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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1809 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 11, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Aug 11, 2025Hindi
Relationship

My wife plays Candy Crush with random men at night. She even adds these people on her Facebook and social media. I have warned her so many times but she doesn't seem to care. She is 36 but behaves like a kid sometimes. She is playing games even when I call her during the day. Should I take her to a doctor?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Obviously, she does not seem to enjoy her time within the marriage or there's some other reason that she uses social media and online games as a distraction.
So, the two of you need to go to an expert who can guide you on getting your marriage on track. It may not just be 'her' problem but for both of you to deal with.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1809 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 27, 2023

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Relationship
Hi Anu, I am happily marrried for 11 years with no kids. This doesnt hamper our relationship and I wish to continue my life happily. Issue is i feel urge to chat with female friends, get into sexting and in a couple of instances got physical as well. In this process i have lost a few friends also as they did get intimate during the chat but later on felt guilty. I do not feel guilty. Me and my wife indulge in roleplays during foreplay and i am also open to be a cuckold during that. Sometimes she enjoys the talk of someone else but sometimes she gets turned off by it. I truely love her and would never leave her. But this habit of mine has cost me a few friends and i am afraid if she would come to know about this, it will destroy her emotionally which i do not want.
Ans: Dear Suraj,
Well, if both of you consent to this experimentation in the bedroom, alright...be happy! But, if she is not comfortable with something, then better to talk about it rather than push it any further. It's fun as long as both the partners enjoy it.
But, what seems to bother you is losing your friends due to intimate chats. Why are you indulging in it? Is it another form of experimentation? Is it an experience that serves you in a way that you can be closer to your wife?
Human beings do things that ultimately results in some form of gain to themselves. But if this is impacting your social circle, then it's time to understand that you must STOP!
Maybe what started off as harmless, turned into something more serious in your female friends and they feel guilty.
You might feel open and quiet fine with these intimate chats, but for them it doesn't end well and they have begun to move away from you. So, seriously turn this off and if you feel that this will hurt your wife, why then?
Making sense?

All the best! Do the wise thing!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |663 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 13, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 13, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I am a 53 year old male having troubled relationship with my wife off late. I am married for 26 years & was happy for 25 years. Recently due to my friendship & chatting with some female friends my wife grew suspicious & started keeping watch on my phone & location through setting on phone. I didnt mind as I was not having any wrong intention & relationship with any female friend. Problem started when my wife started interfering in my daily work by calling during office hours and asking what I am doing and with whom I am chatting etc. 1-2 times in a week this questioning turns into arguments & she use abusive language to confront. She claims that this issue of my infidelity haunts her all day and she cant sleep properly during night. Is she having some psychotic problem? Do we have to seek counseling together or she needs a Psychologist help? She is happy for 2-3 days in a week & this problem is not a everyday problem as she is pretty normal on other days.I love her unconditionally & cant see her sinking like this. Please help.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're experiencing difficulties in your relationship. I can offer you some general suggestions that might help in this situation.

Open and honest communication: Sit down with your wife during a calm moment and have an open conversation about your concerns and feelings. It's important to express your love and commitment to her, and also address the impact her actions are having on your relationship.
Seek couples counseling: A professional counselor or therapist can help both of you navigate through these issues. Couples counseling provides a safe space for open communication and can assist in resolving conflicts, rebuilding trust, and improving the overall dynamics of your relationship.
Individual counseling: In addition to couples counseling, your wife may benefit from individual therapy to address her feelings of insecurity, anxiety, and trust issues. A psychologist or therapist can provide her with support and guidance to work through her concerns.
Establish boundaries and trust-building measures: It's important to establish boundaries that both of you are comfortable with regarding friendships and privacy. Rebuilding trust might involve setting guidelines for communication, being transparent about your activities, and reassurance about your commitment to the relationship.
Patience and empathy: Remember that this process may take time, and it's essential to be patient and understanding with each other. Try to empathize with your wife's feelings and reassure her of your love and commitment. Encourage her to express her concerns and fears openly so you can work through them together.

It's important to note that only a qualified mental health professional can provide an accurate assessment. If you believe your wife's behavior is indicative of a larger mental health issue, it would be advisable to seek the guidance of a psychologist or psychiatrist.

