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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 03, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 26, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi, I married 1 year ago my wife told me she was forced to do a marriage against her concern and she didn't want the marriage life and wanted to live as strangers, also she refused to take wife responsibilities at home i have waited trusting she would change but she never changed. She is alone daughter to her parents borned after 16 years to their parents and she used to live outside around 17 year for her studies. After marriage whenever her parents come she used to ignore me, also she work in private sector and not share even single rupee to home. However all house hold work i do being boy, also she is not at all interested in intercource as well. After marriage 2 week she stayed in PG stating that my close friend will go to native allow me to spend time with her reast all i will be with you like. I agreed. Later 6 Month she used to give reasons for intercource i got periods, rashes, not feeling good, tiered, no mood, etc this happen till 6 month. After this we had 4 times in 2 month with protection that too just for 1 or 2 min as she mentioned lot of pain, after that she started avoiding, since i was not fulfilled by sex desire i started making extra marital affairs in facebook and turned to whatsapp only text, one fine day she saw all msgs i did with extra marital affair and she took photos of that and went to PG without informing any one. Later both families elder sat and asked she used to show the msgs that i did with extra marital affairs and she wanted seperate now from me. Though i accepted the extra marital affairs only interms of msgs and since you not willing to do sex i choose this way i mentioned. But she dont like to come back now. Her father took 2 month of time that he will change her mind set but i dont think she can. As her mother is also not good women, suporting her daughter and making such big issues and she also not interested in this marriage itself.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Sometimes people are just not ready for marriage and here your wife certainly came along with a huge baggage of unresolved issues behind her.
Marriage requires both partners to be responsible not just towards one another but take an active interest in their roles. This calls for maturity from both partners here.
Now, this was never a possibility with your spouse as she felt the marriage was a forced one. That is enough to destroy any chances of the marriage falling in place. You are also in a soup now that she has found her 'proof' that gives her a ticket out of this marriage.
The question here is: Do you want this marriage? If YES, then you will have to start down the part of proving your innocence and what led to what and how and when...If NO, then since your spouse has found her ticket to freedom, the only thing you might have to do is clearly state and not explain anything as to how things went downhill right from the beginning. Her parents may believe you or not, but that's what your decision needs. They may try to malign you in the family, just stick to your version of what happened and move on.
So, you are at that point where you need to make a decision. What is it going to be?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 16, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 13, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I married 1year ago my wife told me she was forced to do a marriage against her concern and she didn't want the marriage life and wanted to live as strangers, also she refused to take wife responsibilities at home i have waited trusting she would change but within 3 months she had medical issues and went to her home for treatment. after informing all her activities now her father is threating me and my family, also making false allegations against me for all her problems. Now he is demanding to go separately from my parents to send her back. if not they will file case against me in the court and make me and my family suffer. Now she was not telling the truth with their parents about her mindset and acting according to their portents guidance that i am the reason for her medical issues and she was not interested in the marriage because i didn't take care of her well. she have depression and anxiety issues from childhood her mother refused to see her face when she was born, as 5th girl child as they expect atleast 1 boy kid she said this to a doctor. she faces refusal and ignorance in her family she said this too the doctor i dont know the truth behind it. she has chronic gastritis also she is under weight (35kgs still at 27years old) and cant increase weight even after trying for 5 years of medication. Doctor suggested for a therapy but she refused to come with because she already had therapy before which we don't know. . even though we lived in same house but she lived in separate room all the days she was with me. Now due to her inability to handle her father she is acting along with them like i was the one who refusing her. Her father even knows about all these matters to hide is fraud he is now threatening me like police case and court. I did nothing wrong in this except married her. what should i do now ?. And I lost hope that she would change here after.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There are many cases like yours where men are being trapped with false allegations.
First evaluate:
Do I want this marriage to continue?
If YES, I feel it's time your parents also step in to state your side of the story. It will be an uphill task to bring her back as she clearly had mentioned to you that she was forced into this marriage. Also, how do you plan on working out the home situation given that the condition is that you separate from your parents?

