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Anu Krishna |1016 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 02, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more

Question by Ashok on May 30, 2024Hindi

Relationship

I am young man in 40z, I have wife and a daughter of 13 year, I really don't love my wife at all. My work is catering, during my work, I fall into love with a girl, who is married n have two young kids, she also does not love her husband at all. So we began to love each other n have sexual relationship. After 6 months, I am tired n bored of her, as she fights violently with me everyday. I told her we should participate, she is not ready to leave me n says will suiside if I leave her. Please guide, how to participate from her.

Ans: Dear Ashok,
You are not happy with your wife, now you are not happy with the other lady.
What exactly do you want? What kind of woman are you looking to satisfy all your needs and whims? Because you are not going to find one.
The challenge is the way you are looking at marriage and relationships. Till you learn to respect what your partner brings into your life, till then you will not appreciate any woman and will keep jumping from one woman to the other and will continue to find faults in them...You are bored? Seriously? What if says that she is bored with you and then finds another man? How would that make you feel?
Treat people with respect and not someone who is present to fulfill your needs; that day you will find that your partner/wife is a wonderful person.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1016 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 08, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 07, 2023Hindi

Relationship

Hi. I am 41 year male married since last 15 years. I have a 8 year old daughter. My relationship with my wife isn't great as far as I am concerned. She was busy with her job and raising our daughter and while doing so could not focus much on our relationship. Our physical interaction almost stopped after our child birth and since last 5 years we never had intercourse. I engaged myself in casual relationship with few colleagues of mine and life was going on like that. But in 2021 , I engaged myself with another female colleague of mine and with her , I feel like what I have never ever felt with any other woman. I can't let her go. I long to meet her. I feel sad when she is away. And it's been 3 years. She loves me very much and I love her too. My wife got a wind of it and now she is trying hard to make up for the lost time and efforts. My wife loves me too. I don't want to separate from her because though she wasn't a great partner but she did manage our house and daughter diligently. Moreover, I don't want my daughter suffer too. She deserves both her parents. So, I discussed this with my wife and told her that , I believe we can't be a great couple but we can at least be good parents. Allow me to spend some time with my female colleague and let's continue as we have been doing since last decade. But she is not accepting this. And I can't let my colleague go. I do love her. She also loves me and is not inclined towards settling with me as she is married too and has 2 kids. Kindly suggest what to do.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There is some sort of trend of stepping out of marriage when physical needs are not met within the marriage. It's the easiest way out!
Why is it so hard to figure out what is happening when one of the partners in the marriage is not interested in intimacy?
Why doesn't the other partner try to understand, accept and work with the partner who is struggling through something?
And this goes for the husband and wife and partners within a relationship.

It isn't something written in stone that sex 'MUST' be a part of marriage BUT it certainly is a pillar to creating a stronger relationship. So, why assume and go searching for it? Then you will have all reasons to justify why you did it and how your partner is responsible for it.
Now, you are in a soup with two women vying for your time and attention. And with children involved, things only get complicated. Yes, your wife feels that it his her right to be in your life and your question is: where was she all these years? My question is: why did you stop trying all these years to put things together?

My suggestion: As much as you want to be in the other lady's life, she is clear that she does not want to settle with you. You are also clear that you don't want to separate from your wife but you want her to accept the other lady. Doesn't it seem highly impractical to you?

Before you end up hurting someone or yourself, do what's right for everyone and especially the children. They don't deserve a set of parents that is confused. Good people who come into our lives can end up becoming good friends as well.

All the best!

Anu Krishna |1016 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 27, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 18, 2023Hindi

Relationship

Dear Anu, I am a 58 year old businessman and am very well to do. I am married for the last 36 years and have 2 adult children, a 28 year old son and a daughter who is 25 years. I expect my son to take over my business. Since 2010 I have been in an affair with a woman who is 12 years younger to me. I wish to marry her even after 13 years of relationship. I even sought a divorce with my wife who is also a director in my company. Her demands are so high that it will leave me a pauper. I cannot leave this girl in the lurch. She is now 45 and unmarried. Now after 13 years she too has started demanding probably due to growing age and insecurity. We regularly have sex. I have not slept with my wife for over 12 years now. I consulted many lawyers but all said that mine is a hopeless case. to top it all, my other directors have also ganged up against me in support of my wife. My children too are against me so much so that they do not allow me in my own house. My girl friend is getting increasingly demanding and calling and telling me if I do not give her money or marry her she will go to court. She is now saying that since her siblings have dissociated her from their family I should give her INR 10 crores + a 3 BHK flat. I do have 2 mercedes benz, a skodia yeti, a harley davidson, a small farm house in Wai, a bungalow in Alibag in addition to a plush 5 bhk flat in Thane. What should do? Please help.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
How does Love turn into Greed?
And you still 'wish' to get married to her after all her demands? It's blackmail for heaven's sake!
At least for now, kindly realign with your family...Your wealth and assets must be protected.
What evidence does your girlfriend have against you to go to court and intimidate you this way?

