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Overwhelmed with Debt: How Do I Come Clean to My Parents?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1762 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 25, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 14, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi, I have taken a lot of loans in past and I have not told my parents about it. Right now I don't have any savings and lied about it like life in metro city is expensive. My father is loosing trust on me as he is sensing that I am not telling the truth. What should I do? I can't tell him about my debts as it may totally broke his heart.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you want to win people's trust all over again, no more secrets...
Come clean and share everything with your father; obviously he wants what's best for you and after maybe some bit of taunting, he's surely going to support you with some good advice on how to get out of this mess.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10976 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 12, 2024Hindi
Money
I am in a debt for 40000 rupees. I am a student right now. I am in my third year. I don't know what to do. I can't tell my parents
Ans: Managing debt as a student can be challenging, but there are ways to handle it without involving your parents. Here’s a detailed plan to help you manage and eventually eliminate your Rs. 40,000 debt.

Assessing Your Financial Situation
Understanding the Debt
Total Debt:

Rs. 40,000.
Interest Rate:

Determine the interest rate on your debt. This helps prioritize repayment.
Monthly Obligations:

List your monthly expenses, including essentials and discretionary spending.
Creating a Repayment Plan
Budgeting
Track Expenses:

List all your monthly expenses. Categorize them into essentials (rent, food, transportation) and non-essentials (entertainment, dining out).
Identify Savings:

Find areas where you can cut back. Aim to save as much as possible to allocate towards debt repayment.
Set a Budget:

Create a realistic budget. Allocate a specific amount each month towards debt repayment.
Generating Additional Income
Part-Time Jobs:

Look for part-time jobs that fit your schedule. Tutoring, freelance work, or campus jobs are good options.
Sell Unused Items:

Sell items you no longer need online. This can provide quick cash.
Freelancing:

Use your skills to offer freelance services. Writing, graphic design, and coding are in demand.
Prioritizing Debt Repayment
High-Interest Debt:

Focus on paying off high-interest debt first. This reduces the total interest you’ll pay.
Snowball Method:

Alternatively, pay off the smallest debts first. This gives a psychological boost as you eliminate debts.
Debt Consolidation:

If you have multiple debts, consider consolidating them into a single loan with a lower interest rate. This simplifies repayment and may reduce interest.
Reducing Expenses
Essentials vs. Non-Essentials
Essentials:

Rent, food, transportation, and utilities. Aim to minimize these where possible without compromising your well-being.
Non-Essentials:

Entertainment, dining out, and luxury items. Cut back or eliminate these expenses until your debt is manageable.
Student Discounts and Offers
Use Discounts:

Take advantage of student discounts on essentials and non-essentials. Many businesses offer discounts to students.
Campus Resources:

Utilize campus resources like libraries, gyms, and career centers. These can save you money on books, fitness, and job searches.
Seeking Financial Assistance
Scholarships and Grants
Apply for Scholarships:

Research and apply for scholarships. Many organizations offer scholarships to students in need.
Grants:

Look for grants offered by your university or external organizations. These don’t need to be repaid.
Emergency Funds
University Emergency Funds:

Some universities offer emergency funds for students in financial distress. Check with your university’s financial aid office.
Local Charities:

Research local charities or non-profits that assist students in financial need.
Building Financial Literacy
Educate Yourself
Financial Literacy Courses:

Take free online courses on personal finance. Understanding how to manage money is crucial for long-term financial health.
Books and Articles:

Read books and articles on budgeting, saving, and investing. The more you know, the better you can manage your finances.
Creating Long-Term Financial Goals
Short-Term Goals:

Pay off your Rs. 40,000 debt within a specific timeframe. This is your immediate priority.
Medium-Term Goals:

Start saving for an emergency fund. Aim to save at least 3-6 months’ worth of living expenses.
Long-Term Goals:

Plan for future financial stability. This includes saving for major expenses and investing for the future.
Maintaining Financial Discipline
Avoiding Future Debt
Credit Card Use:

Avoid using credit cards unless you can pay off the balance in full each month. Credit card debt can accumulate quickly due to high-interest rates.
Loans:

Only take out loans for essential expenses. Avoid borrowing for non-essential items or luxury goods.
Regular Financial Check-Ups
Monitor Your Progress:

Regularly review your budget and debt repayment plan. Adjust as needed to stay on track.
Celebrate Milestones:

