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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1805 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 21, 2026

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 18, 2026Hindi
Relationship

My mother-in-law is making my life miserable. She is a widow. Whenever my husband and I spend time together, she creates small issues or finds reasons to interrupt us. She will suddenly need help with something or start an argument. It's like we rarely get time as a couple at home. Because of this we are constantly fighting. Please help.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There's no point in talking to your mother-in-law as she is just filling her emotional void and insecurity by interfering in her life. Instead, find a circle of like-minded people for her; when she looks forward to meeting people her age and with similar interests, her mind will not be around you and your husband. But also make sure to spend time with her, taking care of her emotional needs. Things will change...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |663 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 30, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 30, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I have been married for one year. My mother in law has no respect in her talking towards me. She expects me to do all the household things and she doesn't want her daughter to do any kitchen works. Most of the time I feel like she made her son marry me just to do household things. I don't need any appreciation but I can't bear her disrespectful words. And her cunning character and lies. What can I do in such situations
Ans: Dealing with a challenging mother-in-law can be a delicate situation, but it's important to address these concerns to maintain a healthy relationship with your spouse and in-lawsStart by discussing your feelings with your spouse. Share your concerns about your mother-in-law's behavior and how it's affecting you. Ensure that you both are on the same page before addressing the issue with her. When you decide to talk to your mother-in-law, pick a calm and private setting. Avoid confrontations in the heat of the moment, and try to have a rational conversation. Clearly and calmly communicate how her words and actions make you feel. Use "I" statements to express your emotions without blaming her Make it clear what behavior is unacceptable and establish boundaries. Politely but firmly communicate what you are willing and unwilling to tolerate in terms of comments and expectations. If direct communication doesn't yield positive results, consider involving a neutral third party, a trusted family member, to mediate the conversation. Strengthen your relationship with your spouse and build a support system with friends and other family members. Having a strong network can provide emotional support during challenging times. Remember, it may take time to see changes, and it's essential to approach the situation with patience and understanding. Every family dynamic is unique, and finding the right balance may require ongoing effort and communication.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1805 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 13, 2024

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1805 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 12, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I have been married for 7 months. I stayed with my husband for 4 months. I have a decent relationship with him. But my mother in law doesn't like me at all. She finds faults and mistakes in everything that I do. I don't get any support from my husband when my mother in law criticises me or uses harsh words. She insults my parents. My husband tries to justify her behaviour when I try to discuss these issues with him. He misunderstands me and doesn't want to listen to me whenever his mother creates issues. He doesn't listen to anyone and he doesn't care about anyone apart from his mother when his mother creates problems. I work for 10 hours at office and take care of him and the household chores. He forgets all my positive sides and highlights my mistakes rudely whenever his mother comes into the picture. I don't find any solution to this. My last solution is filing for a divorce. I want to try to give my best for this relationship. But that is somehow taking a toll on my mental and physical health.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You have good respite from all of this while you are at office, right? And then there's the commute to work? Then there's sleep?
So, I guess your interactions with her maybe 2 hours?
For her, she's given up her son; many mothers find it hard cutting the cord from their children and in this case, your husband also has not learned to develop a personality off of her and hence putting him in between the two of you is only going to cause you more stress and invariably he will side with her; he's still getting used to another woman in his life, YOU...Don't test his love for you and compare it with his mother. It will drive him away from you.

Give this all sometime BUT DO NOT get him caught in the middle of all this. Teaching your mother-in-law to behave in a certain way maybe a huge task BUT for you to work around it without letting it bother you is what you must focus on. Possible? YES...Smart relationships are ones like these where you don't go around expecting change in the other person BUT you figure how you can work around and find your peace.
So, since you are going to be around her only for a few hours, start by simply agreeing to what she says. Initially it will be hard, but it will throw her off guard as when she sees that you are not provoked, there will come a time, when she will back off.
Her fault finding is only to prove that she is better than you and that you can't replace her in her son's life. Give her that pleasure by simply nodding your head knowing that it's not your fault. You will see a change in a few days.

The best way to bring people's guard down is to agree to what they say BUT do what you need to. It's just been a couple of months, give it sometime...things settle...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11201 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 12, 2026

Money
am 38 years old and planning to buy a high-rise apartment in Ghaziabad costing around ₹40 lakh. My current take-home salary is ₹88,000 per month. I can pay around 20% as a down payment and finance the remaining 80% through a home loan. However, after making the down payment, I will not have any emergency fund left for situations such as job loss, medical emergencies, or any other unexpected difficulties. My salary is the only source of income for paying the EMI. Therefore, I would like to know whether it would be better for me to buy the flat or invest in a 75–100 square yard plot costing around ₹15–25 lakh for future investment. Note- For the todays situation in india where inflation is increasing day by day should i buy or not?
Ans: Your concern is very practical. The biggest issue is not whether the apartment or plot gives better returns. The bigger issue is that buying the apartment will leave you with no emergency fund, while your salary is the only source for EMI payments.

» Looking at Your Financial Position

Age 38 gives you enough time to build wealth.
Monthly take-home salary of Rs.88,000 is decent.
The apartment cost of Rs.40 lakhs means you may need a home loan of around Rs.32 lakhs after the down payment.
The EMI would become a long-term commitment.
Most importantly, after the down payment, your emergency reserve becomes almost zero.

This is the point that deserves maximum attention.

» Why Emergency Fund Comes First

Job loss can happen unexpectedly.
Medical emergencies can arise without warning.
Family responsibilities may increase over time.
Home ownership also brings maintenance costs, registration expenses, interiors, and society charges.

If you exhaust all your savings for the down payment, even a small financial shock can create stress.

As a Certified Financial Planner, I generally prefer seeing at least 6 to 12 months of expenses and EMIs kept aside before taking a major loan.

» Should You Buy the Apartment Now?

If the flat is for self-occupation and you genuinely need a house for your family, buying can be considered.
However, I would not recommend proceeding if it leaves you with no emergency reserve.
A few years' delay is often better than entering home ownership with financial vulnerability.

Inflation is rising, but that alone should not force a purchase decision.

A financially strong buyer usually gets better peace of mind than a financially stretched buyer.

» What About Buying a Plot?

Since you specifically asked for a comparison, a plot generally requires lower capital commitment than the apartment you are considering.
It avoids a large EMI burden.
It allows you to preserve some liquidity.
However, plots do not generate regular income and can remain idle for long periods.

The decision should not be based purely on expected appreciation.

» Inflation and Today's Situation

Inflation is certainly increasing the cost of living.
But inflation also increases future salaries and earning potential for many professionals.
Taking a large loan without emergency reserves is a bigger risk than inflation itself.
Financial flexibility is valuable during uncertain economic periods.

» A More Balanced Approach

First build a strong emergency fund.
Ensure adequate health insurance coverage.
Keep some reserves for unforeseen expenses.
Then proceed with property purchase when the down payment does not wipe out your savings.
Avoid stretching yourself to the maximum loan eligibility offered by the bank.

» Final Insights

Based on the information provided, I would be cautious about purchasing the Rs.40 lakh apartment immediately because it leaves you without an emergency fund.
The lack of financial cushion is a bigger concern than inflation.
Strengthening your emergency reserve first can make the home purchase much safer.
Do not rush into a property decision simply because prices may rise in future.
A strong financial foundation should come before a large EMI commitment.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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