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Dr Archana

Dr Archana Bajaj  | Answer  |Ask -

Gynaecologist, Obstetrician, IVF Expert - Answered on Apr 05, 2023

Dr Archana Dhawan Bajaj is an infertility specialist with over two decades of experience in IVF and reproductive medicine.
She founded The Nurture IVF Clinic in New Delhi in 2003.
Dr Bajaj has completed her MBBS from Maulana Azad Medical College and has a diploma in gynaecology and obstetrics and DNB (obstetrics and gynaecology) from the Sir Ganga Ram Hospital.
She has an MMSc degree in assisted reproductive technology from the University of Nottingham, UK.... more
Naz Question by Naz on Mar 02, 2023Hindi
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I am 38 yrs old and spouse is 43 yrs. We are living at company quarter with our 8 yrs daughter and she is not bad at study. In last september, I had a miscarrage after 7 months of pregency due to urine infection. My dilema is that can I go for an another pregency considering 1) late pregnancy at 38 or 39. 2) Remaining service life of husband is 17 yrs 3) Nuclear family i.e. no extra family member who can stay here in company quarter and old age to help us . 4) It is difficult to get a loyal housemaid. 5) fear of hampring daughter's education. 6) extra budget

Ans: "I think the compelling reason to have a second child should be to complete your family and provide a sibling for your existing child. At age 38, it is important to be under supervision and undergo appropriate genetic investigations to determine the possibility of abnormalities in the baby. Once these investigations are complete and everything is normal, you can proceed with the pregnancy.

Your reasons for having a baby, such as not being able to find a good maid, fear of tampering, or your daughter's education, don't seem very logical. Instead, it is important to economize your funds and channel them appropriately to be able to generate resources for both your children."
DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.
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Asked by Anonymous - Sep 12, 2023Hindi
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I have second marriage and staying 9 years. Now my age is 50 years, and my wife age is 40. I have one child years of years 6. I am in a managerial Position in a company. My wife is a Housewife and her behavior's, misconduct, lack of ownership towards me as well as home is always upset and irritate me. My child was born by IFV method due to her irregular period. She has got many opportunities to recover this problem and treatment also got an early-stage life. Due to lack of her understanding and knowledge, lack of own effort, irresponsible and liar nature, did not overcome her problem and therefore, we cannot go for second baby. Now me and my son also suffer from 2nd baby, though I have sufficient resource to look two children. I need to monitor all the things of my son’s health, extracurricular activity, education etc. She also neglects my mother. I feel she is very quality less and very dirty woman and talking valueless, not concern with health of own as well as other family member. Therefore, I and my wife staying in same home, but from last 4 years I have been separated from my wife and living in separate room. Sometimes I think to separate from my wife, but it may affect relation with my son as well as his mental condition. I am trying to adopt a second child also. I found she is not concern with quality, health, and economy. Therefore, I need to do home marketing, finance, monitoring home, health etc. which has already affected at my career also. Please advise me what to do? I feel my future is very dark with my wife. No emotions, no love and intimacy in the relation. I do regular walking & jogging and gardening is also my hobby.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
When you seem to have decided that your wife is not going to change, no matter what happens, you will not be able to see that change. Everything about her will be irritating and annoying.
Now you say that she could have done something to avoid IVF, but why are you not thankful that you have a child now.
Having another child as well has to be the choice of both parents. Does your wife want another baby? Just by having money to support the child is not enough. You also need to have the mental and physical ability and willingness to raise another child. Also, do you think it is wise to have another child with the current relationship challenges with your wife?
There seems to be some assumptions that you have made about your wife which could have happened due to misunderstandings and arguments over years. It is definitely from both sides. But since, you are writing in...I can only address your concerns...Obviously her lack of interest in the family also suggests that she also seems to have her challenges.
So, before anything else...first work on having a better marriage and this is a suggestion for both of you! You can eat the fruit from a tree without first planting the seed for the tree to grow.

Seek the help of a professional if you can so that both of you can first learn how to communicate with each other and then settles your differences and then you can start planning a brighter future. Continue with your exercise and always try to look for what's positive in your life. It helps to tide over challenges and have a better outlook towards life!

All the best!
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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 08, 2024

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Hello madam, I am 41 year old , married , my wife also same age have a daughter 4 year old. I lost my parent in the earlier age that i did not remember (when i was around 5 to 6 year old ) .After that i am grown up by my distance relative(which is now my in-law family).In my in law family only my mother in law and 2 daughter (One my wife and other my sister in law (un married , 35 year now ). So now i am staying in in law home only as i do not have any body apart from them. They are very loyal to me and take care very much as i told i am staying from childhood. I married around 10 year back and my wife first delivery is so complex one. Our doctor advice not to be proceed with any more pregnancy , it may harm her life. now mom-in-law, wife both telling me that get married to sister-in-law (just informally) I mean they want a baby by me and sister-in-law . because she is 35 year old now for make a family. sister-in-law she also agreed .frankly speaking i have physical relationship with my sister in law and the my wife knew that and she does not have any problem(she is not active in physical relation as her body is not supporting ). So need your advice in this case.
Ans: Dear Kumar,
What are you all a part of' a circus? So, if your wife might not be able to have a baby again, you are asked to marry your sister-in-law and have a baby with her? And oh, you have a physical relationship with her as well? What exactly is going on?

