I am married since 2010 but me and my wife do not get along.We live together for the sake of our 8 year old son.Last year I fell in love with a new female colleague who joined our office. We used to speak very warmly to each other and she shared a lot of details with me about her past life such as her childhood.We would flirt with each other playfully and share details of our daily life.She is also married with a child but she doesn't spend too much time with her husband and seems very independent.I felt like she liked me too. However after 4 months she suddenly said that she looked at me as her office colleague and was not interested in personal conversations. I have sent her many messages on Whatsapp asking her about the reason behind her indifference and she reads everyone of them. She hasn't blocked me but she doesn't respond. Even when I go to her directly she talks to me in a cold manner.But she also asked me about my mother's health when she heard that my mother was undergoing cancer treatment.I am unable to understand why is she acting like this and I also cannot let go of her.Can you please explain what is going on
Ans: Dear Boudhayan,
Office romances are fleeting ones that offer some respite from the routine home environment.
Obviously being married, it comes with it's own set of challenges with having to hide text messages, calls...it's stressful for you and her as well. Did you consider that her being cold now maybe because her husband might have found out OR that she is having a hard time juggling two lives. Out of marriage experiences can be draining...
Instead of seeking solace elsewhere, have you made an honest attempt to work on your marriage? Give that a fair chance first...Stepping out of marriage is an easy thing than working on a marriage which has a clot of challenges...but since you have decided to stay together for the sake of your 8-year old, you might as well work on your relationship with your wife...start with basic communication and seek the help of a professional if necessary...you maybe surprised that things have worked out...if not, then you can see, what can be done...
Intense connections like marriage or a relationship require a lot of time and energy...
Respect what the other lady might be going through...give her time and space to sort out what is happening at her home...also, she cares enough to ask you about your wellbeing...Be happy with what IS and do give your marriage an honest rebuilding...
All the best!
