My parents don't listen to me or my brother. They are 67 and 74, both diabetic and suffering from high blood pressure and cholesterol. We have tried everything -- from explaining calmly, getting family friends to talk to them, showing them doctor videos on YouTube, and even accompanying them to medical checkups. But they refuse to take their medicines seriously or follow a proper diet. When we were young, we were so obedient and disciplined. It is hard to believe that our parents are behaving like rebellious teenagers. My brother and I have taken turns to look after them, take them for follow-ups but they get angry if we remind them, and say we’re treating them like children. How do we handle their stubborness?

Hi KomalBoth my parents are heart patients.My father, who is 80 years old, had heart surgery last year.My mother, who is 76, had angioplasty in January.They live with me.How can I best take care of them? Both are stubborn about the traditional oily cooking.Ravikant Bhimani

Hi Anu, I got married about 6 years ago. It was an arranged marriage. But it was I who went alone to see her. We got married after 10 months. All things are good between us. However my parents are very controlling. Initially they were not living with us. So there was not much of issues but since the birth my daughter they have made out life hell. My wife asked to visit her mother's place and my parents went nuts over this. They are very controlling. My elder sister who I think is emotional immature, initially supported us but things went south after she came to our home on Rakshabandhan last year. My wife wanted to go to her brother's house but my parents wanted his brother to come. Initially my sister didn't mind but my parents pressured her and she chicken out instead of supporting us. Now she is full on toxic and has convince herself that she is right. Since that incident my parents confidence has grown. My father started using abusive words with me but not in front of my wife. Soon they left us but they keep ob giving us mental torture. I always call them and then never tell me speak. They give bad wishes to us but sometimes says they never wish for us. Now they have started posting in family group and how the new generation is not respecting parents. They emotionally blackmailing me to get the things in their favour. I think they have my wife. They would have hated had it been some other women. From last one year I have built lots of tolerance. Earlier I used to get sleepless nights. But they keep on abusive me whenever they start this topic. I think this is quite a common problem. I need advice on how to handle typical manipulate, insecure and abusive Indian parents.

This pertains to my parents. I got married at the age of 30 about 18 years ago and have a dear and loving spouse who believed in contributing to our home and didn't wish to be a home maker. Since we were living in a joint family, my father wanted only us to spend for the full house without much/negligible contribution. My elder brother's spouse is from a well to do family and they started to live independently from the beginning of their marriage. In spite of running the total household expenses, we have from the beginning learnt to save and we planned many vacation trips, overseas and domestic alike. My mother could not and till date cannot appreciate the fact that only the 2 of us are holidaying and she wanted to be part of our holidays which we have vehemently denied as that was a me-time for both of us. She has held this sourness against us although this comes out in her discussion occasionally. In spite of living together and addressing all needs of my elderly parents, my mother is perpetually complaining about not doing enough. I have tried to leave home and separate out as 2-3 times the fight with her had gone out of bounds because of her behaving un-reasonably weird. At times she takes care of all of us and at times she speaks so bitter about me and my wife, it is had to understand if it was the same person. My father has been a quiet individual and he has no opinions on anyone and will not side with anyone, neither will he call out any wrongdoing & there is no point in talking to him as his only objective is to have a peaceful life and have 3 meals a day without caring about anyone else in the world. 9 years ago i was laid off and i was almost compelled to start a real estate business with my father, this work requires mental and physical dedication which i have put and established myself in a respectable stage. Since the beginning my father had wanted to only take the accounting bit of the business as his responsibility as he does not know anything else. He has not let me look at accounts ever and he kind of pays me a salary whatever he deems fit at the end of the month, he also retains a large chunk with him and pays mom to run the house from the business. Although he has no travel, not going out of home, and no friends, he still needs the money for which he has not described or spoken when asked, mom and i suspect he is funding another family at our expense but we are not sure, as he has maintained a secret life for his entire life. 6 months ago me and my wife purchased a home and shifted and even now his approach towards my family needs is nonchalant as he keeps the major pie of the business income regardless of not putting any effort or work. At one end there is my mother who has demands all the time, at the other end my father is almost stealing from me without any justification or clarification. Somehow both of us are living separate and managing a peaceful life with very little which remains after servicing all Emi's and plus we also manage to contribute little to my father in law for running his household. Both of us seem to be burned out as our close ones only think of us only when money is required. Sometimes i feel i should shut shop and do something else, i also upscaled myself by clearing MBA at the age of 45 during covid so that some employer may consider me worthy and in spite of applying to 450+ job openings no one considers my resume to be appropriate. My wife is employed in a senior managerial position with a mnc and both of us fear that in 10 years time we will have nothing left with us and no one to take care of ourselves. Its frustrating as there seems no path forward, can u suggest anything ?

Hey everyone, I came here to find a solution for my severe anger outburst. It is going to be a VERY lengthy one so please be with me. My parents are good people and like every other parent they have always wanted good for me. But whenever there is some problem, they tend to make personal attacks on me, especially things that make me severely insecure. So recently, I have lost my job. My parents impliedly misbehaved with me even before this. This is because I chose a course of my own choice, I selected a boy who has been with me through all my thick and thin and who respects my parents even more than his own family, still they question my choice just because the boy I selected is of dark skin and short in height. Losing my job was the last nail in the coffin. My parents have been misbehaving with me ever since then. I still did not say a word to them. They have their wedding anniversary today. While on our way back to home, I was upset because my sister had lost my ear phones the very day we started our journey to this trip. These earphones are expensive and were gifted to me by my boyfriend. My sister kept it casually and lost them. I still did not get angry about it and calmly stayed with my family throughout the trip. When we were getting in the car this morning, , my parents still showed no concern towards my problem and when I calmly tried to explain why it bothers me so much, they out of nowhere told me that "you lost your job because you're so non cooperative". I was appalled at their response. This really upset me and made me severely mad at them but still I had not more than app slight argument with them. Now when they stopped the car on the way to grab some morning tea, then also my mother said "Nobody liked you at your workolace and look at me everybody likes me at mine" . Not minding much, I started looking for my earphones and found it in some random corner of my seat. My family said many things after that but I kept mum. But I lost it after sometime and told them about how they never accept their mistake but it's always a problem when I do it. Just few days ago my sister misplaced my mother's earphones too and my mother ACTUALLY started crying sitting inside the restaurant but when she found her own earphones back, she casually said not more than a few lines to my sister and when I did it , it became an issue for them. The problem now begins. I could not take those personal attacks anymore. To be honest , my mother's marriage has not been happy. She has cried each day and has been upset on my father many times. I told them "why do you even want to celebrate your marriage when you have not been happy at all?' This is because she has been attacking my insecurities since morning and I could not take it. After that my mum burst out in anger and said such shameful things about me and my boyfriend. She literally started to abuse him. Now I was holding tea in my hand. Somehow my hand shook in anger and half the tea was spilled on my legs. In a fit of anger, I poured the remaining tea on my mother's side of the seat and also the tea cup. My family went nuts after this and even I was shocked to the core about what I did. So I seriously need your help or at least guide me in how I can overcome my anger issues because I seriously want to get out of it. I am tired of taking bad karma on my head. I really want to change.