Marrying another person when your first marriage is still very much alive is not recognized by the Hindu Marriage Act. Informally marrying? What is this, some kind of a movie that you are all trying to enact? So, just because your wife is not physically active, you are trying to justify as to why you need to sleep with another woman just because your in-laws want it?

Please grow up all of you...move out of your in-laws house and make your own home and your family so that this intermingling does not disturb your marriage and especially your child. You DO NOT (if you are) need to feel obligated towards your in-laws because they raised you. This is not the way you need to repay them...Get a hold of your life!

All the best!
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Hi Sushil. My daughter is planning to do MS from US. She has got acceptance from two universities and waiting from one more. Meanwhile, I have approached bank for loan. Their list of documents require I20, whereas for I20 I have to show finance. How to solve this? Secondly, the fee estimate of University shows only for one year ( spring and fall), How can I show the requirement for two years to Bank? No.3: Whether cash in account to be shown while applying for VISA or bank loan also will do? Sorry I have asked lot of questions.
Ans: Hello R. It is great that your daughter has been accepted by a couple of universities in the US. To answer your question first, generally, banks do ask for I-20 to process the loan application; however, a few banks or NBFCs, e.g., HDFC Credila, could issue a loan sanction letter on the basis of the offer letter issued. You could use this sanction letter to call for the I20, provided the university is accepting the letter, or show the required funds in your savings account, provide a bank certificate, and then call for the I20.Expenses to be shown in the bank certificate or savings account to call for the I20 are for a year, which includes the total of tuition, food, accommodation, and miscellaneous [if any]. I20 will show expenses for 9 or 12 months; however, it will also clearly mention the start and end dates of the course, which would help the bank know the total duration of the course and accordingly sanction the loan amount will be sanctioned. Yes, both the savings account and the education loan letter could be used during the visa interview.

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Asked by Anonymous - Mar 29, 2024Hindi
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I was doing Business for past 23 years and have been succesful in that.. After COVID my business fell apart and I am trying to regain the foothold. Although I have created a good brand, I am not able to make the Money I was making earlier. However the buisness is picking up and I knew If I could have little more patience, I will make it. However the situation demands lot of financial requirements for my lifestyle and family. They are insisiting me to go for a Job now. My business is stagnent for past few years and it is slowly showing the signs of growth now.. I do not want any waiting time due to pressing needs. I am 49 Now.. I am not sure if applying for work at this age will help as I have no idea on the Job market.. I am getting very good offers on selling my Business. Kindly advice.
Ans: Dear

There are two parts.

Emotional...how you feel attached to your business.

Rational: your financial needs and the revenue that your business is generating.

Any advise us a function of both the above aspects. Unless one knows the current revenue numbers, growth potential of the business, competition and several such factors it's not possible to share any guidance.

Hence may I suggest you talk to your CA and other colleagues of yours, look at the numbers in hard way and then take a call.

Emotional aspect can be both strength and liability... strength because it will inspire you to make business grow... liability because you may be overtly attached to your business without looking at the financial realities.

All the best.
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Asked by Anonymous - Mar 28, 2024Hindi
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Sir im 36 yrs of age weighing 107 kgs and I regularly walk which helps in maintaining my weight but im unable to reduce belly fats. I walk approx 4 kms daily within 30 minutes .
Ans: Thank you for your inquiry. I appreciate your dedication to maintaining a consistent walking routine for weight management. However, if you're specifically aiming to reduce belly fat, it might be beneficial to incorporate additional methods into your regimen.

While walking is great for overall health and weight control, integrating strength training exercises can be instrumental in building muscle mass and boosting metabolism, thereby facilitating greater fat loss, including targeting belly fat. Incorporate exercises such as squats, lunges, push-ups, and abdominal workouts like crunches or planks.

To enhance the effectiveness of your walking routine, consider adding intervals of higher intensity. This might entail alternating between periods of brisk walking and intervals of more vigorous effort, such as walking uphill or increasing your pace to a jog for brief durations. This approach can elevate calorie expenditure and promote fat burning.

In terms of nutrition, it's crucial to pay close attention to your dietary habits, as they significantly impact fat loss. Prioritize a well-rounded diet rich in whole foods such as fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains, while minimizing intake of processed foods, sugary beverages, and excessive calories, which can contribute to belly fat accumulation. Additionally, consider reducing carbohydrate intake and increasing protein consumption in consultation with a registered dietitian for personalized guidance.

Overall, by incorporating these strategies alongside your walking routine, you can optimize your efforts towards reducing belly fat and improving overall health.
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