HI ANU, MYSELF SANJEEV AND 45YRS OLD AND I HAD A CHILD OF 14YRS OLD BUT HE IS VERY MUCH AGRESSIVE NATURE WID ME AND NEVER LISTEN TO ME WHAT I SAID FOR HIS BETTERMENT, CAN YOU SUGGEST ME HOW TACKLE HIM
Ans: Dear Sanjeev,
I will be surprised if your 14-year old didn't give you a challenging time.
Embrace this phase as a part of stepping into the peak adolescent phase where he is striving to establish his independent identity before stepping into adulthood.
You will see him talk back rudely, ignore you, challenge your advice, give you the silent treatment and more...
The best ways to tackle him is:
Be a friendly parent and not a friend to him.
Ask questions more than instruct him.
Listen to him patiently without any interruptions so that he feels heard.
Don't threaten to withdraw his allowance or change the wi-fi password; this will only make him rebel more.
Tackle his screams/rude talks or rebellious streaks with a gentle smile at the end which will leave him guessing.
A magic statement that always breaks the ice in any relationship is: 'What will make you feel better?'
At the end of the day, don't worry. He has been raised with the values of your home; he will turn around...but do keep an eye as this is the age of digital media and the temptations are heavy and more. So, if you see something that is fishy or dangerous, seek an appointment with an expert who can guide him appropriately.
All the best!
