payment process smooth and helps you avoid penalty charges or tax complications.

Final Insights
Selling the old property offers a structured approach to fund your new home. It also offers potential tax benefits when done with thoughtful planning.

Utilise Capital Gains Exemptions: Applying Section 54 can save significant taxes, especially as the new property aligns with your long-term plans.

Balance Loan Repayment with Liquidity: Repay loan portions wisely without sacrificing cash reserves. This balance supports both current needs and future obligations.

Explore Moderate Investments for Surplus Funds: Any surplus should be invested in tax-efficient, moderate-risk avenues that align with retirement security.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6810 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 25, 2024Hindi
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Money
Sir, I'm 43 years old and have 10k sip in parag flexi cap, canara large cap, quant active and axis mid cap.5k sip in motilal midcap, ICICI mid and large cap. Current mutual fund corpus 16 lakhs and have another corpus of 1.5 lakh which is mostly in debt instruments like FD. I have a 14 year old son and a passive income of 30k which I expect to continue for next 10 years. My monthly expenses is around 70k. I would like to understand the corpus required for my retirement if I want to retire now and also corpus for my son's education. Expecting your valuable suggestion and advice. I don't expect expenses to grow higher and have a decent medical insurance. I had asked this question but haven't got any response
Ans: You are 43 years old with an SIP allocation in both large-cap and mid-cap funds. You have a total mutual fund corpus of Rs 16 lakhs and an additional Rs 1.5 lakh in debt instruments. Your passive income is Rs 30k per month and expenses are Rs 70k per month.

Passive Income and Expenses
Your passive income covers part of your monthly expenses. This is good but not sufficient for your monthly needs. You might need to draw from your investments to cover the gap.

Retirement Corpus Calculation
Retiring now requires careful planning. To sustain your lifestyle, you need to account for 70k monthly expenses.

Let's assume:

Your retirement age is 60

Life expectancy is 85

Monthly expenses remain the same

You will need a significant corpus to cover 25 years of expenses post-retirement.

Educational Corpus for Your Son
Your son is 14 years old, and college expenses will kick in within the next 4-5 years. Assuming a conservative approach:

Consider the cost of education, including tuition and other expenses

Account for inflation

Investment Strategy
Continuing Current SIPs
Parag Flexi Cap

Canara Large Cap

Quant Active

Axis Mid Cap

Motilal Midcap

ICICI Mid and Large Cap

Potential Changes
Evaluate the performance of your current funds. If they are consistently underperforming, consider switching to better-performing funds. However, ensure these align with your risk profile.

Diversification
Balance your portfolio with a mix of large, mid, and small caps

Consider international exposure for broader diversification

Debt Instruments
With Rs 1.5 lakh in debt instruments, ensure they align with your risk tolerance. Debt instruments provide stability but lower returns.

Tax Efficiency
Be mindful of the new mutual fund capital gains tax rules:

LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%

STCG is taxed at 20%

Regular Reviews
Regularly review and rebalance your portfolio. This keeps your investments aligned with your goals and market conditions.

Insurance
Ensure you have adequate health and life insurance. This protects your family's financial future.

Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund equivalent to 6-12 months of expenses. This covers unforeseen situations.

Best Regards
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP
Chief Financial Planner
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6810 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 26, 2024

Money
Hi Sir , I am 48 yrs Old and have about 2.6 Cr Total Corpus in FD , NPS T1 and T2 , Gold investment etc. I have not investment anything in Mutual Funds or Shares . Also I have one House worth 1.3 Cr with rental Income of about 15 K per month currently . Also live in own house and have no debt . My current monthly expense if 13 lacs p.m and have already left my job so have no income. I will need about 40 lacs overall for my children education in next 3 years apart from monthly expenses . Can I decide to retire in this situation or may have some challenges in future .
Ans: Given your substantial savings and assets, I appreciate your careful planning thus far. However, without an active income, your challenge now is to ensure that your existing assets generate a sustainable income and continue growing for long-term security. Below, I’ll break down your retirement plan, child’s education funding, monthly expenses, investment options, and other important aspects to help you make an informed decision on whether retiring now is viable.

Retirement Planning and Asset Allocation
At 48, planning to retire requires a balance between growth and safety in investments. With Rs 2.6 crore across FDs, NPS, and gold, your portfolio is secure but could benefit from diversification into growth-oriented assets, such as mutual funds. This would help sustain your corpus for the next 20-30 years of retirement.

Asset Diversification: Fixed deposits and gold provide stability but limited growth. As you are not invested in mutual funds or shares, consider allocating a portion of your corpus to mutual funds for potential higher returns. This ensures you combat inflation and secure sufficient income over time.

Monthly Income Strategy: Currently, your rental income provides Rs 15,000, which is lower than your monthly expense of Rs 13 lakh. To meet this gap, look at creating a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) from mutual funds after a few years of compounding growth. SWPs in equity mutual funds provide tax efficiency and steady returns, especially if structured well with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP).