Celebrate small milestones in your debt repayment journey. This keeps you motivated.
Building a Support Network
Friends and Mentors
Seek Support:

Talk to trusted friends or mentors about your financial goals. They can offer advice and support.
Accountability Partner:

Find someone who can hold you accountable for your financial decisions. This can help you stay disciplined.
Financial Counseling
University Resources:

Many universities offer financial counseling services. Take advantage of these resources for personalized advice.
Online Resources:

Use online tools and resources for budgeting and financial planning. Apps and websites can help you stay organized.
Final Insights
Dealing with debt as a student can be overwhelming, but with the right approach, you can manage and eliminate it. By creating a budget, generating additional income, and cutting unnecessary expenses, you can start paying off your Rs. 40,000 debt. Utilize student discounts, scholarships, and emergency funds where possible. Building financial literacy and maintaining discipline will help you avoid future debt and achieve financial stability.

Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Many students face similar challenges. With determination and the right strategies, you can overcome this hurdle and build a secure financial future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1762 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 27, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello I have a strained relationship with my parents. I am 44 years old woman and married late. And now have twins who are 7 years old. Before entering this marriage, I was working and paid 50% of the earnings to my parents. And tried managing with rest 50% by paying home loan, food and others. It was very difficult but at times, i couldnnot manage on my own as the finances were tight and couldnnot save anything. Later, I took a break from work due to my love marriage and had to settle in a rural place where job opportunities were unavailable. I started a school but things did not go well and had to shut down due to covid. My money which I received from PF, gratuity all had vanished due to the school and my husband business also got into troubles and has no support from families. We were almost on roads and did not have any help. It was difficult to manage with twins. Then, i started with 5 freelancer jobs and made one lakh a month which was needed to support my family. In the interim, i got a good job at Chennai and moved with my husband. He too got a job in a start up and moved with me. His being a work from home could manage my twins while they were at home. While we started earning, again my parents started asking for money and I stopped supporting them, as my sister had started giving them money every month while i got married. My sister is well settled and runs a company abroad. I had got into a job and just settling down and did not want to take pressure again. I have my children and need to save for our retirement too. So, i started saving penny by penny. And due to not supporting my parents they do not talk to me at all. I too stopped as I thought it's better to be far with peace of mind rather than have frequent heart aches. Husband side story is that..after business got lost due to covid, his mother filed case against us stating that my husband brought loss to the business and need to step away and filed an injunction case against us. So, we could neither go to our property or restart business. As such, the case is moving and no relationship with my inlaw. But I always feel when children have holidays ...and children have been unaware of the relationship of grandparents and they yearn to be with them. They are growing up without any love of grandparents and they seem to understand. At time, I feel to help my family but I am scared as they will start squeezing me totally and I will be left with no savings. At this age, I have started to save and need it for our future. Am I doing it right
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Oh, yes, you are thinking and doing the right thing.
You have done what needs to be done for parents when you could and if by not supporting them with money now has made them judge you and distance you, then well, what can you do?
Yes, it's unfortunate that your children don't have the opportunity to get the love and attention of their grandparents, but if you look at how immature they have been and dragging you and your husband down, it's better to keep the children away from all this drama until things settle.
Children don't need a lot of people, they just need people who love them. I am sure you and your husband are doing just that. Focus on yourselves and make it work as a family. You deserve to be at peace after all that you have gone through. SO, don't waver and keep doing what you have so far to maintain that peace of mind.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10976 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 23, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 20, 2025Hindi
Money
I have total 30 lakhs of debts 3 credit cards outstanding is 4L App loan around 1L After all this I am telling lies to my parents about all my financial issues Every day it's hurting me more than my debts. When I tell myself I can able to clear everything once I talk to my parents I feel to give up after telling lies to them Right now I am earling 1.3L but for money I took from my friends I pay monthly interest Due to bounces all the months no one is giving loan to me Cc notices went home what not I am thinking this is a bad sign for me Can you help me which bank can provide a loan with less cibil how to go for moratorium for cc
Ans: 1. Acknowledge and Accept the Situation
It hurts to lie to your parents every day.

Financial stress impacts your mental and emotional health.

Accepting the truth is the first step toward healing.

Denial only delays recovery and prolongs pain.

A clear mind makes better decisions and lightens emotional weight.