Ultimately, seeking professional help can provide you both with the necessary tools and guidance to work through these challenges and strengthen your relationship.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |737 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 17, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 15, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, I been married for 15 years now. From last 4-5 years, my wife has been getting involved with Random men(Friend circle, internet friends etc). In few times I found out and she promised that she will stop. But In last couple of years, she been deeply involved with a man who is a friend of her. Her friends have been encouraging and helping her to meet him. She keeps giving vague excuses to go out , when i know she is going to meet her. We had multiple discussions and arguments regarding his involvement, but she keep saying she only talks to him as a friend. Her phone is locked, so i cant see the messages between them. But I secretly recorded a few of the conversations she is having with him when I am away at work. I was shocked by the brazen act of her to continue relationship with him inspite of my warnings. I am not thinking of divorce at the moment since the kids are involved. I am not able to figure out what to do, and since it is affecting my career and health and kids well being. Please advice
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand that divorce is still seen as a negative thing in Indian society, and as you rightfully said, it can have an impact on your kids but at this point in time, some form of separation, if not legal, is very much required. You cannot stand by while your partner continues to cheat on you. If it is indeed your misconception, you might have to sit together with your wife and clear it out once and for all. But if you are absolutely sure about this affair, taking some form of strict action is important. Love can fade over the years, but cheating is never acceptable and you have to communicate this with your partner. Let her decide between you and the man she claims is her friend. And, coming to your kids- it is better to have two happily divorced parents than two unhappy parents who were forced to stick together.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Shalini

Shalini Singh  |190 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Apr 10, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 10, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I have been married for 2 months now. before marriage, we met twice and only spoke on the phone mostly. During the talking phase, my now wife told me that she did not have any past and has hardly any male friends and has always been away from dating apps. However, after we got married I came to know she has been using dating apps like tinder,bumble,etc for years and was even involved with men in the past. One of such relationships continued till just few days before we started talking. She always seems to be lying and hiding when confronted about it. She always comes up with generic responses like she does not remember , she dont know or it was a normal thing , etc. this has led to arguments and I have found it extremely difficult to reason with her. This is going to an extent that sometimes it makes me think If i have made a correct decision about my marriage or not. Please let me know how do you see this situation.
Ans: I would start with the question - On why did you marry her? What was the reason for marrying her - I am sure it must be a fun/ nice reason - so focus on that. Now coming to her speaking to other men or being friends with them does not make her a woman of lesser values. Yes, she met them but things did not work out and anyways thats past and past is for a reason. Focus on now and on present - how is your relationship with her, how are you both to each other, do you encourage each other to follow your respective dreams, do you laff and joke a lot, do you both help in house chores, do you both allow each other to be as they are. Also know that it will take time to build trust - it can take anything from months to years....so be patient and work towards it. My take is focus on the now, the present and the future vs talking about the past....hope the response resonated well with you. Ps: I am building a matchmaking service to help people to meet each other for a long term relationship....some meet without them , many need them to help them find their special person.

..Read more

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |12508 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 12, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 12, 2026
Career
my daughter has secured admission in CSE-AI at IGDTUW .Going by the reputation of the institute she withdrew from BITSAT,JOSAA, LNMIIT and MHT-CET counselings. But now after attending the college for few days, she has been completely put off by the real bad infra and attitude of teachers there.Only viable option left now for her is COMEDK, where she can get CSE in MSRIT.We are delhi based and budget is not a issue. Please suggest further course of action.
Ans: Your daughter may consider switching to MSRIT CSE through COMEDK if her initial experience at IGDTUW has led her to reassess her choice. MSRIT offers good industry exposure and the advantage of Bengaluru’s strong technology ecosystem. However, it would be advisable to visit MSRIT and interact with current students before making the final decision.

Please also verify the current COMEDK counselling and reporting status, as deadlines and eligibility can vary by round. Before proceeding, confirm that her specific counselling status permits admission/reporting at MSRIT.

At the same time, it is important to remember that no institution is perfect; every college has its own strengths and areas for improvement. The decision should therefore consider academics, campus environment, faculty interaction, placements, peer group, location and overall student experience.

