Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1788 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 06, 2026

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 31, 2026Hindi
Relationship

I have been married for 24 years, and ours was a love marriage. We have two sons who are now grown up, and for most of our married life, things were stable and peaceful between us. Over the years, like many couples, we got busy with responsibilities, work, children, and daily life. Slowly our emotional and physical connection started fading without us even realising it. For the past few years, especially after our children became independent, I have started feeling a sense of emptiness in our relationship. We live in the same house but hardly talk beyond basic daily conversations. There is no warmth, no affection, and we have not been physically close for a long time. Recently, when I tried to initiate closeness or even simple gestures like holding her hand, she seemed uncomfortable like I am some stranger. I was very hurt but I didn't react. I still care deeply for her and want to rebuild our bond. I don’t know if she has emotionally moved on, lost interest in the relationship, or if this is just a phase many long-term marriages go through. How can I win her back in my life?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Raising kids, family responsibilities and duties can somehow push the spark of marriage to a bare minimum and before you know it, the communication breakdown will make you believe that there the marriage is over. But it's far from over; in fact it's a wake-up call to RESET and plunge back into understanding why you married your wife and not just anybody else.
It's important to count on what you add to each other and value what you bring to the marriage. Once you neutralize it to a point where you are willing to put in the hard work necessary to reset the marriage, half your is done. Start with intimate (emotional) conversations and do things with one another. I always suggest date nights to bring back that fun and no-care in the world feeling, It can ignite a lot of passion back into the marriage. Start...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1788 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 12, 2021

Listen
Relationship
Dear Anu, I am a 44-year-old married man. My wife and I had a love marriage. But just after the birth of our second child we started developing some smaller differences and issues. Nothing really major. However my wife started staying away from me physically. The intimacy and love in the relationship reduced and eventually stopped. Along the way I tried to go close to her but she wasn't interested. I tried a lot but it didn't help. We even tried to go to the counselor but she wasn't quite interested so we stopped midway. Now eight years have passed since we have had any physical closeness. We live like roommates just looking after the kids. However now my wife is making attempts to come close to me but somehow I don't feel anything for her and I am not co-operating. I feel like I just want to go away from everyone and start living independently. What is your advice? We have two daughters.
Ans: Dear N, What went through your wife’s mind at the time of the birth of your second child is something that needs to be addressed.

Maybe the work of bringing up two children exhausted her or there was a hormonal disturbance that made her lose interest. But let bygones be bygones.

Now that she is trying to get closer, maybe you can also try to see what the two of you can do to rebuild the closeness.

Rather than jump straight to sex, create closeness step by step.

Spend quality time together, watch movies, engage in a hobby together, cook together…the fondness and affection outside the bedroom might help breaking the ice and you start to at least engage in an affectionate manner towards one another.

It is easy to walk out of a marriage but do remember what the reason to walk out will be?

After a few years, it might not been worth it at all…Why not at least give the above suggestions a try?

Engage as friends with no expectations from one another and let the purpose be a happy engagement just like the one we have with out friends.

You also have two daughters who definitely want to be in a loving family; so give this a chance and see if it works out. You have nothing to lose but everything to gain.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |719 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 15, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am 50 years old and got married 15 years ago. I am a very spontaneous sort of a guy and enjoy life, partying etc. I was also very active socially.My wife being the complete opposite put a stop to all that once we got married. She also does not display any affection and has no interest in physical intimacy. She is just concerned with her housework.We also have lot of differences in mental attitude & intellectual abilities. At no stage will we ever seperate, however, I am unhappy with her nature. She has lot of friends, however is always at daggers drawn with in her in laws. We had to stay separately for 6 months, and I tried looking for love else where, however after a couple of months, I realised, that I missed her. I am in a quandary. Despite requesting her to work on our relationship, I get no response. Please advise on how to proceed.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand you are in a tough spot. But it's nice to see that after all those years of differences, you still have genuine feelings for her. I strongly suggest considering marriage counseling. From your description of your marriage, it seems to be there have been issues from the very beginning of it. It's been too long and now those issues must've become deep-rooted. Seeing a professional can be a game-changer. They can guide you out of this slump more methodically and help you navigate the emotions you are feeling right now. It can also help you understand the reasons for your wife's disinterest and handle it better.

Best Wishes

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |719 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 26, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 16, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi I am married for 24 years. Our was a love cum arranged marriage. But within 3-4 months of our marriage we had to leave my father's house due some dispute between me and my father. We shifted to a rental home. We have two sons who are now grown up. Our family life was good. In the year 2019 I got a job in Kenya. I was working there on bachelor status. My family was staying back in mumbai and wife was also working. I visited my family very year for a month on holiday. In December 2024 I lost my job and came back to Mumbai. I was jobless for 6 months. Since July I have started working in a small firm for survival. Physically both of us are not active since 4 years. Now I feel like reconnecting with her physically and emotionally. But I feel like she is a changed person. She doesnt have any emotions for me. If I try to even touch her she gives me a scary look. Please tell me how to handle this situation. I want her back in my life.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I suggest trying to connect with her emotionally first. You have been away from her for the better part of your married life. It does take a toll on the partner who is left behind to take care of everything back home. I’ll say start small; buy her small but meaningful things when you are coming back from the office; maybe some snacks she likes. Take her for a movie date, or a dinner date; ask someone else to take care of the kids. Plan a vacation together. A lot of problems dissolve naturally when people reconnect emotionally. If it still doesn’t work, I would urge you to have an open conversation and genuinely ask her what is missing in the marriage so that you can work on it. A happy and healthy marriage requires constant effort. I am sure she is worth it.