Meeting Educational Goals
You’ve indicated a requirement of Rs 40 lakh for children’s education in the next three years. Setting aside this amount in safe, short-term investments will ensure that the funds are available when needed.

Debt Funds: Consider debt mutual funds for these short-term goals. They can yield better post-tax returns than FDs, especially for three-year horizons. The redemption process is straightforward, and the returns are stable, though there might be minimal interest rate fluctuations.

Dedicated Education Corpus: Instead of dipping into the retirement corpus later, isolate the Rs 40 lakh you’ll need. This approach ensures that your primary retirement corpus remains untouched and can continue to grow.

Optimizing Monthly Expenses
Managing expenses within your available income sources is critical when retired. Here’s a closer look at expense management and maximizing income sources.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP): To cover monthly expenses, a well-planned SWP can give you regular income without depleting your corpus too quickly. This method leverages compounding returns while managing your tax liability efficiently, as SWP withdrawals from mutual funds have tax benefits when taken strategically.

Rental Income Optimization: Your rental income of Rs 15,000 per month is a good addition. Consider property management upgrades or modest renovations to increase this rental yield, potentially boosting your income stream.

Mutual Fund Investment and Growth
You have not yet ventured into mutual funds or shares, which are essential for compounding wealth over long horizons. Actively managed mutual funds offer advantages, especially with professional guidance from a CFP. Here are the reasons to start investing in mutual funds for your goals:

Equity Exposure: Equity mutual funds generally yield higher returns over 10-15 years, which can counterbalance inflationary effects on your corpus. Actively managed funds can outperform passive index funds as they adapt to market dynamics and benefit from stock-picking strategies, unlike index funds that may lag in fluctuating markets.

Regular Plan Benefits over Direct Funds: Although direct funds come with lower expense ratios, they lack professional guidance, which is critical for first-time investors. With a Certified Financial Planner, you can get personalized fund recommendations, enhancing your portfolio without the risks of self-selected direct funds.

Balanced Portfolio with Debt Allocation: Maintain a 70-30 equity-to-debt ratio for a balanced portfolio. While equity fuels growth, debt funds lend stability, cushioning your retirement corpus against volatility.

Inflation-Proofing and Future Growth
Inflation will impact your future expenses significantly, especially with a long retirement horizon. Here’s how to inflation-proof your corpus:

Inflation-Adjusted SWP: An SWP from mutual funds can be tailored for inflation adjustments, ensuring your monthly withdrawals increase to keep pace with the cost of living.

Review and Rebalance: Yearly portfolio reviews with your CFP are essential. Markets and personal situations change, so ensure your asset allocation reflects these shifts. Gradual rebalancing from equity to debt as you age will preserve gains and reduce risk as needed.

Emergency Fund and Health Coverage
Retirement requires a robust emergency fund to cover unforeseen expenses, especially health-related costs. Aim for 12-18 months of expenses in an emergency fund, held in a liquid form such as savings accounts or liquid funds.

Health Insurance: Since medical expenses can strain your savings, ensure you have adequate health coverage. Choose a high-value plan if you haven’t already. Critical illness plans can provide additional security against major health expenditures, ensuring that your retirement funds are protected.

Maintaining a Liquidity Cushion: Alongside health insurance, a liquid emergency fund will prevent the need to dip into your long-term investments prematurely. This cushion is particularly useful for any immediate, unplanned needs.

Tax Implications on Withdrawals
Understanding the tax impact of withdrawals can protect your returns. Here’s a summary of current tax implications for mutual funds:

Equity Mutual Funds: When you sell, Long-Term Capital Gains (LTCG) above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%. Short-term gains are taxed at 20%.

Debt Mutual Funds: Both LTCG and STCG are taxed according to your income tax slab, meaning careful withdrawal planning can save taxes over time.

Final Insights
With Rs 2.6 crore and no liabilities, your financial foundation is strong. However, to retire comfortably with inflation-proof security and regular income, here are the actionable steps:

Gradually diversify your corpus by allocating a portion to equity mutual funds for growth.

Structure an SWP to cover monthly expenses, alongside your rental income, to ensure steady cash flow.

Set aside Rs 40 lakh specifically for your children’s education, preferably in debt funds to maximize returns with lower risks.

Maintain a 70-30 equity-to-debt split to balance growth and stability, adjusting annually with your CFP’s guidance.

Keep an emergency fund and robust health insurance to handle unforeseen needs, protecting your primary corpus.