Finally, ensure that your daughter is comfortable and mentally prepared to relocate from Delhi to Bengaluru, and that you as parents are also equally comfortable with the transition. If MSRIT appears to offer a better overall fit after this evaluation, switching can be a reasonable option. If possible, it may be worthwhile to keep RVCE CSE as a preference until the final counselling round, provided your daughter has already included RVCE CSE among her choices. If the option remains available in the subsequent rounds, she can consider it based on the seat availability and her merit position. All The Best for Your Daughter's Prosperous Future!

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11390 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 11, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 28, 2026
Money
I am a 49 year old working as an E-Surveillance engineer at a Service provider in Chennai. I am on notice period. I am planning to start my own consulting services as free lancing in the same field. I have also got one contract worth 13 lakhs on which I will start working on from August onwards. These are just my annual consulting charges which will be paid by the customer on monthly basis after deducting 10% TDS. I need to understand how will my Tax liability be calculated for this FY. I am expecting one more contract worth 3-4 lakhs. Do I need to register for GST number? I have always done a job for 27 years. This is the first time I am doing something on my own. Hence these queries.
Ans: You have taken a good step by moving towards consulting. Having a Rs.13 Lakhs contract already is a strong starting point. Since this is your first year as a freelancer, keeping tax and compliance organised is important.

» Your Income For This FY

Your consulting receipts will generally be treated as professional income.

Your expected receipts are:

– First contract: Rs.13 Lakhs
– Possible second contract: Rs.3–4 Lakhs
– Total expected professional receipts: around Rs.16–17 Lakhs

The 10% TDS deducted by your customer is not an additional tax.

It is advance tax already collected on your behalf.

The TDS will be available as credit while filing your ITR.

» How Your Taxable Income Works

You will not normally pay income tax on the entire billing amount.

Eligible business or professional expenses can be considered while calculating taxable professional income.

For example:

– Laptop and computer expenses.
– Internet and communication costs.
– Software and subscriptions.
– Professional services.
– Office-related expenses.
– Travel related to consulting work.
– Other genuine business expenses.

Keep proper bills and payment records.

Personal expenses should not be claimed as professional expenses.

» Presumptive Tax Option

You may also check whether the presumptive taxation provisions applicable to specified professionals can be used.

This can simplify compliance for eligible professionals.

However, eligibility depends on the exact nature of your consulting activity and your receipts.

Your CA should confirm this before you choose the method.

» TDS Deduction

Your customer deducting 10% TDS does not mean your final tax rate is 10%.

It only represents tax deducted from your payment.

Your final tax liability will depend on your total taxable income for the year.

You will receive TDS credit while filing your income-tax return.

If the TDS is higher than your final liability, the excess can generally be claimed as refund.

» GST Registration

This needs careful attention.

GST registration is generally linked to aggregate turnover and the nature of services.

For service providers, the normal threshold is generally Rs.20 Lakhs in many states.

However, GST rules have several exceptions.

The place of supply and nature of your customer can also matter.

If your expected consulting turnover is around Rs.16–17 Lakhs, you may be below the normal threshold.

But do not decide only based on turnover.

Your exact consulting arrangement should be checked.

» Important GST Point

If your customer is located outside India, the GST treatment can be different.

Export of services has separate conditions.

Similarly, certain services supplied to customers in other states can require additional review.

Therefore, share the following with your CA:

– Customer location.
– Your location.
– Contract terms.
– Nature of E-Surveillance services.
– Annual contract value.
– Payment terms.
– Whether the customer is Indian or overseas.

» Advance Tax

This is another important point.

TDS may not cover your final tax liability.

If your estimated total tax payable crosses the applicable advance-tax threshold, advance tax may be required.

Do not wait until ITR filing to arrange the full tax amount.

Keep a separate bank balance for tax payments.

This will prevent cash-flow pressure later.

» Business Setup

Since you are starting freelancing after 27 years of employment, keep the setup simple initially.

Maintain:

– Separate bank account for consulting receipts.
– Proper invoices.
– Expense records.
– Customer contracts.
– TDS certificates.
– GST records if registration becomes applicable.
– Advance-tax payment records.