Please take a firm stance and choose the side that protects your wealth and also your personal identity. You have put yourself at grave risk and for what? You will end up losing your family as well. Your girlfriend being alienated by her siblings has nothing to do with you...so why would you pay her? It doesn't make any sense. Once you yield to blackmail, it will continue...and who knows for how long!

Choose a side wisely and then stick by it firmly...I am sure you know what is to be done...

All the best!

Dr Ashish Sehgal |97 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 30, 2023Hindi

Relationship

Hi, I am married from last 15 year, having a daughter , my realtion with my wife is very bad, she is like this since start of marriage, our is arrange marriage. She didn't want any kind of responsibility, she always want to go out and if possible do shopping, if I asked not to over spend she thinks not sure what and create scene. She fight with everyone even in office or with her parents, she blames other for all this, never ever think she can be wrong, she is having a feeling if you correct her , she not going to like it, she will say no need to teach me , I know. She even not hving very good relationship with my daughter, she is in class 10th and staying in baording. I am hving 2 flat just like jodi flat adjacant to each other, i am staying in one and she is in another , she hardly let me hv sex, but she talks or chat with stranger whole night, i try to question her but she started fighting, she didn't listen and do what ever she want, if u question she will fight, i really don't know how to handle this situation, I am feeling trapped and she is accusing me for all the mess. We had fight lots of time , we abused each other during fight a lot , but the problem still persist nothing changed in 15 years recently after fight i stop talking with her . Not sure how I should move forward , i talked with my daughter and she also suggesting me leave her for some time she will realize , should i go for divorce or how to move forward.

Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a difficult time in your marriage.
It's important to remember that ultimately, the decision to stay in or leave a relationship is up to the individual. Here are some things you can do to help you move forward:

1. Seek professional help: Consider seeing a therapist or counselor who can help you work through your feelings and provide guidance on how to move forward.

2. Take care of yourself: Make sure you're taking care of your own physical and emotional needs. This can include getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and engaging in activities that you enjoy.

3. Set boundaries: If your wife's behavior is causing you distress, it's important to set boundaries. This can include setting limits on spending, or establishing rules around communication.

4. Consider couples therapy: If you're both willing, couples therapy can be a helpful way to work through issues in your marriage and improve communication.

5. Think about your options: If you're considering divorce, it's important to think carefully about your options. Consider speaking with a lawyer who can provide guidance on the legal aspects of divorce.

Remember, every situation is unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all solution. Take the time to consider your options and make the decision that's best for you and your family.

Anu Krishna |1016 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 19, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hi Anu, I am 47 year old. I have 2 kids one is in adolescent in age and other is 8 y.o. I and my wife are very much comfort and enjoy sex life since inception of our marriage. But, from last 7 years, i am in relation with a beautiful girl, whom i met as a sex worker, when she was 24. Her only source of income is her work (i.e., sex work). She is astonishingly beautiful. I went mad after since the day i met her. thought i could not do sex at first time, i did it in the next time and till now we mated just 7 times. She is epilepsy patient and she is very serious about her family. She has to look after her mother, a younger sister who is studying Law and two of her sister's kids ( her sister died ). She asks me for help whenever she falls short of money. She went to dubai in 2018, and continued her work there. I asked her to leave her job and assured a good income source and a respectful life. She hesitated to concur on my plan. The whole issue is known to my wife. She married an Indian residing in Dubai recently but for her bad luck, he is untraceable from 2 monhts in a war proned country. Now, she asked my help again after 8 months. we both were not in touch in these days. I lent her my helping hand again and expressed if she would have married me, i would have kept her happy. She loves me a lot, but since i am a married man, she does not want to create problem in my married life. I can convince my wife about her, but she (girlfriend) is not ready for it for the fear of my wife. I just can't imagine my life without her. that much i love her. I don't wish to destroy her married life either. If she gets her husband back, i will be happy, but i will be living in her memory forever, as i just cannot expect my life without her. I need your suggestion. whether to come out of her relation or continue if her hubby misses forever.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You do realize the mess that you are creating for yourself, your wife and this lady?
Do you really think it is possible to live in harmony with all these complications and then there's an absconding husband at the other end?
Be sane about the whole thing and focus on what's important to you...Your children need a stable family environment and you do not need to be told how crucial this is for them given their age...And just because your wife isn't complaining that does not mean, you just overlook what all this must be doing to her. Put your life back together and leave some things alone to sort themselves out...

All the best!