If NO, will you be able to prove all the allegations put on you are false? Hire a good lawyer, because you will surely need one. Tread carefully and make very calculated moves in terms of what you say (even if it's on a text message) as everything can be held against you. Your lawyer will advise you on this.

So, time to think what is the best option...lay all the cards on the table and play this very carefully...

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 21, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, I have been married from 15 yrs. I have a 9 yrs old son with me. In oct 21 my wife (age 38) started making REELS on insta of the facial acting. She got involved and told me that she is just doing for followers and like. People used to comment good and bad which i didnt like. She was trying to make young guy friends. In april 2022 she had an affair with a 22-year-old boy who was not even financial stable. I could she changes in her every day. In June 2022 I caught her and she confess that she did affair and also done physical relationship. I had unconditionally loved her all these years and didn’t wanted to let her go. Also, didn’t wanted to hurt my son by taking a divorce. That guy refused to keep my son and their relation broke, but my wife still loved him and missed him. Few months she was in depression and I took her upmost care and swallowed what she did. I just told her that please come back to our life as you were before but she was not getting back. There used to be few quarrels, she was just staying alone within herself and I never felt that love which she used to give me. Later in feb23 there was a marriage at her family and I agree to go with her so she may get that feel during our times and she promised me to enjoy the marriage and make love with me. But she was happy with her relative and didn’t even bother to make that love and affection with me. from that time, I used to get angry and fight with her. I went into depression. In May 2023 she was getting worst and one day fight increased and I asked her to leave my house which I wasn’t intentionally wanted to. She left and went missing 24 yrs and then called from her mom mobile who was in her village, since she didn’t come back home and from last two month, she has been asking me money for herself and says it’s her rights. She doesn’t bother for my son and just show that she loves him. She works and stay with woman from 6 months and I’m looking after my son all alone. I told her u can work but just come home and make things better for my son. Her conditions is to give money security (money) then only she will return. All my family says she is just behind money and doesn’t care what I and my son is going through. She is not guilt for what she did. 15 yrs of marriage has been ruin and now she has no shame at all. She talks rudely if i dont send her money and now I refused sending her. Please advice what do I do now.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You seem to have done a lot to try and get her back. What can you do if she doesn't want to acknowledge your efforts or appreciate what family life is! One would imagine that a child in the equation may bring about a change in heart but that doesn't seem to be the case here at this moment.
Your family members are right in their mind about the way that see your wife as they have been observing how this has impacted you and your son.
Either you wait for her to come to her senses OR simply learn to live life without her. If the outside world of social media is what seems to satisfy her, no matter what you do, she will be dissatisfied and unhappy. This only means that she has to learn and appreciate what she has with you and your son.
It is also possible that she has been disinterested in the marriage for a while now and has been seeking approval and validation from people on social media. Even if this is the case, being angry with you is understandable BUT what about her own child? What makes her not want to deal with that reality? If you need an answer to this, simply WAIT and WATCH without begging her to come back...That will give you an idea as to where her mind is and then decide on the future course...

