Hi, I love both my parents and my boyfriend. But my parents just cant seem to accept the fact that i have a boyfriend. At almost every stage in life, be it career, relationships, i am standing at the line and choosing whether i should choose myself and do what i want to do or should i choose what my parents say. I know they mean well for me and they want my good, but is it always have to be that way? Why do i always have to choose? I am sick and tired of hiding things from my parents but if i don't, they will intrude in my life and then everything goes haywire. is it too much too ask for acceptance? and even if i choose myself at any given time, there is this guilt of disobeying my parents that eats me alive. I am really at the threshold here.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
No where have you mentioned what your boyfriend does for a living? Could this be the reason that your parents refuse to acknowledge your relationship?
Parents want the best for their children but at times their own beliefs on love marriages etc can come in the way. Since you are an adult, it is time to actually start acting like one. My suggestion is to have a conversation with them and understand the reason for their refusal to accept your boyfriend. If it is one of society and family objection, then you know how to handle it BUT if their concern is more about his character or his job, you both need to make an effort to take away that concern so that they accept all this wholeheartedly.
Find the reason and things will become clearer as to how you must handle the situation.

All the best!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand how challenging it is to let go of a long-term relationship because your parents are not agreeing to it. If we look at this situation from your partner's perspective, his feelings are valid. But, you choosing your parents over him can also not be challenged. After all, it's your life. The decision should be ultimately yours.

Your feelings matter too. You mentioned your unwillingness to continue the relationship. This is important because your happiness matters and it should come first to you. If you have started feeling that you have outgrown the relationship, it is okay to walk away. I know it hurts, both of you, but sometimes, it's better to leave than force yourself to stay together in a relationship that has no future.

Your partner feeling sad is natural and so is your guilt feeling. But that does not mean you must stay in this relationship. Ending a relationship that you are not fully committed to is much better than dragging it to its eventual and more bitter end. Let him know that you are sorry and that his feelings are valid. Your decision is hurting him and that's the least and the most you can do in this situation.

Remember guilt can cloud your judgment. While it is a necessary emotion, don't let it decide for you. The breakup doesn't have to be right or wrong at all times. Whether it aligns with your future is also important.

Your parents' opinions weigh heavily on you and it might be a good thing to consider why they are convinced that he isn't a good match for you. Do what makes you happy but do with while being kind to all the parties involved.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Marriage is a lifelong commitment that requires more than just compatibility on paper. Shared values, mutual respect, and a genuine connection are foundational to a happy and fulfilling relationship. If you feel uncertain or uneasy after meeting this person, it’s worth honoring those feelings and giving yourself time to explore them further. One meeting is often not enough to decide, but neither is it fair for anyone to expect you to commit without clarity.

It might help to have an open and honest conversation with your parents about how this pressure is making you feel. Share your thoughts with them calmly, focusing on your perspective rather than framing it as opposition to their wishes. You could express gratitude for their care while also making it clear that you need space to make a decision that you can feel confident about. Remind them that rushing into a choice you’re not ready for could lead to regret, which is not what either of you wants.

If the pressure continues to escalate, consider involving someone you trust—maybe a relative, family friend, or counselor—who can mediate and help your parents understand your point of view. Sometimes, a neutral perspective can ease tensions and bridge the gap between what they want and what you need.

Above all, remember that this is your life and your happiness at stake. While their love and approval are important, the decision to marry should come from a place of certainty and alignment with your values and goals. It’s okay to take your time, ask for understanding, and prioritize what feels right for you. You deserve a partnership that brings joy, peace, and fulfillment, not one borne out of pressure or fear of missing out.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Judging your parents and their choices is not going to anyway help you in your context. So, why even go there?
Instead focus on your situation and how you can make things happen for yourself.
- Are you financially independent and will you be able to manage the discomfort that will emerge once you choose to be on your own?
- Will your boyfriend support your decision and will he stand by you when you go against your family?
- What does his side of the family have to say about all of this?
If you notice the questions above, none of them are set to 'convince' your family. It is almost impossible to convince someone who does not want to be convinced. These questions will give you an idea and enable to handle your situation by stepping up for yourself.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: From what you’ve shared, this isn’t just a one-time struggle. It’s a pattern where your desires and emotional connections are consistently overruled by parental control. That doesn’t just impact your relationships—it chips away at your autonomy, your confidence in making life decisions, and ultimately, your sense of self.

Let’s take a step back. It sounds like your parents operate from a space of fear, control, or perhaps even cultural conditioning—believing they know what’s “best” for you, even when that means disregarding your emotions. But here’s the truth: you are the one who has to live with the choices made in your life. Not them. You’re not doing something wrong by loving someone. You’re not “disobedient” because you want a say in your own future.

That being said, when you’ve grown up in a strict household, especially where obedience is confused with love, it can be incredibly hard to assert your independence without feeling crushing guilt or fear. But you need to ask yourself: What kind of life will I have if I continue to silence my heart to please others?

This doesn’t mean you need to make a drastic decision right away. But you do need to begin slowly reclaiming your emotional power. Start by asking: do I want to live in a way that makes others comfortable but leaves me emotionally unfulfilled? Or do I want to begin building the courage to live life on my own terms, even if it means disappointing people?

Your education is important, yes—but love and education are not mutually exclusive. Healthy relationships can actually support your growth, help you manage stress, and increase your emotional resilience. If your boyfriend is kind, supportive, and genuinely wants to see you thrive, that’s a blessing, not a burden.

One path you might consider is gradually building emotional boundaries with your parents—not out of rebellion, but from a place of self-respect. That might look like choosing not to share every personal detail with them, or gently but firmly asserting that your relationship is your private choice. It might mean seeking financial or emotional independence so that your choices aren't controlled by fear of what they’ll do or say.

It won’t be easy—but here’s the truth: choosing yourself doesn’t mean you don’t love your parents. It means you also love yourself.