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Is My Interreligious Love Ruining My Life? Seeking Support From Emotionally Drained Daughter

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1766 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 17, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 16, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

after revealing my interreligious love, my parents emotionally drained me, blackmailing me, as I'm their only child(girl)... Even I went to counsellor for emotional support but nothing works, that counsellor also made me feel guilty. Religion is not a problem between us, but for my parents and relatives that's their only concern and they afraid of future generation may be changed to other religion....I believe all god is one ...I need my parents and my love ....

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Since it's not an issue of inter-religion that bothers them but what will happen to the future generation, I guess things get a bit simpler to deal with...
Confide in your parents who eventually will understand that it's their daughter who they need to be worried about and not her children as she is there to take care of her children whenever they come along. So, ask them to support you and assure them that when the children arrive, they will obviously be exposed to both faiths which is a great bonus anyway. Children born into inter-faith homes do have an advantage of knowing both faiths and with that comes a lot of maturity. Talk to them as their loving daughter; they will come around.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
Asked on - Feb 17, 2025 | Answered on Feb 17, 2025
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But my parents don't like to follow both religion for future children. They are against inter-faith by saying society, relatives will be separated from us and they want only Christian religion for future. Me and my partner are not over religious person. My parents sometimes blackmailing me to choose them or my love.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Whose children are they going to be? Yours and your partner's right? So, should it not be the decision that the two of you make?
And hey, the kids are not even here yet? And you guys are actually squabbling over this? Seriously?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
Asked on - Feb 18, 2025 | Answered on Feb 18, 2025
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They make me stressed out. I love my parents, as being the only child, loving someone else other than parents considered as a crime?! . According to them, relatives,and their society, giving so much freedom is the reason for my love. Relatives going to blame them, society going to make fun of them in my area. Am I thinking about only my happiness not my parents happiness!!By thinking all these, giving me a guilt...
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
My dear girl, sometimes you need to take a stand for yourself. Love happens and it isn't well-defined to fit into every person's frame of reference and it is bound to ruffle feathers. That's when you need to work on your mind and understand what this LOVE means to you and whether giving it up OR protecting it will give you peace. So, sit down and think hard. What will taking a stand give you? What will giving it up take away from you? What will either of these decisions do for you in the long run?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
Asked on - Feb 19, 2025 | Answered on Feb 22, 2025
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I need my love, that gives me happiness, trust and loyalty. The problem is my parents not accept this, they are adamant in their decision. If I choose my love, this society and the relatives made them to commit suicide , because this is the condition of my surroundings and how they grow up. If anything like that happened to my parents, how can I lead a happy life?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Sadly, you can't control anything which means you can't have things going you way all the way. Some compromises are to be made. Now, you decide how much of what you can compromise and work on to make things work for you.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 05, 2024Hindi
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Hi, I am in a interfaith relationship since 6+ years and I have the sweetest and most well mannered and caring guy as my boyfriend. I was born as a Hindu and he’s been adopted in a Muslim family. Though we both are agnostic and religion barely made any difference or issues in between us. My family knows about us since the last 2 years and his family has accepted us and is willing to talk to my family. Whereas, my father was initially understanding and willing to talk but now he has turned totally against this relationship after my mother,brother and other relatives have influenced them. They have asked me to choose between them and my love. I told them that by doing this they’ve left me no choice but to die, in which they taunted me asking in which ritual my body will be cremated-the hindu way or the Muslim. I am mentally and emotionally broken and cant seem to think straight. It feels like i am being dragged into a blackhole and cant really come out of it. What should i do?
Ans: give yourself permission to focus on your mental and emotional well-being. It can be incredibly helpful to talk to a counselor or therapist who can give you a safe space to work through the overwhelming emotions you’re feeling. These conversations could give you clarity and strength to make decisions that prioritize your happiness and peace.

At some point, it may be worth approaching your family again, but with a different mindset—one that isn’t trying to change their beliefs but instead focuses on helping them see your happiness as a priority. You could try to appeal to them on the basis of your well-being, asking them to look beyond religious labels to see the person who loves and cares for you. They may need time, and they may resist, but sometimes families gradually come to understand that happiness in a relationship matters more than anything else.