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi , I am a professor mech engineer , after death of my wife and due to having 5 year girl baby I planned for 2 nd marriage as I live alone away from home town because my of job with my little baby . I accepted a widow having 2 child ,she was working in a govt job 250 km away , after ensuring and agreeing her possibility of transfer and job vacancy @govt office near my house and ensuring she agreed that she will come to live with me along with her 2 kids and my little baby as her trasfer was due in comming few months . We lived apart during her job at 250 km away.,while meeting on weekly offs 6 /7 time in 6 months , then she take 360 degree u turn and said she will not get job transfer to my place and get her trasfer in other dept. in same previous office. And started telling many reasons like she will loose her children's inheritance in her in-laws property ,she will loose promotion , kids Don't want trasfer , and said we will live apart forever . This was contradictory to earlier agreed things .and my my purpose to live in family with my baby not fulfilled , so after long ruckus ,I mutually got divorce from her , Then After divorce I decided to marry non working women having no child and don't expect child as I am @48 year old and tired of living alone and managing job ,girl , house chores . I married to a divorcee girl from Pune ,she was BA first year college drop out girl of 44 yr age after 6 months of long dating on week ends . During 6 months I tried to know her indepth but was don't used to talk much as I was trying to know her true nature, we visited many places ,movies . She seemed perfect as per my requirement of girl wanting no child , and she is house wife . after marriage she behave well for 1 st week ,then she started trouble to hate my baby ( became kaikai )on pety things , she want my baby to house chores at the cost of her important year of 10th std study . She don't liked me taking tution of girl , she didn't like if I help my girl any way . She don't like if I spent some money on my girl . She used to fight all night and don't let me sleep . Now she stated demanding that she want baby , though I was against and b4 marriage agreed to not have any more child due to old age ,cost ,and no personal time for self , then I agreed to have child but b4 that I got her and my fertility tested ,she had weak eggs and syst on her reproductive organs and doc warned to not go for pregnancy due to risk and probability of unhealthy baby birth , but she kept repeating That she want child we consulted 4 Drs. She used to fight and go to her mother's home for 2/4 months after living with me for 2/3 days only . Now she wants divorce , and asks me to keep my girl in hostel if I want her in my life . This Ramayan has left me baffled , What should I do ??? .....
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The reason to marry for you mainly has been companionship, a mother for your daughter...
And marriage is not a transaction BUT a meeting of minds...when there is no compatibility, there is no space for agreeing on the same things or wanting to make things work which is possibly what has happened with your 2nd and 3rd marriage.
If you want this marriage to work, there has to be an equal commitment by both of you, so, start by emotionally bonding first. Slowly build on this by making goals for the marriage and the future...your only goal can't be mother for your child...not all women are going to readily accept this and some may even falter along the way. Allow the lady and your daughter to bond together for sometime so they develop a unique relationship...
Understand that transactional relationships do not last; so, invest enough time in building trust in that companionship for it to become something meaningful

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |37 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Apr 16, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 05, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
hi iam 53 yhears old got married around 18 yearsw back to my wife she is no 39 years old good evening i got married and i have three kids elder is 18 years younger is 16 years and i have daughter of 10years old since my marriage there was always clash between me and my wife for small silly reasons it was going on but since 3 years the clash become very rash and she even gave complaint on me to lady police station she threated me and every night i come late that time i am taking drinks she started to quarrel even not allows me to have food she drive me wild and in my unconsious mind i oftenly i use to abuse her with bad words even my neighbours many time they came to resolve the problem now she is asking property which i have gained from my parents. and since one year she is treating me like stray dog and never allowes me to have sex routenly she sleep like a dead in my bed. she left my house taking my all kids since last 6 months i forced to live alone now by some how i manage to bring her to my house along with kids but she refused having sex with me and she neverhad sex with me since 7 months i have becom patient of depression i dont know what to do please help me in this regard thank you
Ans: Hello sir. I have read your message and I would first like to express my opinion that a partner is not always for sex. There are many other ways to take care of your partner. You could take your wife out for dinner, go out on a picnic, go with with her to her parents' house. But when we dont do all these things and just want sex from partner. That doesn't work. At this age she might be going through some hormonal changes also. I suggest you to start behaving nicely with your wife and start taking care of her. Slowly the things will improve between you too.
Take care !
Regards
Dr Upneet kaur
Reach me : https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8462 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 17, 2025

Money
Hello I am 51 years old with 14 years old Son and my spouse is not working. I am working with a Pvt Publishing company with salary 90000/ month but job is not stable. In my 28 years working , I couldn't saved much with other liabilities and circumstances . Now my son is in class 8 and I am still in rented house . I am afraid of coming future since I am not able to save anything. My overall monthly income exceeded to 80000 including my son's education, School fees , House Rent and other house hold expenses. Kindly suggest me how to save more and secure my future
Ans: You have shown great responsibility in raising your family on a single income.

At 51 years, your focus now should be financial security and your son's future.

Your son's education and your retirement both need careful planning from here.

Let us understand how to plan your future with limited income but strong commitment.

Your Current Financial Snapshot
You are 51 years old, with a 14-year-old son.

Your spouse is not working, so you are the only earner.

Your job is in the private sector and not stable.