2. Take Control of Your Emotions
Speak to a close friend or a counsellor you trust.

Share without needing repayment help.

Venting reduces anxiety and builds clarity.

Stress affects sleep, focus, and decision-making.

Healthy emotions support rational plans.

3. Evaluate Your Expenses Rigorously
List all income and essential monthly costs.

Include rent, food, utilities, travel, and subscriptions.

Eliminate non-essential costs like streaming or dining out.

Track every rupee spent for one month.

Reducing expenses frees money for debt repayment.

4. Prioritise Your Debts
You have:

Credit cards: ?4 lakh

App-based loans: ?1 lakh

Borrowed funds with monthly interest

Suggested repayment order:

High?interest app loans and friends’ debts
These have highest cost and emotional stress.

Credit card balances
Interest rates are often 36%+ and compound daily.

Lesser-credit debts like EMIs or personal loans once those clear.

5. Call the Credit Card Companies
Ask customer care for moratorium or settlement options.

Many banks offer 30–90 day payment relief during hardship.

Be honest—request supportive measures, not ignorance.

If they offer reduced interest or structured payments, take them.

This may stop notices and EMIs piling up further.

6. Consolidate Debts with a Personal Loan
Banks may still approve a loan if you explain repayment plans.

A ?5 lakh personal loan can refinance CC and app debt.

Consolidation lowers interest and turns multiple EMIs into one.

Use your salary of ?1.3 lakh to pay EMIs promptly.

Some finance companies offer loans to people with poor credit if salary is stable.

7. Explore NBFC or Salary-Linked Loans
NBFCs like Bajaj Finance, EarlySalary, or FlexSalary offer loans with lower credit barriers.

Your ?1.3 lakh salary is strong collateral.

Approval decision focuses on cash flow more than credit history.

Offer proof of salary and bank statements to increase chances.

8. Build a Realistic Repayment Plan
Create a debt repayment calendar showing EMI amounts, due dates.

Pay minimum due on credit cards to avoid penalties.

Allocate salary surplus toward highest-rate debts.

Use part of salary after expenses (~?60k after limiting lifestyle) to service loans.

Discipline and consistency are key.

9. Avoid Further Borrowing
Freeze credit cards via app temporarily if needed.

Don’t ask friends or family for more money.

Stop using money-lending apps entirely.

Build self-control—any future loan restarts the cycle.

Consider only once debts are under control.

10. Be Honest With Your Parents
Hide no more—maybe tell them in a calm conversation.

Say you’re taking steps to fix things.

Their support could relieve emotional stress.

A truthful family environment adds courage.

Transparency builds trust and makes recovery easier.

11. Monitor and Repair Your CIBIL Score
Credit score updates monthly in credit bureau reports.

Pay EMIs and bills on time to rebuild score.

Avoid applying for multiple loans at once.

Use credit sparingly—pay off full statement if possible.

A rising score opens access to better loan options later.

12. Build a Small Emergency Buffer
Aim to save ?10,000–?20,000 while clearing debts.

Use only in true emergency—medical, urgent repair.

This prevents future borrowing when needs arise.

A buffer also calms anxiety about unexpected expenses.

13. Seek Professional Help If Needed
A CFP-backed MFD can help restructure your financial life.

They assist with debt prioritisation, budget building, and credit rebuild.

Important: avoid ULIP upfront, they add costs without short-term help.

Actively managed financial guidance supports repair and future growth.

14. Transition to a Debt-Free Future
Month 1–2

Freeze credit cards

Request moratorium

Begin repayment of app and friends

Month 3–6

Apply for consolidation loan

Start EMI payments

Track spending and reduce costs

Month 7–12

Slowly repay consolidation

Rebuild credit with punctual EMIs

Start small savings plan

15. Learn Financial Discipline
Create budget post-debt

Limit lifestyle expenses

Save a small percentage for future

Avoid payday loans or app borrowing

Reinforce healthy money habits

16. Rebuilding Emotional Well-being
Acknowledge your progress openly

Avoid comparing with others

Celebrate repayments month by month

Engage in stress-relief hobbies and community

Share milestones with family for moral boost

17. Long-Term Financial Rehabilitation
After clearing debts, build a strong emergency fund.

Invest in mutual funds (preferably active via CFP guidance).

Build term insurance and health cover.