Anu Krishna |1016 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 23, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hi Anu! I am 46 yrs old. I am married and have two daughters. I fell in love with a woman of 3-4 yrs younger to me, around 8 yrs ago. She was not happy with her marriage and she took divorce as I helped her to come over her trauma. It was very fine relationship between both of us. Now she is asking me to give divorce to my wife and to get marry with her. I really love my wife and her also, b'coz she also loves me so much and so do I. What to do now as my wife doesn't want to accept her and neither she wants to accept my wife.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
No man would want to be where you are; seriously!
Now, how you got yourself in this mess is anybody's guess...but for the sake of your family (things are going well for you), make a decision that works best for everyone; at least in the long term. (It is ethically not right for me to make a decision for you).

It maybe unfair to either of the women and you are going to have to bear the consequences...
Now, I am not judging you or what you have done but you obviously knew all along that being in love with the other lady was a choice...also, now the expectation that she has from you is something that is uncomfortable to you.
Did she ever get this message from you that if she divorced her husband, that you will also divorce your wife and join her?
More than love, this has become neediness with demands...

Bottom line: Make a decision, stick by it and also help either of them tide over this! You owe them both that!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Latest Questions

Nayagam P P |1420 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 06, 2024Hindi

Career

Sir I am getting SRM Ktr cse, VIT Chennai cse core and VIT vellore cse almost same fees. But I feel Chennai is more updated and newer in terms of infrastructure. I also want to stay with parents in chennai as I don't think I would be able to live in hostel. What should I prefer?

Ans: Your question itself has the answer. You might be knowing Kaatankulathur is slightly outer. Even if you stay in Tambaram, the distance to SRM-KTR is around 16-20 kms. If you stay within city limit (even from Velachery/Guindy/Saidapet), it will be much difficult for your to travel to Kaatankulathur. Secondly, VIT-Chennai, I think, is lesser than SRM-KTR, if you travel from Tambaram. So, the order of preference on the basis of your wish to stay with your parents (1) VIT-C-CSE (2) SRM-KTR-CSE & (3) VIT-V-CSE. All the BEST for Your Bright Future.

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Nayagam P P |1420 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 06, 2024

Question by Jignesh - Jul 06, 2024Hindi

Career

Sir my son anurag is getting CSE in nitte minakshi and aerospace in RVCE and Robotics and AI in DSCE Bengaluru through COMEDK. Please suggest which one is better? Please help me out.

Ans: Jignesh Sir, Order of Preference (1) NITTE-CSE (2) DSCE-R&AI (3) RVCE-Aerospace. All the BEST for Your Son's Bright Future.

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Nayagam P P |1420 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 06, 2024Hindi

Career

Sir my daughter got 68000 rank ,2a general category in kcet she wanted to do btech mechanical at bmsce at this rank she may get bmsce banglore....and she wrote jee mains and her category rank is 84000 obc -ncl and AIR is 241000 homestate karnataka she have any chance in nits and iiits ....please advise us sir we are totally confused about her career...

Ans: For 68000, getting Mechanical with BMSCE not at all possible. Wherefrom you got this information? Anyway, once KCET Counselling opens, please fill in maximum number of choice of Colleges / streams your daughter prefers including RVCE, BMSCE, MSRIT, Dayanand, CMR, Alliance, Presidency, BMSIT, RVIT, NITTE, UVCE, BNM, Acharya, BIT, AMC etc. This is (choice filling for NITs/IIITs/GFTIs) applicable for JOSAA Counselling also which I think your daughter would have already done. All the BEST for Your Daughter's Bright Future.

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Nayagam P P |1420 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 06, 2024

Question by SRPNS - Jul 06, 2024Hindi

Career

Cse in ceg, ece in mit chennai, cse in sastra, eee in ssn, please help me to know which is better for my daughter

Ans: Order of Preference (1) CEG-CSE (2) SASTRA-CSE (3) MIT-C-ECE (3) (4) SSN-EEE. All the BEST for Your Daughter's Bright Future.

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Nayagam P P |1420 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 06, 2024

Question by M - Jul 06, 2024Hindi

Career

Sir, my son got 452 marks outof 500 in cbse. But he got 170 cutoff for tnea counseling. So getting first level colleges is difficult. He is willing to do repeater coaching for jee 2025. Is it fair for his future?