By implementing these strategies, you’ll secure a sustainable and comfortable retirement while meeting your immediate obligations and long-term goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |381 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 26, 2024

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Relationship
Mera ek 8 saal ka relationship hai me dipression me hu ki kahi wo mujhe chhod na de pr wo kehta hai ki meri job lgne ke baad shadi kr lega ek or baat hum dono pehle bhi shadi ki baat kar chuke hain ghar walo se pr uski family ne jyada dhahej na milne ke karan shadi se mana kr diya tha sath hi ladka bhi family ki bato me aa gya tha me dari hui hu kaise bharosha kru ldka lagataar saririk sambhand me rehta hai mana kr krti to kehta hai ki duriya badh jati hain physical na hone ek tarf me usko chhod nhi skti dusri taraf mere shahir ka istemal ho raha hai mera bharosha uth gaya hain is riste se ladka mujhe nikalne nhi de rha is riste se koshish krti hu to mujhe hi blaim krta hain meri sisters ko call krta h mere Father nhi hain or me bohut preshan hu is problem se
Ans: Dear Sapna,
Aap jo mehsoos kar rahi hain, woh samajhna zaroori hai. Aapka dar, ki wo aapko chhod dega, bohot ghera hai, aur yeh aapke mental health par bhi asar kar raha hai. Aapne kaha ki aapke partner ne aapko shadi ka vishwas diya hai, lekin aapko lagta hai ki wo apne parivaar ki baaton se prabhavit ho raha hai.

Is situation mein aapko apne liye khud se sawal karne ki zaroorat hai. Aapko yeh dekhna hoga ki kya aap iss rishtay mein khush hain, aur kya aapki zarooratein aur khwahishein poori hoti hain. Kya aapke partner ne aapke liye poora bharosa aur samman diya hai? Agar aapko unki taraf se milne wale pyar aur izzat mehsoos nahi hoti, toh yeh sochne ki baat hai.

Agar aapko physical intimacy se takleef ho rahi hai ya aap isse khush nahi hain, toh kya aapne unse is vishay par khuli baat ki hai? Yeh samajhna zaroori hai ki aapka man aur sharir dono ke liye yeh kitna zaroori hai. Agar aapko lagta hai ki wo aapko samajh nahi raha hai ya sirf apne fayde ke liye aapka istemal kar raha hai, toh aapko sochne ki zaroorat hai ki kya yeh rishta aapke liye sahi hai ya nahi. Aapka mental health sabse pehle aata hai, aur agar aap is rishtay se pareshaan hain, toh aapko thoda waqt lene ki zaroorat hai apne liye.

Agar aapko is rishte mein koi bhi doubt hai ya aap khud ko nahi samajh pa rahi hain, toh kisi counselor ya trusted dost se baat karna bhi achha rahega. Woh aapko naye nazariye se sochne mein madad kar sakte hain. Aakhir mein, yaad rakhiye, aap deserving hain pyar, izzat, aur khushi ke. Apne liye khud ka khayal rakhna zaroori hai, chahe wo rishte mein ho ya nahi. Aap akeli nahi hain, aur apne liye sahi faisla lena aapka hak hai.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |381 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 24, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
HI ma'am, i am 30 years old women. I hv never been in any relationship with anyone in my life. But from one year 4 months I'm talking with my cousins neighbor, we both became good friends.6 months ago we decided to get into relationship. We both are in a very good relationship, we are very very happy with each other. He is my home and I'm his home, But the most serious issue here is He is married and have 4 year old son. But they both are not living together from past 2.4 years because they both have issues with each other and with each others families. 8 months back he went to court asking his wife to come back to him because his lawyer suggested to not to send divorce notice directly in the beginning itself. But now she is not willing to come back to him, Her lawyer said that she want Alumnae. my bf is very good guy he loves his son ,he don't wanna give any money to his wife because he is feeling like giving money means accepting that he made some mistake, But he didn't made any mistake and we all know him very well. And also he love me so much. but now in mean time i got match, My parents got this match through my brother in law, they are forcing me to get married to the alliance guy, But I'm not at all interested. My BF divorce is still in pending. my parents are forcing me to marry a guy . i told to the alliance guy that i don't like him, But he is not telling it to anyone and forced me to get married to him. what should i do?
Ans: Since your boyfriend's divorce is still in the process and there are unresolved issues with his wife, it’s important to be realistic about the timeline and possible complications. Divorce proceedings can be lengthy, especially when financial matters and custody are involved. It may also be challenging for him to fully commit to a new relationship while he's handling these issues. This period can give you both the chance to think through your future together carefully and see if it aligns with your values and goals.

With the family pressure, it can help to calmly explain to them why you aren’t ready to move forward with the arranged match right now. If you feel comfortable, you might express that you need more time to consider what you want for your future. Remind them that their support in finding a fulfilling relationship is important to you, and rushing into a marriage when you’re not ready or interested may not lead to happiness for anyone involved.

This situation is about respecting your own feelings while also managing family expectations, which isn’t easy. Give yourself the time you need to weigh your options and avoid rushing into any commitments. It’s okay to put your own happiness and well-being first, and if you need more time to let things play out with your boyfriend’s divorce, be clear with yourself and your family about that. This decision is deeply personal, so whatever path you choose, make sure it aligns with your true feelings and future vision.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |381 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 26, 2024

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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