Hi Anu, my wife is very short tempered and impatient.
She regularly shouts at me, when one of the utensils is not washed properly or when I buy breakfast she doesn't like or on rare occasions when I forget to take garbage out.
Sometimes she just goes off shouting and I don’t even know the reason.
Communication is key here, but the thing here is she again starts shouting, simply refusing to listen to reason or logic.
There is no patient talk possible. And I have come to realize that she does this, because she simply can. No other reason.
Thankfully, she is all jovial and smiling while interacting with my friends or their wives.
Friends thus, have a hard time believing that my wife can be short tempered.
Sex life is non-existent because she is always angry about something.
On the rare occasion, she simply lies around while I have the sex. She simply has no interest in sex.
All I want is a non-angry household. She will also not join me to go to a counselor.
I can't afford a divorce because courts rule in favour of the wife and she will get daughter's custody. Not to mention I cannot afford any alimony.
All I want is a non-angry, happy household.
Ans: Dear VZ Is your wife always angry? By asking for a non-angry household, do you mean that there isn’t a single moment of peace at home?
It sounds unlikely but I understand that when you choose to see more of what you don’t like, that starts to become bigger.
Also, is it possible for you not to label your wife as short-tempered? Because this is what you will convey to her when in the moment of irritation.
It’s just that’s she is going through a situation which perhaps has gone on for a while now.
Now getting back to the environment at home, has you wife always displayed this kind of behaviour at home or has this been a recent occurrence or has something triggered it?
Sometimes, a massive change within the body due to age can cause it or simply put even excess house work due to the pandemic situation can result in a change in temper.
Can you make an effort to communicate with her and talk to her rather than expect her to change?
Communicate in love and care and support.
State what you feel bothered by and how this is impacting your daughter.
Appeal to her in love and once she realises that you are on her side, she might have a change in perspective and at least be willing to listen to you.
Also, when she has an outburst, do make sure that you don’t react as much as you want to.
Go silent (practice it) and let her release her emotions. Sooner than later when she sees no reactions from you, she might calm down as well.
I realise it might be hard to deal with this at this very moment, but as you are reading this, I would also urge you to focus on the moments of peace with your daughter.
Surely when she smiles at you, you do feel great, right?
Households are not angry and non-angry; people choose to feel angry or happy.
Why not start to focus on why you and your wife married and how a beautiful daughter came through both of you and that your wife must be going through something right now and that you can be a huge support for her?
Create a beautiful life!