Monthly income is around Rs. 90,000.

Monthly expenses are touching Rs. 80,000.

You are staying in a rented house.

You are unable to save due to high expenses.

Let us address each concern in a simple, practical way.

Step 1: Create a Small Monthly Surplus
Without surplus, saving is not possible.

First identify all your fixed expenses.

Note down your rent, fees, bills, groceries, transport etc.

Then write all variable or non-essential expenses.

These include outings, subscriptions, online shopping etc.

Keep these expenses under control.

Aim to reduce total monthly spending by Rs. 5,000.

If needed, shift to a slightly cheaper rented house.

This is not about sacrifice, it is about safety.

Step 2: Start a Basic Emergency Fund
Your job is not secure.

Emergency fund is your safety cover.

Save 3 to 6 months of household expenses.

This money must be separate and easy to access.

Keep it in a separate savings account or liquid fund.

Don’t touch this for regular spending.

Build this fund slowly over 6 to 12 months.

Even Rs. 3,000 a month is fine to start.

Step 3: Secure Your Family First
Life insurance is very important at this stage.

You must have a pure term plan.

It should cover at least 10 times your annual income.

If you already have expensive LIC or ULIP policies, stop them.

Surrender those plans and reinvest in mutual funds.

Your family must get protection if anything happens to you.

Do not depend on employer insurance alone.

Also take basic health insurance for you and family.

Step 4: Start Small but Regular Investments
Don’t wait for big savings to start investing.

Start SIP with even Rs. 2,000 per month.

Use actively managed mutual funds through a CFP.

Avoid direct funds, they give no guidance.

Regular plans through Certified Financial Planner give support and review.

Don't invest in index funds.

Index funds just follow the market, even when it crashes.

Actively managed funds adjust better in ups and downs.

Step 5: Focus on Retirement Planning
Retirement may come earlier due to job risk.

You must create your own pension system.

Start SIPs in long-term growth mutual funds.

Don’t wait till son's college is over.

You cannot borrow for retirement.

But you can borrow or get scholarships for education.

Secure your retirement with discipline.

Any salary increase should go into SIPs.

Step 6: Prepare for Son’s Education Wisely
Your son is in Class 8 now.

You have 4 years to plan his higher education.

Create a goal for his college needs.

Don't aim for high-expense private colleges if unaffordable.

Explore central universities, state quota, scholarships etc.

Education loan is a better option than using retirement money.

Guide your son on skill-based courses and cost-effective education.

Talk openly with him about money limitations.

Step 7: Review Your House Decision
At this stage, buying a house is not urgent.

Don’t take a big loan for a home now.

Focus should be on savings, not EMI.

Rent is temporary. Savings are permanent.

You may buy a house later when situation is better.

Don’t consider house as investment.

It locks money, gives low return and creates liability.

Step 8: Create an Annual Financial Calendar
Every month, set one small financial task.

Example: January – review expenses.

February – update term insurance.

March – increase SIP amount.

April – track son’s education cost.

May – recheck emergency fund.

Follow this rhythm each year.

This brings control and confidence.

Step 9: Upskill or Create Secondary Income
Try to learn new skills related to your publishing work.

See if you can do freelance editing or writing.

Try to earn small extra income from hobby or skill.

Even Rs. 3,000 to Rs. 5,000 extra helps monthly.

Encourage your spouse to try small work from home.

Every extra rupee saved or earned gives strength.

Step 10: Stay Away From Risky Options
Don’t invest in crypto or ponzi schemes.

Avoid chit funds and quick return ideas.

Never buy insurance plans with investment.

Focus only on safe and proven mutual fund SIPs.

Avoid direct funds, they mislead investors with no support.

Stick with regular funds guided by CFP.

You will get personal tracking and adjustment advice.

What You Must Not Do
Don’t feel late or regret the past.

Don’t stop children’s education for savings.

Don’t mix insurance and investments.

Don’t ignore retirement while saving for son.

Don’t depend on children for your old age.

Don’t compare your life with others.

What You Must Do Regularly
Track your monthly spending.

Save before you spend.

Review insurance and investment once a year.

Increase SIP every year.

