My wife is very active socially and often gets appreciation or small awards at different events and functions. Whenever something good happens, she gets genuinely excited and always makes an effort to share that happiness with her family. She never goes empty-handed - she'll take sweets or snacks for everyone, happily explain what happened at the event, who appreciated her work, and all the small details with excitement. But what I've observed is that her family - especially her brothers and elder sister - mostly just listen quietly, eat the sweets, and move on. They don't really ask questions, show curiosity, appreciate her efforts, or even casually discuss it later. There's no excitement, no proud reaction, not even simple comments like 'well done' or 'how did it happen?' Sometimes it feels emotionally very flat from their side. I personally feel bad seeing this because my wife genuinely values family support and always includes them in her happy moments. I can't understand whether this is just their nature, jealousy, emotional reserve, or simply the way some families behave without openly expressing appreciation. How should someone deal with this kind of silent response from close family members?

Ans:

She seems rather detached.

Explain that you would like her to be more involved in the marriage and share more of an equation with you.

Ask if she is comfortable in your home. Listen to what she has to say; if there are any complaints, address them.

It sounds like you live with your parents, and at the onset let me tell you that is usually a mistake. Particularly in an arranged set-up, where she has to adjust to not one but three people with whom there is little emotional attachment from the start.

Your problem should not be her sharing her life with her own family; that is unfair. Why not, if she is expected to share her home with yours? Because you're a man?

But yes, you should actively try to establish a warmer relationship with your wife. Being kind, open and compromising will go a long way in having her open up to you.

Ans: That’s a mature approach and already a good sign that your bond matters to you.
When you bring up sensitive issues like control or family dynamics, tone and timing matter as much as the words themselves. Choose a calm moment — not during or right after a disagreement — and focus on connection rather than correction. Instead of starting with what she’s doing wrong, begin by expressing your appreciation for what you value in her. This helps her feel emotionally safe before hearing something difficult.
For example, you might say, “I really admire how strong and organized you are, and I know you want what’s best for both of us. But sometimes, when big decisions happen quickly, I feel a bit left out — like my input matters less. I’d love for us to talk through things together a little more, so we both feel equally part of the process.”
When it comes to her behavior toward your family, use the same gentle, personal framing. You could say, “I know it’s not easy balancing relationships with in-laws, and I don’t expect perfection. But sometimes when my family feels distant from us, I feel torn. It would mean a lot to me if we could find small ways to make them feel included — it helps me feel more grounded too.”
Avoid using words like “you always” or “you never,” as those create defensiveness. Instead, focus on how her actions make you feel, and frame it as a team issue: “How can we work on this together?” This shifts the tone from blame to partnership.
After you share, pause and truly listen to her side — she may be reacting from stress, insecurity, or her own unmet needs. When she feels heard, she’ll be more open to change.
In short, your goal isn’t to win the argument — it’s to invite her back into emotional collaboration. The more you approach her with respect and vulnerability, the more likely she’ll soften and meet you halfway.

Ans: Dear Suraj,
I understand how difficult it must be when your family is giving you a hard time, especially when your wife is also suffering because of it. It is important to stand up for your partner if you think they are being unfair to her. It is important to set a boundary from the very beginning. Politely tell your family that while you love and respect them very much, you neither appreciate nor will tolerate this unfair treatment from them. Tell them that you expect their support, you expect them to love your wife as much as they love you, and most importantly, you never expected them to behave in this manner. Let them know how much their behavior has affected you. Sometimes people don’t understand that they are hurting someone with their words. And saying all these might create a little conflict, but it is important to stand up for what’s right, even if it is to family.

Other than that, communicate with your wife. Let her know that you are by her side and you realize that for no fault of her own she is suffering because of your family’s treatment and you are very sorry for that. Sometimes, even a few kind words from your partner can improve a situation.

Hope this helps.