I am a 27-year-old govt employee. I was in a relationship for 4 years but the guy was never serious about getting a job.
If I talked about it, he used to say I am showing attitude due to my job profile and looking down on him.
My parents are now searching a match for my marriage. My parents also like him but the job thing is creating a hurdle for them too.
Still my parents are searching for me and I can’t find anyone like him.
I want a job for him even if it’s in any sector so that he understands the importance and struggles behind earning money.
Am I wrong in my expectation? Should I leave him and go along with my parents’ groom searching process?
Ans: Dear SL,
So, you want to have a relationship with a man who doesn’t want to take on the responsibility of supporting himself; let alone supporting anyone else? And also, finger points and makes you feel guilty for doing well professionally.
So, how much longer before you realize that unless he makes drastic changes and acts like a grown up. There is no guarantee when he is going to move from this childish behaviour.
Short and sweet suggestion; see red flags in a relationship when they appear.
In your case they are: Making you feel guilty for doing well professionally and not being serious about growing up and getting a job to fend for himself.
So, decide whether by marrying him, you will be his caregiver (mother figure who teaches him the value of a job and money) or will you ever get a chance to be his wife. The decision is yours.
Do the right thing for yourself.
All the best!