This will make future tax filing much easier.

» Transition From Salary To Consulting

Your first year needs extra care.

You may have salary income for part of the year.

You will then have professional income from consulting.

Both incomes will form part of your overall taxable income.

Also consider your final salary, notice-period payments, leave encashment and other employment-related receipts.

These should be included correctly.

» Retirement And Insurance

At age 49, your retirement planning should continue even after leaving employment.

EPF contributions may reduce or stop after leaving the job.

Therefore, create a separate retirement investment plan from your consulting income.

Also review your health insurance.

Do not depend only on your employer's medical cover after leaving the company.

Maintain adequate personal health insurance.

» Final Insights

Your Rs.13 Lakhs contract gives you a good base for starting consulting.

The possible Rs.3–4 Lakhs additional contract can strengthen your cash flow.

For GST, your expected Rs.16–17 Lakhs turnover appears below the normal service threshold.

Still, GST applicability depends on your customer and service details.

For income tax, the 10% TDS is only a tax credit.

Your final liability depends on your total taxable income and eligible expenses.

Since this is your first year as a consultant, I strongly suggest having a CA set up your invoicing, GST position and advance-tax schedule correctly.

Once the structure is set, managing your consulting income should become quite straightforward.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11390 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 11, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 27, 2026
Money
I have invested in the following MFs 1) ICICI prudential BHARAT 22 FOF direct growth ₹210000 2) quant multi asset allocation find ₹318000 3) ICICI prudential multi asset fund ₹210000 4) kotak multi cap fund direct growth ₹150000 5) nippon india large cap fund direct growth ₹150000 6) nippon india multi cap fund direct growth ₹130000 7) HDFC balanced advantage fund direct growth ₹130000 8) ICICI prudential large cap fund direct growth ₹ 120000 9) HDFC flexi cap direct plan growth ₹ 90000 10) parag parikh flexi cap fund direct growth ₹92000 11) motilal oswal large and midcap fund direct growth ₹ 80000 12) motilal oswal BSE enhanced value index fund direct growth ₹ 80000 13) nippon india multi asset allocation fund direct growth ₹ 70000 14) HSBC value fund direct growth ₹ 55000 15) HDFC mid cap fund direct growth ₹ 50000 16) HDFC multi cap fund direct growth ₹ 55000 17) motilal oswal midcap fund direct growth ₹ 58000 18) SBI contra plan direct growth ₹ 54000 19) HDFC focused fund direct growth ₹ 43000 20) kotak debt hybrid fund direct growth ₹ 32000 21) ICICI prudential short term fund direct plan growth ₹ 20000 22) nippon india small cap fund direct growth ₹ 16000 23) HDFC short term debt fund direct plan growth ₹15000 . Please tell me which among them I should continue paying for SIP and which of them I should stop payment for SIP. Some of these are one time investment. I am 50 years old. These investments I have made since November 2024 till June 2026.
Ans: You have made a serious effort to diversify. However, 23 funds at age 50 is more than needed. The bigger issue is overlap, not lack of funds.

» Overall Assessment

Your portfolio has many funds doing similar jobs.

You have several:

– Flexi-cap and multi-cap funds.
– Large-cap funds.
– Multi-asset funds.
– Balanced advantage funds.
– Mid-cap funds.
– Debt funds.
– Value and contra strategies.
– A small-cap fund.
– A Bharat 22 themed exposure.
– An index-based value fund.

This makes monitoring difficult.

At age 50, I would prefer a simpler portfolio.

» SIPs I Would Continue

Based on the information provided, I would retain SIPs mainly in these categories:

– One good flexi-cap fund.
– One good multi-cap fund.
– One mid-cap fund.
– One balanced advantage fund.
– One multi-asset allocation fund.
– One small-cap fund, but with limited allocation.
– One short-duration debt fund, if debt exposure is required.

You do not need multiple funds within each category.

» SIPs I Would Stop

I would stop fresh SIPs in overlapping categories.

