Hello.
I am 38 years old. I have gone through a very rough patch with my wife.
I have two children. Everything is good except, since the last three years, she never wants to be intimate with me. She never hugs/kisses me. She hates it if I hug her or kiss or touch her.
However, she take care of my all other things. I have talked to her straight-forwardly about this but she always says, ‘Bus mera dil hi nahi karta (I don’t feel like it).’
I take support of masturbation and other porn things.
Even in the night if I touch her, she shouts at me and I get embarrassed in the family as they listen all the shouts in the night.
I don’t want to leave her. How can solve it? I have nothing in my mind now.
Please help me to come out from the problem. I always care for her and love her. I can’t live without her.
Regards
Pardeep Suman
Ans: Hi Pardeep,
Something is definitely weird about your wife being so repelled by the act of physical love, to the point of shouting you away from her!
It could be anything, from feeling self-conscious about her body or some deep-rooted trauma that she’s coping with, or simply that she’s not enjoying sex any more or feels put off by it for some reason.
Is it that she was just tolerating sex even earlier in your marriage and doesn’t feel the need to do so now? Or did she enjoy it before and this phase has come on post having children?
You obviously can’t get through to her, so let a professional try to do so; I’d suggest visiting a marital counsellor as soon as is possible.
