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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |187 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 16, 2023

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
harish Question by harish on Sep 14, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

I am 38, married male with two kids. I got in touch with a widow aged 48 years and in a good relationship. She proposed me first and initiated into relationship. Prior to our relationship, she was in a relationship of 27 years and was still in his touch. Her husband expired just five days into our relationship. After that, when i got to know her relationship of 27 years, i tried to brake the relationship but she insisted that she is just good friend to him, and nothing more now. I relied on her version. Lately, from the past six months, she made my life hell by levelling allegations on me that I have relationship with my sister in law. I tried to make her understand that I call her beta as she is around 23 but still doesnt want to understand. I broke her with on 27 june, but she came again in july this year and said sorry. During quarrel period, she made call to my wife, my friends and levelled filthy allegations against me. When she came back, I forgave her and tried to make peace with her. But after that too, she still believes that I am in relationship with my sister in law. I got fed up with her and again broke with her. One thing more that we both invested our money in making one building as builder. She doesnot have permanent source of income and relies on making money as PG counseller. During this, she suffered from financial problems and took care of her monthly expenses, her ration, etc. Kindly help.

Ans: It sounds like you've been through a complex and challenging situation. Dealing with personal relationships, especially when there are allegations and trust issues, can be very difficult. Here are some steps and considerations to help you navigate this situation:

Reflect on Your Priorities: Take some time to reflect on what you want in your life and what is most important to you. This includes considering your family, your own happiness, and your financial stability.

Open and honest communication is essential. It's important to have a calm and honest conversation with her about your concerns and feelings. Ask her to clarify her doubts about your relationship with your sister-in-law and express how these accusations are affecting you and your family.

Trust Issues: Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. If trust has been repeatedly broken, it can be challenging to rebuild. Discuss the importance of trust with her and see if there's a way to work together on rebuilding it. Be prepared to listen to her concerns as well.

Boundaries: It's essential to establish clear boundaries in your relationship. Discuss what is acceptable behavior and what is not. Make sure both of you are on the same page regarding these boundaries.

Counseling: Consider seeking the help of a relationship counselor or therapist. Professional guidance can be beneficial in resolving complex issues and improving communication.

Financial Matters: If you both have invested money in a property together, it's important to discuss how to handle this aspect of your relationship. Consult with a legal professional to understand your options and ensure a fair resolution.

Self-care: This situation has likely taken a toll on your emotional well-being. Ensure that you are taking care of yourself, both mentally and physically. Reach out to friends and family for support.
Reevaluate the Relationship: Reflect on whether this relationship is healthy and if it's in the best interest of both parties. Sometimes, it's necessary to make difficult decisions for your own well-being.

Talk to Your Wife: Be open with your wife about the situation. Let her know what has been happening and reassure her of your commitment to your marriage.

Protect Your Reputation: If this woman continues to make false allegations against you, it might be necessary to take legal action to protect your reputation. Consult with an attorney about any potential defamation or harassment issues.

Distance Yourself: If the relationship with this woman is causing you significant stress and harm, it may be best to maintain distance from her. Focus on your family, your work, and your own well-being.

Learn from the Experience: Use this difficult situation as an opportunity for personal growth. Reflect on what you've learned about yourself and your relationships, and use that knowledge to make better choices in the future.


Legal Advice: If the financial aspect of your relationship becomes contentious, consider consulting with a lawyer to protect your interests and explore legal options regarding the property you both invested in.