Specifically, review and stop SIPs in:

– Additional large-cap funds beyond one.
– Additional multi-cap funds beyond one.
– Additional flexi-cap funds beyond one.
– Additional multi-asset funds beyond one.
– Focused fund.
– Contra fund.
– Value-oriented fund if your core portfolio already has sufficient value exposure.
– Bharat 22 themed exposure.
– Index-based value fund.
– Debt hybrid fund if the balanced advantage and multi-asset allocation already provide enough stability.
– Additional short-term debt fund if one debt fund is sufficient.

Stopping an SIP does not mean selling the existing investment.

That distinction is very important.

» Your Large-Cap Exposure

You currently have multiple large-cap funds.

This creates unnecessary duplication.

One well-selected large-cap strategy is sufficient.

If you already have a strong flexi-cap and multi-cap allocation, even a separate large-cap fund may not be essential.

Therefore, I would stop fresh SIPs in the extra large-cap exposures.

» Your Multi-Cap And Flexi-Cap Exposure

You have several funds across these categories.

There is significant overlap here.

For future SIPs, keep only one core flexi-cap or multi-cap strategy.

You can retain another existing holding temporarily.

But avoid adding fresh money to all of them.

» Your Multi-Asset Exposure

You have multiple multi-asset funds.

This is another clear area of duplication.

Choose one suitable multi-asset strategy for future SIPs.

Stop fresh SIPs in the others.

The existing money need not be sold immediately.

» Mid-Cap Exposure

You have more than one mid-cap-oriented fund.

Keep one strong mid-cap strategy.

Stop SIPs in the additional mid-cap holding.

Mid-cap exposure can still be useful at age 50.

But it should not become an excessive part of your portfolio.

» Small-Cap Exposure

Your small-cap investment is currently relatively small.

A limited small-cap allocation can be retained if your retirement goal is still many years away.

I would not increase it aggressively.

At age 50, portfolio stability becomes more important.

» Bharat 22 And Index-Based Exposure

Your Bharat 22 FOF is a specialised exposure.

It should not be treated as a core diversified equity holding.

The index-based value fund also follows a rules-based index approach.

I would not use either as a core SIP allocation.

For the core portfolio, I prefer actively managed funds.

An active manager can change sector and stock exposure based on valuations and business conditions.

An index strategy generally follows its predefined rules.

It has less flexibility when market conditions change.

» Direct Plans

You have invested mostly through direct plans.

Direct plans have a lower expense ratio.

But there is no distributor-level portfolio service attached.

This becomes more important when you have 23 funds.

Managing overlap, rebalancing and goal allocation can become difficult.

Regular plans through an MFD have a higher expense structure.

But you also get ongoing portfolio review and service support.

For a portfolio of this size and complexity, proper monitoring can be more valuable than simply focusing on the lower expense ratio.

» One-Time Investments

Do not automatically sell one-time investments just because you stop the SIP.

Stopping SIP and redeeming are separate decisions.

First consolidate the future SIP structure.

Then review existing holdings based on:

– Current valuation.
– Tax impact.
– Holding period.
– Portfolio overlap.
– Retirement requirement.
– Exit load, if applicable.

This can avoid unnecessary taxation and unnecessary switching.

» Suggested Portfolio Structure

At age 50, I would aim for a much simpler structure.

A possible structure could have:

– 1 flexi-cap or multi-cap fund.
– 1 mid-cap fund.
– 1 balanced advantage fund.
– 1 multi-asset fund.
– 1 limited small-cap fund.
– 1 suitable debt fund.

That is enough for most investors.

You do not need 23 schemes to achieve diversification.

» Important Point About Your Age

You have around 10–15 years before retirement, depending on your retirement plan.

Therefore, equity should still remain an important growth component.

But taking unnecessary risk is not required.

Your portfolio should gradually become more stable as retirement approaches.

Start reducing equity risk well before the actual retirement date.

» Final Insights

Your biggest improvement will come from consolidation.

Do not keep adding funds simply because each fund looks attractive individually.

A good portfolio is not a collection of good funds.

It is a collection of funds that work well together.

I would stop most duplicate SIPs now.

Retain a small number of core categories.

Then review the existing Rs. amounts separately before deciding what to redeem.

At age 50, simplicity, diversification and retirement readiness should take priority over having many funds.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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