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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1805 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 02, 2026

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 11, 2026
Relationship

Whenever I plan a family trip or even a simple one-day outing, my wife somehow ends up suggesting a temple visit as the main destination. I understand faith is important to her, and I respect that completely, but honestly I get a little frustrated because almost every trip starts feeling more like a religious visit than an actual break or vacation. Sometimes I just want to relax, explore new places, enjoy food, nature, or spend light-hearted time together without following a temple-focused schedule all the time. Even if I suggest a hill station, beach, resort, or short leisure drive, she'll usually try to include a famous temple nearby and make that the priority. After a point, I've started losing excitement while planning trips because I already know where the conversation will go. I don't want to hurt her feelings or disrespect her beliefs, but I also wish my idea of a relaxing holiday was considered equally important. How do couples balance different expectations like spirituality versus leisure when planning family outings?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Rather than having trips that cover only either/or, why don't you plan one that combine both...that way both of you are happy. Finish the temple visits first and then go and have a relaxed time by the mountains and oceans.
If this entails a long holiday and is hard to do, then have a conversation that you alternate between temples and leisure holidays.
There's always a mid-point, you know! And to accommodate each others' preferences is what makes for a happy holiday time...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 18, 2023

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My wife does not like Travelling. I am retired person wish to visit many countries. Travelling, meeting different people, tasting local food, writing blogs etc are my passion...however my wife hates travelling. Being vegetarian , wife not willing to have food at Hotels abroad. She says I will be tired & I can sustain cold climates but willing to undertake trips within India. Should I sacrifice my passion?
Ans: It can be challenging when partners have different interests and passions, especially when it comes to something as significant as travel. However, it's important to remember that compromise and communication are key to a successful and fulfilling relationship.

One option could be to find a balance between your desire to travel and your wife's preferences. For example, you could plan trips that incorporate both of your interests, such as visiting vegetarian-friendly destinations or focusing on places with a more temperate climate. You could also consider traveling for shorter periods of time or taking breaks during the trip to ensure that both you and your wife are comfortable and able to enjoy the experience.

Another option could be to pursue your passion for travel on your own or with like-minded friends or travel groups. While it's understandable that you would want to share these experiences with your wife, it's also important to recognize that it's okay to pursue your own interests and hobbies. You could also find ways to stay connected with your wife while you're away, such as regular phone or video calls, sharing photos and updates, or even planning a special homecoming celebration together.

Ultimately, it's up to you and your wife to determine the best way forward. It's important to have open and honest conversations about your feelings and desires, as well as your concerns and limitations. With communication, compromise, and respect for each other's needs and wants, you can work towards finding a solution that works for both of you.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 10, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 09, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
My wife takes spiritual practices very seriously and she thinks that sex will deteriorate the quality of her spiritual practices. She thinks sex and spirituality can't go together. I am always interested for sex. Any suggestion for both of us?
Ans: Balancing differing views on spirituality and intimacy can be challenging, but it's essential to approach the situation with open communication and understanding. Here are some suggestions that may help both of you find common ground:

Open Communication:

Have an open and honest conversation about each other's perspectives and beliefs regarding spirituality and intimacy.
Share your feelings, desires, and concerns without judgment. Make an effort to understand each other's viewpoints.

Educate Yourselves:

Read and learn together about different perspectives on spirituality and sexuality. Sometimes, gaining a broader understanding can help bridge the gap between differing beliefs.

Seek Flexibility

Explore ways to find a middle ground that respects both of your values. This might involve finding a balance between spiritual practices and physical intimacy that feels comfortable for both of you.

Involve a Professional:

Consider seeking the guidance of a relationship counselor or a sex therapist. They can provide a neutral and professional perspective to help navigate these conversations and find solutions that work for both of you.

Redefine Spiritual Practices:

Encourage your wife to explore spiritual practices that embrace physical intimacy as part of a holistic approach to spirituality. Some belief systems see sexual connection within a committed relationship as a sacred and spiritual act.

Set Mutual Goals:

Discuss your individual and shared goals within the relationship. Find common ground and align your aspirations, ensuring that both spiritual and intimate aspects are considered.

Respect Boundaries:

