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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |730 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 25, 2026

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Chandni Question by Chandni on May 20, 2026Hindi
Relationship

Sir/Ma’am, I am 19 years old and currently in a relationship, but things between us are not going well. We fight very often, sometimes even over very small matters. I feel that maybe both of us had too many expectations from each other, and we both have a lot of ego and anger. The person I am dating has significant anger issues. I try to stay calm and handle things from my side, but after a point, it becomes difficult for me too. Sometimes, during arguments, he gets very angry and even uses abusive language, which hurts me a lot. Recently, we had another serious fight, and our conversations often reach the point of breaking up. Lately, the relationship feels very toxic to me, and sometimes I feel like giving up and ending everything because it has become emotionally exhausting. I am feeling very confused and would really appreciate some guidance on what I should do.

Ans: Dear Chandni,
I understand that you are going through a tough time. I get that you want to save the relationship because you have worked so hard to build it from scratch, but with this much conflicts right now itself, especially with a partner who has anger issues, the chances of maintaining a healthy relationship is very slim, unless both of you decide to change things drastically. You are both very young. These are the best years of your life. It's not the time to be spent in sadness and so much burden. If a relationship makes you so emotionally exhausted, is it worth pursuing? Even if you love each other, peace and respect is very important. You are too young to understand that. I would suggest rethinking this relationship.

Best Wishes.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1805 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 19, 2022

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Ma'am, I'm in a relationship for three years now. Everything was normal in the beginning. But the past year has been extremely tumultuous for us as I've been expressing unnecessary anger towards my significant other.I never used to yell at him or push him to the point where he'd get annoyed of me and stops talking to me. While I'm the kind of person who likes to talk things out after a few hours of the argument but he's the opposite. He takes his own sweet time which is not wrong. I realise I treat him differently from my friends as I know subconsciously he won't break up with me. The last fight we had over something trivial made me feel like I pulled the last straw and I'm very guilty about it. Even I've started to realise now that somewhere along the way I took him for granted and kept hurting him as he gave me a lot of chances to improve. He is a very sweet person but I feel like I've turned him into an egoistic monster who doesn't want to see or talk to me anymore. I don't know how to save this relationship. I don't know if I should kill my hopes of continuing this relationship. We haven't spoken to each other for more than 2 weeks now and I am using this time to change myself and learn to control my anger and to speak with everyone with respect and understand them better. I want to tell him that I'm genuinely improving this time but he doesn't seem interested in listening to me as I've misused the prior chances so obviously he feels like he's being deceived this time to. So I made my mind to speak to him after a month until I feel like I've changed at least a little so I'm worthy of his love. Also I don't let my short temper and rudeness affect our relationship. But I'm afraid he might hate me even more for not trying to talk to him. I'm confused wondering if he'll move on and not realise in trying to change. What should I do?AM
Ans:

Dear AM,

Oh my dear, why are you being so unkind to yourself? It takes two to tango!

Maybe, you realize that you have been taking him for granted, but hey, there’s an expiry date to punishing yourself over it.

Once you know, it’s time to work on your relationship and that certainly doesn’t mean being harsh.

This could also lead you to feel victimised and not be a very favourable mindset. Instead, what if you get to the root of the challenge at hand?

Here’s a few reality check questions. It might give you a chance to go back to the drawing board and reevaluate your relationship with a fresh pair of eyes.

What is causing me to have that temper?

What usually triggers the arguments?

What did I see in my partner when I chose him to be my significant half?

Do I still see the same in him even now or has it changed? If yes, what has changed? Am I willing to adapt to the change?

What causes me to be afraid of him moving on? Am I in a co-dependent relationship?

What will happen to me if he moves on?

Why is important for me to put so much energy into changing myself? Is it for myself or to keep him from moving on?

You get the drift?

You can add to these questions and give your mind an alternate way of processing things into a solution space.

Having said this; it’s time to give yourself some love too, no matter what, prioritize yourself and create some mind space to reevaluate where you are to where you want to be.

Happy 2022 and best wishes!