Protect your health and peace of mind.

Finally
You have taken care of your family all these years.

That itself is a huge achievement.

From now, take one step at a time.

Cut small unnecessary spends.

Start saving even small amounts.

Secure your family with right insurance.

Begin SIPs in regular mutual funds through a Certified Financial Planner.

Don't fear the future.

Plan it, step by step, from today.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8462 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 17, 2025

Money
Do Bengaluru Real Estate reduce the cost of a house/apartments in future ? I'm really surprise to see that People are keep on buying/investing on houses even though their earnings are less. What's the miracles behind these situations? Is this due to AI ? is there any regulatory on these real estate communities ?
Ans: Your question is very important and timely.

Let us examine it from different angles in a simple and detailed way.

You asked:

Will Bangalore real estate prices fall in future?

Why are people still buying homes even with low income?

Is Artificial Intelligence (AI) causing this?

Are there any rules to control builders and developers?

Let us evaluate these step by step and provide you with a 360-degree view.

Real Estate Prices in Bangalore – Will They Fall in Future?
Real estate does not move like stocks or mutual funds.

Property price changes are slow and unpredictable.

In Bangalore, price fall is rare but price stagnation happens.

Builders usually hold prices even if demand drops.

They prefer giving discounts or free items, not price cuts.

Bangalore is a tech city. Demand comes from many IT hubs.

Migrants and job seekers keep entering the city.

This creates long-term demand in selected areas.

But oversupply can create flat price growth in some zones.

Far-off areas with fewer buyers may see some drop.

But centre areas or prime suburbs stay stable or go up.

Real estate in Bangalore is influenced by job market and IT sector.

AI may change jobs, but not immediately reduce housing need.

Will Bangalore Prices Go Down Due to AI?
AI may reduce some jobs in the long term.

But new tech also creates new jobs.

People will still migrate to Bangalore for jobs.

Housing demand continues if employment exists.

AI doesn’t directly reduce house prices.

Cost of land and materials remains same or increases.

Builders won’t reduce price due to AI speculation.

So no, AI is not pushing prices down.

AI adoption may reduce certain roles, but housing need stays.

Why Are People Still Buying Houses Even with Low Incomes?
Some people buy from peer pressure.

Others buy due to social or family expectations.

Many believe rent is a waste of money.

Some buyers assume real estate will double in few years.

Some fear future prices may go higher.

Some people get help from parents or inherit money.

Builders also give many offers and small EMIs.

People don’t always calculate full cost of ownership.

Many ignore loan interest, taxes, maintenance, etc.

Some buyers use home loan EMIs to reduce tax outflow.

All these reasons create emotional decisions, not rational ones.

Are These Decisions Wise for Everyone?
Not really.

Without cash flow stability, buying a house creates risk.

Some people stretch beyond safe EMI levels.

They skip protection like insurance or emergency fund.

Job loss, medical emergency, or loan hike can cause problems.

It is risky to buy only for tax benefit.

Without proper planning, house buying leads to debt trap.

Is There Any Regulation on Real Estate Developers?
Yes.

There is a law called RERA – Real Estate Regulation Act.

It aims to protect buyers from builder fraud.

Builders must register projects under RERA.

They must declare timelines, approvals and costs.

Delay in possession can lead to penalty.

But enforcement is still weak in some cases.

Some small builders skip RERA or delay registration.

Buyers must verify RERA number and approvals.

Property papers must be verified by legal expert.

RERA helps, but buyer must still be alert.

What Should You Do Before Buying Any House?
First check your job security.

Next check your income stability.

Keep 3–6 months emergency fund ready.

Ensure no other major loans running.

Home loan EMI must not exceed 35% of income.

Add future expenses also like school or medical cost.

Don’t buy just because others are buying.

Buying without planning causes stress.

Buying House is Emotional – Make It Financially Smart
Everyone wants to own their own home.

It gives security and pride.

But emotional decision must match financial reality.

Your house should not create money problems.

It must not kill your savings or investments.

If you can’t afford now, wait.

Rushing into house buying leads to regret.