Plan for future goals: home, retirement, travel.

Maintain good credit score for future loans or needs.

Final Insights
Your progress starts with honesty, action, and discipline.
You’ve taken the essential first step by seeking help.
Start with moratorium and consolidation.
Set a rigid repayment plan and control lifestyle expenses.
Slowly rebuild credit and preserve emotional health.
Eventually you will free yourself from stress, regain trust and build a brighter financial future.

You are not alone in this—reaching out for help shows the path forward.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10976 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 21, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 21, 2026Hindi
Money
I’m a 35-year-old salaried professional aiming to build a long-term investment portfolio over the next 10 years, with a monthly investment budget of around Rs 15,000. I'm tempted to buy silver as an investment because silver prices today (Rs 330 per gram) look much more 'affordable' than gold prices today approx 15000 per gram). But I also know that price per gram doesn’t reflect actual returns when comparing silver vs gold investment performance. Is viewing silver as a cheaper investment option a mental trap for small investors, or does investing in silver genuinely offer better upside potential in the long run?
Ans: You are thinking in the right direction. You are questioning the price tag, not getting carried away by it. This itself shows maturity and long-term thinking. Many investors do not pause at this stage. You deserve appreciation for that clarity.

» Price per gram versus wealth creation reality
– Seeing silver at Rs 330 per gram and gold at around Rs 15,000 per gram creates a strong emotional pull
– Our mind feels silver is “cheap” and gold is “expensive”
– This is a mental shortcut, not an investment logic
– Wealth grows by percentage return over time, not by how many grams we can buy
– One gram at Rs 100 that grows slowly can underperform one gram at Rs 10,000 that grows steadily

» Why silver looks attractive but behaves differently
– Silver has a dual role: precious metal and industrial metal
– Industrial demand makes silver prices volatile and cyclical
– When the economy slows, silver demand can fall sharply
– This leads to long periods of price stagnation
– For a salaried professional with monthly investing, such swings can test patience

» Gold and silver are not growth assets
– Both gold and silver do not create earnings or cash flow
– Their value depends mainly on demand, inflation fear, and currency movement
– Over long periods, they protect purchasing power but rarely multiply wealth
– Expecting strong upside from silver over 10 years is usually unrealistic
– This is especially true when the goal is disciplined monthly investing

» Is silver a mental trap for small investors
– Yes, for many investors it is
– “I can buy more grams” gives psychological comfort
– But comfort does not equal better returns
– Silver often underperforms expectations when held for long durations
– Storage cost, purity issues, and liquidity challenges further reduce actual benefit

» Does silver have any role at all
– Silver can be used as a small diversification tool
– It should never be the core of a long-term portfolio
– Allocation should be limited and purpose-driven
– Treat it as a hedge, not a growth engine
– Overexposure can slow overall portfolio progress

» Better alignment with your 10-year goal
– At age 35, your biggest strength is time
– Regular monthly investing suits growth-oriented assets
– Actively managed equity mutual funds suit this phase well
– Active fund managers can adapt to market changes and protect downside
– This flexibility matters more than metal price movements

» Why market-linked metal products are not ideal substitutes
– They closely track metal prices without adding value
– No active decision-making or downside control
– Returns depend only on price cycles
– This makes long-term compounding weak
– Actively managed funds aim to grow wealth, not just track prices

» Risk, emotion, and discipline
– Silver prices can move sharply up and down
– Such movement can tempt investors to time the market
– Timing mistakes hurt long-term results
– Simple, steady investing works better than reacting to metal prices
– Discipline matters more than affordability

» Tax and liquidity awareness
– Physical silver has making charges and selling spreads
– Tax treatment can reduce post-tax returns
– Liquidity is not always smooth during urgent needs
– These frictions are often ignored at the buying stage

» 360-degree portfolio thinking
– Your Rs 15,000 monthly budget is a powerful habit
– Focus on assets that reward time and consistency
– Use metals only as support, not as drivers
– Growth assets should do the heavy lifting
– Review allocation periodically with a Certified Financial Planner

» Final Insights
– Silver looking affordable is largely a mental illusion
– Long-term wealth is built by return quality, not unit price
– Silver does not offer reliable long-term upside for salaried investors
– Limited exposure is fine, dependency is not
– Staying focused on growth-oriented investing will serve your 10-year goal far better

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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