Remember that each relationship is unique, and there may not be a one-size-fits-all solution. The most important thing is to prioritize your well-being and the well-being of your family. It may also be helpful to involve a therapist or counselor to mediate the situation and provide guidance on how to move forward.
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |866 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 13, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am 38yr old working women .I have 3year old daughter. 2.5 years back my father in law expired . After which my MIL started staying with us as my husband is a single child. She started creating lot of trouble in our family because of which my husband left me and my child.since then my husband is not staying with us neither helping me or my child emotionally and financially even after speaking to him.We took couple therapy also. Nothing changed. Now as I to put my child for school, I am feeling burdened emotionally, physically and financially which I don't want to show at my kid. kindly guide me to come out of the situation and give the best safe environment for my daughter.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Why should you bear the responsibilities all by yourself?
Legal separation has not happened and he is still responsible towards your daughter who is his daughter as well. If nothing has come out of therapy, then the responsibility to change and work on the marriage has not been a strong need.
Have an honest conversation with your husband on this; leaving home with no clarity for anyone is not a very nice thing to do...
Let him state his side of the story as to what he intends to do in the future with the marriage and maintenance of the child. If he refuses to offer support, legal recourse might be your only option.
But before doing anything, a frank chat with him is necessary. Know what's on his mind and do understand that your daughter is eligible to support financially from her father. So, don't go through with all this alone.
Do make an attempt to put things back together and then opt for other choices...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Patrick

Patrick Dsouza  |242 Answers  |Ask -

CAT, XAT, CMAT, CET Expert - Answered on May 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 14, 2024Hindi
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Career
Which is beneficial out of 1.Certficate programes by MBA colleges . 2 Distance MBA 3. Executive MBA 4. Regular MBA in India? Context: I have 12 year of experience in total in the IT sector. I am a solution architect earning around 50LPA CTC. I am exploring the options of doing an MBA and not sure which one is more suitable. I am in middle management and want to get into the senior leadership role. Objective: This MBA/certificate for me is a ladder to scale up. So I am looking only for top 5 management schools in India. Mostly from IIM's or ISB only. Expectation: Looking for alumni status Looking for network connections for better outreach for a job switch. Impression on Resume/profile to get a job in a higher designation. I am more concerned with designation although in the IT sector only. (Is impression is enough to scale up the ladder , with comm and tech skills. Not sure ) Constraints: I need remote education, and can't relocate to different cities. cant go beyond 6-8lakh fees. Options: Certificate Program (IIM, ISB, XLRI) Executive MBA(1 year)(Too expensive though) General MBA(2 year remote) From these options, which is the best alternative? and what is the difference between these? Does it hold any value on paper?
Ans: It is always preferable to do an Executive MBA considering what you require from an MBA course. But you have other constraints in which case look at distance MBA Certificate course. There are foreign universities like Wharton, Kellogg, etc offering Distance Certificate course, but if you plan to continue working in India, course from top IIMs or ISB or XLRI could be better.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |2273 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 15, 2024

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Money
I am 40 years old. I am having 23 Lakhs in PF, 15 lakhs in MF and 5 lakhs in PPF. Should I move funds from PF to my Mutual fund? Will that be a good option, taking into account of risk and return. What is the ratio of funds should I keep in FD, MF, Stocks and PPF?
Ans: At 40 years old, optimizing your asset allocation is crucial to align with your financial goals, risk tolerance, and investment horizon. As a Certified Financial Planner, let's evaluate the proposition of reallocating funds from your Provident Fund (PF) to mutual funds (MF) while considering risk and return dynamics.

Assessing the Move from PF to Mutual Funds

While PF offers stability and tax benefits, it may not always optimize returns, especially considering inflation and limited exposure to equities. Reallocating a portion of your PF corpus to mutual funds can potentially enhance your overall portfolio returns over the long term, provided you are comfortable with the associated market risks.

Determining Optimal Asset Allocation
Fixed Deposits (FD): FDs offer capital preservation and predictable returns, making them suitable for short-term liquidity needs and as a component of your emergency fund. Consider allocating a portion of your portfolio to FDs to meet immediate cash requirements and mitigate short-term volatility.

Mutual Funds (MF): With 15 lakhs already invested in MFs, you have a foundation in equity and debt instruments. Evaluate your risk tolerance and investment horizon to determine the optimal allocation between equity and debt funds. Equity funds offer growth potential but come with higher volatility, while debt funds provide stability and income generation.