Why Real Estate is Not an Investment Option
Real estate has poor liquidity.

You cannot sell it quickly in need.

Cost of holding is very high.

You pay maintenance, tax, loan interest.

There is no regular income unless rented.

Rental income is only 2–3% of cost.

Real estate also has legal and paperwork risks.

Good areas are costly and low margin.

Average or low areas have risk of non-appreciation.

Mutual funds and SIPs are better for wealth building.

What Happens if Job Market Weakens in Bangalore?
Real estate may become unsold or under-occupied.

Builders may reduce new launches.

Resale flats may flood the market.

Rental rates may soften.

But prime areas still stay in demand.

So choose location wisely, not just price.

Steps Before Buying Any Property
Check RERA registration of project.

Ask builder for all documents.

Compare prices in nearby projects.

Don’t believe only advertisements.

Visit actual site during working hours.

Talk to residents if resale property.

Check age of construction and resale history.

If You Still Wish to Buy – Do This
Don’t use all your savings for down payment.

Keep some cash for emergency.

Take property loan only after financial health check.

Consult Certified Financial Planner for proper budgeting.

Plan your insurance, cash flow and future savings.

Don’t Delay Mutual Fund Investing
Many people delay investing due to property buying.

But investment must run in parallel.

Mutual funds grow money faster than property.

SIPs create discipline and wealth.

Avoid direct funds.

Direct funds give no guidance or support.

Regular plans via MFD and CFP are better.

You get long-term hand-holding.

Also, active funds outperform index funds.

Index funds don’t manage downside.

They copy the market, including all losses.

In tough times, actively managed funds adjust better.

You get better return and less stress.

Final Insights
Bangalore real estate is unlikely to crash.

But price appreciation is not guaranteed.

Don’t buy emotionally or blindly follow others.

Every house buyer must check cash flow first.

Don’t compare your decision with neighbours.

Most people stretch loans without future planning.

Artificial Intelligence is not the main reason.

It’s lifestyle pressure and FOMO – fear of missing out.

RERA provides regulation, but buyer must stay cautious.

Never invest fully in property, keep diversification.

Mutual funds with CFP guidance create real wealth.

Property is shelter. It is not an investment.

Take your time. Think in all directions.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8462 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 17, 2025
Money
Have EPF Amount of 14 Lakhs. Is withdrawing a good Idea for clearing of my current loan amount of 18 Lakhs (Land Loan (13.5L) + Vechicle Loan(3.5)) approx. and Zero Cash in Hand and looking for a house to buy. Buying a 2nd Hand House is good or should go for 1st Hand House in Bangalore?
Ans: Let us assess your situation in a complete and structured way.

You have:

EPF of Rs. 14 Lakhs

Loan of Rs. 18 Lakhs (Land Loan Rs. 13.5L + Vehicle Loan Rs. 3.5L)

Zero cash in hand

Planning to buy a house in Bangalore

Let us review this in multiple aspects to give you a 360-degree perspective.

Understanding the Role of EPF
EPF is your retirement backup.

It grows with compounding over long term.

Interest earned is tax-free.

Withdrawals reduce your retirement strength.

Once you withdraw, building back is tough.

You lose long-term compounding power.

Use EPF only when there is a real need.

It is not ideal to treat EPF like an emergency fund.

It gives security when regular income stops.

Analysing Your Current Debt Position
Your total loan is Rs. 18 Lakhs.

Land loan of Rs. 13.5L is not tax-benefit eligible.

Vehicle loan of Rs. 3.5L is high interest and no tax benefit.

Carrying both loans with zero savings is risky.

Loan EMIs strain your monthly cash flow.

Risk increases if job or health issues arise.

Emergency fund is totally missing.

Clearing loan can give mental and financial peace.

Should You Use EPF for Loan Closure?
Withdrawing EPF reduces future security.

But having high debt and no cash is worse.

Compare risk of debt stress vs. EPF withdrawal loss.

If interest rate on loans is high, paying them off helps.

But EPF is not enough to clear Rs. 18 Lakhs fully.

You will still have a Rs. 4 Lakhs gap after withdrawal.

That again pushes you into zero buffer stage.