In the meantime, lean on your boyfriend for support, and let him know how much you’re struggling. If he’s as caring and understanding as you’ve described, he’ll stand by you through this and will want to help you feel less alone. Whatever you decide, make sure it’s a choice you feel aligns with your own sense of self and future. The love you feel is real, and though this journey is incredibly hard, there is a path forward—even if it doesn’t feel clear right now.

..Read more

Aamish

Aamish Dhingra  | Answer  |Ask -

Life Coach - Answered on Feb 20, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 16, 2025Hindi
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My parents are friendly and supportive as I'm the single child. But , after telling about my interreligious love they hate me, we did everything for you then why don't think of us?...Actually , I love my parents that means to not love someone? I love my boyfriend as well , the problem is religion difference between us, what society say, religion force on future child, etc etc....they even said to choose between two.... I need both my parents and love.... But my parents care about religion... how to convince them?
Ans: You’re in a tough emotional situation where you love both your parents and your partner, but your parents see this as a conflict. Their reaction is driven by deep-seated beliefs about religion, societal expectations, and the future of your family. Right now, they see your love as a threat to their values rather than an expansion of family bonds. Instead of reacting emotionally or feeling trapped, try to approach the situation with patience and understanding.
Start by acknowledging their fears instead of dismissing them. Let them express their concerns, and in return, calmly share your perspective. Reassure them that loving someone from another faith doesn’t mean you are abandoning them or your roots. If they worry about society, show them examples of successful interfaith marriages where both partners have managed to respect each other’s traditions. Address the topic of future children with sensitivity—explain that faith can be a personal choice and that raising children with exposure to both religions can be enriching rather than confusing.
Change takes time, and their resistance is likely coming from fear rather than hatred. Continue to express love and gratitude toward them while standing firm in your decision. If possible, involve a family member, religious elder, or counselor they respect, as an external perspective can sometimes help ease their concerns. Stay patient, and remember that acceptance often comes gradually.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 16, 2025Hindi
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As a single child my parents give me full support and freedom. I made them feel proud in terms of my studies and my extracurricular activities, but after revealing my love with another religion(I'm Christian and he is Hindu),they feel their status ,fame will be gone, they asked me is this the way to honour us?!!, for this only we nourishes and protect you all these years?!!.... These made me feel guilty , is loving person as a single child is too worse?. My love is worth for it, at the same time I have to think of their health condition tooo....I'm in the feel of guilt as the single child is not supposed to love someone especially from other religion!!!
Ans: Loving someone is never a crime, and being a single child does not mean you should sacrifice your happiness just to meet societal or familial expectations. Your parents love you deeply, and their concerns likely stem from fear—fear of societal judgment, fear of losing their reputation, and fear of change. But love is not dishonor, and your choices in life should not be measured only by how well they align with their expectations.

Right now, the guilt you feel is because you have always made them proud, and for the first time, they are questioning your decision. That does not mean you have done something wrong. It simply means their perspective is different from yours, and they are struggling to accept something that challenges their beliefs. But love and respect should not be one-sided. Just as they want you to honor them, they also need to understand that your happiness and your right to choose a life partner matter too.

Instead of seeing this as a battle between love and family, try to have a patient, honest conversation with them. Assure them that your love for them hasn’t changed, and neither has your respect. Help them see the person you love beyond religion. Over time, they might come to accept it, but even if they don’t, you have to ask yourself—will denying your love make you truly happy, or will it only leave you with lifelong regret?

Your happiness is not a betrayal. It is possible to love your parents and also choose the life you want. This is your journey, and while their emotions matter, so do yours.

..Read more

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Naveenn Kummar  |247 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF, Insurance Expert - Answered on Feb 10, 2026

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Hi sir, I would like to invest in the market or bank or saving it on FD. Whatever way is possible. I want to save 1cr in next 5 years. As of now I don't have any saving yet. I will get 2l saving on my nemae in july. My month expenses is around 54k and my salary also 54 onlym currently I am filled with emis and some commitments till July 2026. I am thinking of buying a car and planning buy a home or build a home at native. This is possible only I will vwich the another company so that I will get a salary growth nearly 1lakh per month. So please give me some suggestions to investments ideas and marketing and savings and finance planning to afford the needed things.
Ans: Good aspiration, Ganesh.