Stocks: Direct stock investments can enhance portfolio diversification and potentially generate higher returns than mutual funds. However, they also entail higher risk and require active management and research. Allocate a portion of your portfolio to stocks based on your risk appetite and expertise in stock selection.

Public Provident Fund (PPF): PPF offers tax-free returns and long-term wealth accumulation, making it a valuable component of your retirement portfolio. Maintain your PPF investment to benefit from its tax advantages and stability in your overall asset allocation strategy.

Crafting a Balanced Portfolio
A balanced portfolio considers your risk tolerance, investment goals, and market conditions. A common rule of thumb suggests allocating a percentage of your portfolio to equities based on your age (e.g., 100 minus your age). However, this rule may vary based on individual circumstances and risk appetite.

Conclusion
While reallocating funds from PF to mutual funds can potentially enhance returns, it's essential to evaluate your risk tolerance and investment objectives before making any changes. A well-diversified portfolio comprising FDs, mutual funds, stocks, and PPF can optimize returns while managing risk effectively. Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner for personalized advice tailored to your financial situation.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |2273 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 15, 2024

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Money
I am 32 year old and beginner to mutual fund which one I need to start 1st to invest for my son and daughter studies they are 7 year old.
Ans: Congratulations on taking the first step towards securing your children's future through mutual fund investments. As a Certified Financial Planner, I understand the significance of starting early to harness the power of compounding for long-term goals like education.

Understanding Your Investment Horizon

At 32 years old, you have a considerable investment horizon ahead, aligning well with your children's education goals. With a time horizon of approximately 10-15 years until your children enter higher education, you can adopt a growth-oriented investment approach to capitalize on market opportunities and mitigate short-term fluctuations.

Selecting Suitable Investment Avenues
For beginners in mutual fund investing, I recommend initiating investments through diversified equity mutual funds or balanced funds. These funds offer a blend of equity and debt instruments, providing a balance between growth potential and downside protection.

Investing with a Goal in Mind

Since your primary objective is to accumulate funds for your children's education, consider opting for thematic or sectoral funds that align with sectors poised for long-term growth. Additionally, you may explore tax-saving mutual funds (ELSS) to avail tax benefits under Section 80C of the Income Tax Act while building your children's education corpus.

Incorporating Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs)
SIPs offer a disciplined approach to investing, allowing you to invest fixed amounts regularly, typically on a monthly basis. By leveraging SIPs, you can benefit from rupee cost averaging and mitigate the impact of market volatility over time. Start with an affordable SIP amount that fits within your budget, gradually increasing it as your income grows.

Leveraging the Expertise of a Certified Financial Planner
As you embark on your mutual fund investment journey, seeking guidance from a Certified Financial Planner can provide invaluable insights and personalized recommendations tailored to your financial goals, risk tolerance, and investment horizon. A CFP can assist you in constructing a well-diversified portfolio and navigating market fluctuations effectively.

Conclusion
In summary, initiating mutual fund investments at an early age can significantly enhance your ability to accumulate wealth for your children's education. By selecting suitable investment avenues, incorporating SIPs, and leveraging professional guidance, you can lay a strong foundation for your children's future educational endeavors.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |2273 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 15, 2024

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Money
Hello sir I want to invest rs.10,000 per month. Which index fund will be best for me ??
Ans: As a Certified Financial Planner, I commend your initiative to invest systematically for your future financial well-being. Let's explore various investment avenues to optimize your monthly investment of Rs. 10,000.

Assessing Active Funds Over Index Funds

Index funds, often touted for their simplicity and lower expenses, have their drawbacks. Unlike actively managed funds, which aim to outperform the market, index funds merely replicate a market index, limiting potential returns. Moreover, they lack flexibility in adjusting to market changes, potentially resulting in missed opportunities.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds, overseen by seasoned fund managers, offer several advantages. These funds capitalize on market inefficiencies and aim to deliver superior returns by carefully selecting investments. With the ability to adapt to changing market conditions, actively managed funds may better shield investors during downturns and seize lucrative opportunities for growth.

