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Kanchan Rai |656 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2026

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 09, 2026Hindi

My office friends Riya and Aman have been in a relationship for two years, but lately misunderstandings have increased because Aman feels ignored when plans are cancelled, while Riya feels stressed and unheard due to her work pressure. Instead of openly discussing their feelings, both remain silent, which creates emotional distance between them. In this situation, how can honest and respectful communication help them resolve their disagreement, and how can listening, patience, and understanding strengthen their relationship rather than weaken it?

Ans: Honest and respectful communication would help them because it brings hidden emotions into the open in a safe way. Right now, Aman feels unimportant when plans are cancelled, but he isn’t saying, “I miss you and I feel lonely when we don’t spend time together.” Instead, he stays quiet and likely feels rejected inside. Riya feels overwhelmed and unsupported, but she isn’t saying, “I’m under so much pressure and I need understanding, not disappointment.” So both are suffering silently and guessing each other’s intentions.
If they start speaking from their feelings rather than from blame, the tone of the relationship will change. For example, Aman can say, “When our plans change often, I feel disconnected from you,” instead of “You never make time for me.” Riya can say, “Work is draining me and sometimes I don’t have energy, but I still care about you,” instead of “You don’t understand my stress.” This kind of language opens hearts instead of creating defensiveness.
Listening is equally important. Many couples listen only to reply, not to understand. If Aman truly listens to Riya’s stress without interrupting or minimizing it, she will feel emotionally safe. If Riya listens to Aman’s need for time and reassurance without dismissing it, he will feel valued. Feeling heard is often more healing than any solution.
Patience matters because emotional habits don’t change overnight. They both need time to adjust to each other’s needs and rhythms. If one conversation doesn’t fix everything, that doesn’t mean it failed. It means they are learning how to connect better. Relationships grow stronger when partners stay patient during uncomfortable phases instead of withdrawing.
Understanding helps them see that neither is the enemy. Aman is not “needy,” he is seeking connection. Riya is not “careless,” she is overwhelmed. When they understand each other’s inner world, they stop taking things personally and start working as a team.
If they begin communicating honestly, listening with empathy, and responding with patience, their relationship will not weaken — it will deepen. Conflict handled with respect creates trust. Silence creates distance. Talking with care creates intimacy.

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Question by Anonymous - Sep 29, 2021Hindi

Dear Sir,I had a good friend at work but, due to the pandemic and some professional disagreements, we are not talking to each other as friends.We are still working together and talking there but it is very awkward.I feel we can be friends again.If not friends, we can have a professional cordial relationship.I am finding it difficult to work like this.I have been trying to talk, but the other person does not want to talk, let alone compromise.If we are in this organisation, we have to work together.At the moment, I cannot leave and neither can he.Please advise how to handle this situation.Thank you.Name withheld on request.

Ans:

Personal relationships do come in the way of our professional interactions, so it's important to have good personal relationships.

But, sometimes, if the other person does not respond, then it becomes a challenge.

You can have a candid discussion and try and resolve the issues. Else, you can approach your manager to intervene and help both of you to iron out the issues.

Talk to your friend about the good old days.

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