However, at present your salary and expenses are almost equal, and you are still carrying financial commitments. So this is not the right time to explore investments or market exposure aggressively.

The ?2 Lakhs you expect in July should first be used to clear pending obligations. Any balance amount can be parked in a Fixed Deposit and treated as your emergency fund.

Once your commitments reduce and you are able to generate monthly surplus, you may start SIPs even with a small amount. Discipline matters more than size initially.

After you switch to a new company and income improves, do ensure you take:

A personal Term Insurance plan

A Family Floater Health Insurance policy

These protections should precede wealth creation.

Step-by-step progression will keep your finances stable and stress-free.

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Naveenn Kummar  |247 Answers  |Ask -

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Sir, I have invested totally 4.83 L in SBI Contra regular fund through SIP since 2010 and the present corpus is 19.76L @ 16.49% XIRR. Now I want to redeem say 4L (1.25 L Capital gain + corresponding Principle investment) to take advantage of LTCG. If I re-invest the same amount immediately predicting the same NAV, is it affect on profit of the fund in future? Please suggest. With Thanks & Regards, S.Salvankar
Ans: Hello Mr. Salvankar,

You have built an excellent corpus over time. A 16%+ XIRR since 2010 reflects disciplined investing and strong fund performance.

Redeeming around ?4 Lakhs to realise ~?1.25L LTCG and utilise the annual tax exemption is a valid tax-harvesting strategy. If you reinvest the same amount immediately, even at a similar NAV, it will not affect your future wealth creation. Your market exposure remains the same, while your purchase cost resets higher, helping reduce future taxable gains.

Do ensure reinvestment is done promptly to avoid market movement gaps, though the long-term impact is minimal.

LTCG exemption applies only on gain, not withdrawal amount

Redemption must be calculated proportionately

Redeeming ?4L will overshoot tax-free limit

However, you may please consult your Chartered Accountant for specific tax implications and personalized advice before executing the transaction.

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Chief Financial Planner | AMFI Registered Mutal fund distributor , Certified Retirement Advisor
https://members.networkfp.com/member/naveenkumarreddy-vadula-chennai

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Naveenn Kummar  |247 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF, Insurance Expert - Answered on Feb 10, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 07, 2026Hindi
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Hi Sir, I am 55 years old women and want to start investing ₹45,000 per month through SIPs for the next 5 years. My aim is only capital growth and I am a moderate risk investor. I have not invested in any mutual funds yet. Please suggest: 1). How much should I invest in equity vs debt/hybrid funds 2). What type of mutual funds are suitable for my age and 5-year period 3). Whether investing in midcap/Flexicaps and Multicap funds is advisable for me I want a safe but growth-oriented investment approach. Thank you in advance for your valuable advise :)
Ans: Hello Madam,

Thank you for your query. Starting SIPs at 55 with clarity of purpose is a very sensible step.

Since your horizon is 5 years and risk profile is moderate, the focus should be growth with capital stability, not aggressive equity exposure.

Allocation guidance

Keep equity around 40–45% and the balance 55–60% in hybrid and debt funds. This helps participate in market upside while reducing volatility risk.

Out of ?45,000 SIP, you may broadly structure:

?18–20K in equity oriented funds

?25–27K in hybrid / debt funds

Suitable fund categories

Flexicap funds are appropriate as a core growth component.
Balanced Advantage or Dynamic Asset Allocation funds are ideal for automatic risk management.
Aggressive Hybrid funds add measured equity exposure.
Short duration or corporate bond funds provide stability.

Midcap / Multicap exposure

Flexicap is suitable.
Multicap selectively.
Pure midcap exposure should be minimal or avoided given the short tenure.

Return expectation

With this balanced approach, a realistic outcome over 5 years may be in the 8–10% range, offering growth without undue stress on capital.

In simple terms, your strategy should be balanced, diversified and stability-led rather than return-chasing.