Navigating Direct vs. Regular Funds
Direct funds, while seemingly cost-effective due to their lower expense ratios, pose challenges for individual investors. They require active involvement in research and decision-making, demanding significant time and expertise. On the contrary, investing through a Certified Financial Planner offers access to regular funds via Mutual Fund Distributors (MFDs). This approach not only provides professional guidance but also streamlines the investment process, ensuring optimal portfolio allocation.

Exploring Alternative Investment Avenues
While real estate might seem lucrative, it entails substantial initial investment, illiquidity, and maintenance hassles. Thus, diversifying your investment portfolio beyond traditional avenues becomes imperative. Consider exploring options like equity mutual funds, balanced funds, or systematic investment plans (SIPs). These avenues offer potential for long-term wealth creation with relatively lower investment thresholds and professional management.

Crafting a Holistic Investment Strategy
Crafting a holistic investment strategy entails aligning your financial goals, risk tolerance, and investment horizon. As a Certified Financial Planner, I emphasize the importance of periodic portfolio review and rebalancing to ensure alignment with evolving financial objectives and market dynamics. Regular monitoring and adjustments are vital to optimize returns and mitigate risks effectively.

Conclusion
In conclusion, while index funds offer simplicity, actively managed funds present compelling advantages in pursuit of higher returns and risk management. By leveraging the expertise of a Certified Financial Planner and exploring diversified investment avenues, you can navigate the financial landscape with confidence and achieve your long-term financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |2273 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 15, 2024

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Money
I am 32 year old investing in SIP since 1 year in Parag Parikh flexi cap 15k with 10% step up, Mirae asset and Canara robeco ELSS MF 5k each, Nippon large cap 5k , Nippon small cap 2.5k , Quant small cap 5k , HDFC small cap 3k , PGIM midcap opportunities 5k and Zerodha Elss MF 2k almost 50k per some mutual fund started 6 month ago my Target corpus is 10cr for NXT 15-20 years.is it possible ?
Ans: Given your age of 32 and your current SIP investments totaling ?50,000 per month across various mutual funds, achieving a target corpus of ?10 crores over the next 15-20 years is indeed feasible, but it depends on several factors.

Factors Affecting Goal Achievement:
1. Investment Horizon:
With a 15-20 year investment horizon, you have ample time to benefit from compounding returns, which can significantly boost your wealth accumulation.
2. SIP Amount and Portfolio Allocation:
Your SIP amount of ?50,000 per month is substantial and demonstrates a commitment to systematic investing.
Your portfolio allocation across different mutual funds, including diversified equity, large cap, small cap, and ELSS funds, provides a well-rounded approach to capturing growth opportunities across various market segments.
3. Historical Performance and Future Expectations:
Historical performance of the selected mutual funds can provide insights into their potential to generate returns over the long term.
While past performance is not indicative of future results, investing in funds with strong track records and sound investment strategies can enhance the likelihood of achieving your target corpus.
4. Market Conditions and Risks:
Market volatility and economic fluctuations can impact the growth of your investments.
Diversification across different asset classes and regular portfolio reviews can help mitigate risks and capitalize on market opportunities.
Strategies for Goal Achievement:
1. Regular Review and Adjustment:
Periodically review your investment portfolio and adjust your SIP amounts or fund allocations based on changing market conditions, financial goals, and risk tolerance.
2. Increase SIP Contributions:
Consider increasing your SIP contributions over time, leveraging features like the 10% step-up option to boost your savings rate and accelerate wealth accumulation.
3. Seek Professional Guidance:
Consult with a Certified Financial Planner to develop a comprehensive financial plan tailored to your goals, risk profile, and investment strategy.
Conclusion:
Achieving a target corpus of ?10 crores over the next 15-20 years is realistic given your age, investment horizon, and disciplined approach to SIP investing. By staying committed to your investment plan, monitoring market developments, and making informed decisions, you can work towards realizing your financial aspirations.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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