Whenever I wear a short dress, I feel a little conscious because my knees are darker than the rest of my skin. My boyfriend often points it out and tells me to “do something about it,” saying he feels embarrassed when people notice. His comments make me feel hurt, insecure, and judged, even though I didn’t feel this bad about it before. I’m confused about whether I should change myself to please him or stand up for how I feel.

Ans: Toxic. Move on asap

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
He's just playing the immature person and passing it off as though you are the problem for that.
A person who has accepted himself fully can never accept anyone else because their job is to see what is wrong and try and fix it. He's doing that you.
What I would say is: Stand your ground by having a straight face, listening and then just letting it be...(hard but it just gives him the satisfaction of throwing it out)...now, before you jump to any conclusions, here is what doing this will give you. Once he complains, he will keep quiet and when there is no reaction from you, eventually he will try harder and then give up...the best way to defeat someone in this kind of an emotional brawl is to actually be SILENT! Hard to do, but it will work...
And you also get to be who you are...Now, when he's going to accept himself etc is a long road ahead but take this one step at a time...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry you had to face this. I cannot call someone a red flag based on one incident but this behavior is definitely not kind or preferable in a man you are committed to or want to spend the rest of your life with. Your partner is supposed to have your back at all times. Laughing along when he should have reprimanded his friends is, in fact, a sign of disrespect and while, to him it might be casual fun, it can actually be a reflection of how he feels and how he will behave in the future.

First of all, you do not have to change your style based on some people’s opinion, even if one of them is your partner. Secondly, have a direct conversation with him about how it made you feel. It is possible that he is oblivious to the fact that it hurt you. Even if he isn’t a red flag and to him it was an innocent joke, he needs to know how his action made you feel and needs to be held accountable. Based on how he reacts, defensive or apologetic, you can decide whether to give him another chance or reconsider this relationship.

Hope this helps.