Hi. I am 25 years old and she is 30. I need some more time to get settled but her parents want her to get married immediately. She is not working. I need your advice.

Ans: It can be challenging when families do not approve of a relationship due to age differences or other factors. However, it's important to remember that ultimately, the decision to enter into a relationship and get married is a personal one that should be based on the feelings and desires of the two people involved.

It's important to continue to communicate openly and honestly with your girlfriend and her parents about your feelings and intentions. Try to listen to their concerns and address them in a respectful and thoughtful way. It may also be helpful to enlist the support of a neutral third party, such as a family counselor or mediator, who can help facilitate a productive conversation between you and your girlfriend's parents.

However, it's also important to recognize that ultimately, you cannot control the decisions of others. If your girlfriend's parents continue to disapprove of the relationship, it may be necessary to consider whether the relationship is sustainable in the long term. It's important to consider not only your feelings for each other, but also the practical realities of your situation and whether you can build a fulfilling and happy life together despite any external challenges.

Ultimately, it's up to you and your girlfriend to decide what is best for your relationship and your future. It may be helpful to continue to work on building a strong foundation of trust, communication, and mutual support, regardless of the outcome with her parents.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Kindly step in for yourself and decide whether you want to marry or not OR when you want to marry. Expectations from family is something that you cannot avoid as each of them have a little something that they dream through you. Having said that, know that you are the Captain of your ship...so steer it in the direction that you want.
When you are clear about it, you will notice the same family members rallying around you and supporting you...
The things that you can consider before marriage:
1. What do you look for in your life partner?
2. What are some of the things that are an absolute MUST HAVE in your life partner?
3. What are some of the things that are a deal breaker for you?
4. What is really important to you in life and does that match with what your life partner wants?

Whoever you choose, do know that arguments are a part of any relationship or marriage and at that time what can keep you both afloat is the sole reason as to why you chose to be in each others' lives.

All the best!

Ans: Dear Shailesh,
Yes, the age gap might most likely bother her in a few years when she sees you growing older when she finds a lot of younger men around.
You did mention that her parents are concerned about this alliance BUT what about the girl? What does she think of marriage with you? Since she is young, has she had the time to process if the care that you were showering her with is not actually what she has missed from her parents especially her father? You need to be very careful of this one because she could be projecting her lack of love from her parents onto you and then seek it from you!
And you are right to be concerned about children as well...when you are 60 and wanting to slow down, you might still need to push yourself till the child is at least 20...Do the Math...
Do make the girl aware of these concerns that you have and let her decide for herself independently...You will agree that you cannot become a caring figure in her life rather than a husband.

All the best!

Ans: Dear Chetna
I can understand your concerns and frustrations. Marriage is a significant decision, and it's essential to ensure that both you and your partner are on the same page and that your families are supportive It's crucial to have open and honest communication with your partner about your concerns and expectations regarding marriage. Express your feelings about the delays and uncertainties and try to understand his perspective as well. Discuss how you both envision your future together and whether you're both willing to address the concerns raised by your families. While marriage is an important milestone, it's essential to prioritize your own well-being and happiness. Evaluate whether the current situation aligns with your values, goals, and expectations for the future. Consider whether waiting for resolution and working through challenges with your partner is worth it to you in the long run Ultimately, the decision to wait for resolution or move forward with your life is a deeply personal one. Take the time to reflect on what matters most to you and what you're willing to compromise on in your pursuit of a fulfilling and meaningful relationship. Trust your instincts and prioritize your own happiness and well-being above all else.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Kindly focus on your career and building yourself up now...to even go and ask your girlfriend's parents for her hand in marriage, you need to have a stable job and she needs to also grow in her professional life...
Without this, you both can offer each other love but that is not enough in this real world; grow up...request her parents to give you time to be something and then propose marriage to her and also request her to take up a job and grow in her career. In a few years from now, both of you will be emotionally and financially mature to understand marriage and the challenges that come for it and be prepared to move into it together.

All the best!