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Aruna Agarwal  |57 Answers  |Ask -

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on Apr 22, 2023

Aruna Agarwal is a qualified child psychologist and behaviour therapist with over 20 years of experience.
She has a master’s degree in psychology with a specialisation in behaviour analysis. She focuses on children between the ages of 2-10 years who face challenges related to behaviour, language development or attention issues and providing them with the right life skills.
Agarwal is the owner of Kidzee, a pre-primary school, and Mount Litera Zee School that caters to primary students.... more
Jyotibrata Question by Jyotibrata on Apr 11, 2023Hindi
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My daughter is 14 years old, At this teen age she is addicted to mobile and using instagram a lot. She is quite narcissist and uploads a lot of photos and do make senior male friends. She is not at all focussing in studies. even she scored low marks in Std-IX for which she had to repeat class-iX and changed the school. I had already consulted a psychiatric and she is under medication. Even I got a pet (rabbit) for her . But still she is not reducing mobile consumption and not going school regularly in new school. Pl guide me what to do.

Ans: I can give you some pointers to check about the addiction to screen time.
1. How much time she is on mobile in the entire day.
2. Why is she liking the attention of senior male friends? ( How much time are we able to spend time with her - Are we always talking about working on herself?) The pressure on you can be tremendous but 3.I will suggest you to be with your child and be along with her and make her feel comfortable with you by being non judgemental for some time till she pairs up with you.
It's going to help her confide in you rather than friends. These type of children who need attention being their major function should not be given too much alone time. Replace the gadget with some thing which is equally reinforcing for her .
It can start gradually rather than doing too much and then not being able to meet your targets.
Can start with only 2 hours a day when you can spend quality time with her.
DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.
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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 16, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 06, 2023Hindi
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sir , i am 46 yrs with 16yrs of marriage and leading a normal life. I have 2 sons . My elder son is 15yrs (DOB 19/3/08). He is preparing for JEE mains and due to this he attends some additional digital classes apart from college.My problem is recently my son was caught watching porn videos . And when we doubt or tell him to avoid by telling the pros and cons of it ,he gets aggressive. At the ending of his 10th std, he was caught for the first time, but he said it just opened (porn link) by mistake.He was one of the topper in his school for 10th.He is good at academics. He does not have a personal mobile. Now in 11th std,only for online classes he has access to net. But this time i think he has got addicted.How to handle this addiction? And since last 1/2 month he is eating less, sleeping well. I know this is a natural feeling at this age , but he is watching perverted porn sites involving porn games.Please advise.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
As much as this seems normal for his age, a bit of experimentation can also lead to addiction. When this has begun to affect focus and concentration, it requires a bit of Intervention.
Kindly approach an Adolescent Counsellor/Psychologist in your city who can assess the situation and do something beyond talk and advising.
What will work is a combination of talk and certain exercises that will cause a break in this habit and instil a better form of channeling outwards and inward.
So, do not hesitate to take that help and guidance. You will thank yourself for it.

All the best!
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