I’m in a bit of an emotional storm and could use some honest, empathetic advice. I recently got engaged through an arranged setup. She’s everything I had hoped for—mature, innocent in her demeanor, beautiful, and emotionally grounded. From the moment we met, I felt like I’d found the right person to build a future with. I was genuinely happy and excited for the life ahead. But about 10 days after our engagement, she opened up to me about her past. She told me she had been in a physical relationship with someone before. She said she was scared to share it earlier, unsure of how I’d react, and that she didn’t want to lose me. She assured me that it’s completely over, that she’s emotionally detached from that chapter, and that she’s fully mine now. I appreciate her honesty, but I’m struggling. I feel discomfort, even a sense of betrayal—not because she had a past, but because I wasn’t told earlier. It’s hard to reconcile the image I had in my mind with this new reality. From what she shared, her previous relationship wasn’t healthy—the guy seemed to have used her emotionally and physically. That adds another layer of pain for me. I feel protective but also conflicted. I know she’s loyal now. I know she’s the right person for me in so many ways. But I’m stuck between my heart and my thoughts. I don’t want to punish her for her past, but I also don’t want to ignore my own feelings. Has anyone been through something similar? How do you move forward with love when the past feels heavy? Is this discomfort something that fades with time and trust? Any advice or perspective would mean a lot.

Hello I am 38Yrs old and married for over 10years. One year back i discovered about my wife getting involved with another man. I was shattered as we have two kids. I initially thought of straight going for divorce but our two kids were always a priority for me and opened up conversation with my wife on what inclined her to take this step. She was shocked that I am aware of her situation. She then opened up that she felt lonely at times when I was away extremely busy with my office and at times she required emotional support for which I was not there. I explained her no reason in this world can explain her act. She felt apologetic and I decided to give another chance to our relationship keeping in mind our kids future. Its now more than an year and our physical/emotional relation have intensified since the incident. We miss each other when I am away and get into steamy conversations to compensate whenever we are distant. Despite of this I still cannot take the past out of my mind and at times it disturbs me. I feel really cheap that despite of moving ahead in our life's why I still keep bringing the past in between our relation. Although I don't discuss anymore about the incident with my wife but she can very well sense the reason when I feel disturbed. I want your help on how to best overcome of such incidents emotionally and rebuild the lost trust with your partner.

I'm seeing a girl. We have been friends for sometime snd have recently been seeing each other. Everything is good. Just that she had had prior relationships and hookups whereas i haven't. This thing of her past is bothering me and causing trouble in my head making it difficult to accept and go further. We have talked about it intensively but somewhere its still there. What can i do?

I (30M) have been in the process of Arranged Marriage, screening prospective matches. Out of all the Women I'd met, there's this one Woman (28F) with whom I'm able to get along quite well. She's quite good in almost all aspects such as Appearance, Personality, Education, Career, Social & Emotional Intelligence etc. and our Interests & aspirations for Future, also align to a great extent. It seems Feasible that we build a Life together. Even she seems to be interested in me. But there's one major problem. She doesn't seem to be Trusting me well enough to open up to me, completely. We've interacting with each other since a Few Months, over Social Media, WhatsApp Messages, Phone Calls & even met each other personally on several Dates & spent good time together, understanding each other. We've discussed almost all the important aspects required for leading a Fruitful Married Life, such as, Finances, Family Affairs, Children, Future Plans in terms of Career & Personal Life, Our Travelling Bucket Lists etc & we seem to be quite compatible on almost all these aspects. But there's one aspect that she's not willing to Share with me openly. That's about her Past Relationship(s) & Sexual History. I had brought up this topic for the first time on a Date, when we'd spent over a Month in Courtship & were meeting each other in person for the 5th time. I started off by telling her that I had not been involved in any Romantic Relationship(s) either Serious or Casual, during my College Years or in my Early to Mid 20's as I had been going through a lot struggles, during that Age and I had started meeting up with Ladies only since the past 2-3 Years, after I was settled well in a stable Career & got Serious about Marriage. And obviously, I am a Virgin. When I asked her to share about her Past, she excused herself & left, abruptly ending our Date. I understood that she might not be feeling comfortable with opening up at this stage. I profusely apologized if I'd crossed my Limits, unknowingly & asked her to meet up for another Date, after a week, wherein I Reassured her that whatever is discussed between the both of us regarding sensitive personal matters, shall only remain between the both of us & need not be shared with anyone else (including Parents). She agreed with me but still didn't open up about her Past. I waited Patiently giving her few more weeks' time to open up as per her Convenience, but she never did. Whenever I brought up this sensitive topic again, she'd either change the Topic or make some Excuse to Leave, ending our interaction abruptly. I still maintained Patience & kept Reassuring her gently, that I want to know about her Past, not to Judge her, but only to understand her better. Still she seemed reluctant to open up about her Past, but is actively conversing on any other Topic. The last time we'd met personally was on a Dinner Date, a week ago. When I gently raised the Topic again, she seemed to get somewhat irritated & asked me "How does my Past, really matter to you?" I Replied that it is very much important for me to know everything about her Past, to be able to Trust her completely & take the Relationship ahead and once again I reminded her of both my Promises that I would listen to her with empathy & understanding without Judgement and that I would maintain utmost Secrecy with Respect to her Sensitive Personal Matters. Still she seemed avoidant about the Uncomfortable Conversation & tried to Gaslight me as if I'm Disrespecting her Personal Boundaries. Our Date ended on an unpleasant note & since then our Interaction over WhatsApp has been just minimal. I don't understand what's the matter with her, she never Shied away from discussing any other Important topic & communicated her views, quite effectively, giving me the Impression that she's a Matured Person, but I don't understand why she's so reluctant to open up on this Important topic, in spite of repeated Reassurances from my side. Please advise me, how do I proceed with this Sensitive issue? I am very much into her & wouldn't want to throw away such a Wonderful prospect as we seem to be getting along, quite well, with each other. At the same time, I feel the need to know everything about her Past Relationship(s) including her Sexual History, so that I can be sure about certain things, which greatly matter to me. My Gut Instinct refuses to Trust & Accept her completely, without this missing piece of Jigsaw Puzzle. I'm in great Dilemma now, any Qualitative Advice from Experienced People would be greatly appreciated.

Me and my girlfriend we both are in relationship from about last 2 years (almost). After such a long time I got to know that she had 2 relationships before me that too she didn't told I got to know it by third person she was sexually involved too (not intercourse but yes other things with one of them)... When I asked her that why you didn't told anything to me before she said she was scared that if she'll tell it to me so I'll leave her and she really did not wanted that... She was scared to loose me. And she was still in contact with that guy and when I asked her that why you were still in contact with him (it's been around 3 years they got separated) so she says that she is like that only... She can't deny anyone because of her soft hearted nature but she did not had any feelings for him. She also said that once she even went to meet him when he requested to meet and also on the same she claims that her soft hearted nature has done that she wasn't able to deny. I loved her too much but now all these things are hurting me like anything. (She is my first relationship before her i never had anyone)