Wishing you disciplined and confident investing ahead.please consult qualified mutual fund advisor on scheme and fund selection
Naveenn Kummar
Chief Financial Planner | AMFI Registered Mutal fund distributor , Certified Retirement Advisor
https://members.networkfp.com/member/naveenkumarreddy-vadula-chennai

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Naveenn Kummar  |247 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF, Insurance Expert - Answered on Feb 10, 2026

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Dear Sir, I'm 54-year-old and my sons are 23 and 21 years old. I would like to know, in SBI Life Policies / any other brand of Life Policies, Term Insurance and Health Insurance. At present, specifically what are the best beneficial wealth policies, Term Insurance and Health Insurance Vs PPF, Vs MF, vs. NPS v FD vs Trading in the Share Market including ETFs, as well as with Sudden Death Protection, which suits for me and my both son's age and all of three income sources, such as a salary of 6-8L /Annum. Pl. Elaborate on all these requests with PROS and CONS on each segment for three of us, including the retirement plan and policies/investments. Thanks, from Chennai (1st Feb 2026)
Ans: Dear Sir,

For your sons, the first priority should be a Term Insurance Plan. It provides immediate financial protection in case of any unforeseen event. Please avoid ULIPs, traditional or endowment policies at this stage. Their eligibility and cost structures are linked to income and long lock-ins, and returns are usually not efficient.

Since their age is very young, term insurance premiums will be much cheaper. You may opt for a policy term up to age 65 or 70. Avoid “Return of Premium” and limited-pay variants, as they increase cost without meaningful benefit.

Secondly, take Health Insurance early. A high base cover, even 1 crore or an unlimited restoration plan, will come at a very economical premium due to their age. This protects future savings from medical inflation.

Regarding investments, traditional avenues like PPF and Fixed Deposits provide safety but may not beat inflation over long periods. For retirement discipline, you may consider enrolling them in NPS and, if suitable, Atal Pension Yojana for additional pension layering.

Avoid active trading for now. Without experience, it can erode capital rather than build wealth.

Maintain at least six months of income as an emergency fund, parked in FDs or liquid mutual funds for quick access.

Parallelly, start SIPs in mutual funds to build long-term wealth systematically.

For a more customized allocation and goal planning approach, you may consult a qualified Mutual Fund Advisor who can structure investments based on income, risk profile and timelines.

Naveenn Kummar
Chief Financial Planner | AMFI Registered Mutal fund distributor , Certified Retirement Advisor
https://members.networkfp.com/member/naveenkumarreddy-vadula-chennai

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Anu Krishna  |1766 Answers  |Ask -

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Asked by Anonymous - Feb 02, 2026Hindi
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I'm male on the verge of completing 32 years ... Doing currently md from prestigious medical college and completed my mbbs from topmost medical institute in india... I'm into relationship for almost about 5 years when se was 20 and I was 27 ... I know there is a age gap of 7 years but we never felt that there is a age gap between us.. currently her age is 25 years ... We both loved each other ... Her parents is very conservative and from orthodox family .. i know that majority have those mindset and I can't blame it by saying derogatory words like narrow mindset and very cheap thinking even in my family some members have conservative mindset ... So when I don't call my family members by using derogatory then why I am to use cuss words about them also... Khair ... Baat yeh tha ma'am aapse ki mere andar hichkhichat bilkul nhi h lekin bs thoda sa nervousness feel ho rha ki apni baat ko kaise samne rkhe ... Hm toh khud yeh chahenge ji woh bhi samay le apna kyuki apni ghar ki Lakshmi apni jaan se bhi pyari ladki ko kisi ko saupne ki baat h .. lekin hm dono different caste se h ... We both belong to obc but having different communities or caste whatever you say ma'am .. ma'am aapse bs yahi puchna chahte h ki aap hme kya suggestion de skti h agar dena ho toh... Apni kabiliyat pe bharosa h unko hm smjha skte h apni financial stability bta ke apne chizo ko honestly aur transparently rkhte hue lekin phir bhi halka sa dar lgta h ki kai woh na maane toh... Dhanyawad aapka meri baato ko padhne aur smjhne ke liye..
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Financial stability ho toh bahut kuch aasaani se suljhaaya jaa sakta hai.
Apni mann ki baat apne parents aur ladki ke parents ke saamne rakhna; ab ya toh maan jaayenge ya toh bawaal mach sakta hai...
Par agar aapko lagta hai ki koi bhi samasya saame aaye toh aap aur ladki dono milke suljhaa paaoge, toh befikr hoke unhe sab bataa dena. Kuch dino tak shaayad naarza bhi rahein, kabhi na kabhi maan jaayenge yeh mere maanna hai...par kuch aisi communities hoti hain jahaan doosre caste mein koi baat nahin uthaate shaadi ka. Mere sujhaav phir yeh hoga ki aap jisse bahut kareeb ho ghar mein unse pehle baat karein taaki koi toh hohga aapke saath...uske baad poori family ko is baat ka khulaasa karein...ladke wale ladki aur uske pariwaar ke baare mein janna chahenge toh yeh baat acche se jaan lijiye...
Dekhiye aage hota hai kya!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11025 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 10, 2026