..Read more

Love Guru

Love Guru   |217 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 30, 2021

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Relationship
Hi. I am in a relationship since five years. My BF was very gentle and caring initially but after his financial downfall he became cold and restless. And I had to change cities due to work. I love him and he tells me he loves me too, which I feel he does. But he is very ambitious and struggling in his life and is busy planning most days. Which I understand, but it irritates me that we have zero conversations that he starts or takes interest in. We do discuss decisions and official things a lot, but I am talking about meaningful conversations and couple time. It’s been several years now and I have to wait for ages to discuss any simple, emotional thing with him. He is constantly on an unending chase. He lives in another city. I understand and wanna support him but it upsets me anyway because it’s been such long time of chasing simple conversations. I feel like I can’t hold on to the relation anymore because I tried to discuss this hundreds of time with him but he could never make time to even let me complete. In fact, he promises me time and conveniently forgets while I wait eagerly. He is always sleepy or tired by the time I begin anything and then it’s impossible for me to begin, which I feel is disgusting. We have started having ugly fights and I can’t resist being angry at things now. Now he has started acting rude and inconsiderate towards me. Though he is not mean to me, he always calls me impatient and kiddish to not understand his situation. He often tells me that he is not spending his time partying. He is making plans for both of us. He just has one answer that I should trust him and give him some time he will set everything. But I feel overly sensitive and depressed and in continuous chase which is very derogatory and bothers my self-worth. I always am ready for him in every way but here I am feeling choked and he is just not getting it. What should I do? How do I tell him that it is high time? Or am I overreacting? Please help. A person in need
Ans:

The problem you’re facing is very common in long-distance relationships.

You have a need for attention that you’re not getting from him and he’s so busy planning a future that he’s forgotten how to take care of the present.

I can tell you that until he is secure in a job and has stabilised his situation, his behaviour is not going to change significantly. And maybe not after either...Maybe this is who he is, and after the initial spark wore off, this is him.

That said, the distance is definitely playing a role in fuelling tensions between the two of you.

Explain to him that you need some quality time with him and that couples who live apart do set aside a little time for each other despite all the pressures of everyday life.

It’s not childish to expect attention and love from your partner, even from a thousand miles away.

At your end, you can try to be less demanding.

Maybe he isn’t at liberty to chitchat every single day or every couple of days also.

As long as you get what you want out of even a weekly or twice-weekly conversation with him, cut him a little slack. That is, provided this guy means enough to you.

If he doesn’t and you’re second-guessing the relationship, the person he is and your love for him, maybe the headache just isn’t worth it.

You’ve already invested five years, and if it’s not looking bright, you should cut your losses and move on.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1805 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 08, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am a female 34 married to a 39 Male. I have a 4 year old daughter. Since the very beginning, i spent my savings for household expenses. I had expected him to spend money after my daughter's birth. Most of his income goes towards payment of EMI of 2 houses. I asked him to stop one emi so that we can live properly. He told me that he would always block money in some or the other investment and reduce his disposable income. So I changed my career path to a more lucrative one. I am currently studying to get employedvin such career. Its taking time as inspite of full time maid, i had to take care of her without his support but unnecessary criticism. I have made my own support system, take care of my daughter financially and even take care of her outings. When he is home he takes care of her but he is not consistent . Rather he will pick fights about how i am not a good mother. He has these anger issues where once he is angry he starts shouting, criticizing and sometimes swearing. I learnt to not listen to his words when angry but my daughter heard it twice. After every such fight he would apologize and placate me. But overtime i lost all love for him. He gets triggered by little things like a simple basket and then blow it up. Recently he came drunk and hit me. I asked him to stop and he slapped me twice and then stood near my bed taking about his feelings for 2 hours. The entire incident terrified me and i went back to my parents. I have asked him time and again to get therapy for his anger. I can't let my daughter grow in such environment. I am currently planning to live near my parents and live as a single mother. I am currently preparing for job interviews and the forthcoming exams. I keep hearing that if i am patient he will change. That he will suffer without his daughter. But he is not even considering therapy. Also he can visit her anytime. We live some 12 hours from his location but he can just come over weekends if he wants to. I am financially comfortable now and thus taking few months to set my career. Please advise if my plans are appropriate. I am
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It may seem cruel, but by actually maintaining some space between you and your husband, it is possible that he starts to mend his ways.
Use this time away from him to set your career and financial independence.
Whenever your husband comes over, make sure you set a boundary that tells him that he needs to change if he wishes to get back into the marriage.
He may not be willing to go into therapy, but he will need to as the root cause of his anger and self-esteem issues that are aggravating the situation will need to be sorted out. Also, a few sessions with both of you together will help you understand what exactly is going on in his mind and then you two can start working as a unit.
Be patient and use this time away wisely; ultimately you will have to take a call on when to do and what to do based on how things move around...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |730 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 31, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 31, 2024
Relationship
I’m feeling really lost right now. I’ve been with my boyfriend for about a year, and things started out great. We have a lot in common, and we both enjoy going out with friends. But recently, I've noticed something that’s been bothering me. He works as a bartender, and every time I go to his bar, he gets upset about my friends being there. It feels like he’s trying to push me away from them, and I don’t know how to deal with it. Last weekend, we went out, and after a few drinks, I mentioned how uncomfortable it made me that he talked badly about my friends when they come to his bar. I thought I was being calm about it, but he just flipped out. He started yelling at me in the car, and I was so scared because he was driving way too fast and swerving. I told him I was going to call the cops, but he didn’t listen. Eventually, he pulled over, got out of the car, and started screaming and running around. It all felt so intense and out of control. When he came back to the car, things got physical. I slapped him in an attempt to make him stop, which I regret because I’ve never done that before. In the heat of the moment, he slapped me back and pushed me into a bush. The next day, I had bruises, and I just couldn’t stop thinking about everything that happened. Now, he’s been trying to buy me things and even booked a trip for us, begging me to stay. But I feel so unsure of what to do. I keep telling him that I need space, but it feels like he’s not really understanding the severity of what happened. I’m torn between wanting to make it work and realizing that this situation isn’t healthy. What should I do? Should I give him another chance or listen to my instincts and walk away for good?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First of all, physical violence is never the answer to any problem. I think you already know that. Coming to your main query, I think you should take the chain of events that followed after you confronted him very seriously. It's not healthy to slap and be slapped back and pushed into a bush. I am sure he regrets it just like you, but it can become a pattern. I would strongly urge you to rethink this relationship. If you are keen on keeping it going, I recommend either having an open discussion about what happened to make sure it is never repeated, or even better, consulting a therapist to work through the issues. You can have concerns and queries as to why he doesn't like it when your friends are around- that does not warrant such a harsh reaction.

