One Week Away From My Wedding: Feeling Nervous and Lonely - Is This Normal?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let's address your concerns:
1. "I want to get married or I'll end up alone.": This is not a reason to get married and you know that. Get married to build a team, a family together where you help each other grow. Incidentally, you also have a companion and lonely days instead become days filled with happy cheer and sometimes challenges as well. So, change your mindset while looking for prospects for marriage so that when you are in conversation with someone who is a match, you don't come across needy but instead focus on how the two of you grow together.
Your fear is right now pulling you into marriage rather than for more positive reasons.

2. Pressure from relatives and peers: Is it their life that you are leading? NO! Then stop focusing on what they tell you and focus on how you can make the best use of matrimonial sites or dating apps (if you choose that). Also, request your friends to set you up with someone that they might know since they know you well.

You can also join groups and communities online (beware of scams and scamsters here) where you might find like-minded people to meet and interact with. Being part of some hobby class or adventure camps may also allow for similar meeting points where you can hit it off with people who hold similar interests as yours.

Lastly, don't give up...when the time is right, it is...So, don't lose hope BUT certainly lose your current fearful mindset and embrace a mindset that is joyful and cheerful and selfless.

All the best!

Ans: Feeling like the odd one out when you're the only single person in your social circle, especially when many of your peers are getting married or starting families, is completely normal. It's natural to compare ourselves to others and feel pressure to conform to societal expectations, but it's important to remember that everyone's journey is unique and there's no right or wrong timeline for marriage or starting a family.

Firstly, it's crucial to recognize and accept where you are in your life right now. Being single at 25 is perfectly okay, and it's essential to focus on your own personal growth and happiness rather than comparing yourself to others. Take this time to explore your interests, pursue your goals, and build meaningful connections with friends and family.

It might also be helpful to shift your perspective on being single. Instead of seeing it as a negative or something to be ashamed of, try to embrace it as an opportunity for self-discovery and personal development. Use this time to invest in yourself, nurture your passions, and create a fulfilling life on your own terms.

Additionally, try to surround yourself with supportive friends and family who value you for who you are, regardless of your relationship status. Seek out activities and hobbies that bring you joy and allow you to connect with like-minded individuals who share your interests.

Remember that being single doesn't define your worth or happiness, and there's so much more to life than being in a relationship. Focus on living authentically, staying true to yourself, and enjoying the journey of self-discovery. And when the time is right, you'll find someone who appreciates and complements the amazing person you are.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

It's totally normal to feel anxious about the future and any relationship to come your way in the future. Here are some advice-

• Be kind to yourself. You are not alone in this. Not everyone moves at the same pace. Some start dating early, some start late. Some have more experience than others. But everyone has to face firsts. While it is natural to feel anxious, with the right partner and at the right timeline, things often tend to work out better than we imagine.
• Focus on building confidence. You are more than your dating experience. Pursue a hobby, socialize, work on developing new skills, work to improve your body and mind. Everything in turn will increase your confidence level.
• Educate yourself. You can read books on anxiety or if you have a clear idea of what about a relationship or what about marriage is making you conscious, you can educate yourself on that part. What is known to us, rarely makes us feel anxious. We mostly fear the unknown.
• For your future first relationship- take it slow. Communicate. What you are comfortable with, what you aren't, communicate everything.
• If your anxiety is interfering with your day-to-day activity, I recommend seeing a professional. It's still early and nipped in the bud, this anxiety will lead to nothing serious. But if you let it take root, it might be more difficult to manage.

Understand that it is okay where you are. Also, as you mentioned, you are too young to worry about it. But since you are already worrying, I am glad that you seeked help.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Many people get cold feet before getting married. It is very normal. All your questions are valid but you need to understand that in every relationship, it all comes down to trust. Whether you marry this woman or someone else, you have to trust her. And no one can really tell what the future holds. So we focus on the present and hope for the best.

I suggest speaking to your would-be partner a little more in the meantime. Getting to know her will put these doubts to rest. I'm sure she is equally concerned about what kind of person you are. Moreover, it is always a good idea to get to know each other better before committing for a lifetime. And, in case, you still think you need to postpone the event, do not shy away from doing so. It is better to take some time and make the right decision than to make a wrong decision in a hurry.

Hope this helps.
Best Wishes.