Acknowledge and respect each other's boundaries. If your wife feels uncomfortable with certain aspects, try to find alternatives that are agreeable to both of you.
Remember, the key is mutual understanding and respect. By openly discussing your feelings, educating yourselves, and seeking compromise, you can work together to find a harmonious balance that honors both your spiritual and intimate needs. If necessary, involving a professional can provide additional guidance and support.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |663 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 20, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi. I am a 52 year old male, my wife is 53 and we have two grown up kids and a pet. I was in a job till 2018 and thereafter switched to my own practice and there were some financial compromises which had to be made including home shifting etc. My wife befriended certain females who I suspect led her towards a lot of spiritual gyaan though those females were more into their personal material life. My wife became so involved with them and their topics that even when we were intimate she would pause and talk about them. That gave me a kick away from physical relations with her. She currently is more into a lot of spirituality and drawn to such friends and some widowed family members who only take her towards that path. I want to lead a normal intimate life with her as I love her and do not want to hurt her. I took her to a Gynae too for check ups and she only has the normal issues which a woman of her age would have. Children and spirituality have become her priority and pet has become mine's. How do we get back as a normal couple?
Ans: It sounds like you're going through a challenging time in your relationship, and it's understandable that you're feeling disconnected and frustrated. Reconnecting with your wife and rebuilding intimacy can take time and effort, but it's definitely possible.Sit down with your wife and express your feelings openly and honestly. Let her know how her focus on spirituality and her friendships have affected you and your relationship. Avoid blaming or accusing her, but rather focus on expressing your own feelings and concerns. It's important to understand where your wife is coming from and why she's prioritizing spirituality and her friendships. Listen to her without judgment and try to empathize with her perspective. Understanding each other's motivations can help you find common ground. Explore activities or interests that you both enjoy and can do together. This could be anything from going for walks, cooking together, or attending a class or workshop that interests both of you. Finding common ground outside of spirituality can help strengthen your bond as a couple. Prioritize quality time together as a couple. Schedule regular date nights or weekend getaways where you can focus on each other and enjoy each other's company without distractions. Show your love and affection for each other through small gestures, compliments, and physical touch. Rebuilding intimacy often starts with reconnecting emotionally and expressing your love for each other in meaningful ways. Reconnecting as a couple takes time and effort, so be patient with each other and yourselves. It's normal to encounter setbacks along the way, but stay committed to working through them together. Remember that rebuilding intimacy and connection in a relationship is a journey, and it may not happen overnight. With patience, understanding, and effort from both of you, you can work towards restoring your relationship and creating a fulfilling partnership once again.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1805 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 11, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello Mam, I'm seeking your help over topic that might not be a usual one. I am 42 and my wife is 37 and we are married from 10years and have two loving kids. We r working professionals and my wife is fond of reading lot of spiritual gurus in office over internet, to which primarily I have no problem. Now the issue here is she has very low to no interest in aspirations over usual things between a couple like each other wishes, priortising dis relation before others, a shared dream,a shared hobby, house decor or a common social circle, etc, no ornaments at home ,adoring with just a bindi is a debatable thing as for her because it's all a dikhawa.(though grooming well for office is a duty not dikhawa) .We sleep in separate rooms due to kids, Sex exist but is seldom and mostly a one way traffic. She doesn't take interest in my emotional well being because as per her I'm too confined in materialistic topics . She has an allegation too some day she was seeking the same things from me and didnt got so has found it all in spirituality. While I wonder what was dat exact date as marriage to me was to have a loving romantic and if not perfect but a true relation. .I rather see this as excuse for her deep interest in spiritual journey. What is common and connect us today is we both love kids unconditionally. I am happy go lucky person who believe in karma, god believing and nurturing family from bottom of heart and take every day as new opportunity , but there is a large space I'm lagging definately in this relation. I don't have any interest in diving into all spiritual content at all that hold answers to mystery of life or beyond life. During time of marriage she didn't shared such thoughts (now she say it's continuos evolution) but I feel it's a true cheating of kind to be in marriage and instead of weaving common dreams , deep dive into unilateral agenda. I do get busy to fill this vaccume but I m worried when I think of future as such people tend to further cut off from usual life is what I believe. I'm worried once our primary duties r complete wih regard to kids what will be common grounds in this marriage and if she pursue all this and takes to another level why shall I hue and cry at 60 regretting for my golden past years and whatever remainder future. Moreover, I won't like to ruin the kids mental and emotional well being in their upbringing at any cost and therefore kindly guide how to work things out with her.. What will kids learn from us as they see us two odd mind people staying together.. How will they begin their Romantic relations if dey see ours in misery all through childhood. I feel so sorry for them. What can I do as of now as I feel clueless and helpless inside.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It does happen within marriages where over time, as one evolves during their journey, their interests may not match with one another...
It is possible that the two of you started the marriage liking and disliking similar things BUT your wife is possibly exploring her path.
Now, it obviously can be worrying as treading on different paths can make you distant from one another. But with a lot of sincere work put back into each other and the marriage, things can get better.
- understand and accept that there is nothing constant in life and everything is dynamically changing
- spouses can pursue their individual interests within the marriage without damaging the relationship