Instead, partial payment of high-cost loan is better.

What is the Better Loan to Close First?
Vehicle loan is not productive.

It depreciates and has no future value.

Clearing vehicle loan first is a smart step.

Land loan stays as asset, though not income-generating.

Use part of EPF to pay off vehicle loan.

The EMI of vehicle loan can then be saved monthly.

Create emergency buffer from that saving.

Importance of Cash Buffer
Zero cash is dangerous in personal finance.

Even Rs. 50,000 – 1 Lakh emergency fund helps.

It protects you from taking credit card or personal loan.

After using EPF, you again become zero in cash.

So don't use entire EPF to clear full loan.

Use some EPF, some cash flow discipline to reduce EMI burden.

Your Plan to Buy a House – Assessment
You already have land.

Now planning to buy a second-hand or new house.

Let us compare both options carefully.

Buying a Second-Hand House – Things to Know
Lower cost than new homes in same location.

Faster availability for possession.

Less GST or zero GST cost impact.

Old construction may need repair, repainting.

Legal verification is very important.

Check if property papers are clean.

Check for water, drainage, occupancy clearance.

Confirm no pending dues or litigations.

Location may be central or premium in some cases.

Buying a First-Hand House – Things to Consider
High cost due to premium and GST.

Builder reputation matters a lot.

Construction delays are common in new flats.

Possession may take 2–3 years.

Some builders overpromise and underdeliver.

New house means new fittings, less maintenance.

May come with warranty period.

Which is Better? First-Hand or Second-Hand?
If location and documents are clear, second-hand home is better.

You save GST and possession is quick.

Prices are more negotiable with second-hand homes.

Buying from builder has higher tax and premium.

Check age of house. Not more than 10–12 years is better.

Ensure society is well-maintained.

Budgeting Before You Buy the House
You already have Rs. 18 Lakhs loan.

Don't stretch loan again without repaying current one.

Buying house before clearing debt creates risk.

EMI-to-income ratio must be below 40%.

Home loan EMI with current loan EMI becomes too much.

Use current land loan equity before buying house.

Sell or part-mortgage land only if papers are clean.

Property Buying Tips in Bangalore
Check if the area has metro, school, hospital access.

Avoid outskirts if you plan to stay soon.

Compare price per sq.ft. with similar areas.

Visit in day and night to judge locality.

Prefer ready-to-move homes with proper documents.

Emotional vs Financial Decision
Buying house is emotional, but must be rational.

Don't buy house just to ‘own something’.

First make cash flow and debt stable.

Keep at least 3–6 months of expenses in cash.

Only then plan big commitments like home.

Do You Have Health Insurance?
Loans are risky without health protection.

Any health issue can derail finances.

Ensure you and dependents are covered.

Don’t skip term life insurance either.

Mutual Fund Planning – Once Loans are Controlled
After clearing high-cost loan, begin investing.

Start SIPs even if it is Rs. 2,000 per month.

Avoid direct mutual funds.

Direct funds have no support, no goal tracking.

Mistakes in fund selection cost more than savings.

Invest through Certified Financial Planner and MFD.

Regular plans give expert rebalancing.

You get behavioural support in market corrections.

Also get fund changes done as per performance.

Avoid Index Funds in Your Case
Index funds don’t beat market returns.

They carry full downside during fall.

No downside protection or fund manager control.

Actively managed funds adapt better in volatility.

You need good alpha for wealth building.

Protect Your Financial Future
EPF is long-term. Use with caution.

Make a step-by-step roadmap for loan clearing.

Track your monthly surplus and control expenses.

Once you are cash positive, plan house.

Never mix emotional wish with current affordability.

Build wealth gradually, not urgently.

Seek support from Certified Financial Planner always.

Finally
Do not use full EPF for loan.

Use part of it to reduce pressure.

Keep emergency fund aside.

Clear vehicle loan first to reduce risk.

Delay home purchase till loans are under control.

Second-hand home is a good option if papers are clean.

Maintain 360-degree view of finances.

Don’t rush. Stay disciplined.

Keep savings, debt and protection balanced.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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