I hope this helps.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11200 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 12, 2026

Money
am 38 years old and planning to buy a high-rise apartment in Ghaziabad costing around ₹40 lakh. My current take-home salary is ₹88,000 per month. I can pay around 20% as a down payment and finance the remaining 80% through a home loan. However, after making the down payment, I will not have any emergency fund left for situations such as job loss, medical emergencies, or any other unexpected difficulties. My salary is the only source of income for paying the EMI. Therefore, I would like to know whether it would be better for me to buy the flat or invest in a 75–100 square yard plot costing around ₹15–25 lakh for future investment. Note- For the todays situation in india where inflation is increasing day by day should i buy or not?
Ans: Your concern is very practical. The biggest issue is not whether the apartment or plot gives better returns. The bigger issue is that buying the apartment will leave you with no emergency fund, while your salary is the only source for EMI payments.

» Looking at Your Financial Position

Age 38 gives you enough time to build wealth.
Monthly take-home salary of Rs.88,000 is decent.
The apartment cost of Rs.40 lakhs means you may need a home loan of around Rs.32 lakhs after the down payment.
The EMI would become a long-term commitment.
Most importantly, after the down payment, your emergency reserve becomes almost zero.

This is the point that deserves maximum attention.

» Why Emergency Fund Comes First

Job loss can happen unexpectedly.
Medical emergencies can arise without warning.
Family responsibilities may increase over time.
Home ownership also brings maintenance costs, registration expenses, interiors, and society charges.

If you exhaust all your savings for the down payment, even a small financial shock can create stress.

As a Certified Financial Planner, I generally prefer seeing at least 6 to 12 months of expenses and EMIs kept aside before taking a major loan.

» Should You Buy the Apartment Now?

If the flat is for self-occupation and you genuinely need a house for your family, buying can be considered.
However, I would not recommend proceeding if it leaves you with no emergency reserve.
A few years' delay is often better than entering home ownership with financial vulnerability.

Inflation is rising, but that alone should not force a purchase decision.

A financially strong buyer usually gets better peace of mind than a financially stretched buyer.

» What About Buying a Plot?

Since you specifically asked for a comparison, a plot generally requires lower capital commitment than the apartment you are considering.
It avoids a large EMI burden.
It allows you to preserve some liquidity.
However, plots do not generate regular income and can remain idle for long periods.

The decision should not be based purely on expected appreciation.

» Inflation and Today's Situation

Inflation is certainly increasing the cost of living.
But inflation also increases future salaries and earning potential for many professionals.
Taking a large loan without emergency reserves is a bigger risk than inflation itself.
Financial flexibility is valuable during uncertain economic periods.

» A More Balanced Approach

First build a strong emergency fund.
Ensure adequate health insurance coverage.
Keep some reserves for unforeseen expenses.
Then proceed with property purchase when the down payment does not wipe out your savings.
Avoid stretching yourself to the maximum loan eligibility offered by the bank.

» Final Insights

Based on the information provided, I would be cautious about purchasing the Rs.40 lakh apartment immediately because it leaves you without an emergency fund.
The lack of financial cushion is a bigger concern than inflation.
Strengthening your emergency reserve first can make the home purchase much safer.
Do not rush into a property decision simply because prices may rise in future.
A strong financial foundation should come before a large EMI commitment.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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