Arguing about why things must be a particular way will not make sense as that will only give her the necessary fuel to go further away from the marriage. Spiritual pursuits may not make much sense to you, but what if you actually took interest in how she looks at it and what she gains out of it. Genuinely being curious will only want her to get back home to you and share more with you and still be connected with you.
It's like a child suddenly getting interested in a game or playing an instrument so much that they talk, breathe and live it. What do you do? Don't you get curious, ask them more, encourage them and when they feel happy doing what they love, they come back to you feeling supported and loved.
This is only mys suggestion: talk to her, tell her about your concerns and still make sure she knows that you support her journey. I do feel things will change for you at home this way...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |663 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 13, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
My partner and I are from different cultural backgrounds. She has always felt a strong spiritual connection to events like the Kumbh Mela. Earlier this year, while booking the tickets she had asked if I would like to join her as she is travelling solo. While I respect her beliefs, I refused to join because I am not a religious person. Now that she has booked her tickets, I am worried about her safety. Should I tell her to cancel her trip? I don't want her to think that I am disrespecting her choices or religion. Or should I just tag along and make her feel safe? How do I address these concerns and have a healthy conversation?
Ans: Start by having an honest conversation with her. Share your feelings about her safety in a caring and non-confrontational way. Let her know that your concern comes from a place of love and care, not from a lack of respect for her spiritual journey. It’s important to express that you understand her desire to attend the Kumbh Mela and that you support her connection to this event.

If you’re considering joining her, it could be a gesture of solidarity and support, even if you’re not personally invested in the spiritual aspect. However, it’s crucial to approach this as a way to share the experience together and ensure her safety, rather than as an obligation or with reluctance. If you decide to join her, communicate that you’re doing so because you want to be there for her, which could strengthen your relationship.

On the other hand, if you feel strongly about not attending due to personal beliefs, you can suggest other ways to support her. This might include discussing safety plans or staying in close communication while she’s there. This approach shows that you trust her decisions while still being there for her in a supportive way.

Ultimately, the conversation should aim to understand each other’s perspectives and find a solution that makes both of you feel comfortable and respected. Balancing your care for her safety with respect for her independence and beliefs is key to maintaining a healthy, supportive relationship.

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Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11200 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 12, 2026

Money
am 38 years old and planning to buy a high-rise apartment in Ghaziabad costing around ₹40 lakh. My current take-home salary is ₹88,000 per month. I can pay around 20% as a down payment and finance the remaining 80% through a home loan. However, after making the down payment, I will not have any emergency fund left for situations such as job loss, medical emergencies, or any other unexpected difficulties. My salary is the only source of income for paying the EMI. Therefore, I would like to know whether it would be better for me to buy the flat or invest in a 75–100 square yard plot costing around ₹15–25 lakh for future investment. Note- For the todays situation in india where inflation is increasing day by day should i buy or not?
Ans: Your concern is very practical. The biggest issue is not whether the apartment or plot gives better returns. The bigger issue is that buying the apartment will leave you with no emergency fund, while your salary is the only source for EMI payments.

» Looking at Your Financial Position

Age 38 gives you enough time to build wealth.
Monthly take-home salary of Rs.88,000 is decent.
The apartment cost of Rs.40 lakhs means you may need a home loan of around Rs.32 lakhs after the down payment.
The EMI would become a long-term commitment.
Most importantly, after the down payment, your emergency reserve becomes almost zero.

This is the point that deserves maximum attention.

» Why Emergency Fund Comes First

Job loss can happen unexpectedly.
Medical emergencies can arise without warning.
Family responsibilities may increase over time.
Home ownership also brings maintenance costs, registration expenses, interiors, and society charges.

If you exhaust all your savings for the down payment, even a small financial shock can create stress.

As a Certified Financial Planner, I generally prefer seeing at least 6 to 12 months of expenses and EMIs kept aside before taking a major loan.

» Should You Buy the Apartment Now?

If the flat is for self-occupation and you genuinely need a house for your family, buying can be considered.
However, I would not recommend proceeding if it leaves you with no emergency reserve.
A few years' delay is often better than entering home ownership with financial vulnerability.

Inflation is rising, but that alone should not force a purchase decision.

A financially strong buyer usually gets better peace of mind than a financially stretched buyer.

» What About Buying a Plot?

Since you specifically asked for a comparison, a plot generally requires lower capital commitment than the apartment you are considering.
It avoids a large EMI burden.
It allows you to preserve some liquidity.
However, plots do not generate regular income and can remain idle for long periods.

The decision should not be based purely on expected appreciation.

» Inflation and Today's Situation

Inflation is certainly increasing the cost of living.
But inflation also increases future salaries and earning potential for many professionals.
Taking a large loan without emergency reserves is a bigger risk than inflation itself.
Financial flexibility is valuable during uncertain economic periods.

» A More Balanced Approach

First build a strong emergency fund.
Ensure adequate health insurance coverage.
Keep some reserves for unforeseen expenses.
Then proceed with property purchase when the down payment does not wipe out your savings.
Avoid stretching yourself to the maximum loan eligibility offered by the bank.

» Final Insights

Based on the information provided, I would be cautious about purchasing the Rs.40 lakh apartment immediately because it leaves you without an emergency fund.
The lack of financial cushion is a bigger concern than inflation.
Strengthening your emergency reserve first can make the home purchase much safer.
Do not rush into a property decision simply because prices may rise in future.
A strong financial foundation should come before a large EMI commitment.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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