Money
Dear Ramalingam Sir.......I had invested in the NFO (in February 2021) of SBI Retirement Fund. After completion of five year locking period in February, 2026, the Units will now be available/free, for redemption. The investment was aimed for long term to built up a retirement portfolio for my two children who works in private without any pension provision in their employment. This fund has so far given moderate returns during last five years. Please suggest whether I should continue the investment in the same above SBI Retirement fund OR to have better investment returns I may redeem existing single portfolio in above SBI MF and re-invest the redemption value in different category of Mutual funds with obvious goal of a long term investment of over 20-25 years, for a Gift to my two childrens. Diversification in different MFs will also facilitate to avail yearly benefit of long term capital gain on redemption and then re-investment. Please also suggest names of MFs in different categories. With Regards.
Ans: » Understanding your current retirement fund holding
– You invested in a retirement-oriented mutual fund in February 2021 with a 5-year lock-in
– The fund follows a hybrid structure, combining equity and debt for balanced growth
– Returns over the first five years have been moderate, which is not unusual for this category
– With the lock-in now completed in February 2026, you have full flexibility to continue or restructure

» Rechecking the goal and time horizon
– The objective is long-term wealth creation of 20–25 years for your two children
– Since your children work in the private sector without pension benefits, growth becomes more important than short-term stability
– Over such a long period, portfolios with higher equity orientation generally have better wealth-building potential

» Continue with the same fund or switch – how to think about it
– Continuing in the same fund offers familiarity and avoids any transition effort
– However, retirement and hybrid funds are designed more for stability and discipline than for maximum long-term growth
– With a long horizon ahead, relying on a single hybrid fund may limit return potential
– This is a good stage to reassess structure rather than judge only past returns

» Why diversification now makes sense
– Holding the entire corpus in one fund increases fund-specific and strategy risk
– Diversifying across multiple mutual fund categories improves consistency over market cycles
– It also allows flexibility in partial redemptions and tax planning in future years

» Suggested mutual fund categories for 20–25 year horizon
– Instead of remaining in a single retirement fund, consider spreading across:

Flexi-cap oriented equity funds for long-term core growth

Large and mid-cap oriented funds for stability with growth

Select mid-cap oriented funds for higher long-term potential

One balanced or aggressive hybrid fund for risk control
– This combination helps balance growth, volatility, and discipline over decades

» About naming specific mutual funds
– Fund selection should be based on consistency of investment process, fund management stability, and portfolio quality
– Chasing recent top performers or NFO themes is not advisable for such long goals
– A Certified Financial Planner usually shortlists schemes based on suitability rather than popularity

» Tax planning perspective
– Equity-oriented mutual funds allow long-term capital gains benefit beyond the holding period
– Using diversification, you may plan staggered redemptions over different years to utilise the annual exemption limit effectively
– This improves post-tax outcomes over time without disturbing the long-term goal

» How to execute the transition smoothly
– Avoid redeeming and reinvesting in a hurry based on short-term market movements
– If you decide to exit the existing fund, a phased approach can reduce timing risk
– Continue long-term SIP discipline in the restructured portfolio

» Final Insights
– Your original investment decision was sensible for discipline and lock-in
– With the lock-in completed and a very long horizon ahead, restructuring into a diversified, growth-oriented mutual fund portfolio is worth considering
– The focus should now shift from product label to portfolio design
– A well-diversified mutual fund structure held with patience can meaningfully support your children’s retirement needs

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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