Ans: Revathy Madam, You have not mentioned whether your Son appeared in JEE this year or not? If yes, his Score? Had he joined any Coaching Center during his 11th / 12th? If possible, try for alternate solution (than taking a drop for next year JEE) as there are hardly 7-8 months left to appear for his 1st JEE-Main Exam. If he decides for a drop, here are some IMPORTANT Practical Steps / Strategies / Tips to prepare for his JEE next year: (1) Whenever he studies at home, he should study for 45-minutes. Then take a break of 10-minutes when he can move away from her study table, walk, have some water & relax. If he continues studying beyond 45-minutes, his concentration power will go down, resulting to low outputs. Most students commit this mistake. (2) On daily basis (morning or evening whichever will be convenient to him), he should do yoga or meditation or physical exercises or play any games / sports (whichever he can do) for at least 30-45 minutes. This will further reduce his stress / distractions. (3)He should study tough topics / tough subjects (applicable to him) early morning with his fresh mind. (4) Should eat a lot of green vegetables / fruits & avoid soft drinks / junk foods (5) Every day night, before going to bed, he should revise whatever he has studied during the day. (6) Also, he should revise every week whatever she has covered till date (here his short-notes which he should prepare will be helpful). (7) He should also keep practising questions on topics which he has covered either offline or online (8) He should give utmost importance to wrongly answered / difficult / complicated / tough questions and have a separate note-book specially for this for each subject (PCM) (8) He might be aware that NEET rank is allotted on the basis of highest score in Maths, followed by Physics & Chemistry. He should practice more and more in Maths, till he reaches Speed & Accuracy. (9) By November-December, he should attempt full syllabus online test series / mock tests, evaluate and analyse his performance such as, (a) which topic / unit / concept he is weak which needs revision and improvement as this will disturb him when he will appear in actual JEE exam (b) abnormal time taken to attempt any question which he can come to know from Online Test Series which he should reduce (c) which questions he skipped and why? (10) He should AVOID studying under pressure that he should get admission only into IITs/ NITs. Never advisable. Any one can be successful, even if he / she studies in NON-IIT / NON-NIT Colleges also. (11) Have Plan B & Plan C for other Colleges Entrance Exams / Disciplines-Streams. (11) Avoid comparing yourself with other students. (12) Also, it is highly ideal to appear in / attempt minimum 5-Entrance Exams (for both Govt & Private Engineering Colleges). He will have a lot of options (easiest method) to choose the best and most suitable one, keeping in view a lot of factors such as, College | Location | Your Interest | Stream Preference | Placement Records | College Culture | Your Short & Long Term Goals | Pressure He Can Go Through | Your AIR & Job Market Condition when he applies for his BTech & Even after. I hope I have answered to your question with value additions.

All the BEST for your Son's Bright Future.

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Nayagam P P |1420 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 06, 2024

Question by Sreedhar - Jul 06, 2024Hindi

Career

Dear sir. if we have to choose between RV CSE and BITS hyderabad/Goa EIE what do you suggest? Thank you

Ans: Sreedhar Sir, Order of Preference (1) RVCE-CSE (2) BITS-H & (3) BITS-G. All the BEST for Your Bright Future.

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Nayagam P P |1420 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 06, 2024

Question by Virupakshappa - Jul 06, 2024Hindi

Career

Hi sir , I completed 2nd pu and my kcet rank is 21233 so I want to join engineering so suggest me best college in Karnataka for this rank sir

Ans: Virupakshappa, you have NOT mentioned about the Streams you prefer. However, fill in the maximum number of Colleges & streams you prefer, beginning from Top Colleges like BMSCE, RVCE, MSRIT, Dayanand and also CMR | NITTE Meenakshi | New Horizon | Cambridge | BMSIT | BNM | Alliance | UVCE | Acharya | MVJCE | Presidency etc. All the BEST for Your Bright Future.

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Nayagam P P |1420 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 06, 2024

Question by DEEPAK - Jul 06, 2024Hindi

Career

My daughter has got offer for btech admission from Shiv Nadar University Greater Noida for Electrical and computer branch, CSE from KIIT Kalinga, CSE with specialization in big data from SRM Ramapuram. We presently reside in Lucknow. Which option should be taken.

Ans: Deepak Sir, Order of Preference (1) KIIT-CSE (2) SRM-R-CSE-BD (3) SNU-N-E&C. If Location of KIIT not preferred, she can go for SNU-N-E&C. All the BEST for Your Daughter's Bright Future.

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Nayagam P P |1420 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 06, 2024

Question by Hari - Jul 06, 2024Hindi

Career

Hi, we got ECE in both NIT Surathkal and BITS pilani, Pilani Campus. And we might get NIT Trichy ECE also. confused which one to choose among them. Please help

Ans: (1) BITS-P-ECE (if fees affordable). If note, (1) NIT-T-ECE (2) NIT-S-ECE. All the BEST for Your Bright Future.

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Nayagam P P |1420 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 06, 2024Hindi

Career

Good evening My son has got a seat in ece manipal mit. He has scored 241 in bitspilani n hopes to get mechanical or eie in bits hyderabad . He is interested in both electrical n mechanical. Plz guide which university n branch he should opt for ? Will branch would be more fruitful for him. Plz help???? I have messaged many times but didn't get a reply. Plz answer.????????

Ans: Prefer BITS for Mechanical or EIE. Have Manipal as your 2nd Choice. All the BEST for Your Bright Future.

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