Hope this helps

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |719 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 07, 2026

Relationship
Hello Dr, I am married for 24 years. Our was love cum arranged marriage. But within 3-4 months of our marriage we had leave my fathers house due some dispute between me and my father. We shifted to a rental home. We have 2 son who now grown up. Our family life was good. In the year 2019 I got a job in Kenya. I was working there on bachelors status. My family was staying back in mumbai and wife is also working. I visited my family very year for a month on holiday. In Dec'2024 I lost my job and came back to mumbai. I was jobless for 6 months. Since July I have started working in a small firm for survival. Physically We both are not active since 4 years. Now I feel like to reconnect with her physically and emotionally. But dont know she is a changed person. She doesnt have emotions for me. If I try to even touch her she gives me a scary look. Please tell me how should I handle this situation. I want her back in my life.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I suggest trying to connect with her emotionally first. You have been away from her for the better part of your married life. It does take a toll on the partner who is left behind to take care of everything back home. I’ll say start small; buy her small but meaningful things when you are coming back from the office; maybe some snacks she likes. Take her for a movie date, or a dinner date; ask someone else to take care of the kids. Plan a vacation together. A lot of problems dissolve naturally when people reconnect emotionally. If it still doesn’t work, I would urge you to have an open conversation and genuinely ask her what is missing in the marriage so that you can work on it. A happy and healthy marriage requires constant effort. I am sure she is worth it.

Hope this helps

..Read more

Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |11011 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 19, 2026

Career
Sir,My son got 144 in BITS and 86percentile in Jee, what will be the best availabilty/option for engineering institute for CS, Mechanical & Electrical
Ans: Rachna Madam, with a BITSAT score of 144, admission to the CSE, Electrical, or Mechanical branches at all three BITS campuses is effectively not possible. Recent official cutoffs have been much higher—for example, Hyderabad closed at CSE 284/319/270, EEE 251/262/239, and Mechanical 218/192/214 in 2023/2024/2025, respectively, with Goa and Pilani cutoffs even higher.

Through JoSAA, with an 86 percentile in JEE Main, admission to CSE in NITs/IIITs is generally unlikely, and getting Mechanical or Electrical in mainstream NITs is also difficult under the open category. Chances improve mainly with home-state quota, reserved categories, female-only seats, or in lower-demand GFTIs and self-financed institutes accepting JEE Main scores.

Please check JoSAA’s official opening and closing rank archives year-wise before filling choices. Your son can focus on mid-tier or newer NITs and IIITs and state-level colleges and should also consider 4-5 reputed private universities as backup options instead of relying solely on BITS or JoSAA. ALL the BEST for Your Son's Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |11011 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 18, 2026

Career
Sir, My son has appeared in Class X ICSE Exam and results are awaited. So far , he has been an average performer academically. I believe he is capable and he can do great if he puts in the hard work. His performance in subjects like History/Geography etc has always been better than in Maths/science. I personally never wanted to force him to choose any stream for higher studies. He also is not sure about it. While discussing I suggested him to go for Commerce or humanities stream and then for MBA from a reputed institution. However, he is more concerned about job opportunities and wanted to go for science. Hence, after a lot of discussion, we have got him admitted in Science stream in Delhi and also got him enrolled in Allen for JEE Coaching. We thought if he adapts well and gets going, then may be he can achieve good result. Otherwise, we may decide to change stream after Class XII. What is your opinion? Request for your suggestion please
Ans: Shyam Sir, I have thoroughly reviewed your son’s background. You haven’t mentioned whether he is continuing with the ISC board or has enrolled in the CBSE board with Allen-JEE coaching for this 11th/12th Grade. Firstly, I recommend a psychometric test for your son to gain a rough idea of the most suitable career options for him.

Secondly, job opportunities exist across domains, but to be competitive, your son must have passion and interest in his chosen field and continuously upgrade both technical and soft skills relevant to that domain.

Thirdly, besides understanding suitable career options through the psychometric test, ask him what types of problems he is interested in solving in the future.

Fourthly, since you mentioned his performance is better in History and Geography than in Science and Maths, Allen-JEE coaching would be suitable only if he is truly interested in Maths and Science. If not, his performance may fall short of expectations, leading to demotivation.

My suggestion is to consider enrolling him in the Arts/Humanities stream with a focus on Geography-centric subjects. Later, he can pursue civil services, media, law, or management studies. Reassess his progress after about a year (by December 2026), focusing on his interest, mental health, and realistic performance rather than perceived job security alone.

Before he completes 11th grade (by February 2026), you both can collectively decide and start preparing for entrance exams in law, media, or management (CUET, CLAT, IPMAT, NPAT, SET etc.) based on his interests and future plans. ALL the BEST for Your Son's Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x